Chapter Text
He never forgot the moment when Grace told him at the races that she was pregnant and that she loved him. His body had relaxed and for a brief moment, he’d forgotten all about the task at hand. He actually remembered telling her to make her husband believe that Charlie was his. Even Grace, who he’d loved so much, he’d tried to push out of his life upon hearing that she loved him. he’d known that she loved him, but hearing it out loud, always stunned him. how could anyone love him? men like him weren’t supposed to find love once, let alone twice. But he had and he could scarcely believe that someone was actually in love with him. not only that…he loved her back.
Kate stared at him, her pale face now turning pink in embarrassment as she stared at him. “Say something…please.”
He didn’t know what to say to her right now. He was absolutely speechless. Of all the things that she could have to him, he didn’t expect those words ever to come out of her mouth. she loved him. well, she thought he was an idiot too, but she loved him. and then, it all made sense to him. it was as if he’d had bandages over his eyes and someone suddenly tore them off. Kate was in love with him. It made a little bit of sense now. Why she’d been so scared and upset that time, he’d drunk all that alcohol. She’d genuinely been terrified that she was going to lose him. as he thought about this, he thought about all the touches, the way she wanted to be there for him. she loved him that much.
Kate shook her head and just took off, running away from him with her skirts blowing behind her. He nearly ran after her, but he stopped himself. Kate, yes, he loved her. he’d known it a while, but he’d been lying to himself, summing it up as lust or attraction. But it wasn’t. it was much deeper and stronger that that. he had to stop and think about it. if he went after her, he’d ask her to marry him and her, she’d undoubtedly accept him. that led to another problem. She’d already endured enough in the few months that she’d spent as his housekeeper. As his wife, she’d have to endure much more. She’d have to risk getting killed if she married him and he couldn’t bear to lose another wife. but to walk away from her and pretend that he didn’t love her, that was a different sort of hell all together. he didn’t know if he could, even though he wanted to.
He shook his head and went back to the house. “Mr. Shelby!” He turned to see his driver approaching him. “Miss Carter wants to return to the house. Have I your permission to take her back?”
He was silent a moment and then he nodded. “Yeah. I’m ready to go back as well.” He didn’t know what he’d say to her when he got in the car, but, he didn’t know what to do with her. there were so many things that he wanted to say, but he knew that once he said them, things would never be the same between them. Whom was he kidding? Things were never going to be the same, especially after what she’d said.
When he got into the car, she inhaled sharply and turned away from him. he knew she was crying again and he felt like the bastard that she was always calling him. he reached into his pocket for a cigarette and lit it. The driver got in and they drove for ten minutes in uncomfortable silence.
As always, she spoke first. “I’m giving you my two weeks notice.” He stopped, cigarette halfway to his mouth as his heart stopped. F**k, he hadn’t expected her to go that far! He didn’t even have a moment to fully think this through. She’d already decided to leave him and his heart started to race at the thought of her leaving him! “I’ll draw up notes,” she sniffed. “your next housekeeper---
“I’m not dismissing you, Kate.” he said firmly. “You don’t have to go.”
“Yes, I do.” He stared at her as she broke. “I can’t do this anymore.”
he turned towards her. “Do what?”
“I’m sick of this.” she confessed as she hiccuped. “I-I can’t do this anymore. one minute, I’m your housekeeper, the next I’m on your arm in an expensive dress and you’re treating me like a lady. Other times we’re shouting and fighting with each other, the next you’ve,” she shakes her head. “the next you’ve got me pinned on your desk and you’re kissing me.”
he shook his head. She always was overthinking things and emotions. “Kate---
“Then, you’re acting like nothing ever happened between us!” She inhaled as she blurted out. “But I know, because I can feel you watching me and you touch me whenever you can, as long as it’s proper.” She shakes her head as she says. “I know, I’m inexperienced, when it comes to men but…God, you’re driving me mad. I don’t know what you want from me!”
he inhaled. “I don’t want---
“Stop lying to me!” She shouted as she spun around towards him. “You paid 100 pounds to f**k me,” the car swerved slightly, so he knew the driver was listening. “and then you kept your hands off me until last month! And you can lie to me all you want, but I know you wanted me because I f**king felt it!”
“But you didn’t f**king want me!” He shouted back at her as he dropped his cigarette on the ground. She was looking at him as if she was confused. “You told me to stop and I did! I told you, that it wouldn’t happen again and it didn’t! You don’t get to be mad because I gave you my word after forcing you.”
she stared at him a long time, then she said. “I might as well just say it. I’ve got nothing else to lose.”
“Say what?”
“You didn’t force me.” he went completely still at those words. He glanced at her as she inhaled shakily. “That day in the library... I didn’t want you to stop.”
he blinked, completely confused by her confession. “Then why did you---
“I wanted him to stop.”
he frowned. “What do you mean him, Kate? I was the one kissing you Kate.”
“George.” She croaked as she pushed her hair out of the way to reveal that little scar on her neck. “You, you were kissing me…where, he bit me.”
he stared and then his eyes widened as he realized what had happened. “Oh f**k.” he’d kissed her there and it had set her off. how could he have been so stupid? He shook his head and exhaled deeply. “F**k, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize.”
She inhaled. “I-I couldn’t…figure out how to tell you---
“It’s alright.” He rubbed his eyes. “I should have known. You don’t like being touched there…I can’t believe I forgot.”
She inhaled. “I think…all things considered, it’d be hard for you to remember in that one moment.”
“I should have.” He said quietly. “I should have remembered.”
“I hadn’t…till that moment.” she inhaled as she said. “That’s what the problem was. I didn’t mind you kissing me.”
he looks at her and studied her. “Really?” His heart started to beat a little faster in his chest. “I didn’t want to upset you that day.”
“I know. I-I enjoyed it…a lot.” Oh, he wasn’t going to be able to resist her if she didn’t shut up. “I-I just, you were moving a bit fast for me. I’ve never…been kissed like that before. And, I-I realized that I was having inappropriate thoughts---
He cut her off. he couldn’t bear this a moment longer. He asked the driver. “How far are we from the house?”
The driver cleared his throat. “Five minutes, Mr. Shelby.”
“Get there in two.” The driver stepped on the gas and Kate yelped and grabbed onto the car seat to steady herself. he leaned forward and took her chin between his thumb and forefinger. She inhaled sharply, her green eyes studying him. she was nervous, but he couldn’t see any fear. “If I was to kiss you like that again, right now,” her green eyes got wider. “would you let me?”
She didn’t even hesitate as she nodded. “Yes. I would.”
with that, he kissed her and Kate moaned, instantly latching onto him. God! With her kiss, there was a rush of warmth, heat and emotions to fill his entire being. Kate scooted closer and he grabbed her around the waist, pulling her into his lap. Kate let out a cry, but she didn’t push him away. her hands gripped his face, tracing his cheekbones as he held onto her. oh, she tasted better than he remembered. Her kisses were so sweet, sweeter than anything he’d ever tasted.
The driver slammed on the brakes and Kate crashed forward into him. he grabbed the seat to keep from falling over. She let out a groan and he broke the kiss. “Come on.”
“W-where?” She stammered as he got her off his lap. He didn’t bother to explain as he got her out of his car, took her hand and half-dragged her into the house.
he opened the door to see Clarissa going through the house, securing the windows. “Mr. Shelby! Mrs. Carter. You’re both back early,” he gripped Kate’s hand tighter as he half-dragged her to the library, which was the closest room. “shall I---
he slammed the door behind him, causing her to jump. “Oh my---
he kissed her again and she groaned, holding onto him as he pressed her against he door. she moaned and threw her arms around his neck. oh, she wanted him. he didn’t know what had happened, but her signals were loud and clear. She wanted him. he’d been dreaming of this and he wasn’t about to stop until she told him to stop. f**k, he hoped that she wouldn’t. Her kisses were feverish and desperate. If he had any doubts that Kate wanted to be with him, this moment proved it. she was moaning against his mouth, arching her body against his and it was taking all his control not to just f**k her in this passion. He hadn’t had it like this since Grace, even then, it hadn’t been this intense. Grace, was soft, sweet and quiet. Kate was sweet too, but she had a passion, a fire in her that matched his. Kate was still scared of certain things, understandably, but she felt safe with him. he promised to make sure that she was never scared of him. he’d take care of her, she’d never be scared to be with him. She'd never be scared of anything again.
Kate tugged at Thomas’s coat, pulling it off his shoulders. God! All this time, he’d been in love with her and he’d tapped it down inside from her! they’d have to talk, but right now, all she wanted was him. he let out a sound as he cupped her hips in his hands while frantically kissing her face. she began to realize several thing in the midst of this beautiful passion between the two of them. especially what had been going on in his head during these past few weeks. It was as if she was seeing everything through new eyes and the past became as clear as the present.
“You were jealous!” She gasped out. “Jealous…of John!”
“Yes,” he growled as he continued backing her up into the room. “I f**king was!!”
“You…idiot!”
“Shut up, Kate.”
She ignored him as she confessed. “I wanted you.”
He broke the kiss and asked, gently gripping her hair in his hand. Strange, how a gesture that could be considered violent, was tender and gentle when performed by him. . “What’d you f**king say Kate?”
“That I wanted you.” she inhaled deeply as he lifted her up onto the desk, causing her to hold tightly onto his neck. “I-I thought…you’re my boss, I had no right---
“I didn’t care.” he shook his head. “No one’ll stop me from wanting you, Kate.”
she slapped his shoulder. “Why didn’t you,” he pulled the thin strap down from her shoulder and kissed her there. she inhaled sharply. “oh! Oh, God!” He placed his hand on her thigh, gently massaging it in his hand before looking at her. His blue eyes clearly asking for permission to touch her. she nodded instantly, granting it. “Yes.”
“If it’s too much,” he rasped against her lips. “let me know.”
“Yes.” He leaned forward to kiss her, to serve as a distraction as his hand moved to that spot between her legs.
Kate gripped his shoulders firmly, locking eyes with him as his hand moved closer and closer to the wet heat throbbing between her legs. this…felt different from the first time he touched her like this. Kate’s heart was beating violently in her chest that she was sure that he could hear it. she let out a whimper against his mouth as he finally slipped his finger inside her. this time, there was no pain as she was wet. But Kate still let out a cry and broke the kiss, gripping his shoulders tightly as she took his finger to the knuckle. He looked questioningly at her. “This alright sweetheart? Can I touch you?”
She nodded eagerly at him. “Yes! oh! Please, I-I want you to.”
he leaned forward and kissed the corner of her mouth. she inhaled, flushing desperately as she fell more in love with Thomas. she maintained eye contact, holding onto him as he slid a second finger inside her. “Oh!” Kate cried out as she threw her head back as a strange sensation filled her. “Oh, my God!!” She gripped him tighter as she realized that there was a problem.
His ring!
Thomas was one of few men who wore several rings. One, was his wedding band, another was a signet ring and a bejeweled ring that he wore on special occasions. Today….he was wearing that ring! Kate gasped as she felt the ring inside her, the stones lightly scraping her walls as he thrust his fingers in and out of her. Kate struggled to get her breath, but failed as he kept up this, beyond pleasurable sensation.
His other hand caressed her shoulder before slipping down to cup her breast in his hand, causing her to scream. “Oh, my God! Tommy!”
he shakes his head. “F**k, you look so beautiful like this, Kate.” she flushed hotter as she stared back at him, her lips parted. He leaned forward to kiss her. “F**k.”
“Tommy!”
he kissed her, silencing her as she let out sounds against his lips. She could barely breathe as she arched against him, wrapping her legs around his waist. she held onto him, breathing heavily as he chased her body towards the rapidly growing cliff of pleasure. Kate let out a sharp cry as her body contracted around his fingers, before crying as she came over his hands, her fingers digging into his back.
He exhaled deeply. “F**k!” He kissed her. “F**k, you alright?”
She nodded. “Yes, Thomas.” He stilled as he ran his hand through her hair. She flushed. “I-I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have---
“It’s alright.” he said softly. “I expect to hear you say my name more often.”
She was silent a moment, drinking in his kisses before confessing. “I wanted to tell you so many times, but…it wasn’t my place.”
He exhaled. “I wanted to tell you too, but I kept thinking…after all you’ve been through, you needed a better man. a gentler man like Carter.”
She shook her head as she whispered. “I want someone strong, someone to hold onto me.”
“I’ll hold onto you Kate.” he promised. “You have my word.”
“I know.” he kissed her a few more times before she said quietly. “I should go upstairs.”
he exhaled roughly. “Alright.” he carefully helped her off the desk and she nearly collapsed. He caught her. “I’ve got you.”
she nodded as she whispered. “Yes.” with that, she pulled her shorts back up around her waist and he grabbed his coat. He took her hand and carefully led her up the stairs. she inhaled as she said. “The whole house will know, because Clarissa heard us.”
“Don’t care.” He said simply, causing her to smile. “I think…we’ve played enough games between us, agreed?”
she nodded. “Agreed.” He stopped outside her room and held her hand as she whispered. “Goodnight, Tommy.”
“Goodnight Kate.” with that, he stepped forward and kissed her so gently that she could have sworn that she was going to faint. She was blushing as he broke the kiss, her hand shook as she touched her burning lips. He inhaled deeply. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Yes, Tommy. goodnight.”
He nodded as she stepped into her room and turned towards him. he held her gaze as she closed the door. they both had faint smiles on their faces like a pair of teenagers until the door shut. She rested her warm forehead against the door for a few minutes before walking over in a trance to her vanity. She carefully stripped out of her dress, her heart pounding in her chest.
God! She couldn’t believe all of this had just happened in so short a time! all this time, he’d been in love with her but had kept silent in case she wasn’t ready for him and the kind of love that he’d been offering. Originally, she hadn’t been, but somehow, he coaxed her through all the fears. Gotten her to trust him and make sure that she felt safe with him. once he’d accomplished that, he’d unknowingly gotten her to fall in love with him.
Kate had finished removing her makeup and just started combing her hair, when there was a light tap at the door. “Come in!” the door opened. She shook her head. “You can stay for 10 minutes Rosemary, then its back to bed.”
There’s a silence. “Well,” she dropped the brush at the sound of Thomas’s voice. her face heated as she realized that he’s not Rosemary. He’s also standing there in just his shorts. He’s completely bare from the waist up. “I’m not Rosemary, but, is it alright if I come in?”
She didn’t even bother think as she nodded. “Yes.” She stood up, setting down the brush. “You can come in Thomas.”
