Chapter 1: The Why
Chapter Text
Leo glared hard at the face of the training dummy. He took a deep breath to try and calm his growing frustration with it and regain focus.
As he stared at the dummy, he tried to remember each part of the new move he was currently trying to teach himself using Master Splinter's books and scrolls. Now that his father was no longer here, he needed to make sure he learned everything he possibly could so he could teach his brothers. He needed to make sure he got it perfect, no matter how many times he had to try.
He hesitated for a moment before attempting to perform the move again. It came out as a sloppy combination of punches and kicks that ultimately left Leo falling onto his shell, holding his face as he struggled to keep himself from screaming in anger.
Who was he kidding? He could hardly perform even the basics anymore without feeling like he was going to pass out, it was the reason he hadn't insisted on training sessions or patrols with his brothers for weeks.
He hadn't slept well ever since Splinter died, his mind plagued by nightmares and countless thoughts and questions he could no longer talk to his father about. He was lucky if he got even an hour of sleep each night.
His stomach was also making him pay for how little he'd been eating, making him feel like he might start throwing up the few snacks he ate earlier. He just couldn't bring himself to eat much, especially not around his brothers. He didn't have the energy to talk to them, and it felt like every time he saw them there was this tension. They had this look in their eyes, like they were just on the verge of starting a conversation Leo did not want to have.
He was letting them down, failing their father's final wishes. They needed him to be strong, to be someone they could trust, and he couldn't even take care of himself. But that's why he was here right? He had to keep trying, to push through the urge to give up and stay down. If he could just prove to himself that his struggles couldn't stop him from progressing, then he might be able to get better and be the leader his brothers needed now more than ever.
So he forced himself back to his feet, wanting to try the move again. Instead though, the movement caused a wave of dizziness and made him stumble. His body felt heavy, and the world seemed to be spinning in a blur of colors around him as darkness started to enter his vision. Just as he felt himself falling towards the floor and the world started turning black, he heard someone calling his name and several pairs of hands grabbing onto him.
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Things couldn't keep going on like this.
The turtles stared at their unconscious brother as he laid on a table in the lab, each of them feeling concerned. Donnie had said Leo wasn't hurt, he was only suffering from exhaustion due to a combination of malnutrition and a lack of sleep. Which wasn't necessarily good, but at least he didn't seriously hurt himself.
It wasn't hard to see why Leo had passed out, just looking at him made it clear that he hadn't been taking care of himself. There were bags under his eyes, and he clearly lost weight, though it wasn't too severe yet. They could also see, and somewhat smell, signs that he hadn't even been bathing.
They knew this should've been addressed more seriously a long time ago. Each of them had tried to offer their clearly struggling brother help multiple times or at least get him to spend time with them, but Leo had rebuked them and isolated himself more and more over the past couple of months. He'd even stopped training with them after Raph had pointed out how sloppy his movements had become, the two of them arguing before Leo locked himself in his room. Raph hadn't meant for things to turn out like that, he just didn't want to ignore what was going on and hoped that maybe his brother would be willing to admit he needed help if he knew the others could see it too, that he couldn't and shouldn't hide it.
Leo was starting to wake up, causing each of his brothers to glance at each other, silently trying to figure out what to say and who should be the one to say it. Who could get Leo to actually listen?
Donnie took a deep breath and tried to put on a gentle smile as Leo sat up, trying to figure out how to approach this without making Leo feel threatened. "Hey Leo, how are you feeling?" he asked, sounding more nervous than he meant to.
Leo groaned. "Wha...?" he mumbled, looking at them with confusion before his expression changed to a weird mix of embarrassment and anxiety. "Oh, um...I'm fine." he said as he stared at a far wall, determined to avoid looking any of his brothers in the eyes.
Raph scoffed at that. "Really? 'Cause last time I checked; people don't randomly pass out when they're 'fine'!" A glare from Donnie got him to be quiet, though Raph held a determined expression that showed he stood by what he said.
"What Raph means to say is," Donnie said as he turned his gaze back to Leo, trying to keep both his tone and expression gentle, "We're worried about you. We've noticed that you haven't been acting like yourself lately and what just happened in the dojo only makes us even more certain that you need help-"
"I said I'm fine!" Leo cut him off, quickly standing up from the table. The sudden movement caused some dizziness, but he was able to regain his footing and glared at his brothers defiantly. His glare was particularly focused on Donnie, who had reached out a hand in worry when he saw Leo stumble. He quickly slapped Donnie's hand away from him. "I'm the head of this clan now, that means I need to be able to handle things on my own!" He started to walk towards the lab doors, "You guys should focus on yourselves until I can get things back to normal again." He finished, wanting to avoid any further discussion. He was irritated when he found Mikey standing in his way, which got even stronger as Raph moved to help their baby brother block Leo's exit.
"Come on dude! I get that being the leader means a lot to you, but you're our brother too!" Mikey pleaded, his tone desperate. "We hardly get to see you anymore, but when we do you look like you're just getting worse every day!"
Leo was about to speak, but Raph quickly added his own thoughts before he could utter a single word. "What exactly do you think is gonna happen if you keep doing this to yourself?" He quickly stepped right in front of Leo, putting one accusing finger on his plastron as his older brother glared down at him. "I'll tell you what's gonna happen, you're going to pass out again and we might not be there when it happens! And in case you forgot-" Raph spread out his arms, gesturing to the lab and by extension, their whole home. "-the lair is made out of brick and concrete! You could crack your skull open next time you fall to the ground because you refuse to sleep or eat something!"
Leo backed away a few feet from Raph. "That's why most of the dojo's floor is covered in mats, so there's something to soften any falls we have since that's the natural consequence of our training." He said mechanically, just wanting Raph to leave him alone. "And I do eat, Raph."
"The occasional snack isn't enough to keep you going Leo. Especially when you keep trying to train non-stop." Donnie countered, stepping a bit closer to Leo who glared at him from over his shoulder. "You're already training too much even if you were eating and sleeping well, so trying to do it while you're basically running on fumes is even worse!" He added, his frustration with his stubborn brother finally entering his voice.
"I can handle this myself! I get that you guys are worried, but I have things under control." Leo insisted, his tone aggravated and expression desperate to convince them. "If I really needed help, then I would come to you guys. But I don't, so leave me alone." He finished, roughly pushing Raph to the side and making a run for the door before his brother could process what just happened. His run was brought to an abrupt stop as someone bearhugged him from behind, holding him in place.
He could practically hear the tears in Mikey's voice as he continued to plead. "Leo, please. I don't want to lose you too."
"None of us do." Donnie added, his tone similarly desperate.
"We aren't going to let you keep pushing us away." Raph said, his voice losing its anger but keeping a resolute tone. Then he added in a softer, pleading tone, "We love you man."
Leo found himself frozen in place for a moment. It broke his heart to hear the pain he was causing all of them, especially when he knew they were right. He was hurting himself, punishing himself for his failure to protect their father, and he was hurting them in the process. Despite this, he just couldn't bring himself to stop. Some part of him felt like if he did, then he'd shatter completely and he didn't want his brothers to see that. Both because he hated the idea of them having to help him when they're already going through their own pain, and some small, secret part of him didn't trust them to not make things worse.
The moment broke when he heard the sound of two sets of approaching footsteps behind him. He didn't want Raph and Donnie to hug him, it was hard enough to keep it together with Mikey desperately clinging to him. He'd break if all of his brothers hugged him, things would feel too real.
So he broke out of Mikey's hold and dashed into his room, closing and locking the door behind him. He slowly sat down on the floor, his shell leaning against the door. He sat there for a few minutes, trying to calm himself down. He couldn't help but be relieved when his brothers didn't try to come to his door.
Shame quickly replaced that relief, making Leo put his face in his hands. What was he doing? Hiding from his brothers, thinking of them almost like enemies he needed to avoid at all costs? Because he wasn't strong enough to stop himself from sinking into his grief?
He curled up against the door. Even in the privacy of his own room he refused to let himself cry.
Outside Leo's room, his brothers stared at where Leo went from just beyond the lab's door. Mikey was wiping tears that had escaped his eyes, Donnie wore a very worried look on his face, while Raph's expression was one of both frustration and determination.
They all looked at each other, nodding in silent understanding before going back into the lab and closing the door behind them.
Chapter 2: The Plan
Chapter Text
It was about a week before Raph approached Leo again.
Leo was sitting against the tree in the dojo, trying to muster up the energy to start training again. Once he saw Raph approaching though, he quickly got back on his feet while hoping that his brother somehow didn't spot him sitting down. He stumbled a bit before trying to take on a more confident stance as he eyed the other turtle warily, initially expecting another confrontation until he took a closer look at his normally hotheaded sibling. Raph seemed nervous as he approached, hiding his hands behind his back. "Hey Raph." Leo attempted to greet him casually, though his tone gave away that he was feeling suspicious.
Raph's eyes glanced around the room a bit, his feet fidgeting a bit before he finally took a breath and looked Leo in the eye. "Hey, so um...sorry about being a bit of a jerk a few days ago." He said, voice quiet and uncertain before he continued. "It's just...you know that when one of you guys are seriously hurting it makes me worried and when I get worried it...comes out wrong."
Leo blinked a bit in surprise, he hadn't expected Raph to apologize. He seemed so adamant that he was right before, and Raph wasn't the type to apologize if he really thought he was doing the right thing. It was even harder for his brother to admit when his anger was masking more vulnerable emotions, like concern. "It's fine Raph, I...I shouldn't have gotten so angry either. I promise I'll be fine, so you guys don't need to be worried about me, okay?" He said, both accepting the apology and trying to reassure his brother. "You guys are dealing with a lot right now, so I don't want..." No, he couldn't admit that he didn't want to burden them with his own feelings, that would just make them more worried. He took a deep breath before trying again, trying to put on a smile. "I want you guys to focus on healing and supporting each other."
"We're trying." Raph replied, his tone sounding like he was attempting to reassure Leo as well. "I know things have been hard on you too and I'm probably not the best at the whole 'emotional support' thing, but I still wanted you to know that I...I care about you, so I made you something."
Oh, so that's why Raph was hiding his hands behind his back. Leo couldn't help but be curious, despite how artistic his younger brother was it was rare for him to gift the things he makes to others.
Slowly, movements and expression still full of uncertainty, Raph presented what he'd made for his older brother. Leo's eyes widened when he saw it. It was a knitted doll of Master Splinter. He gently took the doll from his younger brother's hands, staring into its amber colored eyes. The amount of detail Raph put into it was amazing, it was like he was really staring at a smaller version of their late father. This fact caused a lot of mixed emotions in him. One part of him was upset and even a little angry, a doll couldn't replace Master Splinter and it hurt to be reminded of him. He knew that wasn't what Raph intended though, and his brother clearly put a lot of care into this gift. This was a desperate attempt to reach Leo in some way, so rejecting it could shatter Raph emotionally and he'd already hurt all of his brothers enough with his continued refusal for any direct help. The least he could do was accept a well-meant gift.
He looked at Raph and smiled a little wider, trying not to give away that he was close to crying at the fresh reminder of their loss. "Thanks Raph, I'm gonna go put it in my room."
Raph seemed extremely relieved when he heard that, visibly relaxing and smiling. "Good. I know it's not much, but I made it so you know that we're here and thinking about you too. You know that, right?"
Leo hesitated for a moment before nodding. "Of course I know that. I'll...I'll see you later." He said before making his way out of the dojo, he looked around and saw that the living room was empty. Good, he didn't want to be asked any questions about why he suddenly had a doll of Splinter. This was not only because of personal embarrassment, but Raph would probably be embarrassed if the others learned he'd made a toy for their big brother. He quickly made his way to his room, placing the doll on top of his drawers.
He stared at it again for a long moment, trying to figure out what exactly he wanted to do with the doll. Keeping it out in the open didn't feel quite right, coming into his room to see a miniature version of his father each day sounded like a bad idea for his already bad emotional state. He couldn't bring himself to just bury or hide it somewhere in his room either though, it was a gift that clearly meant a lot to Raph for him to accept given how nervous and vulnerable he'd acted. He sighed, deciding he'd come back to it when he attempted to go to bed later.
A week ago, after Leo ran from the lab
Leo's brothers were gathered in the lab with the doors firmly shut, ready to discuss and figure out a plan on how to stop their big brother's spiral into self-destruction.
"So, trying to talk to Leo is clearly not working. We've all tried reaching out to him on our own, then confronting him together, but he's too stubborn to admit he needs help and keeps pulling away from us. If things don't change soon, his neglect could cause him more lasting harm, meaning it is time for us to take more drastic action. Do you guys have any ideas?" Donnie asked, having led the last couple of discussions they'd had when they realized how serious the situation was getting.
"Maybe doing it together could've worked if someone had been nicer about it." Mikey mumbled bitterly under his breath, his attitude having slowly grown more sour as Leo pulled himself away from them.
"Oh, come on! Since when does 'being nice' get through to Leo!? Like Donnie said, he's too stubborn to really listen to anybody, so we have to get him to realize what he's doing is hurting all of us, not just him!" Raph countered, still riding on the frustrated energy from their failed confrontation. "Maybe we should just strap Leo to a bed, then we can take care of him even if he doesn't want us to!"
Donnie took a deep breath, trying to keep himself calm enough to be a voice of reason for his much more emotionally driven brothers. "That would have extreme negative effects on our relationship with Leo, Raph. He'd be even less likely to trust us in the future to help him when he starts struggling again, and we'd also have to start worrying about his muscles atrophying and his mind getting effected from lack of activity and having his ability to seek out stimulation cut off."
For once he was happy to see Raph struggling to comprehend what he just said, if his hotheaded brother was focused on trying to figure out just what Donnie was talking about, then that meant at least a few moments of not having to deal with him being angry about the situation. Mikey on the other hand, didn't actually look confused, his eyes had actually widened a bit during Donnie's counter argument as if he had a sudden thought.
"I think I have an idea on what we could do." Their baby brother offered before quickly adding, "But you guys have to promise to hear me out! Don't just say 'that's crazy' and brush it off!" his eyes narrowed as he looked at the others, making it clear that whatever he had to say wasn't a joke.
Both turtles blinked a bit in shock, surprised at how determined Mikey seemed to be. The Donnie answered, "Okay, we promise we'll listen and actually discuss whatever idea you've got." he said sincerely. "Right Raph?"
He'd honestly give anything a shot at this point. Besides, Mikey had good ideas that worked in the past, maybe he'd surprise them again. "Yeah, just tell us what you're thinkin'."
The smaller turtle looked at both of them again before taking a deep breath. "Maybe we could try hypnotizing him so he'd let us help?" He said, his voice uncertain. He didn't know if his brothers would keep their promise of considering what he had to say.
Raph and Donnie looked at each other for a long moment. The idea sounded crazy, normally they'd never consider messing with any of their brothers' minds. Things had become desperate though, and Leo seemed like he'd sooner die than willingly accept their help. Donnie was the one that spoke next. "Go on?"
Mikey's eyes widened in surprise before he smiled, now feeling more confident. They were actually willing to listen! "Well, you said Leo would be 'less likely' to trust us if we went with Raph's idea. So maybe that's why he won't let us help, he doesn't trust us enough!"
"What? We've all been through hell together! Why wouldn't he trust us to have his back!?" Raph demanded, feeling almost accused. The idea that after everything they went through together, Leo didn't trust a single one of them enough to help when he really needs it? He couldn't just accept that!
"I think what Mikey's trying to say is that, while Leo might trust us when it comes to life-or-death situations like battles and missions, things like his emotional state are a different story." Donnie offered, hoping that he was understanding what his younger brother was implying. "All of us have a hard time with being, well...vulnerable with each other." He admitted.
"I kinda meant more like him thinking that we'll make fun of him, or that we'll not trust him as much if he admits that he can't do this by himself. But what you said works too!" Mikey clarified, though he didn't disagree with what Donnie said.
Raph looked a bit skeptical. "So, we just hypnotize Leo and tell him to trust us or something? Is that what you guys are wanting to do?"
"I guess? I didn't really think about 'how' we'd do it, I just wanted to throw an idea out there." Mikey admitted.
"Maybe it would help us if we tried to figure out the root cause of Leo not trusting us with his emotions and what he actually has that kind of trust in?" Donnie offered.
It didn't take long for Raph to think of an answer for one half of that question. "He used to talk to Splinter a lot. I mean, when we were stuck in space for six months he started talking to a hologram of him that the holodeck made. So it's pretty obvious that he depended on him a lot for his mental stuff."
Both Mikey and Donnie looked saddened at the mention of Splinter, but they both knew Raph was right. Donnie decided to start writing down some of the things they were talking about on a notepad so he could better organize their group's thoughts into an actual plan. "Now the question is, why doesn't Leo trust us with his emotions enough to talk to us like he did with Splinter?"
"Because Splinter is-was our father? I'm pretty sure most people don't come to their brothers when they're having problems." Raph said in a tone that made it clear that he found the answer to be so obvious that the question wasn't worth asking.
"I used to go to Leo when I had nightmares when we were still really little." Mikey pointed out before adding. "He's always kinda been the 'dad' when Master Splinter's not around."
Raph nodded. "I always hated how he'd try and act like he was the adult even though we're all the same age." Then he stopped to think about it. "Maybe he won't let us help because he still wants us to think of him like that? Especially now that Splinter is...gone. So he might think he needs to be what our father was to all of us?"
"That would make sense for Leo. He's always had pretty high expectations for himself." Donnie admitted, putting it on the notepad before looking at the others. "Do you guys have any ideas about how we'd use hypnosis to get Leo to trust us?"
Raph's eyes widened at that. " Wait, so we're actually doing this?" He asked, a bit surprised that they were seemingly staying with Mikey's idea.
"Maybe." Donnie replied. "It's the only idea we've got right now, and it would be good to have a more concrete plan in case we can't think of anything else."
Mikey seemed excited as he spoke. "Oh! Maybe we could make Leo think he's our little brother!"
"Younger brothers don't always listen to the older ones. Leo could still refuse help and avoid us like he is now even if we did that." Donnie pointed out, knowing that there were plenty of examples of themselves not listening to their big brother.
"Ooookay, maybe we could make him think he's like a kid or something?" Mikey offered. "And we could make him see us kinda like how he saw Master Splinter, people he can look up to and are here to take care of him?"
"And how exactly are we gonna mess with his head in the first place? It's not like what you see on TV where you swing a pendulum in someone's face and they're instantly under your control!" Raph questioned, still very much having doubts about this plan.
"Shini's able to do stuff like that." Mikey pointed out. "But that's not what I meant. I was thinking that Donnie could make something that could do it." He clarified, turning to his genius brother.
Donnie's eyes widened in surprise, before his expression shifted to a thoughtful one, actually contemplating how he could create such a thing. "Give me a minute." He said before he sat down and started making a rough sketch of the hypothetical device, listing out what he'd need to make it and how it would function. He'd need to create an actual blueprint later, but this was good enough to figure out the logistics of this current plan.
His brothers had very different reactions to seeing this. Mikey was brimming with excitement at how seriously Donnie was taking his idea, while Raph was extremely baffled that they were really considering going through with this. He couldn't bring himself to really stop them though, he really didn't have any better ideas beyond strapping Leo to his bed, and that thought was born more from frustration than consideration of how it would actually affect Leo.
It took a few minutes before Donnie finished his sketch and presented it to the others, even though he knew they probably wouldn't understand much of what he'd written down. "So, what I currently have in mind is a small object that will emit signals that will alter some of Leo's thought patterns. I was thinking of having a passive signal that'll help him get better sleep and possibly encourage his appetite, along with prepping his brain for the 'active' signal, which would be the one that would cause the more drastic changes to Leo's thought process."
Raph seemed to only get about half of that due to the speed at which Donnie was talking, while Mikey feigned understanding by nodding his head and saying 'uh huh' a few times during the explanation.
"There's one problem though." Donnie stated.
Raph quirked an eyebrow. "Just one?"
The other turtle continued, ignoring Raph's comment. "Since our goal is to help Leo, we need to make sure the signal doesn't cause his mind serious damage. We also need to make sure the signal only affects him and not any random person exposed to it. So, I'd say that we'd need to find a way for him to be exposed to the passive signal for a notable amount of time each day for...about a week could probably work? Ideally, this exposure would happen while he's asleep since the subconscious is easier to alter than waking consciousness, but since the signal is meant to encourage him to sleep anyway it's probably not worth talking about."
"Then why'd you bring it up?" Raph questioned, tone being somewhat annoyed.
"Mostly to explain why we shouldn't worry about getting affected if we end up being exposed to the signal a lot too, we just need to avoid falling asleep too often while directly exposed to it." Donnie said before continuing. "This exposure will condition Leo so that when the active signal is turned on it won't be as jarring for his brain. The problem is finding a way to get Leo exposed to the signal often enough for it to work."
"Are we going to be hiding this thing in his room?" The more hotheaded turtle asked, still bothered by the idea of making something that would mess with their big brother's brain like this.
"I don't think going into Leo's room to hide something is a good idea. I was thinking more like hiding it in something and giving it to Leo so that he'll put it in his room himself." Donnie clarified.
Mikey seemed very excited at that. "Raph could give him something as a gift!"
"What, why me!?" The turtle in question said, now irritated that he was suddenly getting roped into playing a bigger part in this crazy idea.
"You still like knitting, right?" Mikey asked, undeterred by his brother's clear reluctance.
"Um...well...I..." Raph stammered a bit, blushing as he mumbled under his breath. "Yeah...why are you bringing it up?"
The other turtle quickly wrapped an arm around Raph's shoulder, beaming at his brother's scowling face. "You can make a pillow or a doll that we can put Don's device thing in! That way we all have a part in this." He pointed to himself. "I came up with the idea." Then he gestured to Donnie. "Dee is gonna make the brain-changing thing." He finally poked Raph's cheek. "And you'll make what we hide it in! No one gets left out!"
Raph pushed his baby brother off him. "Maybe I don't want to have a part in this! You guys are talking about messing with Leo's brain!" He said as he pointed at his own head for emphasis. "That's the sort of thing the bad guys we fight do! It's just wrong!"
The other two turtles' expressions became a bit more sympathetic. "Again Raph, it's just an idea. But it's also basically the best plan we have right now. I know it's wrong, but Leo won't cooperate with anything more reasonable, and we can't just leave him to drown in his misery! If you have a better idea, then I'm more than willing to hear it." Donnie said, sincerely hoping that maybe his brother would come up with something that was less immoral.
The other turtle looked between his two younger brothers, both of their faces pleading. He tried to think of something, there were so many more reasonable things that should've been options, but Leo's actions had made it clear he wouldn't take any of them. He hated admitting it, but they were right. This plan was the best thing they had right now. Even if it meant doing something he knew was wrong to his big brother, it would be better than watching as he wasted away.
"Okay, fine. I'll do it." He relented.
A few days after Raph gave Leo the doll
Leo didn't know why, but after Raph gave him the doll it felt like things were finally starting to take a turn for the better!
He'd originally settled on covering the doll up with his old duck blanket and putting it against one of the walls in his room, that way it was still technically in plain sight, but he didn't have to see it and be reminded of his father each day. But as that first night progressed, he found himself being more drawn to it. Glancing at where he had it covered up several times before he eventually got out of bed and picked up the doll.
He'd brought it back to his bed and stared at it for a long time, it made him think back to his memories with the real Master Splinter. I made him a bit sad, but it also felt comforting now as he looked at it.
Deciding that it wouldn't hurt to do it just once, he held the doll close as he laid in bed, quickly drifting off into the best sleep he'd had in a long time. Then he did it again the next night, and the night after that. Something about the doll seemed to keep his nightmares and troubling thoughts that normally kept him awake at night from haunting his mind. He felt a little embarrassed at needing a toy to fall asleep, he was definitely not going to let his brothers ever find out, but it really was helping him.
Speaking of his brothers, he'd noticed something a bit odd happening in the lair. They seemed to be leaving random snacks around.
He hadn't noticed at first, the couple days it was a pretty reasonable amount in normal places for his brothers to have forgotten them as they did their routines. Leo had found himself eating these snacks, his stomach always growling at him when he noticed one and he couldn't ignore it as well as he had been the past couple months. He'd felt guilty, since his brothers may have wanted to come back for them later.
Then the amount slowly grew, some even appearing in the dojo. Leo was still training most of the day, but he found himself stepping out to search around the other rooms in the lair in hopes of finding more abandoned snacks. He tried not to do it in a way that made it obvious to his brothers, but he wasn't sure if he actually succeeded in that.
He only realized that it was probably intentional when he looked into the kitchen and saw a plastic bag with some grapes in it. None of his brothers just randomly ate grapes as a snack and it didn't make sense to abandon them if they did. He ate the grapes, feeling thankful that his brothers seemed to be trying to get him to eat without pressuring him into joining family meals like they were doing before.
Sleeping and eating better left Leo feeling more like himself again, but he still couldn't bring himself to stop his constant training or be around his brothers for too long. He still felt like he hadn't made much progress in his personal training, now needing to basically catch up to where he was before his insomnia and self-imposed starvation wrecked his ability to do even basic moves. He also felt a bit nervous at the idea of being around his brothers, worried they might make a comment or start another intervention that would shatter his currently fragile improvement.
He also wasn't really bathing still, though he was trying to at least wipe down the worst smelling or dirtiest parts of himself. That's better than what he was doing before though, which was literally not doing anything other than wash his hands and brush his teeth as his only forms of hygiene.
He'd get back to his old routines eventually. He'd be able to talk to his brothers and actually apologize for being a bit of a jerk to them during such a rough time, eventually. He would he just...wasn't ready yet.
Chapter 3: First Day part 1
Chapter Text
"Hey Leo, are you up yet?" Mikey asked as he peeked into his big brother's room, his tone timidly hopeful.
Leo groggily sat up in bed, before he realized that he was still holding onto the Splinter doll that Raph had given him, currently in plain view of his baby brother. He quickly tried to hide it under his covers before looking at Mikey for a moment to see if he'd react at all to seeing the doll. Mikey just continued to look at him expectantly, giving him a small smile and wave from the slightly open doorframe. Maybe he somehow didn't notice the doll? "I am now, what did you want Mikey?"
"I just thought I'd check if you wanted to eat breakfast with us." Mikey replied, his tone uncharacteristically even, but his eyes were a little pleading. "We haven't done that in a while, you know?"
They'd gone through this many times over the course of the past few months, Mikey approaching Leo and asking him to join meals again and him making some excuse not to or claiming he would 'in a minute' and just...not coming. Leo felt bad when he said he would and didn't go through with it. He'd meant it the first time, but when he was actually getting ready to eat with the others, he lost his nerve and locked himself in his room instead. Then it just became a force of habit so Mikey would leave him alone, which was why he said, almost reflexively, "Give me a minute."
Mikey's face immediately fell into a disappointed frown, before sighing. "Okay dude, see ya." He said before quietly closing the door.
Leo laid back down on his bed, staring at the ceiling and feeling horrible. He needed to stop avoiding his brothers, he knew that. He was doing better health-wise now that his ability to sleep had improved, along with now eating a bit more even if it still wasn't proper meals. Yet he couldn't seem to break the bad habits he'd developed that were damaging his relationships, not just with his brothers but with all their friends too. He couldn't remember the last time he'd actually left the lair; he just knew it was sometime before...
He sighed, laying back down on the bed and hugging the doll. It had become a massive source of comfort for him, it made him think of his father, it was soft and just...made him feel like everything was going to be okay.
Glancing at the clock, he noted that it was his normal time to get up. Instead though, he found himself nodding off again. A few more minutes of sleep couldn't hurt, right?
Leo quickly succumbed to sleep, holding the doll close.
About a half hour passed before the door was opened again, though this time Mikey actually entered the room and gently nudged Leo awake again. "C'mon dude, it's time to get up!" He said cheerfully, though his voice was quiet enough that he didn't startle his brother too badly.
"Wha?" Leo mumbled as Mikey guided him to sit on the bed. He saw his brother gather up his gear and bring it over to the bed. "Mikey, what are you doing?"
"Well, you were taking a while to get ready, so I'm gonna help you!" Mikey explained, a big smile on his face as he handed Leo his blue mask.
Leo hesitantly took the mask and quickly tied it around his head. He realized there was no getting out of this, his brother wasn't going to leave unless they were going together. "So, what are we having today?" He asked, sounding a bit awkward due to the whole situation being unexpected.
"Well, I was thinking of making some pancakes." Mikey said, gently taking one of Leo's hands and beginning to put on the wrappings. "How do you want yours? I've got a lot of stuff for 'em so you can ask for anything!"
Leo stopped to think for a moment. "I'd like blueberries in mine."
"Okay..." Mikey said a little absent mindedly as he looked over Leo's now wrapped wrist. "That's not too tight, is it?"
Leo flexed his wrist to test it. "It feels fine." He confirmed, before a thought occurred to him. "Why are you doing my wraps for me?"
Mikey shrugged. "Like I said, I'm helping you get ready. Do you want anything on your pancakes?" He asked as he started working on the other hand.
Leo blushed when the first thing that came to mind were those pancakes he'd seen where cute or silly faces were put on them. It would be childish to ask Mikey for that though, he wasn't even sure why he'd consider it. "Surprise me." he decided, figuring his brother would probably go ahead and do something fun with it anyway.
After that Mikey started telling him about a crazy dream about having a space adventure with Crognard and a bunch of his toys and other cartoon characters, while continuing to put on the rest of Leo's wrappings. It felt weirdly nice, he hadn't realized how much he missed being close to his brothers. Mikey let him put on his belts along with his knee and elbow pads by himself, and the two of them quickly left for the kitchen.
Raph and Donnie were already seated. Their eyes widened in surprise at Leo before their expressions shifted into relieved smiles. This surprised Leo, he normally wasn't acknowledged when he'd come to eat with them. Then he remembered that it had been a few months since the last time he ate with his family, of course they'd be relieved that he'd finally joined a family meal. He felt a bit bad for that, but he couldn't help but smile back at them due to the small bit of attention.
Then he saw Mikey getting a slightly smaller chair and putting it next to the one where Leo would normally sit before starting on breakfast. Why did he...?
He then realized he was holding the Splinter doll.
His face turned red from embarrassment. He hadn't meant to grab the doll, hadn't even realized he'd done it. He looked at his brothers for a long moment, not sure what he should do.
"Are you just gonna stand there all day? C'mon." Raph said, gesturing toward Leo's usual chair. There wasn't any annoyance in his tone like Leo would normally expect, there was actually some amusement and humor.
Leo looked at Mikey and Donnie. Mikey seemed engrossed in the task of making breakfast, already stirring up the batter for the pancakes. Donnie was just giving him a slightly pleading look. No one was acknowledging the doll at all. Would it be more embarrassing to turn around and have them ask why than it would be to just sit with them? He knew that they'd definitely be extremely disappointed in him if he went back to his room now. That was the last thing he wanted.
So he walked over and sat in the chair, sitting the doll on the smaller one next to him.
"So, Leo," Donnie started, trying to sound casual but a bit of nervousness still seeped into the tone, "me and the guys wanted to talk to you about something."
Leo felt anxious at that, he really didn't want to be stuck in another intervention, but he said nothing. Instead, he looked down at his hands and grasped them together tightly.
"Hey, you're not in trouble or anything." Raph reassured. "We just noticed that you've been training a lot lately and we don't get to see you much anymore, so we thought you could use a break and all of us can just hang out today."
Leo found some of the tension leaving his body at that. A break? He thought about it for a bit, letting himself feel his muscles that still ached even after he'd slept the whole night, looking back on all the times he'd wanted to collapse even after he started eating and sleeping better, how much he missed his brothers...a break sounded nice.
"Okay, what are we doing?" he asked, curious if his brothers had anything planned.
Donnie's expression brightened up at that. "Well, I've been working on something for the past few weeks and recently finished all the tests. How about we go to the lab after we eat so I can show it to you?" He asked, excitement clear in his voice.
Leo found himself feeling excited too, Donnie could make some really crazy and cool things. "That sounds great!" He then looked at Raph. "Do you and Mikey want to do something too?"
His brother shrugged. "We'll figure something out while you and Donnie check out whatever he's got in his lab."
Leo nodded, feeling like he'd be happy with doing whatever, even if it was something small like just watching movies. The next several minutes were spent chatting with his brothers about some of the things he'd missed out on over the last few months. It was really nice, like things were normal again. Why had he been avoiding everyone so much?
Then he heard the sound of whipped cream being sprayed and glanced over to where Mikey was seemingly putting the finishing touches on breakfast. It smelled really good and the realization that they'd get to eat soon got him very excited. He started to flap his hands against the table before he caught himself, blushing as he quickly hid his hands under the table. He was normally better at controlling himself than this...
Mikey beamed as he placed down everyone's plates. "Bone Apple Tea, messy ear!" He said with an exaggerated French accent that almost made Leo giggle.
"It's 'bon appétit, messieurs' Mikey." Donnie corrected before he started eating.
Leo looked down at his food and was happy, perhaps a bit too much so, to see that his pancakes were decorated to look like a lion's face. The mane and nose were made out of strawberry slices, banana slices for the ears, chocolate chip eyes and a mouth made out of whipped cream. Along with the pancakes, Mikey had made bacon and sunny side up eggs. He was quick to start gobbling it down, actually feeling eager to see how the day was going to go for the first time in a long while.
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He initially felt embarrassed when he almost instinctively grabbed Donnie's hand as they walked to the lab, clutching the doll close to his chest with the other arm. He would've pulled it away if his brother hadn't held on and gave the hand a gentle squeeze, silently reassuring him that it was okay. He relaxed, if Donnie wasn't bothered, then there was no harm in enjoying the closeness, right?
"It's over on my desk." Donnie said as the two of them entered the lab.
His big brother led him over to the desk, and Leo's eyes widened in fascination at what looked like a toy-sized robot that was standing on it. The robot wasn't quite as...clunky looking as Metalhead, instead its build heavily resembled Leo's own, and it had a really shiny and bright blue and white color scheme. Next to it was what looked like a big game controller, but with a lot more buttons with words on them.
There were so, so many buttons.
"Is it some kind of remote-controlled robot?" Leo asked.
"It is!" Donnie confirmed as he unplugged something from the back of the robot's shell. "This little guy is kind of an update on a mini-Metalhead project I had before. He's got a much longer battery life, and he has the most fluid movements out of all my robot-based projects so far."
The little robot then started moving as its previously pure black eyes suddenly lit up with a circle of blue lights that gave the illusion of irises. It stretched as if it was waking up before looking up at the two of them eagerly, hands on its hips. Leo couldn't help but think it was adorable.
"I also gave him a base personality to try and add a bit more character to how he follows the commands he's given." Donnie explained. "Mikey's been calling him 'mini-Leo' since I based him off of you."
"You based him off of me?" Leo questioned curiously, while he noticed the similarities, he thought that it may have been unintentional. "Why?"
"I'm hoping to make one for each of us and give them the ability to interact with each other. It'll take some time before I can finish the others though." Donnie answered.
The idea excited Leo a little bit. "So, why did you start making them?" He asked.
"Well, at first I was only planning on building this one as a gift to you. Then Mikey wanted one too, and that led to me wanting to make a whole set. It also gives me an excuse to try and experiment on programming individual personalities and then coding an interactable network between them and see how accurately I can make them simulate ourselves." Donnie rambled before adding, "While it could have a pragmatic purpose for missions or tasks, this is mostly one of the projects that I'm doing for fun."
Before Leo could reply, the two of them heard a tapping noise that prompted both of them to look at mini-Leo again. The robot now had his arms crossed over his chest and his eyes gave the illusion of quirking an eyebrow at them. The noise was caused by him tapping his foot against the desk. Once he knew he got their attention, he gestured towards the controller.
Donnie laughed in amusement at the robot's display of impatience before grabbing the controller and looking at Leo. "Do you want me to show you how he works?"
Leo nodded eagerly.
Donnie placed the robot onto the ground and started to show Leo how to use the controller. There was a small joystick to direct where mini-Leo would go, and a wide variety of buttons to give commands for specific actions.
Only a few buttons were used as examples, mostly so Leo knew what limits the robot had while letting him explore some of the options on his own. One of the buttons that really surprised Leo was the 'climb' one. Donnie pressed it when mini-Leo was facing the desk, and instead of attempting to just climb up the side or something, the little robot instead looked around as if planning out how to best get on the desk. He then got up onto the chair and made a jump for the top of the desk. He almost didn't make it, briefly gripping the edge of the desk before managing to climb on top, pumping both fists in the air in victory.
Leo laughed as the robot shuffled when the 'dance' button was pressed. Then Donnie used a block to show how the 'drop' and 'throw' buttons work. Apparently, the joystick could be used to help the robot figure out how far and at what angle the object should be thrown.
This had to be one of the coolest things Donnie ever made!
"You wanna try it out?" Donnie asked, offering the controller to Leo.
Leo was extremely excited at that and reached for the controller before remembering that he was still holding the Splinter doll. "Give me a sec." He said before placing it on the chair and quickly taking the controller from Donnie.
He played around with just the buttons for a while. He tried out some of the buttons Donnie hadn't shown him yet. One of them made mini-Leo act out ninjutsu moves, another was able to shift the robot's default walk into a full sprint, and he learned that the 'dance' button actually randomly picked one of many dances each time it was pressed instead of just shuffling.
Then him and Donnie started setting up stuff for the robot to do. They made a little obstacle course out of various things they found in the lab and had mini-Leo run through it. Using a small crumpled up ball of paper (Donnie didn't want to use a proper ball since it had a higher chance of breaking something) and a trash can they played a mini version of basketball. Leo also tried to see how high of a stack of objects the robot could make.
Eventually mini-Leo started looking exhausted, body slouching and putting his hands on his knees as if he was out of breath.
"He must be running low on battery." Donnie explained before picking the robot up. "I'm going to need to plug him back in to recharge. How about you go and see what Raph and Mikey are doing?"
"Oh, okay." Leo said as he picked up the Splinter doll again, feeling a little disappointed. "Are you gonna come too?"
"I've got a lot of things to do." Donnie admitted, giving Leo an apologetic look.
Now that made Leo even more disappointed, he'd been enjoying his time with Donnie and the two of them never really hung out like this. He gave his brother a pouty look.
"I promise that I'll hang out with you guys next time, okay?" Donnie offered, but Leo's only response was to give him a pleading look that was close to becoming puppy dog eyes. He sighed. "Alright, I'll try to get the things that absolutely need to be done finished as soon as I can and join you guys after that."
That brightened Leo's mood back up. "I'll see you later then!" He said, waving goodbye to his brother as he walked out of the lab.
Donnie smiled as Leo walked away, looking at mini-Leo and giving the little robot a thumbs up which was returned.
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Leo felt a little bit of embarrassment slowly sink in as he walked. Pouting at Donnie because he was too busy to hang out? What was he, a little kid? He knew Donnie was usually busy and he should've respected that, but...he wanted to spend time with all his big brothers together.
He shook his head. Little brothers, what was up with him today?
"Hey dude!" A cheerful voice greeted him as he approached the center of their living room.
Speaking of which. "Hey guys." He greeted, seeing his brothers sitting near the tv. Then he noticed all the things around them.
There was a large variety of cases full of colored pencils, markers, and crayons. He also saw a couple stacks of...coloring books? Yeah, they were coloring books and he realized that both of his brothers had one.
"Are you guys...coloring?" He asked, just to confirm he was seeing things correctly.
"It was Mikey's idea. We found a bunch of left over art stuff in our rooms and he thought we should put it to good use." Raph explained.
Mikey smiled up at Leo. "Yep! Are you okay with that? We can pick something else to do if you don't wanna color." He offered.
Leo sat down with them, sitting the doll on a cushion. "Isn't this kinda...Aren't coloring books for kids?" He asked, his tone uncertain as he picked up one of the boxes of crayons.
"They make adult ones too." Raph said as he showed the cover of the coloring book he was using, which showed the image of a mandala and explicitly said that it was for adults.
"Oh! I-I didn't know that." Leo admitted, now feeling embarrassed for thinking Raph was doing something childish.
Mikey leaned closer to Leo, whispering conspiratorially. "I looked at one of them, and they're really, really boring. It's just a bunch of pictures of stuff like flowers and animals with way too many lines." He showed his own coloring book, which had a cartoonish picture of a superhero beating up a giant squid-monster on the cover. "These are a lot more fun; they've even got little games in them!"
While the cover did catch some of his interest, he instead reached for one of the adult ones from the stack that was closer to Raph. "I think I'll be fine Mikey."
"Suit yourself." Mikey replied, shrugging his shoulders and returning to his own coloring.
Raph grabbed the remote and switched it to a channel showing Space Heroes.
This surprised Leo. "I thought you didn't like Space Heroes?" He teased.
Raph shrugged. "Nothing better is on." He claimed, before quickly changing the topic. "So, what was Donnie showing you?"
Leo perked up at the question. "It was this really cool little robot version of me!" He said before starting to look through the pages of the coloring book. "He had a remote control that Donnie showed me how to use and we did a bunch of stuff with him!"
He went into more detail about the time he spent with Donnie while coloring. He'd picked a picture of a garden with a pond and was initially trying to pick colors that would be accurate to reality. This quickly bored him though, so he tried doing things like coloring parts of the grass red and the trunk of a tree orange with yellow stripes. While that was more fun and he thought it made the picture prettier, he still didn't feel engaged enough to finish it. He flipped through the other pages to see if one of them would catch his eye.
Mikey had been right, most of the pictures were a bit boring. Pretty, but boring.
He found himself eyeballing the stack of coloring books for kids that was next to Mikey. He glanced at Raph and Mikey, who were focused on their coloring. Well, if Mikey was using the coloring books for kids, it couldn't be that big of a deal.
So, he grabbed the one on top of Mikey's stack. The cover had the image of a knight fighting a dragon on it. He picked a picture of a pirate that seemed to be stuck on an island with a mermaid in the water. As he started coloring, he felt his previous reservations fall away and relaxed.
Things went on like that for a bit, the three of them talking and coloring. Leo did several pages, one of a knight riding a horse, a dragon sleeping on its hoard of gold and gems, then he did a picture that asked him to draw what the wizard was levitating, and he decided to draw a vase. His brothers occasionally complimented his pictures, which made him happy.
He was trying to draw a path through a maze when he noticed his last brother walking up to them. "Donnie!" He said cheerfully as he waved at him. His voice was a slightly higher pitch than it normally was, but he didn't really notice.
Both Mikey and Raph were surprised to see their genius brother there. "Dude, I thought you were going to be busy until, like, lunch!?" Mikey said, sounding happy to see Donnie.
"Well, I didn't want to disappoint Leo." Donnie explained, setting down a large stack of papers on the ground before sitting next to Leo, who promptly hugged him. The hug startled Donnie for a second before he, somewhat awkwardly, returned the gesture.
After a few seconds Leo pulled away from the hug slightly, noticing what Donnie had brought. "What's all the paper for?" He asked, looking at the stack. It was mostly white paper, but there was a notable amount of other colors too.
Donnie also pulled away, ending the hug. "I've never really been a big 'coloring' person, so I thought I'd bring some papers to do some drawing instead."
"Let me guess, you're going to be drawing blueprints or something?" Raph questioned, his tone teasing.
Donnie looked a bit flustered at being called out. "Well, maybe, but I also got a lot of paper so you guys can draw too!" He offered, before quickly grabbing a sheet of paper and making a totally not work-related drawing because he is not a workaholic!
The rest of them also grabbed sheets of paper and started drawing. There wasn't as much talking as there had been when they were coloring, except for Mikey since he was basically allergic to silence and was now either asking Donnie random questions or talking to Leo about whatever thought popped into his head.
Leo was the first one to finish his drawing, which had the four of them standing victoriously over an unconscious giant monster. He showed it to his brothers. "What do you think?"
"It's super cool dude!" Mikey complimented. "You wanna see mine?" He asked, showing off his own drawing when Leo nodded. It was a giant cartoony goldfish with huge eyes seemingly flying in the sky, mouth open to eat a plane.
Leo laughed at how silly the goldfish looked before looking at Raph. "What's yours, Raph?" He asked.
Raph seemed to suddenly remember they were there, blushing before holding the paper a little closer to himself. "It's...not done yet." He said, sounding dismissive and embarrassed at the same time.
"Mine's not done either." Mikey pointed out. "I haven't finished coloring in the sky yet!"
"Well, mine's even less done than yours!" Raph claimed, some agitation seeping into his tone.
"C'mon Raph, I really wanna see what you're drawing! Please?" Leo pleaded, not understanding why his brother seemed so against showing them his work.
Raph briefly looked like he was about to yell, but he visibly wilted when he saw the look on Leo's face. He sighed, "It's...dumb."
"I'm not gonna make fun of it or anything, promise!" Leo said sincerely, moving a little closer to try and catch a glimpse of what Raph was working on.
"Yeah, we just wanna see it!" Mikey added, now feeling very curious.
"Okay, fine!" Raph finally caved, making Leo and Mikey briefly cheer as he showed them what was on his paper. Both of them were in awe, it was a very detailed and beautiful drawing of a peacock done in colored pencil. The peacock itself looked like it was already done, its body made up of bright and vivid colors, with the background looking like it was a sketch of a jungle that Raph had started to color in.
"Wha!? Dude, that's really good, what were you hiding it for?" Mikey questioned.
"Yeah! It's really pretty, we gotta hang it up somewhere!" Leo added, still looking at the drawing with admiration.
"It's really not that great." Raph mumbled under his breath.
"It is!" Leo insisted adamantly.
"Maybe we could have Donnie make a frame for it or something?" Mikey brought up, looking at said turtle who was still engrossed in whatever he was drawing.
Upon hearing his name, Donnie looked at the others quizzically. "What?"
"Mikey wanted to know if you could make a frame for Raph's drawing!" Leo explained excitedly.
Donnie quickly looked back at his own drawing. "Yeah, I'll do it sometime later." He said dismissively as he started to work again.
Raph quirked an eyebrow at him, a mischievous smirk on his face. "So, what are you drawing, Donnie?" He asked.
That made Donnie stop for a moment, seemingly embarrassed as all of his brothers were now looking at him expectantly.
He cleared his throat as he tried to think of a way to change the subject. "Hey, um, what are we having for lunch?" He asked awkwardly.
All of his brothers gave him unimpressed looks.
He sighed before turning over the paper. It was less of a drawing and more a set of notes with a small sketch of what looked like a robotic sea turtle, prompting very confused looks from the others.
"What is it?" Leo asked, not sure what to make of the wall of text that accompanied the sketch.
"It's an idea for a miniature version of the turtle sub." Donnie explained. "Something that could be used to investigate abnormal underwater activity without us having to go down there ourselves."
"Oh, that's pretty cool!" Leo said, the sketch wasn't much, and he didn't really get all the notes Donnie had written with it, but he wanted to be supportive, and the idea really did seem like something cool if his brother ever got around to making it.
Mikey had an almost disappointed look on his face before shifting the expression back into a smile as he turned to Leo. "I think I'll probably start making lunch when I'm done with my drawing, so what do you want to eat?"
Leo stopped to think for a moment. "I kinda want ramen."
"Okay, let me just..." Mikey trailed off as he finished coloring in the sky of his drawing. "Done!" He said as he got back on his feet. "I'll let you guys know when the ramen's done!"
They watched as Mikey started walking to the kitchen. Leo started on another drawing while Donnie and Raph gave each other a brief look.
"Hey Leo?" Donnie started, prompting the other turtle to look back at him. "I know this question is probably going to sound a bit weird...but how do you see us?"
Leo gave him a confused look. "You're my big brothers." He said hesitantly, not sure if that was what Donnie was asking about. "And I love you." He added, sounding more confident in that.
Donnie patted him on the head. Raph placed his hand on Leo's shoulder before saying, "We love you too."
The affection made Leo feel warm inside. He smiled at his big brothers before going back to what he was drawing.
Chapter 4: First Day part 2
Chapter Text
Lunch was spent much the same as breakfast had been, all four of them talking a bit as they ate. One thing that Mikey talked about was finger painting, Raph and Donnie weren't too excited by the idea, but relented when Leo said he wanted to try it.
After they were done eating, Raph gathered up some paints he had stored in his room, along with significantly larger pieces of paper than what Donnie had brought in earlier. Leo and Mikey were quick to start making simple and colorful pictures, oohing and aahing at each one the other made. Their big brothers had a much harder time getting into it, hesitant to dip their fingers in the paint. Once they started though, they both found it to be enjoyable and started making more detailed pictures than the other two.
Mikey and Leo took one of the bigger papers and started working together to paint a picture of some strange mix of things. They'd just started and there were already stars in a variety of colors, aliens, a cat in a tutu, a dog with a superhero cape, and a whole bunch of flowers.
While in the middle of adding a unicorn, Mikey noticed Leo looking at him as if he was contemplating something. "What's up?" He asked.
"Nothing." Leo claimed, turning towards their paper again, but the mischievous grin on his face told a different story.
"Ooookay?" Mikey replied, quirking an eyebrow with a small smile before turning back to what he was painting.
A few moments passed before Leo asked, "Hey Mikey, can you look at something for me?"
Mikey turned his head to look at his brother.
Then Leo booped him on the nose with one finger, leaving a large splotch of red paint. He couldn't help but giggle, Mikey looked like a clown with a big red nose now!
Mikey chucked. "You got me!" He said, playfully giving Leo a light shove, which left splotches of blue and yellow paint on his brother's arm.
Leo glanced at his arm. His expression was initially curious, before he looked at Mikey again with even more mischief on his face which his brother returned.
This led to a brief game of 'paint tag' where the two of them chased each other around the room, adding a few more splotches to each other's bodies. Raph and Donnie watched them run around with mild interest. Eventually the two turtles settled back down but continued to use each other's bodies as canvases as they sat on the floor.
"What are you dorks doing?" Raph asked them.
"Painting!" Leo said as he put a yellow sun on Mikey's shell.
"On each other?" Raph questioned.
"Yep!" Mikey replied, looking over at Raph. "You wanna join?" He offered, showing his paint-covered hands.
"No thanks." Raph said, turning his gaze back to his own painting.
Mikey pouted at that, before turning his attention back to Leo. "Hey little dude."
Leo stopped painting on Mikey, putting his hands on his knees as his brother turned to look at him. He figured that it was probably his turn to be painted on again.
Instead, Mikey glanced at Raph briefly before turning back to Leo and putting a finger to his own lips. Leo gave him a quizzical look before seeing his big brother start moving sneakily closer to Raph.
When he got close enough, in one swift motion he placed his wet paint-covered palm on Raph's arm and pulled away, waiting to see Raph's response.
Raph was initially startled by the sudden touch, but his expression quickly shifted to an unamused one when he saw it was Mikey. He slowly and gently placed his painting on the ground, then quickly got on his feet and chased Mikey who sprinted while laughing when he saw Raph getting up.
Leo laughed as he watched the two running around, debating whether or not he should join the chase. Then he looked at Donnie who was standing up with his painting in hand.
"Raph, do you want me to put your painting up to dry?" Donnie asked, raising his voice a little to make sure Raph actually heard him.
"Yeah!" Raph yelled as he continued to chase Mikey.
Leo perked up. "I can get it!" He offered, raising his arm up. Then he started walking over to Raph's painting.
"Wait!" Donnie said urgently, moving quickly to stop Leo from just grabbing the paper.
"Huh?" Leo said as Donnie moved between him and the paper. His big brother put his own painting to the side before taking a rag out of the pocket of his belt and wiping the paint off of Leo's hands. "Oh, thank you!"
"No problem." Donnie said. "Since it's still drying, and we just used regular paper instead of a canvas, I want you to try and gently hold it so you're making the least amount of contact where the paint is." He then picked up his own painting, holding is out demonstratively. "Like this, okay?"
Leo carefully picked up Raph's painting, imitating the way Donnie was holding his own before looking at the other turtle for approval.
"Good!" Donnie encouraged. "Now let's get these to the lab." He started walking in the direction of his lab. Leo followed close behind, beaming at Donnie's praise.
Leo briefly looked around to see where Raph and Mikey were and saw the two of them standing on opposite sides of the pinball machine, circling it in an effort to catch/evade each other. He thought it was a pretty funny sight, then he looked at the painting he was holding.
It looked like New York during the nighttime, with the water reflecting the city lights. It was just as amazing as the peacock drawing earlier, Leo hoped he'd be just as good at art as Raph someday.
He then looked stared at his brother's shell for a few moments. "Donnie?" He said as they entered the lab.
"Yeah?" Donnie replied, turning back to look at Leo.
"Can I paint on you?" Leo asked.
Donnie looked at him quizzically for a second, before giving Leo an indulgent, albeit slightly awkward, smile. "Just for a little bit."
That made Leo very excited. After they placed the paintings down to dry, he grabbed Donnie's hand and ran back to the living room.
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Eventually Raph became exhausted and gave in to becoming a canvas for Mikey, sitting with a disgruntled expression. Leo was busy painting a bunch of hearts and flowers on Donnie.
"Hey, isn't it going to be dinner soon?" Mikey suddenly asked.
Donnie checked the time on his t-phone. "Yeah, I think we have about an hour left though."
"What are we having?" Leo asked, pausing from painting a giant heart on the back of Donnie's shell.
"Well, what do you want?" Mikey asked in return.
Without missing a beat, Leo answered, "Pizza!"
Mikey was very happy to hear that, "What kind?"
Leo brought his hand to his chin with a thoughtful expression, shifting through all the options in his mind before finally deciding. "Pepperoni."
"Good choice!" Mikey said. "I'll order some for us...after we take a bath."
"Thank god..." Raph mumbled, clearly hating being covered in paint and eager to get it off.
Leo, on the other hand, wasn't nearly as pleased. "But that's gonna take forever!"
"We could use the big tub." Donnie offered. "That way we can all take one bath together and it won't take as much time.
That cheered Leo up immediately. "Okay! Let's do that!" He said, looking at Raph and Mikey, hoping they'd agree. It felt like forever since they bathed together! They used to do that all the time, but then Raph and Donnie felt like they were too big and wanted privacy even if it meant having to try and clean their shells by themselves.
"Sounds good to me!" Mikey said eagerly.
"Fine, but only because someone's gotta scrub Leo's shell." Raph said with a resigned tone.
Mikey pouted at that. "Hey, I was gonna clean his shell!"
"You can hardly keep your own shell clean!" Raph claimed.
"Well, you were always way too rough when you did it for me!" Mikey countered, sounding frustrated.
"And that's what he needs right now!" Raph said adamantly, gesturing towards Leo who initially looked confused before becoming seemingly irritated.
"Hey! My shell's not that bad!" Leo said defensively, feeling a little insulted at the implication that he had a particularly dirty shell compared to the others. Then his expression became a little uncertain and he started to try and get a look at his shell. "Is it?" He asked.
Donnie started getting up as he answered Leo. "Well, you haven't been bathing much lately Leo. Given that we live in the sewers and are a semi-aquatic species, going long periods without bathing or at least exposing our shells to water can have a negative impact on our health, so your recent neglect of your hygiene is something that's been concerning us lately." He explained, keeping his tone gentle so it didn't sound like he was scolding him.
Leo looked ashamed anyway, feeling like he disappointed Donnie. He didn't even know why he hadn't been taking baths lately, he normally liked them. "Sorry." He said, trying to avoid looking at his brother's face.
"Hey, it's okay." Donnie reassured, hesitating for a moment before patting Leo's head comfortingly. "Sometimes we just need a little extra help taking care of ourselves, that's what you've got us for. So don't feel bad about needing that, alright?"
Leo nodded, feeling a little better now. "I don't like making you guys worry." He admitted.
"We worry because we care about you, now I'm going to get the bath started." Donnie said before turning his attention to Mikey and Raph. "Raph's a lot more thorough than you are Mikey, so he'll scrub Leo's shell today. You can do it on a later day, though. Raph, don't be too rough with Leo, you don't want to cause damage to his shell."
"Fine." Mikey pouted.
Raph sighed, slightly insulted at the insinuation that he needed to be told not to scrub so roughly that it would hurt Leo. "I know how to clean shells, Donnie. But if it makes you guys feel better, I promise to be gentle."
"Good." Donnie replied. "It will take a while for the tub to fill up, so you guys can do whatever and I'll let you know when the bath's ready." He said before he walked to their bathroom.
With that, the three of them settled down to watch an episode of Space Heroes. Leo sat in his usual spot in front of the TV, excitedly pointing out some of his favorite moments to his brothers and occasionally imitating Captain Ryan. It reminded Raph and Mikey of the days before their adventures became more serious. While Leo was still prone to fanboying over his favorite show, it had become less common due to the constant stressful situations their lives threw at them and after months of seeing their brother become more and more depressed and distant, it was nice to see him relaxed and enjoying himself.
Eventually Donnie called for them to get ready to bathe.
Leo went to grab the Splinter doll before Raph stopped him.
"You should probably leave that here. You don't want it getting wet." Raph said.
Leo nodded, then grabbed Raph's hand. This initially startled Raph, but he went along with it and the two of them walked to the bathroom. When they got there, they saw that Donnie had already set out everything they needed, brushes for their shells, towels etc.
Mikey ran off somewhere, before joining them in the bathroom with a basket full of bath toys that he set by the big tub.
The big tub was more of a shallow pool, something that the four of them could sit in with enough space to be comfortable. Donnie had first installed it (with Splinter's help) when they were still really young, making prediction-based measurements for how big they were all going to get with the expectation that they would still want to bathe with each other when they were older, though Donnie had told Splinter it was only for cases where all of them got extremely dirty so they could save time and no one would have to sit around feeling gross while waiting for the others to finish their individual baths.
Donnie was already in the tub and was in the process of wiping off the pink circles Leo had painted on his cheeks earlier with a bath cloth. After placing the basket, Mikey got in and sat next to Donnie, seemingly more focused on talking to him than washing off.
The water was pleasantly warm as Leo and Raph got in. The two of them grabbed bath cloths, before either of them could start washing the paint off though, Leo noticed Raph get a look of sudden realization. "Raph?" He asked, curious about what would make Raph look at him like that.
Raph let go of his hand and turned in the direction of Donnie and Mikey. "I need to go ask Donnie a question real quick." He said before going to their brothers.
Leo pouted as he watched him walk away, but he figured whatever Raph wanted to talk to Donnie about must have been important. He sat next to where the basket of bath toys was. He initially moved to start washing the paint off, but the toys in the basket caught his eye.
He found himself grabbing a small boat and shark, not even noticing as his bath cloth floated away in the water. He started pretending to have the shark attack by bumping its nose into the boat and making little *rawr rawr* noises.
"Oh no! Who's going to help us!?" The boat called out desperately.
Leo glanced at the toys again before picking an orca, letting the boat float freely. "I'll save you!" The orca said as it went to face the shark, preparing for battle.
Then something wet landed on Leo's head and blocked his vision, making him cry out in surprise and letting go of the two toys.
"I think you forgot something." He heard Raph's voice say.
Leo looked up in the direction of Raph's voice, then quickly removed what was on his head so he could actually see him. Then he realized that the thing was the bath cloth he'd discarded in favor of the toys. He looked at Raph again, who was looking down at him with a raised brow, one hand on his hip gripping his own bath cloth. "Hey Raph! You done talking to Donnie?" Leo asked before noticing that there was now a cup and brush near the basket, probably placed there by Raph before he dropped the bath cloth on Leo's head.
"Yep. And you-" Raph said before he grabbed the three toys Leo had dropped into the water. "Need to be washing that paint off while I try and clean your shell."
"Wha-Hey!" Leo exclaimed as he watched Raph drop the toys back into the basket. "I was playing with those!"
"Well, then we better get this paint off fast so you can get back to doing that." Raph replied as he sat behind Leo, his tone making it clear that Leo wasn't going to play until he was clean. He grabbed the cup and scooped some water into it, pouring it onto Leo's shell before he started scrubbing.
Leo started using his bath cloth to wash off his face before moving on to the rest of his body. "So, what did you ask Donnie about?"
"Um...nothing big, just a random question that popped into my head." Raph said dismissively.
"And that question was?" Leo asked insistently, glancing over his shoulder at Raph.
His brother sighed. "It was private, okay?" He said, determined to not have to answer Leo's question.
Leo hmphed at that, but he decided to accept it and turned his attention back to trying to wash the paint off as fast as he could.
It took several more minutes, but eventually Raph managed to clean off all the paint and any other accumulated filth Leo had on his shell. Once he'd done that, he turned his attention to the paint on the back of Leo's head, using the cup again to pour water over him.
Leo laughed in surprise at the sudden pouring of water on his head, moving his hand to shield himself and looking back at Raph. "H-Hey! What was that for?" He asked, his tone mostly playful, but genuinely curious about why his brother did that.
"You've got some paint on the back of your head; I want to try and get it off." Raph explained.
"Oh, okay!" Leo replied before continuing his efforts to try and get a particularly stubborn spot of paint off his arm.
Soon Leo was completely clean of paint, which meant he could play again! He tried asking Raph if he wanted to play with him, but his big brother was too busy trying to get the paint off of himself now. He glanced over at his other two big brothers, but it seemed that Donnie was more-or-less holding Mikey captive as he scrubbed the shell of the very bored and mildly annoyed looking turtle.
Seeing that they were all still busy, he decided to grab the cup Raph had been using to pour water on Raph's shell and start using the brush to scrub it. He figured that the sooner his brother was clean, the sooner he'd play with him! Plus, he'd be helping Raph after he helped him!
Raph paused in his efforts to get the paint off and looked behind his shoulder, quirking a brow at Leo. "What are you doing back there?"
"Scrubbing your shell!" Leo explained cheerfully.
Raph looked like he didn't know what to say about that for a few seconds, before smiling and returning to what he was doing. "Thanks."
For a few minutes Leo kept scrubbing until it looked clean enough to him. Then, just like Raph had done, he took the cup and poured water onto his brother's head, laughing when Raph let out a startled "Hey!".
Soon all of them were done washing off the paint, though Raph seemed to want to talk to Donnie more instead of playing with Leo. This would've upset Leo if Mikey didn't quickly jump in to play with him instead. The two of them slowly added basically all of the toys in the basket into the bath as they played out the adventures of 'Super Orca' while Raph and Donnie either watched or talked to each other. The water started to get cold though, making everyone get out of the bath and dry off.
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"They said it should take like 30 minutes before they get there." Mikey said when he got off the phone from ordering pizza, going to sit next to Leo who was looking through some of the video games they owned. "Which one do you wanna play?" He asked.
"Ummm...This one!" Leo said, picking up a game and handing it to Mikey.
Mikey read the title of the game. "'Ninja Fury Ultra Blast'?" Then recognition entered his eyes, which seemed to shift into sad expression that he tried to cover up with a smile before asking in a nervous tone, "You sure you want to play this one? We've got some cooler stuff like..." he started picking up some of the other games and showed them to Leo, who picked up the game he'd originally chosen when Mikey put it to the side. "There's the 'Zombie Crunch' series, or 'Frog Leap', or-"
"I want to play this one." Leo said adamantly. "I've never played it before, and I know you used to like it a lot, so why can't we play it now?" He asked, looking confused at his brother's response.
"Uh...well." Mikey mumbled, glancing around the room nervously as he tried to think of a reason.
"I could play with him if you're not feeling it." Raph offered from where he was sitting on a beanbag, looking a bit confused but recognizing that something about the game was bothering Mikey.
"I never played it much either, so I'm fine with doing a few rounds too!" Donnie added, sitting next to the game system after he'd set it up.
"Yeah!" Mikey quickly agreed before turning his attention back to Leo. "You okay with playing with the others instead, little dude?"
Leo nodded excitedly, happy that he didn't have to pick out a different game.
So the next 20 minutes were spent with Mikey watching as Leo battled their brothers in the fighting game, Raph and Donnie switching after every few rounds. Leo lost the first few rounds against Raph, but things became more evenly matched once Mikey explained the controls more to him. The orange masked turtle had to eventually leave to go and pick up their pizza, but it didn't take too long before he came back. He had apparently decided to order not just one or two pepperoni pizzas though, he'd gotten a total of six of them.
The last couple hours left of the day was spent winding down as they ate pizza and watched movies together.
Leo was cuddled up close to Mikey, holding the Splinter doll to his chest as he resisted his growing drowsiness, when Raph finally said, "I think it's time to call it a night."
Leo let out a tired whining noise. "Can we stay up just a little longer?" He asked, feeling too comfortable where he was to move.
"Sorry Leo, but getting to bed on time is really important." Donnie said as he started getting up.
Mikey also started getting up, much to Leo's disappointment. "But I'm not tired." Leo lied, a yawn escaping him and making him blush in embarrassment.
"Come on Leo." Mikey said, trying to help his brother get up, but Leo stubbornly refused to move. "The sooner you go to bed, the sooner I can read you a story, would you like that?" He offered.
Leo perked up at that. "Okay." He accepted, taking Mikey's hand.
He stayed practically glued to Mikey's side as they all prepared for bed, thinking about all the stories he knew and figuring out which one he wanted his big brother to read to him.
Once they got to his room, he took out a book of old Japanese folk tales and turned the pages to the story he wanted before handing it to Mikey and climbing into bed.
"'The Tale of the Bamboo Cutter'?" Mikey read, his tone indicating a slight wariness or disappointment in the choice.
Leo looked back at him from the bed, an expectant expression on his face as he nodded timidly. "Please." He said, his tone pleading as he caught on to Mikey's hesitation.
Mikey realized how he came across and quickly tried to reassure him. "Hey, I didn't say I wouldn't read it! I was just worried that my voice might sound funny with old stories like this one."
"I don't mind." Leo reassured him with a smile, sitting his head on his pillow.
"Okay, can I just ask you one last thing before I start?" Mikey asked.
"What is it?" Leo asked in return.
"Did you have a good time today?"
Leo nodded. "It was fun hanging out with all of you guys." It felt like it had been a long time since they last did that, though he wasn't sure why.
"It was a lot of fun hanging out with you too." Mikey said happily before adding. "I love you bro."
"I love you too." Leo said, sounding drowsy, but content. He was already tired, and the softness of his bed was lulling him even closer to sleep.
Mikey looked back at him with an expression full of fondness before turning his attention to the story, taking a deep breath before he started. "Long, long ago, there lived an old bamboo woodcutter..."
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It only took a few minutes before Leo was fast asleep. Mikey paused his reading for a few moments to see if his brother was awake enough to notice, when the only thing he heard was the sound of soft breathing, he decided to mark the page for another time. He knew Leo would likely want him to keep reading in the future because, for reasons Mikey would never understand, this was one of Leo's favorite stories. He personally thought the story was a bit boring and too sad, but he thought most of the older stories Splinter read to them were boring while Leo loved them, so it was probably just them having very different tastes.
He put the book back where Leo had gotten it from before he left the room, heading to the lab.
Today had gone great! Leo seemed happier than he had in a long time, maybe even happier than he had been before what happened to Splinter. It was a huge relief after spending the whole week worried about what would happen if Donnie's device didn't work properly and the best they could do was get Leo to improve physically, but not be able to help him feel better.
That was one bad thing about having a strong imagination, his mind tended to make him think about the worst-case scenarios a lot. While he had learned to mostly tune that stuff out and ignore it, there were moments where he just couldn't because things didn't seem to get better, or he was anxious about some big fight his family had to go out and deal with, or he was getting nightmares because something really bad happened...
Okay, the point is that the whole situation with Leo was one of those things that had made his imagination go into dark places he didn't want it to, so it was great that they seemed to have found something to help their brother finally get better.
Raph and Donnie were waiting for him in the lab so they could start their latest discussion.
Mikey closed the door behind him before beaming at his brothers. "Dudes, today was awesome! Dee, your mind-thing totally worked!" He said, running over to them and hugging the genius.
Donnie chuckled a bit at the affection, feeling relieved too. He'd also been extremely anxious about whether or not his device would work when the time came to use the active signal. It had been really nice to see Leo regain some of his old self, even if it required altering his state of mind.
"Yeah, yeah, so Don's brainwashing thing works. What do we do now?" Raph questioned as Donnie and Mikey's hug ended. While he'd also been happy to see Leo actually enjoy himself again, he still had a lot of misgivings about this whole thing. It may not have been as bad as he feared, Leo's behavior had been subtly changed enough that for most of the day Raph could pretend that his big brother was just in a very good mood, but he still felt a bit gross inside knowing that the reality was that they'd messed with his head.
"Well, first I need to switch the signal back onto the passive setting." Donnie explained before going over to a drawer and pulling out a small device, flipping the switch and then putting it back inside. "That should do it. Now-" He continued as he walked back over to his brothers, "if things continue to work as I designed, Leo probably won't remember most of today."
Mikey had a disappointed look on his face upon hearing that, while Raph's own eyes widened, and he felt anger rising inside. "So what was the point of all this!? The whole reason I agreed to be a part of this was because you said it would help Leo trust us with his feelings more! How's he gonna do that if he doesn't remember anything we did today!?"
Donnie put his hands up placatingly. "Okay, let me clarify some things. Leo won't forget everything that happened today, and none of today will be completely wiped from his mind. I designed the signal so that his conscious memories of today would get harder to vividly recall the further under its influence he is, but his subconscious will still remember." He explained, speaking slowly and clearly so that his brothers would be more likely to process what he was trying to say, as he gestured to his own head. "Everything will still be in here; it'll just be harder for him to remember things outside of how he felt and any ingrained habits he starts developing. If we really want him to remember something though, then we just need to actively remind him of it."
Mikey looked at him for a moment before saying, "Okay, first question, why?" he drew out the last word for a couple seconds to emphasize his confusion.
"Because we're going to need to do this quite a few times before we see any lasting results." Donnie explained. "Like Raph said, if he does remember everything that happened, he would question his sudden radical change in behavior and way of thinking and its unlikely we'd be able to hide our involvement with it since we went along with that change. If he figures it out too quickly, then everything we've done is pointless because Leo will want us to stop, and he'll go right back to his previous behavior or more likely get worse due to his trust in us being even more damaged than it was before."
Mikey nodded, still looking distressed. Raph decided to speak up next, "Second question, how much is Leo going to remember if things worked the way you wanted?"
"He should be able to remember everything up to going into my lab pretty clearly, most of his time in my lab will probably be a fuzzy but he'll be able to recall the basics of what happened, he won't be able to remember anything after he started coloring with the two of you." Donnie answered.
"What do we do if he does remember?" Raph asked, feeling a new sense of anxiety inside. He wouldn't be able to blame Leo if he'd never be able to trust them after what they did, he knew that if he was in Leo's place he wouldn't be able to trust any of them even if they did it for his own good.
"Well...we'll just have to be ready to explain ourselves and...hope that he'll understand." Donnie said, his own nervousness being clear in his tone. "But we'll just have to wait and see what happens tomorrow, we won't make any long-term planning until we know for sure."
Raph nodded before turning to Mikey, deciding to turn the topic to something less anxiety inducing. "So, what was up with the video game thing?"
Mikey's eyes widened in surprise at that, before looking a bit sad. "Um...that was the last game Splinter tried to play with me. He wasn't very good at it, but I think he got kinda obsessed because the game had a bunch of records that looked like someone was playing it at night for like a whole week." He explained, before he started to hug himself and look down at the ground. "He wanted to do a rematch, but I'd just gotten Zombie Crunch 4 and..." He let out a small, forced laugh.
Donnie gave him a sympathetic look, and Raph put his arms around their baby brother's shoulders. They stood there for a few moments before Raph spoke. "Hey, I'm gonna go to bed, but if you um...if you need somebody then I won't be mad if you go to my room and want to talk okay?"
Mikey nodded. "Thanks dude, but I'm fine, really. I just didn't expect to get reminded of that."
"Still." Raph said. "I'm here if you need me." Then he turned to Donnie before repeating. "If any of you guys need me." He wanted to make it clear that even if he was a bit mad about how they were going about this, he wasn't going to forget that they were all going through something rough and needed each other more than ever. He started to walk towards the door. "See you guys tomorrow."
"See ya." Mikey said, he was about to leave too, but he noticed that Donnie still had a very worried expression on his face. He put his hands on his brother's shoulders. "Don't worry Donnie, even if things don't go 100 percent how you wanted them to, I have a feeling everything's gonna work out in the end." He reassured, giving him another quick hug before going for the door, waving goodbye as he went.
The last brother in the room watched him before heading to his own room to sleep, hoping that his baby brother was right.
13running12 on Chapter 1 Wed 29 May 2024 03:55AM UTC
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Nikikeya on Chapter 1 Fri 05 Jul 2024 01:48AM UTC
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Leonardo 4ever!!!!! (Guest) on Chapter 2 Thu 06 Jun 2024 07:28AM UTC
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MyEver_Growing_BookSearch on Chapter 4 Tue 16 Jul 2024 08:21AM UTC
Last Edited Tue 16 Jul 2024 08:23AM UTC
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Leonardo_4ever (Guest) on Chapter 4 Tue 16 Jul 2024 07:34PM UTC
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