Chapter Text
It is now time for the new game show that's been sweeping the floor-
"How Fucked Is The ARMS League!!!"
Before we go into how many infractions the League will have to deal with, lets give some awards to a few specific fighters and stages!
Most Fighter Infractions goes to The Rad Scientist, Dr.Coyle! I knew she was gonna have a lot of infractions, but this shit is just nuts!
Least Fighter Infractions goes to The Speed Demon, Kid Cobra! I was honestly expecting more from him based off his attire alone, but at least I didn't have as big of a headache counting his infractions from the wiki alone.
Most Fashionable Infractions goes to Dr.Coyle! Turns out that having her logo on pretty much everything she wears would give her the most fashion related infractions.
Most Lethal Infractions goes to The Silver Screen Queen, Twintelle! Weaponized hair can really make a difference.
Me/PetRock's Favorite Fighter is split between both The Mean Machine Springtron and The Sucker Puncher Lola Pop. Springtron I like purely for lore reasons, and Lola Pop for the fact she was the first fighter I ever unlocked all ARMS on.
Most Stage Infractions goes to [NAME REDACTED] aka ARMS Laboratories. It should only be used for lab experiments, not fighting people with slinky ARMS!
Least Stage Infractions goes to the Sparring Ring. This stage miraculously only had one infraction! If I were to hazard a guess as to why, it probably comes down to how this stage was originally only intended for the online exclusive 1-on-1 mode before being made playable in version 3.2, aka the second best update in the game.
Most Disrespectful To Fight On Stage goes to the Temple Grounds. I'm pretty sure fighting in a sacred place viewed highly at least one religious group would get you in massive trouble.
Most Lethal Stage goes to [NAME REDACTED]. If those tubes are carrying lethal gas and they're broken, then everyone in that room is about as good as dead.
PetRock's Favorite Stage goes to the Sky Arena! If you ever plan on reading any of my other fanfics, you'll find out soon enough why this is my favorite.
Now, how many infractions is the ARMS League gonna have to deal with?
Starting with the fighters, here are each of them and their infractions listed in where they appear on the character select screen-
Spring Man: 27
Ribbon Girl: 31
Ninjara: 28
Master Mummy: 25
Mechanica: 28
Min Min: 28
Twintelle: 29
Byte & Barq: 30
Helix: 25
Kid Cobra: 23
Max Brass: 26
Lola Pop: 30
Misango: 28
Springtron: 31
Dr.Coyle: 40
Added up, all the ARMS fighters combined have a total of 429 infractions. I don't remember how many infractions everyone in Punch-Out has, but I'm at least 85% positive that this could be higher then whatever the WVBA has going on.
As for the stages-
Spring Stadium: 5
Ribbon Ring: 5
Ninja College: 6
Mausoleum: 6
Ramen Bowl: 5
Scrapyard: 8
Cinema Deux: 10
Buster Beach: 5
Snake Park: 9
DNA Lab: 11
Sky Arena: 6
Via Dolce: 6
Temple Grounds: 12
Sparring Ring: 1
[NAME REDACTED]: 14
Added up, all the stages have a total of 109 infractions.
Putting together all the general infractions and assuming I didn't miss any since I was working off my memory and what I saw on the wiki 'cause I haven't played this game since the 7th year anniversary, The ARMS League has broken a total of 538 infractions!
Despite how insane this project has made me, this was actually kinda fun to make. And who knows, maybe if an ARMS 2 is announced I'll make a sequel to this. I just hope that I won't have as big of a headache when that happens-
[Suddenly Aran Ryan shows up by breaking down the door with a fucking dodge ball. His boxing glove flail from Title Defense has now been doubled and are wrapped around both of his normal arms, and he's also carrying a bunch of other stereotypical Irish stuff.]
OH WHAT THE FU-
[Insert credits sequence here with an 8-bit cover of the ARMS Theme here]