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Chapter Text

Guy Hamdon ardently fought the urge to curse his skirt, and resisted the urge to shiver in the cool night air as he stood off to the side away from where the cops were getting statements and clearing debris, and the medics were helping civilians.

Mega Monkey wasn’t an uncommon rogue for her to fight, but compared to other villains his high intellect meant that his plans came together more often than not. And while he packed less of a wallop than someone like Mocktopus, somehow Guy had ended up with his hair ruined regardless. 

The offending mop of hair in question was tangled in a mess of black and pink, completely unrecognizable from his usual perfectly styled coif. And he was really feeling the negative effects, as his legs felt as stable as jelly and his mind felt like he was grasping to hold on to anything that would keep him tethered to the present. One of the worst things about his superhero gig was his kryptonite in question. Anytime his hair was a mess he could feel the exhaustion in seeping his bones. He doubted he could beat Kelly in one of their sibling scraps, let alone defeating one of his usual rogues. He was just thankful that the fight had been over by the time his hairdo got turned into a hairdon’t.

And because it was just his luck, he was out of shellac. So there wasn’t much he could do besides wait for Maz to show up. Guy was really regretting his decision to have them split up, with Maz taking the shehicle to steer Mega Monkey away from the more populated area of the city so that Guy could corner him with less worry of any nearby civilians.

Guys eyelashes fluttered as he rapidly blinked trying to stay alert and stave off the growing lightheadedness that threatened to overtake him, and went to fiddle with a loose strand of his hair- an unknown habit of his whenever he got stressed and was in costume.

He just hoped Maz showed up soon. His heels were really killing his feet tonight.

-

Boxter Hamdon has been an officer of the law from the moment he graduated the academy right after he’d finished high school. Over a decade of service in the city of Megadale, and he’s proud of it. He’s seen a lot in his days on the force, especially with the rise of villains appearing in the city, to the point where there wasn’t much that surprised him anymore. 

Though if you’d told him a handful of years ago that he’d end up being a mentor to a superhero, he’d have laughed in your face and probably pulled out a breathalyzer to test if you were sober.

He’d never liked Shezow, and he was well known for his opinion on her. Ever since he’d known of the hero, she’d been an egotistical bimbo, always at the scene of the crime when paparazzi showed up, and never there when it came time to pay for the ample ammunition of property damage left in her wake. 

And nobody needed to wear that much pink.

And yet, here he was, with the heroine heavily leaning against his side after finishing up a battle with Mega Monkey. The villain had managed to escaped the being capture, but Shezow had succeeded in saving the civilians in the area. Though it seemed she’d taken a few heavy hits, given how she could barely stay stood on her feet, her hair a complete mess as she wandered away from where paramedics were arriving to the scene. 

Boxter had watched as she limped away, and felt just the slightest tinge of sympathy. She had actually saved the day, with minimal property damage this time, and she’d obviously gotten hurt in the process. Internally Boxter couldn’t help but argue with himself as he had approached her, that he was just doing his job as an officer to make sure citizens of his city were alright.

“You uh.. okay?”. He had asked feeling rather uncomfortably awkward. 

She’d startled from where she’d been standing in a daze, twirling a strand of jet black hair around her finger. “Hm?”. Her tense shoulders seemed to relax slightly at the sight of him. “M’ alright, that fight just took a lot out of me”. She lazily scanned the streets around them, groaning impatiently as whatever she was looking for didn’t seem to appear.

“Aren’t you supposed to be invulnerable or something?”. Boxter just can’t help but ask. Seeing the hero injured was quite the rarity. 

She sent him a tired looking glare. “I am. Usually”. She answered rather cryptically, mumbling the last part of her sentence.

The sound of roaring tires echoed from a few streets away and she perked up, moving to take a step forward and nearly tripping over her heels as she did so. Boxter caught her on instinct before she could hit the pavement, and the officer heaved a sigh. “C’mon. Lift your arm”. He ordered, and the hero seemed to follow his command without really realizing she was doing it.

He adjusted their stance so he was the one holding majority of the weight, and together they moved away from the commotion of the scene, until they were several feet from the main area of chaos. Leaning against the trunk of his cop car together, he couldn’t help but scan her for any sort of injuries. Officers instincts, he’d written it off as.

She was a bit roughed up around the edges, a few rips in her cape, snags in her cheetah print pattered tights, and her typically sparkling white gogo boots were scuffed, but besides that the only real sign of a battle at all was her wild hair. He watched as she directed her eyes at nearby road. 

Boxter could deduce easily enough that she was probably waiting on that sidekick of hers to show up. From the few things he knew of the superheroine, he certainly knew that she and her sidekick were joined at the hip. It was rare to see one without the other being nearby. That was a very common fact that most denizens of Megadale knew by this point. Where Shezow went, her loyal sidekick followed, and Boxter doubted tonight was an exception

“You’re being oddly nice”. She says suddenly, shifting her stance to be leaning more against the car than him.

“Excuse me?”.

She lazily jostled her shoulders in an imitation of a shrug, wincing immediately after. “Just saying. It’s kinda freaky”. 

“Wha- I’m just being a responsible officer! Don’t look to deep into it. You’re technically a citizen of this city. My duty is to help citizens of Megadale, you happen to be included in that”. He grumbled. “Still doesn’t mean I approve of your antics”.

“Gee, thanks for the lecture, Dad”. She remarks, sounding less sarcastic than he’d like, the title of dad rolling off her tongue so easily that Boxter almost does a double take.

She’s probably just delirious. 

He puts an end the small talk by not responding, not wanting to start up an argument. Better to wait in silence. 

And he doesn’t have to wait long.

A few moments later, her garish pink car comes screeching around the corner, undoubtedly leaving skid marks on the road. It hardly even has the chance to come to a complete stop before the door was wildly swung open with haste. Dressed in his typical getup, with the blue Domino mask, matching cape & gloves, and looking extremely worried as he hurried over, Shezow’s sidekick arrives.

“Sorry, I’m late! I rushed over fast as I could! Like going 60 in a 25 rushed!”

Boxter pointedly ignored that very illegal comment, and simply leans down to help hand over to Shezow to her sidekick. “I think this is yours”. 

“Oh jeez, you okay dude?”. The sidekick almost completely ignored Boxter as he carefully shifted his arm around his hero’s shoulders. The gangly sidekick is doing a surprisingly good job of holding her up.

“Yeah”. Shezow had enough strength to roll her eyes, Boxter noticed, resisting the urge to do the same. “If by okay you mean feel like I was hit by a truck. I’m in need of some shellac, asap.”

Boxter quickly found himself outside of the conversation, and at a complete loss for what the duo were talking about.

”You’re out? I-“.

“You told me to restock, I know! I forgot. Besides, that’s what your for, hmm?”.

“Mhmm”. Her sidekick proudly nodded. “Good thing I’m a super responsible awesome sidekick then! I’ve got some in the car, c’mon”.

He waits until he sees them duck into the car, before turning away, heading back to the scene of the crime. Technically, he should’ve tried to arrest her. And it had been tempting for a moment, he wouldn’t lie. 

But… she did stop the villain and get herself hurt in the process. Boxter wasn’t a complete and total jerk. He could let her go- just this one time.. Next time though, he’s cuffing her on sight. 

He still doesn’t like her.

Chapter Text

Boxter really doesn’t know what he did to deserve this. 

When his superior told him that the city was going to be implementing stronger bonds between the police force and the cities prime superhero, he’d felt a strike of nerves hit his spine.

Surely it wouldn’t lead to anything good, besides those no good do-gooders getting off scott free for even more property damage and reckless endangerment. 

And then he’d had to stand by at city council hall meeting and watched as Shezow shook hands and made nice with the mayor and the police chief, while making plans to congregate and cooperate.

”After all”. The Mayor stated in a speech directed towards the local news crew, who’s cameraman made sure to get good shots of the hero and politicians together. “We’re both working toward the same goal of protecting our beautiful city. Why not work together to achieve that!”.

Shezow pasted her trademark paparazzi grin onto her face while winking towards the cameras, and Boxter had to resist the urge to roll his eyes. 

He wasn’t even entirely sure how he ended up being the one selected and unceremoniously placed on Shezow babysitting duty. He certainly wasn’t the only one who disliked the hero, judging by the multiple dirty looks the hero received as entered the bullpen of the Megadale police department. Her shoulders were tense and her eyes were focused on the ground, clearly as uncomfortable with being here as everyone else was with her presence. 

Boxter hadn’t been expecting the way her eyes widened and she immediately beelined right to his desk, and even less did he expect the strained and awkward smile- that was more of a grimace- that she sent his way. “Hi”.

Boxter raised an eyebrow. “...Hi?”.

Should he be arresting her? Was she turning herself in?

”Ah, you two have met!”.

The chief of police suddenly materialized from out of nowhere, clapping a hand onto both of their shoulders. Boxter-embarrassingly- startled, and was only slightly mollified by the fact that the pink clad superhero did the same. 

“Oh, we’ve met before”. Shezow said warily, eyeing Boxter with a mix of disdain and something else that he couldn’t name. 

“So you know each other, perfect! Well that certainly makes this easier”. The chiefs cheery grin could not mean anything good.

Shezow glanced towards Boxter as if he was in on whatever this was, and he resented the fact that they were both sharing a look of confusion and upset, so he quickly turned back to face the chief. “Makes what easier?”. Boxter asked with narrowed eyes.

”Well, word on the street is that Miss. Shezow here has a penchant for being a bit…rough with the city’s infrastructure. So the mayor thought pairing her up with a responsible, experienced, and upstanding officer would help nullify that!”.

Boxter got a sinking feeling in his gut. “Mhmm. And that means?”.

The chiefs grin got even wider, if that were possible. ”And you’re one of the most responsible officers we’ve got! A senior on the force, and you’ve got expirience with kids!”.

“Uh, I’m not a kid”. Shezow protested. 

”Yeah, keep telling yourself that”. Boxter couldn’t bite back the snarky comment, ignoring the glare the heroine shot his way afterwards. 

The chief chuckled. “You’re getting along already! Boxter, in my office?”. He turned to Shezow. “Wait here Miss Shezow. And please make yourself comfortable”.

Boxter hesitated at the though of leaving the heroine at his desk alone, but an ask from the chief wasn’t something to be questioned and he reluctantly followed behind the man towards his office, leaving a bewildered heroine behind at his desk. 

-

“You want me to do what?” Boxter questioned incredulously, hoping this might be a prank or that he’d misheard the chiefs words. 

”Mentor her. Show here the ropes”. The chief repeated, his cheery demeanor dropped now that the superheroine wasn’t nearby. “C’mon Hamdon! You’re one of our most experienced officers! And you two seem to already have a good rapport”.

”We do not have a rapport. We can hardly stand each other!”. Boxter protested, thinking back to the many spats he’d had whenever he and Shezow crossed paths. “Just last week I was trying to arrest her”.

“Well that was last week. This week you’re ..steering her onto the right track for the good of the city”. The chief spoke the words clumsily as he glanced down at a few papers that sat on the middle of his large desk. 

Boxter clued in rather quickly. “Wait, is all this coming from the mayor?”.

The chief gave a half-hearted shrug. “Look Hamdon, the city higher ups are really busting my balls about this. I think you’re the best person here to rein her in, and hmm what else? Oh yeah, I’m your boss, so you don’t have much of a choice. You’re doing it”. He ordered, and went back to the papers on his desk, shuffling them around and spoke without looking back up at Boxter. “Dismissed officer”.

-

Boxter comes back to find the superheroine sitting on his desk, lazily swinging her feet, having apparently shoved some of his papers and other clutter on his desk aside to make room for herself. 

“Hey! Off my desk, now!”. He says, and she grumbles but surprisingly complied, sliding off his desk with the slightest bit of haste.

“Okay okay, yeesh”. She says while he busies himself with reorganizing his work station. “Just didn’t wanna steal your seat or whatever”. She lazily gestured to the brown swivel chair that he drags closer and drops himself down onto.

“Well my desk isn’t a seat. And as long as you’re here, you’re supposed to answer to me, got it?”.

Shezow scowled, raising an eyebrow. “Says who?”.

“Says the mayor apparently. According to him I’m.. mentoring you”. He says the word as though it deeply offends him, and Shezow seems to feel the same way, because she squawks “what?!” so loudly that several heads turn her way to glare at her. The heroine sheepishly winced and let out an awkward laugh. 

“Sorry”. 

Her cheeks stayed flushed with embarrassment for a moment until the staring stopped, and she turned back to scowl at him, and -thankfully- complain more quietly. “I don’t need to be mentored! I’ve got this superhero thing totally figured out!”. She crossed her arms. 

Boxter furrowed his brow, not even entirely sure where to start on his disagreements with that statement. “In the past week alone, you’ve totaled several vehicles, damaged public property, and had multiple altercations with villains. And you don’t think that warrants some doubt of your skills?”. 

“Hey, don’t like patronize me or whatever, I do not need your help of all people”.

“Oh what’s that supposed to mean?”. Boxter glowered. 

“You don’t even like me”. Shezow snaps, sounding somewhat genuinely hurt, but before Boxter can fully register that, she continued. “And when he said senior officer earlier he must’ve meant senior citizen. There’s nobody.. I dunno, cooler here?”.

Boxter’s temper automatically flares. ”Are you calling me old?! Hey, I’ve been protecting this city since you were probably in diapers!”.

”Okay, how old do you think I am? Seriously?!”.

”Uh, excuse me-“.

He and Shezow turned at the same time to snap at whoever was interrupting their argument. “What!”. They spat. 

Boxter immediately recognize his partner, Wackerman, who flinched away from being shouted at by the odd duo in front of him.

“I just wanted to.. check in. Just heard about the uh, situation”. He murmured, shorting the briefest glance at the superhero stood by his partners desk. 

Boxter gave a withering sigh as Shezow frowned at the descriptor used for her, and Wackerman shuffled around awkwardly at the tense vibe in the cubicle. 

“It’s not by choice”. Boxter grumbled at the same time Shezow grumbled. “It’s not like I wanna be here”. 

“Are you guys gonna keep talking in sync, because it’s kinda creeping me out?”. Wackerman asked, and this time Shezow let out the sigh instead. 

“Okay, neither of us want to be doing this. But your boss is making you and my… assistant?”. She hesitated on the word but continued anyways. “Is kinda making me do it anyways. Can’t we just ignore each other as much as possible?”.

”Your assistant?”. Boxter questioned, curiosity immediately peaked. Shezow wasn’t necessarily secretive, the hero could hardly keep her mouth shut whenever a news camera or live-streaming fans phone was shoved in her face, but there was still quite a bit of mystery surrounding how she operated. If she had meant her sidekick, she certainly would’ve said so. Just how big was her team?

”Don’t worry about it”. She waved off his question with a gaudy pink gloved hand. “I just mean like, theres gotta be a way we can do this without constantly being at each other’s throats?”.

“Can I make a suggestion?”. Wackerman sheepishly asked, raising his hand as though he were a student in a school classroom and not an officer in a police station. When neither the superheroine or his fellow officer stopped him, he continued. “Why don’t you try..actually becoming friends and working together?”.

Boxter and Shezow looked at him with disbelieving and incredulous gazes, before they both shared a brief but sharp agreeing look and once again spoke in unison.

“Absolutely not”.

”Not gonna happen.” 

Chapter Text

“Would you stop fidgeting! It’s driving me nuts!”.

Boxter snapped for what felt like the tenth time in the past few minutes, turning to glare at the pink spandex clad heroine in the passenger seat beside him.

The unlikely duo were sat in Boxter’s police car, as they had been for about the past forty-five minutes-just barely bordering on an hour. The Megadale city skyline was sparkling in the night, with its few small skyscrapers dimly twinkling in lieu of many actual stars. All in all, it seemed to be leading to a peaceful night. All was quiet… but that was just the problem.

It was too quiet!

Shezow turned to him with a scowl. “It’s been over an hour! I’m getting restless!”. She crossed her arms in frustration. “Where is this guy?”.

“It’s barely been an hour! Stakeout’s aren’t like in the movies you know? It can take all night, the perp isn’t exactly on a schedule!”.

Shezow groaned, sliding down in her seat in obvious annoyance. “I just really thought this would be cooler”. 

Boxter huffed. “Yeah well, I was hoping to have a peaceful night on a solo stakeout without babysitting a chatty superhero complaining all night, so I guess we both get to be disappointed”.

There was a bout of silence before Shezow started tapping her heeled boot against the floor, bouncing her leg while absentmindedly checking the window for their suspect as though they would suddenly show as if on cue.

”Knock it off!”

”Sorry!”. Shezow raised her hands placatingly. “This is just so boring!”.

”Hate to burst your bubble, but stakeouts usually are”. Boxter moved to nab a sprinkled donut from the small box sat on the cars center console. “Can’t you just go on your phone or something? Isn’t everyone your age addicted to ‘em?”.

Shezow pouted, rolling her eyes, looking like the epitome of a melodramatic teenager. Once again Boxter absentmindedly wondered how old the hero actually was. But he doesn’t have much time to ruminate on the thought before she’s scoffing at him.

“That is such an old person thing to say”. 

Boxter’s brows furrowed. “There it is again, you know your whole generation is so disrespectful-“

”For the love of god, can we please just sit here in silence!”. The hero snapped, and the car fell into a tension filled quiet before she added a muttered. “I don’t even know why I’m here”. 

”That’s the one thing we can agree on”. Boxter grumbled, going to snag a donut from the box on the center console, and taking an unnecessarily aggressive bite out of the sprinkle covered confection. He then grimaced at the sight of bright pink frosting. When the chief had approached him with a sly grin earlier this afternoon about the upcoming stakeout for a thief who had been recently striking small pawn shops across crown, Boxter had immediately known that his boss was going to say something he didn’t like.

He just wasn’t expecting to be put on babysitting duty. 

At least not so soon anyways. It had hardly even been a month since Shezow had started collaborating with the Megadale police. Boxter had been dreading the entire affair since he’d been made aware of it, but at first it hardly seemed to be a big deal. The heroine wasn’t there every single day, so far she’d only came into the station twice. The very first day when they’d argued- nothing new there- and then again two days later, to check in with the chief in some private office meeting that no one else was privy to.

Wackerman had tried to make small talk of it with Shezow as she’d loitered by their desks for the chief to call her in, casually digging for any gossip, but the heroine had been unusually tight lipped and very clumsily changed the subject. Which was why now there was a small betting pool over what she and chief had discussed.

Boxter had stayed out of it- partially due to his maturity, partially because he really couldn’t think of a good enough excuse. So far the prevailing theories he’d overheard by the water cooler out in the breakroom were related to blackmail, Shezow secretly being the chiefs daughter, or -Boxter’s least favorite- some sort of romantic entanglement between the city’s main heroine and the chief of police. 

What a headline that would make, right?

But all that aside, Boxter had almost forgotten that he’d been saddled with the position of essentially babysitting a superhero, until the chief had unceremoniously parked Shezow at Boxter’s desk that afternoon, and said nothing other than. “Enjoy your new stakeout partner” before he’d disappeared back into his office, leaving both the officer and superheroine and their loud protests behind him without a second glance.

And now here Boxter was, stuck in his police cruiser waiting for any sign of their target and with a grouchy superhero sat next to him. 

He glanced at her from of the side of his eye, and frowned up just at the sight of her, slouched in the passenger seat with her arms crossed and a glower on her face. She was just so immature! And Boxter should know, he had two teens at home for goodness sakes, he knew all about unnecessary dramatics and immaturity. If he had to get between another one of the twins incessant arguments again, he swore he was gonna lose it! 

“Hey! Feet off the dash!”. He snapped, and watched as the heroine reluctantly pulled her shiny white go-go boots off of the car’s dashboard. “Don’t kids have any respect these days?”.

“My bad! Yeesh. Y’know you don’t always have to be so uptight?”.

She hardly seemed apologetic but Boxter really didn’t have the patience to start up another one of their bickering sessions, so he just bites his tongue, and the awkward tense silence doesn’t take long to return.

-

Guy was bored.

Bored with a capital B! Seriously, in every action movie he’d ever seen, the stakeouts never lasted this long. The criminal in question was usually immediately spotted and then actually cool stuff got to happen! Like fighting and maybe an explosion if you were lucky. And yet he’d been sat here for what felt like forever at this point with nothing suspicious in sight.

And stuck with his dad of all people. Which he wouldn’t have minded if he wasn’t in a mini skirt, fishnets, and a cape right now.

This was making out to be one very crappy ‘take your kid to work’ day.

He halfheartedly apologized as he slid his boots off the dashboard before his dad could have a total conniption. 

“My bad. Yeesh, y’know you don’t always have to be so uptight?”. He couldn’t help but snark. He mouthed off a lot more to his dad when he was in costume, he found. Sometimes it just slipped out, especially knowing his dad couldn’t exactly ground him for any of it. It did feel good to get some of his grievances off his chest. But the feeling from how his dad seemed to detest him on sight just made him queasy.

His dad just sighed and went to mess with the radio scanner, and Guy tapped his fingers restlessly on his lap. He couldn’t even pull out his phone because his dad would surely recognize his graffiti style phone case- he was the one who paid for it after all. 

After another few minutes, with Guy barely resisting the itch to start foot tapping again, he groans. “Well how long does this usually take? Like rough estimate?”. His tone somewhat pleading. 

His dad sighs, long and drawn out, the exact same way he does when he gives in for one of Guy’s ridiculous requests at home. “Look, sometimes the perp doesn’t even show up. The stakeout, it’s just a precaution. If we’re lucky we see something, and if not…”. His dad shrugged nonchalantly as if he hadn’t just revealed that they could be doing this all night for absolutely no reason.

“What?!”. Guy threw his hands up in exasperation. “Great, so we could be totally wasting our time? This blows!”. 

“You know what pisses me off most about you?”. His dad suddenly snapped, whipping towards him with a furious expression. Guy immediately shut his mouth so hard that his teeth clicked together. 

“It’s that you never take anything seriously! You goof off and you act like this is just a game! As much as I hate to admit it, people depend on you to keep them safe and you-“. He cut himself out, still seemingly seething. “You just waste it playing hero, as if your actions don’t have any consequences!”.

Guy ignored the queasy feeling in his gut and how his entire body felt hot from embarrassment. “You think I don’t know that?! I take things seriously! I just don’t have a constant stick up my ass like you!”. He shouts and immediately slaps a gloved hand over his mouth.

Even though he knows his dad is entirely unaware of his secret identity, the glare from the man now made Guy feel as though his dad was looking straight through his costume and past Shezow, and right at Guy Elias Hamdon. It sends an unpleasant shiver down his spine.

“I may not know how old you are. But I know that you really need to grow up”. Boxter says, and the argument is clearly over for him. The anger is still obvious in how tense his shoulders are, but he turns away to fiddle with the station radio, essentially abandoning the conversation.

Guy feels his temper sparking fiercely, anger flowing through him like molten lava. He hates feeling angry, he really does. But right now he’s so mad that he can’t even talk. He couldn’t argue with his dad even if he wanted to. 

So instead he roughly swings the cruisers car open, swiftly exits the car, and slams the door behind him so hard that part of the door dents. He doesn’t even glance at it as he starts to strut away down the street. He tries to stomp but any form of walking in his costumes boots usually turns out as a strut regardless. 

He flips his hair over his shoulders and tries to focus on breathing, and belatedly realizes there are tears threatening to slip from his eyes. He rapidly blinks his long lashes. Great. If there was any he hated worse than being angry it was crying.

“Are you alright sweetheart?”. He’s only walked a block or two before Sheila’s staticky voice echoes out from The Ring on his finger. The police station where he’d parked the Shehichle for the night isn’t too far, and while he could just use his super speed but he wants to walk. He needs time to think. 

“I’m fine”. He says with some finality, and then immediately feels bad for being snippy when Sheila hasn’t done anything wrong. “I just… I just need a minute?”.

”Take all the time you need, Dear”. Sheila says with a comforting tone, before it goes quiet again, and then he’s left alone with nothing but the sounds of the city and of his go-go boots clicking on the pavement.