Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

I squeeze my eyes shut against the glare of the sun and tighten my grip on the little square rune in my left hand: breathe, Lyra, passing out is not helpful or productive. This is the mantra repeating in my head over and over and over again until I feel well enough to open my eyes again.

I take a look around and see that everyone is still waiting for General Melgren and Codagh to arrive; the massive black beast will be executing the leaders of the Tyrrish rebellion.

My father is going to die today.

I swallow a sob as I think back to our last conversation and how I’d pleaded with him to stay home with me and my older brother, but he’d refused. My brother fought with him all the way until our dad had walked out of the front door.

How is this possible? How is it that my father and the other “rebellion” leaders are being killed when they were trying to make everyone aware of the fact that our fables and stories are real?

I don’t understand, I don’t understand, I don’t-

“Hey,” a voice whispers, “you look like you’re going to pass out.”

I let out the breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding in a huff and look over to see my best friend watching me. “I don’t understand, Liam,” I whisper back, my voice cracking on his name, “I didn’t get to give him one last hug, I didn’t tell him I admired him, I won’t get to talk to him ever again.”

Liam’s eyes well with tears when my own finally fall down my cheeks and he reaches out with his free hand to pull me against him. He gives me something to feel and cling to besides the utter emptiness in my chest. I feel his other arm come around to hug me and feel the rune in his hand against my back.

“You have your rune from my mom?” He asks quietly and squeezes me tighter when I nod my head in confirmation. “Okay good, don’t let it go no matter what.”

He releases me from the hug but keeps his left arm around my shoulders, I lean my head against him and focus on my breathing again.

I’m not sure how long we stay like this, comforting each other without words, but before I know it there’s a sudden shift in the energy around me and everyone looks up as one to see Codagh land to the side of the platform that will soon hold my father and his closest advisors, his friends.

I watch General Melgren dismount and wave his hand to signal the start of my worst nightmare.

My gaze moves back to the spectacular sight that is the Eldest member of the black dragon den, and if I wasn’t so distraught I would realize just how truly magnificent he is. All I can think right now though is that he is going to kill the only parent I’ve ever really known and loved.

A hand on my back brings me out of my thoughts and I look up to see that my brother has taken up the empty space that had been next to me.

“Xaden,” my voice is barely audible but I know that he hears me when he steps even closer to me and Liam. He shifts his hand to curve around my waist in a side hug, but refuses to move his eyes away from what’s happening on the platform.

I take deep breath and allow myself to feel safe between the two men who will make up half of my family after Codagh has completed his task.

My eyes take in all I can see from Xaden’s side profile and I know instantly that he is pissed, but also devastated. He’s beating himself up over the last words between him and our father, but also that he couldn’t persuade our dad to change his mind. I move my left arm to circle his waist and squeeze him as tight as I can, then my attention is back on the platform.

The last of the rebellion leaders has just stepped off the stairs when I feel like the energy around me shifts again. It’s almost like a physical thing that if I reached out the air would fight back…I can feel it in how hard it is to breathe.

Focus, Lyra, you owe it to Dad to pay attention. Give his last moments meaning and send him all your love.

Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale, in, hold, out, hold-

In:

General Melgren stands in front of Codagh and announces that the Kingdom of Navarre has sentenced these men and women to death for leading a rebellion.

Hold:

I watch as Navarre leadership glare and sneer from their pedestal, watch as they spit towards my father and he doesn’t even flinch.

Out:

I watch my father as he surveys the crowd, his face composed and his back straight. He finds Xaden first and gives him a nod which my big brother returns.

Hold:

His eyes meet mine and I mouth “I love you” to him and I watch his hard facade crack. He gives me a small smile then nods, his face returning to neutral as he looks away from me.

Everything stops after I lose the eye contact with my father and I forget all about my breathing as I watch General Melgren look up at Codagh then nod his head.

I see the massive beast move his head one moment then the next moment there’s flames engulfing the platform and everyone on it.

The searing pain in my heart shocks a sob out of me then I realize that it’s not just my heart: there’s a searing pain in my left hand that’s traveling up my arm and stops at my collarbone. I cry out and pull my arm away from Xaden and look to see a dark, shimmering relic made up of swirls and slashes starting on the top of my hand and I can see it goes up past my shirt sleeve. If the pain is any indication, I think I know where it stops.

I look up at Xaden then twist around to Liam and see that they both also have a shimmering relic on their left arms. Turning back to Xaden, I reach my right hand out and touch the bit of relic I can see on his jawline. He reaches out to me and holds my left hand up to look at the shimmering thing that wasn’t there a minute ago. His jaw ticks and he lowers my hand back down but stays holding it; I feel Liam squeeze my shoulders and glance at him to see that he’s now holding a crying Sloane against his other side.

If it’s even possible, my heart shatters completely by looking at her then around us at all of the children and teens who now bear a dark, shimmering relic. I gently extract myself from Liam’s arm and move it so that he’s holding Sloane with both. I step back and lean into Xaden, he interlocks our fingers after I stick the rune in my pants pocket.

It’s been less than two minutes since my life has been derailed completely and I want nothing more than to go home to Riorson house and bury myself in my blankets.

I feel a brick drop into my stomach at the realization that I likely won’t lay eyes on my room ever again, I won’t get to walk those halls in search of my father ever again, I won’t be able to chase Xaden around the rooms and up then down the stairs pretending to be a dragon rider chasing a gryphon flier ever again.

The brick in my stomach turns to acid when I think of a question: where will we go from here?

I turn to ask Xaden that very question when I notice guards starting to corral all of us with new relics close together. I look past them to see a tall, muscular woman with short brown hair and the designation of General moving towards Xaden and I. As she gets closer, General Melgren joins her and they pause to watch until all 108 of us are close enough that we’re bumping shoulders.

I maintain my grip on Xaden’s hand and do my best to project an aura of calmness around myself even though I feel anything but calm. I feel a steady presence behind me and know that Liam and Sloane are there; I reach back to hold Sloane’s hand and she gives me a small smile. I turn to look over my other shoulder and see that Bodhi is there with Garrick. These five people are now my only family and I know I can handle anything the two generals throw at us.

I inhale deeply and exhale as the woman begins to speak: “Hello children,” she gives us a smile that doesn’t reach her eyes, “My name is General Sorrengail. I’m here to inform you about what’s next for each of you. But first, I have to say that it was quite a shock to us that all you are now marked and that it happened immediately after Codagh blew fire.” She looks at all of us, her gaze stalling on Xaden and I as she realizes who exactly is at the front of this group. My stomach clenches as she continues, “So, marked ones, everyone you ever meet will know immediately who you are due to these rebellion relics. Each of you will be assigned a foster home, and you will be grateful of your hosts for agreeing to house people such as yourselves. Your parents betrayed our country, you should be grateful that we’ve allowed you to live. Do not mistake us housing you for complete forgiveness, if you want that then you need to earn it and prove that you are loyal to Navarre.”

Xaden does a swift intake of breath and I glance up at him, but he’s staring daggers at General Sorrengail. I can almost see the wheels turning in his head to figure out how to prove our loyalty.

I turn back to the General to find her already staring at me, I exhale sharply and maintain eye contact with her.

“What is your first name, child? Your father refused to tell us about you and your brother,” she tilts her head and looks me up and down before finding my eyes again.

This feels odd, why is she singling us out? Besides the fact that our father led the rebellion, there isn’t anything vital that she needs to know.

“Lyra,” I say quietly, “my name is Lyra Riorson…and this is my older brother Xaden.” I look up at him to find him watching me. He lifts his free hand to gently brush away a tear I didn’t even realize had fallen.

“And how old are you, Lyra?” General Sorrengail’s eyes follow Xaden’s free hand as it lowers from my face, finds our joined hands, and holds mine in both of his. If I didn’t know any better I would say that her eyes softened at the sweetness between us, but it’s gone as quickly as it appeared that it’s more likely that I imagined it.

“I’m fourteen,” I answer, wondering what this has to do with anything and why I’m being singled out.

Her eyes flare almost in triumph, then she turns to General Melgren, “Should we assign them families first or allow them to settle down to rest first?” Codagh’s rider doesn’t even look at us when he says “Assign them to their families, they don’t need to rest.”

I feel a flash of resentment at the blatant disregard for our feelings and the fact that he knows we’re currently in mourning. I chance a glance behind me and see that most everyone looks as defeated as I feel, and before I can second guess it I hear myself say: “Please, Generals Melgren and Sorrengail, please allow us the chance to at least sit inside for a bit while we are assigned to our new families. The babies and toddlers need to get out of the sun, please,” I hear my voice crack on the last word and feel more tears slide down my cheeks.

Xaden squeezes my hand in support and I feel multiple hands touch my back and shoulders, Sloane simply kisses the knuckles on my hand she’s still clutching to her chest. I tilt my head up despite the tears and meet the gaze of General Melgren as he looks me over, not missing the shows of silent support I have all around me.

After a small battle of wills, he nods his head and turns to a guard, “Guards, escort this group to the enclosed barracks. Get them water, formula for the youngest, and fruit.”

I send up a silent prayer of thanks then open my mouth to thank him, but General Melgren isn’t done, “Hmm, can we trust you enough to not cause trouble as a group or should we separate you with girls in one room and guys in the other?”

I squeeze Xaden’s hand to the point of pain and nearly start sobbing outright at the idea of being separated from the one person I need more than anything. “Please General, we won’t do anything to betray your trust. Please don’t take me away from Xaden.”

The tears course down my cheeks in earnest and I feel Xaden shift to wrap an arm around my shoulders while still holding my hand in his. I feel him take a deep breath, “Generals, my sister spoke the truth. We will not be doing anything but trying to grieve, please allow us to stay together.”

I wait with bated breath while the silence stretches until General Melgren finally nods at the guards and has them escort all 108 of us to the barracks.

Chapter Text

Xaden and I lead the way into the bunk room; I take in the rows of beds before me, two doors on the wall opposite me with a sign on them indicating the men’s room and the women’s room, and finally the tables set up around the room with pitchers of water and bowls of fruit.

I pull my hand from my older brothers grasp and turn to watch the last of us enter the room. After the door shuts with a snap I hear the unmistakable click of a lock and take a step backwards.

I bump into someone’s chest and look up to find Xaden watching me, I open my mouth to say something when reality hits me in the face and I start sobbing. He gathers me in his arms like a baby and moves to one of the beds.

I can hear the rest of my family moving to their own beds and realize I should check on them since they all lost someone too, but when I feel my big brother sit down I wrap my arms around his neck and hide my face and allow myself to feel the loss I just experienced.

He squeezes me tight and lowers his head, that’s when I feel the tears soak into my shirt and I realize he’s crying with me. I tighten my grip on him and hold onto him as if my life depends on it: in actuality it really does depend on him because without him I’d be finding a way to join my dad.

I’m not sure how long we stay in each others arms, but eventually, I feel him taking deep breaths and try to match him so that I can gain some semblance of control back.

“Better?” He murmurs against my head.

I nod and shift myself so that I’m sitting next to him instead of on his lap, “What do we do now, Xade?”

He shakes his head and glances around while saying, “I don’t know, May, but we’ll figure it out.” I give a small smile at his nickname for me and thank the gods that I have him here with me.

After realizing that everyone was waiting for Xaden and I before going to the food and water, I stand and extend my hand to my brother.

The rest of the afternoon passes in a flurry of activity: everyone my age and older gets cups of water and plates of fruit for the young kids, while they eat a few of us feed the littles their bottles, then we dedicate at least an hour to getting everyone showered and into a change of clothes that had been left in a tote near the entry door.

After snacking on some fruit myself, and ensuring that all of the littles are laying in their beds peacefully, I make my way over to Xaden and the rest of my family where they’re sitting in a semi-circle near the back wall.

I plop down between Xaden and Sloane and listen to the conversation. Garrick is in the middle of saying how we’d be foolish to get comfortable with the family we’re going to be assigned. Bodhi scoffs slightly after hearing that and glances at the rest of us before saying how exhausting it would be to be on alert constantly for years until we’d be released to go to Basgiath for conscription day.

My thoughts drift after that and I begin to think about what quadrant I’d like to join, as if sensing my thoughts, Xaden touches my thigh briefly to get my attention. I look over at him and he gestures for me to move closer to him. I scoot over until our legs are pressed against each other and wait for him to say something.

“What quadrant do you want to go into?” He asks quietly so I’m the only who can hear him.

“I think you know that answer to that,” I answer just as quietly with a slightly lift to my lips, “I’ve only been talking about it for the past 14 years!”

He snorts softly and my smile widens, “I see, so even after what happened today, you still want to go ride a dragon?”

The smile drops from my face as I think about it that way, “Does…does that make me a terrible person? Am I betraying Dad’s memory by bonding a dragon?” I lock my gaze with his and I know that he sees a panic attack building in the dark blue depths of my eyes.

“No,” he shakes his head and reaches out to hold my hand, “I’m sorry, no, Lyra May. That doesn’t make you a terrible person. Dad would be proud that you’re not letting his death change who you are.”

I inhale deeply and nod my head, thinking over what he said, “I did think about going into the healer’s quadrant, but I feel drawn to the dragons. I need to do what I’ve been dreaming of, Xade, but I’m scared to let dad down. He never really understood what I’d talk about when I’d go on my tangents, he never felt the pull to go bond.”

“Dad knew where your heart lies, he could see you were destined for that life when you’d find injured animals around Riorson house and bring them home to heal and love on them.” Xaden chuckles, “Bonding a dragon means that you have a special connection with the nonhuman creatures you’ve always seen as vital no matter what it was. The riders quadrant would be blessed to have you added to its ranks. Dad knows and he supports you, Lyra.” He squeezes my hand when he says my name to emphasize his point, and I feel myself relaxing again.

I look up when I realize that the quiet chatter of our family has ceased and see that they’re watching Xaden and I. I scoot closer to Sloane again and pull Xaden with me. When I’m close enough to her I reach out and interlock our fingers, she then reaches out to hold Liam’s hand. Liam squeezes Sloane’s hand and holds his other hand out for Garrick to grab; Garrick extends his free hand to Bodhi who takes it. Finally, Bodhi finds Xaden’s hand and I look around the circle, at the physical representation of how much we care about each other.

“I don’t know why we have these new relics, nor do I know what tomorrow is going to bring, but I feel blessed to have each of you at my side. I wouldn’t have made it this far without each of you,” Xaden says softly and I feel the tears well up but breathe through it before they can fall.

“Our parents would want us to lean on each other even after we get split up into our foster homes.” My voice falters when I finish his thought and I look at each of them and try to convey my love for them in the sweep of my eyes.

“I don’t know how we’ll communicate with each other once we leave here, but no matter what happens we will find each other again,” Xaden’s tone leaves no room for argument, but no one seemed inclined to anyways.

I feel myself relax into the lull of the conversation. I realize I’ve dozed off when I feel myself being lifted into a strong set of arms and I know it’s Xaden carrying me to an empty bed.

He moves the blanket back with one hand then sets me down gently, he pulls the blanket up around my shoulders and crouches down so that he’s eye level with me. “I love you, little sister,” he whispers and presses a kiss to my forehead, he ruffles my hair and goes to stand up when I reach out to cup his cheek with my hand.

“I love you, big brother,” I murmur sleepily and pull my hand back under the covers.

I watch him move back to sit with our family and smile to myself as sleep takes me. I’m here with my family and I’m safe as long as Xaden, Liam, and the others are around.

Chapter Text

A hand pressing firmly against my mouth startles me from sleep.

My eyes fly open as I try to jerk back and away from whoever has me, a female guard, but she shakes her head then presses her index finger to her lips. My eyes narrow and I’m tensing myself to push against her when I look over to Xaden’s bed and see a male guard holding an unsheathed dagger above my brother’s sleeping form.

The fight goes out of me immediately and the female uses her free hand to grasp my arm and pull me up; I tread lightly on bare feet and allow her to guide me out of the room. I turn to ensure that the man who’d been above Xaden is following us, he is, so I watch as he shuts the door and locks it then proceeds to follow us down the hallway.

I try to memorize the route but after the third set of stairs I stop trying to remember where my family is and shift my attention to where they’re taking me and who I’m going to be meeting. My questions are answered almost immediately when the woman opens a door, pushes me through, shuts the door, and I’m left facing General Sorrengail.

“What the f-“ I start then remember who exactly is sitting on a chair in front of me, and shut my mouth.

The corner of her mouth quirks up briefly then falls as she gestures to the chair across from her, “Sit, Lyra. We have a lot to talk about, but only a little bit of time until your brother wakes up and has a conniption that you’re gone. I wouldn’t want General Melgren to have to intervene if Xaden reacts poorly.” I raise my eyebrows at the thinly veiled threat, but sit down after a quick glance around the room.

There’s nothing in here except the two chairs and us, “What did we need to talk about, General? It must be important if you had to smuggle me out of that room.”

She ignores the sarcasm in my tone, much to my chagrin, and says “I want to know how you see your life going. What quadrant you want to go into and…” The general hesitates, seemingly weighing something in her mind, “and what you plan to do about what you know. If I had to guess you know the truth of what’s happening and why Fen Riorson tried to go through with the apostasy.”

I blink and shift my hand to be able to pinch my arm; General Sorrengail following the movement with her eyes. I’m awake… right? There is absolutely no way that one of Navarre’s top generals is talking to me about the venin. I hiss when my nails squeeze my skin and I realize that I am in fact awake and that the woman across from me is watching me with some sort of emotion dancing in her eyes. If I didn’t know any better I’d say it was amusement, but the general seems far too serious to find things funny.

“Uh…I’m going into the riders quadrant. It’s been my goal since forever.” I wonder if I should feign innocence about the venin, but I’ve never been a good liar. Xaden says I wear it all over my face, so I go with honesty: “As far as what I know and what my dad tried to do, I honestly don’t know. I don’t feel old enough or know the world enough to make any sort of decisions.” I wait for her to say something then open my mouth again when a question pops into my head, “Actually, why are you asking me this? Why not Xaden?”

She takes a moment to look me over then inhales deeply but before she can answer the door behind me bangs open and I jump about a foot into the air.

I whirl around and see General Melgren standing in the doorway with a group of guards behind him. “Your time with her is up, Lilith, her brother and the others have realized she’s gone and are currently trying to break out of the barracks.”

I swallow the lump in my throat as I remember Sorrengail’s threat, then feel myself tense as he looks at me. “Did you find out what you wanted?” Melgren asks the women now standing next to me.

I watch out of the corner of my eye as she nods, “Yes, but I didn’t get a chance to tell her-“ The end of her sentence is drowned out by a guard that pushes to the front of the group outside the door and salutes General Melgren then says, “Sir, the Riorson boy managed to get the door open and assaulted one of the guards before we were able to push him back in the room.”

“Is the guard still alive?” He snaps.

“Yes, but the marked ones,” the guards gaze flickers to me briefly as he finishes, “they won’t stop until they know she’s safe.”

“I knew we should’ve just killed all of the older ones, Sorrengail, they’re not able to be controlled. I can’t see anything that’s happening in that room or what they’re planning.” He grips the pommel of the sword at his hip until his knuckles whiten.

He can’t see us? What does that mean? I get my answer though as he takes a step forward towards me and snarls, “Whatever caused those relics on your arms is fuckng with my signet! What do you know?”

I’m trembling by the time he’s towering above me and flinch at his tone, but I refuse to allow myself to back up a few paces.

“I…I don’t know.” My voice shakes but I maintain eye contact with him.

He leans further into my personal space and I have to consciously tell myself to breathe, this man is terrifying.

I am terrified.

I want my dad. I want Xaden.

I clutch my arms around myself then feel my knees give out as Melgren growls, “I think that the loss of a few more family members will help loosen your tongue to whatever it is you know.”

“No!” I gasp and reach out, what I’m grasping for I have no idea, “please don’t hurt Xaden or Bodhi. I don’t know anything I swear, please, I’ll do anything, please don’t kill them!” I’m hysterical by the time I finish speaking and have locked eyes with General Sorrengail.

She’s watching the interaction with hard eyes and seems to make a decision, she steps forward, kneels, and I keep my gaze on her. “Make a deal with me, Lyra. Make a deal with me and anyone you choose to protect will be safe from those who want to harm them until they enter Basgiath and join a quadrant.”

I blink slowly, giving my heart a chance to slow down and think about what she said, “A deal? I don’t- what kind of deal is that powerful that you could promise that?” I realize what she means by deal when she pulls out a dagger with Tyrrish runes on it and I recognize it as a blade that can kill venin.

General Melgren has backed up and is watching us closely, General Sorrengail follows my gaze and reiterates, “A deal, child. Quickly now, answer me, before your brother does irreversible damage to one of my guards.”

If General Melgren is to be believed, and I wouldn’t want to call his bluff, he wants to kill Xaden, Liam, Garrick, Bodhi, Sloane, and anyone else old enough who poses a threat to easily controlling the marked ones. I realize with a start that that includes me…but what would General Sorrengail get in return? She hasn’t said anything regarding what she wants out of this…but would I even care what her stipulation is if I can ensure that my brother and my family is safe? No, I wouldn’t, I realize because all that matters to me now is them; without them I don’t belong anywhere.

“Yes.” I say with more confidence than I feel, “I will make a deal with you. I want my brother and family members protected by this deal.”

I shift my gaze to General Melgren and stand before saying, “Everyone follows my brother’s lead. What he says goes; you don’t need to worry about them disobeying you as long as Xaden knows I’m safe because if I am he has no reason to…” I nearly say the word “rebel” but choose not to seeing as what ended only a few days ago, “he will not go against you or anyone in Navarre so long that I am safe.”

He nods and looks expectantly at General Sorrengail who has risen from her kneeling position and is standing behind the chair I was sitting in, Tyrrish dagger still in hand.

“Sit, Lyra Riorson. Someone go tell her brother that he’ll get proof in the next five minutes that she’s safe, and if anymore harm comes to my guards his sisters life is forfeit due to the deal that we are sealing with blood.” General Sorrengail says all of this while looking directly at me.

I swallow, sit down, and eye the dagger that’s now level with my right shoulder.

“This deal signifies that you will now carry the responsibility of Xaden and whoever else you choose to name outright. They will obey the rules and laws expected of every Navarre citizen until their entry to Basgiath War College. Each of them, and everyone who bears a rebellion relic, will enter whatever quadrant you enter yourself in six years. Should they disobey or enter the wrong quadrant, your life will be taken in place of theirs.” She pauses, letting me absorb her words then continues, “The last part of this deal will include a favor to me that I can call in at anytime.”

I feel my heart stumble at those words then solidify my resolve, anything is worth it as long as my family is safe.

“I accept this deal. I want them safe and alive.” I say while looking between her and General Melgren. Without wasting any time, she gestures to Melgren who comes forward to place his huge hands on my shoulders and presses down, keeping me pinned in place.

General Sorrengail holds my right arm by the wrist in a firm grip with my hand extended down past the chair, lifts the dagger to the top of my upper arm, and says, “Name them.”

I inhale, “Xaden Riorson.”

I feel Lilith Sorrengail press the blade into my skin, she pulls it across slowly and deliberately and I choke out a ragged sound. I feel blood start to flow immediately, but there’s no time to collect my thoughts because she’s already pulled the blade away and dropped it half an inch.

“Bodhi Durran.” I flex my left hand and squeeze the wood on the arm of the chair hard enough that I feel my nails sink into it when the blade moves again. Breathe, Lyra, do not pass out. I hear the thought in my head but it comes across as Xaden’s voice and I start to cry.

“Liam Mairi.” My breathing is ragged but I keep my best friend’s sweet smile in my mind.

“Sloane Mairi.” I blink my eyes against the tears but there’s no stopping them. My arm feels like it’s on fire. I need Xaden, I need my big brother.

“Garrick Tavis.” I’m done. I can go see my family. I need my family.

I’m panting, feeling nauseous, and slide down in the chair after the generals let me go. I allow myself to slide completely onto the floor then cradle my right arm to my chest. My left wraps around it and I feel the blood and cuts.

They’re 3 inches long. No wonder it feels like I have a torch pressed into my very bones. I whimper as another wave of nausea hits me and breathe in through my nose then out of my mouth.

“Lyra, we need you to write a letter to Xaden telling him that you’re safe, and that you’ll be leaving soon to go to your foster home.” I jerk away from the sound of General Sorrengail’s voice and immediately regret it when I feel more blood leak out of my wounds.

“Xaden, I need Xaden.” I know I’m begging but I can’t stop myself, “Please even if it’s only for 5 minutes, I need him.”

In a distant part of my brain I hear a commotion near me then harsh, hushed words being spoken.

“If I allow him to see you, then you will leave with me without fuss?” She counters and I feel like I have to physically pick up the pieces of my brain and stick them back together.

“Yes, I will leave.” I confirm, sniffling as more tears fall, my arm feels numb now but I’m still exhausted and all I want is my brother.

I feel her presence move away from me then hear the commotion again, but this time there’s no harsh words. Xaden’s knees slam into the ground in front of me and I startle, letting out a cry when I feel my arm wake up then go numb again.

Gentle hands cup my face and I feel him swiping away my tears, murmuring for me to breathe through it. I shift my eyes to look into his and memorize every aspect of his onyx and gold-flecked eyes, so very different from my own dark blue.

“What did you do, sweet girl?” He keeps his hands on my face but looks down to take in the five wounds on my arm.

Continuing to look in his eyes, I find my words, “I…General Melgren was going to kill you. Because you can’t be controlled. I couldn’t-“ I let out a sob at the thought of losing him but continue talking through the gasps, “I wouldn’t let him kill you, so I made a deal with General Sorrengail.”

I find her behind Xaden then and she holds up three fingers. “We don’t have a lot of time big brother,” I choke out and commit every part of myself to getting through this without breaking down, I reach up and cover his right hand with my left where it still rests against my cheek.

“I told them that the marked ones listen to you, that they’ll follow your lead. Your lead as well as Bodhi’s, Liam’s, Garrick’s, and Sloane’s.” I see him look again at my arm and see when it connects in his mind.

“Oh, Lyra, you didn’t have to do that-“

“No, Xade, I couldn’t not do it. I cannot live without you and our family, without knowing you’re safe. Please don’t-please don’t be mad at me,” I sob the last part of that sentence and focus on my breathing, looking to where Lilith holds up one finger. “Please don’t be mad, part of the deal was for all of the marked ones to join whatever quadrant I’ll be in when I get to Basgiath. If someone joins the wrong quadrant…my life is forfeit.”

He widens his eyes at that statement but nods, “I’m not mad sweetheart, not in the slightest. I’ll make sure we all toe the line to keep you and each other safe and alive. I’m so proud of you, May; please keep your wits about you. Don’t just trust someone because they seem nice, make them earn your trust. I love you so much.”

“I love you, Xaden, I love you so much,” my voice is clearer than I anticipated, “please tell the others I love them, and I’ll see them in six years.”

I don’t have to remind him about which quadrant I want to go into; he knows where my heart belongs with every fiber of his being. Even if I had been concerned, I remind myself that we got the chance to talk last night so he knows that my decision hasn’t changed.

Xaden rises to his feet then reaches down to support me under my arms to help me stand up. I sway on my feet, but reach out and hug him tight.

Before I can let go I feel something poke the skin above the wounds on my arm; I gasp but there’s no time for anything else as darkness encroaches on my vision and I feel myself fade away into sleep.

Chapter Text

~Xaden~

My family and I visit for another 30 minutes or so after I carry Lyra to bed; I glance over at her sleeping form and smile at how peaceful she looks.

She lost so much today, and I hate how devastated she looked and sounded when she was talking to the generals. I wish that I could protect her from all of this, but in the long run I know it’ll make her stronger.

I feel a hand clap softly onto my shoulder and pull myself from my thoughts, “Oh, good night, I’ll see you all in the morning.”

Everyone nods at me except Garrick who removes his hand from my shoulder and sits next to me, “How’re you doing, brother? How is Lyra?” He asks, glancing at her then back at me.

“I’ll be fine, I am more worried about her. You know how she gets,” I rub my hands over my face then drop them onto my lap, “She told me earlier that she still wants to go into the riders quadrant.”

My best friend’s eyebrows raise a bit at that statement, “Even after seeing Codagh and what he can do…really? I guess she’s been serious all these years when she’s said that she feels a pull towards them.”

“Yeah, that’s exactly what I said. I’m also concerned about how trusting she is. She thinks everyone has a soul like hers,” I pause after that, fear clutching my heart, “When we go to these foster homes what if someone hurts her? I don’t think the generals will be kind enough to house us together.”

“There’s nothing you can do to change their minds, Xaden,” Garrick says firmly but not without sympathy, “Make your peace with that and focus on surviving the next three years until we get to Basgiath.”

I exhale heavily but nod, knowing that he’s speaking the truth. I rise to my feet then extend my hand to help him up, we both head to our beds and I think through the past few months.

I’ve gotten harder and meaner, but Lyra? She sees the terrible things people do to one another and tries to always find the good, she doesn’t always think with her head and will do anything to make sure that those she loves and cares for are safe. I saw it today when all she wanted to do was crumble, but pushed herself to take care of the young ones.

I turn my head to look at the blue-eyed, dark haired girl who is now the most important person in my life, and try to follow Garrick’s advice. We’ll part ways in the next few days and likely won’t see each other for six years where she’ll go into the most deadly quadrant there is. I shake my head as I imagine her there…my gentle little sister is not made for that life, but who am I to tell her? That’s all our father ever did and she’ll never admit it but not having his confidence broke her heart.

The last thing that passes through my head before I fall asleep is that I’ll do anything to protect her and I hope she never feels the heartbreak she felt today again.

A door snapping shut wakes me the next morning, and I can see from the dim light streaming in through the windows that Lyra isn’t in her bed. She’s never been an early riser, but if I had to guess she’s using the restroom and making sure all of her needs are taken care of before attending to the children.

After sitting up and running a hand through my hair I go to grab a cup of water and an apple. I can see Bodhi and Garrick stirring and head over to them; I sit on the edge of Garrick’s bed and nod at my cousin across from me. Sloane exits the women’s room, sees the three of us awake, and heads over to us. She perches on the end of Bodhi’s bed then says two words that has me wondering if I’m actually awake or if I’m in a nightmare:

“Where’s Lyra?”

The apple I’ve yet to take a bite out of hits the floor and my family watches it roll for a moment before looking back at me, “She’s not in the restroom?” I ask, but she’s already shaking her head.

I’m on my feet then and stride across the room to bang on the locked door, “Hey! Someone needs to tell me where Lyra Riorson has been taken.”

“Xaden, take a breath, how do you know they took her?” Garrick backs away when I turn to look at him with a glare, when he says nothing else I resume banging on the door.

“Do you see any other entrances in this room, Garrick? No. Did she walk through the walls for a nighttime stroll? No. They took her.” Liam snaps and I pause to see him, Bodhi, and Sloane watching me. I’m relieved to see that they are on the same page as me.

I pause my banging on the door when I hear a guard shouting for my attention, “Back away from the door and we will tell you where she is.”

I snarl softly but back up until I’m standing next to Liam; one glimpse at his face and I can see that he’s one wrong word away from losing his shit. If anyone in this room loves May more than me or Bodhi it would be Liam.

A male guard slides a hidden panel to the side so that we can see his face, “Lyra Riorson has been brought to General’s Sorrengail to answer some questions.”

He goes to slide the panel shut but I’m there before he can, my arm shoots out through the space and grabs the guard by the collar of his uniform. “Why her? She’s only 14 years old. She doesn’t know anything!” The guard doesn’t answer me as he wrestles himself out my grip, and I yank my arm back before he can slam the panel shut.

“Fuck!” I exclaim and turn around to see Liam and Bodhi dragging one of the bedframes over to the door, the mattress having been thrown off. Garrick and I grab the other side of it then heave it against the door. It takes quite a few hits until I see the door frame start to give, we ignore the guards shouting at us to stop because she’s safe and is just answering some questions. Like hell will I stop, I’ll stop when I have my sister back in my sight. If they wanted to talk to her about something unimportant, why did they take her while we were sleeping?

I drop the frame and spring forward when the door finally gives enough for me to squeeze through it; I slam the guard from before against the wall and hold him there with my forearm across his neck, “Where is she?” When he doesn’t answer I pull him forward and shove him back so that his head hits the wall, “Answer me, where is she?!”

“She is safe, for now, and you need to let go of me before my squad gets ahold of you.” He pushes against me and I don’t have a chance to push back before being shoved away and back into the room by his team. By the rumpled clothes of my family and how they’re all panting, I can see that they also tried to get out of the door but were forced back.

“Hey! Do you think this door is really going to hold for much longer? Bring us to her and we won’t hurt you.” Bodhi shouts at the door and I hear a guard snort on the other side at the idea that we could hurt them. Unfortunately, I know that they’re right, we don’t have any weapons and only Garrick and I have done intense combat training.

I can’t stop until I know Lyra is alright though, so I steel myself to throw myself at the door when a new voice says, “I will take you to your sister to receive the proof you need that she is alive and well. If anymore harm comes to these guards, she will not be alive and well due to a deal she is currently making with General Sorrengail.” The air leaves my lungs in a rush and I have to think about the very advice I’ve given Lyra about how to calm her breathing.

I run to put my shoes on then halt in front of the door, I glance at my family, “Do not try to escape, keep everyone contained, and no fighting.” Garrick nods and makes a point to go stand near Liam who looks like he’s about to throw something.

The door opens a crack then creaks open all the way, I step through it and keep my hands clasped behind my back.

The guards and I make our way through different hallways and staircases, we halt after the third staircase and the one in charge says, “If you interfere, speak to her, or try to stop what is happening…she will be dead before you can blink.” I squeeze my hands together behind my back then nod once to show that I understand.

We move forward slowly and I recognize the fact that they’re trying to not make any noise. When I hear someone speak I recognize General Sorrengail’s voice. Name them? Name who? I know she is not putting herself on the line for us…but actually yes she would. I silently push past the lead guard and stop short when I see what’s in front of me: General Melgren is holding my little sister down in a wooden chair, Lilith Sorrengail has my baby sisters arm in a vice grip and has a fucking dagger pressed against the tan skin of her upper arm. My eyes move to what I can see of May, but it’s not much. She’s facing away from me, and all I can do is watch as she inhales then says my name. I grit my teeth and lock my knees to keep from dropping to the floor when she cries out and I see the blood flow.

I focus on counting my breaths as she lists off four other names, the names of our family, and watch as she slides out of her chair completely to land in a heap on the floor.

I don’t hear what Sorrengail says to her and all other information flies out of my brain when I hear her begging our enemy for me, I take a step forward into the room but get yanked back immediately. I go to tug my arm out of the guards grip but before I can he whispers, “You will wait to see if you’re allowed to approach! If you move again I’ll kill her then you.”

Lyra doesn’t even seem to register the harsh, hushed words but my gaze is on Lilith as she locks eyes with me then asks my baby sister a question. She must agree because then the evil woman is moving towards me and says, “You have four minutes.”

I pull myself out of the guards grip and fly to Lyra and land heavy, too heavy because I startle her and she cries out while cradling her right arm.

She looks up at me and meets my gaze and we both know this is it…she is actively memorizing everything about me and I find myself doing the same. From her long, dark brown almost black hair to her dark blue eyes with flecks of silver.

When she tells me she loves and asks me to tell our family that she’ll see them when she arrives at Basgiath I know our time is up.

I embrace her and hold her tight, I watch General Sorrengail approach with a needle and syringe then feel Lyra go limp in my arms. I kiss her head and lift her into my arms, “Stay alive little sister, I will see you in six years.” I continue to murmur to her until a female guard approaches me and gestures that she’ll take Lyra.

I watch her leave with my entire world in her arms then turn to Lilith who has been watching silently, “Where are you taking her? Who is her new foster family?”

She looks me up and down then says, “You don’t need to worry about that, focus on training and get your marked ones prepared to enter a quadrant that wants to see you all fail.”

“She’s my baby sister, I deserve to know where she’ll be.” I argue.

“You deserve nothing. You have yet to prove that you deserve to live, but due to the deal I’ve just made with your sister you will live and behave so that she lives.” She dismisses me with a glance and turns to the guard who led me here, “Take him back to the others.”

“Lyra has personally taken responsibility for us five and our actions, and the rest of you who are to join the riders quadrant with us when you get to be of age.” I say to the room of children and teens watching me.

I nod at a boy, about age 13, who raises his hand, “What if I don’t want to be a rider? Over half of them die anyways. I’m not joining that quadrant just because you said I needed to.”

He realizes his mistake instantly when I stride forward and bend down to get in his face, “Whether you want to be a rider or not isn’t my concern nor do I care. We are the children of traitors, we could have all been killed at anytime, but now we have a chance. A chance because Lyra put herself on the line. Are you going to allow my sister to die for you because you’re too scared to fight for your own life?”

Tears have welled up in his eyes by now but he shakes his head, “No, Xaden, I’m sorry. I like Lyra, I won’t let her die because I didn’t join the riders quadrant.”

I back up then nod, looking around the room at the sea of wide eyes, “Anybody else have a problem with joining the riders quadrant? No? Good. Because wherever you get fostered, you need to train. You need to eat right and bulk up so that by the time you turn 20 and arrive at Basgiath you’re ready.” As if that was the cue for them to appear, the door behind me opens and in walks a group of guards along with a Colonel I saw hovering behind General Sorrengail yesterday.

Chapter Text

Safe. Loved. Warm. The staff in Riorson House all know how I have attacks that are caused by anxiety and stress, so they all make the time to get to know me to ensure I don’t get startled by their presence. I can hear one of them moving around my bedroom now, but I’m so comfortable in this bed that I don’t want to wake fully and greet them. My right arm feels heavy…did I sleep on it funny? I go to extend my arms above my head in a stretch but holy shit that hurts-

My eyes snap open and I immediately feel my chest tighten.

My ceiling at home doesn’t look like that.

I move my left hand over the heavy blanket on me to try and focus on the feeling of the embroidery but it’s not helping.

Where am I?

I move my arms up under myself and try to shift so that I’m sitting up in the bed but nearly scream at the pain, Did I fall? I don’t think I-

I gasp when I look at my upper arm, it’s wrapped in a bandage and there’s blood soaking through in some places.

I successfully use one arm to sit up and fall back against the headboard as the events of the past few days crash into me. I immediately wish I could go back to not remembering what happened, but I also know that I need to find out what’s going on and where I’m at.

My breathing turns into panting and I clutch my right arm to my chest so that I’m hugging myself. My head snaps to the left when I see movement and fight the urge to throw up when I see General Sorrengail sitting in the armchair next to my bed.

“Good afternoon, Lyra. I’m glad you’re finally awake.” She speaks as if she hadn’t been the one to slice into my arm five times and I blink at her.

“Don’t want to talk? That’s fine, I wanted to be in here when you woke up to talk with you.” She keeps her eyes on my face, and I dedicate my attention to keeping my heart rate calm so I don’t pass out, “I’m the commanding general at Basgiath War College, and as I’m your new foster mother, you are in your new room in my quarters. My daughters live here as well, but my oldest daughter will be leaving us soon to join the riders quadrant.”

I gasp quietly as my mind reels at this information, but Lilith isn’t done yet, “You asked me why I wasn’t talking to Xaden about what he planned to do with what he knew, and it’s because you are more vital to what I have planned. Don’t ask me what it is, I’m not telling you.” She locks a glare on me and I shut my mouth again, what’s the point of telling me she has a plan if she’s not going to tell me what it is?

“You will spend the next six years training so that when you make it to the quadrant there’s no question that you belong there. You will be the best because Sorrengail’s don’t fail.”

My lil curls at that and I can’t keep the disgust from my voice, “I am not a Sorrengail-“

“You are living under my roof. I will feed you, I will get trainers to train you, you will be polite and civilized. You will act like a lady, and in front of the public you will behave the way Sorrengail’s are expected to. No one outside of my family is to know you are Fen Riorson’s daughter. I will tell certain people as I see fit. Is this in any way unclear?” General Sorrengail interrupts me and waits for my answer.

My family’s faces flash in front of my eyes and I exhale, this is for them. All for them so that I know they’re safe, “It is not unclear.” I sit up higher in bed and clasp my hands together on my lap.

She nods, “The general public will think you’re a relative who has come to live with me and my family. You are a Sorrengail from now until you step foot on that courtyard in six years.”

She gets up, walking to the door as she tells me to get up and dressed then join them in the dining room for dinner in an hour. I’ve been asleep all day, but I’m still utterly exhausted.

I walk into the bathroom and take a moment to look at myself. “Lyra Riorson.” I whisper quietly to myself and close my eyes. I allow myself a few minutes to tuck that part of myself into a safe place in my heart then open my eyes to Lyra Sorrengail. I look the same but I feel different and I know it’s because there’s no going back now. From the moment I step out of this room I’ll always need to be on guard.

I look at the counter then and see medical supplies for my arm. I gently peel the tape off my skin and pull the gauze off my arm. The cuts are deep but aren’t bleeding nearly as much now. I strip out of the rest of my clothes, turn the shower on, then step under the spray. I keep my wounded arm away until I get used to the temperature, brace myself, then let the water hit it. Gasping, I gently use a washcloth to clean away the crusted blood. After my arm is clean I undo my hair from its braid and feel it brush against my lower back. I wash my hair and take my time to relax under the water.

About an hour later I’m walking down the hall feeling like my heart is about to explode out of my chest. I’m in a comfortable set of pants and a tank top, my arm is rewrapped, and my hair is done half up half down. It feels like armor around my shoulders, and I welcome any help I can get to face whatever’s next.

I hear raised voices and pause outside of the cracked door to what I assume is the dining room, “Fen Riorson’s daughter, mom?! Are you fucking serious?!” I see through the door that it’s a young woman a few years older than me and know that this must be the daughter about to go to the riders quadrant, “He killed Brennan! Why is she here?”

I flinch and wonder who Brennan is, maybe a brother? A boyfriend?

“She’s here because I brought her here. Watch yourself, Mira. You would do well to remember that I’ll be your general in a matter of days.” Lilith’s voice is glacial and I hear Mira scoff.

“That’s not an answer, General.” Mira snarls.

I don’t hear what is said in response because I startle when I feel a small hand on my elbow. I look down to see someone who looks similar to Mira and Lilith staring up at me except that she is tiny and has hair as long as mine.

“Are you going to stand out here all night? Or were you planning on walking in there at some point?” She asks bluntly and my jaw drops.

“I didn’t think it wise to interrupt the General and Mira,” I say glancing back at the door.

“Ahh I see, well you should. They respect people who don’t cower.” She says that with a nasty tone in her voice, but I can’t identify what emotion is fueling it.

I nod my head and know she’s right, both of the women in the room next to me would be totally fine going head to head with Xaden without blinking an eye. I take a breath and straighten my back before pushing the door open and entering.

I muster as much courage as I have when I pause in front of the two women and extend my hand to Mira, “Hello, I’m Lyra. I look forward to getting to know you.”

She looks me up and down, eyes pausing at the gauze on my upper arm and again as she takes in my hair. “Mira. I’m sorry to say that I can’t return the sentiment. You shouldn’t be here.” She turns away without shaking my hand then looks ready to start arguing with her mother again.

Before Lilith can respond to her oldest daughter I snap, “Well it’s a good thing I wasn’t looking for your approval. I’m here, and I’m not leaving.” With that, I take a seat at the table.

Mira blinks in shock for one moment then moves to sit across from me with an intrigued expression on her face. When the small girl from the hallway enters I can see she’s fighting a smile and comes to sit next to me.

“Lyra, you’ve already met Mira. This is my youngest, Violet. She is your age.” General Sorrengail sits at the head of the table and motions for the attendants to start bringing the food out.

“Where is dad? He’s not joining us?” Mira asks with a look at her mother who shakes her head then begins dishing herself food.

The rest of dinner passes with Mira taking a few digs at me about Xaden and my father, but I keep it together. I can see by the end of it that she’s impressed and even shakes my hand before we all split for bed.

I sit on the edge of my bed as soon as I get to my room, plait my hair in a single braid down my back, then pass out.

Chapter Text

Hot. It’s too hot in here. I can’t get any air in my lungs.

I throw the blankets off of myself and hurry into the bathroom. My breath is coming out in pants and I can’t get my brain to calm down; I haven’t felt like this in a long time but I think the stress from the past few days has caught up with me. My hands are tingling and I start shaking them out while pacing around the bathroom. I sit down on the floor against the shower when my panting changes to gasps and press my hands flat to the floor in an attempt to ground myself.

It’s not helping.

Think Lyra, what else will calm me down?

I turn around completely to look up at the shower head then shift to turn the shower on cold. I hate being cold, but I’m hoping this will shock my system into breathing normal again. My head is spinning and I don’t feel strong enough to lift my arms or legs to remove my camisole and shorts, so I crawl under the spray of the water in my pajamas. I gasp at the temperature but this time I feel a gust of air enter my lungs.

When I exhale it’s a sob and it’s like opening a dam, I can’t stop the tears or quiet them. I mainly want to quiet them so I don’t wake anyone; I reach up after a moment to make the water warmer then curl up on the floor of the shower.

Under the steady stream of water, I count my breathing. I lose count when there’s a quiet knock on the door frame that leads from my bedroom to the bathroom.

“Lyra? It’s me, Violet,” I turn my head from where I’m still curled up on the floor and see the silver ends of her hair as she crouches down outside the shower in her nightclothes. “Are you okay?”

I open my mouth to answer but instead choke down another sob. I shake my head and she makes a soft noise in the back of her throat.

I feel myself tense when she climbs in the shower with me and sits next to me, but when she starts combing her fingers through my hair I feel myself relax. She pulls my head into her lap and lets me cry myself out.

After I’ve taken a few steadying breaths I push myself up into a sitting position with my left arm, and turn off the shower with my right. I wince at the pull of the wounds then notice Violet watching me.

“Uh…thank you.” I murmur, “Thank you for coming to check on me and for helping calm me down.”

Violet doesn’t answer, she’s still staring at the now soaking wet gauze on my arm and I see her eyes widen when blood starts to soak through. “It’s not that bad, it’s healing. They’re deep though so when I move my arm I crack the blood clotted there so it starts bleeding again.” Looking back at my arm I pull the sopping gauze off then make my way to my feet. Violet tracks my movement then takes my hand to pull herself up when I offer it.

“What happened? Why haven’t you gotten them mended yet? Were they intentional? They’re quite precise.” She fires off questions immediately after standing up, but instead of answering her I hand her a towel.

“I won’t be able to go back to sleep for a while, if you go change then come back…we can talk? If you want to that is,” I grab a towel for myself and wait for her response, wringing my hair out then twisting it up into a bun. I still feel shaky but I know talking things out will help me calm down even further.

“I’ll be right back,” Violet hurries out of the door and I hear my bedroom door snap shut a couple seconds later.

Less than five minutes later, I’m in a new set of nightclothes. I’m sitting up against the headboard of my bed under the covers and Violet is next to me. Once she’s settled under the covers she looks at me expectantly.

I inhale deeply then jump right into it, “I made a deal with your mother to save my brother, my cousin, and three of my close friends. They’re all the family I have left. Melgren wanted to kill them because they can’t be controlled…all the marked ones are required to go into the riders quadrant with me when they get to be of age.” I pause to collect my thoughts, “It’s a Tyrrish custom, we bear the marks for those we’re responsible for and if the terms of the deal are broken…I’ll be killed.”

Violet looks like she wants to throw up, “My mother did that to you? She allowed Melgren to threaten your family?”

I nod my head and she reaches out to hold my hand. I start to pull my hand away but stop when I realize that I trust her not to hurt me. It could have to do with the fact that I’m at least thirty pounds heavier than her so she really isn’t dangerous, but there’s also something about her that makes me yearn to be close to her. I want to be her friend, I realize. I don’t want to be alone here for the next six years, I wouldn’t make it.

We spend hours talking about our childhood after that, still holding hands.

I tell her all about my family and how we would spend one Saturday a month together all day. She laughs as I tell stories about Xaden and Garrick wrestling with each other; she laughs even harder when I tell her about how they broke a coffee table one time. They’d had to try and find a way to either fix it or hide it before dad saw, but failed miserably. They were forbidden from wrestling in the house from then on and I can still hear my dad chuckling to me after he’d sent them away to clean up their mess, shaking his head the whole time.

She tells me all about how she spends most of her time in the archives with her father, she wants to be a scribe. She tells me about her siblings and how she loves them more than anything, and how she is with her parents. I’m surprised to learn that she’s not close to her mother, but finding myself smiling as she gushes about her father. She seems to worship the ground he walks on and I know that must be how I sound when I talk about my dad. I learn that she has a condition that causes her joints to dislocate and her bones to break easily. I flinch then offer to help train her muscles so that they’re stronger; she agrees then asks if there’s anything I want to know more about so she can tutor me in exchange for the training.

I think about it for a moment then know exactly what I’m going to ask. She has access to countless records and she’s got to be able to find information on the barrens and the creatures that come from it. The libraries at home had some information, but we learned all of it and I hope to the gods that they have more for us to learn here.

After realizing I’ve been in my head and she’s still waiting on an answer I nod, “What do you know about venin and wyvern?”

She blinks and laughs, “Like the ones from our folklore?” I nod and keep my face neutral. She slowly loses the grin on her face and tilts her head. “Why do you want to know about them? My dad reads a book to me about them, but it’s a book of fables. They’re not real.”

I shake my head and gently squeeze her hand, “They’re real…the rebellion was started because my dad wanted everyone to know. He said they deserve the chance to fight back. Navarre leadership obviously disagrees with that. Your mom asked me what I planned to do with what I know, but I still don’t know the answer to that.”

Violet is quiet for a long time. I startle slightly when she speaks again, “I think that we need to use the next six years as a gift to get strong and learn everything we can about the venin.” I widen my eyes but nod my head as she continues, “I’ll look through all of the information I can find the next time I’m in the archives.”

“Thank you Violet,” I whisper, “I’m glad that I have you here with me. I don’t know what I was expecting, but it wasn’t kindness. It surely wasn’t a stranger coming to comfort me in the shower while I was losing my mind. I wish that I was with Xaden, but maybe my dad sent me you since I can’t be with him.”

She nods and squeezes my hand, “I know we just met, but I feel drawn to you. You aren’t alone here, Lyra. You have a sister here until you’re able to see your big brother again.”

The tears that suddenly fall down my cheeks take me by surprise, but I smile at Violet. “Thank you, Vi, I love that you want to be my sister.” I gasp quietly when she starts crying herself and shift forward to pull her into a hug, “What is it? What’s wrong?”

“I’m overwhelmed. I’m mad at leadership and my mom for taking a huge decision away from people, I’m mortified that you now bear wounds that were caused by my mother, I’m devastated that you won’t get to see Xaden for six years… there’s so much and I’m overwhelmed. I also never imagined I would be getting close with the daughter of the man that killed my brother.”

I flinch at the last couple of words but understand where she’s coming from, “I know, I never imagined getting close to the daughter of the woman who helped kill my father. Or who cut into my flesh deep enough that it’s still bleeding almost two days later.”

Violet flinches this time but when we look into each other’s eyes we start laughing. We laugh until we can’t breathe and when I finally let go of her hand to lay down in my bed, utterly exhausted, she lays down too.

Before falling fast asleep, I thank the gods for sending me a friend…for sending me a sister who is a tiny firecracker and says what she thinks no matter what.

Chapter Text

~Age 14~

I establish a daily routine while staying with the Sorrengail’s very quickly.

Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays I wake up before the sunrise to get ready then eat a small breakfast. I’m in the private gym for hand-to-hand training that shifts into weapons training until lunchtime. After lunch I lift weights then go for either a run or a jog, depending on how tired I am. By this point it’s about an hour before dinner so I go to my room to shower and change into comfortable clothes.

Tuesdays and Thursdays are dedicated to class time and I learn about everything. History, math, science, languages…some days it feels like Lilith brought me here simply to torture me by forcing me to stay in a classroom for 6 hours without a break. I don’t know how Violet does this five days a week, for 9 hours a day; I was ready to throw my book at the tutor day one, hour one. After my time in the classroom, and the lunch that gets served around hour 5, I pretty much sprint to the gym to do cardio until I’ve burned all my energy off. I pass the same set of guards every time I’m fleeing the classroom and they’re always trying to hide the grins on their faces as I fly past them. After I’ve ran all my pent up energy out, I head to my chambers to shower and change.

General Sorrengail came to my room the first Monday I was to begin training with a stack of long-sleeved shirts and thick gloves. I remember how I had looked at them for a moment then stared at her for an explanation. She’d looked at me like I was an idiot before saying that my identity wouldn’t stay hidden easily if my rebellion relic was on full display, plus with the scars on my arm it would be only too easy to figure out exactly who I was.

The thought of getting out of my day clothes and into comfortable clothes is what keeps me going throughout the day. I despise wearing long sleeves all day, but I was able to find some that are thin and breathable so it’s bearable. I also managed to find thin gloves so that the sweating is more manageable. I hate the gloves the most so those are the first things I strip off everyday. My relic extends onto the top of my hand and I sometimes find myself wishing that it could’ve started at my wrist so I didn’t have to wear the damned gloves.

Saturday’s and Sunday’s are spent hanging out with Violet, we find a secluded part of Basgiath to hang out in or we go for walks around the campus. We usually steer clear of town, and walk along the river in the woods surrounding the college.

Her muscles have gotten much stronger since we’ve started training together, and I’ve gotten more knowledgeable about all the crap I find boring enough to nap through but will get tested on after I start in the riders quadrant. Violet quite enjoys it when I fall asleep while she’s tutoring me because it gives her the opportunity to practice her punches and kicks. They don’t hurt terribly but it does jerk me awake.

Shortly after I started living with them Violet introduced me to her best friend, Dain. She thinks that the world revolves around him, and they’ve been friends forever. He is really fun to spar with because he challenges me and doesn’t hold back. I’ve beaten him a couple of times by now, but the first few times we sparred I held back and ended up needing to go to Nolon because of a broken nose and a fractured rib. He pushes me to be ruthless against my opponent no matter who they are, which is hard. I don’t want to hurt anyone, but his constant reminder is that gentle people don’t make it in the riders quadrant.

I absolutely see his logic, so I make a deal with myself: I can still be gentle and kind but as soon as I perceive a threat I have to be vicious. He realizes quickly that I’ve taken his words to heart when I put him on his ass for trying to scare me when I was getting a sip of water.

Dain and I regularly work out with a few other people, all of us want to join the riders quadrant, and it’s always a test on my self control because they are very vocal about their dislike of the members of the rebellion. The day that word got out about all marked ones being conscripted into the riders quadrant because of a deal being made was the hardest by far. They had all started talking about how the children of traitors didn’t deserve the chance to live let alone the privilege of bonding a dragon.

~Age 15-16~

I’ve done nothing but eat, sleep, and train the past two years.

The attacks I would get at least three times a week due to my anxiety are under control and it’s rare that I have one now. I find that if I do get one it’s after a nightmare, and I know that day will be a bad day for me.

Violet and I share a wall so she always comes in to share the bed with me after I wake up with a shriek, we don’t ever have to say anything. She just climbs in the bed and starts playing with my hair until I can fall back asleep.

We’ve started signing to each other because when I have bad days I find that talking is exhausting, and she helps keep my mind occupied. Some days I’ll go to the archives with her and Mr. Sorrengail where she and I will spend hours signing with Jesinia. I enjoy her company because it’s so easy to be around her.

Violet hasn’t been able to find anything about venin or wyvern in any of the scholarly texts, so we keep her beloved copy of The Fables of the Barren safe in her room unless Violet’s dad is feeling well enough to read to us. Mr. Sorrengail has spells where he is unable to leave the bed and finds it impossible to eat, and if I could diagnose him I’d say he’s suffering from a broken heart. Brennan’s death hit them hard, and I find myself nauseous with guilt anytime I think about the person behind his death.

Mira’s excelling during her time in the riders quadrant, and she came to see us after her first year ended. I remember how she came to find me in the gym, intending on catching me by surprise, but ended up with my foot in her stomach because I didn’t realize it was her. I’d been worried she was going to go back to hating me after this, but she just laughed, said “let’s go then, sis” and swung at me.

We wrestled with each other for over an hour and by the end of it I knew that I had gained her respect. I’d also gained a bruised cheek, broken nose, and two broken toes alongside her bruised ribs and broken knuckles, but it was worth it to get the fearsome Mira to finally realize I wasn’t a terrible person just because of who my dad was.

Violet had shouted at both of us for being idiotic when she came to find us in all of our bruised and bloody glory then demanded to know why we hadn’t just talked it out like normal people. We both tried to defend ourselves by saying we had been talking…while also punching, but she’d snapped at us to shut up then literally dragged us by our ears to Nolon.

She writes Violet and I letters every month telling us about life in the quadrant. She bonded a green clubtail named Teine and I absolutely cannot wait to meet him; Lilith quickly learned of my fascination with the dragons and allowed me to meet her brown dragon, Aimsir. I was slightly concerned about offending him by making eye contact, but Lilith told me to be confident and that I’d be fine. I talked to him for over thirty minutes about my excitement to join the quadrant and he just listened, his head tilted to the side. I felt bad for Violet because her mother refused outright to allow her to accompany us to meet him, but I told her all about it when I got back to my room.

~Age 17-18~

Violet and I have started sneaking around on Saturday afternoons to go sit on one of the highest turrets at Basgiath to watch the bonded dragons fly overhead. The first time we did it, I told Violet all about the different colors and the different tails. She was interested to learn about the different temperaments based on the color of the dragon. I don’t think anyone knows we do this every week which I’m relieved about because I don’t want to explain to the general why I have her soon to be scribe daughter on the roof of a turret.

About a year after we started doing this I nearly fell off the turret because I saw a beautiful navy blue dragon fly above us; it was my first time ever seeing a blue dragon. After asking me about the rarity of each color, we both decided we were curious about black dragons because I only know of one. I told her all I could remember about Codagh then we retired early that night because my head got loud from all the memories of that day.

~Age 19~

The bond between Violet and I is unbreakable now because we have both helped each other through terrible times. Mr. Sorrengail passed away from his broken heart, and Violet is devastated.

Her and I have been sleeping in the same bed for over six months now because when she wakes up with nightmares she knows she can scoot over to me and I’ll hold her until she can breathe again. Her nightmares have increased tenfold recently because Lilith dropped a bomb: Violet is no longer joining the scribes…she’s going into the riders quadrant with me.

I close my eyes as I think back to that night:

“Come on, Violet,” I say as I jump down the last foot to land on the floor of the turret, “We should-fuck.”

Violet snorts, “You know I love our sisterly relationship…you’re beautiful but I don’t wanna fuck.” I want to laugh at that but I can’t. I turn around to catch her then put her gently on the ground without answering, looking at the threat in front of me.

“What, no response-oh shit.” Violet pulls up short when she finally sees her mom standing in front of the door.

“Hello ladies, I thought it was finally time I personally came to see where you both disappear to every Saturday. I’m not surprised that you’ve been coming to watch the dragons.” She turns her gaze to me, “I suppose this was your idea?”

I nod my head once, my brain is scrambling, “I-we-“

“Oh don’t look so scared, you’re not in trouble. You never approached any of them or tried to communicate with the riders. I’ve known this whole time, and I’ve had someone observe you each time.” Lilith pauses then looks at Violet, “It’s a good thing you seem to be just as interested in the dragons because you’ll be bonding one.”

Violet looks confused at first then horrified, “What? No. I’m not bonding a dragon. I’m going to the archives like dad wanted me to.”

When Vi turns to look at me, pleading with her eyes to tell me that she needs my support, I say, “She cannot go into the riders quadrant, are you crazy? Not only has she not been training like me for the last few years, but making her join when people hate you is putting a giant target on her back.” I shake my head at her in disbelief.

“This actually isn’t even a discussion. It’s already done. She will now train with you everyday starting this week until conscription day. Neither of you are participating in the classroom sessions anymore so I expect to see you both in the gym with the trainers Monday-Friday.” She turns to leave and I rush forward to grab her arm. “General, you cannot do this. Please reverse this, she needs to go into the scribe quadrant.”

She jerks her arm out of my grip and says, “I will see you both at dinner in an hour. I expect you both to be in pleasant moods; this is for the best so make your peace with it.”

I stand there in shock for a moment before hearing a choked sound behind me. Violet’s legs give out and I run to catch her before she hits the ground.

“I’m going to die. She’s trying to kill me. I know she hates me, but I didn’t think she’d actually try to kill me.” Violet’s crying and I hold her to my chest then slowly drop us both to the ground.

“I’m sorry, Violet. I’m so fucking sorry. I feel like this is all my fault. I never should’ve brought you up here.” I force my breathing to stay calm, I will not panic while she needs me to be strong.

Violet doesn’t answer me verbally but hugs me tighter which I know is her saying she doesn’t blame me. We sit like this for 20 minutes before Violet has cried herself out, I can feel her syncing her breathing with mine to further calm down.

When she pulls back I can’t help the smile the appears, she has that look on her face that says she’s going to fuck shit up.

“You know what, Lyra? We’re going to roll with this. Mom is going to regret ever doing this because we’re going to set a new standard for everyone.”

“Hell yeah, we’re going to be badass. No one is going to know what to do about the Sorrengail women.” I silently fingerspell “Riorson” to her and she nods emphatically then signs, “The Riorson and Sorrengail women…they’re not ready for us.”

I wrap my arms tightly around Violet who’s just laid her head on my shoulder. She keeps it together during the day, but when she falls asleep her nightmares show her all of the fears that she has about joining the quadrant.

Chapter Text

In exactly one year from today, I’ll be getting ready to cross the parapet to start my dream.

I can’t wait because that also means I’ll get to see my family again. I smile as I think about them and how much they’ve all changed. Bodhi will be arriving at Basgiath today and I so wish I could go down into the courtyard to find him.

Violet was out of bed hours ago with the intent to run all day to try and forget about next year.

I’ve just gotten out of bed intending to go shower when there’s a quick knock on my door before it swings open. My brain is still half asleep, but I dive for the robe at the end of the bed to put it on because who the hell would be knocking on my door? Violet and Lilith both simply walk in if they need me.

I haven’t even grabbed it when I hear, “Lyra, I know it’s early but can we still go for a jog-what is that?” Dain’s voice makes my blood turn to ice and I’m frozen, halfway to my robe. I’m in my nightclothes, a spaghetti strap camisole and shorts…and he can see my arms.

Fuck. He doesn’t know. He doesn’t know who I really am and he sees it now.

“Dain…” I breathe as I turn my head to look at him, still reaching for my robe.

He’s staring at my left arm like the relic is going to climb off my arm and come bite him. When he hears me say his name again he seems to come out of a stupor and that’s when I see it.

The betrayal.

It’s written all over his face and suddenly the man standing in front of me is a stranger.

I forget about the robe and stand up straight slowly, afraid that any sudden movements will have Dain reacting. We’ve sparred together countless times over the past few years and he’s fucking strong; I’ve beaten him a enough times to know that I can, but I also know that when he’s mad he’s dangerous. If I’m able to pin him I may have a chance of talking to him…if he gets his arms around me I’m fucked.

I blink and realize that I’m looking at my close friend as an enemy and start to feel bad, but when he moves to shut the door quietly behind him I know we’re about to figure out our issues whether I’m ready to or not.

There’s a few candles still burning in my room, but it’s not nearly as bright as I would like it.

“Can we talk about this? Instead of you looking like you’d like to kick my ass?” I try for humor even though my heart resembles a hummingbirds wings.

“No. There’s nothing to talk about, you’ve been lying to me. You allowed me to get close to you, trust you, and you’re really one of them. A fucking traitors kid.”

I flush with anger at the last comment and take a small step forward, nervousness temporarily forgotten. “Is it really me you’re mad at? Because it sounds like you’re just mad that you didn’t figure it out all these years.” I knew as I said those words they would be the tipping point, but I wasn’t ready for him to stride forward and shove me up against the wall with a hand against my throat.

“Shut up.” Dain snarls, and I flinch.

He’s never spoken to me this way, and suddenly I’m back in a little room with General Melgren getting in my face. “I’m going to find out who you really are today no matter what, and I don’t need to hear your voice to do that.”

“I’m sorry, Dain,” I whimper, my voice betraying my fear, “I’m not allowed to tell anyone. Let go, please let me go.” I need to breathe, I know how to get out of worse positions than this, but I can’t. My brain is frozen and I can’t remember how to move.

“Nah. I don’t think I will.” He tightens his grip on my throat and moves me off the wall by my neck. I feel the backs of my legs hit the mattress and utter terror has me pushing back against him. I don’t know what his plan is, but I do not want any part of it happening.

“No!” I gasp, becoming painfully aware of the fact that I’m still in my silk pajamas that don’t cover much of anything. I feel incredibly vulnerable wearing only my pajamas while he is fully dressed and wearing shoes.

He moves the hand that had been around my throat to the back of my head, grabs a handful of my hair, and yanks my head back until I’m clenching my teeth together to keep from crying out.

“Stop fighting. This won’t hurt unless you make me hurt you. I only want to know the truth.” The tone of voice Dain uses has me balling my hands into fists, I hit him on the chest but he completely ignores it.

When I bring my leg up to kick at his groin he catches it easily then shoves it back down. I shudder when I watch as he realizes he touched my skin. His eyes move over my thin pajamas and stop on my heaving chest.

I can see it in his eyes when he remembers my aversion to having anyone but Violet touch me outside of the gym.

“This isn’t you, Dain, please let me go.” He answers by pulling up on my hair hard enough I feel like it’s going to be ripped from my scalp. I follow his hand and scoot up onto the bed and move until he lessens the pressure on my hair.

He pushes me down until I’m laying on my pillows and he settles himself above me, in between my thighs. I cringe and try to shift away when I can feel something hard against my leg.

He grabs my wrists and pulls them up over my head, “If you move these I will cut your hair.” I grasp onto the bottom of my headboard tight enough that it feels like I’m cutting my fingers but I don’t care.

Some small part of my brain is cursing myself for getting close to him and allowing him to know all of my weaknesses; I unknowingly gave him everything he needs to read me without words.

He drags his hands down my body and all I can do is try to remember to breathe, all of my training and logical thought have abandoned me. My nightclothes are thin enough that I can feel the heat coming off of him and I’m bracing for the worst when he sits back on his heels and looks down at me. Instinct has me clenching my thighs to shut them so he doesn’t have such easy access, but he smacks his palms down onto them and pushes down. I bite back a cry then relax my thighs so that they’re open the way he wants them. He smooths his hands down over the red marks now on my thighs then moves his hands until the tips of his fingers are brushing against the hem of my shorts.

“I’ve noticed how you don’t ever allow anyone to touch you, Lyra, why is that? Are you scared of what the big, tough men will do to you?” He taunts as his fingers rub tiny circles on my skin.

“Touching-“ I gasp and fight tears when he pushes his hands under the edge of my shorts. “Touching me is earned and no one has earned that right. And you being one of those big tough men proves that I was correct in my fear.”

He smirks then pulls his hands away, I exhale in relief before immediately tensing again when he moves over me and sits down on my lap. His weight forces my legs flat onto the bed and I lose access to the strongest part of my body. He leans forward while sliding his hands under my camisole, I whimper at the feel of his hands on me and fight nausea at the hardness pressing against my belly.

This is all wrong, he doesn’t have permission to be touching me. He knows I don’t like people touching me. What can I do what can I do what can I-

His knuckles brush the underside of my breasts and he groans, his fingers twitch but he doesn’t move them further. “Who are you? What is your real name?”

I shake my head and feel my cheeks get wet as the tears start to fall. He sighs then leans down to look closer at my right arm, I turn my head to try and cover the scars but he tsks his tongue and pulls an arm out to turn my head and hold it out of his way. He rests his palm against my neck and I feel my pulse start to race more.

“I once heard the general and my dad talking about how one of the marked ones had made a deal, but there’s no way that’s you. There’s no way you’re Lyra Riorson.” I can’t help the hitch in my breath at the sound of my name, my real name, and I squeeze my eyes shut.

He uses a finger to turn my head towards him then squeezes my throat until I finally open my eyes. He’s almost nose to nose with me, “That is you, isn’t it? Holy fuck. We’ve had the princess of the rebellion here this whole time. I’m going to tell everyone about this.”

I immediately know that everyone means all of the other people our age who train with us when we go to the gym. Fear clenches my heart but I can feel it slowly morphing into something new as I think about my family and how I need to protect them. If he tells people, they’re in danger because Lilith specifically told me no one was to know about me.

He suddenly moves himself off of me so that he’s off the bed and striding for the door. I scramble up after him, adrenaline kicking in, like hell will he get my family killed when he shouldn’t have even been barging in my room this morning.

I run at him, leaning forward and down as I get closer and tackle him to the ground, he lets out a surprised noise and goes to try and flip me off of him but I lift myself then drop down onto his stomach when he rolls to his back.

“Fuck.” I hear his muttered curse and know he knows that I have the upper hand at this moment. I lean back and sit so that my weight is resting over his hips and press my knees down onto his hands that I managed to trap.

“You cannot tell anyone about me, Dain.” I still feel shaky from what happened earlier but my voice is strong.

“It’s not like you can be there with me at all times, besides, they deserve to know.” I can see the gears turning in his head as he tries to think of a way out of this, but before anything else can happen my bedroom door flies open and I look up to see General Sorrengail and Colonel Aetos.

I jump but don’t let Dain up yet, not until I know he’s not going to fuck everything up.

Colonel Aetos looks ready to come to his son’s defense but Lilith raises her hand and he slowly shuts his mouth. “Lyra…explain.” She’s looking me over and notices what I’m wearing, her eyes harden as they take in my bare arms.

I quickly explain how Dain came in here shortly after I awoke and how I hadn’t had a chance to pull a robe on. The temperature in the room dips dangerously low when I tell her about his chosen tactic to get information, and further drops when I explain why I’m now pinning him to the ground.

“Dain, do you think me to be stupid?” Lilith looks directly at him as she asks that and I see him swallow.

“No, General.” his voice shakes, and I can’t find it in me to feel bad because of the shit he pulled with me.

Now that I’m in the position of power above him and I’m not terrified, I make a mental note of talking with my trainer about how to work through terror so that I don’t freeze like that again. It was unacceptable.

“Then tell me, why do you think you have the right to inform people of my decision to foster someone? Let him up, Lyra.” I push myself off of him immediately and move to grab my robe off the end of my bed. I feel myself relaxing as soon as I’m covered then stand in front of my bed to watch as General Sorrengail rips Dain a new asshole.

“…if I hear of you putting your hands on her or anyone else without their permission again, you will wish for death. Do I make myself clear?” She draws herself to her full height and waits for his answer.

“Crystal clear, General.” Dain bows his head, but I can see from his body language that he’s still tense and he won’t ever forget about this.

“Do not speak a word of her true identity to anyone until she has joined the quadrant herself in a year. Colonel, get your son out of my sight.” Lilith sweeps into the room after they leave and shuts the door behind her.

As soon as the door has snapped shut I sink onto the bed with my head in my hands, I inhale deeply and start counting my breaths. When I feel the bed dip next to me I turn to look at the general, “I froze… he pushed me against the wall and I fucking froze.”

“The body reacts to situations in a variety of ways. Work with your trainers on how to push through those feelings, don’t linger on what happened. You took control of the situation by the end of it.” Her words and gentle tone surprise me, but I nod my head. “He knew he couldn’t get you to openly admit it, so he resorted to the means he did as a way to use your body against you. Every breath you took, every muscle in your body told him everything he needed to know.”

I clench my teeth and grit out, “He knows I don’t like people touching me, but he did it anyway.”

“He did. So, make him pay for it.”

I sit on my bed for a long time after she leaves my room.

Violet bursts in the room at some point, sweaty and flushed from the gym, and I let her pull me up from the bed. She leads me into the bathroom and turns the shower on cold, she coaxes me under the stream of frigid water until I gasp and I feel my brain snap out of the fog it’s been in.

I look down at her, the tears falling down my cheeks mixing with the water from the shower head, “I think Dain was trying to spend a bit of time with us before he headed to the courtyard…but he just walked in my room. He saw…he is so mad, Vi.”

“I understand his feelings of betrayal about not knowing, but that does not give him the right to use whatever means necessary to figure out what he wants to know. He took advantage and if I didn’t think it’d get you in trouble with his dad, I’d go kill him myself.” Violet looks up at me with fire in her eyes and I give a halfhearted laugh at the idea of her killing someone.

Neither of us has the heart to do something like that and we both know it.

Chapter Text

Today is the day I’ve been waiting for my entire life, but even more so these past six years.

That thought has barely passed through my head before I fly out of bed and jump into the shower. The sun hasn’t even come up yet, but I’m too antsy to stay in bed. I make myself enjoy the shower since it’ll be the last private one I get for quite awhile.

I let the hot water hit the sore muscles on my neck and back, rolling my neck out to help loosen them more. My left hand ghosts up my right arm and I run my fingers over the silver scars that stand out against my tan skin; my chest squeezes to the point of pain that I’m gasping but I can’t help the smile that comes to my lips. I get to see Xaden today. I get to see Liam today; I get to see my family today and I cannot wait!

I’ve just finished wrapping my wet hair up into a towel when there’s a knock on my bathroom door, I barely have time to throw a towel around myself when the door swings open and my big sister Mira walks in. I’d be shocked to see her if I hadn’t known she would do her best to keep her word and try to get leave to come see me and Violet on conscription day.

“Well hello there! Please, come in, don’t mind the fact that I’m butt-ass naked in here.” I say sarcastically. Modesty has never been something that was a big concern for me in front my family, but still, she could’ve at least waited until I told her to come in.

Mira flashes me a smile and sets something black on the counter, “I’ve brought you a gift, but if you don’t want it…” she slowly reaches her hand back out as if to pull it back off the counter, but I smack her hand away and hold it up with both hands after knotting the towel around myself.

It’s upper body armor, a black halter top with green scales on the inside, “Mira, are these Teine’s scales?” She nods, and I flip it back around to run my hand over the black leather. “This is amazing, thank you, but I can’t possibly accept this. If anyone needs it, it’s Violet.”

Mira had been looking like she was preparing to roll her eyes until I said Violet’s name, now she looks like she’s going to murder someone. “What do you mean…Violet needs that? Don’t tell me the general is going through with it.” Her tone is dangerous and I wish I was in more than a flimsy towel right now in case I need to keep her from murdering her own mother.

“The general is indeed going through with it. Violet has been training with me and an instructor for about a year now.”

She scoffs, takes a seat on the closed toilet lid, and points at the armor she gave me, “Hurry up and put that on, get dressed, then take your hair down so I can help you braid it before we go speak to my mother. Don’t argue with me about the it! I had a corset top made for Violet with Teine’s scales, I hoped I wouldn’t need to actually give it to her, but it looks like we’re not that lucky.”

I give her a mock salute and pull my panties on under the towel then drop it to put the top on. The back is all one piece so I set it where it’s meant to sit around my ribs then bring the two pieces around to the front, I lace it up quickly then pull the last loose piece of fabric over the laces and button it up. One thing I’m loving about this is that the buttons are hidden in the fabric, so it’s not obvious as to where it all comes together. Lastly, I unhook the neck piece, situate it around the back of my neck, and reattach both sides. Doing this pulls everything a tad bit tighter, but I’m not mad about it because it makes me feel secure and protected. I run my hands over my sides and feel sheaths for daggers.

“I designed Violet’s corset armor like a tank top because she’s obviously going to need more protection in a wider area, but for you: you’re tall enough and skilled enough that only someone very brave or very stupid is going to try and stab you in the back. The armor is simply to give you some peace of mind so that you’re not a complete ball of anxiety all day.” Mira says as I’m turning around to look at myself in the mirror, making note of where the armor stops: right under my shoulder blades. I feel my anxiety start about that much of my back being exposed but squash it down by reminding myself that I wouldn’t have had any armor if Mira hadn’t of brought me this. She’s right too, I’ve been training for years and I know what I’m doing: I even beat Mira when she was home on break last year.

“Do you really think the general is going to listen to you about Vi? She didn’t listen when I tried to talk her out of it.” I ask my sister as I pull my socks, pants, and boots on.

“Let me see the bottoms of your boots…okay, good.” Mira peeks at the soles of my shoes then gestures to me with the hairbrush she grabbed, “And no, I don’t think she’s going to change her mind. But it’s ridiculous and she’s set Violet up to fail by only giving her a year to train.”

“I’ll be there with her, but I don’t want anyone to think she’s incapable of succeeding by being overprotective…” I let my hair out of the towel and shiver as the cold strands touch my back, “Vi is fucking stubborn and she can do anything she puts her mind to, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t concerned about the challenges with the other cadets. She realized I’d been pulling my punches when we train and yelled at me to not go easy on her. Mira, when I tell you that I was mortified to bring her to Nolon after my next punch broke her nose…I felt terrible.”

Mira winces at that but doesn’t respond. I close my eyes and enjoy the peacefulness of this moment: my older sister brushing out the very thing that brings me confidence. Mira doesn’t get it, but for Violet and I our hair is a giant part of our strength. We keep it long even though it’s against the norm for the riders quadrant, it is ours and makes us unique. Some people may think it’s a liability, but the first person who tries to use my hair against me is going to wind up in the infirmary with a broken arm. She makes quick work of doing the style she knows I love: two Dutch braids that are pulled into a low bun.

I stand after she taps my shoulders and look at myself in the mirror. I’m only wearing the armor on my upper body, I refuse to wear long sleeves, a t-shirt, or even a tank top today, I’ve hidden who I am for too long and everyone is going to know who I am.

I can’t hide the smile that spreads across my face.

I look like a rider. I feel like a rider.

It’s one thing to wear all black and say you’re going to be a rider, but after the intense training and food regimen I’ve been doing for the past six years I have gained not only muscle but curves where I want them.

I follow Mira out of the bathroom and place my toiletries in the pack that will be coming with me across the parapet. I grab my two daggers from the dresser and place them in the sheaths on my right thigh. I pull on my empty sword sheath and feel it settle in between my shoulder blades; Lilith has my actual blade because she asked to see it the other day but I’ll grab it from her in a bit.

A glance outside shows me that the sun has risen and it looks to be a little after 7 in the morning. I do a sweep of the room I’ve lived in for the past six years to ensure I have everything I want then allow Mira to link our arms together and drag me to General Sorrengail’s office.

Chapter Text

The guard stationed outside her office looks us over, stalls on my rebellion relic, sees the scars on my other arm then pushes the door open to grant us entry. I hear the door click shut behind us as we walk forward then pause before her desk. The general doesn’t glance up at us until Mira clears her throat.

Lilith’s cold eyes rise to mine then take in everything about me. She doesn’t say anything which means I passed her inspection. She rises from her seat and makes eye contact with Mira but still says nothing.

I wait with bated breath as the two lionesses stare each other down then jump slightly when Mira starts yelling at her. My jaw drops when Lilith responds calmly, if that was me I don’t think I’d be able to be that calm. My eyes move back and forth based on who’s speaking and I feel like I’m watching a high stakes ball game.

The words don’t register until I hear Mira shout, “Lyra is a marked one, and now she’s going to be responsible for General Sorrengail’s daughter! Do you really think her brother and the others are going to just let their anger and hatred of you go because you’ve been fostering her?! If so, you’re a fool.”

I flinch at the accusations and at the insinuation that I would allow any of them to hurt Violet. I watch Lilith puff up at those statements and feel the temperature drop, but interject before she can cause an ice storm in the office, “Violet is going to be fine, we have a plan worked out. Even if we didn’t though, I won’t let Xaden or anyone else hurt her. I also wouldn’t repeat to Violet that you think she can’t take care of herself, she’ll show you her new dagger skills.”

Mira looks at me and squeezes my arm where they’re still linked, “You haven’t seen him in six years, that’s a long time. He…he may not be the same as the last time you saw him.” She says carefully.

I feel myself bristle at that and pull my arm from her grasp, “I am painfully aware of how long it’s been since I’ve seen him, and if it comes down to choosing between him and Violet…I will not allow him to hurt her.” I feel a small hand touch my arm, directly over my scars, and turn to see Violet at my side, the look on her face tells me she heard everything. When did she even get in here?

Violet slides her hand down until she can thread our fingers together and looks between her older sister and her mother, “I may not have extensive training, but I will not die in there. I will use my brain and I am better off than any other conscript attempting to cross that parapet today because I have a sister who will be there with me every step of the way. I also will throw something at you if you allude to the fact that you think I’m weak again.”

Mira rolls her eyes but sighs in acceptance then I see her focus on what Vi is wearing, I look myself and cringe. I don’t get a chance to say anything before the temperature of the office returns to normal; all three of us turn and face General Sorrengail who’s standing with her hands clasped behind her back. I let go of Vi immediately and mimic her posture, Mira and Violet following suit.

“Mira, you’re dismissed.”

I turn to her and Mira pulls me into a hug, our angry words in the past already. “Don’t die, okay? I’d hate to be stuck with just Violet again.” I snort but nod my head, trying to ignore the tears that want to fall. I let her go, watch her embrace Violet, and hear her say “Don’t die, okay? I don’t want to be stuck with Lyra.”

After the door clicks shut behind Mira, my sister and I face the general. She’s watching us both and nods her head slightly, “I suppose this is goodbye then, at least for the next 3 years. When I see you after you exit that door in a few moments it’ll be as the commanding general of Basgiath, not as your mother.”

I fight the urge to turn and look at Violet after she says that because while she attempted to be motherly towards me once, I know how Vi feels towards her mother. When has she ever been anything but the commanding general? Never.

I nod to show that I understand and I see Violet mimic my movement.

“Violet, you are dismissed. Lyra, I need to speak with you a moment.” I really want to protest this, I need to get Violet into different clothes and unpack the bookcase she has shoved into that pack if the way she nearly falls over is any indication of how heavy it is.

“I’m fine! I’ll see you up there.” My smaller statured sister gasps and stumbles out, I lean to the side and catch a glimpse of Mira grabbing her pack before the door shuts and feel myself relax. Mira will get her sorted and prepare her as best she can.

I turn back to Lilith and find her sitting down, I glance at the chair next to me once before I sink down into it. I watch her expectantly and feel myself tense when she unsheathes a dagger and lays it on the desk in between us. A closer look at it tells me that it’s the same dagger she used to enact our deal when I was younger.

For the first time in a while, I find myself counting my breaths.

Lilith stays silent, watching me, and slowly moves her hand to pull out another dagger. This one comes from her desk drawer, she palms the blade before extending the hilt to me. I take it from her and marvel at how beautiful it is: the blade itself is black as night and there are small cuts of black tourmaline along the cross guards, silver diamond accents on the pommel, and a sapphire the same color as my eyes in the middle of the handle on both sides.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it? I had this made for you; it matches your sword,” I feel my brow furrow at that statement and drag my eyes away from it to find her gaze still on me, “Consider it to be my thank you for not causing me any trouble the entire time we fostered you.” She gestures towards the wall near the door and I turn to notice a sword that’s an exact replica of the dagger.

It’s fucking gorgeous. I don’t even want to use it because I think it’s so pretty.

Then my brain catches up with what else she said, “You know very well why I didn’t cause any trouble.” I find it difficult to keep the snarl out of my voice and take a deep breath.

“Ah yes, that pesky deal we made to keep your brother and the others safe. I’m glad you brought that up,” I feel my stomach clench at the smirk playing on her lips, “I’m calling in my favor. Protect Violet, do not let my daughter die. I don’t care if she falls from the parapet or if a dragon deems her unworthy or if one of the marked ones kills her….if she dies I’ll kill you all.”

I let out the breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding and look at her in disbelief, “That is the favor? How am I supposed to ensure she doesn’t fall from the parapet? I can’t walk it with her…but otherwise are you serious? You never treated me like your daughter, but Violet and Mira became my sisters. You of all people know the lengths I will go to in order to keep those I love safe.” I rub my hand against my arm unconsciously, shaking my head.

“That’s up to you to figure out. Hopefully during at least one of the training sessions you covered the parapet.” She reaches for the dagger on her desk and sheaths it back at her hip, “Your blades are capable of being imbued…keep in mind who the true enemy is.” I have to lean forward in my seat to make out the last part of her sentence and I feel my blood run cold as I realize what she’s talking about. I nod my head curtly but don’t respond verbally.

I startle when the bells chime 8 in the morning, “I need to go find Violet.” I slide my new dagger into the slot on my ribs under my heart and stand up.

Lilith rises with me, “Good luck, Cadet Riorson.” I lock eyes with her and feel my blood sing in my veins at my last name. My dad’s last name. Xaden’s last name.

I grab my pack off the floor, swing it up onto my shoulder, slide my new sword into its sheath on my back, and stride out of the office.

Chapter Text

Foolish woman, she could’ve asked me to do anything, anything and she chose for me to protect Violet? Stupid.

If I’m being honest with myself I’m also insulted that she really thought I’d allow Violet to get killed. One thing that the conversation did remind me of though is that I need to find a way to talk to Xaden privately as soon as I can to ensure he doesn’t kill my sister. The brother I remember wouldn’t kill someone without reason, but if he’s still pissed at General Sorrengail for what she did to me…he may take it out on Violet. I don’t know how long the events for the first day last so the chance probably won’t arise until tomorrow.

I need to find Violet fast. We’d planned on keeping our distance from each other today to avoid becoming a spectacle until absolutely necessary, but I’m feeling anxious now and need to put my eyes on her to appease my anxiety.

I’ve lived in Basgiath for the last six years and I’ve been so lost in my thoughts that I don’t realize my feet have walked me to the corridor exactly where I need to be to get to the courtyard until I’ve passed right by it. Shaking my head, I backtrack and take a few moments for myself in front of the exit door.

I can’t believe I’m finally here, I’m mere months away from bonding a dragon and I’m only a few hours away from seeing Xaden and my family again.

I step out into the courtyard and there’s people everywhere.

I see professors, Basgiath leadership, including General Sorrengail, in the midst of everything watching the chaos. Lilith and I lock eyes for a moment before we look away from each other, and I continue to make my way to the line that’s formed in front of the southern turret that leads to the parapet.

I’ve just claimed my spot in line when I feel someone walk up next to me: Mira nods at me and smiles, my return smile is wide enough that my cheeks hurt. We enjoy each other’s company for a few minutes while the line inches forward before I finally remember what she was doing earlier and why she was out here waiting for me, “Where’s Violet? Did you give her the armor? Did you get her out of the damn scribe clothes? I told her not to wear them but she doesn’t listen.”

“Violet is probably close to the top of the staircase by now, yes I gave her the armor and braided her hair into a crown on her head, she’s now in riding leathers and boots like you, and of course she doesn’t listen. I don’t listen and neither do you, it’s a Sorrengail sister thing.”

I laugh out loud at that but stop short when a clap of thunder sounds and I feel raindrops on my head, “Oh you’re fucking kidding me.” I turn my gaze up and glare at the sky then whip it forward when I hear a scream and a distant thud. My hand finds Mira’s and I clutch her tightly. We remain silent as the line steadily moves forward and I try to ignore intermittent screams and thuds as more and more people try to fight the parapet and lose. I send a prayer to the gods that Violet is not one of those thuds.

When there’s about six people left ahead of me Mira pulls me into a hug, “I’m going to leave you here. As you know, it wasn’t common knowledge that we fostered you, and I don’t want news of that getting out before you have a chance to find Violet.”

“How would it spread? There’s only first years down here,” I look towards the table when she pulls back to shake her head and points at a rider sitting next to the scribe with the name sheet.

“He knows who I am and he would be able to tell every second and third year rider up there through his mind, his dragon would hear him and spread the news if he chose to not keep quiet.”

“I understand, you’re right, I want to be with her when they all find out just in case.” I squeeze her tighter then let go, “I love you, Mira.”

“I love you, Lyra. Remember, don’t die.” She winks at me then walks off.

There’s only one rider left in front of me now and I can barely keep from vibrating there is so much nervous energy and excited energy flowing through me that I don’t know how to handle it.

Finally, it’s my turn to step up to the table. Now that I’m closer to him and paying attention, I realize with a start that the rider is a fellow marked one. I trail my eyes down his arm and feel my own relic tingling as if my body realizes I’m finally around people who understand what it’s like. He was there that day and understood the terror of watching your parents be burned alive.

“Next,” The rider says while looking down then looks up at my face. I watch him recognize something about my face then immediately look down at my rebellion relic and the silver scars. His eyes widen and his jaw drops, “Oh shit.” His gaze finds its way back to my face and there’s so many emotions swirling around in his eyes that I can’t pinpoint any specific one.

I give him a small smile and dip my head slightly in way of greeting and he returns my nod.

The scribe sitting next to him, Captain Fitzgibbons, looks at me and just pushes the paper towards me. He knows exactly who I am, he’s one of the first people I met here when I arrived six years ago.

I look away from the marked rider, print my name, then side step the table to head towards the doorway at the bottom of the turret. Before I can walk away entirely, the rider reaches out and grabs my hand, I turn to look at him expectantly and nearly start crying when he whispers, “Welcome home, Lyra.” He must see the emotions on my face because he squeezes my hand and doesn’t let go until I straighten up and pull my hand away.

With my head held high I walk forward and step through the doorway to start the trek up 250 stairs; the rest of my life starts now.

Chapter Text

I let my mind wander to Violet as I keep 3 steps behind the candidate in front of me, did she find the stairs to be a struggle? Did she make it across the parapet? Did she say fuck this and fuck you to her mom by going to the scribe quadrant anyways?

I snort as I imagine the hissy fit the general would throw because of that and earn a look from the behemoth of a candidate in front of me. I recognize him immediately as one of the people Dain and I used to work out with…his name is Aidan and he was one of the most vocal about hating us because his parents died in the rebellion. His look morphs into shock then into a murderous glare when he recognizes me and sees my rebellion relic.

Should I be kind or match his energy? I debate flipping him off, but instead give him a wave with my left hand and smile at him. He turns back around without responding and I exhale softly.

I’m not sure if I’m ready to be constantly on edge for my safety, it sounds exhausting. I shake my head and steady myself, I need to keep it together for not only myself but for Violet.

Shadows moving along the wall next to me catch my attention and I watch in fascination as they circle the floor around me then feel a prickling sensation as they wind their way up my legs. They move with me as I continue climbing, and when we seem to be nearing the top I feel that prickling on my shoulders and look to see that the shadows are curling down to sit on my scars. I reach my hand out to touch them and they happily curl their way around my fingers, I smile then wonder if I’ve completely lost my mind. I don’t know how to explain it except that the shadows feel gentle and I feel safe with them.

The line stops moving when I can see the outline of the doorway for the parapet by standing on my tiptoes. I’m so close!

When Aidan the asshole turns around to glare down at me with a strange look on his face I drop down off my toes and widen my stance. I don’t know what he’s thinking, but there’s no chance I’m dying before crossing that damn parapet. We’ve sparred before and he’s never beaten me, but I don’t know how his emotions affect his fighting skills.

I move my right hand to rest against the hilt of my new dagger and I watch asshat clock the movement. The shadows that had been curling around my fingers seem to sense my apprehension because the prickling sensation I’d grown used to shifts to where I feel like they’re vibrating.

A distant part of my brain registers that the people who’d been climbing behind me have paused and are now backing up a few steps, but I don’t turn to look.

I take a step up then another then another until we’re standing on the same stair; he’s fucking tall, so I have to tilt my head up to look at him.

I cock my head to the side when his icy blue eyes narrow, and I’m trying to determine if he’s going to actually do something or if we’re just going to continue staring at each other when his hand flies out towards my neck.

Quick as a flash, I unsheathe my dagger and twist to the side, one foot landing on the step below me; his swing passes close enough that I feel the rush of air along my right cheek as his left hand crashes into the stone behind me.

He cusses but recovers faster than I expected and goes to grab my right arm.

I switch my dagger to my left hand and bring it up to rest it against his side under his ribs just as he connects with my right arm and tries to twist it to immobilize me. I let out a growl and push my dagger up hard enough for him to feel it but not enough to stab him…yet.

“Get the fuck off of me.” I snarl and wait for him to let go, when I feel his hand tighten further I push up enough to feel my dagger slide in at least an inch, twisting it slightly when he still doesn’t let go. “I don’t want to kill you, get off.”

He seems to need some other form of encouragement, so I tense my lower body and collect as much momentum as I can from a stationary position and bring my right knee up to smash into his groin.

He cries out, letting go of my arm immediately, and I withdraw my dagger before he can fall on it. He lands hard on his knees and looks up at me with hatred etched all over his face, “Your kind doesn’t deserve to be here, traitor.”

I scoff slightly and feel my lip curl in disgust but refuse to acknowledge his prejudice against me, “Make sure you can actually beat your opponent before starting something.”

I turn away and jog up the stairs to catch up with the line, the shadows skittering along my skin and swirling almost angrily around the handprint shaped bruise that’s forming on my forearm.

A glance over my shoulder shows me that the rest of the line is moving around Aidan who’s slowly getting up with a hand pressed against his side. I slide the dagger back into the slot on my ribs and make a mental note to clean it later.

Looking forward again, I take a deep breath and fight down the emotions that are threatening to choke me. I shouldn’t be surprised that he wanted to kill me before I got the chance to cross the parapet, but it still stings. Aidan has known me for six years, but none of that mattered when he saw the truth.

That thought immediately makes me groan internally and swallow the nausea at the realization that I’ll be seeing him in less than an hour.

Fucking Dain Aetos.

I make the promise to myself at that moment that if he approaches me I need to be unbothered. He doesn’t get to ruin today for me.

I blow out a breath and realize with a jolt that I’m standing on top of the turret.

Holy fuck, I’m actually here.

The entire platform is open to the sky, the wall around the circular edge reaches my hips and has bricks missing.

The opening in the wall has three riders around it, but I barely notice the roll taker and the one who’s keeping track of those walking the parapet because all of my attention is on him.

Xaden.

My big brother motions for the next rider to approach and when he turns his head I can see a scar on his eyebrow. He’s bulked up and gotten taller since I last saw him, but it’s him. As if sensing my gaze he looks towards me then freezes; I can’t help the smile that spreads across my face or the tears that immediately threaten to come coursing down my cheeks.

I feel a shadow caress my cheek and watch Xade’s eyes soften when I lean into the shadow. It makes sense now to know that it’s been him keeping me company the entire time I’ve been making my way up to the parapet.

The closer I get to him the more the tears build and my throat aches from holding them in, I cannot break right now, I need to focus on the 18-inch wide death trap that’s become a water slide at 200 feet in the air. I want to say so much to him but keep my mouth shut, if I start talking to him now I’m going to lose it.

Xaden seems to sense this so he just motions for me to come forward.

I can’t help it.

I reach out and grasp his hand in mine and take a shuddering breath in then slowly exhale, feeling myself relax from simply getting to be near him again. My big brother rubs his thumb on my knuckles a few times before I pull my hand away and I feel him recall all of his shadows.

I feel empty without their presence, but I don’t look back as I approach the roll taker.

“Name?” He asks without looking up.

“Lyra Riorson.” The roll taking rider nearly fumbles his clipboard and snaps his head up. The other rider completely ignores the candidate climbing onto the parapet and they both look back and forth between Xaden and I. The murmuring I hear from the other candidates indicates that they heard me and now everyone is aware that both children of the Great Betrayer have arrived at Basgiath.

I walk towards the parapet with my head high and wait for the rider to give me the all clear; after he does I climb up and focus on my breathing and putting one foot in front of the other.

Chapter Text

Left foot
“I’m glad it’s you, Ly, I wouldn’t want to go into this hell with anyone else.”

Right foot
“I don’t want to have to stay away from you once we get across the parapet, but I think it’s best to keep our distance until we see how people feel about me. My mother and sister have made quite a few enemies.”

Breathe in. Breathe out.
“Don’t argue, I know you don’t care, but I don’t want people hating you simply because you’re seen with me.”

Bits and pieces of my conversation with Vi from last night filter through my head as I make my way across the parapet. I don’t allow myself to look down even as I slip on the wet stone: I grit my teeth through quite a few choice cuss words, resume my deep breathing, and trudge on.

When my brain tires of replaying the conversation from last night it moves to my family: do they miss me as much as I miss them? Do they have nightmares? Have they healed from the trauma of watching our parents die or are they still hurting?

Will they blame me for the lie I’ve had to live the past six years?

I wish I had been able to think of a way to bargain to be able to see them at least once a year. I should’ve made more of an effort to see them. I should’ve fought harder to find out where they were staying.

Until just moments ago, I didn’t even know that Xaden was alive. What if Bodhi or Garrick died because I made a deal and forced them to join the deadliest quadrant? And Liam…is my best friend, my rock, my soul twin…is he alive? Is he okay? What has he been going through and have they hurt him?

Fuck. This is not the time for spiraling thoughts. But I can’t stop. How do I stop?

Will the marked ones hate me for forcing them to sign up for this quadrant? Will they think me a traitor for taking up the Sorrengail name and pretending to be someone I’m not? Will they understand that I did what I had to in order to survive and keep my family alive?

Oh. There it is. The question that just reminded me of why I endured all of this shit.

I made the deal to prevent General Melgren from killing my big brother and my family. The bastard needed a weakness of Xaden’s to keep him in line and General Sorrengail had me in the room separated from him. She essentially handed me over to Melgren on a silver platter to keep the rebel kids in line.

I did it for Xaden.
I did it for my family.
I did it because I couldn’t lose another member of my family.

I would do it again and will do it again to protect Violet.

I pride myself on loving my family by holding them in higher regard than myself, and Vi falls under that category. Is there anything I’m not willing to do for that little firecracker of a woman? Fuck no. I would set Basgiath on fire, watch it burn, and dance on the ashes if it meant that Violet would be okay. I know she wants me to keep my distance, but I refuse. I won’t go talk to her, but I will not just twiddle my thumbs in the courtyard not knowing if she made it across the parapet.

Speaking of which I’m almost to the other side. Thank the Gods for that. I suppose my nonstop mind was helpful in this instance for keeping me distracted.

The subject of Violet and the marked ones doesn’t stress me out as much as I was expecting. I know that many of them will be harboring a grudge, but no one can touch her in the courtyard while we’re waiting to be called to formation for the announcements. I still want to put my eyes on her, but I will be able to relax as soon as I see her.

The only twinge of uneasiness I feel comes from not knowing if we’ll be put in the same squad. We can be as close as we want if we’re in the same squad, but it would be bad if she was placed in another squad and I protected her. It wouldn’t stop me, hell no, but it would paint a bigger target on both of our backs. Protecting her would cause people to start to assume that she can’t handle herself when that’s not the case at all. Violet is stubborn and cutthroat enough to do whatever she needs to in order to survive. I need to ensure that she stays alive long enough to learn how to be lethal then I can relax…or relax as much as possible.

I’m drawn from my thoughts by a crack of thunder and refocus on the parapet just as I’m reaching the end. I shake my head in disbelief when I realize that I completed that entirely through muscle memory.

Chapter Text

I made it!

I jump down onto solid ground and immediately feel a shadow curl its way down my arm until it resembles a shadowy bracelet around my right wrist. I smile softly as I approach the roll taker, she looks badass with spikes on her jacket.

“Name?” She asks in a bored tone.

“Lyra Riorson.” She doesn’t seem surprised and simply looks up to run her eyes over my face then looks back at the roll sheet. I can’t deny that it feels good to be acknowledged in such a calm manner whereas everyone else has acted shocked.

There’s conversations occurring quietly throughout the courtyard and as I make my way through the crowd I notice a few people, regardless of the year, to be tracking my movements.

I keep my head held high as I move through the throngs of people, I must’ve been one of the last to cross because the courtyard is quite full.

I start to panic cause I can’t find Vi, but then I take a moment and try to imagine what Violet would do as soon as she got off the parapet. It’s with this in mind that I immediately move to the walls surrounding the courtyard. She would not want to be in the middle, she would definitely have found a spot near the wall and stayed there so that her back was protected. After I’ve been skirting around the edge for about five minutes I finally locate her: she is indeed standing with her back against the wall with another first-year rider who has her dark hair done in chin length braids.

I claim a spot a decent distance away from Vi, close enough to be there if she needs it but not so close as to be seen as hovering over her. I lean against the wall, careful of the sword sheathed on my back, and bend my knee to prop my foot up behind me. I turn my gaze to the courtyard in front of me and catch snippets of conversation as people move around me.

I snap my head around and feel my attention sharpen when I just barely hear someone say, “…yeah I heard a rumor that General Sorrengail’s youngest is joining this year.”

My eyes scan the groupings near me and land on a group of nine marked ones, all upperclassmen, standing a little ways away and lock eyes on the rider still talking.

“I hope it’s true because I’ve been waiting for an opportunity to pay her back for years.” She brushes a strand of pink hair off her eyes and looks pleased when her companions agree with her about wanting revenge themselves.

I shift closer to the conversation to continue listening after checking over my shoulder that Violet is still visiting with the first-year. The rider is still talking and I look at her as I move even closer to take stock of anything important. She’s a second year based on the two stars on her uniform, and has daggers sheathed all over her person. She carries herself with confidence and seems to like having the attention on her.

I straighten to my full height when the group notices me watching them and I see that I’m taller than quite a few of them. My arm tingles as my shadow unravels from around my wrist then swirls up to cover my scars, I glance down quickly and see that they’re essentially camouflaged by the shadow. A few of the upperclassmen follow my gaze to the shadow and their eyes widen in recognition as the ringleader continues talking.

“Can we help you, first year?” The pink-haired girl drawls, looking me up and down.

“No, thank you for the offer though,” I say with a saccharine smile, “I don’t need help from people who are stupid enough to want to exact their revenge on an innocent.”

The upperclassmen marked ones have an array of emotions on each face: anger, indignation, shock…the ones who recognized me and noticed the shadow look nervous.

The pink-haired girl scoffs then says, “And who are you again? Just some fresh meat for the dragons. Keep your mouth shut and head down, you haven’t earned the right to an opinion yet.” She glances around at her friends, “Xaden really screwed us all when he said that every marked one needs to join the quadrant. Clearly some of us aren’t ready to do what needs to be done.”

I chuckle darkly at the mention of my big brother and I feel my shadow friend tremble against my skin. “You don’t remember me? Shame. Some of your friends sure as hell seem to realize who I am.” Without another word or waiting to see her reaction, I turn and make my way back to the wall.

Once I’m settled in my spot again I take a moment to think about what just happened. The pink-haired girl is definitely the first person on my list of people to keep away from Vi, and her comment confirms that the general has not made us any friends here. Vi is a target automatically because of her last name, but some people may dislike me simply because I was fostered by the Sorrengail’s.

After another thirty minutes of nothing happening, besides Violet finally noticing me near her and smiling at me, I feel myself perk up as Commandant Panchek takes his place on the center of the dais ahead of us. I watch as the wingleaders file up after him and nearly gasp aloud when I see Xaden up there.

I’m barely listening to the words the commandant is speaking because I’m too busy watching how people react to my big brother. When he moves, it’s like him and the other wingleaders are the same ends of a magnet…none of them get super close to him and move when he moves. One glance around the crowd and I can see most of them are eyeing Xaden with apprehension, Violet included.

I can definitely see why people would be intimidated by him: he’s at least 6’4”, muscular as fuck, and is currently wearing a “fuck with me and I’ll fucking kill you” look.

When I look at him though all I can see is the brother I’ve missed for too long. I see the brother who cried with me after our dad died, I see the harshness in his features that was there during the rebellion but has only gotten worse. He looks exhausted. He looks like he has the weight of the world on his shoulders, and I’m so relieved I’m here now to help him shoulder that burden.

Neither of us got to mourn properly for our dad, and I want to know how that affected him. Did it make him mean? Does he hate the Sorrengail’s because of what the matriarch did to me? Will he forgive me for leaving him behind?

Thinking about all of this affects me more than I realize and I have to choke down the tears before I can make a sound in the quiet courtyard. I move my arms to hug myself, digging my fingernails into my skin until the pain grounds me, and feel the shadows shift to lay around my neck and shoulders like an overprotective scarf.

I look at Xaden and see his eyes already on me; he’s watching me closely and when I move my hand to gently touch the shadow around my neck I manage to smile at him. I see some of the tension leave his shoulders as soon as I do this.

I start paying attention to Panchek right as he’s finishing a threat to warn us to not misbehave. I watch Nyra, the senior wingleader, step forward and call for the section leaders and squad leaders to come forward. From where I’m at on the wall, I have a pretty decent vantage point to see the upperclassmen’s faces as they take their spot in their particular wing. I feel my heart nearly burst with excitement when I see Garrick take up a section leader position in fourth wing, Xaden’s wing. Like my big brother, his best friend has bulked up enough to the point that he’s even bigger than Xaden, but I’d recognize his face anywhere.

The excitement I feel crashes and burns when I start looking at squad leaders and see Dain standing like a fucking peacock in second wing. The smug look on his face makes me nauseous and I cover my hand with my mouth as I turn away. My gaze snags on Xaden as I look away, he’s still watching me, but this time his eyebrows are furrowed and he flicks his eyes from me, to Dain, back to me, then raises his eyebrows ever so slightly.

Fuuuuuck. I forgot that he is so gods damn observant.

I shake my head and readjust myself on the wall, I feel like I have ants crawling around all over me and I don’t like it. I wish it was easier for me to handle my anxiety, but unfamiliar environments make it worse.

Xaden cocks his head ever so slightly to the side while I’m fidgeting and separates my shadow from one into three. One stays around my neck and shoulders, one shoots to my right hand and wraps itself around each of my fingers, and the last one winds its way up my neck to flow around and through my earrings. The touch is so featherlight that it tickles and I know he’s doing this to try and distract me from whatever bad thoughts I was having.

The hint of a smile touches my lips, but then I’m jolted from my peace when I hear Violet’s name get called.

Gods fucking dammit Dain.

He put Vi in his squad.

As she makes her way over to them, I look to the squad standing behind Dain: the girl with the braids Violet had been speaking to is there as well as the pink-haired second-year that wants my sister dead. I think instantly of Lilith calling in her favor and grit my teeth.

This is going to be impossible. Squadmates can’t kill each other, but the pink-haired girl doesn’t strike me as someone who is going to follow the rules.

There’s room for one more first-year in Dain’s squad after someone named Tynan joins and I feel my stomach clench. I felt conflicted. I want to be in the same squad as her to protect her if needed, but the thought of answering to Dain all year makes me want to claw my eyes out.

My eyes find Dain again just as Nyra is calling out my name and all I can do is focus on the sensation of the shadows to keep from having a conniption.

He’s fucking smirking at me.

Chapter Text

Okay. I can fucking do this. He wants me in his squad? Fine.

I exhale quietly as my name finishes echoing across the courtyard, and maintain eye contact with Dain when I push off the wall.

First-years move out of my path as I walk to my new squad and I can see the realization hitting the first-years I used to train with. Whispers are following me across the courtyard and all I can do is keep my head high.

“Riorson has a sister?”

“Wait I thought she was a distant Sorrengail relative…that explains why they look nothing alike.”

“Do you all think she even knows whose side she’s on anymore? How can we trust someone who chose to stay with the woman who killed our family’s?”

“How is it that the weakest rider candidate comes with her very own body guard? Looks like we’ll need to take her out in order to get rid of the weak link.”

I break eye contact with Dain when I hear that last whisper and search for her: she’s already looking at me. The glint in her eye matches mine and I know she’s heard everything that’s been said.

Being underestimated for her size was expected, but we forgot to factor in that our peers from training would recognize me instantly. Their ire for me hiding my identity from them is apparently strong enough that they would rather kill Violet and I than benefit from our strength and bond.

I bring my focus back to the present when I take my place in formation: I’m a row behind and to the left of Violet with the pink-haired rider directly behind me.

I stand at attention with my feet shoulder-width apart, hands clasped behind my back, chest out, and head up.

My eyes find a decent sized crack in the wall behind the dais leadership is standing on and don’t waver even when I feel Xaden burning a hole into the side of my face. There’s too much going on in my head right now that adding whatever he’s feeling to the mix will cause me to have a conniption. Whatever explanation he’s wanting will have to wait until later anyways.

With the names of fourth wing droning on in the background, my brain does what it does best with my anxiety and says: fuck you, here is everything that has gone wrong in the past five minutes.

Dain choosing me for his squad is going to be my personal hell all year. He can’t hurt or kill me since I’m under his command, but he’ll know everything about me. Where I sleep in the bunk room until threshing, which room I’m assigned after threshing and how to get into it if he wanted to.

I am in an even more precarious position than I was anticipating because it’s been made clear that getting me out of the way to get to Vi is high on quite a few people’s to-do lists. Violet staying alive is vital to my family’s survival…and they all think she is horrible simply because of her mother. Oh, and don’t forget that some people apparently blame me for staying with them when these same people don’t understand why I had to.

My hands start to tremble as my mind gets louder, but I’m suddenly able to get out of my own head when I feel the shadows on me move. The one that had been winding through my fingers pools onto both of my palms. I close my fists around them and revel in the peculiar sensation of holding something I can only describe as a mini hurricane. It’s solid enough that I can feel it when I squeeze my fingers but I can still feel it as if it’s moving with the wind.

I listen as the last few candidates are sorted and feel my heart skip a beat when I hear Liam being assigned to fourth wing. My best friend is here and I get to see him. Liam has always been there for me and I know I don’t need to worry about him being judgmental towards Vi or myself; he’ll listen to us and I know he’ll understand.

I feel some jealousy that Liam gets to be in Xaden’s wing, but it doesn’t last long. As soon as the last cadet is called out, I watch as my brother turns to say something to the other guy wingleader. The girl wingleader that isn’t Nyra scoffs at my big brother and shakes her head; Xade doesn’t even spare her a glance. Finally, the other guy nods in agreement and my eyebrows furrow in confusion when Nyra announces that our squad will be swapping with Aura Beinhaven’s squad.

Dain tells us to follow him as we move from second wing to…fourth wing! The initial surge of excitement I feel dwindles when I realize that this is giving my peers even more of a reason to target us.

Violet flashes me a look that I can’t decipher while we’re walking to our new section.

Tail sections executive officer catches my eye as we get to our new spot in formation and I can’t stop the smile from forming. Bodhi’s already smiling at me and it only grows when he notices the shadows around my shoulders and ear.

I take a few moments after my squad settles into our new area to take some deep breaths and ground myself.

Violet and I have meditated together for years, and it’s second nature to pull up the mental image of the Riorson House library in my mind.

Picturing my favorite room at home was easier than breathing the first time I did this: an enormous three-story room with a vaulted ceiling, balconies overlooked the main level with two walkways spanning across the middle of the room on the second and third level. Ladders were placed sporadically along the bookcases to assist with reaching the higher shelves. Stained glass windows along the walls depicted dragons of all kinds (father had these installed specially for me when he found out about my adoration for the beasts).

The first floor had an assortment of tables and chairs and was where we housed our fiction books, the second floor held our nonfiction collection and had offices for the scribes that were employed with my father. The third floor, my favorite, had comfy chairs, couches, and a window bed. I can’t even begin to count the amount of times Liam and I were found there completely immersed in some fantasy world to avoid tutoring and training.

With each breath I’m putting my stress and uncertainty into my library; any of the new stress to do with Dain is dropped into a desk drawer in my mind. After it’s slammed shut and locked I feel lighter.

The stress of people knowing who I am and their reactions are placed in books and set on the highest shelves.

I unclench my hands and feel the shadows resume their flowing around my fingers.

When I see him walking to the front of the dais I finally allow myself to make eye contact with my big brother. He’s wearing a hard mask over his features, but I still give him a small smile. The shadows on me vibrate slightly then resume their flowing.

Xaden steps forward to the front of the dais and I feel a thrill of excitement shoot up my spine; if there’s one thing my big brother has always excelled at it’s been to captivate a crowd. Even something as simple as a ball game at home when we were kids…if he needed to give a speech to motivate everyone to play well he damn sure would do it.

Xaden is essentially leading a chant with the first-years: he says something, the first-years respond, he says something else a little louder, and the first-years react the same. I start to feel butterflies in my stomach…he’s leading up to something, but what is it?

I get my answer after the noise around me reaches a fever pitch then suddenly drops to a dead silence: the dragons have arrived.

They. Are. Magnificent.

Every shred of stress in my body evaporates as soon as I look at them. I could cry at how beautiful they are.

My gaze sweeps across them and stops on a huge navy blue dragon perched behind Xaden. I’m almost positive she’s the one that nearly caused me to fall off the turret roof two years ago.

She’s currently looking at Violet and lets out a hiss of steam at Violet, but my sister doesn’t flinch. Good.

The piercing gaze swivels to me and I know that the smile on my face is doing nothing to promote me as calm and collected. She surveys me and lets out another hiss of steam but her eyes are gentle when I make eye contact with her. The shadow on my hand weaves its way through my fingers with renewed energy and I get a sense of excitement from it.

All the warmth leaves the blue dragon as she snaps her jaws and rises to her full height when a first-year shrieks from somewhere to my left. I hear the sound of running feet followed by two more sets. I feel my stomach drop when three of the dragons on the ledge lean forward and roast three people instantly. I nearly flinch at the thought of those candidates losing their lives but then remind myself that they were foolish enough to actually climb the stairs to the parapet, survive the crossing, then make a run for it when we finally get to see the creatures that this is all about.

Xaden finishes his speech, literally scaring the piss out of the cadet in front of Violet, then releases us to our squad leaders who will take us on a tour of the quadrant before dinner. He doesn’t look at me as he leaves the dais with his peers, but his shadows stay where they are.

The dragons take off one by one and the giddy excitement at finally being here begins to hit me again. I watch the blue dragon until she disappears, and take a deep breath.

The hardest part of the day is about to begin, and that’s saying something considering I crossed the parapet less than two hours ago. I’d rather cross the parapet again blindfolded than listen to Dain give a tour I could give in my sleep.

Dain releases us from standing at attention and I roll my neck and shoulders. The brush of fabric against my arm has me looking down to see Violet standing next to me with her arms crossed.

Introductions amongst second squad happen swiftly and I learn that the pink-haired rider is named Imogen. Her and I are the only marked ones in our squad, but until we get on the same page about Violet I don’t see us coexisting happily. The upperclassmen leave us when the tour starts.

The tour passes slowly while dinner flies by. Dain collects the first years after we’ve all eaten and shows us to the bunk room on the first floor. I exhale a sigh of relief that we’re not on the third floor bunk room when I see Aidan and his squad head that way.

I pass my squad leader with my head held high and do my best to ignore the shiver that wants to creep up my spine with being this close to him. He looks like he wants to say something, but I’m in the room and already searching for a bunk before he can.

“Lyra!” Vi’s voice catches my attention and I smile at her while making my way over to her and Rhiannon, the girl with braids that Vi was visiting with in the courtyard. Violet chose two bunks in the corner against the wall across from the door, and I notice that the rest of second squad have claimed beds nearby. I place my pack on the top bunk next to Vi and Rhi’s bed and lay my weapons on the bedside table.

I’m about to ask her how the parapet was for her when I notice her tense up. I turn expecting an unfriendly face, but instead see the face of my other half.

“Liam!” I throw myself forward and bury my face in the crook of his neck. The tears I’ve been holding back all day nearly choke me but I swallow them down.

He chuckles and pulls me tight against his broad chest, “Hi Lyra.” His hand rubs a slow circle on my upper back while I take a few deep breaths.

“Hi yourself, are you in this room too?” I step back out of his grasp and motion at Violet to come closer.

“I am in this room…wanna be bunk mates?”

“Absolutely I do,” I say with a giant smile, “Liam, this is Violet…my sister.”

Liam’s eye widen the tiniest amount as he registers my words and recognizes who she is, but proves that he’s still the same Liam when he smiles at her and extends his hand in greeting.

Violet looks pleasantly surprised and smiles back at him while shaking his hand.

Rhiannon steps forward after a moment to introduce herself, then the four of us sit on the two lower bunks to talk about the parapet. I throw my pillow at Vi’s head when Rhiannon tells me that they swapped a boot with each other before crossing, she doesn’t duck in time and I cackle when it smacks her squarely in the face. I cringe when I hear that Violet’s last name pulled Xaden’s attention but find it hard to breathe when she tells us about another first-year named Jack. He’s evidently made it his mission to ensure that Violet doesn’t make it past threshing.

Just as I’m about to ask her what he looks like, Liam startles and nearly knocks me off the bed with his flailing.

“What?! What is it?” I look him up and down for whatever caused him to freak out and see him point to a small shadow that’s flowing around in one spot next to him on the bed. “Oh, it’s another shadow. Xaden’s signet is shadows, he’s saying hi to you Liam.”

Liam shakes his head and looks at me with guilt, “No, I know what his signet is. I forgot that he asked me to bring you to his room after dinner. I got distracted, and I wasn’t expecting a shadow to try to touch me.” He laughs a little and shakes himself as he stands, “You ready to hug your brother again?”

The emotion wells up in my throat and it feels so tight that all I can do is nod.

Violet gives me a quick hug and murmurs that we’ll talk more later.

Chapter Text

The next thing I know, I’m feeling lightheaded from excitement and anticipation.

Liam pulls me to a stop in front of a door at the end of the upperclassmen hallway. He doesn’t have a chance to knock before the door swings open and Xaden is smiling down at me.

“Xade!” I jump into my brother’s outstretched arms and he pulls me close. The tears I’ve been holding back all day start without my permission and it’s like a floodgate opens.

Xaden just picks me up like I’m fourteen again and sits with me on his bed. The feeling of safety and security I’ve been missing covers me again as my big brother rocks me gently, and I can’t find it in me to feel ashamed that I’m behaving this way. Even without talking about it, I know that Xaden won’t judge me for this nor will he hold my emotions against me.

I cling to him and he holds me against him until I can finally calm down enough to form a coherent sentence. “Hi big brother,” I wait for Liam to say hi, but realize that he isn’t even in the room with us.

Xaden seems to know what I’m looking for and answers me. “I asked him, Bodhi, and Garrick to give us some time before coming back in here. I want to hear about everything, from the deal you made with her to her daughter showing up here at the same time as you.” Xaden levels a look at me as he finishes speaking and if he wasn’t my brother I would’ve started a fight, but I meet his gaze with confidence.

I move to be able to lean back against his headboard and he sits across from me on the bed, our crisscrossed knees just barely touching.

“My foster family was the Sorrengail’s, Xaden. Lilith came into my room after I woke up there and told me I wasn’t allowed to tell anyone who I really was. I’ve been living a lie the past six years.” I exhale loudly before continuing, “Mira, of course, didn’t like me at first. I had to earn her respect, but Vi pushed me on that first night to make it known that I wasn’t going to just be silent on the sidelines. I know you don’t like Lilith, big brother, but I wouldn’t be here without Violet. She didn’t even want to join the riders quadrant, she’s supposed to be a scribe, but her mom gave us an order.”

“And the order was to sentence her youngest child to death?” Xaden looks unsurprised that the general would do this, and I don’t blame him.

“Vi has been training for the past year, she’s not weak. Her health makes this all a hell of a lot more difficult, but she can do this…” I hesitate and think about Lilith calling in the favor but I don’t know if I want Xaden to be burdened with this knowledge.

His gaze gets more intense as I think about it and he asks, “What happens if she can’t, Lyra? People who’ve trained their whole life for this quadrant, die. People die every single day here.”

I let out a humorless laugh and look everywhere but in my brothers eyes, “I really fucking need her to not die. That would suck. If she dies, I die.”

There’s a beat of silence before I hear, “Come again?”

“I need her to stay alive because she is my sister and I care about her…but also because if she dies Lilith will kill me…and then all of the marked ones.” I finally look at him and immediately feel the need to defend Violet, “Xaden, calm down. Violet doesn’t know. She doesn’t know her mom called in the favor; it’s not her fault.”

“I need to tell the other marked ones not to target her, little sister. They want her dead.” He has a glint in his eye that makes me feel like he’s already planning how to spread the word and I feel my hackles rise.

“No. I don’t want them to tolerate her only because of that deal. They’ll learn to respect her based on her skills, they’ll see how strong she is.” I stop to take a breath then continue, “Maybe also remind them that she’s not in control of her mother or Navarre’s leadership actions. Could we have stopped dad? You tried to get him to stop. Did it work? Did he listen? No. Violet had as much of a say in our parents dying as we did in trying to stop them.”

Xaden is quiet, his features empty of any emotion while he listens, but I can sense that he’s angry. Angry about the situation we’re in because of adults who should’ve known better, angry that I had to live with the enemy, angry that he couldn’t save me. “None of that changes the facts. I have to say something about her being off limits or it’ll be a free for all of who can get to her first. Don’t forget, either, about the cadet that tried to throw her off the parapet simply for being small.”

My teeth clench at the reminder of Jack but I continue, “I don’t even want to suggest this because it undermines the fact that Violet can handle her shit, but if you have to resort to threats…do it. Tell them if any of them want a go at killing her they have to beat me in a challenge. They’re not going to beat me, so they won’t ever touch her. I’m also not saying that they can’t challenge her or fight her, just don’t fucking kill her. If she dies…that’s it.” 

“I don’t think it’s going to be that easy to keep from snapping her neck in a fight…they’ve had a long time to plan revenge.” Xaden speaks bluntly and with direct eye contact, like he understands their feelings completely.

My patience cracks at that and find myself yelling, “Did they have to live with the general? Did they have to go to the fucking anniversary parties each year and pretend to be happy that the rebel leaders were dead? Did they have to be paraded around in front of the fucking king and be made to simper in a pretty gown and dote on the insufferable princes? No? Then tell them to keep the hell away from Vi, I’m going to demolish anyone who touches her.” I’m breathing heavy by the time I finish my rant.

Xaden is watching me carefully for a good minute in silence then finally nods his head. “Alright…no one touches Violet. But maybe I should call her Violence if she pushes you to be so aggressive.” He laughs at that and I feel my irritation dissipate immediately at his laughter.

I smile at him, “Oh please, big brother, call her Violence once. I dare you. She’ll rip you apart.” His eyes alight in challenge after I finish speaking and I smack his shoulder.

“So Mira is the older sister?”

I nod, “Yeah. She made me this armor actually, Teine’s scales are on the inside of it. It helped this conscription day start off so much better than last years.” I mean to say it as a joke, but my voice catches.

As soon as the words are out I want to bring them back because Xaden notices the change in my tone and looks at me closely, “What do you mean? What happened last year?”

Foolish. I should not have said anything about it. Damn it.

My mouth opens but no sound comes out and I start shaking when I think about how terrified I’d felt.

My big brother reaches out to me and I tense my muscles to keep from flinching away. He knows I’d never think he would hurt me so his gaze sharpens. He pauses before cupping my face in his hand and pulls me closer to hug him. “What happened, Lyra May? Tell me what’s got you scared, please, so I can help.”

Xade is quiet while I work through my thoughts. I can’t help Dain’s face flashing through my head, and at that moment I feel Xaden tense next to me. He takes a few deep breaths and I feel him relaxing, “How do you like your squad? Do you feel like you’ll be able to get close and trust each of them?” Xaden seems to be choosing his words carefully, and when I try to lean back to look at him in the eye, he tightens his arms, “No sweet girl, whatever is going through your head…I can tell that it’s hard for you to say. Eye contact will make it worse, just breathe through your feelings and tell me what you’re thinking.”

“I…I don’t like feeling this way.” I whisper, pausing then continuing when Xaden starts rubbing circles onto my back to try and calm me down, “My squad members will be fine; Imogen has a problem with Vi but I can handle her.”

“What can’t you handle?” He says just as softly as me, coaxing me to talk by soothing me just like he used to when we were younger.

“Him. I can’t-“ I choke on an inhale and try to pull away, to get away from the comfort I feel like I don’t deserve, but Xaden doesn’t relent.

“Let me help, little sister. You don’t have to suffer alone anymore. You deserve to feel safe and loved.” He moves his hand up to run his fingers gently over my hair and the feeling of Dain pulling my hair flashes in my mind.

Xaden is now a marble statue next to me, barely moving his hands as he continues to try and soothe me, he slowly unclenches his muscles then pulls back to look me in the eye. His thumbs brush away to tears that are falling, “You don’t have to say anything, just nod or shake your head, okay? Did Aetos hurt you?”

My face crumples immediately but I nod my head, clinging to my brother and hiding my face in his neck. Xaden’s hands spasm behind me but resume their caresses on my back as I cry.

When I hear his bedroom door open and close in a distant part of my brain I don’t even notice the three guys that have walked in until Bodhi is kneeling beside us, trying to pull me from Xaden’s hug.

I tighten my arms, suddenly remembering who exactly I just told and know that if he leaves this room I’m going to be in need of a new squad leader.

“No…absolutely not, Xaden. I can deal with this. I will deal with this; you can’t get involved. He didn’t do anything—I didn’t get—I just. I don’t like people touching me and when he saw my relic he wanted to know my real name, but I wasn’t allowed to tell him. He used my dislike of physical touch as a way of getting the information he wanted.” I raise my head and look at the rest of my family as I continue, “It’s only bad today because I hadn’t seen him in a year. If any of you try something he’s going to go whine to Colonel Aetos. He was my best friend and used his knowledge to hurt me…but I’m going to be okay.” My voice cracks as I finish speaking but I don’t stop looking at each of them until they finally nod.

I turn my attention to Xaden who has a faraway look in his eye, when he focuses back on me he smiles at me, “Sgaeyl says that you’re stronger than I realize. Coming from her, that’s high praise. Fine, I won’t do anything. But he’s in my wing, so if he does something stupid it falls under my jurisdiction to punish him.”

“Sgaeyl is beautiful. Please don’t punish him too badly, he’ll use it against me. He hates me enough already. He purposely put Vi and me in his squad.” More than ready to leave this conversation behind, I raise an eyebrow at Garrick, Bodhi, and Liam, “How did you three know to come in here just then?” I detangle myself from Xaden’s arms to hug Garrick and Bodhi since I hadn’t been able to yet.

“Apparently their dragons told them, I just followed along.” Liam tries to ruffle my hair as I pass him to sit on the bed again but fails because it’s still braided tight, “So we’re okay with the little Sorrengail? We like her?”

Xaden nods his head in response to Liam then gets quiet as he relays my message about no one killing her to the upperclassmen marked ones through their dragons.

With Garrick and Bodhi talking quietly in the background, I lean against the headboard once again to start undoing my hair from the braided bun. Once I have all the pins out I massage my head gently, keeping it up like this is going to be a pain in the ass but well worth it.

Liam sits next to me and bumps my shoulder with his. Movement to my left has me looking to see what caused it and I giggle when one of the shadows around the room gathers up my hair pins and moves them to the bedside table, “Hey, I need those!”

“Lyra, are you talking to my signet?”

I glance at Xaden to see him looking at me like I’m crazy and roll my eyes, “Your signet has been keeping me company all day and just stole all my bobby pins, so yes I’m talking to it.”

Bodhi and Garrick turn to look as the shadows move closer to me and laugh when they notice one curled up around my earrings.

“Dude, I know you’ve been looking forward to today for years, but really, all day?!” Garrick moves closer the pick up a strand of my hair to look at them.

Xaden doesn’t answer at first except to flip his best friend off.

“My signet usually doesn’t become sentient but I was worried about you…after they went to you I could feel that you were safe and I couldn’t really see what was happening but when you got anxious I could tell. They should hopefully calm down now that you’ll be here full time.” Xaden says with a shrug of his shoulders.

We continue to talk for another hour. Liam calls it a night when I start falling asleep against him. I give Bodhi, Garrick, and Xaden each a hug then walk with Liam back to the bunk room.

I’m asleep within seconds of my head touching the pillow, a small smile on my face because I’m finally back with my family.

Chapter Text

~Xaden~

Watching Liam leave my room with Lyra causes me to let loose a breath I didn’t even realize I was holding. Garrick and Bodhi talk quietly from where they’re sitting in the chairs around my table, sensing that I need a moment with my thoughts while we wait for Liam to come back.

My shadows are all back with me after being attached to my sister all day, and should stay that way unless I start to feel that she’s in immediate danger.

Seeing her after six years, all grown up with the aura and strength of a rider was a relief. On the outside she is everything a rider should be: physically powerful enough to make it through sparring and the gauntlet in one piece, remaining unbothered when faced with adversity, and not being afraid to show who she truly is to everyone. Some of the marked ones have come here trying to cover up their mark in anyway possible, but not Lyra. No, Lyra wore something so revealing that there was no chance for anybody to miss who she was.

It’s what my little sister holds inside and around her heart that worries me. Her anxiety and inclination to second guess herself weigh on her mind constantly. She doesn’t allow herself to show the indecision openly which means she is holding it all in until she gets to a safe place to let her emotions out. It’s how she’s always been, but I can’t help but wish that I could get her to stop stressing herself out.

“Stop obsessing. Your sister has been here less than one day, and you’re already keeping me awake,” Sgaeyl’s voice cuts through my thoughts and I can almost hear her snapping her jaws at me in irritation.

“Excuse me for being concerned about her, I haven’t known if she was okay for six years.” I glower at her in my mind because she knows I am not someone who does this all the time, yet she still called me out on it.

“I called you out on it because this isn’t like you. I chose you for being ruthless and for not abiding by everyone’s rules. You knew that the general had knowledge of where your sister was, yet you never searched for it. Why?” My dragons sharp tongue never ceases to amaze me and I actually huff a laugh out loud at that.

“Breaking into the generals office? If I had gotten caught, Lyra would’ve suffered.” I know even as I say it that I was being foolish for not ever trying this.

“…do I actually need to remind you what your signet is?” Sgaeyl’s barely holding herself together, whether she’s fighting the urge to laugh or fully questioning her decision in bonding me, I don’t know.

I roll my lips together and drop my head into my hands, because honestly that would’ve been such an easy thing to do.

Sgaeyl’s voice enters my head again, more serious than I’ve heard it in a long time, “You already acknowledged that she has what she needs to be successful. She will grow more confident inside and trust herself as she realizes that you and your family are here to stay. Acknowledge the fact that she got through 6 years without you and everything just hit her today. You need to focus on how you’re going to tell her about Aretia...”

I don’t say anything in response, but I know she’s right. Especially now that I know how close she is to the little Sorrengail, the sooner they find out about all of Aretia’s secrets the better. I don’t know how to broach the subject though, and I almost need to relearn who my sister is and just how close she is with little Sorrengail before saying anything.

A knock on the door jolts me out of my head and I watch as Bodhi opens the door. It’s warded to only allow certain people in here, so even if it was someone unfriendly they’d never get past the threshold.

Liam walks inside first and reclaims his seat at the head of my bed, but I stand before the door can shut because I can sense there’s someone hovering. After sticking my head out the door and looking around, I see Imogen shifting her weight from foot to foot looking livid. “Come on, Imogen, you can join us. I know why you’re here.” I’d have to be a fool to not know why she was here: Imogen lost her sister and mother after the rebellion and the closest she can get to those that she blames is the younger Sorrengail.

It’s not like I don’t understand where she’s coming from because I do: Brennan managed to keep his identity hidden from me for a year, and even then it was only revealed because of one of my signets. He literally fell off of Marbh when I called him his real name and had to mend his broken arm before indulging me in a sparring match. Not because I doubted his motives or why he was there, but I felt betrayed that he didn’t trust me with his real identity. His logic for not telling me outright was sound. I probably, no definitely, would have tried to kill him if he’d told me before I had complete trust in him.

Just last week, during the rest week between graduation day and conscription day, Imogen met Brennan for the first time. What was supposed to be a quick weapons drop off, turned into a two day trip that was an absolute joy to explain to the professors. Garrick and I had decided to open up the task of bringing supplies to Aretia and the fliers to the rest of our fellow marked third years and a few of the marked second years.

Imogen was chomping at the bit to be one of the first to see home after all these years. She’s an extremely talented rider and her signet is useful, so we didn’t see any reason to deny her.

What we didn’t anticipate was how quickly she’d figure out who General Aisereigh really is. She only said a handle of sentences to him to get to know him, and as soon as he said something about his family and how he missed them she was trying to attack.

Her thoughts are very loud so I managed to intercept her but it took awhile to get her to realize and accept that he was a major part of the rebuilding of Aretia.

“Xaden, you know how much I respect you—“ Imogen starts but Garrick cuts her off.

“Before you say anything insulting, Im, use the logical side of your brain. The side that made Glane choose you. You’re angry that you lost your mom and Corinna, I miss my family too. We all miss our family…but it’s not the Tyrrish way to blame children for the actions of their parents. That’s the Navarrian way. Or is this your way of telling us that you’re leaving your past behind and fully embracing the ways of the people you despise so much?”

Imogen jerks back as if his words have hurt her physically and glares at him.

I try to avoid actively reading my friends because I feel like it’s a breach of their trust, but I gently reach out with my mind and know that she’s gonna try to dig her heels in about hurting Violet.

Just as she’s opening her mouth to respond, I call my shadows to me and allow them to pool around us. They can sense my irritation and are shifting around restlessly, “Allow me to take this moment to remind you that while I tolerate emotions from one person, you are not her. She has been living with the people you hate for years. Do you forget that she did not even get an entire day to mourn for what we all lost before she had to make a decision that decided whether we got to live or die?” I pause to take a breath and see the realization slowly sinking in as Imogen realizes that she’s been behaving selfishly. I’m not done though; she needs to fully embrace the fact that the tiny one is not to be killed in the name of avenging our fallen loved ones. “You don’t have to become friends with Sorrengail, hell, you don’t even have to like her. But you will not put Lyra in danger by killing her, do you understand me? You have been the most outspoken of all of us and if you leave her alone the others will follow. Also, fix the animosity between you and Lyra. She has enough to deal with in your squad without being concerned about you and your feelings.”

Imogen’s face is hard but she gives a single nod in affirmation, “The tension was caused because she overheard me talking to some of us about her…foster sister. I’ll fix it.” I don’t respond verbally, but I allow my shadows to return to their places and sit down on my bed next to Liam.

Garrick, Bodhi, and Imogen all pull a chair up in order for us all to visit for a bit longer, all tension and unease gone now because even when arguing, we’re a family.

After growing up with Liam, with him becoming a brother to me instead of just my little sister’s best friend, it wasn’t even a question in my head about whether to tell Liam everything. Aretia, the weapons runs, and Brennan, he’ll know everything.

While Garrick catches Liam up on all of that I think back to using my signet to read Lyra. It wasn’t exactly my intention to do so, but when she practically shouted Aetos’ face and name at me I needed to get to the bottom of it. Her anxiety and distrust of him makes me want to strangle him, but I’ll resist the temptation for now. I don’t have proof he’s done anything wrong while at Basgiath, but the moment I do…he’ll be sorry he ever crossed paths with me.

Once Liam learns everything he immediately wants to know when we’re telling Lyra everything and it hurts my heart when I have to tell him not for awhile, at least until after she starts channeling and can learn how to shield her mind.

There are too many unknowns: will the General be asking for updates? If she does, will she have a truth-sayer in the room? The General and Colonel Aetos have worked together for years which means that tiny Sorrengail and Aetos grew up together, will they hope to gain information about us through his signet by reading Violet?

I know there is a reason he pulled a couple strings and called in a favor or two to place not only Violet but Lyra in his squad. From what I gathered while I was reading Lyra, Aetos was close enough to her while she lived with the General for him to learn about her. He knew that the fastest way to get the information he wanted was to throw her off balance by making her scared and doing the one thing she doesn’t like: touching her without permission. Not only was he intimidating her, but he was able to read body cues that she wouldn’t have been able to hide.

This shows me that he wasn’t trying to hurt her for personal gain, but he was thinking like a rider. He’s fierce enough to do what needs to be done and will do it, even if it could be seen as morally wrong. I don’t know why he’s chosen to place them in his squad but until I know why or they can both shield their minds…my little sister must stay in the dark.

I can’t help but heave a sigh as I imagine what Lyra’s reaction will be when she discovers everything. I make a mental note to ensure that she has no sharp weapons within reach.

“I think you’ll find that even without a blade, your sister will make you regret this decision.” Sgaeyl’s snarky response to that thought causes me to shove my mental walls up, I really don’t want to hear her opinion right now confirming what I already know. She brushes against them and I can feel her taunting me, but I ignore it. I know that if I lash out I’ll be lunch for a certain black beast who would like nothing more than to be rid of me so that he can have his mate all to himself.

“You’d be a nice appetizer actually, you’re not big enough for a whole meal. I am somewhat fond of you though, so he will behave.” Sgaeyl pushes through my walls easily to say this then puts her own shields up. 

Only somewhat? Ouch. The warmth I feel from her in response to that allows me to push past the melancholy feeling and accept that while Lyra will be mad at first…she doesn’t hold grudges and will be able to see and understand why we had to keep it secret. I can only hope that the little Sorrengail is as understanding and won’t hold a grudge when she finds out because that will put Lyra in the middle.

After another half an hour, my people head to their own rooms, Liam back to the barracks, to get some sleep before the first day. I change into my sleep clothes and get in bed. I won’t get any good sleep tomorrow because I’ll be taking weapons to Syrena.

Chapter Text

The next morning comes faster than I expect, but the morning routine for Vi and I is second nature and has been for years. Once we choose our chore detail for the time in between now and threshing we’ll need to adjust it, but that won’t be hard to do.

Violet is already dressed in her corset and a pair of shorts, in the middle of wrapping her left knee, when I jump down off my bunk.

Liam is still asleep and rolls over when I pull his sheet higher. He’s always been able to sleep like the dead, and a small smile forms when I think about the fact there’s things that haven’t changed.

I open a drawer on the little dresser that holds my weapons and clothes to grab a bandeau for my chest, a loose tank top, and shorts plus my toiletries then slide my feet into my pink, fluffy slippers. Violet snorts quietly at my choice of footwear and ducks out of the way when I smack at her on my way to the women’s bathing chamber.

After taking off my armor (sleeping in it was uncomfortable, and I don’t plan on doing that again), changing into my exercise clothes, washing my face, and brushing my teeth I start on my hair.

I separate my hair into two sections and dutch braid each side down my back. Once it’s October and threshing has happened I’ll be more strict about putting it up everyday, but I don’t see the need to stress about it right now. We do have our first sparring session today, but having my hair down will give me even more incentive to not lose.

After double checking that I have all of my things, I make my way back to the barracks. When my sleep clothes and toiletries are back in the drawer, I change into my running shoes then follow Violet outside.

Violet and I head to one of the stairways that will lead to the wilderness that acts as Basgiath’s backdrop. There isn’t a path or anything for us to run on, but we’ve pretty much made our own path from years of running along the walls.

Neither of us are talkative in the morning so the silence during our run gives both of us the chance to wake up and think about the day ahead. If I had to guess, Violet is already stressing about how she’s going to get through sparring.

The training regime and food Violet and I eat have helped us get stronger and gain muscle, but Violet needs some serious help with beating opponents on the mat. She can use her daggers and she’s fast, but the issue lies in when her opponent does get their hands on her: her body’s joints, bones, and muscles aren’t able to withstand the pressure.

I blink and nearly stumble when I realize that the answer has been staring me in the face: Vi needs a routine to focus solely on strengthening the muscles around her joints so that they’re less likely to pop out.

Plus, when I train with Violet it’s difficult for me to treat her as an opponent. I can spar and train with anyone else, no problem, but with Vi…we know each other too well and can anticipate each other’s moves. Neither of us enjoy sparring with the other either because I pull my punches and she ends up fussing at me for not taking her serious. I do take her serious, but I’m not going to punch or hit her full out because I know it’s going to hurt like hell. With Xaden and the rest of them we’ll be able to get Vi into proper fighting shape.

After Vi and I make a few laps, we make our way back to the barracks to wash the sweat off and change into the uniform we got yesterday. Our armor isn’t regulation, but no one will say anything. The main difference between the riders quadrant and the infantry quadrant is conformity, as long as rider cadets are in black and can move freely during sparring they don’t care how we look.

There’s still about an hour before the first day formation where we’ll hear the death roll then be released for classes. I have our weekly class schedule already memorized, but I’m not looking forward to it.

Violet, being the nerd that she is, is excited about what they’re going to teach us. I just want to get through these classes as fast as possible, especially battle brief. That’s the one class we must go to everyday and it is definitely going to be a test on my tolerance because it’s all a lie. Navarre isn’t teaching us how to defeat the venin, they’re telling their cadets lies about the gryphon fliers and killing soldiers needlessly.

“Earth to Lyra, are you listening to me?” Violet’s impatient but amused voice interrupts my inner monologue.

“Huh? No, I wasn’t listening.” I look around and see that while I’ve been on autopilot and in my head, we’re almost to the dining hall.

“What could you possibly be thinking that hard about this early? We haven’t even eaten yet.” Violet leads the way to the food trays while I glance around the hall.

We’re the only first years who’re in here this early while the leadership teams for all four wings are already awake and sitting on the elevated dais in the room.

A single shadow wraps around my wrist and squeezes before retreating back to wherever it came from; I look over at Xaden where he’s sitting with Garrick and Bodhi and smile at them before refocusing on Violet who’s still waiting on me to listen to her. I grab the food I want for breakfast and an orange juice then go to sit with Vi at a table in the back of the hall.

I cut into my sausage link and eat some eggs then look at Vi, “Okay, now, what were you saying? I have sustenance and am prepared to pay attention.”

I can’t help the laugh that comes out when Violet looks at me with an exasperated look on her face. “You’re ridiculous, I was saying, that we should talk about the plan for this year. All we established at home was to stay alive…after the chaos of yesterday I think we need something more concrete.” She takes a sip of her apple juice and spears some fruit onto her fork.

I nod my head, “Yeah, you’re right. Tell me more about Jack and I’ll tell you what happened with Aidan. Yes, the Aidan I’ve trained with previously.” She looks alarmed when I answer her unspoken question but still tells me about Jack.

“There’s not much more to tell honestly. He was behind me and Rhiannon on the parapet. He threw, literally, one cadet off the edge then pointed at me and said I was next. He was right behind me when I got onto this side of the parapet and I had to…persuade him…into leaving me alone. I really only think he complied because the two riders that took our names down agreed with me about the rules. I may have quoted the codex at him.” Her attempt at humor falls flat because her brows are furrowed and I know she’s more bothered by this than she’s admitting. She hates people that assume that she’ll be a liability simply because of her size. I always remind her that they’ll quickly learn that they’re wrong for assuming this about her, but it’s just one of those things she’s very conscientious about.

“Well. It sounds like we both have people who are determined to see us fail simply because they don’t like us. Aidan obviously saw my mark yesterday and he’s going with hating me instead of realizing that I’m the same exact person I’ve always been.” I pick my fork back up only to realize that I’ve eaten all of my fruit. I lean over and steal some of Violet’s and chuckle when she huffs and halfheartedly pushes my fork away from her plate.

“So…we should really just keep with staying alive, and look out for each other. Cool, nothing changed.” Violet swipes a hand down her face then pushes her plate to me so I can eat the last bites of her food without dropping any. I hum in affirmation as I finish eating.

When the dining hall starts to get busier with all the cadets coming in for breakfast, we both dispose of our trash and head to the courtyard. The sun is just barely over the horizon when we get to the courtyard and head to sit in an alcove to talk until formation starts.

“You’ll never guess what Mira gave me yesterday,” Violet looks at me with barely concealed excitement.

“Your armor? She told me,” I gesture to my own to show her I got a gift too.

“No! I mean, yes she gave me armor, but she also game me a journal. It’s called ‘The Book of Brennan’, and he wrote it for Mira before her conscription day. She saved it instead of burning it when he died, and now she gave it to me.”

My sister looks positively ecstatic about this and I can’t help but smile. “What’s in it?! We’ve got to look through it together.”

“One of the most useful things I saw on my brief perusal of it is that he found out where to see the name of our opponent for challenges; that’ll be helpful so that I can collect some things to help me succeed during those…why are you looking at me like that?”

“Because if I know you as well as I think I do, you’re planning on poisoning them in some way! Tell me you’re smarter than that, Violet. You don’t seriously think that’ll work do you?” When she opens her mouth to argue I plow on, “Even if no one caught on to every single one of your opponents mysteriously being unable to fight their best…you know that cheating does jack shit in making you better.”

“So you’d rather me get my ass kicked and potentially die when an opponent sees I can’t handle their hits? The dragons don’t want a rider who can’t fight.”

“The dragons really don’t want a rider who tries to go with poison instead of utilizing her new environment to maybe see if someone here has a better idea of how to train someone with your physique. While the dragons would admire your out of the box thinking, you’ve got to get better at fighting whether you’re ready to or not.”

We glare at each other for a moment before she snaps, “Who do you suggest I ask? Imogen, who’d likely slit my throat for the trouble? Or no, maybe Rhiannon who isn’t anywhere near my size. Or wait, better yet, let’s ask your giant of a brother who made it crystal clear yesterday that he’d be totally fine with seeing me fall off the parapet.” Her eyes flash as she finishes and if I didn’t know her better I would’ve said she was legitimately angry, but I can see the nervousness crushing her.

“Yeah? Are we feeling hostile this morning, Vi?” I gently nudge her with my foot and she instantly deflates.

“I will not die in here, Ly, but fuck. I’m so out of my element. I need my books and facts, and the fact is that I know if I poison my opponent I’ll live another day. If I don’t poison them…I could die and that would suck. I want to succeed, and poison is how I do that.”

“You want facts? Okay. It’s fact that my ‘giant of a brother’, as you called him, is our wingleader. That means he’s one of the best in the quadrant and not only would he help train you if you asked, but he’s not stupid. It’s a fact that he would realize what you were doing within a matter of weeks. And instead of allowing it to continue, he’d call you out and probably would make you fight him. Is that what you want?” Her cheeks flush when I ask that and I make a mental note to ask her about that when I’m not lecturing her. “Another fact would be that you’re not stupid and you know that after you bond a dragon you’ll still have a reason to need to know how to fight because one, the unbondeds will be jealous of all of us who bonded and two, challenges continue all the way to third year. It’s a fact that you must know how to fight.”

“I wanted to do this without help, Lyra, it’ll make me look weak.” Her voice is hesitant like she knows how foolish that answer is and I know she’s close to folding.

“You think I’m going to pass our classes without help? I’m definitely going to need help not arguing in battle brief. Are you telling me you won’t help me? We’ve been going to tutoring for everything else, but without help I will fail battle brief.”

She rolls her eyes then looks at me for a moment, “Fine. I won’t poison them, but I’m still going to check who we’re fighting each week!”

“Well duh, what’s the point of the journal if we don’t utilize it.” She laughs in response to that and smiles then stiffens when she looks away from me, all trace of amusement vanishing. I follow her gaze to see Dain walking towards us.

I stand up to meet him when he’s front of us and see in the corner of my eye that Vi is also standing, staring at him. He looks at both of us as his eyes roam over the two of us, and I notice his gaze lingering on my scars and relic.

Just as he’s opening his mouth to speak I feel a shadow curl around my calf and know that Xaden is somewhere in the vicinity even if I can’t see him.

“Lyra, I wanted to talk to you yesterday but wasn’t able to catch you before you went into the bunk room.” He pauses for a breath and seems to be trying to school his features, “I wanted to apologize for my behavior last year when I…well. When I learned who you really were. I behaved atrociously and I know I hurt you. Will you forgive me?”

Am I awake? Like am I legitimately hearing this?

I glance at Vi to see her gaping at Dain and know that she’s just as shocked.

“Why do you deserve my forgiveness?” I want to say more, I want to scream at him and hit him, but I can’t. Coming to me now, when people are entering the courtyard for formation, was calculated. Attacking my squad leader without provocation would land me in the General’s office nearly immediately.

“Why do you think I put you both in my squad? I’m hoping to make it up to you, to both of you. I know you don’t trust me, but I want to gain it back.”

Violet scoffs next to me and steps up to him, “You’re so full of shit, Dain Aetos.” For a moment I’m impressed as I always am when she gets mad. She has the ability to look down on somebody even though she’s always shorter than them. As much as I want her to tear into him…this isn’t the time or the place.

I nudge her with my elbow, “We’ll see if you earn my trust back, but for now…I forgive you.” Without another word, I brush past him to go take my place in formation, Violet right on my heels.

“What do you mean you forgive him?! You’ve lost your mind!” Violet hisses at me as she jogs to keep up with my stride.

I throw her a look when I take my place in formation and understanding alights in her gaze just as she’s taking her place a couple rows in front of me.

The emotions swirling around inside me get squished down while I take a few deep breaths, I don’t have time or energy to deal with the Dain situation on my first day of classes.

I feel the shadow around my calf squeeze once before it’s gone and I see Xaden appear at the front of fourth wing while the other wingleaders take their own spots.

Chapter Text

Before I know it, the first day of classes is over and I’m standing next to a sweaty, panicking Violet in the sparring gym. Anyone looking at her would say she’s calm but I can see the sheen of sweat on her forehead and how tightly her hands are clenched into fists.

Her and Rhiannon are talking about an agreement between the two of them, Rhiannon is going to help her with sparring and Vi is going to help her in History. When they pause this discussion I draw Violet’s attention to the fact that most of the men in the room are now running around shirtless. Her fists unclench instantly and she forgets about being nervous.

“You’ve got a bit of drool, just there,” I poke her cheek teasingly and laugh when she smacks me lightly.

“Oh shut it, I notice that you’re attracting quite a few of your own stares, ma’am.” She makes a point to look me up and down then raises an eyebrow.

“I’m not interested in their attention,” I say with a slight grimace, “It’s just too hot in here, I’ll train with a shirt on when it gets colder.”

We both wince when a tooth goes flying during Ridoc and Aurelie’s fight. Professor Emetterio steps in immediately and sends them off to the healers; I take this break in rounds to look around the mats and watch as a large blonde cadet a few mats over holds a smaller cadet in a headlock. Vi follows my gaze then grabs onto my forearm. Her nails are digging into my skin but I don’t even notice it as I watch this beast of a man snap his opponents neck.

“Holy. Fuck.” I gasp and send a prayer up to Malek for that poor cadet’s soul.

“That’s uh…that’s Jack…like from the parapet.” Violet’s voice is hushed and I actually tweak my neck muscles when I turn to look at her.

“You’re fucking joking .” I continue to watch as he feigns innocence about hurting his opponent. My eyes rove over his squadmates and I wonder what I did to piss off Zihnal when I see Aidan amongst them. Of course they’d be placed together.

I shake my head to clear it when Professor Emetterio gently but firmly reminds us this is how it’s going to be for the next three years. I grit my teeth and take a second to put my feelings in their books and shove them away to deal with it later. I readjust the wraps around my wrists and hands for the third time and bounce on the balls of my feet, I need this to be over so I can speak to Xaden about helping me train Vi.

“Sorrengail! Cardulo! You’re up next.”
Who is- oh. Yep. I definitely did something to piss off Zihnal.

“Deep breaths, Vi. Be smart, not stubborn!” This is all I can say to her before I’m watching my sister on the mat.

I fight the urge to pace back and forth. Everyone in here knows how close I am to her and if I seem uneasy that’ll be fuel to add to their fire. My hands are clasped together in front of my chest and I follow every movement Imogen and Vi make.

Imogen is fighting hard and has a menacing look on her face but she’s not doing anything that’s overtly threatening to Violet’s life.

When Vi smacks into the mat, I flinch and hold my breath as Imogen twists her arm behind her back.

“Yield, Violet!” Dain’s voice rings out and I can’t help but agree with him.

This is Violet we’re talking about though, and she doesn’t know when to acknowledge a fight is lost. Vi shrieks when her arm is pulled even further back, but she still doesn’t back down.

“Damn it, Vi!” I mutter as I watch, I know this is not going to end well.

“She yields.” Emetterio’s voice cuts through the noise but not fast enough because I hear the pop and crack as Violet’s body finally gives in.

“Fuck!” Imogen sounds genuinely shocked and immediately looks at me with emotions swirling around in her eyes too fast for me to catch.

I move forward to rush to Vi’s side but am stopped by a large hand on my shoulder, I turn to snap at whoever it is and bite my tongue when I see that it’s Garrick.

“You still need to complete your assessment, you can’t help her…your squad leader will take her to the infirmary.” His tone is firm since he’s currently in section leader mode, and I jerk my head in a nod.

I shrug my shoulder to dislodge his hand and side step away from him because I’m still pissed that I have to allow Dain to help her. She’s rigid in his arms, clutching her hurt arm tightly, and we just manage to make eye contact when he turns back around to rush her out. She raises her uninjured hand and signs “I fine” before letting her hand drop.

“Riorson! No, not you Xaden. Thomas! Your turn. Try not to break anything on each other.” Emetterio sounds done with everything and I give myself a mental shake to focus.

“Oh, fuck this.” The words slip out before I can stop them when I realize who my opponent is: Heaton. One of the only two third-years in my squad, and they’re utterly massive.

They smirk at me and saunter onto the mat, the instant my toe has touched the mat they’re running at me. I sidestep to the right and duck under their arm to leave two quick punches on their jaw. They turn much faster than I anticipate and swipe an arm out to catch me in the stomach. The breath leaves me in a huff but I roll through the pain and land somewhat behind them.

I land a few more punches to their lower back then dance out of reach, or at least I’m out of reach for a millisecond. Twisting around to reach me, they manage to get their hand on my arm and yank me towards them. My back hits their chest and I squash down the simmer of panic that I may lose this assessment, I need to be smart.

Their arms move to encase my own so I can’t use them as leverage, and I know my only option with an opponent this big is to feign defeat and hope they fall for it. I allow my upper body to lose tension while slowly taking stock of whether they’re falling for it, when they loosen their arms a pinch I allow my legs to buckle.

It worked!

Heaton stumbles a step while I roll forward then jump back up to face them. Heaton stands there for a moment with his head cocked to the side and I move forward to look for an opening to strike. Heaton finds his opening for me before I find theirs and takes me down to the mat with a tackle. I manage to bring my elbow down into their back once before I feel my back smack into the mat.  Heaton sits on my thighs and holds both of my arms to the side in one of their hands while their other hand rests on their thigh.

Since this is only an assessment I know they’re sitting here to allow me the chance to either try to get free or yield. I attempt to move my wrists, no luck. My upper body and head aren’t able to be utilized with my arms being held the way they are, and my lower body is completely immobilized.

I scowl at Heaton and roll my head side to side briefly before looking back at them, “I yield.”

My opponent immediately gets up and extends a hand to me.

“Not bad, little shadow.” Heaton smiles at me then moves off the mat, rubbing his jaw where I hit him.

Even though I’m pissed about losing, I can’t help but smile at the nickname. The peers in my squad congratulate me on a good fight and I appreciate the sentiment, but I need to know what Xaden thinks.

While Rhiannon and Luca spar on the mat, I skirt around the mat until I’m standing next to Xaden.

He knows why I’m there before I even have a chance to to say anything, “You fought a third year and didn’t get punched in the face, you should be ecstatic.” Xaden’s lips are barely moving while he keeps his eyes on the mat.

I open my mouth to protest that I feel like I could’ve done better then close it when I remind myself that Xaden wouldn’t lie about this.

After another half an hour or so, everyone has completed their assessments and we’re dismissed to dinner. I’m not particularly hungry so I wave off my squads invitation to come eat with them.

My wandering feet take me outside. I walk until I find myself near the path Violet will need to take to get back to our quadrant from the infirmary. I lean against the wall then slide to the ground. There’s a covering along this whole walkway, thankfully, because as soon as I get comfortable it starts pouring. If I was feeling stubborn today I’d try to go sit with Vi, but refrain because they’ll view it as me pestering her. The healers and Nolon don’t want anyone in there except the patients and those in the chain of command.

My mind drifts back through the day while I wait: besides battle brief and dragon etiquette, all classes are split by what year we’re in as well as what wing we’re in. All nine squads for fourth wing attend class together which was a lovely surprise for me because it means that I’ll get to be in class with Liam. Even if I won’t be able to talk to him every time during the day I’ll still get to see him and wave at him. All the tutoring Vi and I did paid off for the bookish and theory classes because I already learned quite a bit of the information.

Battle brief will be more interesting than I was anticipating because Professor Devera and Professor Markham are quite the pair. Plus, Violet knows how to think fast, reads between the lines, and asks the questions that matter.

I’m impatient for the dragon etiquette class to start, but that won’t be until shortly before threshing. The idea of finally getting to bond a dragon after thinking about it my entire life is crazy, I cannot wait.

“Riorson, can I sit?” I startle slightly when I look up to see Imogen standing above me with a plate. I push aside the knee jerk reaction to be rude even though I’m upset with her for hurting Violet.

“Yeah, that’s fine.” I watch out of the corner of my eye as she sits next to me and extends the plate towards me.

“I uh…I noticed you weren’t in the mess hall and knew you’d be waiting for Sorrengail.”

“And…you decided to bring me food?” I can’t hide the shock in my voice as I take the plate from her and look down at the chicken and vegetables.

Imogen nods, scratching her neck with her hand which causes her arm muscles to flex, “Don’t worry though, I didn’t poison it. Your brother would be kinda peeved about that…speaking of your brother being peeved…I’m sorry we got off on the wrong foot. And uh that I accidentally broke your uh Sorreng- I mean, your sister.” She furrows her brows and glares at the ground.

I sit in silence and blink at her a moment before letting out a laugh, “Are you apologizing to me for breaking Vi’s arm?”

“Well yeah, I am. I suppose I shouldn’t have allowed my anger to blind me…” she continues to glare at the ground as she finishes, “I also want you to know that I’ll help you…both in any way that I can.  Neither of you need to worry about me hurting Sorrengail…at least again. I didn’t think she was that weak. I mean flimsy, no that’s bad too, I didn’t know she’d break so easy.”

“You must not be used to admitting you’re wrong, are you? It looks like you’re trying to crack the concrete.” I laugh a little while I take the first few bites of food, “We can start fresh though…if that’s what you’re hoping for. You’ll need to apologize to Vi though, and maybe don’t stumble over your words so much. She’s not as patient as me.”

“Who’s not patient?” Imogen jumps to her feet when Vi’s voice cuts in. I stay sitting down, content to continue eating my food and not feeling too inclined to get in between the two.

“Uh…shit. Already off to a bad start. We were saying that you aren’t patient with fumbling around for words.” Imogen rolled her eyes to the ceiling then looked back at Violet, “I’m sorry about your arm. I’ll help you and little Riorson however I can, and you don’t need to worry about me hurting you again.”

I watch as Vi’s mouth drops in shock, “Oh, wow. Okay, thank you. I accept your apology.”

Vi eases down to sit next to me and takes a piece of chicken from the plate with her hand that’s not stuck in a sling.

“Well come on then, Imogen. If we’re starting fresh then you can sit with us and we’ll learn about each other.” I gesture with my free hand to my other side. She hesitates for a moment before finally sitting down.

The three of us end up talking right up until curfew, and I know that Vi and I have made a new friend tonight.

Chapter Text

Three weeks at the quadrant flies by, and all of the first years quickly establish their own individual routines.

Vi and I keep up with our daily running but Imogen convinces us to add in twenty minutes of stretching before our showers and breakfast. On class days we spend two hours in the gym after class with Imogen and Rhiannon before herding me to the mess hall because none of them want to deal with my crabby ass when I’m hungry. The rest days, after our exercise, shower, and breakfast, are spent a variety of ways, but the best days are like today where I get to spend all day with my people.

I’m hoping that someday soon will finally be day that Violet and Xaden will get to officially meet…they’ve been tiptoeing around each other no matter whether it’s in the sparring gym or battle brief or in the hallway between classes. Xaden will stop and ask about my day when he sees us, but both of them refuse to speak to each other no matter how many times I try to find common ground between them.

Stubbornness is apparently a requirement that must be fulfilled when the Gods choose my siblings. I can’t even begin to imagine the chaos that will ensue the first time Xaden and Mira meet.

With challenges officially starting tomorrow, I asked Professor Emetterio if Vi and I could utilize the sparring gym after dinner for a few hours. He agreed instantly with the stipulation that there wouldn’t be too many people in the gym without a member of leadership present. Since we don’t plan on having anyone except the two of us in there it was easy to reassure him that nothing crazy would be happening.

Violet is finally feeling confident about winning her challenges, without the help of poisoning her opponents, but agreed that one more night of practicing would be beneficial. She’s been working with Imogen on fighting styles that will work with her size while also continuing to hone her speed and throwing skills.

I follow behind Vi as she opens the gym door. She moves to switch on the light while I lock the door behind us. I notice a shadow lurking at the of the closest mat and smile, “Hello you, are you gonna monitor our practice session?”

“Lyra! How many times do I need to ask you to not talk to the shadows? It startles me every single time.” Violet shakes her head at me and nudges my shoulder.

“And how many times do I need to tell you that I’m never gonna stop talking to them? Come on little sister,” I drop my hands to rest near my thighs and watch Vi closely.

“Oi! I’m older than you. Watch it with that ‘little sister’ bull, I actually have a chance to beat you now.”

The retort I want to say doesn’t get a chance to leave my mouth before she’s flying at me. I don’t bother hiding my smile at her confidence and how surefooted she is, and I’m grateful that Imogen has been able to help her so much. The help from the cranky second year means that I’m not so nervous to fight Vi with my full strength. She knows how to deflect the hits now as well as she knows how to counter them quickly.

She proves this point by ducking under my right arm, landing a punch to my side, and rolling through the pain of a hit I managed to land on her left. Vi’s eyes go wide when I manage to get the upper hand, and I feel relief bloom in my chest when I watch her think through the moves instead of panicking about being bested.

We go around and around until we’re both panting and sweaty. I grab my water and toss Vi’s to her which she easily catches.

“Wanna try with weapons? Or if not with actual weapons with those sticks things?” Vi asks through sips of her water.

“Absolutely. And ‘those stick things’ are called practice weapons, dummy.” She makes a rude gesture with her hand in response which causes me to laugh when I get up and head to the corner with the wooden practice weapons. I grab two short ones for Vi, toss them to her, then get a longer one and a short one for myself. Vi prefers her little blades for throwing while I prefer a sword and dagger.

Before either of us can step back onto the mat, the click of the lock has me whirling around. I drop the practice weapons and bring my hand up to rest on my sword over my shoulder only to realize I don’t have my weapons on me since Vi and I were just sparring. I let my arm flop back down and watch the door to see who it is.

I relax once I see Xaden, Garrick, Bodhi, and Liam enter the gym. Violet shifts uneasily in my peripheral and the smirk on my big brother’s face says that he saw her nervousness.

“Lyra…I thought it was just going to be you and I.” Vi hisses out of the side of her mouth.

She stiffens when Xaden answers her instead, “Oh it was, but when I heard that you two had the whole gym to yourselves I had to come observe. I‘ve never heard of Professor Emetterio allowing cadets in here without supervision.”

“And apparently you can’t travel without your shadows? Seriously, why did all four of you have to come in here?” I wince at Vi’s tone of voice. I know she sounds snappy because the four of them make her jumpy, but to anyone who doesn’t know her well she sounds really bitchy.

Liam laughs at her response, completely unoffended, and makes his way to me. He gives me a hug then pulls me to sit down. I don’t fight him cause I’m completely unprepared for them to come barging in here, and I have no idea what they have planned.

“Come on guys, let Xaden help Vi work out some of that crankiness with a few rounds of sparring.” Liam calls to them.

I watch Violet’s eyes nearly bug out her head when she whips her head around to glare at Liam.

“There is absolutely no way-“

“Great idea, little brother! You shouldn’t go into challenge day with any crabbiness. It leads to you being unbalanced.” Xaden’s voice cuts her off, smirk still intact on his face.

When Violet swings her head around to look at me, pleading with her eyes to save her, I drop my head into my hands for a moment then look back up at her. I raise my hands in surrender as I say, “I mean…if you’re able to hold your own against Xade then the first years will be no trouble.”

Vi splutters, drops the practice weapons then takes a deep breath and gestures in Xaden’s direction, “We-we haven’t even been officially introduced!”

“Hello, Violence. Thank you for being a steady presence and a good friend for Lyra the past few years. I’m Xaden, her brother who has had nothing to do for years except plan your mother’s demise…and just a few weeks ago I learned that not only is that off the table, but I now have to make nice with you. I promise that sparring with me will do nothing but help ensure you can continue being there for her.” He answers without missing a beat and extends his arm for her grasp so they can shake hands.

I watch Vi take a deep breath after blinking owlishly at Xade’s extended arm for a moment, “Hello, Xaden. I’m Violet. I’ll always be a steady presence for her, and I’m her sister. Not just ‘a good friend’. Get that shit correct right now.” Violet extends her hand and waits to grasp his forearm until after she says, “You don’t get a special prize for disliking my mother.”

I suck in a breath when Violet swings at Xaden with one of her real daggers then exhale when he catches her arm easily. He yanks her closer by their still grasped forearms, “You get a special prize for being predictable. You need to change things up constantly.” His leg sweeps hers out from under her and I gasp when she drops. I move to stand, opening my mouth to fuss at him for hurting her, when I notice the shadows that have flooded the ground around her to break her fall.

Bodhi’s hand drops on my shoulder to pull me back to sit on the bench, “He remembers what you’ve said about how easily she breaks…he wants you to know that he’s not going to hold back, but he won’t break her. He also doesn’t want to deal with you if he did hurt her, so try to relax. Do you want to spar with one of us to distract yourself?”

I turn to be able to meet his gaze and see in his brown eyes that he’s telling me the truth. I exhale loudly but shake my head, I reach to both sides and interlock my fingers with Bodhi’s and Liam’s then turn back to watch Violet and Xaden.

In the time Bodhi and I were talking, Xaden has been showing Violet how to regain the upper hand from below when there’s a bigger and stronger opponent above her. I tilt my head, watching as their fight progresses then wince when Violet distracts him by trying to stab him with the dagger in her right hand and lands a blow with her fist under his chin. Xaden barely flinches but nods his head and says something to her and shows her a few other moves.

A little over thirty minutes later, I’m panting and reaching for my water again. Liam swipes it out of my hand and I lean against him while Bodhi and Garrick plop back down onto the bench. The four of us got bored watching Xaden and Violet spar each other, so we’ve been practicing fighting against multiple opponents.

Vi and Xade were watching and cheering us on for the last five minutes, Vi actually shrieked in excitement when I finally managed to overpower Garrick by tricking him.

Liam gently pushes me forward to stand on my own two feet then drapes his arm around Violet’s shoulders when she walks towards me and directs her towards the door. Garrick and Bodhi follow them slowly, but I turn to Xaden who’s watching me with an odd look on his face.

“What? What’s wrong?” I look down at myself and see nothing out of the ordinary.

“Nothing, I just…you’re so different now but also the exact same. You used to argue with the trainers when they wanted to teach you lethal blows and how to fight with aggression. Now you’re willingly using force against a guy on the stairs leading to parapet instead of trying to talk him down. What happened to the little girl who used to come running for me or one of the guys when someone was mean to her? I’m proud of you and I know this is what you always wanted, so I’m just trying to wrap my head around the fact that you’re not a little girl anymore.” Xaden looks ashamed at the fact that he’s feeling emotions and I take a step closer to him.

“That little girl is still here, Xade, she’s buried deep down but is still here. I just…I had to learn how to take care of myself because I need to make you and Dad proud. I won’t succeed here if I can’t fight, and we both know how much I want and need to succeed. If there’s a way for me to not hurt or kill someone I’ll take it, but I won’t put myself or the people I…we care about at risk.”

Xaden doesn’t answer verbally but he pulls me into a hug and holds me tight, “No matter what you do, Dad is proud of you. You’re his little girl. I’m also proud of you, and I’m here now. I’ll do anything to keep you safe. I promise.”

Garrick sticks his head around the door just then and shoots a look at Xaden, “It’s getting kinda late dude, almost curfew.”

Xaden nods, squeezes my shoulders once more then nudges me towards the door, “Goodnight, Lyra. Don’t dawdle tonight, okay?”

“Me? Miss my bedtime? No thank you, goodnight you two. I love you both. You’ll lock the gym for me, Xade?” At his nod, I turn and hurry down the hallway to get the bunk room before curfew.

~Xaden~

“Everyone knows not to mention this to her?” Garrick asks for the umpteenth time, both of us watching as Lyra disappears around the corner towards the first year dorm.

I throw him a glare before turning to lock the gym doors, “Ask me that one more time. I dare you.”

Garrick throws his hands up in a ‘I surrender’ motion, “Liam and Bodhi are gonna meet us outside after they see both girls are safely back in the bunk room.”

“Everyone knows that until she can shield Aetos, she can’t know about any of this. Even if the “let’s be friends” thing is all him…we can’t take a chance on him touching her and finding out what we’re doing.”

“You should hope that your sister is still as understanding as you remember her to be.” Sgaeyl snaps, “My mate agrees with me, especially since I told him about your little sisters, littler sister. Do you realize who his previous rider was? Do you know why that’s important?”

“Your point?” We’ve had this disagreement numerous times now, but I haven’t changed my mind about telling Lyra. Much to my dragons disapproval and irritation.

“The tiny one’s brother is alive in Aretia. My mate lost his last rider to save her older brother. When they find out they’re going to be livid, and I don’t blame them.”

“Lyra wouldn’t overreact…and since when do you try to understand the emotions of humans?”

“Imagine if someone hid your existence from her, Xaden. I can see in your thoughts how much she loves and cares about her people. Whose side is she going to take? You tell me: the brother she’s missed for six years or the sister she’s bonded with for six years who’s now pissed that her brother is really alive?” Sgaeyl says something else in her native language that makes me feel like I’m being cussed out then resumes chastising me, “I’ve also already told you that your sisters awe and respect towards us is why I like her. I tolerate you.”

Sgaeyl and I have bickered all the way outside and I shove my shields up once Garrick and I stop under the usual tree that the marked ones meet at every couple of weeks.

~A couple weeks later~

“I want to know the truth…”

“You lied to me.”

”Are you scared of me?” Dain is pressing me down into the mattress.

Wake up. Wake up. Wake up.

“Will you forgive me?”

“Come on, Lyra. I never even did anything that bad. You’re my best friend.” He’s whispering in my ear.

Too close.

He’s too close.

I can feel the scruff on his cheek against my own.

Wake up. Wake up. Wake up.

My hands and wrists are hurting. It feels like I’ve been sparring without wraps again.

“Are you gonna be good and tell me the truth?” He’s pressing my wrists into the mattress to keep me from hitting him. I can feel the weight of him pressing on my lower body, holding me down—

I jolt awake suddenly and launch myself out of my bunk as quickly and quietly as possible.

I’m going to be sick.

I can’t breathe.

Where the hell am I?

Somewhere in my jumbled thoughts I hear both Xaden’s and Violet’s voices reminding me to list things out when I need to pull myself out of an attack.

Okay, I can do that.

Basgiath. Riders quadrant. First floor bunk room. Bathrooms are outside in the hall.

Why are my feet cold? Oh. That’s why.

I’m not wearing my slippers on this nasty floor…gross.

Somewhere in the chaos of my mind I remember to grab a towel then just barely manage to shut and lock the door behind me. We’re not supposed to lock the door since this is a communal space, but I frankly don’t have the headspace to care right now. I need the privacy for a few minutes.

Once the shower is turned on and spraying ice cold water I strip off my sweaty pajamas and get in, hoping the cold will jolt me out of this panic attack.

Every muscle in my body feels bruised. It’s definitely hurting because we’ve started practicing the gauntlet along with all the strength training Imogen, Vi, and I are doing, but the scared part of my brain that still thinks it’s because of the nightmare.

Shit. Tomorrow is the day we actually have to do the gauntlet…or is it late enough that it’s actually today?

“It was a dream. It wasn’t really happening. I’m awake now. I’m not weak. I’m not weak. I’m not weak.” I whisper this to myself as the tears I’ve been holding back roll down my face and I force myself to take deep breaths. I hold it then release it slowly until I can breathe without getting choked up.

I fight against the urge to sit down to let the water beat on me, I need to get out of here and back in bed before one of my peers calls an upperclassman to unlock the door. Turning the water warmer gradually, I allow myself one more minute before turning the faucet off.

My hair is wet on the ends, and the messy bun I threw my hair into before bed last night is close to falling out of the hair tie. I gently pull it out of my hair and stick it on the counter; I shudder when the wet hair touches my lower back and hurry to redress in my pajamas. I grimace when I realize they’re still damp from my sweat but I force myself to be fine with it. There are worse things to deal with than having damp, cold pajamas.

I finish getting dressed in the nick of time and try to look put together when I hear the door being unlocked. With the dirty towel in one hand, I use the other to stick my hair tie into the waistband of my pajama shorts.

“Alright, what idiots are messing around in here and thought they’d get away with locking the door? Oh—“ Dain stops short when he sees me standing near the counter trying to avoid eye contact so he doesn’t notice that my eyes are still red from crying, “Hey, Lyra. I guess that answers that. I know you better than to think you’d mess around with anybody. Is something wrong? Why was the door locked?”

Fuck. Why him?

“I just needed to shower…I didn’t realize the door locked behind me.” It’s a weak excuse even to my ears and I cringe inwardly at how my voice sounds.

I need to get out of here.

His eyes drop to my barefeet then jump back up to my face, I clutch the towel tight in front of my chest and lean back against the counter.

“Have you been crying? What’s wrong—“ He goes to take a step forward and I flinch before I can stop myself.

“ Don’t .” I’m looking at him directly now and he blanches when he sees the tears in my eyes threatening to fall.

“Shit, Lyra.” He seems conflicted and I just blink at him, not even kind of inclined to try and work out what he’s thinking, “I should…how can I help?”

Wow he’s an idiot.

“Get out. I don’t want your help.” I startle and nearly drop my towel when I feel a shadow wrap around my wrist gently. I look down at it then look back up to Dain who’s watching it with a mix of irritation and…is that fear?

“I’m gonna go, but can we please talk soon? Alone and without your brother eavesdropping?” Dain takes a step back and turns to open the door. Before he can reach out to grasp the handle it swings open and I watch as he jumps to avoid getting smacked in the face.

“Squad leader Aetos. Can you tell me why you’re in the women’s restroom, with the door closed, with a first year cadet?” I breathe a sigh of relief at Bodhi’s voice.

Thank the Gods it’s not Xaden.

“The door was locked, so I was doing my duty to see what was going on in here when I saw Ly-Cadet Riorson in here by herself. She looked upset, so I felt that it was my job to see if she needed anything, Executive Officer Durran.” Dain looks like he swallowed a rotten egg as he spits out Bodhi’s rank.

My cousin barely glances at me, but nods and gestures to the door, “Thank you for doing your duty, you’re dismissed.”

“But-“

“You’re dismissed, Aetos. Unless you’d like to repeat what happened to our wingleader?”

Dain glances at my wrist again, “Goodnight. I will see you in a few hours for the gauntlet, Lyra.”

After the door swings shut I slump back against the wall and slide down until I can rest my head against my knees.

“Hey, hey, hey. What is it? Did he hurt you again?” Bodhi hurries forward and crouches down next to me.

“No. It was just a nightmare. I shouldn’t have locked the stupid door but I needed a moment to myself. I’m sorry you had to come down here. It’s so dumb. Am I foolish to think I can bond a dragon, Bodhi? What dragon is going what me when I have nightmares about something that happened over a year ago? Isn’t that weak?” I squeeze his hands to the point I actually feel the bones in my hand grinding against each other but he just looks at me and shakes his head gently.

“No, Lyra, that’s not weak. Any dragon that looks at you is going to see your strength. Even the strongest among us need to feel their emotions. Emotions don’t make you weak, I promise.”

I nod at him then rise to my feet. He stands with me and pulls me into a hug.

Later that day I’m standing next to Violet in formation, heading towards the gauntlet. She’s tapping her hand repeatedly against her upper thigh to ensure that the dagger she brought with her across the parapet doesn’t grow legs and walk away. That dagger is going to be her only way up the last stretch of the gauntlet.

She looks at me three times in a row then quickly turns her head away with an odd look on her face when I turn towards her, on the fourth time I finally blurt out, “What’s wrong?! You’re making me nervous.”

“Is now a bad time to tell you that Dain has been trying to convince me to go to the scribes? He doesn’t think I can do this, but I know I can. You’ve been helping me and Imogen and Rhi, and I know I can do this, but I’m second guessing myself.”

I stop in my tracks so suddenly that Rhi bumps into me but I don’t even notice her apology. I see red, “He what?” I snarl.

“Ah fuck. Keep moving, Lyra, keep walking please.” Violet turns her wide eyed gaze to Rhi who pushes me forward gently with a hand on my hip.

I generally think I’m a fairly calm person, but everyone has a breaking point. Mine was breached this morning with my dream and now I hear that he’s been discouraging her? I want to challenge him and beat his smug ass into the dirt. How dare he try to tell her she’s not capable? Before she knew me, they were inseparable. He was her best friend, the person she trusted with everything. Does he not realize the impact he can have?

I can hear Violet continuing to talk in my ear to try and calm me down but none of it is penetrating into my brain. I hear Xaden’s voice call out for fourth wing to move out and watch as the first-years form a single file line to walk through the tunnel.

I end up as the first person in second squads line, so I can clearly see when Dain steps to the side to wait for our squad so he can walk with us. I stalk past him and nearly make through the whole tunnel without incident.

Nearly, but not quite.

Dain walks behind me, between Violet and Rhiannon, and when I hear Violet deny his pleas to run not once, not twice, but three times I finally whirl around and get in his face. I don’t touch him, but I’m close enough that I could if I wanted to.

“You don’t learn from your mistakes, do you? Learn to accept it when someone gives you an answer. Don’t try to force them to change it.” I’m acutely aware of Violet tugging on my arm, trying to pull me out of Dain’s face, along with the rest of my squad who’s watching this with wide eyes. “Come near Violet again with that scribe bullshit, and I’ll put you on the ground Aetos. And so we’re clear, that’s a threat. Not just a promise.”

I extract my arm from Violet’s grip gently then gesture for her to walk in front of me, “You’ve got this Vi. This is what we’ve been working towards. Ignore the idiot.” I don’t bother lowering my voice as we come out of the tunnel.

“Was that a lovers quarrel…?” Ridoc’s carrying whisper makes me gag, but whatever. Dain needed to know he couldn’t just fuck with Vi’s head. I can feel three particular sets of eyes burning into me, but I can’t let any of this distract me anymore. As long as Vi and I get to the top in one piece, that’s all that matters.

Watching the other squads climb the gauntlet ahead of us makes me wish that Xaden was the wingleader of first wing simply so that we could’ve gotten this over with. I’m confident in my ability, but I hate the waiting game. To pass time, and to calm down from the remaining irritation towards Dain, I think back to the first dragon class.

I’d been so excited about finally starting that class that I’d dragged Violet to sit with me out of the classroom thirty minutes before it was set to start to be able to enter first. After class actually started, I was nearly dancing in my seat as each of the dragons were projected in front of us. The projection of Codagh was startling, I’d felt like I was looking at him from across a field again. After that it switched to Tairn, where we learned that his previous rider passed away by trying to save someone during the war. If I didn’t already have an uneasy feeling about that sentence…it was reinforced when Violet’s fingernails dug into my thigh under the table. We could only hear about the last member of the black dragon den. Professor Kaori didn’t even know if the dragon was male or female nor the name because they’ve never bonded before. It’s assumed that they’re around Tairn’s age, but until they bond a rider we won’t know for sure. Jack and Aidan, of course, were boasting about how they’re going to be the ones to bond the blacks.

When Professor Kaori projected Sgaeyl I couldn’t help but marvel again at the beautiful dragon that is bonded to my brother. Kaori was quick to warn everyone to stay away from her if she’s not with Xaden, but I have a gut feeling that even without Xaden present she wouldn’t hurt me.

The cheers for the last cadet from fourth wing’s claw section making it up the gauntlet pulls me from my thoughts.

Okay, I’m next. Then I get to see the dragons at presentation.

I check the laces on my boots one final time and wait to hear my name called. As soon as I hear Emetterio bark out my name I’m sprinting forward. Hesitation will get me killed and I refuse to die this close to the dragons. No one else and no stress has space in my head while I do each ascent, my breathing is the thing I’m focusing on.

Before I know it, I pull myself up onto the grass just past the vertical wall and stand in front of my brother to get my time. Noise floods back in once it clicks in my brain that I made it and I can hear cheers coming from my squad in support of me.

“Great job little sister, you have the fastest time so far.” Xaden smiles at me and I do a little dance in my excitement.

After taking a moment to catch my breath I make my way to the edge to watch the rest of my squad take on the gauntlet.

Rhiannon and Ridoc come after me and I hug both of them then turn to watch Violet. We talked about her plans endlessly, now it just needs to work.

“Come on, Vi! You’ve got this!” I shriek as she flies through the first three ascents with no trouble. When she grabs the rope I immediately start hearing grumbling around me, and I snap at them to shut up. She makes it up the chimney and I can see the pain on her face, but she’s got this.

“One more! Then we’ve done it, come on, Vi!” I scream and cheer for her along with the rest of my squad members. I contain the flinch when I hear her pained shriek as her joints complain about catching all of her body weight, but continue shouting my support. She flings herself over the edge and has less than a moment to breathe before I’m yanking her up. “Fuck yeah, we did it! You did it!” She smiles at me and pulls me into a tight embrace. I feel her hands trembling against my back and make a move to look at them when I hear an argument starting about Vi’s tactics.

We both turn to watch Amber Mavis attempt to get in Xaden’s face only to be thwarted by Garrick getting in between them. I push Violet towards them to be able to speak for herself, but stay on her heels.

As soon as Amber starts trying to play the codex card I scoff but then play it off as a cough and wave her off when her fiery gaze lands on me.

“It was probably your idea for her to break the rules, princess!” She spits the pet name out and glares at me.

Oh.

I know the fuck not.

The utter audacity of her to throw that day into my face? Absolutely not.

Her glare falters and she actually takes a step back when I brush past Xaden and Garrick to get in her face.

“You want to accuse someone of breaking the rules? Fine. More power to you. But keep things that have nothing to do with you out of your mouth. Focus on your own wing and keep your obnoxious self out of Fourth Wing’s business” I’m a couple inches taller than Amber so not only is she leaning back but she’s having to look up at me. I can’t help the twinge of sick pleasure that runs through me when I see how nervous she looks. Her eyes are darting back and forth between me and something behind me.

“Soooo I don’t know who put the extra servings of badassery in Lyra’s breakfast this morning, but please do it everyday. It makes life so much more interesting when we get to see the sweet girl fuck people up verbally.” Ridoc’s gleeful voice brings me back down to the present.

I take a step back and once I see Garrick and Xaden in my peripheral I turn around completely to make my way back to Violet. She’s looking at me like the proudest older sister in the world and I give her a small smile.

“Any other comments or concerns, Amber? The knife was brought with her across the parapet so technically it’s part of her person and she accepts the 30 second penalty for using the rope.” Xaden directs a dark glare at her.

She just glares at Vi and I for one more moment then turns and stomps away.

I exhale the breath I didn’t realize I was holding and direct my attention to Vi’s hands that are bleeding from the rope burn. I feel a presence at my back and from how high Violet has to look up I know it’s Xaden. Rhi and Ridoc crowd around us while I’m cutting strips off my shirt to wrap around her hands. When I hand the strips to her that’s when I realize my hands are trembling, I clench them into fists then loosen them when I feel shadows wrap gently around my hands.

“I’m okay, Xade. Focus on recording the times. I love you big brother.”

“I love you little sister. I’m beyond proud of you.”

A little while later, we’re being told to line up again for presentation.

I cannot wait.

Chapter Text

“I haven’t seen you get in anybody’s face like that in a long time, Ly. Are you okay?” Vi nudges me with her shoulder as we wait for the squads that placed ahead of us to move into position.

I give Liam a thumbs up as he passes me because of the 170 of us that made it up the gauntlet he was the fastest. I came in second, only three seconds behind him, but between the adrenaline rush that happened when I got pissed off not once but twice, with Dain and Amber, and the excitement I feel now…I don’t have it in me to be upset that I wasn’t first up.

“I’m looking forward to presentation. Anything else I’m feeling can wait until after I’ve finally seen the dragons. I’m so excited about that, Vi, it’s not even funny. But I’m also irritated that everything leading up to this has been stressful.”

“Ridoc was right about one thing though,” Vi glances at me with a smirk, “No one knew what to do because you’re always so quiet, plus you’re the first one to say we need to respect the chain of command. Like don’t get me wrong, everyone knows you can handle your shit on the mat, but no one expected you to get in the face of two upperclassmen.”

I open my mouth to respond but before I can, Garrick is calling us to formation. A shiver of excitement shoots up my spine and everything I’m feeling that doesn’t pertain to the dragons gets shoved into one of the drawers in my mind where I’ll deal with it later. I’ve been looking forward to this day for years. In the back of my head I can hear Luca annoying Garrick, who’s attempting to maintain a straight face. I’m successful in tuning her out until I hear her say the word feathertail and suddenly I’m thrown back into a memory from a day when I was younger.

“Ya know, your grandfather was bonded to a dragon. She’s ruthless, stubborn, and vicious…all of which meshed well with who he was as a rider.” My dad glances at Xaden and I with a small smile while he cuts a couple of slices of chocolate cake. It’s become a nightly routine for us to sit together and visit at night because mom left a couple weeks ago, and no one knows where she went.

I left Riorson House the day after she disappeared to look for her, but I ended up lost for hours. Dad scooped me up when he finally found me, too relieved and brokenhearted to fuss at me for wandering because he knew that I just wanted my mom and she was nowhere to be found. Auntie May, Liam and Sloane’s mom, took me from his arms and carried me home, murmuring to me while I cried and reminding me that she loved me endlessly.

“He bonded a dragon?! A real, breathing dragon?!” Seven-year-old me screeched, forgetting that it was late and everyone living and working in my home was trying to wind down for the night. Xaden jumped in his seat next to me and grumbled at me for being too loud until he was distracted by the clink as Dad set the slice of chocolate cake in front of him with a fork.

Dad chuckles, ruffling my still damp hair, “Yes, little Lyra. Your grandfather was one of the cadets brave enough and strong enough to make it through the trials. His dragon’s name was Sgaeyl. She’s a blue daggertail, and as far as I’m aware I don’t think she’s chosen another cadet to bond with after your grandfather passed away.” He sat down next to me with a single plate and two forks, both of us taking turns getting a bite.

Xaden finishes his slice and leans his head against me from his seat, he’s been fluctuating between absolute silence and an occasional outburst since Mom left.

“If she still doesn’t have a rider when I grow up, I’m going to be the one to bond her!” I speak through a mouthful of cake so it comes out muffled.

“I’m older, if anyone should get to bond her it’s me.” Xaden snaps from where he’s still leaning against me.

My fork clatters against the plate when I drop it in shock, “Nuh uh! It was my idea-“

Xaden opens his mouth to retort, but Dad distracts us by swinging me up into his arms and holds me close. He opens his other arm, offering to carry Xaden, and my ten-year-old brother shuffles forward and allows Dad to scoop him up as well. I lay my head against Dad’s shoulder and see a few of the kitchen workers watching us walk away with soft expressions in their faces. None of us say anything as we slowly climb the steps to the floor that has our rooms, but Xaden reaches out and holds my hand from where it’s resting against Dad’s chest. Dad bypasses both of our rooms and sets us down gently onto his bed. Neither of us will sleep in our own rooms, and Dad won’t force us. I crawl up the bed and pull the comforter around myself until it’s formed a cocoon and I burrow in until only my head is visible. Dad smiles at me then sits in the middle of the bed, patting the space next to him for Xaden who climbs up.

“An old friend of mine researches dragons, and he told me about them…daggertail, swordtail, morningstartail, scorpiontail, and clubtail are the ones that everyone knows about. But my friend, he also researches feathertails, and guess what?” Dad pauses dramatically, looking at both of us.

“What? What’d he tell you?!” I look at him with wide eyes from my blanket cocoon.

“Feathertails are baby dragons. Baby dragons are too young to know which tail is best suited for them…but they’re also dragons who abhor-“

“What’s that mean?” I interject.

“Abhor is another way to say hate, little girl.” Dad chuckles quietly.

“I thought you said it’s mean to hate someone,” my voice comes out with an accusatory tone and dad laughs loudly in response.

“It is mean to hate someone, but let me finish, sweetheart.”

I squint at him then nod my head for him to continue.

“These dragons also greatly dislike violence. They prefer to resolve issues peacefully, or better yet, stay out of them altogether. No one in Navarre has ever bonded a feathertail because everyone who crosses that parapet is of the mindset of…act first, think later. They view it as weakness to not immediately kill their opponent and the dragons that don’t have an issue with violence bond these humans.”

Xaden speaks up next, “So the feathertails refuse to help in the fight against the v-“

“Is there anyone in there? Come back, Lyra!” I jolt when Violet’s hand waves in front of my face and look down at her.

“What? What do you mean?”

“I mean you’ve been in your own head for awhile, not answering anyone who talks to you, and we’re up next for presentation.”

“Who talked to me? I was just—I was thinking about a lot.” I discreetly shift my hands to get her to drop her eyes to them and when she does I sign, “I remembered something, something my dad told Xaden and I.”

She nods her head, but before she can respond the senior wingleader, Nyra, orders us into a line. Vi pushes me forward to take the spot at the front of our line of cadets and I huff out an excited breath at the realization that I’m moments away from hopefully finding a partner for life.

“Wait how am I supposed to get a good dragon if our squad’s personal version of Professor Kaori is first?! That’s so not fair,” Luca’s whinging hits my ears and I feel my eye twitch in irritation.

“Oh shut up, Luca, I for one am thankful that our Professor Kaori is cuter than the actual Professor Kaori.” Ridoc’s voice sounds directly behind me and I choke on a breath.

Thankfully, I hear Nyra bark at us to get moving before I have to think of a response. When I take the first step forward I suddenly realize that I don’t know what’s expected…hopefully I’m supposed to just walk to the other side because I didn’t hear any of the instructions while I was in my head earlier.

“Oh my gods,” I smile in excitement at the first glimpse of the dragons sitting in a line and look up at them with amazement.

“I thought we weren’t supposed to make eye contact with them. Why aren’t they torching her? All she’s doing is looking directly at them.”

I resist the urge to roll my eyes and continue looking at the wonderful creatures in front of me while I respond, “Luca, I believe that the dragons care about energy. If you come at them with cockiness and superiority they may like the energy or you may annoy the shit out of them. Are they terrifyingly powerful and capable of killing me with a single breath? Yes, but that doesn’t change the fact that I think they’re absolutely magnificent.”

An orange cocks their head at me when I look up at them and I stop in my tracks when they lower their head to be eye level with me. The golden eyes seem to look right through me, but the smile on my face couldn’t get any bigger. Oranges are the most unpredictable, so I keep myself still as this one decides what they think of me.

A hot wave of steam hits me before the orange lifts their head back up. I shift my gaze to the next dragon, a brown like Aimsir, as I resume walking.

“That was really badass, Riorson. You didn’t even flinch.” Ridoc’s compliment makes me feel warm as we near the end of the line of dragons.

“Of course she didn’t flinch, she’s looked forward to this day for as long as I’ve known her.” Vi’s voice reaches me, but before I can respond I gasp aloud.

There’s a golden dragon. While I’m watching this little dragon wrap their tail, a feathertail, around their clawless paws I feel a pull in my chest that makes it hard to breathe. I look beyond the golden dragon to see a pale blue dragon watching me. They’re almost the size of Sgaeyl and bigger than every other dragon on this field. They don’t make a move towards me, but I watch them in awe until I’ve reached the end and am standing in the canyon, waiting for the rest of the squad.

I rub the middle of my chest with my hand absentmindedly and try to ignore the urge to peek around the corner to get a glimpse of that dragon again.

It’s a couple minutes until my entire squad is in this crevice and it slowly gets louder because as more of them arrive they join in on bickering about the feathertail. I stand there listening to them while my irritation grows, looking at the ground, when I feel the ground shudder slightly under my feet. I jerk my head up and look at my squad to see every eye turned toward me.

“What are you looking at me for?” I ask with a raise of my eyebrows, rubbing my chest harder because that pull has turned into an ache.

“Don’t you…I mean…what was that…or do you think you know…what made the ground shake?” Pryor stumbles over his words and gets as red as a tomato as he looks at the space directly above me instead of at me. I feel some of my irritation fade as he talks because his anxiety is so apparent.

“I’m in here, same as you all, I won’t know what caused that until we walk back out there.” I smile softly at him then glance at everyone else. Violet is intentionally not looking at me cause she knows how I feel about arguing about trivial things. “I mean, long as you all are done bickering about a dragon. I’m not getting torched because my squadmates can’t agree to disagree and shut up.”

Sawyer has the decency to look ashamed as he nods, gesturing for me to retake my spot at the front of the line, “You’re right Lyra. We shouldn’t argue amongst ourselves when the dragons are still in hearing distance, it was foolish.”

I nod back at him then take a step outside, immediately looking at the pale blue dragon again. Their eyes find mine then drop to where my hand still rests against my chest in between my breasts, the dragon makes a soft chuffing sound when I walk too far away and I need to look elsewhere. As soon as my head turns from the blue dragon I immediately see what, or rather, who caused the ground to shudder.

When I lock eyes with them it feels like I’ve just been hit because I cannot take air in, my chest is hurting so bad and I don’t know if this is normal. Riders don’t talk about what it feels like to be chosen, are we supposed to feel like we’re in the middle of a panic attack?

It’s either Tairn or the other black dragon that remains unnamed because they’ve never chosen to bond before…whichever one it is, they’re utterly massive. They’re standing behind the line of dragons that were already present, and easily dwarfs every dragon in front of them. The only dragon I can think of that could beat this one in size is Codagh.

“Holy Gods, look at that! That’s it, everyone else go home. I found the one I want.” Tynan’s voice floats up to me and I thump my hand against my chest lightly, trying to suck in a breath.

“Please, as if you’re good enough for a black. I’ll be the one to claim him.” Luca’s bold statement makes me gasp and finally I’m able to breathe again. The dragon’s burning gaze shifts from me as soon as I can take in air. I watch with wide eyes as the dragon leans completely over the presentation line and torches Luca without a moments hesitation.

I force my muscles to lock when Pryor shrieks and starts mumbling, the black dragon glances at him then resumes their stance behind the presentation line. I look away from the charred dirt where Luca had been and don’t even attempt to keep my eyes off the black dragon.

I feel a sense of rightness settle in me as soon as we lock eyes again and I keep my eyes on theirs for as long as I possibly can. I hear shrieks behind me and know that I’ve just lost another squadmate, but I can’t look away. Eventually, I have to break eye contact or else I’d be walking down the presentation line backwards, and the moment I do the feeling of a gaping wound in my chest returns. I hear a soft chuffing sound behind me before a giant gust of wind nearly knocks me off my feet. I force my feet to keep moving, and don’t allow myself to watch the black dragon fly away.

The remainder of the day passes by as if I’m moving underwater. Vi knows there’s something wrong and won’t allow me to get more than three feet from her. She links our arms together when we exit the presentation field and steers me towards the stairs.

I can hear my squadmates freaking out about the way we lost Pryor and Luca. I can also hear them fantasizing about being the one to bond the black dragon. I force myself to tune them out and trust my sister to know what I need. I don’t know where we’re headed but she’s directing me everywhere.

The feeling in my chest started with the pale blue dragon and intensified tenfold with the black dragon. How is it possible to feel connected to two dragons? Is that even what’s happening? Do I just want to be connected to a dragon so badly that I’m imagining this feeling?

I press my fist firmly into my chest until I can feel the stinging and try to breathe normally.

What is normal now though? Was I ever breathing normally before and now that I’ve seen dragons up close I’m doomed to feel short of breath forever? I let out a soft cry and feel Violet tighten her grip on me.

“Somebody go find Xaden. Or Bodhi or Garrick. I’ll even take Imogen. I don’t care who it is, just fucking find someone and get them here. Now.” I hear multiple sets of running feet take off then feel small, gentle hands cup my cheeks, “Hang on little sister, Xade’s coming. He’ll be right here in just a moment.“

~Xaden~

My fingers tap quietly against the desk. I’m supposed to be reading this missive from Brennan to figure out how to increase alloy shipments, but all of my thoughts are on Lyra and her presentation day. My shadows have been itching to go search for her all afternoon and it’s taking everything in me to keep them in line because I need to know if she’s okay, but I’m trying not to hover.

Garrick, Bodhi, Liam, and Imogen are all noticeably quiet around me, and I realize it’s because they’re playing a game to figure out who gets the job of reassuring me. Liam evidently loses, or wins whichever way he wants to look at it, and speaks up.

“Xaden, stop freaking out. She’s been preparing for this day for over a decade. She’s probably—oh fuck,“ Liam jumps to his feet when the doors to the archives slam open and reveal a harried looking Ridoc. He makes eye contact with me and proceeds to sprint into the room. I’m on my feet, papers and books swept into my bag, and stalking towards him before he makes it even three feet in the door.

I don’t have a chance to spit out a question or read his intentions before he says, “Lyra needs you.”

Shadows explode then shoot out in different directions to find her. The scribes shriek in alarm while all the riders who were in here studying watch me carefully, like I’m a rabid beast, like I’m a danger.

Well, if someone hurt her…they’ve all seen me wield in small doses: for class and to practice fighting our “enemy” the gryphons and their fliers. No one has ever seen me wield when all I’m thinking about is my little sister.

Where is she, where is she, where is she, there!

My feet move immediately and I ignore Ridoc trying to show me where to go. I sense my people following behind me and ignore the rest of second squad as they stumble across our group, evidently every first-year in her squad that survived presentation went sprinting to find one of us when they saw something was wrong with Lyra.

I feel the presence of Aetos growing stronger in my mind and know that means he’s approaching us. I immediately look at Garrick, “Get Aetos away from me.”

“So no Riorson’s like Aetos…interesting.” Ridoc’s quiet murmur doesn’t upset me, but when I hear it I realize that I don’t want this many people near Lyra when I don’t know what’s wrong. I whirl around and actually watch as every drop of blood drains from the dark-haired cadets face.

“Thank you for coming to find me. Really. But I need to focus on her, and she won’t want all of you around her…worrying about her. You’ll see her later tonight in the bunk room and tomorrow on the threshing field.”

Matthias opens her mouth to protest and I immediately change tactics. So much for me attempting to be kind.

“After presentation, every first-year cadet is expected to return to their bunk room to rest up for the following day. Food is served in your bunk room, not the mess hall tonight. You’re all dismissed, get going.”

After throwing a glare at me, Matthias turns and stalks away. Her fellow squadmembers slowly turn and follow her until Liam is the only first-year still here. I turn an apologetic look towards him and he stares at me with utter disbelief on his face, “Oh you cannot be serious.” He snarls, taking a step closer until we’re chest to chest.

“I just spoke to you as your wingleader. Get your ass back to the bunk room, Cadet Mairi.”

“Next time Lyra has that gym all to herself I’m beating you into the ground, Wingleader Riorson, do you understand me? That’s my best friend and I don’t know what’s wrong with her.” He doesn’t budge and I debate shoving past him to get to Lyra.

“What the fuck, you two?! Lyra needs you, Xaden, and you decide to mess around? Seriously? Get your ass outside and go to your baby sister. I’ll ensure Liam gets back.” Garrick pushes his muscular arm in between us and shoves Liam back then turns to stare me down with a glint in his eye that I’ll need to analyze at a later date.

After one last look at the pissed off Liam, I push through the doors with Bodhi and Imogen. The last day of September is chilly and with the sun setting the temperature is steadily dropping. I follow my shadows through the trees and find Violet crouching in front of a panting Lyra.

“What took you so long? Shut up, I don’t want to hear it. Figure out what the fuck is wrong with her.” Violet snaps at me without looking away from my sisters frightened blue eyes which are steadily leaking tears, “She’s been rubbing her chest since we finished the first walk through presentation, and it got exponentially worse after she saw that monstrosity of a black dragon. I know she’s not scared of them so what is it?!”

Black dragon? Who-oh I know he didn’t. “Tairn was there this afternoon?” If my dragons mate decided to bond my sister I’m going to be pissed.

Sgaeyl takes a moment to respond and I can hear something in her voice I’ve never heard before, she’s impressed, “That wasn’t Tairn.”

Oh, thank Amari. But wait. “Who was it? And why can’t Lyra breathe?”

“You’ll know soon enough who it was. Tell your sister to focus on tomorrow. All that matters is getting to tomorrow, so she must endure this pain.”

“Why is she in pain?! I felt the pull for you, but it didn’t hurt like this. It was mildly annoying, but not debilitating.”

“She’ll understand tomorrow. Tell her, Xaden, tell her what I said. Also, you are wildly annoying and should be grateful I chose you.”

I push my love for her through the bond and feel it warm in response.

“Okay.” I shake myself and pull Sgaeyl’s words to the front of my mind, I walk to Lyra and sit down, leaning against the trunk of a tree. I pull her around to look at me and nearly feel my heart break in two at the terror I see in her deep blue eyes, the flecks of silver nearly swallowed up by her dilated pupils, further showing me how scared she is by this experience.

“Lyra, sweetheart, you need to breathe for me. Look at me, listen to me. Squeeze my hands. Tighter, tighter, yes just like that. Listen to what I’m about to say.”

~Lyra~

All I can feel is pain.

It feels like I’m being slowly suffocated. It feels like how it felt when my arm was being sliced into, but three hundred times worse.

I hear Violet murmuring to me, asking me what’s wrong, telling me about how she had two greens approach her today because they could smell Teine in her dragon-scale armor. When I don’t respond to any of this she just holds my hands and tells me to hold on because Xaden will be here soon.

Xaden.

My big brother will make this all better, he’ll know what’s wrong and how to fix this.

I don’t know if it’s been fifteen minutes or fifteen hours when all of a sudden a hear Violet snapping at someone.

I barely startle when another set of hands gently grab onto me and shift me to face them. It’s my big brother, I know it. He tells me to squeeze his hands tight tight tight, so I do until I feel my fingers start to burn from how tight my grip is. But anything is better than this empty ache I feel.

“ Listen to me. Do you hear me?”

I don’t answer verbally, but I squeeze my hands even more, “Okay good, Sgaeyl told me to tell you that you need to endure this pain. This will all be worth it tomorrow. Can you do this? I know you can. Come back to me, Lyra May, come back and tell me about your presentation day. You’ve been talking about this day for at least ten years. You did it baby sister, you made it.” Xaden squeezes my hands tightly and it helps bring me back some.

Any added sensation distracts me from this emptiness.

Almost as if I’d said that aloud, I hear Xaden murmur something then feel a small body press against my left side plus I feel additional hands on my back and shoulders. Finally able to take a semi-full breath again, I think back to the presentation field. “The dragons, Xade, they’re so beautiful. We’re so lucky to live in a world with them, but this ache…it hurts. Why does it hurt so bad?”

“I don’t know, baby sister. All I know is what Sgaeyl said…we need to get you and Violence into the bunk room. They’re going to be doing a sweep tonight to ensure all first-years are accounted for prior to threshing.” I immediately tense at his words, but he continues, “This is going to be one of the hardest nights of your life, but focus on getting to threshing. This feeling means you have a dragon that wants you, Lyra. Be excited and be proud of yourself.”

I nod my head then allow him and my family to pull me to my feet, but I don’t correct him on saying dragon instead of dragons. How do I even begin to explain this feeling?

Xaden’s hands twitch in mine and when I look up at him, he’s looking at me with a mixture of emotions the strongest of which is immense pride.

I move to rest my forehead against Xaden’s shoulder before I gather my strength and begin the trek to the bunk room. In the edge of my vision I see Xaden move to try and help me but is stopped by Violet’s hand against his chest and a shake of her head.

“You did what she needed, she’s got it from here. I’ve got her if she falters. We’ll see you tomorrow on the field.”

Garrick, Imogen, and Bodhi murmur goodnights, but I don’t have the energy to respond.

By the time threshing comes around the next morning, I’m holding on by a thread.

Violet is threatening all first-years that come near me with a dagger to the chest, and I’ve never been more thankful for her. She’s currently in a stare down with not only Xaden but Bodhi and Garrick because they’re trying to check on me. She looked at me to see if I wanted their company but as soon as I shook my head she got chest to chest with Xaden. Well really it’s face to chest, but somehow she’s still managing to look down on him.

I love them and I appreciate them trying to check on me, but I’m on the verge of tears and if I receive gentleness from any of them I’m going to break. This pain is so bad and all I want to do is collapse.

When we get to the threshing field I immediately feel impatient and the last tidbits of advice from Professor Kaori are not registering in my brain whatsoever.

I’m so excited for this day to finally be here, but I’m also ready to not feel like I’m inhaling knives anytime I breathe. I anticipated the pain of challenges and of having to study for hours, but I never once thought that there would be pain in the aftermath of threshing. What does it mean? Is it normal?

I’m pulled from my thoughts by Violet hugging me tight enough that I feel like my ribs are going to crack, and see that Professor Kaori has disappeared.

“I’ll see you after this, the day we’ve been waiting for is finally here.” She whispers, and I kiss the top of her head in response. Ridoc pulls me into a hug next and I smile when I notice Violet watching him as if expecting him to take advantage since I’m not at my best. When he turns to hug Vi, Rhi yanks me against her and hugs me tight. After one final good luck amongst the four of us, we head our separate ways.

I’m walking amongst the trees when it hits 9am then pause to watch the trees shudder from the sheer number of dragons landing in the open field. I hear branches crack around me as dragons move through the trees, but none of them come towards me.

I briefly wonder how I’m supposed to know which direction to go, but after about ten minutes of walking in one direction I realize that the ache is doing nothing but getting worse.

Alright then, let’s try this way.

Almost an hour later, I’m starting to think that my dragon, or dragons, are fucking with me. No less than three times has the ache started to fade but as soon as I think I’m going to see one of them I start to feel the pull to go in a different direction.

Of all dragon attitudes, of course I get the one that wants to play hide and seek.

A chuff behind me, just as I think that thought, has me freezing in place. I look around and see that I’m in a small clearing with trees surrounding it on the far side of the threshing field.

Leaves rustling in front me has me watching with bated breath while the trees shift to reveal the pale blue dragon. Our eyes meet across the clearing and I feel the ache lessen tremendously. I huff out a breath that is close to a sob then my feet are moving before I can consider if this is appropriate behavior. The dragon lowers their head as I get closer, and allows me to wrap my arms around their snout in a hug. My breath shudders and I squeeze my eyes against the tears that threaten to make an appearance; shit, I’m actually hugging a dragon and they’re letting me. Should I have shown more restraint? Everything I’ve read as well as heard from Professor Kaori says that blues are the most vicious…maybe this one is waiting until I let go to eat me as punishment for touching them? I couldn’t stop myself once I saw them though, it felt like coming home. The dragon makes a low purring sound as if to reassure me and I rub my hands against their scales to convince myself this is really happening.

A low growl from behind us has me tensing. Fuck, I completely forgot about the noise I’d heard from behind me before the blue dragon revealed themself. I pull my arms back and turn around, intending to face the opposite tree line, but instead I look up, up, up to meet the gaze of the black dragon who’s looking at me with burning golden eyes.

I press my hand against my chest and take a deep breath. The ache is completely gone and it doesn’t hurt to breathe. I’m relieved by this development, but I’m also feeling some trepidation…what does it mean to bond two dragons? Can that happen? Has this ever happened before? What if leadership forbids the bonding…can they do that?

“No. Humans have no say in what dragons can do.” I jolt at the rough, masculine voice that sounds in my head and immediately wonder which one of them that was.

The black dragon tilts their head at me and moves towards us until they’re close enough for me to touch. With wide eyes, I reach out to lay my hand on the front of the giant, black snout and take in every detail I can see. The horns are golden and look like they’re the same size as me; his wing tips are the taller than the trees around us and both are topped with a lethal looking talon.

“My name is Pantalaimon, son of Murtcuidaem and Fiaclanfuil, and descendant of the cunning Dubhmadinn line. You may call me Pan.” The black dragon, Pan, closes his eyes when I lean my head onto his muzzle next to my hand.

“Hello, Pan. I’m so happy to meet you.” The words are barely audible but he hums in response and I clench my teeth to keep from crying.

This is really happening. Isn’t it? I’m really about to bond two dragons?

“There’s no ‘about to bond’, Lyra” A quieter, distinctly feminine voice says in my head, and I turn to look at the pale blue dragon, “You’d been in pain yesterday afternoon and this morning because we chose you at threshing. You’ve been ours for longer than you even realize. My name is Rionnamara, but to everyone else I’ll be known as Rion.”

“We couldn’t speak to you yet because the Empyrean insisted that we observe the tradition of waiting to speak with you until threshing, but I asked Sgaeyl to rely a message to you.” Pan looks distinctly disgruntled by the fact that he wasn’t allowed to speak to me.

“It’s alright, she had Xaden tell me. The thought of the two of you got me through it…I’m just. I’m a little taken aback to be honest.” I look at the ground and curse my brain for overthinking.

I thought I’d need to put up a front with my dragon, and that I was less than because of my anxiety. I thought that if I wasn’t a stoic warrior like Xaden that I’d never actually bond. I didn’t know you could feel this attached to a dragon even though it’s been less than a day…

Rion makes a purring sound from behind me and I stumble a step, falling back into her chest, when she wraps her scorpiontail around herself. I’m now seated in between her front legs and feel unbelievably safe.

“We’ve seen everything in your head, little shadow. There’s nothing for you to feel ashamed of because you know your worth. We know your worth and can see how much you want to succeed. Do not start second guessing your worth now because you’re afraid of what your leadership will say. There’s nothing they can do to change it, so do not stress.” Pan lowers himself to the ground and lays his head on his taloned paws to make eye contact with me, “We will not be this…gentle…with others, but you are ours.”

“How is it possible for me to feel this much love for you both already?” I try to send that thought out towards them and they both chuff at me.

“Neither of us have ever bonded before. Every ounce of power we have is for you and only you…Pan has refused to bond in the past because no one was worthy in his eyes, and I chose you for your strength of character. The pull you feel towards us is showing that we made the correct choice.”  Rion’s answer makes me smile at them both.

We sit in silence for what could be a few minutes or a few hours, all I know is that I feel incredibly at peace and I can’t believe I’ve finally achieved my dream of bonding a dragon. Neither Pan nor Rion seem too eager to leave the quiet in this stretch of the woods, so I spend my time watching the skies as dragons takeoff flinching occasionally as someone free falls off their dragon. The thought of falling is terrifying, but hopefully I’ve strengthened my thighs enough to not be concerned about that. Pan grumbles when I think that thought, but doesn’t say anything…I hope that means one of them would catch me if I fell.

I jolt upright when Rion suddenly growls aloud and rises to her feet, flaring her wings in agitation.

“Get on, Lyra. You need to go help.” Pan says in my head after he stands up and I look at his foot then move my eyes to where I’m supposed to sit.

“Help with what?” I think as I take a multiple steps back to prepare to scale his leg. I honestly don’t know if I’m going to successfully make it up to the seat because he’s even taller than the gauntlet wall.

My massive mount shifts his leg so that there’s a slight angle and I send a “thank you” at him through the bond. After sprinting forward and using my momentum to make it up his leg, I find the seat quickly and swallow down the nervous energy that’s trying to surface.

“Hold on tight, little shadow,” Is all the warning I get before we’re airborne; I scramble for a moment to grip the pommel and squeeze my thighs as tight as I possibly can. “We’re going to help the Rion’s younger sister because she’s found herself in a predicament.”

A flash of blue in my peripheral has me turning to see Rion keeping pace with us. Pan is in the air for less than a minute, but it’s definitely the most exhilarating minute of my entire life. It feels so unbelievably freeing, and I cannot wait to be issued flight goggles so I can be able to look around at everything.

Pan circles a clearing on the opposite side of the threshing field than where we’d been and lets out a growl at what he sees. I lean as far over as I can from where I’m sitting on his back to try and see what’s going on, but he’s too damn big. As he dips towards the ground, in a moment of pure adrenaline, I crouch on his back and crawl up his shoulder to look.

Fuck.

My stomach drops as my eyes fall on a distinctive head of braided hair. She’s standing guard in front of the little, golden feathertail against Aidan, Jack, Tynan, and Oren.

“Are you prepared to jump down or do I need to land?” Pan asks, “Sgaeyl’s mate is on his way, so this clearing is about to be very crowded.”

My heart stutters for a moment at the thought of jumping, but then I see that the guys aren’t phased by the presence of the dragons. If the excited shouts and shoves against each others shoulders are saying anything…they think Pan, my Pan, is here for them.

Cocky assholes.

“Fuck it, I got this.” Just as Jack swings his sword arm back to strike at Violet I let myself drop off of Pan, landing in a crouch between my sister and the dude that’s had it out for her since parapet, and pop up with my sword raised to block his.

The shiiing of my sword sliding against his makes me want to cringe, but the look on Jack’s face makes it totally worth it.

“What the—Riorson?!” He snarls, his face beet red. He pulls his sword back, but still holds it firmly in his grip.

“Barlowe…care to explain what’s happening here?” I back up a few steps until I’m next to Violet. She’s glaring at Jack still, holding the tips of her daggers and looking like she’s going to let them fly even though he’s backed off for the moment.

“Nothing much. Just trying to rid the quadrant of the weakest links.” He sneers at me, smiling when Aidan and the others guffaw and egg him on.

Rion growls loudly and the four of them startle slightly when they notice my pale blue mount glaring at them. I turn to look at her and see that she’s sitting with the golden feathertail tucked in between her front legs.

When I’m turning back around, I see Xaden and Sgaeyl in the tree line watching this unfold, but instead of feeling relieved I force myself to look away. My big brother can’t help us right now, he’d get in major trouble as a member of senior leadership for interfering with anything that happens on the threshing field.

“Wow okay…so let me make sure I understand. It was going to take four of you to defeat the weakest? How weak are you? Your muscles are just for show then, are they Barlowe?”

“You bitch— ” the rest of Jack’s retort doesn’t register in my head because when Jack takes a step forward, Violet flings her daggers in quick succession and catches Jack in the shoulder joint for his sword arm. I block out everything else around me because all of a sudden there’s multiple sets of large hands on me, trying to twist my sword arm around my back as well as keep my left arm from successfully reaching my sheathed daggers. Oren and Tynan successfully twist my arms enough that my hand is forced to release my sword and I hear it clang against the ground.

Aidan’s face looms in front of me and I feel his dagger press against the edge of my armor, against my lower stomach. “Finally got you pinned, Princess. How’s it feel?”

Pan growls low in his chest but doesn’t move, I can feel him and Rion supporting me silently. They know I can get myself out of this, so that’s what I do.

“You needing me to be manhandled into submission by two men to have a chance at beating me isn’t impressive, Aidan.” I spit out before slamming my head forward, catching him in the nose. His shout startles Tynan and Oren enough that they loosen their grip on my arms for me to be able grab a dagger from my thigh sheath. I spin around Tynan and force him to his knees, yanking his head back by his hair and pressing my blade hard against his throat.

“Kill him, little shadow. He doesn’t deserve to live.” Pan rumbles in my head, growling aloud, but I don’t slice the dagger across his throat…yet.

Aidan is glaring at me, holding his broken nose and tilting his head to try and stop the bleeding while Oren looks back and forth between Violet and I. A shadow passes over us and whatever it is sends Aidan and Oren sprinting across the clearing to get away. A quick glance towards an injured but alive Violet shows me that Jack is no where to be found, and my hand still hesitates. I don’t want to kill him. He had no right to touch me…but the thought of taking a life feels paralyzing. Especially one of my squadmates.

“Breathe, Lyra. You don’t have to kill him. Let him go and see how he fairs with Tairn.” Rion’s gentle voice soothes the anxiety that’s forming while I try and think through this dilemma, but then I jolt as the mention of the black dragon makes it through my brain. I look up to find that I somehow missed his arrival into the clearing and see that he’s glaring down at me.

“My brother is glaring at the male under your blade, not you. Let him go to face the consequences of his actions and come here.” Pan’s steady voice further calms my anxiety and I collect myself to do what I need to.

In one fluid motion I pull my blade away, push him away from me, grab my dropped sword, and back up until I’m standing in between Pan’s front legs. He sweeps his tail around himself and I breathe deeply when his menacing morningstartail is between me and Tynan. He takes off running but doesn’t make it even a quarter of the way before he’s burnt to a crisp. I flinch and turn my face away.

A few moments later, when I hear wingbeats, I watch Xaden fly off on Sgaeyl; Violet goes to take a step towards me but flinches when she puts weight on her ankle. I lay my hand against Pan’s tail and he moves it out of my path so I can get to Vi. She reaches a hand out towards me and squeezes my hand tightly as I help support her weight but doesn’t look at me, she’s currently staring up at Tairn with a slack jaw. “He…he’s speaking… he’s speaking to me in my head! ” Violet’s awestruck voice has me beaming at her until I remember something I read awhile back.

“Pan…didn’t you say Sgaeyl’s mate was coming to this clearing?”

“I did. He’s here…talking to the tiny one.”

Before I have a chance to say anything to Vi about what I just realized, the dragons start moving.

“Come, Lyra. Leadership is getting ready to round up the unbonded cadets.” Rion says, rubbing her head against the golden dragon lovingly then taking to the air.

I watch Vi as she limps over to Tairn, who’s tilting his head at her as she bickers with him about his massive size. I chuckle under my breath, at least she has a dragon that can handle her attitude. Pan extends his leg for me to mount him again and once I’m seated he soars high up into the air. Rion flies next to him and I watch her adoringly as she moves with grace.

“You’ll fly with me next time, Lyra.” Rion murmurs and I smile at her.

“What does it mean now that Violet is bonded to Tairn? Will her and Xaden be connected? What if…Will I lose them both if something happened?”

“You will get to learn about this unique aspect in real time, little shadow. I am mated to Glane and have been hers even longer than Tairn has been bonded to Sgaeyl.” Pan’s voice informs me quietly, choosing to not answer my questions yet.

“What?! Does Glane have a rider? Who is it?” In my surprise I forget to think those words and blurt them aloud.

Before Pan can respond, Rion cuts in and sounds almost apologetic, “I am also mated, Lyra. I am only thirty, so my bond is still fresh, just over six years, but his rider is powerful. My mate’s name is Cath.”

Chapter Text

A million questions pop into my head and I need to know the answers right now, but before I can voice them we’re dipping down to land on the flight field. With the way we’re tilted I can see the two lines of dragons making room for mine as well as Tairn and the little golden dragon, who Rion informs me is named Andarna. The dragons that are already on the field lose it at the appearance of Tairn, but get even louder when they see Pan.

When we touch down I steel myself before looking over at the bleachers and immediately feel my anxiety triple. The senior leadership for Navarre’s military is here, standing on the dais, and they’re all staring at me.

“We will answer all of your questions, little shadow, but first comes the hard part. All you need to remember is that you have two dragons who have chosen you.” Pan’s words give me the confidence I need to push out of my seat. I look down over his shoulder and prepare myself to jump again when he shifts his leg to let me walk down it.

Rion curls her tail around me for a brief moment after I get my feet on the ground then pulls it away to allow me to walk towards Tairn. Violet’s ankle looked wrecked and I don’t want her screwing it up more by trying to walk on it.

Vi’s giant mount watches me approach and for a moment I get the feeling that he’s going to growl at me for being this close, but when I maintain eye contact him, he swings his head around to stare at Pan with a look I can only describe as exasperation.

”My brother is not used to humans being so bold.” Pan confirms in my head, his voice tinged with amusement.

When I reach his front leg I look to see Vi staring down at me with wide eyes, “Come on Vi, just slide down on your butt.”

She snaps her gaze to mine and opens her mouth to say something that I know would be nothing but pain-induced crankiness and cut her off before she can start, “Pan had to make his leg into a ramp for me to be able to get on and off, I nearly flew off his back because he’s so big…are you really going to try and force your already fucked up ankle to support your weight if you try and jump down here?”

Vi’s mouth clamps shut and the look on her face shows me just how much pain she’s in for a split second before she forces the pain into a box, “Okay, here I come.”

She shifts herself then slides down his leg with her eyes closed, I catch Vi under her arm just before her injured ankle can make contact with the ground and support her while she gets her good leg under her.

Without making it obvious, I hold my hand under her elbow as we walk towards the dais. She hides the limp remarkably well, as usual, and steps away completely when we join the line of first-years waiting to talk to the roll-keeper.

Vi steps up to the table, says Tairn’s name and goes to leave then whips her head around to look behind her so fast I wince. Slowly, she turns back to the roll-keeper, says another name and every member of leadership immediately loses their shit. I watch as Violet rolls with the accusations of forgery, of hoodwinking the dragons(as if that’s even possible), of lying her way through training, but as soon as I see her start to take a step back and away from her mother I step forward until I’m next to her.

“Cadet Riorson, this has nothing to do with you. Please return to your place in line.” General Sorrengail barks, not even sparing me a glance.

“I can’t do that, General. My squadmate looks uneasy around you, and I’m in charge of making sure she’s okay.” Lilith’s gaze snaps up to mine and I meet it before dropping the bomb, “And by the way General, Cadet Sorrengail is not the only one bonded to two dragons this year.”

Absolute silence meets my statement.

Lilith’s gaze moves to look behind me, likely at my two dragons, then moves back to mine. There’s an odd expression on her face but it switches to concern when we hear the thud of someone hopping off the dais.

Soft footsteps coming closer has me turning to meet the gaze of General Melgren. From the corner of my eye I see Violet and Lilith lower their heads in deference to his position, and almost every fiber of my being is telling me to follow suit and avert my gaze, to show respect to the highest member of our military…but the image of him telling Codagh to burn my father alive forces me to maintain eye contact. I refuse to yield to this man, to this coward who knows what’s really out there but still chooses to fight the wrong enemy.

His eyes harden at my blatant show of defiance and I tense when his gaze drops to my upper arm, to where my scars are clearly visible, “I see that the inability to fall in line is a familial trait. Shame.” I grit my teeth to hold back the snarl I want to let out at the obvious alluding to my Dad and how he chose to ignore orders telling him to fight the gryphons and their fliers.

General Melgren turns to look at my foster mom, “We cleared out all of the adults, but I still think it would’ve been better to have started fresh with everyone younger than thirteen, Lilith. Especially since the oldest of them caused problems less than a day after the executions.” General Melgren’s eyes flare in triumph when I can’t quite hide the flinch at his reminder of how he wanted to kill Xaden for trying to get to me all those years ago. “The older ones are showing us that they won't submit which means they won’t follow simple orders.”

Before anyone has a chance to respond I feel the ground tremble behind me and spin to see Pan and Rion blocking Codagh’s path to me.

“Oh fuck,” I breathe out. Violet’s hand finds mine and grips it like a vise, I hold onto her just as tightly with both of mine to hide the trembling in my hands.

My black and gold mount is a few feet shorter than Melgren’s all black mount, but that doesn’t stop Pan from standing at his full height. His fangs are bared and he’s glaring at Codagh, whose slitted golden eyes are staring a hole through me. His eyes flick back and forth between his rider and I, but before Codagh can do anything Rion flares her wings and growls low in her throat. Her scorpointail sways back and forth as if daring him to take a step forward.

If my dragons get hurt because I was too prideful to show this man respect…

”You are not in the wrong, little shadow, do not doubt yourself.” Pan’s voice leaves no room for debate.

I watch in shock as every rider on the field, from the seasoned generals near me to the newly threshed, slam their hands over their ears and briefly wonder what’s happening when I hear, “You will not touch our rider. She will not ever submit to the likes of you; do not mistake her participation in this quadrant as loyalty to you; her loyalty is to her people and to the dragons.”

I watch in trepidation as Codagh looks me up and down, seeming to decide how he’s going to respond, before he bows his head then takes a step back. My dragons relax their stances instantly and I take a moment to look at the other dragons on the field. With the exception of Tairn and Andarna, who’re watching their rider next to me, all of them are looking at me with what I hope is curiosity.

I look up to meet Rion’s gaze when I hear her gentle voice in my head, ”They are curious about the human that has caught not only my attention, but Pan’s. He’s had years to bond, but has always refused. They, and their riders, are wondering what’s so different about you.”

At the mention of the riders, I jolt when I see the sheer amount of eyes on me. All the marked ones are looking at me with pride and when my eyes meets Garrick’s I flush at the fire in his gaze. My eyes move to the rest of the field and I hold onto the feeling my brother’s best friend gave me because the uneasiness and open hostility on the rest of the quadrants faces, excluding my peers in second squad, make me want to disappear.

I wasn’t the only one to bond two dragons today, but the only one they’re glaring at is me. My stomach twists uncomfortably as I consider why, and my thoughts are confirmed when General Melgren takes a step closer until we’re chest to chest.

I turn my head around to look at him with my eyebrows raised, wondering where he found the audacity to approach a first-year like this because I thought an experienced general would have more control over himself; he’s barely six feet tall so it’s easy for me to maintain eye contact since I’m only an inch or two shorter than him. His face is set in a scowl as he snarls, “A traitor doesn’t deserve to bond two dragons.” My hands twitch in the death grip Violet has on them as he continues, “We will continue this conversation at a later date, Cadet Riorson. When it’s not so public and you’re not feeling so…emboldened…by your dragons. They are powerful creatures but you answer to me, Princess. Don’t forget that.”

His words are so quiet that only me and the Sorrengail’s can hear him. Lilith and Violet stiffen at the nickname, but that’s what it takes to make me flinch away from him. Two low snarls sound behind me, and all I want to do is get out of here. A tickling sensation around my calf tells me that my flinch wasn’t missed by my big brother, but even he can’t make me feel better right now.

General Melgren just called me by that godsforsaken nickname. How does he know about that day? Did Dain actually tell him about that? Or was it Colonel Aetos? Could General Melgren have been the one to push Dain into seeing me that morning knowing the truth would be revealed?

I catch myself overthinking about that day again and find myself wishing that I didn’t react so poorly to unwanted touch. It would be so much easier if I was able to just roll with it, but I can’t. I can’t accept that a friend touched me without permission, knowing I don’t like it, and he still hasn’t admitted that he did something wrong.

I’m brought out of my thoughts by Vi tugging at my arm gently and I refocus to see both generals watching me.

Lilith cocks her head at me for a moment, with something akin to protection and love in her gaze, before facing General Melgren and gesturing to the dais, “It’s almost time for my speech sir, shall we return to our places while Cadet Riorson gives her new dragons names to the roll keeper? As you know, the Empyrean already approved the bonding for both of these cadets so there’s nothing we can do to change it.”

General Melgren maintains his glare for another moment before turning and stomping over to the stairs to retake his seat. General Sorrengail looks at Violet and I briefly, “Cadet Sorrengail, I suggest you go to the medical tent for your ankle while Cadet Riorson speaks to the roll-keeper.”

The roll-keeper sits up when I turn towards her and smiles at me, seemingly oblivious to the tension still in the air. “Seeing as this is a first bonding for both of them, please tell me their color as well as their full name, Lyra.”

“The black is Pantalaimon, and the blue is Rionnamara.”

“I’ve never seen a blue with that particular color, she’s unique.”

I smile at her, “May I return to them now?” I still feel excited that I’ve bonded and that today has truly happened, but it feels muted because of my interaction with General Melgren. I want to put as much distance between leadership and myself, as soon as possible.

“Of course.” The roll-keeper smiles at me again as I turn away.

I resist the urge to look at General Melgren one last time and instead am faced with a field of riders who’re watching me walk to my dragons. I keep my head held high and walk like I’m completely fine instead of feeling like I’ve been flayed alive.

My eyes search for my dragons and I breathe easier when I see them: Pan and Rion are sitting side by side, close enough that their wings are brushing against each other. Andarna is curled up under Rion’s wing with my blue watching her little sister closely, growling at anyone who walks near them. A flash of navy blue behind the three of them has me looking to see Sgaeyl stepping away from Tairn, and I watch as she bumps her head against Rion’s lovingly.

”Is Sgaeyl your mom, Rion?” I ask as I plop down in between Pan and Rion’s front legs. I lay against the giant, black, clawed foot and briefly feel self conscious, will the other dragons or their riders judge me for being this affectionate?

He chuffs above me and settles down, curling his tail around himself so that anyone who wanted to get to me would either have to find a way over the lethal morningstartail or manage to sneak under his belly, ”No two bonds are the same, just as no two riders are the same. Sgaeyl would not allow Xaden to do this, but do you think your brother would willingly be vulnerable in the open? Dragons bond cadets who will mesh well with them. Also, Sgaeyl and Tairn raised them, but they are not their hatchlings.”

At the mention of Tairn I turn my head to see where he is and if Violet is with him, but I follow his gaze to see that she’s in the medical tent with Professor Kaori and Jack. Behind the medical tent, with a cold pack pressed against his nose, is Aidan and he’s currently glaring daggers at my sister’s back.

I immediately shuffle my feet around to push myself up to go hover outside of the medical tent because I don’t trust either of them to not hurt her even with Professor Kaori right there.

Before I can rise to my feet, Tairn swings his head around to look at me. He rumbles low in his throat and walks around to the back of the tent, forcing Aidan to scurry away to a small brown dragon. I watch with my jaw nearly on the ground as Pan’s brother tries to stick his whole head into the tent, nearly flipping it over.

Smachd squawks and moves closer to Professor Kaori with Violet flapping her hands, trying to calm everyone down. Tairn exhales and the wave of steam ruffles the loose hairs on the dragon professors head.

“My brother did that to reassure you that she’s safe.”

I huff a laugh and lean back against his leg again, ”Tell him I said thank you.”

A short while later, I stand and listen while General Sorrengail gives a speech about what it means to be a dragon rider.

”Lyra, after her speech, that is when the dragons gift our riders with a relic…people will see yours different than how we will see your relic.” Rion murmurs to me.

I turn my head to look up at her and see her watching me, her glittering white wing still tucked tight around Andarna who’s watching Violet closely, before I turn back to look at the dais.

Wait.

Her white wing?

I feel my neck muscles pull in protest when I turn my head back to look at her. Her pale blue head is tilted, watching me closely. I blink in shock when I see the underside of her wings shift in color until they’re an iridescent white.

My heart starts to beat faster as I consider what this means and what’ll happen if people know she can change colors.

Oh, gods. What if they can see it now?

Being different means getting brought in front of leadership to be studied, what if they hurt her? And gods. This means that Andarna is different too; it wouldn’t take much more to convince them to hurt Violet.

”Breathe, Lyra. No one but you and Pan can see this. I promise,” Rion shifts her scorpiontail until it’s sitting in between her and Pan, hidden from view. My eyes widen when I see her tail shift to a pure white feathertail. ”Aimsir’s rider is almost done speaking, and I need you to know that I am different.”

”You’re a feathertail?! But—I thought feathertails didn’t bond. Dad said they didn’t like bonding…”

”Feathertails don’t agree with bonding riders who will fight against the wrong enemy.” Rion pauses and I watch as her scorpiontail appears again and her wings turn back to pale blue, “We don’t agree with needless violence, but when presented with riders who know who the real enemy is…we will bond. Andarna and I are the only ones like us left in the vale. I will tell you more about my breed of dragon at a later date, but please do not tell the tiny one that Andarna is different. She’ll find out when it’s time.” Rion looks towards the dais at the same time I feel an overwhelming sense of heaviness fall in my mind. It feels like when I’m trying to practice mindfulness except a thousand times more powerful. After a few moments, the sensation lessens until I can just barely feel it.

”I will be providing your mind with a shield until we have taught you how to hold it up yourself.” Pan growls in my head and I furrow my brow at his tone, wondering why a shield is necessary. Before I have a moment to ask though, General Sorrengail is prompting the newly bonded riders to stand to receive our relics.

I rise to my feet and look around, confused on what’s expected and notice that everyone else is also looking around. I take a few steps forward and stand with my back to my bonded when Rion gently pushes me forward with her muzzle.

I have a moment to wonder what we’re waiting for when I feel intense pain on my back and startle slightly, clenching my teeth to keep from gasping aloud.

I blink then find myself looking through one of my dragons eyes, looking at myself standing there. The top half of my new relic is visible above the armor Mira gave me and it takes my breath away. The relic spanning my back is of Pan and Lyra facing each other; their side profiles showcase the size difference, horn shape, and their beautiful wings.

I blink again then I’m looking through my own eyes. I hear a whoop in the distance and look around to see the upperclassmen running towards all of the new riders.

“Lyra!” I turn just as Violet launches herself at me and I don’t hesitate to reach out and catch her in a hug.

“Careful, Vi, you’re going to break your ankle again and you just got it fixed.” I huff a laugh as I set her back on the ground.

Before she can respond, our peers on second squad and my family are surrounding us. With the excitement everyone is feeling, we’re all talking over each other as hugs are exchanged, but when I feel my big brother’s presence at my back I turn to him and tune everything else out.

“I’m so proud of you, Lyra May.” I look up at Xaden with a smile and realize why the color of Pan’s scales mean so much to me: they match my big brother’s eyes.

Black as night onyx with golden flecks.

“I bonded two dragons, Xaden! Two! Can you believe it?!” Giddy energy surges up and I can’t help the giggle of excitement which causes Xaden to chuckle and smile at me.

“Of course I can believe it—“ He stops talking and tilts his head, glancing towards Sgaeyl with a frown, “I’ll be right back, Ly.”

He’s striding away before I can respond, and I watch as he walks in between celebrating riders and their bonds. I debate following him to see what’s up, but then I hear my name.

“Lyra! You did it!” Garrick’s voice makes me smile instantly and I turn to him, throwing myself into his outstretched arms. He catches me easily and holds me tight against him, and for a moment I catch myself wondering when exactly things shifted between us.

Since the start of this year in the quadrant, I’ve hung out with all of my family, but I’ve noticed that my relationship with Garrick has been slowly morphing into something different. I find myself looking for him in the hallways, wanting to tell him everything I’m thinking, and wishing he was always around because I feel safe with him near. I’ve never felt this way before, but I’m starting to get confused because since Vi and I started hanging out and training with Imogen everyday…I’m feeling these things and more towards her. What does it mean?

Vi and I have talked in depth before about how it is for her when she thinks someone is attractive and how it usually starts with them fucking, then someone catches feelings, and then they end up dating…essentially she could have sex with someone within the first few hours of meeting them.

I, on the other hand, haven’t ever felt sexually attracted to anyone…is that what’s happening with Imogen? Does Imogen like girls? Do I even like girls? And if that is what’s happening with Imogen, then what is changing between me and Garrick?

“—Hey, are you okay? Lyra?” I’m pulled out of my thoughts and catch Garrick’s concerned hazel eyes watching me.

I smile at him, pulling away from the hug, and duck my head, “I’m okay, I’m sorry, I just got lost in my head.”

“You’ve been doing that a lot lately, you can talk to me if you need to, I am kinda smart you know.”

This makes me to laugh and I smile up at him. My breath catches and I look down when I feel him reach out to hold both of my hands in his.

I’m shocked at the sight of my hands in his and I can’t make myself look away. His large hands hold mine gently and my eyes track his thumbs as they rub the top of my hands softly. He shifts his weight and just barely squeezes my hands; I look back up at him to find him watching me with gentle eyes.

I need to tell him, I don’t know what this feeling is but I need him to know.

“Garrick, I—“

“Lyra! Something is happening and Tairn said you need to intervene.”

I jolt back from Garrick at Violet’s words, “What? Where?”

I turn in a circle and realize that Pan and Rion are no longer near me, they’re across the clearing and I can see Sgaeyl standing near them. I look at Garrick briefly in alarm before taking off at a run across the clearing. As I’m sprinting I realize that all of leadership and most of the other cadets have made their way back to the quadrant by now. Those that are left jump out of my way.

I slow down as I approach the semicircle of dragons, my steps falter and eventually stop when I notice that Pan’s tail is intertwined with an orange daggertail.

My gaze shifts to Rion who’s watching a large, red swordtail pace back and forth along the cliffs edge.

Finally I drop my gaze to the middle of the dragons: Xaden and Dain are nose to nose, snarling words at each other, looking like they’re one breath away from beating the shit out of each other.

Imogen is standing behind them, flipping a dagger and looking unbelievably bored until she meets my gaze. My stomach does a funny thing at seeing her but before I can think about it too much I feel hot air wash over me and turn to find myself face to face with the swordtail.

“Oh fuck,” I’m barely breathing, reds are the quickest to anger and this one currently looks pissed. Eye contact is also to be avoided with agitated reds, but it’s too late for that now.

”Breathe Lyra, my mate only looks grumpy because his rider spends almost all of his time trying to figure out how to make you understand that he’s sorry and didn’t intend to react the way he did when he found out the truth…”

My brow furrows at that but then my mind starts putting the pieces together and I feel my heart start to pound.

There’s no way.

There’s no way that I’ve finally gotten to bond a dragon, but I’m now attached to Dain for the rest of our lives.

In the back of my mind I can hear Xaden barking an order at Dain, telling him to get Cath away from me, but Dain refuses.

“He’s not going to hurt her. I never intended to hurt her.”

My head snaps up at that statement, but I can’t retort back.

I can’t even breathe.

My legs start to feel weak and when I drop I expect to feel the ground rise up to meet me, but instead I find myself resting against warm red scales.

Cath lets out a rumble when I lift my head to look him in the eye and he blinks at me when I lay my cheek back against his scales, trying to focus on the warmth while getting myself back together.

Rion makes a soft cooing sound, which helps calm me down further, and I find myself thinking about what she said.

”What did you mean, Rion? Why did he react that way if he didn’t really mean it?”

“Don’t try that, Riorson. You either, Tavis. He won’t hurt her, but he has no issues torching you and I’d rather not have to answer to her if my dragon kills either of you.” Dain’s voice startles me with how close it sounds, but I don’t have the strength to move away right now.

Instead of getting an answer from her, I blink and find myself watching a memory play out in my head:

”Dad! I need to go get in line, I already said bye to her, I don’t need to go again this morning. She’s probably not even awake yet.” I watch while Dain glares at Colonel Aetos for a moment before taking a sip of the hot tea his dad had set in front of him. He finishes his toast and eggs, chugs the rest of the tea then rises from the table.

“You should go on a run with her this morning, one last time for old times sake, son. I know you’re going to miss her, maybe you making the time for her this morning will make her feel special…you could learn more about her just in time for you to meet her br—I mean, just in time for her to realize she wants to be more than just friends.”

“Dad, seriously, out of all the years I’ve known her, dating is the last thing on her mind. She’s too focused on training to want that.”

Colonel Aetos turns to do something at the counter then faces his son with another glass, this time filled with cold lemonade.

“I’m not thirsty, thank you though. I’m trying to not need to pee while I cross the parapet.” Dain chuckles and goes to walk away when his dad grabs his arm, squeezing so hard his knuckles turn white.

“Just taste it, Dain, I think you’ll like it. It’s sweeter than the last time I made lemonade I promise.”

My former best friend looks at his dad like he’s lost his mind for a moment before shrugging, “Fine, but if I fall off the parapet because I have to rush to use the bathroom I’m blaming you. And this had better be sweeter, last time it was disgustingly sour.”

I can’t help but choke out a half laugh, half cry at that because the only person who hates sour things as much as me is Dain, and I’d honestly forgotten how he used to act.

Colonel Aetos watches closely as Dain tastes the lemonade and smirks when Dain can’t seem to help but listen to the need telling him to finish the glass in his hand.

I feel my heart stutter when Dain sets the glass down and looks at his dad with an empty expression on his face.

He looks broken.

“Let’s try this again, shall we? You need to go see Lyra before walking the parapet today, doesn’t that sound like a good idea?”

Dain nods his head, “Yeah, I’ll go see Lyra.”

“You’re going to learn something new about her this morning son, and you need to make sure she knows how much of a liar she is. Lyra has been lying to you, and she needs to know that’s wrong. You know her better than anyone here, son. Break her spirit.”

Something flares in Dain’s eyes at the last few words but whatever drug his dad gave him wins out and his eyes fall dark again; when he speaks this time it’s with that cold voice I hear in my nightmares, “I know how to break her spirit.”

I blink again and immediately lurch up and away from where I’d been resting against Cath’s muzzle.

“Oh!” I clamp my hands over my mouth and run away from everyone, trying to get to the bushes up against the cliff before everything in my stomach makes a reappearance.

After heaving for a good 30 seconds, I clutch my arms around myself and swallow back the sobs trying to choke me. I hear whispered arguments coming from behind me but a deep growl from Pan silences them, “What do you need, little shadow?”

I take a few minutes, trying to collect myself, before I realize that the crying just isn’t going to stop anytime soon. I blink the tears away and peer over my shoulder to see my family watching me, stuck behind Pan’s flicking morningstartail.

I look for the soft brown eyes that supported me everyday while I was pushing myself to be the best, who never pushed me to be someone I wasn’t even when I could tell he wanted more, and who only ever hurt me because he’d been tricked by his own father.

I knew he would’ve been hurt, even upset, to find out the truth…but why did it never occur to me that his reaction was extreme?

“Dain,” my voice cracks on his name and before I can even finish saying it, he’s vaulting himself over Pan’s tail and drops to his knees in front of me. His hands twitch like he wants to reach out and hold me, but he stops himself. This fact alone has me crawling forward until I’m in his lap. I wrap my arms around him and push my face into his neck and start sobbing again when I smell him, he smells the same.

“Lyra, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” When Dain’s voice breaks I reach an arm around and push his until he realizes I’m giving him permission to hold me. His strong, muscled arms close around me and instead of panic I feel calm in his embrace. “I didn’t mean to did any of it. You know that? I would—I would never hurt you like that. I didn’t mean to.” His head drops down on my shoulder and when I feel his tears drip against my skin I move a hand until it rests against the back of his head, caressing his soft curls, and try to comfort him the only way I know how without words.

~Xaden~

I watch in absolute shock while my baby sister gets comforted by the man that hurt her…something must have just occurred for her to be seeking out him for comfort instead of me.

“Wow. Such keen observation skills for a powerful dragon rider.” Sgaeyl deadpans in my head and I refrain from turning around to glare at her.

“Can somebody please explain to me what the hell just happened?” Violet snaps then glares around at all of us like this is our fault.

“Uh…Aetos was drugged by his own father and whatever he was on caused him to hurt her last year.” The weariness in Imogen’s voice causes me to look at her; nothing about this woman is ever uncertain or uneasy.

“What? How do you know?”

“That’s your question, Xaden? Seriously?” Bodhi smacks me on the back of the head and I jolt, when did he arrive?

Liam pushes his way through the others until he’s next to me and I briefly wonder, again, when he got here.

Ignoring all of us, still looking at Lyra, Imogen says, “Glane. Her and Pan are bonded. She told me what’s going on.”

“Ah. I see,” What the hell is with all of the bonded pairs this year?

I turn my eyes back to Lyra and Dain to see that they’ve both stopped crying, but are still wrapped in each other’s embrace, “Back to Colonel Aetos, what do you mean he drugged his son? Why would he do that?”

“To get to her, to make her doubt herself and hopefully break her spirit.” Imogen clenches her jaw as she finishes speaking, watching my little sister with a fierce glint in her eye. Garrick is standing next to her with his arms crossed, watching my baby sister closely.

Movement in my peripheral has me turning to see Violet pacing.

“Colonel Aetos is the reason she’s been having nightmares for a year and flinches anytime someone tries to touch her? I’ll kill him. I don’t even know what herbs he could’ve possibly combined to produce the effect it had on Dain…what if he’s doing that with other people? Has he done it before?”

~Lyra~

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” Dain’s constant stream murmured apologies break my heart, and I nearly start crying again.

“We’re okay, now. It’s okay. I forgive you, D. I’m still upset that you tried to get Vi to move to the scribes…but I forgive you for everything else.” I say softly, my throat raw from crying.

His hands tighten on me when I use his nickname for the first time in over a year before he attempts to pull back to look at me. When I make a noise of protest he relents and pulls me against him again, “I don’t want to let you go either, but we really need to get you, Violet, and Mairi inside before they try saying you don’t get a private room.”

I ignore everything he said, but Vi’s name has me turning to look for her. I see her pacing around behind the rest of my family, muttering to herself about Colonel Aetos.

“Vi?” She turns to look at me immediately and walks towards Pan’s tail, the closer she gets the less and less I see of her until she’s completely hidden behind the giant black and gold tail.

I look up at Pan and blink at him, he understands what I want because the next moment his tail is being lifted out of my family’s way.

Xaden is the first one to reach us, and I know it’s Xaden by the way Dain stiffens underneath me and I can see shadows starting to creep towards us.

I squeeze Dain tightly for a moment before letting go and standing to face my big brother, “You are both going to have to learn to get along now, you know that right?” I ask as I step into Xaden’s arms and lay my head against his chest.

“Uh huh, we’ll get right on that.” He shakes his head slightly as he holds me close.

Chapter Text

A shriek followed by a giggle outside my newly assigned dorm room startles me from my meditation and I groan quietly. I had just gotten my brain to quiet down enough to where I felt like I was in control again.

Standing up to Dain about trying to convince Violet to go to the scribes quadrant in the tunnel before the gauntlet and not showing Melgren the respect he’s come to expect on the flight field after threshing were both the right calls, but if I had been feeling more like myself I definitely would have gone about it in a more respectful manner. Once I realized how off kilter I’d been acting, I decided to meditate in the quiet of my private room.

At least I know that my squadmates are stress free and celebrating their success at threshing. Sawyer attempted to sneak into Rhi’s room so that none of us would see him, but when I was coming back from showering I saw him go into her room.

Violet has barricaded herself in her room for some reason, and I think it has to do with the guy she’s developed feelings for. She’s been trying to keep it from me but she forgets that I know her better than she knows herself sometimes, and this is how she acts when she likes a guy that she deems out of her league.

When Vi first realized that she liked Halden she refused to speak it aloud and instead chose to overthink it until he approached her and asked her out. She’s been extra jumpy anytime my family is around us so I definitely think it’s one of them…when I brought it up to her and told her to just go for it she choked on her own spit then pretended like she didn’t know what I was talking about.

I hope she doesn’t think Bodhi is cute because he has his eyes on someone else, I’ve seen the way my cousin has been watching Ridoc and will be surprised if they haven’t slept together by the end of the year. Violet would eat Liam alive and he’d be totally fine with it, but I can’t picture my gentle best friend with the spitfire that is my sister.

Violet needs someone just as stubborn as she is who isn’t afraid to go blow for blow, but also someone who realizes that the walls she keeps up around herself are supposed to be climbed. I frown at the wave of…something that flows through me when I realize that Garrick could easily fall under that category. I really hope she hasn’t found herself interested in Garrick because I’m interested in him.

From what I’ve read in books and heard from Violet and Mira, the feelings I have for him and Imogen are attraction. I’ve always enjoyed being around Garrick, but recently it’s changed to where I’m curious about what it’d feel like to cuddle with him every night and I want to know every little thought that goes through his head. The first impression I had of Imogen wasn’t a good one, but since I’ve gotten to know her and learned about who she lost at the end of the rebellion…I’ve realized that Imogen fights hard and loves even harder. Our gazes have started to linger on each other, she makes it a point to ensure that I’ve eaten every night after training, and she looks at me like I’m something precious. My stomach clenches when I realize that someone else also looks at me like I’m treasured, and he has looked at me this way for years. My attraction towards Dain is starting to make a reappearance now that I know he didn’t intend to hurt me and I don’t know how to feel.

How does one even begin to explain an attachment to three different people?! I think it’ll be easier to simply pretend that I don’t like anyone.

I blink, trying to decipher my feelings, as I realize that I’ve noticed Xaden and Violet sharing glances. Nothing as scandalous as the looks between Imogen and I, but fleeting glances as if they share a secret.

How would I feel if my blood brother and my chosen sister dated?

What if they fell in love?

Or Gods, what if they dated and then broke up?

I would not want to be around either of them if that happened.

I swipe my hand down my face as I roll over in bed, groaning when I realize that my big brother is absolutely who Violet is interested in. He’s not afraid to go toe to toe with her, I’ve seen it with my own eyes over a dozen times in the sparring gym when I’m forcing her to practice with me. He doesn’t underestimate her and hasn’t since I fussed at him on conscription day; when she makes self-deprecating comments instead of saying something kind to her like I do, he irritates the shit out of her.

I don’t think I’d care if they started dating, but I will give them both hell if they try to hide it from me. I shudder when I realize that her room is directly across from mine and hope I never hear anything that I don’t want to…

Room locations are assigned based on squad assignments and my squad happened to be lucky enough to get the stretch of rooms that are tucked away from the chaos near the main corridor. Rooming near our squadmates is supposed to encourage friendships and build up the bonds between us so that we learn to move as a unit.

Violet and I have been attached at the hip for years now, so I’m not worried about needing to learn how she thinks. Rhiannon is proving herself to be a badass, so it’s been easy to spar and workout with her as well as getting to know her better. She’s actually very similar to me in the way that we both prefer to be sparring and practicing with weapons instead of being in the classroom. Violet actually left us to our own devices a couple weeks ago after we’d asked her to help us study because we wouldn’t stop messing around; Vi scolded us then questioned why she was cursed to have not one but two best friends who don’t see the magic of books. I promptly protested and said that I loved reading books for fun, not for school. Rhi chose that time to chime in, saying that she didn’t like reading either way and that if there was a way to become a rider without the bookwork she absolutely would do it.

The look Vi had given us could’ve rivaled dragon fire.

Sawyer is similar to Violet and enjoys reading no matter whether it be for school or enjoyment. He can often be found sitting in the archives studying with Violet. Sawyer is a repeat from last year which means he’s an extremely powerful fighter in not only hand-to-hand combat, but with nearly all of the weapons. He’s been somewhat standoffish outside of studying with Vi, but I’m hoping that he’ll let us in more now that we’re past threshing and we all successfully bonded.

Ridoc, on the complete opposite hand, has done nothing but get to know us and is quickly becoming one of my close friends. He’s a shameless flirt and is in a different bed every morning; he’s asked me once if I wanted his company overnight and pretended to be offended when I declined, but didn’t let my declination turn our friendship awkward. His inability to think before he speaks has gotten us into trouble on numerous occasions, most recently was in our history class. Professor Lockhart was teaching us about the rocky relationship between fliers and riders and he unfortunately heard Ridoc when he started wondering aloud if our professor had a rocky relationship history because of his cocky attitude. I laughed but managed to turn it into a cough while Professor Lockhart gave Ridoc a punishment in the form of cleaning and organizing his office. Ridoc is an inch or two shorter than I am, but he’s been gaining more muscle over the past couple of months and is slowly becoming more of an opponent for me in sparring.

The professors have been hinting about a change in curriculum that will test the strength of our bond as a squad and push us to the limits; Xaden and the other wingleaders have been kept out of the loop so my big brother isn’t even able to give me a hint at what’s changing.

With the wide range of skills we have I’m fairly confident that we will succeed in anything. Even though we have no giants in our squad like Liam, Jack, or Aidan…between me, Rhi, Ridoc, and Sawyer we’ll be able to handle anything physically while Sawyer and Vi can deal with anything book related.

Rion huffs quietly in my head, amused at my lack of excitement about bookwork.

I smile to myself at the steady presence of Rion and Pan in my head because I can’t believe threshing actually happened and that I’m actually bonded to two dragons. I’m exactly who I was yesterday, but their bond with me is unbelievably grounding. I can feel their power simmering under my skin and in the next couple of days I plan on practicing wards from the book that Auntie May left me. She knew my plan to join the quadrant and gifted it to me on my twelfth birthday.

Even though it’s against the codex to harm another rider in their sleep, I don’t want any of the unbondeds trying to hurt Vi or myself, so warding our doorways is my first goal. As much as I would like to think the best of my peers, I know that the unbondeds are going to be gunning for Vi and I now that they know that there are two blacks willing to bond…not to mention Rion and Andarna. They don’t know that they’re different, all my peers see is that there’s a fully-grown blue and a semi-grown golden willing to bond.

Pan growls at my thoughts and at the idea that I feel the need to protect myself and Vi by putting wards up on our doorway, but doesn’t comment.

After realizing I’ve been staring off into space and thinking instead of meditating I exhale all of my air and prepare for the breathing exercises.

Breathing in and out deeply, I think of the visual of the Riorson House library that I always have in mind when I’m compartmentalizing my stress and anxiety by filing them away in books or shoving them into the drawers to deal with later.

I lurch upright in bed when I notice two new fixtures in my mental library standing side by side: two antique china cabinets, one black and gold while the other is an iridescent white with blue accents. Moving closer to get a better look, I notice that instead of there being a back panel like there would be in a normal china cabinet, it’s completely open with wisps of something that looks like smoke floating around behind the glass.

Trying to understand what I’m seeing, I move even closer and reach out to touch the handle of one of glass doors of the black china cabinet, but when I make contact with the antique handle I immediately jerk my hand back, yelping at the ungodly amount of power I feel. Pan rumbles quietly in my head and I get the sense that he wants me to continue exploring but to use caution with his magic until I can learn how to handle it.

I take a small step back, looking at the china cabinets with a new sense of respect now that I realize what’s behind them. The smoky substance I can see floating around in Pan’s cabinet is black with flecks of gold shimmering; I’m eager to know what it’ll feel like after I manifest my signet.

My gaze shifts to Rion’s cabinet and I immediately feel the urge to reach out again, I don’t stop myself from touching but do so with more caution than I had when reaching out to touch Pan’s. My fingertips brush against the antique handle on one of the doors and instead of feeling the jolt from before, Rion’s feels like how it does when I’m standing outside in a warm, summer rain. I press my hand fully against the handle and notice that the longer I’m in contact with Rion’s cabinet the more the feeling builds…what was a summer shower now feels like a thunderstorm. I keep my hand against it for another moment until the feeling starts to resemble a hurricane then finally pull my hand away. The smoke I can see through Rion’s glass is shimmering, as if there’s glitter floating everywhere.

I have been bonded to my dragons for less than a day, but the feelings I got after touching both of their china cabinets fit them perfectly.

My eyes blink open slowly and I stretch my arms and legs out, I’m not sure how long I was in my head but it had to have been for longer than a few minutes because I feel stiff. The sky outside my window is still pitch black, but my skin is itching to be near my dragons. I don’t know what is or isn’t normal, but every single part of my being is telling me to be near them…they sleep in the Vale though and humans aren’t allowed in the Vale.

Rion perks up in my head as I debate going to the gym just to get the jittery feeling to pass since I can’t go to her and Pan, “Who told you humans weren’t allowed in the Vale? Pan and I never said that.”

“I—I mean, everyone knows that. It’s an unspoken rule that humans can’t go to the Vale…”

”Maybe other dragons haven’t ever wanted to invite their humans to the vale, but you are ours. You may enter the vale to come to us anytime you wish, none of my kind will harm you.”

Pan doesn’t respond with words but growls fiercely, alluding to how he’d respond if one of them did try to harm me.

First-years still have a curfew we need to abide by but the fear of being caught is not even on my mind now that I know Pan and Rion will allow me to be with them overnight. I jump out of bed then pause, should I wear my pajamas or should I change into my clothes for tomorrow? I start moving to my armoire once I decide to simply wear one of my new flight jackets over my pajamas and to change my sleep shorts into sleep pants.

Threshing happened on the last day of the week this year which means that tomorrow and the next day are rest days. I don’t anticipate anyone needing me first thing in the morning, so I plan on staying with Pan and Rion until I get hungry.

”I will meet you near the river shortly.”  Rion says.

”You’re both sure this won’t get you into trouble with the heads of your den? Or with the Empyrean?” I cringe because I know they don’t like me second guessing myself, or them, but I have to ask.

“I am the head of my den—“

”And Codagh will not harm you. He knows what will happen if he tries.”

I shut the door quietly behind me and focus on getting downstairs without interference. When I get to the passageway that’ll lead me to Rion I take a moment to respond to Pan, ”Do you mean what happened earlier? With how you and Rion stood up to him?”

”Yes, because dragons are supposed to be protective of their riders. To choose a human means that you’re willing to kill for them. If the bond is strong enough between dragon and rider…you’ll die with them.” Pan’s voice gets rougher at the end and I have to blink back the sudden tears that are trying to escape. How Amari has blessed me to give me these dragons as my own, “Additionally, Codagh now knows that you are protected not only by Cath and Glane because of their mating bonds, but you are evidently of vital importance to Tairn and Sgaeyl’s riders…important enough that my brother and his mate told Codagh you are under their protection as well…”

”That has never happened before, so please Lyra, believe us when we say you are as vitally important to us as we are to you. You are who we chose.”

A few tears slide down my cheeks, ”Is it too soon to say that I love you?”

Neither of them respond but immense warmth hits me down each bond; I take a moment then shake myself off.

I walk through the tall grass and can hear the river in the distance but as I continue getting closer to the rushing water I realize that I’m hearing more than just that…are those voices?

Using the light from the moon, I peek through the trees and feel my stomach drop. It’s all of the marked ones, literally all of them…except me. I push down the initial wave of hurt that I feel because I don’t know what they’re discussing, and Xaden wouldn’t knowingly keep me out of anything. I know I should keep moving towards Rion, but part of me so badly wants to know what they’re talking about and I feel the urge to eavesdrop.

”I am here, Lyra, do you want me to listen for you? None of them can see me, not even your brothers shadows.” I feel a warm gust behind my back but when I turn around all I see is a shimmery outline, “We will discuss my powers later, would you like me to listen?”

I jolt slightly when I realize the shimmery outline is Rion but ultimately ask her to listen in. Almost immediately after that I feel her open her senses up to me: I can see through her eyes and hear what’s being said.

“—we need to be careful. The more of us that leave on the weekends, the more likely it is that leadership will get suspicious.” Bodhi has the long-suffering tone of someone who’s said this exact point at least a hundred times; it’s the same tone he’d get when we were little and I’d ask him to come play with me for the fifth day in a row. Xaden and Garrick would tease me when I asked, but Bodhi always agreed even when he didn’t want to.

“Leadership is too busy looking at that damn Sorrengail and—“ Audrey, a first-year in third wing, starts in an ugly tone but gets cut off by Garrick.

“I’d be very careful with the words you’re about to have come out of your mouth. You may have successfully bonded a dragon, but you’re still just a first-year.”

If anything, this pisses her off more, “No, seriously Xaden, where is she? Why is she never at these meetings? Does she not care about the true fight? How about I go up to her room right now and wake her to tell her about Are—”

Meetings? As in more than one? What are they meeting for? Why the hell haven’t I been involved? 

Shadows pool around Audrey and she cuts her rant off mid-word. My big brother steps into the shadows with her and I get a glimpse of the Xaden that managed to become a wingleader even with all odds stacked against him, the Xaden that made Sgaeyl choose him.

“Have you been listening to me? I say the same thing every. single. time. Lyra will not know about any of this until I know she is safe. There are members of the quadrant who can read memories with a single touch, others who can erase them with a single touch, I’ve heard of a colonel who can sense your weaknesses to use them to torture you…General Melgren can fucking see the future. Lyra is not to know about home or the weapons shipments or any of this until I know she’s safe.” He takes a step forward until Audrey is having to tilt her head back to be able to keep him in her sights, “We all saw it today, how she is a magnet for General fucking Melgren. What happens to her when he finds out she knows what we’ve been up to? He’s begging for a reason to take her out, because if she dies we all die. She’s a threat to him right now because her and Violet are set up to be the strongest riders of our generation and guess what? They’re closer to each other than sisters; take out one and the other will follow. If any of you tell Lyra what we’re doing and put her in more danger…I will tear you apart.”

”Sgaeyl’s rider was right to be worried before you bonded us, but your mind is protected now.” Pan comments and I blink, ready to see and hear from my own body. I lean back and feel Rion press her snout against me, I turn to her and watch as she solidifies in front of me. Without wasting another breath, I climb up onto her back and hold onto the pommel as she takes to the air.

I don’t understand what the hell I just heard, but my family is obviously keeping something from me. I don’t even care that I left before they were done with their meet-up because the pissed part of me is all about crashing their secret meeting. The logical side of me, however, knows that asking Xaden privately what’s going on will get me the most answers. If I interrupted them he’d go on the offensive and I don’t have the patience tonight to argue with him in front of an audience. Xade and I didn’t argued much as kids and we haven’t fought since we reunited earlier this school year, but when we did fight…it was ugly. He’s always stubborn and assumes he’s in the right but when there’s something that I feel strongly enough about, I’m just as stubborn as him. I’m hoping that this won’t turn into an argument, but since Xaden is clearly concerned about my safety he’s liable to argue with me about whether I should know the truth.

”Little shadow, pay attention. You’re about to enter the Vale for the first time.” Pan’s voice interrupts my thoughts gently and I sit up straighter while Rion allows me to see through her eyes again. I cannot wait to see my dragons home in the sunlight because even in the moonlight the beauty is breathtaking.

The Vale is a giant valley surrounded on all sides by hills and mountains, I can see a waterfall cascading down into a river that runs through the entire valley as far I can see. Lush patches of grass and wildflowers cover every inch of the Vale, and there’s more than a few clusters of towering trees. All along the cliff-face are gaping holes in the rock which I assume lead to where the dragons sleep because the only dragon I see is the one I’m currently sitting on.

Rion and Pan keep up a commentary in my head as I look around at everything.

”The woods are where the adolescents play and learn how to maneuver through the trees so that they don’t just crash through them during threshing.”

”The soft grass is perfect for new hatchlings. Andarna loved rolling around on the grass anytime I changed the nest for her. Even now that she’s grown a bit, when we change the nest she’s the first one rooting around in the fresh grass.”

”While we don’t eat them too often, the river has all sorts of fish and they are a nice treat every few years…it’s too little food for the amount of effort it takes.”

”The meadow is where the unbondeds spend every waking moment, sunning themselves and relaxing. Those of us who are bonded will use the meadow to bask in the sun anytime we’re not with our human.”

”The caves you see all around the Vale are the dens where we sleep. Kin share a den, and those who wish to sleep without kin or who don’t have any share a cave with each other…unless they’re the head of their den. Codagh, for example, has his own cave.”

Rion tilts her wings and flies us directly into a cave near a huge patch of flowers. I blink as she lands and I can see normally again.

I tilt my head all the way back and nearly fall off of Rion with how far I lean around to look at the top of the cave. There’s crystals glinting all over the walls and along the top of their den, it’s spectacular.

Once I’ve put my eyeballs back into my head, Rion takes a few steps forward then pauses at what looks like a break in the ground; I jump off of her back and see that there’s a worn path that leads down into the crater-like nest. I look up at Rion for reassurance, feeling like I’m intruding in their safe place, when Pan’s head pops up out of the mass of shimmering scales. If a dragon could look stern, he’s absolutely scolding me for allowing my anxiety to mess with my head.

While we walk down the path I take a look at who else is in the nest: Tairn’s sleeping form is wrapped around Sgaeyl’s and I startle slightly when I notice her golden eyes are open and watching me. Unable to help myself, I smile at her and wave. I really hope she doesn’t tell Xaden I’m here.

Pan is lying with his back pressed against the orange form of Glane, who is sprawled out on her side fast asleep. My black mount is watching me closely as if assessing whether or not I’m going to allow my anxiety to flare again.

The smallest dragon in their nest is lying on her back, wings spread wide, with her clawless paws kneading the open air. As we near her, Andarna rolls over and starts kneading the ruby-like scales on Cath’s side. Rion’s mate has his head lifted up and is watching us as we approach, and I fight the urge to pause my steps when he turns his burning golden eyes to mine.

“Hi, Cath.” He tilts his head and blinks, as if debating something.

”He says ‘hello, gentle one.’” Rion murmurs as she settles down on Andarna’s other side, “Go sleep near Pan, Lyra. Andarna is likely to try and roll on you in her sleep since she doesn’t know you’re here. You are safe here, so don’t be afraid to relax. You need rest to be able to train and learn; we have much to talk about tomorrow.”

I move to Pan and wonder where he wants me when he shifts his front legs closer together and lifts the end of his tail up, inviting me to sleep in the open space between his side and tail. I hurry underneath it and watch as he lowers his tail back down; I sit down, leaning against his side, and pull my shoes off. After they’re set to the side, I pull my flight jacket off to use it as a blanket and plop down on my side with my head resting on the soft grass that lays on the bottom of the nest.

I take a deep breath and smile to myself as I fall asleep nearly instantly; the feeling of utter safety I feel sleeping amidst these dragons is unlike anything I’d ever imagined.

~Xaden~

“Aetos, I swear, I don’t care that my little sister forgives you now…if you try to read her thoughts without permission I will kill you. If she ever comes to me crying because of something you did, whether you were drugged or not, I will kill you. If you look at her wrong, I will kill you. Do you understand?”

Instead of cowering away like I would’ve expected him to do, Aetos stands taller and comes towards me until we’re chest to chest.

“I will hold you to that, Riorson.” Aetos’ voice is harsh and I find myself gaining a tiny amount of respect for him, “Cath is the one that found that memory buried away in my brain and was able to show me what I did to her. I’m disgusted and if I knew I wouldn’t get arrested I’d go and kill him right now. We can’t kill him yet though. We need to find out who, if anyone, told my father to do this. We also need to find out why they wanted to harm her.”

His shields are good but even without my second signet, I can feel his disgust about what happened. His shields falter for a moment and immediately, I can sense how he feels towards my baby sister and my heart stutters when I realize the depth of his feelings: he cares for her with every part of himself and has held his feelings back because of how she is. He never told her how he felt because he knew that she was funny about getting close to people.

My hands clench into fists at my sides and anger flows through me; Lyra is innocent and doesn’t know anything about the weapons trading with the fliers or about Aretia. When this happened between her and Aetos she definitely didn’t know anything, so why did they target her?

A scoff behind us makes me take a step back and I turn to look at my family.

“It’s obvious, isn’t it? It’s because she’s Lyra. Not only is she the daughter of Fen Riorson, but she’s the brother to the first marked one who successfully bonded. And not just bonded, you bonded Sgaeyl, Xaden. You bonded a blue who would burn the quadrant down if she felt so inclined.” Imogen’s words cause Sgaeyl to growl in agreement and I know she’s right.

Garrick chimes in with another piece of information that makes my blood run cold “Not to mention that if she had gotten spooked enough by what Aetos did to her and she chose not to cross the parapet…that would break the deal and they’d get to kill all of us.”

After he says it, I know they’re right. It’s crossed my mind before about them trying to find ways to cause her to break the deal she made with General Sorrengail, but I never thought they’d hold her down. I turn away from all of them and close my eyes, resting my head against the door of my room.

Lyra has always been gentle. She’s always been finicky about who she wants to touch her…I’ll never forget how Dad punched Viscount Tecarus and sent him through a window at a dinner party once when we were younger because he tried to force Lyra to hug him. Nothing untoward ever happened to her growing up, she just really doesn’t like people she doesn’t know touching her and she’s picky about who she gives her affection to.

The fact that Aetos knew about this and respected her wishes only to have his father force him to betray her trust makes me livid. I want to burn him alive, have Brennan heal him, then burn him again until he feels a quarter of the pain she must’ve felt.

I take a few deep breaths to calm down before turning back around to face Aetos, Garrick, Liam, Imogen, and Bodhi.

“Do you want to join a revolution, Aetos?”

His eyes widen for a split second before he jerks his head down in a nod of affirmation.

~~~

Hours later, after we’ve explained everything, the venin and wyvern, the rebellion, the relics on our arms, the deal Lyra made, and the weapons we’re giving to the fliers…Dain looks savage.

He stopped asking questions and listened in silence after I allowed him to view the memory of Lyra making the deal while being held down by General Melgren. With every new memory he viewed the more his eyes sharpened until I finally got a glimpse of why he was chosen by a red. Cath must’ve been able to see how he can use his emotions to fight better instead of being overwhelmed by them.

~Lyra~

The sound and feeling of something snuffling around my feet pulls me from slumber. I stretch and burrow further down into the soft…blankets?

Blankets aren’t supposed to poke me in the ear.

The realization that it wasn’t a dream, that I actually met with Rion and came to the Vale, has me sitting up fast. I wince when my head collides with something that resembles a brick wall.

“Ow! What the—” I mutter as I press my hand into my forehead, eyes still closed. When I feel a soft breath against my face I open my eyes and see what I headbutted: I’m face to face with Andarna.

We are literally touching noses.

Her golden scales are glinting in the sunlight coming in through the giant mouth of the cave and she looks absolutely ecstatic to have found me here.

Once she sees that I’m awake she snuffles around my legs some more then grabs my boots in her teeth and tosses them at me.

“Okay, okay, hang on, Andarna.” I pull my shoes on quickly and then slide my arms into my flight jacket.

”We are right outside the cave, little shadow. The golden one snuck away from us…she’s been trying to get to you for hours.”

”Hours?! How long was I asleep?” Even though I don’t expect anyone to be looking for me, the anxiety of being caught here is enough to make my stomach clench.

Pan growls quietly in my head, “You have been sleeping terribly for at least a year, you needed the rest.”

”But—“

”You will tell your anxiety that you are safe and you will stop overthinking. You cannot be caught here because no other humans come here; the shadow wielder and the tiny one have already been informed that you were safe and are currently arguing with their bonded about knowing exactly where you are, but they will be fine. Rion and I get your attention today.”

I huff quietly as I follow a prancing Andarna out into the sunlight and I see that it’s at least past midday with how high the sun is.

I have mixed feelings this morning about how I feel in regards to Pan reminding me that I am in control of my anxiety and not the other way around because I’ve barely been awake for five minutes, so I don’t respond to him.

”I can feel your affection for me through the irritation, little shadow, you are not unlike Glane first thing in the morning. She once tried to bite a hole in my wing because I ate the particular piece of lamb she had been wanting.”

My laugh echoes quietly around me as Andarna and I get to where her kin are basking in the sunlight. I take a moment to look at the six of them, an array of colors, lying in the field of flowers near their den and feel in awe that this is really my life.

The Vale is even more gorgeous in the sunlight, it looks like something out of a fairytale or a painting.

There are constant flashes of color as dragons fly around; I feel immense relief when I realize that they see me but give no indication they’re upset that I’m here…aka I haven’t been burned alive. Pan scoffs at the idea that I think one of them would hurt me, but it’s taking me a moment to accept that they’re really okay with me being here. This goes against everything I’ve ever read about dragons.

”How many times must I say to trust us and not the human books? They are lying to you.” Pan grumbles.

”At least once more then I’ll believe you.”

In sync, enough so that I think they counted down, Pan and Rion say, ”Believe us when we tell you something, anything you’ve read in a book is not to be trusted. All humans lie, but especially the scribes. All of them but one chose to stand up for what was right by trying to record the truth and he was killed.”

My knee-jerk reaction is to argue with them but I take a moment to think about it: humans are constantly trying to write themselves as if they’re above the dragons, but the dragons are who give us our magic. It’s clearly written in the books that the dragons will only bond the strongest and the most violent, but I am a clear violation to that “fact”. I’m strong in certain aspects, but I don’t see myself as particularly violent because I wait for my opponent to give me a reason. My stomach drops when I realize I’ve allowed to books to trick me into becoming a soldier to fight the wrong enemy. Hand to hand combat is beneficial to keep riders physically fit so we can move quickly, but fighting a venin with hand to hand? It could work for maybe a moment, but the second they reach towards the ground to draw from the source…anyone close enough to fight hand to hand is dead.

”What is the point? Why do dragons continue to bond humans that are being ordered to fight the wrong enemy?”

”That’s a good question. All Rion and I can think is that they’re hoping that when the truth publicly comes out that their rider will help defeat them—“

”Or the dragon doesn’t care about fighting the venin as long as they’re here at Basgiath, behind the wards.” I whip my head around to look at Rion because this is the first time I’ve heard her sound angry.

”You say that like you haven’t always been here, safe behind the wards.”

Before she can respond Pan stretches from his sprawled out position in the middle of the flowers then sits up, I smile when I see a stray flower caught in between one of his horns and ear. He flicks his ear and I watch as the flower goes flying away from us.

”This Vale has not always been our home. I came here after Glane decided it was time to start looking for a rider. It took her years to finally decide on the pink-haired one. After Sgaeyl bonded the shadow wielder and she told us of how he knew the truth…it gave those of us who want to eventually go back home hope.”

My ears catch on the words ‘this vale’, but before I can ask for him to clarify Rion is speaking.

”This has only been my home for a few years; I never wanted to bond, but then I heard about a hopeful rider candidate who knew the truth and wasn’t afraid to sacrifice herself for family…we know what needs to be done to protect our home and the lands surrounding it, but it’s only achievable with a rider or two who aren’t afraid to go against leadership.”

”But…Xaden isn’t afraid to go against leadership. You heard him last night, he and the other marked ones are doing something that could get all of us killed if leadership found out.”

”That’s true, but you also know that your brother is more like a typical rider. He wouldn’t hesitate to kill someone in his way nor would he blink before killing someone who dared injure you.” Rion blinks at me and I can’t look away from her intense gaze, “Would you kill someone threatening your brother if there was another way to disarm them while also keeping him safe?”

”No, I’d want to go the nonlethal route…so would Vi.”

Pan rumbles quietly and exchanges a glance with Tairn, ”Precisely why the tiny one also bonded two dragons.”

”But aren’t I just as guilty because I would kill someone if they gave me no other choice—“

”No.” Rion looks at Andarna, who’s currently rolling around in a patch of bright pink flowers, with a fond expression, “I abhor violence, but even I must accept that there are instances where it is necessary. Those cadets from threshing are a prime example, I would have killed them myself had Tairn not already been on his way because they were threatening my baby sister.”

”Why did you four decide to bond the same humans? I understand that we are unique in how we think and act, but…why?”

”Andarna asked if she could observe presentation and threshing. I had no issues because I was going to be on the field already with you; I didn’t realize she had her sights set on Violet already. Tairn sees Andarna and myself as his so he took personal offense to the cadets threatening her; as for him bonding her? I can’t give an exact answer, but I assume he saw something in her.”

”Tairn and I value strength beyond physicality because it’s going to take mental strength and the willingness to put family above everything else to secure the wards around our home and to keep them infallible to our enemy.”

”It’s possible to do that? To actually be able to keep the venin out?”

”Yes, but we will tell you more about that later.” Pan settles down and he reminds me of a giant panther with the way his clawed paws are tucked under his chest, “Rion and I are going to guide you through your next meditation session. You found our bonds with you, but there’s something you missed.”

”We know you’re getting hungry, plus your family is proving impatient, so we will take you back shortly.” Rion sits behind me then crouches so that I’m sitting under her, I lean back into her chest and close my eyes.

After a few deep breaths I’m calm and picture my mental Riorson House library, I feel a rush of excitement when I see the china cabinets, the physical representation of my dragon’s powers, and wonder what I missed.

I walk towards them and immediately see it: tucked in the open space between the two giant china cabinets are two small curio cabinets. Less than half the size of the china cabinets and partially hidden in the shadows, I observe them for a moment.

They both have double glass doors and a single drawer along the underside of the doors; I crouch down and see that the drawers on each are cracked open but I feel hesitant about reaching out to pull them open all the way.

There’s red smoke flitting around inside the white curio and orange smoke in the black one…oh. I feel Pan and Rion nudging me gently to reach out to touch like I did with their cabinets, but I find myself hesitating.

These aren’t my dragons but they still have a connection to my head. Pan rumbles quietly and pushes me to further contemplate that thought…oh fuck.

Imogen and Dain…I have a connection to each of them…through our dragons.

I blink and sit up, staring between my dragons, “I don’t want them in my head. I don’t—I mean, I like them both, but in my head? I don’t even want to be in my head half the time.”

Pan rumbles again while Rion shuffles behind me, ”I have provided your mind with the shield to put you at ease and protect you; they both have mind signets and are very powerful. Leadership has been training them both, even though Glane’s rider is a marked one, because of what they could do to further Navarre’s control.”

”We know you don’t like people invading your space, we will teach you how to protect your mind. It will be draining for the first few days, but eventually it will be as easy as breathing.”

”Neither of our mates riders would intentionally read your thoughts, but since they are both blessed with mind signets and a connection to your brain it wouldn’t be difficult at all for you to accidentally send them something.”

”Great. Do they know this is there yet?”

”Why don’t you ask Cath and Glane yourself?”

I grumble quietly and drop my head into my hands before going back to my mental Riorson House library.

Who first?

Who feels less intimidating?

I reach out to touch the handle of Cath’s cabinet and feel immediate warmth, similar to how Rion’s felt, but without the steady feeling of it getting stronger.

I let go his handle then reach out for Glane’s and suddenly know without a doubt that this is going the shock the shit out of me. I touch a finger to the handle of Glane’s cabinet and am surprised at the lack of power then jerk my hand away when a wave of energy travels up my arm.

Okay, Cath first.

How do I talk to him? I simply just think my thoughts at Pan and Rion and they hear me…

”I can hear you, gentle one.” I startle at the masculine voice but can hear the obvious difference between Cath and Pan. At least I won’t get their voices confused.

”I would be highly offended if you thought I was Cath.” Pan scoffs and I smile then look around at each of them.

”If you’re trying to speak to only one of us at a time, all you need to do is think about directing it towards us.” Glane says in a raspy but distinctly feminine voice, “Cath and I will not actively listen to you unless you are intentionally sending us your thoughts.”

”And what about when Pan removes the shield? Does it work that way if I want to speak to Imogen and Dain?”

She glances at Pan before looking back at me, ”Like he said, both of them have mind signets. The rules don’t apply to them because they’re already skilled with other people’s minds.”

”Lovely, okay. So them being attached to a first-year rider who knows nothing about controlling her thoughts yet…it’s going to be like I am shouting everything at them.”

Cath chuffs out what I think is a laugh and nods.

I sit in silence for a moment, thinking about them and how I’m starting to relax around them…I’m not sure I’ll feel the need to protect my mind around them all day, every day. ”How will I keep them from knowing about seeing the Vale? If I were to not shield…would it be bad if they knew I’d been here?”

”It’s not a secret for you to be here, Lyra. However, your leadership wants to know the secrets of dragons, and we don’t trust most of them.” Rion looks down at me, “It is safer for you if your leadership doesn’t know because while they can’t force a dragon to answer them, they can try to force you.”

~~~

A while later, I’m sprawled out on my bed panting like I’ve just run a marathon.

Pan and Rion flew me back to my room, my window is just big enough to allow me to climb through it, and talked me through how to ward mine and Violet’s doorways. I’m not sure when I last ate, but at this point I just want to sleep.

They asked me if I wanted to speak with Xaden about what I heard last night before going to my room, but I declined. I’ll deal with that tomorrow. I don’t know what he’s going to say, but I’d like to continue basking in the excitement of being the first human to see the Vale as well as successfully using my magic only a day after threshing for a little while longer.

Before plopping face down on top of my bed a moment ago, I changed back into my silk camisole and shorts. My skin feels hot but Tairn reassured Pan and Rion that it’s expected after using magic.

My eyes close and I’m drifting in between awake and asleep when I hear the distinct sound of my door clicking shut.

I lurch upright and nearly topple off of my bed, cursing myself for not having a weapon nearby, when calloused hands grasp my shoulders gently.

“Whoa, breathe Lyra, it’s just us.”

Us? Who is us?

I peel my eyes open and suddenly find myself much more awake.

Garrick is standing at the end of my bed holding a tray piled high with food, Dain is leaning against the doorway holding a cup filled with what I hope is chocolate milk, and Imogen is directly in front of me watching me closely, still holding onto my shoulders like I’m going to fall over if she lets go.

“What’re you all doing in here? I just warded my door…did I not do it right?”

“No, you did it perfectly. The wards only allowed the three of us in.”

“Uh no, I only wanted myself to be allowed in—“

“From what I can feel from the wards, if you didn’t want us here they’d block us but some part of your subconscious must want us here.” Garrick smiles at me and I scowl at him, exhausted and hungry.

“Eat the food we brought, Ly, then see how you feel. We’ve been ordered by two very insistent dragons to make sure you eat and drink.” Dain cuts me off before I snap at Garrick and I shift my scowl to him.

“Why did they send you three and not Violet?”

In my head, I reach out for Pan and Lyra, “How are they in my room but you both helped me ward it? I can’t deal with the three of them today; I’m too sleepy and I’m going to say something without thinking.”

”Allow them to help you, little shadow.” Pan’s response is entirely unhelpful.

“They said you would argue with us less, but I’m starting to doubt that.” Garrick mutters then freezes when I glare at him.

“Lyra.” At Imogen’s change in tone I snap my gaze to hers and find her green eyes burning with an intense fire, “You’re much more agreeable when you are fed, eat your food, then see if you still feel the need to argue with us.”

My stomach gets a weird feeling in it when she orders me to eat and I feel my cheeks get hotter because I don’t understand why I just enjoyed her telling me what to do. She smirks at me for a moment, almost like she knows what I’m thinking, before shifting around to grab the tray of food from Garrick and setting it on the bed in front of me.

I scoot back and lean against the pillows and headboard, pull the tray towards me, then start eating my food. After the first bite I’m completely oblivious to the three of them exchanging relieved looks that I’m eating. About halfway through my plate I get thirsty and look up at Dain who’s still clutching the cup in his hand. He raises an eyebrow when he catches my eyes on him, “Is that for me?”

He softens immediately and moves away from the door, “Yes, you’re the only person I know who’s obsessed with the monstrosity that is chocolate milk.”

I smile at him and take the glass, “Thank you, all of you, for bringing me food. I really was hungry. I’m sorry for snapping at you two.”

“Look at how good she’s being, guys.” Dain maintains eye contact with me while Imogen speaks and I feel myself blush again, “Apologizing and thanking you two without hesitation.”

I clear my throat and pretend like I didn’t hear Imogen, “Also, chocolate milk isn’t a monstrosity, it’s delicious.” I finally break eye contact with him and don’t look at any of them again until after I’ve eaten everything on the tray.

“How do you feel? Still hungry?” I look up at Imogen when she questions me.

“I’m sleepy, I’m stuffed. I can’t remember when I ate last.” I pause but then decide to ask because I want to know the answer, “Why did you say that some part of my subconscious wants you three here? What makes you think that?”

Imogen grabs the tray and passes it to Garrick who sets it on my desk. He then goes to stand next to Dain who’s watching Imogen and I. She sits with her legs crisscrossed in front of her and leans her elbows onto her knees.

“Our dragons know everything about us, they feel like it’s part of their job as our bonded to ensure that we are happy, safe, and taken care of. Pan and Rion guided you through warding your door and Violet’s, and after you laid down they were concerned you wouldn’t eat; it was your first time actually using magic, great fucking job on that by the way, but they were worried with how exhausted you were. They also informed us about uh…well. About you overhearing our meeting and didn’t want you to start overthinking anything you heard.” She watches me carefully as I listen but when I don’t react to her mentioning the meeting she continues, “ Xaden will definitely get mad that you know now, but ask anything you want and we will be honest with you…I won’t tip-toe about how I feel towards you anymore, so here I am.”

“I do have questions about that, quite a few actually, but I don’t want to talk about what Xaden is hiding from me right this moment.” I’m quiet for a minute then I realize I have another question for her but gods it feels utterly embarrassing to ask it aloud. “And what was with you calling me—calling me good? Why did you do that?” The words come out whispered and I look away from her, burning a hole in the wall of my room. I flinch when I feel her cup my cheek and turn my head back to face her.

“Did you not like it? You don’t want to know that you’re doing a good job?” Her hand shifts to hold my chin in her grip and she keeps my head still when I try to look away. 

“I—I’m not—I don’t feel like I—“ my cheeks are burning and I reach up to wrap my hand around Imogen’s wrist, clutching it tightly. I’m not scared or uncomfortable in their presence, but I don’t know how to react to her telling me I’m doing a good job. I feel like I should deny it because there’s more could be doing.

“Cardulo,” Dain’s voice is harsh, “Don’t make her do anything she doesn’t want to.” I can see him out of the corner of my eye from where he’s moved to stand at the side of the bed, looking like he’s about to pull Imogen away from me.

“No, I’m not,” Imogen is speaking quietly, “Your dragons wouldn’t have suggested we come check on you if you felt unsafe, right? Do you trust us?”

I’m nodding my head, I do trust them. I trust each of them to not hurt me.

“What are you thinking, Lyra? Tell us,” Garrick’s next to Dain now and I lean into him when he gently runs the back of his finger against my cheek.

I close my eyes and concentrate on blocking the dragons by locking each of their cabinets with a separate key then put all of the keys on a chain and I feel a weight settle on my chest as if I really have four keys resting there. Then I reach out for the connection I have with Imogen and Dain, grasping the handles of their drawers in my mind and I hear them both gasp loudly.

“How the fuck—“ Imogen starts saying.

“Shut up!” Dain snaps.

“What’s happening?” Garrick questions.

I giggle at their responses then push my thought at both of them, ”I’m thinking that I trust all three of you.”

I open my eyes and look between all three of them, “I think I’d like you to know that I care about each of you. Like I just showed Dain and Imogen, I trust you three quite a bit. And thank Gods for that, they’re connected to my head now.”

Dain actually takes a step back from the bed, eyes wide and rimmed with fear. I automatically know he’s flashing back to what happened between us on his conscription day and I pull out of Imogen’s grip and move to the side of my bed, legs dangling.

“Dain,” I reach my hand out towards him and wait for him to decide to grasp it.

“I can feed you and bring you chocolate milk but I can’t, I won’t do this. I shouldn’t be connected to your head, you shouldn’t be forced to guard all of your thoughts from me. What if the bastard finds out about this? I can’t hurt you. Not again.” His hand trembles in my grip and I pull him closer until he’s standing in between my legs and I can rest my cheek against his chest.

I place the hand that had been in mine on my back then wrap my arms around his waist, he freezes for a moment before laying his other hand on my back.

“I trust you Dain, and I trust my dragons. They know things we don’t and if he did something to you that would make you hurt me again they’d protect me. Yes, before I knew the truth you terrified me, I won’t lie,” he flinches and goes to back up, but I tighten my arms around his waist, “But, but…I know the truth now and you would never hurt me intentionally. Imogen and Garrick wouldn’t have let you in here if either of them thought you were a threat to me, but you’re not. I don’t understand what’s going on or why your father did that to you, but you were mine and Vi’s best friend, Dain. I miss you.”

His hands slowly stop trembling and when he threads his fingers through my hair I let my eyes drift shut and relax into him. After combing my hair with his fingers for a few minutes he coaxes me to look up at him and I get lost in his warm brown eyes. “You trust me?” After I nod he tilts his head to the side, “Did Cath tell you exactly what my signet is?”

“No, he and Glane simply said that you and Imogen are very powerful and that you’re both blessed with mind signets. Pan has been providing my mind with a shield, but he said I’d need to be careful because I could very easily shout my thoughts at both of you since you’re already experienced with how the mind works.”

Imogen chuckles from behind us and Dain nods, “Yeah, you’ve been doing that for a few minutes now, but I’m trying to ignore it. I want to put my hands against your skin, but if you did what I think you did to be able to send us both a thought down the bond…I’ll see everything. So I ask again, do you trust me?”

“Since we have the connection through our mind already, couldn’t you both already be seeing everything? And how are you both not considered inntinnsics?”

“Yes, but that would be a violation of your mind. At least with my hand I get to have the illusion that you gave me permission. Also, for normal people who don’t have the mental connection we have because of the dragons, I can only see memories if I’m touching them.”

“And I can only see and erase memories if I’m touching them, you’re different for both of us because of the dragons mating bond connecting us. Sucks for you because anything you don’t block we can see as if you were saying it to us aloud.”

I reach for Dain’s hand and press it to the skin on my neck then reach behind me, grabbing Imogen’s hand, and press it to the other side.

”I trust you both to see what’s in my head. Just don’t—“ I swallow and push through the anxiety, “I don’t know, don’t judge me. I’ve never had other people in my head before.”

I close my eyes and picture my mental Riorson House library. I can feel the presence of Dain and Imogen before I actually see a version of them moving around my mental library.

Dain is walking around, looking at the books and drawers that hold my memories and feelings and is treating them with the utmost care. Imogen isn’t really touching anything. Every once in a while she’ll peek into a drawer before sliding it closed again. She moves to the cabinets that hold our dragons essence and pulls open the drawer that has the bond connected with her and I nearly flinch when I realize she’ll now know exactly how I feel about her. She moves to the one that’s for Dain and my heart beats even faster.

I’m not ready for them to know everything. What if they don’t feel the same?

Starting to feel a mixture of embarrassment and being overwhelmed, I reach for the necklace on my chest and unlock the door to Pan’s cabinet. I feel his presence grow in my head until he’s able to talk me through how to block them myself.

”You envision their bond as a drawer, little shadow, this is the same concept as pushing a stressful memory into a drawer to deal with later except that with them you’ll need to lock it and hold the key so that their drawer doesn’t open until you want it to open.”

”Your brain likes the connection that you have with them because you trust them, so you need to consciously hold it shut until your brain realizes not every thought needs to be shared.” Rion’s voice warms me as she pushes through and I slump forward onto Dain’s chest after locking their drawers, blinking to clear my head.

“Is she okay? What happened?”

“Sleepy,” I mumble and I feel a gentle but absurdly large hand brush through my hair.

“She’s fine, Tavis. It’s only a day or two after threshing though and exploring your mental pathways with two other people…it’s a lot. She needs sleep, all of it, and she’s going to be out of it for at least half a day.”

“Give her here, Aetos, you two walk up to my room. The bed is bigger, and I don’t want her alone tonight.”

I feel myself passed to a set of muscular arms and burrow my face into Garrick’s neck, where he smells strongly of leather and something spicy. I feel him take a step and I whine at the weird feeling that happens for a split second but before I can voice a complaint, he’s hushing me and setting me down on what is either the comfiest bed I’ve slept on in years or the fluffiest cloud. I don’t have the energy to open my eyes, so with visions of sleeping on a cloud I drift off to sleep.

~~~

A few minutes after I’ve fallen asleep the door opens to admit Dain and Imogen into the room. The shower is running and Garrick humming loudly can be heard behind the closed bathroom door.

“He adjusted to wards to admit you,” Imogen sounds shocked and she looks up at Dain with an expression not seen on her face often: uneasiness.

“I didn’t ask him to do that,” Unintentional defensiveness seeps into his tone as he shuts the door behind him, he surveys the room and smiles at my sleeping form which is cocooned in the blankets until only my face is visible.

“I know you didn’t, but the fact that he did it means this is real.” She glances at the bathroom door when the shower shuts off then looks back at Dain.

“And what is this? What happened in her room? I didn’t come across any thoughts that felt overtly private.” He raises an eyebrow when Imogen cringes, she is not a person who ever looks anything less than deadly and now in the space of two minutes he’s seen her uneasy and what is that…embarrassment?

“That was me, it had to of been me. As you know, she doesn’t form romantic feelings often. Hell, she’s never even kissed anyone.” She glances at my sleeping form before turning to the door as Garrick steps out, drying his hair with a towel and dressed in a pair of loose sleep pants and a tank top.

“Showers free if one of you wants it next, but I too want to know what happened and would prefer to know now because I’m exhausted.” He tosses his dirty towel into the small wicker basket in the corner of the room then sits on the bed, pulling the covers over his legs and leaning against the headboard. I roll over in bed, gritting my teeth and press my face against Garrick’s side. He rests one hand against my back, fingers moving gently up and down, then runs a singular finger from his other hand down my cheek until I unclench my jaw and take a deep breath.

Garrick looks back up once I’m relaxed against him and raises an eyebrow at the looks he’s receiving from Dain and Imogen.

“Weren’t you two discussing something as I came out of my bathroom?“

Imogen looks between us once more before shaking herself, “Right yeah, I was saying that I was the reason she clammed up and pushed us out…I saw her thoughts on who she finds attractive and she panicked because, well. Because two of us were literally in her head.”

Dain, who’d still been looking at Garrick and I like we were a spectacle, nearly snaps his neck he turns to look at Imogen so quickly.

“I think you’re mistaken, Lyra and I have always had a more…sibling-like relationship.”

“You’ve never wanted more with her?” Garrick asks quietly, looking down at me while his hand continues its slow trek up and down my back. He’s done this for years, even when we were little. After my mother left it would take a lot for Xaden and I to fall asleep so Dad let us have our family sleepover all the time. Once Xaden knew that Garrick, Bodhi, Liam, and Sloane were there with us, with pinky swears to still be there in the morning, he’d knock out. But I would ask all of them to do “soft fingers” on my back and arms and the only one who’d stay awake long enough for me to actually fall asleep was Garrick.

“Of course I did, but she wasn’t ready. Before her conscription day all she focused on was training, eating, and spending time she could with Violet…I wasn’t going to make her uncomfortable by saying anything.” He lifts his gaze and watches me with Garrick almost longingly, “Then after my conscription day. Well. We all know what happened then so I stopped thinking about being anything but her friend.”

“Aetos,” Imogen starts then grimaces, “Dain…I saw it. She’s more appreciative than you realize about you allowing her to focus on training. She knew you wanted more, but your restraint meant a lot to her. It’s why she was so distraught when that day happened. She knew that you hated being lied to but from what I gathered in her thoughts, you were like a stranger to her…nothing of how you were acting was normal and it scared her.”

“Look at how fast she chose to hug you after the truth came out though, Ae—Dain. If I remember correctly she fucking crawled into your lap. For Lyra that’s everything.” Garrick glances up and looks Dain in the eye then returns his gaze to my sleeping form.

“I—she—she likes me? Really?” Dain clasps his hands together tight enough that his knuckles go white.

“From what I gathered in her thoughts…yes. She’s confused because her feelings for Garrick have always been that he’s her brother, she ignored the feelings she had for you, Dain, because it was easier and she just wanted to be reunited with the crabby Riorson, and me…she did not like me at first, but it’s been changing for both of us. She recognizes the feelings, but doesn’t know what they mean. She was planning on talking to you, Garrick, after threshing but got interrupted.” Imogen sucks in a breath and exhales, “My question is…what does it mean for us? That she is attracted to all three of us?”

“I think her dragons made the decision for us…when they guided her through the process of warding her doorway.”

“What do you mean, Dain?”

“I mean that I think Pan and Rion see her thoughts, all of them, and helped her ward her doorway so that she feels protected against the unbondeds but can also have those she wants in there to be allowed in.”

“So why wouldn’t the wards allow Xaden in?”

“He can send his shadows through to check on her if needed, plus if he absolutely had to…he’d dismantle the wards to get to her.”

“Are you trying to tell me that you think her dragons played matchmaker? Setting her up with more than one person?!” Imogen’s voice gets a little high pitched towards the end and she freezes when I shuffle closer into Garrick’s side, but relaxes when I don’t move anymore.

Dain shrugs but ultimately nods his head, “I’m not turning down an opportunity to be with her, are you? Are you going to try and make her choose?”

“Nope.” Garrick’s voice is unwavering and he smirks before continuing, “I love men just as much as women. Don’t be afraid to bite hard Dain, I love it.”

Dain’s eyes are as big as plates for a moment before he huffs a laugh, “Yeah alright, but I’m not bottoming. Hard no.”

“That’s fine, you’ll need to be hard if you’re going to top me.”

Imogen hisses a breath out through her teeth and glares at both of them, “You…nasty! We haven’t even talked with her about how she feels about this…potential relationship and you’re already talking about sex?! She hasn’t even kissed anyone, you imbeciles!”

“Hey! We never said anything about involving her yet, but if all four of us are going to, you know, be romantically involved, we need to get to know each other. I know you, Imogen, in every way, but I don’t know Dain in that way.”

“There’s a lot you can learn about a person during sex, didn’t you know that, Imogen?” Dain wiggles his eyebrows for a moment before taking a breath and looking serious, “Honestly though, I know how she is. She’s very innocent in every way imaginable, but especially sex, and if she had been awake during this I wouldn’t be joking about it. In fact, when we do talk to her all I plan on saying is that Garrick and I, and hopefully you and I, are getting to know each other better.”

“And if she asks if we’re having sex?”

“Well I’m not going to lie to her, would you?” He pauses then seems to remember something because he crosses his arms and glares at her, “Also, aren’t you the one who told her what to do and then told her she was doing a good job earlier? She looked pretty fucking confused about why she liked that, and I confirmed that she was in fact confused when she let us into her head.”

“I needed her to be flustered or she would’ve continued arguing…”

“Yeah, but you said all of that to her with the intention of seeing if it would affect her…without her permission.”

Imogen cringes and looks at my sleeping form with a mixture of remorse and shame, “I’ll apologize to her. I didn’t think about it like that, Aetos.”

“Hey lover, none of that surname bullshit, you’ve been calling me Dain for at least an hour now and it’s too late to go back now.” He grins at her and cocks an eyebrow when her gaze sharpens.

“You said you wouldn’t bottom for Garrick, what about for me?” Her award winning smile quickly thins and drops to a frown when he laughs quietly.

“Absolutely…not. Thanks for asking though.”

“I’m going to make your life hell, Dain.” She grins at him sweetly then sashays into the bathroom, “I’m taking a shower, join me if you have the balls.”

“You are not fucking him in my shower, Imogen!” Garrick hisses at her, covering my exposed ear with his free hand, but it’s too late because she’s already shut the door. He shifts his gaze to glare at Dain who raises his hands in an “I surrender” motion.

“Hey, her idea, not mine!” He grins for another moment then his look turns serious again, “Have you ever seen another multi-person relationship in the quadrant? Is she going to be targeted for this? She’s already going to be on everyone’s radar because they want Pan. Even those already bonded are going to try and go after her and Vi. I won’t put more of a target on her back.”

“Yeah, it’s actually pretty common. The issue here is that we’re all upperclassmen, and she’s in our chain of command.”

“Oh, fuck. I didn’t think of that, do you think anyone is actually going to complain though? If we don’t show favoritism?”

“I honestly don’t know, but I do know that Lyra is going to have an opinion about it. Why don’t you go shower and we’ll talk about all of this in the morning? With the sleepyhead actually awake, that is.” He looks down at me before looking back up, “If you two do any funny business I’d better than hear any of it. And don’t wake us when you both get in bed.”

“We can stay here?”

“Well yeah, the bed is big enough. And Lyra is going to want to talk with you both as soon as she’s awake.”

“True, alright. Goodnight, Garrick.”

Garrick watches as Dain slips into his bathroom then shakes his head. He scoots down in the bed and allows me to readjust until I’m comfortable. I end up with my head on his chest and my hand curled around his bicep; Garrick lets an arm rest on my back and the other one cradles my head to his chest. He presses a soft kiss to the top of my head then falls asleep nearly immediately.