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Chapter Text

It took almost a decade for Toya to realize that something was wrong with his family. 

He was a curious and reckless child, he could thank that aspects of his character if he came to understand that his family was dysfunctional and abusive. 

His father was strict at the beginning, he remembered being barely four and hearing his father yell for the silliest of things. It wasn't too bad but as time passed, it got worse. 

His quirk started to act up against his own body, his father wasn't pleased about it to say the least, and it was just a matter of time before he was hurting so bad that his father was forced to deem him a failure. Itwas hard to accept but being around Fuyumi and Natsuo, who were deemed a failure as soon as they were born, helped. Living in that house was hard, but it was still bearable even if his father sneerd at him and the most of the attention he recieved might have been a shove because he was in the way. 

Things changed when Shōto was born. For a while things seemed to go better. 

He could see their mother struggle with the new addition to the family, but his father seemed delighted and acted a little less harshly. Toya felt a mixture of relief and anger bubble insede of him around that time: he was free from the pain and his father expectation, but at the same time he was invisible to both their parents. 

Peace didn't last though, something was wrong with Shōto, and the more he grew up, the more it became obvious. He was too quiet compared to them, he never seemed interested into playing with them and always seemed lost in his own head. He clung to their mother most of the time, Rei being the only person able to touch him without him starting to cry or scream, the only person he didn't seem to be afraid of. Their father didn't like that one bit, always pulling a crying Shōto left and right for exhausting session Tōya rememberd way too well. He watched them from afar: Shōto cried a lot, their father yelled, Shōto flinched but never said a word while Enji only kept screaming louder.

Thinking about it, Tōya didn't remember ever hearing Shōto say a word at all, that was weird for a four year old, Natsuo would never shut up at that age.

Tōya endured for as long as he could, but when even his mother lost her mind and was sent away to a Pshychiatric ward, he had to act. 

It was a freezing night in the middle of Jenuary when  they walked out the door, finally managing to sneak out of their abusive household. Endeavor as working a night shift on the other side of the city and their old nanny was sleeping soundly in her room.

Shōto was only five years old and was still freshly scarred, bandages were wrapped around his head and covered his left eye making the four of them even more noticeable. As if being out at such a late hour completely alone with backpacks wasn't already enough to make people stare.

He thought that his plan was perfect, that it would work, but he was wrong. 

He hadn't considered how bringing Shōto along would slow them down. 

He was still too little to keep up with them and would only end up being a burden, he would slow them down, he already did. Tōya thought that if they hadn't take Shōto with them, they would have probably made it a lot farter from home that they currently were, because not only Shoto make them slower, it took way too long for Fuyui to convince him to follow.

He shouldn't have been thinking about all of that in that moment though, he should have thought about it before they walked out the door. 

He was freezing, his nose and hands were cold as ice, Shōto's backpack felt ten times heavier than it actually was in his right hand, ten times heavier than the one on his back. Natuo's hand was shaking from the cold in his left one. 

Fuyumi was a few steps behind walking in silence as he held tightly onto Shōto's smaller hand, scared to loose him along the way. 

He could see Shōto struggling to keep up as he held tightly the old teddy bear that was once his, to his chest. He could see how tired Shōto looked, he had started to shuffle his feet a while ago and he seemed to be getting sleepy. 

"Tōya-nii, I'm hungry!" - Natsuo whined recalling the unwanted attention of some passers-by.

It wasn't the first time Natsuo had complained, he had in fact whined more than once through the past hour. Tōya couldn't blame him, he was starvin as well. It was past midnight when they walked out the door and it was already past dinner time. They had some crackers earlier in the morning, but except for Shōto who had a cookie too, that was all they had eaten.

Tōya sighed and stopped walking, dropping Shōto's backpack on the ground to search what was left of the money he had stolen from the jacket his father had left by the genkan the previous day. There was only a few coins left after the cookie he had bought Shōto, and watching through the cafe's window they were passing by, he realised that he couldn't buy nothing with so little money. 

Natsuo whined again and Tōya decided to act knowing full well that he wouldn't be able to ignore his brother much longer. He handed Shōto's backpack to Fuyumi and ordered his siblings to wait for him in the alley around the corner, promising that he'd be back in just a minute. 

He watched his siblings disappear behind the corner before walking inside the cafe.

The air was warm and the smell of coffee and patisserie made his stomach growl.  

Tōya didn't stop to think too much, he spotted a pain au chocolate on a table and as soon as no one was watching he grabbed it and hiding it inside his jacket, he tried to walk out the cafe as quickly and silently as possible. He was unlucky though, the child sitting at the next table seemed to enjoy being a snitch and told the lady someone had stole her food. 

It was a moment, one second he was staring at the woman petrified and the next he was running down the alley with the woman in toe. 

Tōya was panicking so much that he wouldn't even have noticed that Shōto had fallen if Fuyumi hadn't called his name. 

Shōto sat on his knees on the ground completely still, eyes locked to the asphalt.  Tōya could see the tears running down his cheeks as he cried silently and for a moment he thought of running to spun him into his arms and resuming to run even if it meant that Shōto would  most likely going to start screaming at the unwanted physical contact. It was too late though, the woman was already kneeling by his brother and Fuyumi was rushing to them screaming to her not to touch her baby brother.

The stranger looked at them worried and said words Tōya couldn't bring himself to trust: "I just want to help."

No one ever helped for free, there was always a price to pay. 

Tōya held Natsuo's hand tighter and turned around dragging his brother away running as fast as they could. 

He didn't trust that woman, she was most likely lying, but he had no choice. 

Shōto was a burden, he would have been for a long time, maybe even for  all their life and Fuyumi would have never left him behind. If he had stopped to try and get Fuyumi to follow, they were all going to be brought back home and all that struggle to get out of that hell would have been for nothing.

He was crying as he kept running with his brother, telling himself that he had done all he could as a thirteen years old: after all, he couldn't save them all.

Fuyumi was unsure of what she was supposed to do in that situation. They were seated inside a cafe, there were two cups full of warm tea and some pastries in front of them and the lady in front of them, apparently a police officer, was smiling kindly. The cold didn't particularly bother Fuyumi, but the warmth of the cafe was pleasant, her hands seemed to finally be able to move normally.

"What are you doing out at this hour of night alone? Did you get lost?" - the woman asked. 

Fuyumi shook her head into a no before turning to look at his brother who seemed completely lost in his own world.

"Could you tell me what's your name?" 

"Fuyumi..." - she muttered briefly meeting the woman's eyes. 

"That's a lovely name, what about you little one?" - she asked shifting his glance to Shōto. 

"Shōto doesn't talk to strangers..." - Fuyumi said, even though it would have been more accurate to say that Shōto didn't talk at all. To be fair Fuyumi had heard him talk a few times with their mother, but nothing more than a few whispered words.

The woman frowned, but didn't comment on it deciding to focus on something that seemed more important.

"Could you tell me mommy's and daddy's names? I'd like to call them and tell them you're safe and sound..." - the officer asked smiling lightly. She had asked a couple times already, but she had managed to shift her attention somehow.

Fuyumi glanced at Shōto again hesitating for a long while. If they got back home their father would be furious and would most likely beat them up, especially Shōto. He bit her bottom lip nervously for a while before meeting the officer's eyes. 

"We don't want to go back home..." - she said grabbing one of the pastries and handing it to Shōto.

"Dad is...not really a good person. He would hurt me and my brother again..." - she added as soon as Shōto grabbed the pastry and brought it to his mouth, finally seeming to be present again.

"I see..." - the officer said frowning and Fuyumi pretended not to notice how the woman kept staring at his brother's face while a police car parked in front of the caffè.

Chapter Text

After that it was all a blur.

There were a police station and a hospital, in which order Fuyumi couldn't tell. There were more agents and a lot more people questioning her. 

She had struggled through it all and wished Tōya were there to help her instead of being who knows where. 

There was only one sure thing, their father had shown up at the hospital while the doctors were assessing the damage on Shōto's left eye. He looked livid, ready to explode with his flaming beard in place.  A couple officers had escorted him out before he could near her, while Shōto screamed in another room, surely scared to be left alone with strangers that touched him uncaring of his boundaries. Fuyumi couldn't do anything if not try to block out those screams and try to shrug off the unpleasant shiver that the fury in their father's eyes made run down her back. 

A few days later things had quieted down, at least for what she could tell. They had a roof over their head again and Shōto was still with her. She was told that since their mother was unfit to take care of them at the moment and they had no close relatives able to take them in, they were to temporarily stay in a group home with other children. 

It wasn't ideal, but they had three warm meal per day and a bed each, so Fuyumi couldn't complain.

The place was quite old and a bit dilapidated, the heating didn't always work, and they shared a room with a few other kids that were loud and sometimes even rude. Some kids were nice to them, but for the most part they either ignored them or enjoyed taunting Shōto.  

They still had each other though, that had to count for something. Fuyumi kept telling herself that was all that mattered in the end and that it was just a temporary solution, but day after day she started to grow a bit more scared that they were either not getting out of that place, or if they did, they would end up separated.

The thought of loosing Shōto scared her to death. 

It had took a few months for something to change.

One day in early spring she was told that a woman and her husband were willing to take her and her brother into foster care. 

To be honest, it had happened before, but each time it was just her, no one seemed vaguely interested into taking both her and Shōto at the same time. 

Fuyumi was never told why, but apparently his brother was too much for the people taking care of them in the group home, so it must have been the same for every family that had turned them down. 

It was ridiculous to Fuyumi. Most of the kids she had met in the group home were loud, impolite and messy, and they got to get a home quicker than they did. His brother was the complete opposite: he might be lost in his own world most of the time, but he was quiet, respectful and the farther thing from messy. 

Those should have been bonus points, not a reason to exclude them.

Fuyumi didn't understand, but she didn't question it, as she didn't ask about Tōya or Natsuo. She had no idea what had happened to them, but she hoped that wherever they were, they were safe and sound. 

The car ride was quiet, most of the talking was made by the woman, and it was nothing too demanding, mostly information about their home structure.

Aside from names and the fact that they had a biological son, Fuyumi knew nothing about them, they seemed nice people though and, even if Fuyumi knew better than trusting people on a first impression, something seemed to feel right about the two of them. 

When they finally parked, it was outside an apartment complex. It didn't seem luxurious but it was well kept and the parking lot had a little garden nearby that seemed clean. It was nothing compared to their old house, but if that couple was even a tiny bit nicer than their parents, it would have been great. 

"You'll take the guest room instead..." - the woman said as they stopped in front of a door on the fourth floor and the man busied himself with unlocking the door. 

She was definitely talking to her, but Fuyumi couldn't focus as she wanted, Shōto's hand was squeezing her hand hard while he watched around scared and unusually present. 

"Come on in, don't be scared..." - she said moving aside as the man kept the door open for them. 

Fuyumi spared them a glance and with a deep breath she took a step inside taking off her shoes by the genkan and helping Shōto do the same. 

"I gotta head to work now, I'll be back for dinner. Call if anything happens ok?" - the man said.

The woman nodded and they shared a brief kiss before he closed the door behind his back.

"Mommy! Mommy!" - a tiny voice yelled from down the hallway making Shōto flinch and take a step back. 

She stared as the kid rushed down the hallway excitedly holding a drawing in his hand.

"Look what I've..." - the kid stopped abruptly with the drawing midair seeming to notice her and Shōto just then.

"Hey baby. These are Fuyumi and Shōto, you remember how we talked about them staying with us for a while right?" - the woman asked kneeling down right to leave a kiss on the kid's forehead. 

The child nodded excitedly and discharging the drawing completely he lunched forward engulfing Fuyumi in a hug she was too stunned to reciprocate.  

The moment his little arms had let her go, she could see the woman's hand stopping him from nearing Shōto who had taken a step back to hide behind Fuyumi.

"Izuku, sweetie, what have we talked about this morning?" - the woman asked with a soft smile. 

The kid, Izuku, looked at her seeming to be thinking hard about it before taking a step back gasping lightly.

"No touching...sorry mommy..." - he said suddenly sad. 

"It's okay, sweetie..." - the woman answered with a kind smile, ruffling her son's curls.

"Sorry..." - he said again turning to Fuyumi. 

She smiled a bit muttering an 'it's okay...' before the child attention shifted to her brother. 

"Hi!" - Izuku exclaimed smiling widely as he bounced on his feet. 

Fuyumi felt his brother squeeze her hand a bit more and watched as Izuku's enthusiasm died when her brother's reply didn't come.  He watched as Shōto hid a bit more behind her afraid and Izuku turned to look at his mother confused about what he might have done wrong this time. She felt sorry for the child, maybe he expected a brother to play with, but all he was going to get was a shadow lingering in a corner.

Chapter Text

Izuku didn't understand. He was trying his best to be a good big brother, but it didn't seem to work. He was understanding, he always shared his coloured pencils with Shōto whenever mom bought them a colouring book and he didn't invade Shōto's space, always remaining at least at an arm length away as his mother asked him to. Most importantly, he never touched Shōto's precious teddy bear, that was a big 'no no' according to his mom.

It was useless though: Shōto never coloured with him, at best he'd be sitting nearby in silence tightly hugging his teddy bear. He didn't play with him, sometimes he played on his own but most of the time he'd just sit in a corner ignoring Izuku, sometimes he'd glance his way while Izuku played in the opposite corner of the room. Additionally, Shōto didn't talk; that was the last of his problem though, because Izuku talked enough for the both of them. 

Izuku didn't understand, that was surely not what he expected when his mother said they were going to host two children. He expected to get a brother to play with, or at the very least a friend, not whatever that was. 

Even dinner was weird. 

Shōto sat next to him at the table, he ate in complete silence and he'd rarely finish his food, usually leaving half of it in his plate even though it was obvious he was still angry. Izuku watched as his mother would encourage him to eat more but Shōto never listened. 

"How was school today?" - Inko asked Fuyumi.

She hesitated for a minute staring at the meat in her plate before forcing herself to tell about her day. 

They had been staying there for three weeks at that point  and while Shōto didn't seem to make any progress, Fuyumi seemed to be starting to get used to the new environment. She had started going to school the previous week and everything seemed to go smoothly, except the initial tantrum Shōto threw. When Fuyumi had to leave for her first day, Shōto had clung to her and cried. She had spent a long while trying to calm him down and make him understand that she was going to come back after lunch. Izuku didn't know what happened once dad closed the door and drove them to school, he only knew that his school day had been long and boring because no one seemed to want to play with him and once they got back home Shōto had clung to his sister the whole evening. 

The sound of shattered glass interrupted Fuyumi's story. 

Hisashi sighed standing up quickly to clean up the mess before anyone could get hurt, causing the chair to screech against the wooden floor, and suddenly Shōto shrunk into a small ball into his chair crying and shivering as Hisashi neared him. 

The man immediately took a step back glancing at his wife who jumped up to clean up the shattered glass in his place. 

"It's okay Shōto, it was an accident. Accidents happens." - she said cleaning up the glass from the floor. 

"There's no need to cry sweetie, we'll buy a new one. The only thing that matters is that you didn't get hurt." - she added as she walked to the kitchen to throw away the broken glass. 

Izuku watched as his father sat back down with a sigh while Fuyumi tentatively outstretched a hand towards his brother. She stalled midair though, unsure if it was okay to touch him in that moment. Apparently not even her could touch him whenever she wanted, Izuku noticed. 

"No one is mad at you. You did nothing wrong Shōto. Do you understand?" - Inko said kneeling by Shōto's chair once she had placed a new glass on the table. 

Shōto raised his head just a tiny bit looking around to assess the situation while sniffing. Seeing Hisashi sitting in the other side of the table seemed to calm him down a tiny bit. Izuku didn't get why Shōto was so scared of his dad: his dad was a great man! 

"I know you didn't break it on purpose, so it's totally fine." - she reassured - "Besides Izuku is a clumsy one, he tends to break things all the time. We're used to small accident."

Izuku whined lightly because he didn't break things so often as his mother said but noticed how her words seemed to calm Shōto down enough for him to slowly unfurl. 

They resumed to eat as nothing had happened but izuku couldn't shrug off the way Shōto was so scared of his dad. He didn't understand, his dad was a good man: he played with him every time he got the time after work and he'd buy him gifts every time he went on a business travel. There was no reason to be scared of his dad.

Okay, maybe Izuku was wrong. 

His dad wasn't actually as great as he thought.

He had left in one of the worst time of his short life. 

His quirk wouldn't show up and things in primary school had become ugly. Those who used to be his friends had started to show their quirks a while ago; even his best friend had the most amazing quirk by then, while he had nothing. Maybe it was just a late bloomer. That was what his mom had told him more than once, until the doctor had said otherwise. 

He was quirkless and five days later his dad was gone. To work abroad, he had said, and Izuku had chose to believe him even when the disappointment was written all over his father's face. 

He sought comfort in his mother, but she seemed not to know what to do if not apologise and cry; he sought comfort in his best friend, but he was met with rejection and a flow of mocking nicknames that soon spread around the whole classroom and sticked to him like glue.

The first shove came on a Thursday, the fall didn't hurt, what hurt was who it was coming from: Kacchan. 

Izuku didn't say a word about it to his fretting mother, choosing to reassure her saying that he only fell by accident while playing in the school garden. 

He held it together until he was tucked in bed and she had gave him a goodnight kiss and closed the door.  

He curled into a small ball, hiding under the duvet and that's when the first tear fell, then a second, and then it was just an unstoppable river of tears. The betrayal he felt seemed unbearable.

The bed on the other side of the room creaked and Izuku realised Shōto was once again leaving to sneak into his sister's room. 

It was a routine at that point: once he had realised he could sneak into his sister's room without any consequence, he had started to do it every night. 

Izuku guessed he felt safer sharing a bed with his real sister than a room with him, especially when they didn't even talk. After all, Fuyumi was all that was left of Shōto's family for all Izuku knew. 

The door didn't open though and Izuku emerged from under the duvet to see what was taking Shōto so long to leave. Shōto stood by his bed holding loosely on his teddybear. He would have tore that thing to shreds if he were mean enough, that stupid plushie was the only thing Shōto cared about: Izuku was sure that if the world was ending, the only thing Shōto would care to save was that stupid thing.  

"What!?" - Izuku croaked.

Shōto stood still for a while before outstretching the teddybear towards him.

"I don't want your stupid teddybear..." - Izuku said sniffing as he dried his tears with the back of his hand. 

Shōto opened and closed his mouth a few times as if he would start talking while frowning at his plushie as he held it close to his chest again. 

Izuku didn't want it, but somehow he wished Shōto would insist a bit more as a sign that he cared about him. He wished Shōto cared more about people than an object. 

It was stupid anyway, Shōto didn't own him a thing, they were nothing more than acquaintance forced to share a bedroom. 

Shōto stared at his teddybear long enough for Izuku to feel the need to tell him to leave already, but when he did open his mouth to talk, Shōto offered the plushie once more biting onto his lower lip while frowning deeper, his grey eyes locked to the floor while the other one still hidden under an eyepatch. 

For a moment Izuku thought about grabbing that stupid thing and slamming it onto the floor, but the way Shōto's hands shook while offering his most precious possession, stopped him. He outstretched a hand taking the teddybear by an arm and watched as Shōto let go, immediately taking a step back. 

He brought it close to him and hugged it loosely under the duvet. It was soft and had a faint smell of some kind of flower, it almost seemed like some kind of perfume. Shōto stared at his own feet, the silence made Izuku almost uncomfortable. 

Izuku sighed and moved the duvet to invite Shōto in as he scooted closer to the wall making more room. 

"Get in..." - Izuku said just above a whisper and watched as Shōto stared for a few minutes before crawling into bed and curling up into a ball. Shōto was small, shorter than Izuku, and even if they were sharing a single bed there was still enough space for them to not touch. Izuku let go of the plushie and placed it between them allowing Shōto to have the other paw of the teddybear. 

"Why you gave it to me?" - Izuku asked.

Shōto's grey eye met his gaze briefly before focusing back on his teddybear again.

The answer never came and Izuku was left wondering what went through Shōto's head.

Chapter Text

It hurt but Izuku held tightly on his dream.

Even when he realised that even Shōto had a flashy quirk of his own: Shōto didn't like to show it off and seemed focused on hiding it as much as he could, but he still had one. A really amazing one according to Izuku. 

Shōto had started attending elementary school with him around April, a couple weeks after the beginning of the school year. It hadn't been exactly pleasant, and Izuku had watched from afar as some of his classmates would pick on him from time to time. It was nothing major, just some name calling, mostly related to the eyepatch that still covered his left eye or his weird demeanour, it was nothing compared to how they treated Izuku everyday. 

His birthday came and went by.

His mother insisted to throw him a birthday party and went ahead and invited his classmates even when Izuku asked her not to. 

It wasn't a surprise when after an hour no one had showed up. Well, it wasn't a surprise for Izuku, it was for Inko though. Kacchan called in sick and Inko said that she might have wrote the wrong time or date on the rest of the invites, but Izuku knew it was not the case: they just didn't want to come, no one wanted to be around him and Izuku thought that his mother should have realised at that point. Apparently she didn't and Izuku didn't have the courage to tell her. 

He really wished he could have avoided going through all of that though.

The cake was good but not enough to make him forget how sad it was to only have his mother and Fuyumi sing him a happy birthday song while Shōto sat nearby in silence.

He was given an all might figure as a present and for a couple minutes he was super excited and happy, but it didn't last really long. How could he be happy when he had no one with whom he could share that joy? How could he be happy when there was no one else if not the people who were forced to be there? 

That night Izuku couldn't help but think about it while he laid in bed staring at the ceiling. How could he be happy? Shōto was sleeping next to him, teddybear held loosely between his arms, uncaring as always. 

That had become a habit, Shōto would climb into his bed almost every night and ever since his mother found out in the morning the very first time it happened, she thought they were finally getting closer.

They weren't though. Sure, with time Shōto had become a bit more comfortable around him and started to walk closer to him while they walked to school but that and sharing a bed at night didn't make them closer. They were still stranger and Izuku hated that Shōto was the closest thing to a friend when they couldn't be any farther from being friends. He felt bitter, something ugly stirred in his heart, but he tried to suppress it with all he had.

Time flew after that day, it would be January in a few months and Shōto was soon to be 6 years old, but still not a word had left his mouth. 

It had been half a year and Izuku had started to think that when his mother said Fuyumi and Shōto would stay with them "for a while", she didn't mean just a few months, he had started to think that they were staying for good.

Izuku sighed walking around the hallways in search of Shōto. He had gone to the bathroom but when he came back to get his backpack and leave, Shōto wasn't there anymore. That was strange, even though they never talked, they always walked home together. 

Izuku turned a corner and stopped in his tracks. Shōto was pressed against the wall, Kacchan and his friends around him blocking every way out. He saw that stupid teddybear in one of Kacchan's friends hand. He was saying something, mocking him for that stupid plushie because he thought that was too childish for a 6 years old. He watched the plushie being thrown around until they started fighting over it and Izuku feared they would rip that thing apart. That wasn't what worried him the most though, the fact that Ao was about to touch Shōto was. 

"Leave him alone." - Izuku said getting closer. He was already regretting getting involved, but he couldn't let them take it out on quiet defenceless Shōto. Mom was going to be mad if Shōto got hurt. 

"Aww, useless Deku came to rescue dumb Shōto..." - one said, what was his name again?

Izuku sighed shrugging the name off, he had started to get used to it at that point: he was only Deku in that school, he had no other name. 

"Give that back..." - he said pointing at the teddybear while standing in front of Shōto shielding him from Ao's touch. 

Tsubasa laughed throwing the plushie to another kid Izuku hadn't bothered to learn the name of. 

"Or what? You're gonna make us pay with your quirk?" - Ao mocked - "Oh, right! You don't have one!"

It hurt, it always did, it always would. 

Another round of laughter stabbed him in the chest, but Izuku took a deep breath and pretended it didn't hurt. He would never show how much it hurt. 

"It's not yours, give it back!" - he said again taking a step forward. 

It was going to end bad, of course it was, but Izuku had to do the right thing. He was a good child and one day he would be a great hero exactly like All Might, even if he didn't have a flashy quirk like everyone else. How could he be a hero if he just turned around and left Shōto alone? 

He outstretched a hand to grab the teddy bear from Riku'd grip, but as Riku throw it to Kacchan, he was shoved back by Tsubasa. 

He stumbled a bit but didn't fall.

"Give it back Kacchan!" - he said staring at the one who used to be his best friend. 

Kacchan's friends laughed and mocked while he smirked and waited patiently for Izuku to launch forward, already knowing he would. Izuku knew fighting Kacchan was a mistake, he could tell in the exact moment he took the first step that he would get hurt, but he couldn't stop himself. Kacchan's palms fired explosions on his arm and it hurt so much that Izuku couldn't help but cry out. They laughed at his pain. It was bad but there was at least a good thing about all of that: none of them cared about the teddybear or Shōto anymore because they had Izuku there.

When they eventually left, it was because a teacher was passing by. The man glanced at them briefly but said nothing, even if Izuku was crying sitting in the ground, he just glanced for a moment and then proceeded to leave. Izuku sighed and turned to look at Shōto who was silently crying sat on the ground, knees tightly hugged to his chest. 

He turned to reach for the teddybear so Shōto would calm down and they could finally go home, but when he did, he saw the teddybear's body laying on the floor in front of him, the head was a few meters away. 

Izuku got up and gathered his backpack along the pieces of Shōto's precious plushie. He gently placed the plushie's body into Shōto's backpack that he found  discharged on the other side of the hallway. 

"Mom will fix it..." - he said handing Shōto his backpack. 

Shōto stared at his backpack as more tears run down his face. He didn't move much, he only hugged his legs a bit closer to his chest.

Izuku couldn't help but feeling useless: he wasn't able to help Shōto, he wasn't able to save his stupid teddybear and now he couldn't even hug him to comfort him. 

Maybe they were not wrong: he was useless.

His mother was panicking, Izuku could tell as she frantically searched for disinfectant and cottonwood to mend to his scrapes as soon as they walked into the house. 

Initially she had fretted over Shōto for a while, just until she noticed that Izuku was the one covered in bruises. 

Izuku had to get a janitor to call his mother to come get them because Shōto wouldn't get up and he didn't know what to do if not sit next to him at an arm length. When she finally arrived with Fuyumi in tow, Shōto had already stopped crying, but he was still frozen in place. Fuyumi had scooped him up and they had gotten into the car to drive home. 

The drive was mostly silent, except for Fuyumi whispering some words to Shōto from time to time. 

Inko asked what had happened and Izuku didn't say a word, because even if Kacchan had betrayed him and hurt him, he still loved him. Izuku only knew how to love, hatred didn't suit him. 

Well he tried not to talk, but he caved in at some point: how was he supposed to ask his mother to fix Shōto's teddybear if he didn't tell her at least a tiny bit of what had happened?

"Why did you start a fight?" - Inko asked. She seemed mad to Izuku, whom couldn't understand why. 

"I didn't start a fight! I was trying to help..." - he explained again. 

"Izuku..." - She sighed exasperates as the disinfectant made his knee burn.

"They took Shōto's teddybear, I had to do something..." - Izuku said and watched his mother frown deeper.

"What made you think it was a good idea to intervene instead of searching for a teacher?" - Inko asked meeting her son's eyes for a moment before tending to Izuku's other scraped knee. 

"You're not listening, they had Shōto's stupid teddybear! I had to do something, he needed help!" - Izuku explained again. 

"You didn't have to do a thing except staying out of trouble!" - she said, a bit too harshly for Izuku's likings. 

That was the thing: ever since the doctor had said he was quirkless, his mother had started to worry a lot more  but that worry showed in trying to discourage him from helping others and keep him away from everyone.

"But I..." - Izuku tried to speak up but was soon interrupted.

"Where was Katsuki?" - Inko asked - "He could have helped you."

"I don't know..." - Izuku lied lowering his head.

His mother didn't know what was going on between him and Kacchan, and she didn't have to know. Her and Kacchan's mom were the best of friends and Izuku was not about to make things ugly between them, it was already ugly enough between him and Kacchan. 

"I don't want to tell you this again Izuku, so listen carefully: you're not some kind of hero!" - Inko said and something deep inside Izuku cracked. 

"What if they hurt you badly? Who is going to stand up for you?" - she asked.

Izuku didn't have an answer.

Or rather, he had one but his mother wouldn't have liked it: no one was going to stand up for him because he had no one who cared about him enough to fight for him. 

"Please, stay out of trouble. Stop acting like a hero." - she said. 

Her voice was pleading, her eyes sad and her hands were holding onto his gently, but Izuku couldn't bring himself to reassure her. 

He jumped off the chair and stomped to his bedroom slamming the door behind his back. He could hear his mother telling him to get back to the kitchen, but he didn't care. 

Being reminded that he was useless stung.

It stung, it always would.

Shōto glanced at Izuku, silent as always.

Izuku was not having desert for dinner as punishment for slamming the door on his mother's face.

He was angry with his mother and he was angry with Shōto for doing nothing as his mother punished him for doing something brave like trying to help instead of being praised. He should have known that Shōto's help wouldn't come, it was clear the moment they walked into the house and Shōto didn't let go of his sister's hand while he trailed behind his fretting mother.

"I'll help clean the dishes..." - Fuyumi said jumping off the chair to follow Inko in the kitchen with a couple glasses in her hands. 

Shōto looked as the two females disappeared into the kitchen before turning back to look at Izuku. 

He grabbed his second untouched cookie and once he had made sure they were still alone he pushed it to Izuku, unaware that in that exact moment Fuyumi had walked back in the room.

She smiled watching Izuku stare at his brother, glance bouncing from Shōto's face to the cookie in his hand a few times before taking it. Shōto went back to eat his cookie and Fuyumi walked to the table to gather the empty dishes left. Izuku quickly hid the cookie under the table and Fuyumi stifled a laugh watching him struggle. 

"I saw nothing..." - she said winking Izuku's way.

It was later that night that Izuku, still in the middle of his tantrum, refused his goodnight kiss.

Inko left the room with a sigh just after making sure Shōto was tucked into bed, hoping that by the time morning came, Izuku would have calmed down.

A little while after the door was closed, Izuku heard some shuffling from the other bed and soon his duvet was being moved.

He turned around and briefly glared at Shōto who was inviting himself into his bed.

"Just because you gave me a cookie doesn't mean I forgive you..." - he said.

Shoto stopped, remaining one knee on the mattress and a feet on the ground, unsure if he was going to be kicked out the bed or not.

"You can stay..." - Izuku sighed laying back down watching as Shōto hesitantly crawled on the bed and laid down.

"Only until your stupid teddybear is fixed..." - he added before closing his eyes trying to fall asleep.

He wasn't surprised when Shoto didn't answer. He guessed being around him was still better than sleeping in his own bed without the comfort of his teddybear, but he thought that it was weird how he didn't go to sleep in his sister's room.

The next morning Fuyumi walked them to school as usual, everything seemed to be back to normal. She bid Shōto goodbye, telling him the same old recommendation of behaving and don't get in trouble before turning to Izuku.

"Thanks for protecting him, Izuku."- she said.

Izuku watched her leave before turning around and walking inside the gate with Shōto in tow.

He felt a tiny bit less useless.

Chapter Text

"Here you go!" - Inko said handing him the fixed teddy bear.

Shōto grabbed it immediatelly and hugged it tightly burring his nose into the white fur.

Izuku was quite sure he had never seen Shōto smile before that moment and he sighed remembering how important that stupid plushie was to him, he could never compete with it. Sadness took a hold of him as he realised that things were going go back to how they used to be a few months before. He didn't have the best of relationship with Shōto, they didn't talk, they didn't play, but having him staying nearby and sleep close at night made him feel less lonely: at least Shōto seemed able to bear him while everyone else mocked him and pushed him aside.

Shōto enthusiasm was short lived though, he suddenly loosened the hug and stared at the plushie. 

"Say thank you Sho.." - Fuyumi said from the couch frowning at her brother’s reaction.

Shōto gave her a look and neared her offering her the teddybear making his sister frown deeper.

"What's the matter?" - Fuyumi asked taking the plushie and inspecting it, finding nothing wrong with the object. 

She gave it back to her brother, unsure of what Shōto was trying to communicate, and watched how he stared at her sadly. 

"I don't understand Sho, use your words..." - she sighed waiting for some kind of explanation. Apparently, Shōto could talk, he just didn’t want to; Izuku had realised that much just by watching him and Fuyumi interact. His mother had told him that was something she was trying to work out with one of the doctors Shōto was already seeing.

Shōto looked around glancing towards Inko and Izuku before shaking his head into a no making Fuyumi sigh defeated. He hugged the teddybear again, burring his nose into the fur again before going back to stare at his sister, only then Fuyumi seemed to understand. 

"Oh, the smell..." - she mumbled with a sad smile outstretching a hand to brush the hair out of Shōto's right eye. 

"Kuma doesn't smell like mom anymore, I get it Sho...It had to be washed though..." - she said. 

Shōto frowned slightly and stared at the teddybear almost like it was something foreign to him all of a sudden. Izuku didn't understand: was Shōto so attached to that stuffed animal because it smelled like his mom? Izuku didn't know much about Shōto's mom, but if he and Fuyumi were staying with them, she was either gone or a really bad mom and Izuku had never considered the first option to be the right one.

"Just say thank you Sho..." - Fuyumi encouraged with a smile only for Shōto to glance at his sister with a teary eye.

"I'm so sorry dear, I had no idea..." - Inko said taking a step towards the two of them. 

Shōto looked at Inko with tears running down his right cheek as he took a step back.

"Shōto, it's just a toy..." - Fuyumi sighed as she stood up and kneeled in front of him, hands resting over his forearms.

Shōto looked at her, a sob shaking his body before the few small tears that had escaped his eye turned into a river. 

Inko kneeled looking at him with a sad expression, telling him how sorry she was for washing the smell away while Fuyumi’s glance bounced between the two of them, seeming unsure of what to do. Izuku watched in silence from the table, noticing the guilt in his mother's eyes as Shōto let the teddy bear fall to the floor and took a step back shaking of his sister. He watched as Fuyumi picked the plushie from the floor and tried to give it back to Shōto who only took another step back.

Izuku felt bitter and defeated as Shōto run out the room instead of going to sit next to him. He turned his glance back to his homework and tried to focus on the textbook in front of him, shrugging off the bad feeling that the sight of Shōto’s teary eyes gave him, and ignored as his mother and Fuyumi kept talking in the background.

"I'm so so sorry, I really had no idea..." - Inko said mortified. 

"It's okay, he can't keep clinging to that teddy bear forever..." - Fuyumi answered.

Izuku didn't need to see her to know she was just trying to be polite: Shōto couldn't stay without that stupid plushie, even Izuku knew it.

Sometimes Izuku liked to be wrong: Shōto had his stupid teddy bear again, yet he was crawling into his bed empty handed as if it was his own.

Izuku really didn't understand what went through Shōto's head, but he wasn't about to complain or push him away. That was the closest they had been since his mother had brought him and Fuyumi home after all.

Adding to that, he had no friend, so it was nice to have someone around, even if Shoto didn't act like a friend. Anything would be better than being completely alone to him. 

"Aren't you going to sleep in your bed now that you have your teddybear back?" - he asked staring at Shōto's unusually empty hands.

Shōto shook his head into a no, making himself comfortable, or to be exact, he made himself smaller. The plushie's absence felt weird to Izuku, who couldn't help but wondered how Shōto could suddenly discharged that thing so easily when he was crying about it a few hours before. He decided he didn't really care, especially if that meant he was going to get his undivided attention for once. 

"You make no sense to me..." - Izuku said with a sigh.

He closed his eyes trying to fall asleep but suddenly opened them again as he felt warm fingers close around his pinky. He watched as Shoto's hand held onto his pinkie between them and scoffed lightly.

"You make no sense to me at all." - he smiled wiggling his pinky until Shōto let go so that he could get a hold of Shoto's hand and gave it a little squeeze.

Shōto didn't say anything as expected but he held eye contact with Izuku for more than a few seconds.

That was something new as the way Shōto’s lips moved into soundless words that Izuku couldn’t figure out.

Izuku, for once, felt incredibly hopeful.

Chapter Text

Shōto had seen a lot of doctors ever since he and Fuyumi started living with them. Izuku was full aware, his mother had spent more time at the hospital lately, plus he had gone with them a few times when Rin couldn't babysit him. He had never bothered to ask why he had to see so many or so often though. He didn't really care as long as Shōto would keep sitting next to him. 

That day Shōto had yet another doctor appointment, Izuku wasn't sure if it was the first appointment of the week or the second, but he was sure that they were taking much longer than they usually. 

It was almost dinner time when they all came back and Rin said her goodbyes while walking out the door. Izuku  was starving, so he hadn't bothered to greet them, trying hard to finish the last bit of his homework so that once he was done they could have dinner. 

Once he was done though, he noticed something was off: Shōto hadn't come to sit next to him as he usually would every time they'd get back home from the hospital. 

Izuku looked around and didn't find him sitting anywhere in the room. He jumped off the chair and was about to go looking for Shōto when his mother stopped him and sat him on the couch saying that they had to talk.

"What's wrong? Where's Shōto?" - Izuku asked adjusting on the couch while swinging his feet a bit.  

"We need to talk about him." - she said sitting next to him while getting a hold of one of his hand as to make sure he'd pay her attention. 

"Why? Is he not feeling good? He didn't come to say hi..." - Izuku pointed out, even if his hi was just coming to sit next to him and it might have seemed stupid; it all revolved around that small habit for Izuku.

"He's...well, I think he needs some space right now." - Inko said. Izuku didn't find it particularly odd, even if Shōto usually sat next to him, he liked to be alone most of the time.  

"You see, the doctor removed Shōto's eyepatch today and he won't wear one anymore from now on..." - she added with an all too serious expression according to Izuku who was pretty sure that should have been a good news.

"Oh, okay!" - Izuku exclaimed ready to go back to find Shōto and see if he would finally play with him now that he could see better, completely discharging his mother's previous words. Inko hold on his hand tightened though and stopped him from leaving.

"We're not done talking sweetie." - she said and Izuku noticed just then Fuyumi standing by the doorframe.

"We're not?" - Izuku asked confused, glance jumping from his mother to Fuyumi a few times. 

"No. I can't remember if we've ever talked about it before, but do you know why he wore an eyepatch?"

"Because his eye hurt?" - Izuku guessed. They never talked about it, Izuku just assumed it must have hurt a lot because Shōto would touch the eyepatch quite often and he always looked in pain while doing it. 

"Well, not really. Regardless of it hurting or not, it's because Shōto's eye was hurt really bad before he came to live here with us." - she said. 

"How did he get hurt?" - Izuku asked. He wasn't sure if he had already asked before, but he was sure that if he had, he had never received an answer to that question. 

"Well, that's not really important right now." - Inko said  hesitating to explain his baby the little she knew about the dynamic and story of Shōto's family.

Izuku noticed the quick glance his mother gave Fuyumi but didn't point it out. 

"What I want you to understand is that even if you might think it's not the prettiest thing to look at, you're still looking at Shōto. Okay?" - Inko said forcing a reassuring smile. 

"Not pretty??" - Izuku asked confused. 

"He has a pretty big scar around his eye..." - Inko explained only making Izuku frown deeper.

"Is it not going to heal?" - he asked frowning.

"No sweetie, it's a scar. It won't get better, it will stay like that..."

"Like, forever?" - Izuku asked, glance glued to his mother's sad smile while she nodded. 

"But scars are ugly..." - Izuku stated as a matter of fact. 

"Izuku..."- she sighed, struggling to find the right words to say.

"Scars might not look pretty but...you know how heroes always have some battle wounds?" - she asked, receiving a nod from the child -  "...well, it's similar. It shows that he's been through something bad, but he was strong enough to make it through it. It's beautiful in a way, don't you think?"

Izuku hummed still a little unsure; heroes did great things to help people and sometimes they ended up with bad wounds, but Shōto was five years old and didn't do anything great for all Izuku knew.

"Will it always hurt?" - he asked.

"No sweetie..." - Inko said forcing a smile.

'Not physically at least' - was what she'd would have liked to say, but she wasn't ready to have that conversation with her son: he was still too young to understand. 

"Ok...Can he play with me now that he can see with both his eyes?" 

Inko hesitated again, not sure how to explain to her child that Shōto did not see much from his left eye anymore. She gave Fuyumi another glance and Izuku couldn't help but turn around to watch Fuyumi's expression. 

"Why are you sad?" - he asked. Fuyumi looked taken aback and only managed to shake her head furiously into a no, muttering a soft 'it's nothing, I'm okay'.

"I'm not sure if he wants to play baby, but why don't you try asking him later?" - Inko said recalling his attention. That was enough to distract her son, Izuku smiled and once he had jumped off the couch, he rushed past Fuyumi towards his bedroom excitedly, completely discharging that 'later' his mother had tried to point out. 

Izuku stared, he could not avoid staring. He didn't know Shōto's eyes were two different colors, he didn't know people could have two different eye color. 

He was taken aback, his left eyes was of the prettiest blu he had ever seen, but it was in huge contrast with the patch of red skin surrounding it. The scar looked nasty  and Izuku was sure it had to hurt a lot, every scrapes he had gained in his falls could never compare to that. Just the sight of it was enough to make him flinch in pain.

Izuku wasn't sure in which order those thoughts had come to his mind though.

It took him a lot longer than expected to be able to speak to Shōto, a few really long minutes, and Inko had stared worriedly from the doorframe, noticing how her son's first instinct upon seeing Shōto's eye had been unconsciously taking a step back. 

Shōto didn't move though, he didn't react at all.

He never reacted as he was expected to and that was something that had been worrying her for a while now. 

She was not sure if Shōto's behaviour was just a product of all the trauma he went through at such a young age or if it was something else because even if Fuyumi had the same background, she behaved like a regular 12 years old child after all.

"Do you want to see the castle I made with our Lego blocks? We can add something new together if you want!" - Izuku proposed, suddenly back to act like himself, past the shock of seeing Shōto's entire face for the first time. 

Izuku's quick acceptance of Shōto's look was all Inko could have wished for, unfortunately though, it seemed like it was not enough for Shōto whom only movement was shifting to avoid eye contact. 

Shōto was not crawling into his bed and that was the oddest thing of the world to Izuku: there had never been a night when Shōto did not crawl into his bed ever since the first time.

Izuku tried to shrug it off, but he was so used to that little routine that that little variation seemed to affect him too much. 

He couldn't help it, he jumped out of bed and walked to Shōto's bed, stopping just in front of it.

Shōto was curled up under the duvet facing the wall but Izuku was sure he had heard him getting closer: Shōto's hearing was great, he always noticed the smallest of sounds, so Izuku concluded that Shōto must have been ignoring him on purpose.

"Shōto?" - Izuku called out.

Shōto turned around slightly, just enough to see him with the corner of his right eye.

"You're not coming to sleep in my bed?" - he asked, feeling almost ashamed that he was asking such a question. 

Shōto didn't answer, he just stared for a moment before turning away again stirring inside Izuku a cold feeling. 

"Can I sleep in yours?" - Izuku asked almost in a whisper.

Silence met Izuku's question.

"Did I do something wrong?" - Izuku asked, the fear of an unwilling mistake costing that little relationship he had with Shōto scaring him. 

Shōto brought the covers over his head and Izuku stood still waiting for some kind of answer for a few minutes, until a few minutes later when defeated, muttering a soft 'I'm sorry if I did' , Izuku crawled back into his own bed.

He wasn't sure what he had done wrong, but he must have done something wrong, because there was no other reason why Shōto wouldn't be willing to be close to him. He must have made some kind of mistake.

The only other option was that Shōto just had enough of him, and Izuku didn't even what to consider the idea of Shōto being unable to tolerate him as everyone else. 

Shōto was different after all, right?

He must have done something wrong: Izuku was sure of it the next morning, because Shōto was refusing to go to school and be anywhere near him. 

It had started with a lot of whining when Inko had come to wake them up, then Shōto had wasted a lot of time before breakfast refusing to sit next to Izuku, and then he ended up running around the house escaping both his mother and Fuyumi. 

"Shōto, please! I'm going to be late for school..." - Fuyumi said exasperated. 

Shōto shook his head into a no and finally stopped running around as Fuyumi had stopped chasing him. 

"We have to go to school! Come on!" - Fuyumi pleaded.

Shōto shook his head again and Fuyumi let their backpack fall to the ground as she sighed fixing her ponytail a little. 

"Why not?" - Fuyumi asked obviously only receiving silence as an answer.

"Shōto, sweetie, you have to go to school..." - Inko said cautiously nearing him. 

"There's no need for you to be scared, Izuku will be there with you..." - she added to which Shōto took a step back. 

Inko frowned: that was an odd reaction, lately Shōto had been cooperating a bit more easily whenever he was assured that Izuku would be with him.

"Izuku, what have you done this time?" - Inko asked with a sigh turning to look at her son. 

Izuku frowned, that ugly feeling that had stirred inside Izuku's chest from time to time, made itself noticeable once more. 

"Nothing..." - Izuku said, because he did in fact do nothing, at least not that he knew.

"Izuku..." - Inko warned, and Izuku felt so incredibly angry. Why was no one ever believing him? 

"Why it's always my fault?! I did nothing!" - Izuku yelled and apparently no one but him noticed the way Shōto flinched.

"Enough!" - Inko said firmly and Izuku watched as Shōto took another step back looking way stiffer than he did a second before.

"Can you take him to school? I'll see if I can find a way to bring him in a bit later, or I'll take a day off for today if I can't." - she said meeting Fuyumi's eyes.

Fuyumi nodded taking her own backpack once again before extending her hand to Izuku who only felt incredibly jealous. 

"I want to stay home too!" - Izuku whined looking at his mother with pleading eyes. The idea of spending a day away from his bullies seemed like a dream. 

"You are going to school Izuku." - Inko sighed standing up. 

"If he gets to stay home, I want to stay home too!" - Izuku complained loudly. He didn't like how his mother played favourites: Shōto always seemed to win.

"Izuku, you're going to school and that's final! Don't you even dare to start throwing a tantrum!" - she said firmly and Izuku, even if he had a bad feeling about the day, obeyed, because that's what good children do. 

Izuku sat in silence. 

He didn't want to talk, not when his mother didn't believe a word coming out of his mouth and kept scolding him for getting into trouble again for the fourth time that week.

He was bruised again and somehow it was his fault again for fighting a battle that didn't concern him. 

The problem was that the fight did concern him: they were picking on him, he had to stand up for himself; dad always said that he had to fight for himself. But dad was not there anymore, so why did he even bother?

"I've told you a thousand times Izuku! You need to stop playing hero and stay out of trouble!" - she scolded.

Izuku didn't answer, fighting back had no point: she wouldn't believe him, nor understand. He fought back tears as the disinfectant burned his knees and once his bruises had been attended, he walked to his room keeping his eyes glued to the floor. 

He crawled on his bed and curled into a ball, watching as Shōto sat on his own bed hugging that stupid teddybear tightly while colouring on a colouring book Izuku had never seen before.

"It's a new book?" - he asked. He already knew the answer but wished Shōto would say no, if anything just to make him feel a bit less awful. 

But Shōto didn't care about his feelings and nodded a yes barely looking at him. Izuku should have known better than to expect Shōto to be nice: no one ever was nice to him, almost like if he didn't deserve kindness. 

"Why are you like this?" - Izuku asked, full aware that no answer would come out of Shōto's mouth. 

Shōto stopped colouring and turned to look at him, inexpressive as usual. As expected, no answer came.

"I tried to be a good brother, I really tried my best..." - he said, Shōto's answer never coming. 

"You will take everything away..." - Izuku mumbled just above a whisper before turning around to face the wall.

Shōto would take everything from him, Izuku was sure of it: he already had his mother almost undivided attention, she was already buying him gifts Izuku didn't get, going all the way to find the same perfume Shōto's mom used so that stupid teddybear could smell like her again, she had never punished him once, not even when he acted up. 

Having a brother wasn't what Izuku thought it was going to be like and he regretted ever wishing to have one.

Chapter Text

It took more than a week to convince Shōto to go back to school. Well, maybe convince was not the right word, mom and Fuyumi had forced him to go back and Izuku watched how Shōto cried and fought wasting so much energy that by the time they reached the school, Shōto was drained and gave up. And with forced, Izuku meant dragged.

Izuku didn't particularly care if he was there or not, he was mostly bothered by all the crying and the way his mother was so focused on Shōto. He was worried about his bullies too. They had picked on him almost everyday, and his mother never seemed to notice, always too focused on work or on Shōto, while Shōto didn't seem to care at all if he crawled into bed every single night and silently cried himself to sleep. He numbly went through his days as each one seemed like the previous one. It was exhausting.

Izuku didn't know what to expect when Shōto had finally walked through the classroom door, but it wasn't a surprise how Kacchan's friend had immediately picked on him. He thought they would make fun of him for walking into class sniffing after a long cry like a little child, the same way they had already made fun of him for his stupid teddybear, but instead they immediately focused on Shōto's scar and started to call him ugly freak first thing in the morning.

The way Shōto had searched for him with his eyes as if asking for help from the row behind him wasn't a surprise either. It made his heart clench, but at the same time Izuku was mad and felt so bitter about the last week of bulling, that the only thing he could think about was making Shōto taste his own medicine: indifference. So he turned around and faced the blackboard waiting for the teacher to come in and hoping the day would end as quickly as possible while he could hear his bullies torment Shōto. At least, for once, they weren't focusing on him. 

"Did they burn your tongue too?" - Tsubasa mocked.

Shōto stood still, eyes locked on the floor and back as close to the wall as possible as he clutched the strap of his backpack tightly. 

Izuku sighed a few steps from his own desk as he watched Kacchan's friend crowd Shōto at the end of the day, Kacchan a couple steps away watching the scene as he had started doing lately.

Apparently, they found it funny how Shōto looked; Izuku only found it sad, just thinking about how that was going to be the only thing people would ever notice about Shōto. It wasn't much different from the way people would always only care about his own lack of quirk, it was just harder for Shōto to hide it since the problem was burned on his face. 

He thought it was stupid how they were making fun of Shōto's appearance: Ao'a quirk had something to do with snails and his eyes looked like those of one, he was the farthest thing from pretty, yet he felt like he could make fun of someone's else appearance. Izuku had never commented on Ao's eyes, his mom always told him to be kind and respect people appearance even before Shōto's scar came into the picture.

"You look like a monster!" - Ao laughed making Izuku flinch slightly. 

It must have hurt, the way Shōto's shut his eyes tightly and lowered his head even more, taking a step back seemed to say so. Izuku knew way too well how it felt to be made fun of for something you had no power over, something you hated about yourself. Izuku hated being quirkless and it hurt a lot whenever Kacchan and his friends made fun of him for that. Shōto must have hated that scar too, it must have brought a lot of bad memories along if what his mom had said was true. Besides, Shōto always covered it as best as he could with his hair and sometimes he'd hid part of his face behind his hands even back home where no one would make fun of him.

Izuku really didn't want to intervene, didn't matter if he wanted to be petty for once, but he had no choice, not when Ao pushed Shōto and he bumped against the wall before sliding down the wall till he fell on his butt, breathing heavy, hand closing into fists by his side. Mom was going to get mad if he didn't protect Shōto. 

Well, she would get mad regardless, but Izuku was just that kind of person, he cared about people even when they didn't care about him, he could not stand to see that scene any longer.

Besides he always wanted to be a hero and he always wished someone would step up and be his hero when they picked on him. How could he aspire to be like All Might if he just stared from the sidelines like a coward? 

"Have you looked at yourself in the mirror?" - Izuku's lips moved faster that his brain. That wasn't what he really wanted to say, it was rude and unkind of him to say. 

"What did useless Deku say?" - Ao asked looking almost amused that he had something to say as he turned around to look at him. Izuku didn't really care, he was used to how they seemed to think that every word leaving his mouth was stupid. Maybe it wasn't such a bad thing that his mouth had run wild for once. 

"I asked if you have looked at yourself in the mirror?" - Izuku repeated walking around him to stand in front of Shōto.

Ao laughed because Izuku's opinion meant nothing to him. Izuku just looked at him waiting for him to realise what he really meant with those words, but it seemed that the boy wasn't that smart after all. 

"You two are a perfect match: you think you're so cool protecting him but you're as stupid and useless as you can get and he's so ugly no one but you could ever want to be around him."

"He's not ugly..." - Izuku sighed, Ao was the one he struggled the most to tolerate out of Kacchan's friends; he was so full of himself for no reason. At least Kacchan was cool, he had an amazing quirk and made funny jokes, Ao was just stupid and arrogant. 

"He's not ugly..." - Ao repeated his words in a mocking way, making everyone laugh. 

"You are an ugly person. He did nothing wrong, you have no reason to bully him. You're just doing it because you are mean and stupid." - Izuku said frowning sure that this would get a reaction out of the other boy.

"What did you say?" - Ao took a step forward as expected, hands squeezing into fists, ready to hit.  

Izuku didn't move and didn't even try to take his words back: he would have been lying if he took those words back, because Izuku really thought that Ao was an ugly person for being so mean with them when they had never done anything to piss them off in the first place. He braced himself and waited for the punch to hit, but the blow never came.

"What's going on here?" - the janitor's voice invaded the room making Ao stop in his track.

He and his friend all scrambled to say that nothing had happened, that Shōto had fallen on his own and they were just checking if he was okay. The man didn't seem to believe them, but he didn't seem willing to help him and Shōto out either. 

"Go home..." - the janitor said and waited for them to rush out the room. Izuku could swear that he noticed Kacchan spare them a glance before walking out the door, but he couldn't tell what was the reason why he did that.

 The janitor sighed at the sight of Izuku and Shōto still there and shook his head defeated before turning around and leaving, stopping by the door just for a brief second. 

"Put yourself together and get out of here..." - he said and proceeded to walk out of the room leaving them alone without sparing them another glance.

Izuku watched the open door for a few seconds before turning back to Shōto and kneeling down. 

"Are you hurt?" - he asked, because even if the fall couldn't have hurt that much, Izuku could tell that Shōto was breathing too fast and crying too much to be okay.

Shōto looked at him briefly, breath rugged, tears running down his cheeks, a hand covering the left side of his face.

"You're not a monster, they...they're just mean..." - he said with a final sigh. 

Izuku had known them ever since they were toddlers and he couldn't remember a time when they had been nice to him. Only Kacchan was somewhat nice to him at the very beginning, but then, even he had turned his back on him.  

Shōto sniffed lowering his glance back to the floor.

"I think your eyes are pretty, both of them..." - Izuku added with a little smile, watching how Shōto looked at him slowly lowering the hand covering his left eye, holding eye contact for just a brief second before lowering his eyes to the floor. 

"They're just too stupid to see it." - he added. 

Silence met Izuku's words again and he couldn't help but sigh defeated while standing up. 

"Do you feel like going home now?" - Izuku asked outstretching a hand for Shōto to help him up in case he was willing to touch him, even though he had never been willing to touch him after that one single time.

Izuku was sure Shōto wouldn't move, or that at best, he'd only close on himself a bit more leaving him no choice but to get the janitor to call his mother so she'd come to pick them up. 

To Izuku's surprise though, Shōto gently placed his cold right hand on his. Izuku helped him up and let Shōto fix his backpack on his shoulder before starting to walk to the door, sure that Shōto would follow him quickly, if anything to avoid bumping into their bullies again. 

What he didn't expect though, was the cold hand clutching his as he walked through the classroom door. 

Izuku stopped and turned to look at Shōto who shyly met his eyes before staring at their hands. 

Izuku sighed shaking his head exasperated: what was that? Some sort of thank you?

"Sorry about this morning, I was angry..." - he said starting to walk again trying to ignore the way his heart squeezed when Shōto gripped his hand a bit tighter. 

Mom wore a worried expression on her face. 

Again.

At first she fretted over them being a little later than usual, then she seemed to focus on their holding hands. Happiness radiated from her for a brief moment, but it didn't last long, because somehow she could tell that Shōto had been crying, and that's when the questioning had started. She asked Shōto a couple times even though she must have known that he wouldn't answer, then she turned to Izuku. 

He didn't answer either, he didn't give her any explanation, he just shrugged muttering an 'I don't know' because he was tired of not being heard. His mother wasn't pleased with his attitude, but once she had carefully checked that none of them had the smallest of scratches, with a sigh, she walked to the kitchen to make them a snack.

Izuku silently walked to the couch and sat fumbling with the tv remote as usual while he waited for the little snack before he'd have to go through his homework. He wasn't really in the mood for homework, but there wasn't much he could do about it.

He noticed Shōto standing nearby and turned to look at him.

"What is it? Are you going to stick around for the rest of the day?" - Izuku asked with a sigh. Shōto shifted a bit in his spot, eyes suddenly glued to his socks. 

Izuku really didn't understand him. He was so weird, so completely different from any of his old friends. 

"Do you want to watch All Might's adventures new episode with me?" - he asked staring at the other boy. 

Shōto raised his glance just enough to meet Izuku's eyes for a few brief moments before nodding. Izuku scooted over on the couch making more room for Shōto to sit next to him so that there could still be enough space between the two of them. Shōto seemed insicure about it and took a couple minutes to sit next to him before slowly scooting as close as possible to Izuku leaving just a few centimetres between them.

Izuku stared at him with a frown for a while, then he just sighed shaking his head a little.

"I don't understand you." - he sighed watching as Shōto uncomfortably looked around the room. 

He knew no answer would come, so he simply turned back to the tv to find that it was already on the right channel, the show opening already playing. 

That was Izuku's favourite moment of the day and he always payed All Might's episodes complete attention. This time though, his focus was on Shōto's pinky intertwining with his.

Chapter Text

If Izuku expected the next morning to be any different from the previous ones, he was damn wrong. It was a mess: Shōto did not want to go to school once again. 

He had run around the house escaping an exasperated Fuyumi and a tired Inko for at least half an hour. Izuku had seen that scene play so many times that he could only tiredly stare from the genkan the way his mother was trying desperately to talk Shōto into going to school as Fuyumi tried to near him enough to get a hold of him and drag him out of the house as they did the previous day. He could relate to Shōto, dealing with their bullies was the last thing he wanted to do with his time, but somehow Izuku found more exhausting the way Shōto would fight with all his strength to stay home than trying to ignore their words and their shoves.

"Shōto, we need to go now. Please..." - Fuyumi begged outstretching a hand to get a hold of him, only for her little brother to dodge and shake his head into a no.

"Why don't you want to go to school anymore sweetheart? I don't understand..." - Inko asked kneeling in front of him. 

Shōto took a step back and avoided eye contact at all costs as he always did while he fidgeted nervously, eyes locked to his socks. Fuyumi sighed and placed Shōto's backpack on the floor before walking to the genkan and putting on her shoes, having had enough of her brother's tantrum. She mumbled something Izuku didn't bother to listen to, but he could swear that her words seemed to hurt Shōto's feeling by the way he looked at her for a few seconds.

"Is it because you can't take the teddy bear with you anymore?" - Inko asked tentatively recalling his attention.

"Ao and Tsubasa made fun of him..." - Izuku said with a sigh making Inko immediately turn around to stare at him. It was an incomplete truth but it was enough to recall his mother attention and Izuku noticed how Shōto seemed less tense as Inko's attention moved away from him.

"What??" - Inko asked alarmed. Though, to him it seemed like her worry quickly became anger towards him. 

"Why didn't you tell me when I asked you yesterday?!" - she asked when no answer came from her son.

At those word, Izuku started to regret saying anything about what had happened. He just wanted his mother to stop pestering Shōto, if he wanted to stay home, then he should just stay home, he couldn't care less. What he didn't like though, was the way his mother still worried so much more about Shōto than him, she never acted like that when it was him the one being pushed around. 

"Because when I tell you Ao and his friends pick on me you say that they're just playing..." - he said.

"I've never said such thing Izuku. I said that you have to stay out of trouble!"

"I try, but they are trouble..." 

"They have been your friends since kindergarten Izuku..." - she sighed seeming exasperated.

Izuku kept quiet and it seemed to him that for the first time his mother was staring to understand that something was wrong.

"Izuku, they're your friends right?" - she asked frowning.

Izuku's silence made her frown deeper.

"Baby, why didn't you say something before?" 

"I did, but you don't listen! You only care when it's about him..." - Izuku said pointing at Shōto, his voice progressively becoming softer, almost disappearing as he said what had been bothering him for so long. 

Inko gave Shōto a brief glance before nearing her own son and kneeling in front of him to take his hands.

"Izuku, what are you talking about? You're my baby, of course I care about you..."

"You love him more..." - he mumbled shrugging his mother's hands off.

"That's not true honey..." - she said trying to take her son's hands again but failing as Izuku took a step back trying to dry his eyes.

"Izuku, look at me." - she asked resting her hands on her knees as she waited her child to look at her before going on - "you are my baby, and I love you immensely..."

'Liar' - Izuku thought.

"How about we go get ice-cream when you get back from school this afternoon and you tell me everything that happened? Mum will fix everything ok?" - she asked caressing one of his cheeks lovingly. 

Izuku nodded lightly even though he couldn't care less about ice cream. He refrained to say the thoughts that had been running through his head lately and once his tears had been dried, he followed Fuyumi out the door and towards his own school, sparing Shōto one last glance as he once again managed to stay home with his mother. 

After all, even if he was hurt, 'I want them gone' seemed something too mean to say.

They didn't go to get ice cream after school.

Izuku shouldn't have been upset, because deep down he knew they wouldn't go as soon as his mother pronounced those words, still he was. Everyone seemed to be letting him down. Inko had picked an extra shift at work and was already gone by the time  he got home with Fuyumi. Shōto was sitting at the table colouring a book with his teddy bear hugged close under Rin surveillance. 

"Hey kids!" - Rin greeted with a smile. 

Izuku watched as Fuyumi neared her brother and greeted him, only touching him when he looked at her.  Rin asked him something, but Izuku wasn't paying attention, so he just shrugged and turned around to walk to his bedroom in silence. He just wanted to be alone.

He sat on his bed for a while in complete silence before the door opened and an hesitant Shōto walked in holding his teddy bear close to his chest.

"What do you want?" - he asked with a little sigh. 

As expected Shōto didn't answer, he only neared the bed stopping in front of Izuku outstretching a hand towards him. Izuku stared at his hand for a while with a frown before talking again.

"Leave me alone..." - he said ready to watch Shōto run away. 

One of Shōto's hands though grabbed the edge of his shirt and pulled lightly. 

"I told you to leave me alone..." - Izuku said again shrugging the other kid off as gently as he could as to avoid that he'd start crying and screaming as he always did when someone touched him without his consent. 

Shōto stared in silence shuffling on his feet with the teddy bear held close to his chest. He looked back at the door for a moment before getting a hold of Izuku's shirt and try to pull him off the bed. Izuku let him, fighting the instinct to shove him, because he didn't want to get in trouble. He followed the other kid back to the living room where the tv was on and the new episode of All Might 's adventures was playing.

Shōto let go of his shirt and crawled on the sofa before looking back at Izuku for a second and patting the spot next to him on the sofa. Izuku stared for a long while confused before sighing and with a small shake of his head, sat next to the other boy. 

"You are so weird..." - Izuku muttered after a while, earning Shōto's attention which had been on the tv screen for a while.

Shōto tilted his head to the side with what seemed a confused expression to Izuku, he found the action quite funny.

"What is it? Are you trying to be my friend now?" - Izuku asked almost mockingly. 

Shōto didn't seem to pick up on his ironic tone, he simply nodded and scooted closer to him before returning his attention back to the tv hugging his teddy bear. 

Izuku stared for while before shaking his head defeated.

He didn't understand, but he was too tired to fight.   

It was Sunday, the sun was shining and Izuku was glad his mother had wrapped a scarf around his neck as they waited in line to enter the amusement park. He felt weird about it: it was his mother's way of making up for not bringing him to get ice cream, but he could see the way she seemed to be more focused of Shōto's discomfort than anything else. Speaking of Shōto, he was basically hiding behind Fuyumi, the beanie mom had put on his head hid his air completely, and the thick scarf she wrapped around him left his mismatched eyes to be barely seen. They seemed worried, Izuku could tell, he had wore the same expression since he realized they weren't going anywhere he had already been.

It seemed like he didn't like new places, and it looked like he didn't want to come at all, he only seemed willing to follow because Izuku was there. 

It all seemed to go smoothly, but at some point Shōto had cried. Not the usual loud cry, it was silent this time. 

He turned back to see if he and Fuyumy were still following him when he saw tears stream down Shōto's face. His mom hadn't noticed, his sister hadn't either. Not yet, not until Izuku stopped walking and turned around completely letting go of Inko's hand. At that point they all noticed and fretted over him, only seeming to make it worse. Izuku sighed, feeling the happiness of the day slipping away as his mother rushed to kneel in front of Shōto, Fuyumi soon mimicking her. 

"What's wrong?" - She asked not daring to touch him. With time she had learned to wait and not to touch him immediately as she did with Izuku. Physical touch wasn't something Shōto liked, even Izuku knew that. 

Shōto didn't answer, he lowered his head and tried to dry his tears taking a step back.

They were about to go home, Izuku knew.

Shōto was about to start throwing a tantrum and his mom was going to give in and bring him home. 

"Do you want to go home?" - Inko asked worriedly exactly as Izuku expected. Fuyumi spared him a glance and an apologetic smile before focusing on her brother again.

Izuku just watched, waiting for his mother to say the words as he tried with all his strength to be glad he could spend at least half a day having fun, trying hard not to be angry.

Shōto looked up just enough to look at Izuku before shaking his head into a no leaving his mother and Fuyumi more confused than ever.

"It's okay sweetheart, we can go home if you want to..." - Inko reassured, Izuku wish she didn't.

Shōto shook his head into a no again and took a step back.  Izuku clenched and unclenched his hands to calm down before walking past his mother and Fuyumi to stand in front of Shōto. 

"You hate it here. Don't you?" - Izuku's asked sighing defeated.

Izuku could feel his mother and Shōto's sister staring at them as he watched Shōto trying to dry his tears while nodding lightly. 

Izuku took a deep breath, trying to keep calm and took a hold of one of Shōto's hand. 

"Okay, let's go home..." - he said resigned starting to walk towards the exit not bothering to look at his mother nor ask if it was okay. It was obviously okay, his mom would have done anything for Shōto, Izuku hated it. 

Shōto didn't resist and started to walk right away. 

A part of Izuku wished Shōto would have sucked it up for once, but apparently he always had to get what he wanted. Izuku hated it: hated the way he got always what he wanted, hated the way everyone gave him so much attention, hated the way everyone seemed only caring about Shōto's wellbeing and not his. 

He didn't miss the sorry look Fuyumi spared him during the car ride back home, nor did he miss the worried look his mother gave him. He wished they'd do something about Shōto instead of pitying him, but they never did. 

Things had always been weird ever since Shōto and Fuyumi had moved in, but they had reached a new level of weird to Izuku. 

Shōto wouldn't leave him alone. He held his hand walking to school and on the way back home every single day, he was always in his space, most of the time just listening to him rumbling about All Might, almost seeming to like the sound of his voice and his presence more than Izuku had ever noticed before. Izuku let it happen, mostly because silence didn't suit him and having someone who listened to him for once was nice. Sometimes, when they were both tucked in Izuku's bed, Izuku's voice seemed to be the one thing lulling him to sleep; some times his old teddy bear laid somewhere in Shōto's bed momentarily forgotten, some others it stood safely hugged between Shōto's arms while he laid next to him, one hand always holding into the freckled boy's one. 

Somehow Izuku enjoyed that, somehow that seemed to be all Izuku needed to forget everything his 6 years old brain thought Shōto had done him wrong. 

December arrived soon enough and Christmas came and went in the blink of an eye. 

It seemed something new to Shōto, who seemed confused about all the decorations, the Christmas presents and all the commotion that the holiday brought. At first Izuku didn't understand how Shōto could be so unaware, it was Izuku's favourite time of the year after all, but his mother took the time to explain him how Shōto's family didn't celebrate Christmas. He was confused about it, why wouldn't they? It didn't really matter though, he was glad to see Shōto happy as he unwrapped his gifts. He was gifted a new stuffed animal among other useful and pointless stuff, like some new clothes and a colouring book that he willingly shared with Izuku. The plushie though, laid in his bed, not replacing his old teddybear. For once Izuku wasn't jealous, everything Shōto got, he shared with him. 

Playing together had gone from only colouring a book together once in a while to run around the house playing heroes and all types of games: anything that didn't require Shōto to talk was fine. Inko enjoyed watching them run around the house or the park near the apartment complex. She was glad things were finally starting to change for the better; she had never seen Shōto this happy, Fuyumi seemed to think the same thing.  Izuku was happy in his own way, if Shōto was happy, his mother wouldn't focus all her energy on him. 

Finally, it was January and so Shōto's birthday arrived.

This time Inko didn't organise a birthday party, deciding it would be better if it was just the four of them. 

Izuku was thankful that Shōto didn't have to go through the pain and disappointment of no one showing up for his birthday party, even though he was sure Shōto wouldn't care. He didn't seem to care about many things, just Fuyumi, his teddybear and maybe a little bit about Izuku too.

Once again, Izuku realized that celebration weren't in order in Shōto's family: Shōto didn't seem to ever had a birthday party. 

He seemed to enjoy his first one though: his lips had twitched a few times into a small smile while they ate cake and played Jinsei with Fuyumi. 

Izuku was having a blast, at least until the moment he feared the most came. 

It was time for gifts and Izuku was worried that Shōto wouldn't like his drawing. It wasn't the greatest of gifts, it was just a drawing of the two of them together being heroes and it could never compare with his mother's gift or Fuyumi, but Izuku had put all of himself into that drawing. 

Izuku kept quiet as Shōto stared at his drawing long enough, finger tracing the figures' line attentively.

Izuku deflated as he watched Shōto discharge the drawing on the couch to his left before standing up. He lowered his glance: Shōto must have hated it. 

A few moments later Izuku froze: Shōto's arms were around his neck.

Shōto was hugging him for the fist time ever. 

Of all the things Izuku could have done or said in that moment, while he brought his arms around Shōto, Izuku only managed to cry.

Chapter Text

Shōto is officially seven and hasn't said a word since they met.
Sometimes Izuku hates it, most of the times though, he thinks it's a blessing.
Shōto being quiet means that he can talk all he wants and Shōto will listen to every single word with attention, because oddly enough, he does pay attention when Izuku talks, no matter for how long.

He's the only one who seems to pay him attention, to listen to him and Izuku had been starved for it ever since all their classmates had shut him out, only talking to him to make fun of him.
But while Izuku loves Shōto's attention, there's something at the back of his mind making him anxious: Shōto knows a lot about him, he confided him all of his secrets and dreams, and Izuku is scared that one day Shōto will start talking and give away all his secrets.
He tries not to think about it though, because right now Shōto doesn't talk and doesn't seem willing to start anytime soon. Izuku is extremely glad he doesn't.
It's been years, but he can still feel the stab of Kacchan's betrayal: it still hurts, it still hunts Izuku and he's not sure if he'll ever get over it.

And all of it it's sad because even if he's still just a child, Izuku has come to realise how much he relies on Shōto's attention. If his best friend is not there, he's invisible to anyone else.

Their daily routine is simple enough: wake up, breakfast, go to school, come back home and do homework, maybe play a bit together than they eat dinner and get to bed. 
They are in class together, their desk are next to each other and Izuku often glances his way, Shōto's is either very invested in the lesson or completely lost in his own world. He doesn't really pays him much attention during class, but that's fine because once they're home, Shōto's attention is usually on him, they play together and that's so much fun.
Bu to be fair, it's a rare occurrence, most of the time Izuku spends his afternoon doing his homework alone and it gets lonely sometimes.
But Shōto's either busy with some doctor appointment or taking extra classes as per his mother decision, leaving Izuku on his own because he's not allowed to go with him and he's not allowed to compain because all of that is for 'Shōto's good' or at least that's what his mother said.

At the end of the day, when mom brings Shōto home at dusk after his extra classes, Shōto is quick to join him in whatever he's doing at the moment, Soba, Shōto's new cat, is quick to take her place on Shōto's legs.
On the other hand, when he comes home after a doctor appointment, he usually sit by with his cat, not really focusing on Izuku as he wishes.
It's not ideal, but Izuku is so starved for love and friendship that he makes it works.

It's the middle of March when Inko sits Izuku down and tries to explain him how special Shōto is. Izuku doesn't really get all of it, just that he's different and that always seemed quiete obvious to him. The word she uses barely register in his head, it seems irrelevant to him anyway. He just nods and asks if they can still be friends, because that's what really matters to him: having a friend to play with, having Shōto as a friend.
His mother frowns at him for a second but nods anyway with a tight smile. She doesn't try to explain further, she lets it slides and tells him to be a good friend for Shōto and always respect his boundaries before letting him go.
Izuku is trying, he has been trying hard all along and he think it's sad that his mother didn't notice he was already trying so hard.

"Maybe he's still too young..." - Izuku can hear Fuyumi say.

He doesn't catch his mother's response, he's already walking through his bedroom's door to play with his best friend.
After all, who cares if Shōto is different? Maybe that's the reason why he stays with Izuku, and if that's the case, Izuku doesn't want Shōto any other way, he doesn't want Shōto to be normal.

Life is unfair.
The thought has been a recurrent one in Izuku's mind since his quirk didn't show up and dad left but never as in that day it has felt so true.
Shōto is not just special, he's super special: he has not just one but two quirks.
It's not just ice, there's fire within him and no matter how fascinating it all should be, Izuku can only feel anger and jealousy.
Izuku always thought that Shōto's quirk was ice and he liked that.
He liked the way he could numb his aches after a beating, the way he could make the air around them cooler in the hot summer days and the way he could keep their ice creams from melting too quickly. That was really cool.
But Shōto has fire too and it's hard to accept his best and only friend was born with everything while he was born with nothing at all.

It doesn't matter if Shōto used it just once while trying to protect him from Tsubasa, it doesn't matter if it was an accident, if he lost control of it or if he doesn't seem to like his fire, it doesn't matter if he tries to hide it as much as he can, now that he let it out and Izuku knows, nothing will ever be the same.

Izuku cried and screamed, then he just shut down.
He tried all he could to be left alone, unable to look at Shōto the same way, unable to be close to him as he usually would. He wasn't openly rude or physical in any way, but he kept his distance as much as he could. 
It's not Shōto's fault, deep down Izuku knows, as he knows there was probably no ill intention in keeping it hidden from him, but the fact that Shōto never tried to let him know somehow, it still feels like betrayal somehow.

Izuku's not sure if Shōto noticed his change of behaviour or not, but he was nice enough not to force his presence on him after that day. Everyone in the house seemed to notice how weird things were between him and Shōto though: Fuyumi had stuck with her brother more than usual and Inko had tried to smooth things between them only worsening Izuku's jealousy.
Shōto did nothing.
Izuku didn't expect him to do something.
Izuku doesn't blame him.

It's Friday and Izuku is glad classes are over and he'll have two days away from actual hell.
Shōto, a few steps behind, it's not happy about it.
He doesn't like school, he doesn't like having bullies, he doesn't like that Izuku has bullies.
But being home means they will be forced to be together and Fuyumi and Inko will expect them to play together and be happy.
None of that will happen though, because now Izuku hates him.
And with each step they take, Shōto feels his anxiety grow and his guilt eat him from the inside.
Father is not there anymore but it's like he still is because he's somehow still ruining everything for him: first he took his mother away and now, his Izuku hates him because of his father's quirk.
Maybe father is not the problem, maybe he is the problem: father never liked Shōto, he never liked that Shōto was so weird.

The door a few meters ahead makes dread fill the pit of Shōto's stomach.
He hates his father, he hates his fire, he hates being so weird, he hates himself.

"Izuku..."

It's barely a whisper but Izuku stops dead in his tracks and turns around quickly, eyes wide open and lips slightly apart.

"Did you..." - Izuku's question dies in his throat, he's met with silence and he lightly shakes his head starting to turn around: he must have imagined that voice because it's just the two of them and there's no way Shōto would ever talk. Not to him anyway, he's not important, not even for Shōto who was supposed to be his best friend...

"..-zuku..."

Izuku stops and turns around completely to face Shōto who's face covered in tears.

Shōto's hands are shaking, his throat feel like it's on fire and his eyes burns with fresh tears.
His lips moves again but nothing comes out. His throat hurts so much, it has been so long since he had said a word, he can barely remember the last time he whispered to his sister. It's been days, maybe weeks. He has to be quiet, nothing good ever happens when he talks, but he can't help it right then. What's the worst thing that could happen? Izuku already hates him, there's nothing left to loose.

Izuku sighs and briefly glances at the door of their home a few meters away; the shock soon subsides to annoyance as he realises that if his mom comes out the door, she's going to think he did something to make Shōto cry and he'll be in trouble, because even of he did nothing, it's always his fault.

"Why are you crying?" - He asks taking a step towards him.

He can see the way Shōto struggles to find a way to let out whatever's going through his head by the way his shaking hands grip the fabric of his shirt and his lips moves without making a sound as he cries silently.

"I..."- Shōto only manage to force out and Izuku just stand there staring.

Shōto's voice is hoarse and leaves him confused, because at some point he really started to think that Shōto didn't talk at all, even if he had seen him whisper something to his sister from time to time through the past two years. It almost seemed like they were pretending to have small conversation.
Shōto's voice doesn't sounds like Izuku imagined, and most of all, he didn't think the first time he'd hear him talk, he'd say his name.
It's a bittersweet feeling.

"S-sorry..." - Shōto forces out in another whisper.

Izuku frowns and stares at his red shoes for a moment, nothing of that feels right and somehow he finds himself feeling guilty. He sighs and shrugs his backpack off, going through it till he finds a pack of tissues to dry Shōto's eyes. He doesn't have to do that, but it keeps him busy long enough to try to find something to say.

"I don't get what you're sorry about, but stop crying before mom comes out, she'll think I did something to you." - Izuku says selflishy and that's definitely not what he wanted to do. He knows that won't make Shōto stop crying, if anything it will probably make him cry more.

Shōto's mouth moves again, but this time no sounds come out and Izuku watches as he lowers his head and stares at his hands as the right one grips tightly his left forearm while tears keep running down his face. The knuckles of his right hand turn white and Izuku thinks his left arm must hurt from the way he's gripping it so tightly.

"Is this about your fire?" - Izuku asks not really expecting a verbal answer at this point, but still hoping for one, still hoping to fully understand Shōto for once.

The sob shaking Shōto's body might not be a verbal answer but it is a good enough one.
Izuku sighs reaching out to dry Shōto's tears again, almost struggling to believe that Shōto's letting him do that when every physical contact they've ever had has always been initiated by Shōto.

"Don't hate me..." - Shōto begs in a strangled whisper and Izuku stares puzzled for a few seconds.

"I don't..." - he whispers though utterly confused.
"I don't hate you, nor your quirks..." - he elaborates a bit better.

Maybe he was angry and disappointment at first, but that doesn't mean Izuku ever hated Shōto. Maybe he did resent him a little, because he took a lot of his mother attention away, but he still didn't hate him. He thought Shōto knew, but to be honest Shōto never seemed to get how people felt most of the time, so he should have expected him not to understand how Izuku felt too.
He gave it for granted that Shōto knew he wasn't mad at him, but maybe he was too blinded by jealousy to see that Shōto had misunderstood.

The door opens and Izuku braces himself for his mother's scolding, but when he turns around it's not her the one standing by the door, it's Fuyumi and Izuku is relieved because no matter how mad she could be or what she could think Izuku had done to her brother, she won't yell at him. Fuyumi never yells.

She's kneeled by her brother in a second and her hands are on his arms.

"What's wrong?" - she asks moving a hand to brush Shōto's hair out of his left eye. Izuku stares the way Shōto doesn't even flinch at her touch and prepare to say something to explain the situation, but Shōto mumbles another 'sorry' and Fuyumi turns to look at him with a weird expression.
Her lips part but she says nothing as her eyes keep moving between him and her brother.

"He keeps saying he's sorry, I'm not sure what he's sorry about..." - Izuku says.
"But I did nothing to him, I swear!" - he rushes out clutching the tissue in his hand a bit tighter.

"Did he talk to you?" - she asks focusing more on the fact that he said Shōto spoke, than everything else.

Izuku looks around them before meeting her eyes again.

"It was just us." - he says sounding quite confused by the question: who else was he supposed to talk to? Himself?

Fuyumi's anxiety seems to disappear as a wide smile makes its way on her face, a giggle escapes her lips soon after as she turns back towards her brother engulfing him in a tight hug.

"That was really brave, you did great Sho. I am so proud of you. The doctor will be so happy you finally talked to Izuku..." - she reassures as she lets go of his brother brushing his hair out of his face, caressing his cheeks with so much tenderness.

Izuku stares: Shōto doesn't look at her, his eyes are glued to the floor and his hands keep clenching at his side like when he's uncomfortable and wants to step back, but he lets his sister do as she pleases. It's a special treatment only reserved to her, Izuku realised some times ago: Inko can't get away with that, nor can Izuku. They share something special, sometimes Izuku wishes they did too. But they don't, they never will. 

It's late, Izuku's not sure what time is it, but he should be sleeping by now. He can't though. Fuyumi told his mom what happened and they spent the evening prizing Shōto. He didn't seem to like it, and no matter how hard they tried to make him talk again, not a single word left his mouth.
Izuku sighs turning on his left side and looks at Shōto who seems to be sleeping in his bed completely hidden under the duvet, Soba is curled at his feet as every night.

"Shōto?" - Izuku calls out, not really expecting Shōto to be awake but still hoping he is.

Shōto's head emerges from under the duvet and his eyes stare at him.

"Come..." - Izuku says moving the duvet away to invite his friend over.

They haven't slept in his bed for a while now, Izuku was too pissed to let Shōto close. He was being stupid.
Shōto moves quickly, he gets out of bed in a couple of seconds, tripping in the process but immediately standing up and soon snuggling under Izuku's duvet clutching his teddy bear. Shōto stares at him, going as far as holding his glance. It's weird, Izuku thinks, because Shōto always avoid eye contact, he only does that with him and he's not sure why. He wants to believe that it's a special treatment reserved to him as physical contact is reserved to Fuyumi, but he can't, because it doesn't really make sense to him.
But again, nothing about Shōto has ever made much sense to him.

"I'm sorry..." - Izuku mumbles adjusting the duvet over Shōto's shoulders so he can be warm ans cozy as much as him.

"I wasn't mad at you...it's just that you have two quirks and I have none. It's..." - Izuku stops to think about the right word to say.

'Unfair' is the first word coming to his mind, but he doesn't seem able to let it out of his mouth. It's hard to say it because somehow, somewhere deep down, Izuku knows that life is unfair for Shōto as well.
It's not about Shōto not liking his quirk or Shōto being weird.
It's about Shōto not having a mom or a dad, Izuku does and just thinking about not having his mom anymore makes him realize how that's much worse than being quirkless. Maybe sometimes his mom is focusing too much on Shōto, but she's still his mom, she still loves him, she's still there and she'll always be there. But Shōto's mom and dad are not in the picture, maybe they're dead, or maybe they weren't good parents, but either way it's horrible.

Izuku shrugs the thought away and meets Shōto's eyes that are surprisingly still looking at him.

"I just wish I had one too..." - he decides to say.

"Will you talk again?" - Izuku asks adverting his glance to Shōto's teddy bear for a second, before bringing it back to his friend's face.

Shōto's quiet for a while, his lips part but nothing ever comes out. Izuku should have known better, but it somehow saddens him that the only one time he heard Shōto's voice was to hear him apologise crying.

"Why not?" - Izuku asks even if he knows Shōto won't answer. He waits patiently for a while but when nothing comes out of Shōto's lips, he just sighs and tries to move on. He doesn't have much of a choice.

"It's okay, we'll still be friends..." - Izuku reassures with another little sigh as he gets more comfortable to sleep.

He closes his eyes, ignoring that Shōto's still staring and tries to fall asleep because it's late and mom will still wake them up early even if they don't have to go to school.
The silence doesn't feel awkward, but it doesn't feel nice either, Izuku just tries to ignore it.

"Friends..." - Shōto's voice echoes in the room even if it's just a whisper.

Izuku open his eyes and give Shōto a look.
He's still staring with no expression, his left arm hugging his teddy bear close, his right hand resting on the mattress between them.
Izuku scoffs lightly but smiles softly. He can work with that.

"Yeah..." - he says placing his right hand on Shōto's.

Shōto's hand squeezes lightly his own and Izuku feels a bit reassured and hopes that from that moment things will work out just fine. He closes his eyes with a sigh.

"Okay..." - Shōto's voice breaks the silence again.

Izuku's eyes are still closed but he smiles and squeezes Shōto's hand a bit more as he feels Soba curling in a ball by their feet: they will be fine.

Chapter Text

Izuku has never understood why Shōto struggles to talk so much. It comes so natural to him that he can't imagine not talking at least a thousand words a day. 

But Shōto...Shōto barely says a couple when it's a lucky day, and it's always when it's time to sleep and they're already tucked into Izuku's bed. And usually, it's just a quiet 'good night'. 

Izuku wanted it to be enough, he tried to convince himself that it is enough, but he can't and as selfish as it might be, he wants Shōto to talk more. 

They're sitting on Izuku's bed, he has his back against the wall and he is staring at the ceiling while Shōto's reading a book about something Izuku didn't bother to check, Soba curled against Shōto's left leg.

Izuku is bored. It's one of Shōto low energy days, one of those when they're not going to run around the house playing heroes, one of those when Shōto busies himself reading or drawing, wasting most of his time lost in his own head. But it's a lucky day nonetheless, Shōto's allowing him to stay around at least, he doesn't seem to be bothered by how close Izuku's sitting next to him.

"Why don't you talk?" - he asks.

Shōto's attention takes a while to move from his book to him, he probably finished the paragraph before looking up at him because sadly enough, even his book is probably more important than Izuku. His expression doesn't change a bit as he stares at Izuku and, after a minute or two, Izuku just sighs and moves his glance back to the ceiling muttering a little 'fine'.  

After all, it's not a huge problem if Shōto doesn't talk, they managed just fine for the past two years. Having Shōto listen to him has been enough for a long while, and Izuku can work with that. He'll find a way.  They can write down on papers, they already did a few times, Shōto didn't seem willing to do that either, but at least he seemed to force himself to do it.

It's no big deal, Izuku keeps telling himself. 

It's just that, now that he knows that Shōto can talk if he wants to, he can't help but wish Shōto would just talk to him. What's so hard in talking to your friend?

Besides, being heard is nice, but Izuku miss having someone to actually have a conversation with, someone his age, someone who can understand.

"Father hates it..." - Shōto's voice comes in a whisper. 

Izuku turns immediately. Shōto's staring at him as he was a couple minutes before, his point finger is still keeping the sign of where he stopped reading and his expression hasn't changed a bit. But Izuku can see the tension in his posture, the way he sit with his back super straight, the way his left hand is gripping his book a bit too tightly. 

"Your dad hates when you talk?" - Izuku asks frowning as he shifts on the bed to completely face his friend. 

Shōto nods but doesn't offer any further explanation. 

"Why?" - is all Izuku can come up with. 

Shōto's mouth opens a few times but nothing comes out as he lower his glance to the book. 

He's not sure why, he just knows that his father always screamed when he spoke or even just dared to make a sound, sometimes he hit him too. He got angry when Shōto cried and always dragged him away from his mother when he did.

He hated people touching him, all people but his mother and Fuyumi, and that made his father angrier and more violent. He hated it, he hated that his father touched him.

He doesn't understand completely why he was always so mad but Shōto didn't care, he hated when his father screamed and his hits hurt and left bruises that his mother cried about, so he tried to be good even if it was no use, even if he was always meaner and harsher. 

To be fair, father screamed and hit even when he was quiet, so he's not completely sure what the real problem was, but Toya always said to be quiet when father was around, so Shōto did keep quiet and tried not to cry and scream when father touched him. He couldn't help it though, it was always too much, his grip was like a snake constricting its pray.

Either way, Shōto doesn't know what to answer to Izuku's question, it would take too many words to explain, he's not even sure he knows that many words  and even if he did, he can't talk that long. He'll get in trouble if he does, so he just shakes his head into a no meaning that he doesn't know why. It's not a lie after all.

"But your dad is gone..." - Izuku points out. Maybe Shōto's dad didn't like it, but he's probably dead as far as Izuku knows or he would have come to take his kids back by now, so there's no need for Shōto to keep quiet anymore.

Shōto stares in silence for a while seeming confused. 

Shōto's not sure where father is, but last time he saw him, he was very much alive and very very angry, so angry that some police officers had to restrain him so he couldn't hurt Shōto and Fuyumi. 

"It's okay if you don't talk. I talk enough for the both of  us but I'm your friend and I'd really really like if you talked to me because that's what friends do..." - Izuku says, big pleading doe eyes staring at Shōto. 

Shōto's hold on his book loosen, his finger moves from the point he was keeping track of and he lowers the book on the bed before moving off the bed and going for the door. 

Izuku stares confused after him for a moment and once Shōto walks out the door, he follows him into the living room where Fuyumi's finishing her homework.

Shōto stops next to his sister and pulls at the sleeve of her white shirt lightly making her turn to him immediately. 

Izuku can hear his mom moving around the kitchen humming a song he's never heard her sing before and hopes that she won't walk in the living room when Shōto will do something that will get him in trouble, because Izuku knows he will, he always does.

"What's wrong Sho?" - Fuyumi asks as her glance bounces between her brother and Izuku, it lingers on him a little longer, as if she noticed that Izuku's worried about whatever Shōto's about to do.

Izuku can only imagine what Shōto's whispering to his sister's ear as his mother walks into the living room with a glass of orange juice for Fuyumi and a cup of tea for herself. 

Fuyumi pales, Izuku can tell even if to anyone else is hard to tell since she's already pale by nature. Izuku's mum immediately turns to look at him and Izuku knows he's in trouble again because somehow he made them uncomfortable.

Fuyumi gives Inko a glance before placing her pencil on the table sighing as she turns to completely face her brother. Her hands rests on her knees instead of reaching out for Shōto's, because she always knows when it's the right time to touch her brother and right then it's probably not the right moment. 

"No Sho, dad is not dead. He's..."- Fuyumi hesitates for a moment before going on - "he's somewhere far enough so that he can't hurt us..."

Shōto barely frowns, it's almost imperceptible, but Izuku has spent enough time to analyse Shōto's behaviour that by now he can recognise every micro-expression on his friend's face and Shōto seems disappointed. Izuku thinks it's a weird reaction, but if their father used tu hurt them, maybe it's not so strange To want his father gone. 

Izuku wishes he knew where his father is, if he'll ever forgive him for being quirkless and come back home.

"Mama too?" - Shōto mutters just above a whisper. Izuku can barely hear him, but he's sure his mother did hear him too by the perplexed expression on her face.

"No, mom is... She didn't die, she's just somewhere she can get better after what happened..." - Fuyumi says frowning deeper.

There's silence for a while and Izuku is surprised his mother hasn't said a word yet, she barely seems to be breathing. 

And then it happens, Shōto clearly spaces out.

Fuyumi sighs and tries to get a hold of Shōto's hands, he lets her, he doesn't even flinch or get that focused expression he always gets when his sister's touching him, and Izuku thinks it's because he's too deep in his own head to notice her touch in that moment. She waits patiently rubbing her thumbs on the back of Shōto's hands for a while until he finally comes back to Hearth a few long minutes, only when Fuyumi squeezes his hands a bit more, as if the pressure is grounding him. 

"Why are you asking?" - Fuyumi asks pulling Shōto to sit on her lap. Shōto complies but as his mouth opens to speak he stops and turns to look around only then seeming to realise that Izuku has followed him and Inko is there too. 

Whatever he whispers into his sister's ear next, Izuku doesn't catch it, but it makes Fuyumi only stare at him perplexed. Maybe it's not perplexity though, whatever Shōto said, it almost seems like it hurt Fuyumi.  

"Sho..." - she says hesitating to go on for a second, taking her time to look at Izuku and then his mother and the cat that had walked and sat in front of them meowing.

"Dad is not coming back anytime soon. He won't...that won't happen again..." - she ends up saying just above a whisper - "It's safe here..."

Izuku has no idea what she's talking about. 

Shōto stares at his sister in silence for a while before he crawls off her lap and kneels to the floor to pull up Soba. He walks past him towards their bedroom hugging his cat to his chest without a glance or a word and Izuku has a gut feeling that he did something wrong. 

Izuku's about to follow him back to the room and try his best to make things right but his mother stops him by calling his name. He turns around and sighs resigned to be scolded again.

"What did you tell Shōto?" - she asks frowning.

"That I want him to talk to me..." - Izuku says meeting his mother's glance for barely a second before he focuses on his All Might themed socks. 

"Alright, so what was all these questions about?" - Inko asks frowning deeper. She's not buying it, Izuku knows. 

Izuku thinks of repeating exactly what Shōto has told him, but he doesn't: it would be like betraying Shōto's trust and Izuku just barely managed to gain it in over two years of them staying over. He's scared that if he spills Shōto's secrets then he'll lose his best friend. His only friend

She waits patiently but when, after a few minutes, when he keeps silent, she gives up sighing heavily.

"Alright then..." - she says and Izuku is just about to turn around and flee when she stops him again.

"If Shōto tells you anything that could help with his talking, you have to tell me. Got it?" - she demands.

Izuku nods lightly and takes another step back towards the hallway waiting for his mother to say he can finally go.

"Do you understand Izuku? It is really important..." - she adds.

"I understand..." - he says and Inko lets him go. Izuku tries to ignore the way Fuyumi looks at him, she looks a bit guilty but at the same time she seems to look at him like she knows Izuku knows something, something he doesn't even know himself. 

When he reaches their bedroom, on his bed there's only Shōto's book, Shōto is on his own bed staring at nothing with Soba in his arms. Soba is rubbing her head against Shōto's chest, if in an attempt to cheer him up or getting his attention, Izuku can't tell. 

"Shōto?" - Izuku tries to get his attention while entering his field of vision. 

Shōto's eyes focus on him but he doesn't say anything, he just shake his head lightly into a no before bringing his knees to his chest while readjusting his cat in his arms caressing her fur.

Shōto hasn't talked in two weeks, not a single word, not even his quiet goodnights.

Izuku is sad, he's pretty sure he has made things worse asking Shōto to talk. He can't do much about it, it's not like he can rewind time.

Oddly enough, school is less horrible, still the same ugly place but bearable.

Their bullies are still there, still very interested into making their lives miserable but lately they seemed to be more interested in Shōto than anything else, they don't even seem to see Izuku at all. Maybe it's because Shōto started wearing glasses for his poor eyesight, or maybe it's just a coincidence. Apparently Shōto sees really little from his left eye and it makes sense that his hurt eye wouldn't work right with that big scar. 

Izuku noticed how ever since Shōto started wearing glasses, he seemed to be stumbling a little less too and Izuku's starting to think that maybe Shōto clumsiness was all due to his poor eyesight.

They're cornered again but Izuku's not really paying attention to what they are saying, their words doesn't really matter anymore. He heard them so many times that it's almost boring. After all, it doesn't matter what they say because even if they emarginate them, Izuku has Shōto and Shōto will always have Izuku. 

Doesn't matter if Shōto doesn't talk or how weird he is, doesn't matter if he takes most of his mother attention away; Izuku cares about him anyway. After all, Shōto's the first person to make him feel like he exists, it's his duty to be his friend regardless of Shōto poor friendship skills.

"What's wrong with you?! Are you autistic?" - Tsubasa laughs but he doesn't seem that amused, he looks mostly angry. 

That word struck and gains his attention because he'a heard it before. His mom used it once, then replaced it with special and never used it again, almost if it was a word that was not supposed to be used ever again. 

But he remembers clearly that she was talking about Shōto. He never cared to look into that word not ask, he didn't wonder what it meant or what it made of Shōto. He never really cared, they grew up together for the past two years and Izuku simply molded himself to fit to Shōto's being and his weirdness. Shōto hated loud noises so Izuku never yelled and always kept loud noises to a minimum, Shōto was a picky eater so Izuku would give his share of what Shōto liked to him and eat what Shōto didn't like and his mother, probably not realizing what was happening, would be delighted that they both enjoined her food so much. Shōto usually didn't like physical touch, so Izuku was never the one to touch him first, he always waited for Shōto to touch him so he was sure he'd be comfortable with it. Whatever Shōto needed, Izuku tried to give. That way, Shōto would be his friend. 

He gives Shōto a glance, but Shōto's staring at Tsubasa blankly. When his glance shifts, he realise that Tsubasa's not looking at Shōto anymore, he's looking at Izuku. He's quite sure that his face let transpire more than it should have. 

"Oooh, so that's what's going on here!" - Tsubasa says smirking at Izuku. 

Tsubasa looks back at Shōto and takes a step closer.

"No wonder useless Deku is your friend. Who'd want a freak like you as a friend?" 

An evil grin makes its way on Tsubasa's face and Izuku instinctively steps in front of Shōto to protect him even if his friend is a bit taller than him and has two quirks to protect himself if he needs to.

"Leave him alone..." - Izuku stammers out.

"Get out of the way useless Deku!" - Tsubasa says shoving him to the side hard enough to make him loose his balance and fall to the ground.

"Let the autistic idiot fend for himself..." - he laughs reaching out to grab Shōto's shirt. 

Izuku's readies himself for the scream or cry that might comes, not sure if he expects Shōto to cry at the unwanted touch or Tsubasa to scream because Shōto burnt him again.  Tsubasa's hand stops mid hair though. 

"Let's go home." - Kacchan says grabbing Tsubasa's forearm just in time. 

"Why?" - he asks staring confused at Kacchan - "Things are finally starting to get interesting..."

"They're not, they're getting boring..." - he simply says and starts to walk away, stopping by the door waiting for his friends to follow. 

He gives them a glance when his friends finally walk past him, his glance lingers on Shōto a bit longer before he turns around and leaves them alone. 

Kacchan knows, Izuku realises, and he struggles to process what happened, because it almost seemed that   Kacchan was trying to help them, but that makes no sense to him. 

Izuku stands up and fixes his school uniform before grabbing his backpack from the floor. Shōto's still in the same spot, if Izuku hadn't spent the last two years to analize his features, he wouldn't be able to notice the confusion in Shōto's eyes. 

"Let's go home..." - he says offering Shōto a hand, Shōto looks at his hand for a second and frowns just a little bit, but after a minute he takes it and lets Izuku lead the way.

Shōto doesn't go to his afternoon extra tutoring classes that day. Izuku's not sure if it's because his teacher can't tutor him or if Shōto refused to go, but he can sees the way he seems to struggle more than usual with his homework, the way Soba keeps rubbing her head against Shōto's chest and meowing softly at him without gaining Shōto's attention at all. 

By dinner time they sit at the table and eat, Shōto eats less than usual but no one seems to notice as Fuyumi talks excitedly about the school recital she's been asked to partecipate in. Inko asks them how school went and after a brief glance to Shōto he lies about it before adverting the attention to the new All Might movie he saw announced on a poster on their way back home from school.  His mother sighs defeated but smiles lightly as he talks about it. Izuku pretends not to see the way Fuyumi looks at him or at her brother worried. 

Shōto's crawling out of his bed with his eyes squeezed lightly to see his way to Izuku's bed because now that he's used to wearing glasses, it must be harder to move around without them. Izuku moves the blanket off and  makes room for Shōto when the bedroom door cracks open and Fuyumi shuffles in quietly apologising for the intrusion. 

Izuku just stares, it's not like he was about to tell her to leave, she's older and Izuku has no right to order her around.

"What are you doing?" - Fuyumi asks nearing her brother. Shōto doesn't answer nor move, almost like a deer caught in the headlight. Fuyumi chuckles lightly reaching for her brother's glasses before placing them on his face and smiling softly.

"Still not sleeping in your bed?" - she asks still smiling. Maybe she finds it funny that they still sleep in the same bed at their age, his mother starting to try to make them stop. She keeps saying they're getting to old for that. Izuku doesn't think they're getting to old for it and he doesn't really care anyways he only knows that Shōto seems to sleep better when he's spend the night close to him. 

"What appended to school Sho?" - Fuyumi asks getting a hold of her brother's hands.

Shōto's doesn't answer, he stares at his feet in silence and Izuku is sure he's not going to say a word. He only hopes he's not going to be dragged into the conversation. She waits patiently, her thumbs rubbing gently at the back of Shōto's hand and Izuku can tell she's trying her best to make her brother comfortable and make him talk, but he's pretty sure it won't work: if Shōto doesn't want to talk, no one can change his mind.  

"Alright, what happened to school Izuku?" - Fuyumi asks turning to face him. 

Izuku stares at her for a few seconds, glance shifting briefly to Shōto before meeting Fuyumi's pleading eyes.

"They said I'm his friend just because he's..." - he hesitates, he's not sure he's allowed to use that word and he doesn't know if Shōto's supposed to know or not. 

"Special...because he's special..." - Izuku mumble lightly bringing himself into a sitting position. 

She seems to flinch, but the frown appearing on her face hides it quickly.  She looks at her brother for a minute before looking back at Izuku with what he'd say it's worry. 

"But it's not like that right?" - she asks hopefully as her hands squeez her brother's. 

"No..." - Izuku says sitting more comfortably with his legs crossed. 

"See? Izuku is your friend..." - Fuyumi smiles awkwardly and Izuku can hear a 'regardless' hanging in the air between them. 

"Am I sick?" - Shōto's quiet voice echoes through the room in the silence of the night. 

It almost seems like time stops for a few seconds. No one expected him to talk and Fuyumi surely doesn't seem like she expected such a question. 

"No Sho..." - she rushes out before pausing as if searching for the right words to say, Izuku suspects there's none. After all, something's wrong with Shōto, if everything was okay why would people make fun of him? If that word didn't mean anything bad, why was everyone not using it? Why everyone seemed to be bothered by it. 

"You're just a bit special..." - she says trying to smile but it seems a bit fake to Izuku and by the way Shōto is looking at her, he suspect Shōto thinks that too.

"You..."- she adds lightly tapping Shōto's forehead - "You work a bit different but that's okay..."

Shōto looks at her in silence.

"It's not a bad thing. We're both a little different after all, aren't we?" - she adds smiling a bit more genuinely and Shōto extends one of his hands to touch Fuyumi's hair making her giggle. 

"Yeah, hair and everything..." - she says and Shōto nods. 

Fuyumi sighs, she seems relieved but Izuku has a feeling her words didn't convince Shōto.

She hugs him and wishes them a good night before leaving the room. Shōto looks at the door for a few seconds before taking off his glasses and placing them on his nightstand before crawling into Izuku's bed, Soba soon snuggling by their feet. 

"I like that you're weird. I'm weird too because I don't have a quirk, but you like me anyway. You're the only person who likes me..." - Izuku smiles lightly offering Shōto his hand to hold. 

Shōto looks at his hand briefly before meeting his eyes. He makes a sound, it almost seems like a little scoff, then he holds Izuku's hand, his lips twitching upwards almost imperceptibly. 

"I'll always be your friend, you know? No matter what." - Izuku adds smiling and he firmly believes it while the words leave his mouth. He cares about Shōto, he cares so deeply about him.

Shōto doesn't say a word as usual, but he lets go of his hand and shuffles closer till he's hugging Izuku close and Izuku thinks that hug, even if stiff and awkward as it always happens to be when Shōto is concerned, is a promise and there's nothing better than that.

Chapter Text

It's odd how time flies.

When Izuku was four and his parents said two kids were going to stay with them for a while, he thought they would have stayed for a few weeks at most before leaving the three of them to be the family they used to be. Well, it didn't work out that way. 

It's been four years now, Izuku's dad is gone and it seems like Shōto and Fuyumi won't go away anytime soon. Izuku doesn't mind anymore. Not as much as he used to anyway. Jealousy still gets the best of him from time to time, but he learned to live with the lack of attention from his mother. 

He keeps telling himself that she still care about him, that she still love him, but he knows that she will always focus on Shōto a lot more than she focuses on him because Shōto is the way he is. Izuku keeps reminding himself about it everyday, but at the same time he tries not to think about it too much. It's not easy, especially in his bad days, the days when he just wants to crawl into his mother's arms and be held tight. She will hug him of course, but somehow Shōto will catch her attention and he'll be put aside.

Speaking of Shōto, he improved a lot through time. He's still very quiet and doesn't talk much around people, but he talks with Izuku, like a lot, especially about things he likes. Izuku didn't think he was able to talk that much, but he's glad he can and whenever Shōto's in the mood for sharing, Izuku lets him talk and listen carefully for as long as his friend is willing to talk. It's nice!

These days Shōto confides to him about everything: hopes, dreams. Anything but his past. That's fine though, Izuku doesn't really care to know why Shōto ended up being his special adopted brother, it's probably an ugly story by the look of it and Izuku hates those kind of stories. 

At some point they've come up with a plan for the future: they're going to be heros when they're grown ups, they will have their own agency and its name will be a tribute to All Might, their favourite hero. 

Inko's not fond of the idea, she doesn't seem opposed to the idea of Shōto becoming a hero, but when it comes to Izuku...well, let's say she's not as happy. She clearly doesn't like the idea and she has tried multiple times to make him reconsider the idea. She's been considerate about it, al least at the beginning, mostly telling him to think about other things he might like doing for a living, but Izuku won't budge and she's starting to be less kind about it. Izuku doesn't care, he has Shōto on his side, and he always says that Izuku will be the greatest hero in the whole world. Izuku tries hard not to believe him so it won't hurt too much if he fails, but it's hard not to be hopeful when Shōto looks at him with so much faith. He just can't help but think that with Shōto by his side he'll be at least a decent hero, he just has to try hard enough.

Their daily routine hasn't changed much, if not for Shōto's crawling into Izuku's bed a bit earlier to mumble about something he likes or, some times, just to cuddle a little longer. Yeah, cuddle. It's sounds so weird but through time Shōto's grown so comfortable with Izuku, that he's hugging him a lot more. He's always a bit awkward and stiff at the beginning but he eventually relaxes and sometimes squeezes Izuku a bit too hard. Izuku enjoys the affection regardless, it makes him feel wanted, loved, trusted. No one else makes him feel like that. 

It's just an afternoon as many others, but Izuku can feels it in his bones that's something's going to happen: 

Fuyumi opens the door for them and let them in first and she always does when they get back from school. 

There are three pairs of unfamiliar shoes in the genkan that Izuku has never seen before. That's odd, but he doesn't think about it too much, they must be having guests over. They rarely do, Kacchan's mom stopped coming a long time ago. For all Izuku knows, Mitsuki and his mom are still friends, he heard them talk on the phone a few times, but she doesn't come here anymore. Maybe it's a good thing that they have guest over, maybe his mom has finally some friends to hang out with. 

"You had him diagnosed?" - a foreign voice says from the living room and Izuku realise they might not have his mom's friends over. The voice is quiet and soft, but still holds some kind of...Izuku's not sure what. 

"Please, don't take it the wrong way Rei-San. There was no ill intent and I didn't mean to overstep, but I had to know what I was working with in order to give him a suitable environment to grow up..." - his mom says calmly. 

The talking stops the moment the door clicks close behind Izuku's back. He lets go of Shōto's hand and takes off his shoes turning to wait for the other boy to do the same while Fuyumi takes a couple steps past them seeming anxious to reach the living room. 

Shōto takes a minute to take off his shoes and place them neatly in their designed spot but he's quick to hurry to get a hold of Izuku's hand again and follow him eagerly. He's in a good mood today, he even went as far as to mutter a few words on their way back, when there were people around, and that's something rare, so rare that Izuku couldn't help but treasure every second of it. 

He watches as Fuyumi freezes by the living room door and steps curiously by her side to check the situation. 

There are two women sitting on the couch, Izuku's mother is sitting in the armchair on their right and a man is sitting in the armchair on their left. 

One of the women has black short hair and wears an elegant deep blue tailleur, she's holding a cup of tea in her hands and her gaze shifts from them and the woman next to her. Izuku has seen her before, she's come by to check on Shōto and Fuyumi from time to time, Izuku is pretty sure his mother said she's the social worker in charge of them but he can't recall her name at the moment. To be honest, he never liked her. 

The other woman looks tense, her hair is white as snow, it barely reaches past her shoulders and she's wearing a light blue cardigan over a white dress adorned with a blue flower pattern; her hands are resting elegantly on her knees and she's sitting with her back so straight that it probably hurts. Her eyes, focused on Fuyumi, are the same gray shade of Fuyumi's eyes and Shōto's right eye and Izuku realize right then who's the woman sitting in their living room. He doesn't need someone to point it out, it's quite clear. He doesn't know what to think about it. Why is she here? Are Shōto and Fuyumi really going to leave? Did she come to take them back? Izuku is not sure he wants them to leave anymore and his hand tightens around Shōto's instinctively. He doesn't want to loose Shōto.

"Mom?" - Fuyumi asks in a shaky whisper before letting go of her backpack and cross the room to fall into her mother's arms. 

The man in the armchair looks at them with attention, Izuku can't tell why.

They seem to hug so tight it must hurt. Fuyumi's crying and that's a first because ever since they've moved in, she had never cried once. It seems an happy cry though, her mom is smiling while running a hand through her hair and Izuku's mom is smiling too. 

Izuku is terrified. If Fuyumi and Shōto are going to leave, he won't have a friend anymore. He won't have anything anymore.

It seems to be a lifetime before they let go of each other and they finally turn to look at Shōto. Fuyumi's beaming while the woman makes an attempt to stand up, probably to near them. The woman next to her places a hand on her shoulder as if to keep her in place, as if she's not supposed to move or to be near her son. It takes a brief look at her and Fuyumi's mother just sits there smiling towards Shōto. She doesn't say anything, doesn't try to move again. 

"Mama?" - Shōto mumbles so softly only Izuku must have been able to hear him. 

Except his mother seemed to have noticed his lips move and made out that one single word in a second. Izuku supposes it's something his mother would be able to do, she should know her child better than anyone else, right? 

"Hi baby..." - she says softly and her smile is so soft and warm that it warms something in Izuku as well. 

Izuku feels Shōto's hand slips from his, he lets him go even if he doesn't want to, and he feels the cold engulfing his body. He watches as he runs to his mother and lunches himself in her arms. 

Koharu, Izuku finally recalls her name, seems about to say something but the man stops her telling her to let it go. Izuku wonders if Shōto's mom is really not supposed to touch her children. 

Shōto's mom pulls him in her lap and hugs him tightly laying kisses on his head and telling him how much she had missed him while caressing his hair. 

Shōto looks completely at ease in her arms, there's no sight of the usual stiffness that linger in his body when he ends up hugging people, and a little selfish part of Izuku screams in envy. 

She loosens the hug eventually, drying her tears while keeping an arm around her son. 

Shōto doesn't seem to be willing to let go, so she stays there, barely readjusting her son and to Izuku it seems like she's waiting for Shōto to be ready to let go. Izuku doubts Shōto will ever be ready to let her go, after all if after all this time he's still attached to his teddy bear just because it smells like her, how can he let go of his mother when she's in his arms?

"Izuku what are you doing there?" - Inko says recalling his attention - "Come here sweetie..." 

Izuku obeys, shuffling his feet a bit while nearing his mother. He's not sure he wants to meet the person who will take his only friend away. 

"This is Rei, Fuyumi and Shōto's mom..." - she says once he's next to her, a hand brushing out his curls from his forehead. That's probably the most affection he's got this week.

"Hi, it's nice to meet you." - Rei says softly smiling at him as her right hand keeps playing with Shōto's hair. 

"Hi..." - Izuku mutters, his eyes falling on Shōto before moving back to his mother. 

"Are they leaving?" - Izuku asks not as softly as he planned to. The man and Koharu, look at him. He can feel their glances and his mother gives him a weird glance, Izuku has a feeling he shouldn't have asked that, that his fear hasn't shown, that they might think Izuku just wants them gone.

"No sweetie, not yet..." - she says with a smile Izuku can clearly see it's forced. Izuku relaxes just a tiny bit, he's not going to be alone for now. He has time to figure out how to keep Shōto in his life.

"Not yet?" - Fuyumi asks looking up at her mother, the smile on her mother's face falters. 

She shakes her head lightly into a no and Koharu proceeds to tell her how it's not the time yet. 

"You'll be able to meet twice a month and I'm going to be there too." - she says as if stating the most natural thing, but Izuku notices the way Rei flinches at her words, the way a guilty expression crosses her face. 

"Why do you have to be there?" - Fuyumi asks frowning deeper.

By the way Koharu and the man look at each other, they didn't expect Fuyumi to ask that question and didn't plan an answer. 

"It's for your safety..." - the man says and Izuku notices with the corner of his eyes the way Rei lowers her head in shame.

"Our safety? Mom is safe..." - Fuyumi says tilting her head to the side a little. She seems confused. 

"You've all been through a lot, it takes time to heal. It's our job to make sure that everything works out smoothly, that everyone stay safe..." 

Koharu's words doesn't seem to cheer Fuyumi up, she almost seems angry. Izuku doesn't understand why but it's not his business, so he doesn't say anything, especially when this is going to buy him more time with his friend. 

"It's just a matter of time darling..." - Rei speaks after a while, probably in an attempt to smooth the frown on her daughter's face. She doesn't seem to believe in her own words though. 

"Well, how about something to eat kids?" - Inko says clearly trying to make the situation less tense. Fuyumi looks at her for a moment before nodding as if getting the hint.

Inko spurs him to sit on the sofa and stands up, Izuku watches as she walks to the kitchen saying she's going to grab an afternoon snack for them. He's not really interested into their usual snack right now though. 

"So, how do you like it here?" - Rei asks after a long silence, just about when Inko enters the room again and places a tray with orange juice and a few small sandwiches that Izuku's sure Shōto won't even touch on the low table.

"It's okay.." - Fuyumi says as she forces a smile that quickly falters making the woman next to her mother frown. 

"Sorry..." - she says looking at Koharu then at Inko for a moment before lowering her eyes to the floor - "We like it here, we just miss our mom..." 

"It's alright dear, you know you can always speak your mind." - Inko says smiling at her when she gives her another glance, Fuyumi smiles back at her looking reassured.

"Inko's really nice with us and her cooking is really good. It's nice to stay here, and we're happy that the two of us are still together..." - she says sparing Shōto a glance, as to make sure they don't think something's wrong in that house and make it clear she's glad she had the opportunity to be with her brother. 

"What about you Shōto?" - Koharu asks, almost ignoring Fuyumi's words, still not accepting that Shōto won't talk to her. She knows he won't, but every time she ignores the fact and tries to get him to answer, as if it's her personal mission to force him to talk. He never does though, most of the time he doesn't even acknowledge her presence. His silence, and the fact that Shōto completely ignored her, makes her frown. 

"Baby?" - Rei says tilting his son's face up to look at her. Izuku can see the exact moment when Shōto's eyes focus on her and he's back with them. 

"Do you like staying here?" - Rei asks brushing Shōto's hair back. He looks at her with no fear or discomfort.

"I want to stay with you..." - he whispers staring up at her. Izuku's not happy with the answer, but he can understand that his friend wants to stay with his own mother. 

"Me too, but that's not what I asked baby..." - she says sparing Koharu a glance, as if to tell her to give her time, that she'll have Shōto answer the question. The woman sighs lightly and doesn't intervene. Shōto almost frowns and takes a moment to look around and meet Izuku's eyes. He hesitates for a long moment before looking back up at his mother. 

"Izuku is my friend." - Shōto says as if that's going to answer their question. Izuku doesn't understand why Fuyumi lets out a breath she seemed to be holding in, nor why both his and Shōto's mum smile. 

"And I have Soba!" - he adds smiling while clapping his hands the way he does when he's extremely happy about something. 

"You surely don't eat it everyday..." - she chuckles sparingly Inko an hopeful look. 

"Oh, no! Soba is the cat. We got one couple years ago, soon after they moved in. I read it could help. They've been inseparable since then..." - Inko explains smiling kindly. 

"Oh..." - Rei stifles a laugh as Shōto gets out of her lap and leaves the room, no doubt to go find Soba that had not showed up yet. Maybe she's hiding because there are strangers in the house. She's the kind of cat who likes quiet places, she doesn't like too much noise and definitely doesn't like strangers, she's almost a cat version of Shōto. 

"I suppose he was the one who chose the name..." - Rei says chuckling lightly earning a nod from Izuku's mother. 

"He's eating a bit of everything, they both are...but Shōto sure like cold soba a lot. I wasn't surprised by the name choice..." - Inko says.

"Oh! How did you manage? Shōto's always been difficult when it came to food..." - she says and Izuku suspects she's trying to make it look nicer than it was, he's pretty sure Shōto has been difficult in other things too. He's still difficult from time to time.

"I'm not sure...he's always eaten everything since he's got here.." - Inko says with a little shrug and Izuku hides his laugh stuffing his face with a sandwich. She really never noticed? He thought she did at some point and just chose not to bring it up. 

"What are you laughing about Izuku?" - she asks noticing him trying to suppress a laugh.

"Nothing..." - he mutters lowering his head as he munches on what's left of his sandwich. He doesn't think he should speak out in that moment: he doesn't think it will look good for his mom if he tells her that he and Shōto have been trading food all along and that she didn't realize Shōto hates some types of foods. 

"Izuku..." - Inko warns him with no heat.

Luckily Shōto gives him a way out of it, he enters the room with Soba in his arms. 

"He found the cat..." - Izuku says and everyone attention's immediately on Shōto. 

Soba's purring in Shōto's arms as he scratches a specific spot behind her ear and Shōto doesn't even seem to notice all the attention he's getting, he's only focusing on his cat as he walks to sit on his mother's lap again.

Shōto mumbles the cat name as he looks up at his mother's happily. Rei smiles and brushes his hair back before letting Soba sniff her hand. The cat meows and rubs her head against her palm and that somehow seems to make Shōto incredibly happy, as if his cat liking his mother is the most important thing in the world.

Izuku should have anticipated that this is how the evening was going to end.

Rei is kneeling on the floor with her son between her arms. It took little time to say goodbye to Fuyumi, but Shōto's not letting go. He started crying a few minutes before and now he's clinging to his mother's cardigan as if his life depends on it, like he’s still four and doesn’t know what else to do if not hold tight onto her.

Koharu sighs heavily a couple steps behind them, she looks about to take the matter into her own hands and pull Shōto off of his mother, unaware, or maybe just uncaring, of the damage she'd be doing. 

The man, Hideki, gives her a look that seems to keep her from acting and Izuku just stares from the living room doorframe as Shōto cries and begs to go with his mom. 

There's a part of Izuku that burns with fear that they might give in and Shoto will leave him, but he doesn't say anything, some other part of him can understand, he'd never want to leave his mother side. 

Rei looks sad, like she'd really like to take him with her, but Izuku knows she can't, Koharu made it clear too many times already. 

"Mom wants to be with you too baby, but you have to stay here a little longer. You have to let me go now..." - she says softly rubbing Shōto's back.

Shōto doesn't answer, he just cries harder and louder while Fuyumi stands still a few steps away looking unsure of what she's supposed to do in a situation like that. 

Izuku looks at his mom, she's standing by the genkan watching the scene with a sad expression. 

"Shōto, sweetie, your mom has to leave now. But you'll see her soon, I promise..." - she says trying to make Shōto cooperate but failing miserably. 

Izuku knows that they will use force if they'll need to, and it's going to happen soon: if Shōto doesn't let go, they will pull him out of his mother's embrace and keep him still while his mother walks out the door no matter how loud and hard he's going to cry and scream.

And it's going to be painful for Shōto, who hates being touched, for his mother and sister that are going to see him suffer unable to make it stop, aware that they won't be able to calm him down after. And once they'll be thrown apart, Shoto will shut down for god knows how long.

Izuku moves, he doesn't think too long about it, he just has to try to make things a little less ugly for his best friend. 

"Shōto..." - he tries softly. 

He knows everyone is looking at him like he's crazy, but he doesn't care. Shōto's cries softens and he sniffles a little, his hands are still gripping his mother's cardigan, but his eyes are on him. 

"She has to go, but I'll stay with you until she comes back..." - Izuku says, matter of fact, because he will stay by Shōto's side.

"I promise..." - he adds after a long minute extending his hand for him to take.

Shōto doesn't move for a few moments but eventually the grip on his mother's cardigan seems to get loose.

He looks up at her and sniffles.

She brushes the hair out of his face and smile reassuring him that she'll come back soon.

"Promise?" - he mumbles still looking at her. 

"Cross my heart baby..." - she says before kissing his forehead. 

"Okay..." - Shōto mumbles, his hands completely letting go of her cardigan. 

He doesn't move though, he stands there motionless. Rei smiles softly and lays another kiss on his forehead before brushing her thumbs on Shōto's cheeks to dry the tears that are still running down his face. 

"Shōto?" - Izuku calls again hand still midair between them. 

Shōto turns to look at him and he hesitates for a few more seconds, he looks at his mother that smiles and nods, before he turns towards Izuku and instead of reaching for his hand, he goes in for a hug. 

Izuku squeezes him back as Rei stands and takes a few steps back with her eyes glued to them. It's just a moment before she hurries to leave their house with Koharu and Hideki whispering to her to be quick. 

Izuku holds Shōto a bit tighter when the door closes.

"What were you actually laughing about this afternoon? Be honest Izuku..." - Inko asks as she starts gathering the empty plates on the table once they're done with dinner.

"Shōto doesn't eat everything..." - he says sparing Shōto, who's still picking at his food, a glance. He's bee quiet since his mom left, his mood has worsened significantly. 

"What are you talking about?" - Inko asks standing by the table with a pile of plates in her hands. 

"Well, I eat what he doesn't like..." - he says, before quickly going on as his mother's expression switches in one of disappointment, she almost looks about to scold him - "it's not like I take food from him. Yesterday I took his broccoli and I gave him my carrots, he likes them..."

"So you two exchange food? How long have you been doing this exactly?" - Inko asks with a tired sigh.

"A while.." - he shrugs lightly.

Fuyumi chuckles and Inko turns to look at her confused.

"Did you knew about this?" - she asks. 

"I saw them exchanging mushrooms and fries once, I didn't realise it was an habit..." - she says before taking a sip from her glass of water trying to hide a smile. Of course she knew it was a habit, she's caught them so many times. Izuku's glad she's lying about it though, he doesn't want her to get in trouble for keeping it quiet. 

"And you said nothing?" - she asks seeming almost amused by the whole thing. 

Fuyumi shrugs a little apologising and Inko scoffs before chuckling and sparing Shōto a glance. He's eating in silence, most of the food in his plate is almost gone, she supposes he likes what she cooked for dinner this time. 

Izuku's relieved she's not mad about it. 

"Do you have a list of what foods Shōto dislikes to share then?" - she asks looking back at him, knowing Shōto won't talk to her if she asks him directly. 

"Well, he doesn't like broccoli. He hates mushrooms, eggplants are a no, melon when it's too ripe is a no too...then pineapple" - Izuku says, the list is quite long so he's sure he'll have to repeat it at least a couple times; his mom should really grab a pen and write it all down. 

"Of course you have a whole list..." - she says stopping him as she shakes her head - "you're going to fill me in  when we're all done eating, okay?"

He nods and his mother lets out another sigh as she shakes her head in what might be disbelief. She smiles at Shōto even though he doesn't notice, too focused on the salad on his plate. Maybe Izuku should add tomatoes to the list of things Shōto dislikes, he doesn't seem willing to eat them, preferring to move them into a corner of his plate. 

That night Shōto doesn't bother to get into his own bed and wait for Inko to check on them before sneaking into Izuku's bed. Once they walk into the bedroom, he  crawls into Izuku's bed right after him. Izuku smiles as Shōto makes himself comfortable, mom's not going to like it, Izuku doesn't really get why, but he doesn't care. 

"I'm happy you're still living with us..." - Izuku says once Shōto seems to be comfortable enough. 

"I wanted to go with my mom..." - Shōto mumbles and it tastes bitter. It hurts a little, but Izuku knows Shōto's not trying to hurt him on purpose. He's just like that, when he speaks, he does it with no filters. 

"I know, but I'm happy you're still here with me..." - Izuku says, he's not sure if he's trying to make Shōto understand how much he means to him or if he's just being stupid. Whatever it is, Shōto just stares for a while before shifting closer and hugging him while resting his forehead on his chest. 

"You are going to be my friend when I leave?" - Shōto asks non letting go. 

Izuku doesn't like his question, doesn't like the 'when', the fact that Shōto knows he'll leave, that he wants to leave. He doesn't say anything about it though.  

"I'll always be your friend..." - he says hugging Shōto a bit tighter. Shōto doesn't flinch, he doesn't say anything back, he just nods and squeezes him.

When his mom walks in the room to check on them a little later, she doesn't comment on Shōto's sleeping in his bed, she just sighs and lets it go. 

Maybe she's letting it go because it's been a eventful day for Shōto, or maybe she's just tired of trying to make them stop. She tugs them in whispering a soft 'goodnight' before waking out the door. Izuku falls asleep soon after, feeling Shōto's arms around his torso and Soba curled against their feet.

Chapter Text

His glance lingers on the guitar in the corner of the room: his guitar. It's his, but some times it's almost a foreign object to him.  

He hated it, or at least he did at the beginning. 

Maybe it was because he was terribly inept at it, or maybe because it was his mother's idea: another not so subtle way to keep him away from fantasising on being a hero,  away from Shōto in a way too.

The fact that it kept him busy when Shōto was not around was probably a bonus point for his mother, she didn't have to worry about him being alone or having so little to do that he could spend time studying heroes. 

For a while he didn't know what to do with the guitar his mother placed in his hands on his 9th birthday, he had zero interest in it and no intention to learn how to play it, it almost seemed a waste of time. At the beginning he even refused to try. 

But he was forced to and eventually it wasn't such a terrible way to pass time anymore. 

He had always liked music and playing the guitar per se wasn't such a bad idea, if he didn't think about the intent behind his mother actions, it was enjoyable. It was hard to ignore though, he might have been nine years old at the time, but he was smart enough to understand what was going on. 

He learned fast. Shōto was obviously his first fan and biggest supporter and it was ironic because Shōto hated loud noises and music could be very loud. He was sure that if he ever had the chance to play in a school event, Shōto wouldn't come to see him perform. It was something Izuku didn't spend too much thinking about. 

Time passed, and as it passed, with Shōto being busy with doctors or being out with his own mother and him being busy with guitar lessons, they spent less and less time together. They were growing apart in a way, his mother must have been happy that they were finally starting to stop being so codependent. Izuku could feel it in the way she seemed much more relaxed, as if them being close was starting to be a huge problem.

And he hated it, more than he hated the way his mother had always given Shōto so much attention. He hated the idea that she wanted them to be distant, when Shōto was the only person to ever see him, to ever listen to him. And he hated that his mother still couldn't pay him enough attention, even now that they were older and Shōto was doing much better.

Izuku tried to tell himself otherwise, but he couldn't help but think that she just had found the son she had always wanted in Shōto and now that she had what she wanted, she simply couldn't care about him. After all, even if Shōto wasn't perfect, at least he had two quirks that could make up for everything else he lacked. 

Two days ago he had been out longer than he was supposed to for a twelve years old, but when he came back she wasn't as worried about his whereabouts as he expected her to be. She seemed mostly angry that he was soaked from head to toe from the rain that had been pouring outside for hours, and Izuku was sure that if it was Shōto the one coming home late completely soaked, she would have fretted over him for hours. Instead, she had sighed, almost as if she had given up on him. She didn't yell, she never did, but her eyes spoke volumes. 

She wasn't angry that he was sick now, she didn't seem to be worried either, she was just pissed that he was going to skip another day of school. That was something he'd been doing a lot lately. 

It started as an attempt to get her attention since good grades didn't work, but it didn't seem enough to catch her attention, so it just become a way to avoid his bullies. These days her work seemed to be all that caught her attention. 

And Izuku realised how desperate he was: seeking her attention to the point of trying to get her angry was something he never thought he would be doing. 

The house had been empty and silent the whole morning, his mother had been out most of the day to go grocery shopping and god knows what else. 

Izuku didn't even feel lonely, he was used to be alone. 

His head was killing him and he was freezing under the duvet, but he couldn't even think about getting out of bed, nor to seek for his mother attention. 

He hadn't bothered to join her for lunch when she came back, she left some food for him in the fridge for sure, but she didn't bother to tell him.  She only entered his room to tell him she was going to work. Izuku had hummed but he hadn't bothered to look at her, he didn't need to see the disappointment on her face. He knew it was there.

He hadn't bothered to go say hi when he heard the front door close when she came back from work, nor when Shōto and Fuyumi came back from their weekend with their mother by dinner time, and he chose to pretend to be asleep even when Shōto entered the room to check if he was in there. 

He was tired of everything.

But Shōto knew.

He had been silent while crawling into his bed, his movements were slow and delicate as if not to wake him up, but that was just the way Shōto moved around him. Always careful, always mindful.

"I'm awake..." - Izuku said, not bothering to open his eyes or turn around to face him.

"Are you cold?" - Shōto asked. Izuku could feel his warmth just a few centimeters away.

"Yes..." - he mumbled bringing the duvet up to his chin as he turned around. Shōto didn't say a thing, he just moved closer and wrapped his arms around him. 

Some days Izuku just wanted to hate him, pour all that anger and resentment on Shōto, but he couldn't, he can't. He can't because he knows it's not Shōto's fault if things are they way they are, he's just a twelve years old boy like him, he's not the adult who should provide for them the same way. 

Besides, Shōto makes it really hard to hate him. 

The way he softly smiles only around him, the way he's always so sweet and caring in his own weird special way, noticing every little thing about Izuku, remembering every single thing Izuku tells him, even the silliest ones. 

It's always about the smallest of things, Shōto's bad at putting into words his thought and feelings, he struggles to speak up most of the times, but he shows him how much he cares exactly through those little actions. 

And Izuku just can't bring himself to hate him. 

Like right now, Shōto's hugging him, his body is warmer than usual, and Izuku knows he's using the quirk he hates so much just for his sake, so that he can warm up the two of them, so that Izuku can stop shivering and finally feel a bit better. And the fact that the first thing he did as soon as he got home after his weekend with his mom was to go check on him adds to the list of reasons why he can't hate him. The fact that he's not rumbling about whatever they have done with her for the weekend is s bonus point too. Izuku doesn’t think he can listen about Shōto's mum being all caring and loving,  not when he's home sick and his own mother barely notice. 

He doesn't need to think about it. He has to focus on something else, anything else.

Shōto: that's something he can focus on.

Shōto is warm, Izuku's forehead instinctively rests against his chest and he can feel Shōto's left hand resting flat on his back radiating warmth. The guitar doesn't matter. His mother doesn't matter. For a bit nothing really matters, nothing except one thing: Shōto. 

Shōto matters, and somewhere deep down, Izuku wishes he didn't. 

Soba curls at their feet and something in the way all of this feels safe and familiars tells him that this is wrong, that whatever this is, it's going to evolve into something they're not supposed to have. He feels like he should push Shōto away, keep some kind of distance between them as his mother wants. But just the single thought makes something aches in Izuku's chest.

"I missed you." - Shōto says softly, his hand not moving from his back, his temperature stable. 

Izuku wishes he was strong enough to actually push Shōto away and stop whatever is growing in his chest, but he can't, he really can't. Not when Shōto's so warm and so comfortable with him, not when Shōto is all he has left.

"I missed you too..." - he mumbles. And if he lowers his face in Shoto's chest to hide that one stubborn tear that slipped away, it's just for him to know.

As a thirteen years old Izuku can't help but feel like there's something wrong with him. 

Well, that's not something new.

There's always been something wrong with him: first he was too scrawny, then too emotional, then quirkless. 

But at thirteen he's much more self aware and this is definitely a new level of wrong. 

Or maybe it's not wrong, maybe it's just weird. Izuku's not sure which one is, but , whatever it is, it scares Izuku to the core. 

Kacchan, Ao and their friend have always made fun of him for a number of reasons, how close he and Shōto are being one of those. But this time it's different. They started to insinuate that he and Shōto are together, like in a romantic kind of way. 

He doesn't know when it started, he doesn't even care. 

But he's scared, because beyond the pain all the mocking, the slur and mean names they've been calling him have been causing him, Izuku realised they might not be wrong about him. He's scared of how easily he can see himself being with Shōto like that, holding hand and sharing a crepes at an amusement park. And he's scared of how he can't picture himself doing such things with anyone else, especially any girl their his class. 

And if it gets out, that will only make him even more weird and easier to hate and pick on. 

But the scariest part is the way Shōto had started to keep a bit of distance between them at school as soon as those rumors had started to spread. It's little things: Shōto started to let go of his hand a couple miles before they reach school, he started to walk at an arm length from him,  he stopped standing close to him,  started to avoid looking at him during class. It's little things really, but Izuku feels like even Shōto might start to hate him and that's just the beginning of them falling apart. 

Maybe he should talk about it with someone, but he feels like that's a bad idea.

Who's he supposed to talk to anyway?

Shōto's his only friend, he can't possibly tell him about how he's starting to feel about him, how he's starting to think he'll never like a girl like all their peers are starting to as of late, that he can't picture himself with any girl, not even in a far away future.

He'd think he's weird, he'd push him away.

He can't tell his mother. Maybe she'd listen, she probably wouldn't care, but not in a caring way, in a 'I couldn't care less about you' way and he's not ready for that kind of pain yet. He's sure she wouldn't understand anyway, that at best she'd try to get him away from Shoto.

He can't tell Fuyumi, because as much as they get along, they're not that close and there's a chance she'd tell Shōto.

And that's all about the people in his life.

So he's stuck keeping it for himself, not knowing if all of this makes him just weird or not, not knowing if feeling like this is wrong or not. He just knows it's happening and it hurts, but there's no one he can tell about it. 

He hates it, hates that he's like this, that he's different, and he doesn't know how to fix himself. He just knows that he has to hide it, hide himself and it's painful.

It hurts and Izuku should be used to hurt, but this time it feels like it's too much and at some point he's going to suffocate.

Chapter Text

Izuku feels empty staring at the ceiling motionless. 

His empty stomach hurts, and that's all that he can feel beside the huge void devouring his chest. 

It's weird how quickly happiness can fade away.

He was at the top of the world just a few hours ago, smiling wide and feeling accomplished for once with that stupid letter him his hands. Shōto's hands were gripping his wrists a bit too tight but they were grounding in a way  and Shōto looked so damn happy for him, for them. He was so happy he was jumping and muttering about all the things they would be doing at UA together, of how being in the general course made him just a step away from joining the hero course. 

It was an amazing moment, but it was just that: a moment. 

His mother had took the letter from his hands with little care for the paper and his smile had faded as soon as he met her glance. She wasn't happy nor proud as she should have been, she was frowning at the letter in her hands.

Now Izuku's just incredibly sad.

"What's this?" -  she had asked looking at him.

"I got accepted into UA." - he answered trying to smile even though he could feel that the happiness in the room was quickly fading.

As Izuku expected there was no surprise nor happiness in his mother, she just sighed and massaged the bridge of her nose looking exasperated like he had done the hundredth wrong thing in his life. 

"You applied for that highschool behind my back? Knowing that I didn't want you to go there?" - she asked, her tone dangerously calm. 

"They have a great general studies department and once you're there there's a chance to move to the hero one if you're good enough and-" - Izuku started to mumble, his voice becoming softer by the minute. 

"God Izuku..." -  she sighed exasperated before going on - "You're not going to UA..."

"But Izuku..." - Shōto started to speak. It was unexpected, Shōto never spoke up, especially when it came to adults.

"No Shōto. This is between my son and I,  please step out of the room and let us talk dear." - she said, her voice softer, her tone kinder. She always used that tone with him.

Shōto frowned just a tiny bit, his shoulder stiffened just slightly and for a second it almost seemed to Izuku like he was worried. He looked at Izuku and hesitated for a moment longer before letting go of his wrists and stepping out of the living room. Izuku had heard the door of their bedroom open and close soon after, meaning that he and his mom were finally alone.

"Listen Izuku, I tried to be nice about all of this and get you used to the idea of doing something different with your life as gently as possible, but you're not a child anymore, you need to grow up. You're quirkless sweetie and I am really sorry that your dream can't become a reality, but you need to accept it and move on..." - She said. Her voice was sweeter than usual, as if that could sweeten the pill he had to swallow, but it didn't feel like it for Izuku.

 "But I don't want to give up, I don't want to do something else...and Shōto thinks I can be a hero..." - he mumbled, his glance falling to the letter in his mother's hand.

"Shōto is just playing along Izuku, he's trying to be nice." 

"No, he believes it...We've got plans and-" - Izuku started to raise his voice looking up at his mother, but he didn't get the chance to keep going.

"No Izuku, you've been daydreaming about it all, that's what has been going on..." - Inko said with a sharp tone. 

"But I got in! I earned that spot! I'm like in the top ten..." - he tried to argue.

"Then be in the top ten of another school! What do you think it will happen when you're there exactly?" - Inko asked interrupting him once more. She crossed her arms over her chest, Izuku's letter still in one of her hand already wrinkled.

"We'll be in the same school and..." - Izuku struggled to go on, there was a lump in his throat and he knew tears were going to fall down soon.

"And nothing more Izuku. How do you think you're going to feel having to watch every single day kids your age working to become heroes while you can't be one? You're going to be hurting all the time. How can you even think this is a good idea?"

"But...but Shōto and I..." - Izuku mumbled, eyes watering and voice trembling, not sure if from sadness or anger. 

"You and Shōto, you and Shōto. Enough of it! You have to think about yourself. You're two people, not one, you don't have to do everything together, especially this. You are not going to UA or anywhere near it Izuku and that's final." - she said loudly, his acceptance letter wrinkling more as her grip tightened around it. 

"But I want to go there! I earned it!" - Izuku tried again reaching for his acceptance letter but failing as she took a step back. 

"I SAID NO!" - she screamed. 

Izuku flinched taking a step back. He watched his mother close her eyes and take a deep breath before looking at him again. 

"You'll understand that I'm doing this for your own good enevtually." - She said before storming past him to the kitchen. She said something about dinner too, as if she just hadn't take away from him something important, something he had worked hard to get, something he had been looking for all his life. He couldn't hear what she was saying, the buzz in his ears was too loud, the weight in his chest too heavy. 

He looked down at his hands, they were trembling, but he  still couldn't tell if it was out of anger or desperation. He moved, he didn't care were he was going, all that mattered was to get away from her, from that house where he felt like he couldn't even breath. What he was leaving behind as he slammed the entrance door didn't matter. 

To be fair nothing mattered at all. 

He doesn't remember what his mother yelled when he got back later, maybe it was something about leaving like that, or maybe it was about being late for dinner.  Izuku didn't care about either. 

Fuyumi was standing by the living room doorway looking worried, Shōto stood stiff a bit behind staring at the floor. He didn't answer to his mother, he didn't even look at her, he just walked past her, past them and hid himself in his room slamming the door. Somewhere deep down he wished it wasn't his father the one gone from his life, he wished it was her. 

The silence is too much, it has been at least a couple hours since he came back. His mother didn't try to talk to him again, didn't apologise for being so mean, nor for screaming. Shōto hasn't come to talk to him either, that's strange but he supposes it's okay. 

His mother is probably right, Shōto must have been humouring him all along and now that it's all out in the open, he doesn't know what to do, how to face him. 

To be honest, Izuku always thought Shōto was unable to lie, but maybe he was wrong. He's been wrong about a lot of things after all.

The door opens and Izuku stares as Shōto walks into the room silently with Soba in his arms. He puts her down on the floor and gently closes the door behind himself. 

"I am sorry..." - Shōto says lingering by the door. His glance is glued to the floor, his hands are limp by his sides and whatever expression he might have is hidden behind his bangs. 

"What are you sorry about?" - Izuku asks with a sigh. He's not really in the mood for a talk but he knows if he doesn't humor Shōto now he'll come to regret it later. If he ignores him now, Shōto will probably shut down for a while and Izuku can't really afford that, especially when Shōto is his only ally in that house, the only friend ha has.

"I tried to talk to her, but I..." - Shōto starts but doesn't continue. 

"You did?" 

"I told her it's what you want, she said it's bad for you to go to UA. I don't really understand..." - Shōto says finally looking up at him. 

"I think there's not much to understand" - Izuku sighs and goes back to stare at the ceiling. He can't deal with Shōto's fake confusion right now. There's nothing to understands, it seems all pretty clear to Izuku. 

He should get into his pyjamas and go to sleep, but he can't move, not right now. The bed on the other side of the room creeks and when Izuku turns to look what Shōto's doing, he found him sitting on his bed petting Soba.

"What don't you understand?" - Izuku asks, because he supposes he has to fix the situation somehow. 

"I don't understand why she won't let you go to UA if that's what you want. Isn't she supposed to want you to be happy? That's what mothers want for their children." 

"She said it's not my place, that I'll be unhappy there..."

"But you want to be there. We're supposed to be a team..."

"Maybe not..." - he mutters really softly, he's sure Shōto heard him, but he doesn't comment, he just stares letting silence stretch for a long time.

"When you told me I could be a hero, that we could be heroes together, did you believe it? Or were you lying to me?" - he finally asks, breaking the silence.

"I'm not good at lying. I would never lie to you though, you're my best friend."

Izuku forces a smile and with a sigh he turns to look at the ceiling. 

"Thanks..." - he says closing his eyes for a while. 

"She doesn't think I can and that being around people becoming heroes will be bad for me..." - he adds without bothering to open his eyes, letting silence stretch for a while.

When he opens them again and turns to look at Shōto, his hands are still in Soba's fur, she doesn't seem too happy about it but she's not going to do anything about that either if not staring up at Shōto who looks unhappy to him.

"Hey..." - he says recalling his attention.

"It's okay. You'll do great even if I'm not there." - Izuku says trying to cheer him up.  

"I don't want to go somewhere you can't..." - Shōto says looking up at him. 

Izuku scoffs a little. That's sweet, but his mind can't help but wonder to Ao's words. They would die to hear one of them say something like this. He knows Shōto means it in a friend kid of way, but they would read into it more than necessary. 

"I won't fit in without you, I don't know how..." - Shōto adds, his glance falling on Soba as she sits up in his lap and bumps her head on his chest. 

"I'm sure your classmates at UA will be nicer than those we have now. It will be fine..."

Shōto doesn't say a word. Izuku doesn't feel like saying anything else, he sighs and turns his back to Shōto.  He doesn't feel like talking anymore, nor like cuddling. The wall in front of him is empty, just as his chest, just like his future is going to be. It doesn't matter, Izuku tells himself. But as he keeps repeating those words, they turn in a more hurtful 'I don't matter...'.

Chapter Text

Izuku hates life.

Life is so damn unfair to him and happiness is something unachievable, maybe it is nothing but an illusion. 

Izuku struggles. 

He struggles with school, with people but to be fair he'd say he struggles with life in general. 

It's hard to smile and keep a strong happy front, but no matter how exhausting it is, he tries. 

Shōto has been quiet lately, but Izuku can still see hope in his eyes. Life has been kind to him, or at least that's what Fuyumi always says: life has been kind with them ever since they've moved with them. 

They have been seeing their mother regularly for a while now, she comes by for the weekend at least once a month then she brings them out on their second scheduled weekend, Haruko always there making sure everything works out fine. Everyone's happy, everyone's okay. 

But Izuku is not. 

He knows somewhere deep down that he's not okay and no matter how hard pretends to be, how hard he tries to be fine, he'll eventually break. 

He's putting up a front, he has been for a while. 

He has been pretending to be okay for a long time and he knows the facade can't last forever, it will eventually crumble and when it will, it's going to be ugly. 

He pretends it didn't hurt when Kacchan laughed in his face the first time he heard he had applied to UA with Shōto, that it didn't hurt when Ao called him a failure, when Tsubasa called him a fag in front of their entire class and everyone laughed, that it didn't hurt when they beat him up today just because Shōto didn't came to school. 

Most of the time he feels like he's about to drown, the image of his wrinkled acceptance letter in his mother's hand still lingering in his mind almost as a reminder of how he'll never get what he wants.

But he hangs in there, for Shōto, for their shared but broken dream, for their friendship. 

Maybe for his mother too, even if she never seems to notice that something is wrong with him, even if at this point Izuku can only think that she just does not care. 

It's been a long day. His body aches, their classmates haven't been kind to him today that Shōto didn't come to school. Izuku hates when he has medical appointments that keep him from coming to school. Every time he's not there his bullies pick up on the bullying harder, they get physical. Izuku can't tell if they leave him alone when Shōto's with him out of fear that he might react or if they think bullying Shōto is wrong just because of the label they put on him. Izuku doesn't even care why, it's irrelevant. 

He stayed out later than usual, he was supposed to be back at least a couple hours ago, but he wasn't feeling it. His mother probably didn't even notice he's late. She doesn't care, no one does. 

He turns the key in the lock and  enter his own house, even if it doesn't feel as homey as it was, nor as it should. He can hear the commotion in the other room and he knows that the day arrived: Shōto got into UA. 

This is not how it was supposed to go.

Or rather, this is exactly how it was supposed to go, but not how Izuku wanted it to go. He lingers by the doorframe in silence, no one seems to notice him, it's not something new. 

Fuyumi's smiling as wide as humanly possible, the amount of sheer pride she's feeling for her brother for getting into UA is obvious. Shōto's smiling timidly, but Izuku can tell he's not happy, or at least not as happy as he should be. He's not bouncing on his heels and smiling wide as he was when Izuku got his own acceptance letter for UA General Studies. Izuku still remember clearly the way he grabbed his wrist and jumped happily with him that time. They were happy for a while, at least until Inko told him he'd never go anywhere near UA and took away his letter. 

It doesn't matter anymore, Izuku tells himself all the time, pretending he hasn't been drowning ever since.

His mother's smiling too, congratulating him on his achievement and he can't help feeling bitter. 

Staring from the doorway, alone, Izuku can't help but feel any ugly feeling possible: disappointment, sadness, resentment, anger. He feels unappreciated, not enough, useless, invisible if not just straight up unwanted.

Everything his bullies have ever told him. 

And that's everything is ever going to be in life.  

He's everything Shōto isn't and somehow, even if he's Inko's son, he feels like he's a stranger in his own house, he feels like Shōto has completely taken his place in his own family and he's nothing more than a shadow his mother barely remember from time to time.

Shōto turns around noticing he's by the door, he looks back at him and he forces a smile because he might be bitter about the whole thing, but he loves Shōto and doesn't know how to stop. Besides, he wants him to succeed regardless of his own shortcomings, regardless of how much he takes away from him, regardless of how much it hurts him.

He can't be a hero and he never will, but Shōto can, so Izuku will make sure he goes to UA even if he won't himself, even if Shōto will argue that he won't go anywhere without him. Because after all, Shōto deserves to become the person he's supposed to be, Izuku can stay behind, has to stay behind. He can't tarnish something good. 

Shōto flebile smile disappears rapidly, maybe he can tell Izuku's smile is faker than his own.

"Izuku, when did you get back?" - Inko asks, still smiling but clearly not for him. If she notices the bruise on his cheek she doesn't say anything about it. 

Izuku shrugs because the only thing his brain is supplying is  'long enough to see you love him more than you love me' and that's only going to start a fight he's too tired for. 

"Shōto got into UA."  - she says happy and proud, prouder than she's ever been about Izuku's stupid senseless achievements. Izuku swallows hard and pretends he's not hurting, but he can see Fuyumi's happiness faltering, almost as if she knows this is only causing him pain.

"Congrats..." - Izuku says forcing another smile. Shōto mutters a thanks but he doesn't smile, he doesn't approach him for a hug as he usually would, and Izuku knows Shōto knows something's off. Maybe he's just sad because he wont have Izuku to back him up when he'll struggle to understand his peers, but a little part of Izuku still hopes it's because their shared dream has shattered once for all.

It's much later when Shōto sneaks into his bed that he hears the words he didn't want to ear.

"I'm not going." - Shōto says just above a whisper as he slots himself into Izuku's arms almost as if he belongs there.

"Don't be silly..." - Izuku sighs focusing on the matter instead of the stupid thought of Shōto belonging to his arms. 

"I'm not going without you. I'll apply to the same high school you're going, so we can still be together..." - Shōto says firmly but not bothering to move or look him in the eyes, preferring to cuddle in his arms. 

Izuku sighs. Egoistically he'd like to tell Shōto that's okay, that he should go with him to whatever common high school his mother chose for him, but he can't. Not when they spent so much time fantasising, not when they worked so hard on Shōto's behaviour, not when Shōto is just one step away from their dream. Izuku's unachievable dream.

"But you want to be a hero right?" - Izuku waits for a 'yes' because he knows that Shōto wants to be one. He never shared the whys to that choice but there's always been a spark in his eyes and a firm determination to be one.

"I want to be a hero with you..." - Shōto says instead and Izuku fights back his tears. It's not the right time to cry, he has to make sure Shōto won't give up on his dream because of him. He needs to do the right thing, he can break down later, when Shōto's asleep. 

"Shōto, you are the smartest person I know." - Izuku says with a heavy sight - "You know I don't have what it takes to be a hero."

Shōto moves away to meet his glance and frowns just enough for Izuku to notice.

He places a hand over his heart and Izuku knows Shōto's trying to tell him that 'he's got the heart of a hero' but Izuku knows that's not enough, it's never going to be enough. He's never going to be enough. 

"It's never going to be enough..." - Izuku says brushing the hair out of Shōto's face before cupping his cheek.

"You're going to be amazing and I'll be cheering for you...even if I won't be there with you." - he adds. 

"We said we would go together, I don't want to go without you." - Shōto mumbles just above a whisper. 

"You know, we'll still be friends even if we're apart..." - Izuku says, hoping that will be enough to convince Shōto to do the right thing. Shōto stares for a while, not seeming to have an answer for him. 

"Can you just do it for me?" - he asks.

Shōto doesn't answer, doesn't reassure him that he'll go to UA, but he doesn't fight either.  As he snuggle into his chest, Izuku can't help but think that silence it's a win too as he tries to ignore the warmth that comes with Shōto snuggling into him.