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When the Crystal Gems found Amethyst it gave Rose a reason to spend more time at the temple. Amethyst was so small and so alone. She’d never been introduced to other gems or to gem culture. She couldn’t properly communicate, all she knew were rocks and dust and holes. It took a concerted team effort to get her back up to speed and Rose delighted in that. She said it was like having a child, her own little baby to raise. As if Amethyst was a helpless human infant instead of an overcooked and abandoned but fully formed soldier. It was hard work and Pearl took on the brunt of it.
Still, it was wonderful while it lasted. Pearl held ‘classes’ that imitated the human schools. Rose would sit at one desk, hold Amethyst like a human toddler, and take notes on her behalf. When it was Garnet’s turn to watch Amethyst, Rose and Pearl would discuss what lessons to do next. While Pearl worked, sometimes, Rose would lean over her, chest brushing against Pearl’s shoulder. Rose was always with the Crystal Gems, then, because Amethyst was an intriguing enough case that she didn’t have to entertain herself by fraternizing with humans again. Pearl loved it. Even if she wasn’t at the top of Rose’s priorities, she was close to it.
Pearl was still jealous, obviously. She desperately wanted to be sat in Rose’s lap. To be in such close contact so constantly. To be the focus of Rose’s plans and affections and time the way that Amethyst was. But it was much more manageable than when Rose was having a human fling. Amethyst was her baby, more or less. She was taking up all of Rose’s time, but wasn’t filling in the role in Rose’s life that Pearl wanted. Rose’s never ending supply of human toys were much harder to deal with.
Now, with Amethyst talking in complete (if occasionally rude) sentences, Rose was out seeking another distraction. A human, of course. A lover, ideally, but not always. It frustrated Pearl to no end to watch some fragile little human stare up at Rose with stars in their eyes and be celebrated for it. Pearl has been looking at Rose that same exact way for centuries and had to settle for nothing but the remnant scraps of her affection. She’d get to comfort Rose when her most recent human moved on or died. It would take months or weeks or decades, but she’d seek out Pearl’s open arms when it happened. Pearl would kiss away her tears and relish in the healing tingle of that lacrimal essence on her lips. They would act like lovers and Pearl could close her mind to Earth and pretend it would last. It never did. Pearl was never enough to keep Rose’s affections for long.
Pearl crouched behind a bush and spied on Rose and her new human toy dancing together by a fire. It ate her up inside, but she couldn’t stop watching. What if the human did something cruel to Rose? What if a corrupted gem showed up to fight and Rose needed back up? What if Rose decided to change her form again and pretend to be a human? She’d done it before. Shrunk herself down and played house for decades while Pearl paced back and forth along the beach, wringing her hands. Garnet had assured her that Rose would come back, that she saw it with her future vision, but that hadn’t helped. Then, one day, Rose came back as if it hadn’t been horribly, painfully long since they’d seen each other. Pearl pretended she didn’t mind and let Rose cry on her shoulder.
Rose and her human finished their dance and sat down on a large blanket. Rose put two fingers under the human’s chin and led them up into a soft kiss. Pearl clutched her chest, but stayed quiet through the pain. Rose didn’t like that Pearl followed her on her outings. She said that she deserved her privacy and that Pearl should pick up a hobby or find a human of her own to play with. All the hobbies in the world wouldn’t distract her, so Pearl kept following after Rose despite agreeing to stop. She loved Rose, she had to know where she was. Had to make sure she was safe. Had to know, if she abandoned Pearl again, where she went and what she looked like.
So, she didn’t avert her eyes from the scene unfolding in front of her. Rose had been clear with this human that she was not a human; and so when the human started to undress Rose simply morphed her form, removing her usual dress and faking human nudity. Pearl idly wondered if she copied directly from another human, the way she had done with a Quartz soldier so many centuries ago.
These sorts of human mating rituals always grossed Pearl out. There were so many fluids, so much grunting. Still, she offered to participate with Rose many, many times. If this was what Rose wanted, then Pearl would submit herself to it. They attempted it once, but Pearl couldn’t completely suppress her disgust and so Rose good-naturedly assured her that she didn’t have to do it if she didn’t want to. And Pearl, stupidly, admitted that she didn’t want to. She should have been a better actor. Should have insisted that she just needed time to get used to it, that she wanted to keep going. Maybe then Rose would be straddling her, riding her the way she was with this human. Maybe Rose would love her as more than a passing fancy.
They didn’t wash up after they finished the mating ritual, which deeply bothered Pearl. Instead, the human rested its head on Rose’s waiting arm and then snuggled up together. The human quickly fell asleep while Rose just stared at them. She’d explained the appeal to Pearl before; watching their body ever so slightly rise and fall with their breath. All of their organs working together, keeping them alive. Their fragility. It didn’t click with Pearl and probably never would.
Rose shifted slightly, careful not to wake the human, and looked directly towards Pearl’s hiding spot in the bushes. Her expression was sad. Disappointed, even. Pearl tried to duck down further. She fruitlessly hoped that Rose’s gaze was just happenstance and not proof she’d been found out.
“I know you’re there, Pearl,” Rose said, tone firm but not angry. “Go home. We’ll talk about this later.”
Pearl slowly stood, nodded at Rose, and turned away to walk back to the temple. She hugged her arms to herself. She was looking forward to that promised talk. Even if it was just reprimands, even if Rose’s words would do nothing to fix the situation, she’d have Rose’s full attention. For a few moments, Rose’s eyes would be on her again. Rose would hug Pearl and assure her that she wasn’t angry, but that she needed her space. Pearl would breathe in and Rose would smell like Earth-flowers and rebellion. Rose still wouldn’t be hers, but she could close her eyes and pretend.