Archive of Our Own ^beta

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I sat at the park, my beautiful blue orbs ejaculating salty water, showing my complete utter despair. I cupped my hands in my eyes under the slide. Suddenly, y/n came out of nowhere and hugged me! It was like careless whisper was playing at top volume. My face was all red and her face was so hottie mommy boo boo bear muffin baked at 80 degrees for 50 minutes pookie wookie alpha wolfy hot. I couldn't take it. I kissed her. But then, Harry styles came out of nowhere and kissed her too. And then Obama kissed her too. They got in a fistfight and started fucking. In the end Obama won the lightning stick fight and then I started fighting Obama. I won of course and then me and y/n ran away and fucked.

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After a wonderous, magnificent, absolutely horrifically amazing night with y/n, I woke up in my bed in a cold sweat. I got up and opened the door of my bedroom. I jumped out of my treehouse and scooped up some dirt into my bare hand. I then threw it into the mist that surrounded the treehouse of mine. Unfortunately, I had hit the one and only, Peppa Pig. She started running at me, and fast, with a furious rage in her eyes. I turned and tried to run, but to my surprise, there was Obama. He had a plastic bat with a smiley face sticker on it. The only thing I saw after making that observation was him swinging the bat towards my head. Next thing I knew I woke up in some kind of dark basement. I quickly looked around, to see Obama, Peppa Pig, Harry Styles, George, and the Kool-Aid guy. I tried to scream and move around but was only able to achieve a squirm. My mouth had a piece of duct tape on it and I was tied up with tight ropes, restricting my every movement. Georgy Pig slowly walked up to me with a mischievous grin and ripped off the tape. "Why are you doing this?!" I asked, my tone of voice growing quickly. "You cannot have y/n. They are OURS." Harry styles said. Suddenly, y/n bursts through the doors on the roof with a gun! They start shooting and everyone's ducking! "Please y/n! Don't kill them!" I shout. They slowly approach me and place a hand on my cheek. "Why? They are trying to hurt you!" "But please y/n, just let them live..." I say. My voice is still shaken from the Immedient action. I look at the others who have scattered around, they seem quite frightened as well. "Why are you so persistent about keeping the same people who were about to kill you, alive?! Your fucking insane Jayden!" They start screaming at me. Hot tears start forming in my eyes. "Your pathetic! Don't start with those tears! You put yourself here!" A single tear falls, and more follow. "Darling I'm sorry! Please! Just, let them live! I know I'm pathetic! I just..." "Fine." Their eyes finally showed a single ounce of sympathy. I looked at them with a thankful gaze as they untied the ropes that were stopping me from leaving this place. I slowly got up, to find that I could barely walk. They must've purposely done this to me! I fell to the cold concrete ground, which hurt immensely. Y/n slowly picked me up and carried me slowly out of the basement.

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"Hello dears. I'm Muja Kina, and I'm gonna be your nurse for today. Rest assured that you will receive-" "SHUT THE FUCK UP WE NEED THE FUCKING DOCTOR" Y/n screamed.
"Yes sir/ma'am!" The nurse, whose name was revealed to muja kina, said with urgency as she quickly walked to go get a doctor. "How does she wear such revealing clothes and not get fired?" I say to y/n.
"I don't know, but it's insane." Y/n says to me. Suddenly, a doctor came in. But not a normal doctor, it was a pink horse with a fluffy hot pink mane and tail.
"Hiya guys! What's the problem here?"
"JAYDEN CANT WALK!"
"Not a problem just let me go get twilight!" The pink horse said before leaving the room.
"Who the fuck is twilight? This is so fucking weird I swear." I say to y/n.
"Yeah, I know, but at least you're getting your legs fixed(?)" they say to me. Suddenly I saw a purple pegasus with a multicolored mane and tail. She comes into the room looking very serious. "Alright Jayden. I'm gonna need you to close your eyes for a bit, ok?" I close my eyes. At first I can't feel anything. Then, POP!
Is that a... gacha life version of y/n and harry styles and obama and me and the kool-aid man and peppa pig and georgy pig? Oh god, theyve been stuck in a white room. Theres a note on the floor. Go read it. Gacha version of y/n does. Tt says: "Hiya, this is the creator. You guys are gonna react to your future selves!" Suddenly, they get in to positions around the screen that popped out of nowhere. The screen flashes different colors, before we see an edit of harry styles shooting the kool-aid man, turning into an alpha wolf, him looking scared like from earlier, and him carrying y/n. Y/n looks nauseous so they (the "creator") changes the video. We go through just about every one before everything goes black and I hear a faint but familiar pop sound...
My eye's shoot open looking at twilight sparkle and normal y/n in front of me. "You ok Jayden...?" Y/n says. I still feel dizzy from the affect, which causes me not to respond. "Don't worry y/n, that's just the effect of the magic healing her legs. She'll be like that for a couple days so we're gonna keep them in here for a while if that's ok." The nurse tells them. Y/n nods. "As long as I can stay with them." "Unfortunately, we can't guarantee that you'll be allowed to stay for everything, but you can stay for around 8 hours a day." "That should be fine."

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I woke up in my hospital bed. I could hear a faint voice coming from my nurse, Muja Kina. "You must wake up dear. Food's ready for you to eat!" I slowly open my eyes and see her looming over me. I get up and look over to see a food tray with green eggs and ham. It looked ever so scrumptious. I pick a piece up and shove it into my dry mouth. "You also have a visitor!" I grunted at that. Soon y/n came in, but they had a friend with them who happened to be thisguy137! "Oh my god! It's you! I shared art class with you in 6th grade! How ya doing buddy?" I say, excitedly. In response, he vomits. All over the carpet. Muja Kina pressed a button and some janitors came and took away the carpet. "My bad" He says with an ever so slightly distressed look on his face. I looked at him awkwardly before he spoke again. "I've been doing good, I came to check up on you because I heard you were in the hospital. Are you alright?" "Yeah I uh..." I explain everything that's happened to me. He looks just as confused as I was. "Wow that was a rollercoaster of a story, Jayden!" He says. Suddenly I heard a loud brick shattering noise above my bed. The kool-aid man had busted into my hospital room! And he was holding a tiny polar bear. He threw it at the nurse which caused a bunch of buff female security guards to bust in through the doors, trying to restrain him. Unfortunately for them though, he was able to make an escape by busting through all the walls of the rest of the hospital rooms while screaming "OH YEAH!". Y/n ran over to muja kina and tried to get the small polar bear off of her while not damaging either bodies. The buff bodyguards kept chasing him as other patients screamed in confusion and horror because of the scene that was happening. Suddenly, Obama, Harry, Peppa, and George busted through the walls as well and they were carrying children's bicycles, training wheels and all. "Are you sure these will make good weapons?" Harry styles said to Peppa. "Yeah! They are mine, George's, Susie's, and Danny's. They should be perfect." They started running around the already panicked hospital, destroying whatever possible as I'm assuming they're trying to find me. Thisguy137 took out a gun and started trying to shoot them but unfortunately got a bicycle to the head. Suddenly a bunch of cheerleaders run into the hospital and start doing a routine as the doctors and nurses continued to try to get the situation under control. "Go Y/n and Jayden! You can do it! Y./.N. A.N.D. J.A.Y.D.EN.! what does that spell? Y/n and Jayden!" They were bouncing all over the place doing flips and kicks and cartwheels. Suddenly one does a backflip into one of the medical devices. "Oopsies!" She says, then continues the routine. I tried to run when I spotted the other gang, but they found me. Next thing I knew they had a bag over my head.

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The engine roared which caused me to wake up. I looked around to see I was in a van. Next to me was a man who seemed to be in his late 30's. He was being tortured by an anime girl with green hair repeating "Yandere dev Yandere dev!". This is horrible. I fell back into a slumber for the remainder of the trip. Next thing I knew I woke up again in the same basement as last time. Everyone except the look-aid man and Obama were all surrounding me again with different weapons. They knocked me out of my chair preparing to take the life out of my body. They raised their weapons like they're going to attack any second now. Suddenly, the kool-aid man bursts in! He starts running around, knocking people over, taking their weapons, etc. "GOD FUCKING DAMN YOU KOOL-AID MAN" Harry styles says. Suddenly Obama comes in through one of the doors is a school girl costume and a pink wig with a red bow in the back. "Hey guys I decided to try cosplaying! Do I look like Mai Waifu?" He strikes a pose before noticing what's going on. "Bad time? Alright!" He goes back into the house as the chaos continues. The kool-aid man looks in to my eyes, his hair glistening with sweat. He reached out and takes my hand to leave this place god has abandoned years ago. "Oh by the way to pay me back you have to work my shift at Freddy fazbears pizza diner." "FUCK."

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I sit in the cheap office chair they put me in. Suddenly I hear a phone call from the phone they've supplied me with. "Hello? Hello, hello? Uh, I wanted to record a message for you to help you get settled in on your first night. Um, I actually worked in that office before you. I'm finishing up my last week now, as a matter of fact. So, I know it can be a bit overwhelming, but I'm here to tell you there's nothing to worry about-” I didn’t listen past that. Huh. I'm TOTALLY not gonna die tonight. Ooh! Clicky thingy! I continuously click on one of the buttons to the doors. I watch it open and close repeatedly. Suddenly, BOOM! Bonnie face! I am scared fucking shitless. I stop clicking but it starts banging. Then it runs away. "Oh thank god," I think to myself before I realize the other door is still open. I run to go close it as fast as possible. Suddenly I start hearing emo boy by Ayesha erotica playing through the fire alarm. "WHAT THE-" I scream out. But honestly... after listening to it for a bit... it kinda bangs harder than Bonnie on the door. OH WAIT BONNIES BANGING ON THE DOOR! I scurry to the corner as furthest away from him. I look out the window and BOOM FOXY FACE! It hit me so hard I went back to my elementary school years.
I walk into my school, but it's different. And instead of my teacher, it's a bald man, well no, he has one strand of hair on his head, wearing a bright green shirt and dark blue pants. "WHO ARE YOU?! YOUR NOT MR. CLINE! WHERES MY TEACHER?! WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM?!" I scram at him in horror and confusion. "AND WHY ARE YOU SO UGLY?!" in response he just stood there silently. Still confused, I decided to walk to one of the doors. It was a classroom, and on the teachers desk was a notebook. I walked over to it and a tablet showed up. On it stood the strange mans face and a math problem. 2 + 2. "Well that's easy" I thought to myself. I meant to put 4, but I accidentally put 5. He looked PISSED. And I was like, "Jesus dude calm down it was just a mistake" But he was like "GRRRR IM GONNA MURDER YOU GRR" and the ipad closed out. I heard slapping in the distance and was like "OH NO HES GONNA KILL ME WITH HIS RULER!" I ran, and honey when I tell you it was faster then I ever have in my entire life, I'm not lying. Suddenly some words popped up above my head. They said "Objective: Collect all notebooks and avoid Baldi". I assume Baldi is the man I can hear in the distance. I start going through all of the classrooms, answering the questions. Though even with the ones I get right he just continues to get mad! It's insane bro! Suddenly a girl with atrocious hair comes up to me and says "Lets play!" and forces me to play jump rope with her. I can feel baldi behind me, slowly creeping up, then BOOM! A SLAP BACK TO REALITY!
I am SMACKED back into reality staring into foxy's eyes suddenly I hear the celebration sound meaning I have successfully made it through the night. I am never coming back here.

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I exit the building. The day is over, and the sky is dark. I get into the car I stole from Jojo Siwa and start driving back to my tree house. Suddenly I drive by an old elementary school. I shudder, remembering what happened, and what the awful man replacing my teacher did. I then see a little man dressed in a red shirt and overalls on the road. It's too late. I end up hitting him. I drop my insurance on his dead body before driving away. I then ran by a club and pulled into the driveway. I get out of my car plastered with Jojo Siwa's face and break through the window of the club. I walk around the inside of the club and look around. Suddenly police bust in and arrest Jojo Siwa with the same little red dressed man following behind them and ranting about how he had to respawn in some guy named Steve's bed. I just thought, "well, least it's not me!" before going back to the dancefloor. I saw Chica and honestly, at first I was scared, but bitch was throwing that shit back! And then Tom fucking Nook from Animal Crossing joined her! Though that gyat was bouncing. Honestly gave me a girl boner. Suddenly sexy back x just dance started playing and everyone but me and this one girl started twerking as well on the dancefloor. I slowly approach her. "So uh... what's your name?" I say to her. "Gangle. What's yours?" "Jayden. So uh... do you like anime?" She stays silent. "Yeah." "Say... you wanna get into one sometime? Maybe even a hentai~?" I say. She starts crying and running away. I guess my rizz is just immaculate! I then look behind me and I see harry styles and obama break through the window! Everyone still in their twerking trance doesn't notice and they start running at me. I turn around to start running but I see the kool-aid man burst through the other window! He ran at them, but harry styles had a gun and shot him! Causing all his Kool-aid to ooze out onto the floor as he cries in agony. "T-tell my discord kitten... I love her..." What the fuck? Ehem anyways. I watch as the life drains out of his eyes and he breathes his last breath. Hot tears start streaming down my cheeks, but the enemies didn't care and started trying to chase me. I pick up his phone and run as fast as possible. I jump out of the broken window just avoiding the broken glass and surprisingly not getting cut. I run bad fast as I can then dive into a bush. I look back at the wall holding the window I jumped out of and I saw y/n! They looked just as frightened as I was. They were clearly hiding from the others so I pretended like I didn't see them and I just got on kool-aid man's phone. It was immediately opened to discord so I scrolled through it until I found a person nicknamed "my kitten". The last text from them was saying something like "if you don't renew me my monthly nitro then I'm gonna stop delivering you my services." I ignore that and text her back. "Yeah uh so this is his friend he uh, died. So uh, he won't be able to renew your subscription. Sorry man☹️" "Oh alright thanks." After that she goes offline. I then call 911 anonymously to come get a "man" who died.

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As soon as I call, the police are already here picking up the body. After everything is set and done me and y/n finally start talking. "I'm so sorry," I say to them while looking down.
"It's alright." They say back. I give a relieved sigh and raise my head again.
"You wanna go to the graveyard?" I say to them. "To see thisguy137 again." They nod and we start walking, as it's only a block away and my only means of transportation have been taken away (Jojo Siwa's stolen car). On the way it didn't seem so bad even despite the circumstances. We actually saw a polite stray cat on the way there. We go up to his grave and set a white rose, his favorite flower, on it. Suddenly the tombstone starts glowing... and legends never die starts playing... the dirt starts shaking and splitting apart... and a god like being arising from the dirt... OH MY FUCKING THISGUY137 THISGUY137 IS ARISING FROM THE FUCKING DEAD! IN A FUCKING SOMBRERO! OH MY FUCKING THISGUY137! He looked into our eyes and spoke.
"I don't know where this sombrero came from but it's bad ass also hi yall" his godly voice erupted from his vocal cords. He was still partially glowing. Legends never die got to the best part. Then suddenly Mr beast comes out of nowhere and starts yelling.
"You successfully arose from the dead, you sir, get 3 billion dollars! How are you feeling?"
"aw this is so poggers dude aw dude this is awesome sauce like literally poggers mr beasty" says thisguy137. After an hour of interviews, we start walking back to my treehouse. We climb up and see Yuri and Jessica rabbit oiled up naked twerking against each other eating apples with Donald Duck in the background throwing money at them. We slowly back out of the treehouse and start walking away. "Well that was weird," I say to thisguy137. He nods at me and we continue our walk. We pass by the park.
Me, Thisguy137 and y/n continue walking and talking. Suddenly we hear quick footsteps behind us . We quickly turn around to see obama and harry styles running up to us. We try to fight back but the others are too strong and end up taking y/n.

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Me and thisguy137 burst into the basement to see obama and harry styles trying to rizz up y/n and peppa pig and george tied up in the background. I run at harry styles and sock him in the nose. He cries out as its bleeding and tries to punch me back but I dodged because I am awesome. This guy137 runs up behind him and drop kicks him into the roof of the basement. Obama is in his mai waifu cosplay again and runs up to thisguy137. We both punch him until he's down and I grab y/n. I take them out of the basement and place them down. I then go back in for peppa and george. We get them all out of there and peppa and george thank us profusely. "We are so sorry! After the hospital fight we wanted to stop working with harry styles and obama but they got mad and kidnapped us! And they threatened to cook us if we ever tried to escape! It was so scary.." peppa says. George understandably doesn't say anything. Thisguy137 starts talking about having to go and we wave him goodbye. As me and y/n start walking the pigs home we begin to chat. "You know, thisguy137 has never took his hat off." I say to y/n. "Yeah, I wonder if he's bald." Y/n responds. "Or maybe he has some luscious hair. Maybe we should ask him to show us?" "maybe." that ends the conversation as we're at the door of the pigs house. We knock on the door to be greeted by a bigger older more depressed looking version of peppa pig. "If you don't have my children I don't want to talk." She looks over to the side preparing to slam the door on us but stops when I speak. "Actually we do!" Her face softens into a look of disbelief. The two little pigs come out from behind me and hug their mother. "You've been gone for 2 weeks straight! Where were you?!" She starts to tear up from a mixture of happiness and disbelief. The children start explaining themselves. The mother seems mad, but relieved. Me and y/n wave them goodbye and start heading down the hill. We begin talking about thisguy137 again. "He has a great voice. I wonder if he's ever thought of singing?" "I don't know but he should." Suddenly, a blue hedgehog runs past us going like super fast! He circles us 3 times before stopping. "Hey! My names sonic the hedgehog. Whats up?" We shake hands and start talking. After a nice conversation we part ways and me and y/n start going home. We start going to y/n's apartment when they say "Ignore my roomate, they can be a bit rude sometimes.".

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Y/n's roomate is a bunch of building blocks? How strange. But it still manages to flip me off. "Y/n is this really your partner? You could do like, so much better." Ok, rude. "Anyways I have my girlfriend over so like leave us alone." In the hallway I see a girl peek out from one of the doors. It's the same girl I met at the club! She noticed me and quickly went back into the room. I look away from her and back to y/n. Zooble goes back to their room and hangs out with gangle. I get settled with y/n in their room and we hang out, playing videogames and such. "Say... what happened at the treehouse? Did you also see jessica rabbit and yuri or am I going crazy?" I say to y/n. "No, I definitely saw it too. So did thisguy137. Speaking of him we have not talked to him in a while. I wonder what he's up to?" They replied. The game played the standard death sound. They yelled out shit but placed the controller back on the bedside table. "We should go back to the treehouse and see what happened."
What the fuck happened. The shit looks like a damn strip club! We climbed into the treehouse to see dudes on the table I used to eat my pure chicken noodle soup on twerking and humping my stuff! Seriously what the fuck! A plushy was passed over the crowd watching and throwing money at the male strippers. HEY WAIT THATS MY POMNI PLUSHY! I quickly try to grab it but get boo'd by the crowd. I look at the people in the crowd and realize they all look extremely gay. WE ARE IN A GAY STRIPCLUB. A GAY STRIPCLUB THAT WAS ONCE WHERE I LIVED. I run into my room and see it has been turned into a private room. I slowly exit the room and go back outside. Me and y/n look terrified and try to forget what we saw while walking home. Suddenly, we see thisguy137! Of course we start confronting him. "Why do you always wear the hat?" "Can you sing?" "Where have you been?" we both ask him. He replies with, "Okay, my hat is not for questioning and I've been playing pokemon go! look! an igglybuff! ahem, and yes i can sing of course, why do you ask?" It's like a gear was shifted in our heads. Who can sing? Taylor Swift, Olivia Rodrigo, Billie Eilish, Ayesha Erotica, Ice Spice, well no, Ice Spice can't sing! She can barely rap. "Sing for us!" I say. y/n joins in on me. "Sing Rock Your Body by Justin Timberlake!" He lets out a sigh, and begins singing the main chorus. "Don't be so quick to, walk away. Dance with me. I wanna rock your body, to the break of day. Dance with me," his voice illuminated around the room. Its like if an angel were singing. After he finished he took a big breath. My mind started wondering to who he might be. "Thanks! Anyways we should get home. Bye thisguy137!" We waved at him and then left.

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We arrived home and I put my jacket on the hook near the door. Zooble comes out of their room and looks at us. "Oh your back. My girlfriend just left a couple minutes ago. Did you see her?" We hadn't so y/n shook their head no. "Huh weird. Hey I have a movie on in my room, you guys wanna watch it with me? Its the new hunger games movie." We agree and go to zoobles room. We start relaxing and watching the movie until we eventually get tired. Y/n picks me up and carries me to their room where we began to ponder thisguy137. "Bro he sung like an angel!" I say to y/n while changing. "Yeah. He kinda sounded like Taylor Swift or Olivia Rodrigo. " y/n replies. "plus he's always doing something that causes him to leave. Should we... try to figure out who he is? I mean I could be wrong but you never know." Y/n seemed excited about the idea so we began researching all about Taylor Swift and Olivia Rodrigo. All the evidence pointed toward thisguy137 being Taylor Swift. We both knew that tomorrow was gonna be the day they learned the truth.
As soon as we saw him at the grocery store we ran up to him. In synchronize we both yelled out at him, "ARE YOU TAYLOR SWIFT?!". He let out a sigh and responded with, "Well, you two found my secret. i AM taylor swift,". We were ecstatic. "Can we have an autograph?!" "Can you sing shake it off for us?!" "Can we come to your concert?!" We both squeal like little schoolgirls fangirling over a kpop idol. "Here, you two" thisguy137 hands them both concert tickets and an autograph. "Well, I've got a show in Tokyo that I need to get to. Bye y'all! Don't forget to party like it's 1989!" thisguy137 then drifted away to the grocery store exit and into the sky. A single tear stains my face, as I know we probably won't meet again after the concert. We wave at him and head home.
We get there and get greeted by zooble again. "Hey." They say to us. I wave at them and go back to y/n's room. We hang up the autograph like its the fucking mona lisa, frame and everything. "Say... when are we gonna get the time, and, more importantly the money to go to Tokyo?" I say to y/n. They just smirk at me and mumble, "I have my ways" in a mischievous tone.
We soon find ourselves standing outside of Obama and Harry Styles house wearing ski masks and wielding bats and bags. "Are you sure this is a good idea?" I mumble to y/n a little unsure about the idea. "It's not as hard as you think it is." She says reassuringly to me. We both sneak around the side of the house after jumping the fence. I look over the yard and motion back to y/n clear and to move forward. We move cautiously in the yard, mostly staying close to walls and out of the view of windows. I go up to the porch and look through the glass door. Through it I saw... anthropomorphic animal toddlers. But they were all staring at a screen projecting an image of... me? They were teaching these children to hate me! How cruel. It was pretty loud so nobody noticed when I opened the door and entered with y/n behind me. We go to the other side of the kitchen where nobody will see us and start rummaging through the drawers for some money or at least something we can sell for a quick buck. All I found in the drawer I was looking in was a mai waifu cosplay, pomni cosplay, butters cosplay, and a unicorn bikini. Seriously, who keeps their cosplays in their kitchen drawers? weird. We continue to search but find nothing. Then I see a small trapdoor. That must be their basement! I motion to y/n to enter the basement. We enter and look around, not even caring if we are heard because the basement walls were soundproof, right? I continue to look until I find a box. I open it to see tons of money! We've just struck gold! Suddenly I hear the door creek open.

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I threw y/n and myself behind the mountain of boxes, but it was too late, and we had already been seen. "Hello? Who's there? What are you doing in my house?!" It sounded like Harry Styles. I wanted to get behind him and take him out quick with my bat, but that wouldn't be the best option at the moment since he might be wielding a hidden weapon. "I said, who's there?!" Next thing I knew y/n had already took him out, yet I heard fast footsteps. His unconscious body hit the ground and Obama ran in with all of the anthropomorphic animal toddlers following behind him. They all started attacking me, pain surging through my body with each blow, before y/n takes out Obama. The toddlers loom over Obama like flies, trying to bring him back to consciousness which left me and y/n just enough time to grab the money and get out through the trapdoor leading to the backyard. From there, we left the same way we came.
The walk home was awkward, and mostly silent before y/n spoke up. "I'm sorry Jayden, I didn't know all that would happen." I sighed, then replied with, "It's fine. At least we didn't get hurt, and now we can go to Tokyo!". That was the one good thing about the situation.
We entered the apartment once again and go to y/n's room and open their computer. We then start looking for flights to Tokyo, Japan so we can see thisguy137/Taylor Swift. I see a good deal, but I check the bag to make sure we had enough to which we did. We add hotel prices, food, transportation, whatever you need, and everything is perfect. We book everything, and begin to relax. Y/n lets me use their shower and everything is good. Honestly, everything is going pretty good. We play some video games and snuggle up to go to bed. We said goodnight and went to sleep.

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"WAKE UP!" Zooble kept repeating in a panicked and loud manner until we woke up. The minute I got up they pointed to the tv. I drowsily looked at it, not understanding the gravity of the situation until I read the words on screen. "THIS IS A NATIONAL SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT. A CODE 7789 HAS BEEN INITIATED UPON THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. ZOMBIES ARE ARISING FROM THE DEAD AND PEOPLE ARE DYING. STAY IN YOUR HOUSE AT ALL TIMES AND KEEP YOURSELF SAFE WHILE WORLD CLASS SCIENTISTS FIND A CURE. PROTECT YOUR LOVED ONES AND KEEP RATIONS PROTECTED. MAY GOD BLESS AND PROTECT THIS NATION." Flashed on screen as the amber alert sound played. This was terrifying to say the least. Y/n woke up too and read it. They looked terrified as well. "Oh my fucking god..." I say shakenly. We all get up and run to the kitchen, grabbing whatever food and water possible. I also grab my phone and notebooks. We then all rush out in our pj's to the apartment complexes tornado shelter. Apparently everyone else thought the same though it was pretty big so it wasn't too crowded. We unloaded our food into the big pile by the stairs and went to a corner of the room. Eventually Zooble found their girlfriend and they huddled together trying to make light of the situation. Me and y/n tried to do the same. Suddenly we hear someone clap and the room goes silent. In a loud, preacher voice, a man said, "Everyone! This is a time of crisis. A time of need. But that will not dampen our spirits. We will make it through this and survive! No matter what it takes!". After he said that everyone started clapping including ourselves. He was right. We are gonna make it through this. Everyone starts discussing rations and blankets and such. We have enough food to last us a month, but they might need people to go and scavenge for more. When asked for volunteers me and Zooble both raised our hands. "Alright Zooble and...?" "Jayden." I respond to the person taking volunteers. "Zooble and Jayden!" Everyone claps at our bravery to volunteer. I take one of my notebooks and jot down that I am now a scavenger. I then check my phone and see posts all about it and people in other countries worrying about it spreading all over the world. But there were surprisingly zombie apocalypse deniers?? It's like covid all over again. "Hey guys I'm gonna peak out on the ground, K?" I call out to my group. They gave me a thumbs up and I stepped up the stairs and peaked out of the door. Everything looked relatively normal except litered with zombies. I quickly closed and locked the door in fear of them noticing me. I went back down the stairs and saw people setting up the tv someone brought in. "Hey guys, can I help?" I said to them. "Yeah, sure. Grab that red cable and put it in the insert right there," he points to a hole on the back of the tv before continuing. "And that'll probably be the most help we'll need." I do what he says and smile at him. I go back to the group and see people making make-shift weapons out of basically anything and writing protocols incase zombies were to get it, floods, starvation, etc. Some people were calling their families and making sure they are ok. I walked to the other side of the room where people were setting up blowup mattresses and yoga mats to sleep on. I helped them blow up some mattresses to which the children would be sleeping on. I got back to y/n and we talked for a bit. Suddenly we heard another call from across the room. "Hey guys! There's an update!" We rushed over there and we huddled with everyone around the tv. "PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT. UPDATE: ZOMBIES HAVE INFESTED IN COUNTRY, CLAIMING ALMOST EVERY SPACE. STAY SAFE, AND IF YOU CAN, LEAVE THE COUNTRY." That was something we can't do. "MAY GOD PROTECT AND BLESS THIS NATION." Everyone, still scared, goes back to their groups. I try to get comfortable on the yoga mat with y/n and we eventually go back to sleep.

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When everyone woke up it was already midnight. I checked outside and it was still littered with zombies. I jotted it down, and started to talk to Zooble and Gangle because y/n was still asleep. Me and Gangle still acted like nothing happened, but there was some obvious tension between us. Obvious tension Zooble was oblivious to. Suddenly we heard a screech from across the room. "A wolf got into the food!" Someone yelled. Everyone rushed over there and we looked at it. The only things left were the canned food and bread, but still not enough to keep everyone in the whole bunker fed. Looks like we are gonna have to go out. Me and Zooble look at eachother and nod before going over to the weapon area and picking up one of the makeshift weapons. Everyone nodded at us and wished us luck before we headed out of the bunker. The once lighthearted and neighborly place had turned into a dark mess littered with zombies. We ran as fast as possible, avoiding them and trying to find an abandoned supermarket or something. We continued to run until we eventually reach a dead end. Zombies started creeping in slowly and me and zooble hugged eachother, expecting the worst. They kept getting closer until…

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They lifted me and Zooble up? And then they started singing?? Me and Zooble looked at eachother confused as shit. The zombies started doing tricks and it was like we were in a music video as an unrecognizable song started playing. They were bouncing all over the place and suddenly the cheerleaders from chapter 4 came in too! They were all bouncing all over the place, some girls in bikini's humping the male zombies, and even the females too! This is some lesbian action going on! Then a male zombie started rapping and spitting bars as cool effects flung everywhere. A bunch of zombie girls and cheerleader humans started twerking on me and Zooble in the background. After the music video eventually finished they released us and waved bye, one of the cheerleaders blowing a kiss to me flirtatiously. I blush a bit and she giggles. Me and Zooble continue our journey to try to find more food. We scour the wasteland that was once y/n and Zooble's apartment. There was trash everywhere and a couple dead bodies. We walk into Zooble's room and find 2 zombies fucking on the bed! And it's like hardcore! And worst of all, it's gay! We slowly close the door and I turn to Zooble. "I am so sorry that that is happening on your bed." I say to them. "Oh yeah no whatever." They respond and we continue searching the apartment. We find some canned coffee and a little soup, but nothing much more. After we finish looking around we left. We ran outside of the main grounds and into the forest. "What made you think that there would be food here?" Zooble says to me. "It just seems safer then back there. Many places to hide, you know?" We just continued to run until we heard a bit of rusting from a bush nearby. I signal to Zooble not to move and to be quiet. I slowly approach the bush and raise my weapon. Suddenly, a bunny pops out! I swing my weapon, killing the poor thing. As blood pours from the already dead creature I feel a twinge of guilt. I bite my lip in an attempt to fight the urge to cry. Instead, I turn away and back to Zooble. "Nothing of a threat." I say, in the most monotone voice I can muster. "Wait Jayden!" They grab me and throw themselves into the ground far from where I was standing. "What was that for," I mumble while rubbing my head. I look up to see a zombie that was right behind me. I now am extremely thankful to Zooble, but don't say anything for the panic of the situation. I grip my weapon and try to get up. Everything just got more tense. I bring myself to my feet and try to run at the zombie. I got a single swing in, but it was not enough to take it out. I then took a swing at it's legs and it falls. I reach out for Zooble to take my hand and we ran out of the forest as fast as possible. "That was definitely NOT safe Jayden!" They say, obviously annoyed. "Well like I'd have known that!" I respond through pants. "Still... thanks for saving my ass." "Yeah whatever.." They grunt. We've managed to run to the other side of the forest opposite from the side the apartments were on. We find a small building, and I take a small peak inside. Some cute video game music starts playing and we hear a voice. "hOI! welcome to... da TEM SHOP!!!" We look around and identify that it is safe. We get the option to pay for the creatures college. "Hey, yeah do you have any food?" I ask her. "oHHH yeAhhh, herE u goEz!" it hands us some spider looking candies. I give it all the money we have and then we leave. I stuff the candy into my bag. "At least it's something..." Zooble says to me. We spot an abandoned super market and look at eachother like we've just hit the jackpot. We go in and we are greeted by 2 zombies. We take them out quick and look around the shelves for something. We were right- we had hit the jackpot. We found enough food to easily last us around a month and leave through a back window. We attempt to run through the forest once more, Zooble almost outrunning me. It takes a while and we both run out of breath before reaching the end, so we decide to camp out in a tree for a bit. I take my bag and swing it over the branch of big redwood tree. I then climb up with Zooble following after me. I give them and hand getting up there and we just sit there resting our bodies and panting. Around 30 minutes later we get up and start heading home again, this time only a mild walk. We finally get back to the apartment area and go down the stairs to the bunker.

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Y/n runs up to me and squeezes me tight. "I was so worried!" They say to me. Gangle goes up and hugs Zooble as well. I look around and the room and everything seems about normal. I drop the bag next to the staircase and hug y/n back. They kiss me on the cheek and I look at Zooble. "Hey, thanks for saving me Zooble." I say to them. "Yeah, whatever." They respond. They go back to their corner and talk with their girlfriend. We go back to our corner and start talking. "You know, I haven't seen Obama or Harry Styles in a while, where do you think they might be?" Y/n says. I respond with, "I don't know, probably planning some way to get back at us or something.". "Yeah probably." I look over at the tv, it's playing pj masks. A bunch of kids and some teenagers are watching it. One of the kids moms in the show appears on screen. My nipples get hard looking at her. Suddenly, I hear a scream from one of the people! A zombie had gotten into the compound and bit someone! One of the attempted to bite someone else but was thrashed with a wooden stick. The zombie immediately attempted to bite the person who hit it. The other zombie was biting as many people as possible. Zooble declared that our group needed to move out because it is not safe here. I ran and grabbed a couple weapons and grabbed y/n. We left the bunker and ran through the forest. We ran to the abandoned store we found earlier, but it had been taken over by a hoard of zombies. We continue to run deeper then we did our first time, eventually finding an abandoned treehouse. We climb up and rest. Through pants, Y/n says, " Oh thank god we got out. They might've already gotten infected.". Zooble nods, and Gangle does too. "Yeah, we might've been dead by now if we hadn't left. Though, I feel guilty just leaving them there." I say. I look out at the forest. Seems pretty empty. I hold y/n close as we attempt to sleep.
When we awake I get up and look in my bag. "Alright who's going hunting?" I go dibs not it and everyone but y/n put their finger on their nose. "Sorry babe." I say to them with a smirk. "Yeah yeah whatever." They roll their eyes to me. I toss them my weapon and game bag as they head out of the treehouse. "Man I hope they'll be alright" I say. "You know what? Fuck it, I'm going with them." Says Zooble. They immediately take their weapon and go with y/n. What girlfriend I am, leaving y/n to go hunt. Now it's just me and gangle.

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I look at Gangle and she looks away. I do too. I don't want to confront her about this but it seems I might have to. But what do I do? What do I say? "I DONT ACTUALLY LIKE HENTAI! HENTAI IS FOR PERVERTS!" I blurt out. She looks stunned. Not the perfect choice of words but it works. "Yeah I kinda figured. You don't look like the type to objectify women, which was why I got so surprised when you said that." Damn. "damn." Suddenly we saw a zombie! Thankfully it didn't notice us so we remain silent. We don't have any weapons so this is our only option. But then... IT STARTED SERVING CUNT! LIKE LOOK AT HIM HES FUCKING SLAYINGGGG!!! Like he didn't just eat... BRO DEVOURED😍. We stared in AWE! We looked at eachother, and then back at him. Suddenly, he looked up. Our awe turned to fear and our eyes locked. Gangle wrapped around me and held so tight I couldn't breathe. "Don't worry dolls you're safe with me!" He says to us. We look at each other and nod before getting down. "ANYWAYSSSS got any HOT GOSSIP?" He says to us while waving his hand. "Not really, sorry." I say to him. Gangle nods in agreement. "Damn, that's not hot. Anywayss where you guys heading to? You guys dating?" "Uhh nope." I say to him. "Our girlfriends are out hunting." He looked at us with a smirk. "Ooh! Your girlypop? Don't worry doll I respect everyone." He's a zombie but he's so... nice? That's so weird.... Is he really infected? Nahhh he can't be...
After a while of walking we run back into Zooble and y/n. They look at the zombie and look terrified. They raise their weapons and me and Gangle shout. "Wait! He's friendly!" I say. Gangle nods aggressively. "Yeah! He won't hurt us." Zooble and y/n look at him suspiciously but don't attack him or say anything. We continue to walk back to the save area, discussing rations and such.
Turns out- the save area isn't really safe. There were zombies climbing up and taking our food when we got there. We raise our weapons before the zombie on our side says something. "Woah guys! Don't worry, I know them." He then calls out to them. "Hey Chad! Hey Brad!" They immediately stop and look back at our zombie. "Oh hey Albert!" They call out back to him. Apparently his name is Albert. "That's my friends stuff, you mind not taking it?" "Oh doll you should've just said so!" The zombies immediately get off and hug Albert. We climb back up and grab our stuff. We look at Al and invite him to join us. He nods and climbs up too.

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We sit around and eat the food in silence. I try to offer some to Albert but he denies it. "We've already covered this land, so I think we should head out." Zooble says. I think that might be the most sensible thought we're all having. Everyone nods and I add on to it. "In the morning?" Everyone nods once again and we settle down to sleep.
We wake up and begin packing. I jump down from the base and the others do too. Albert looks down and fidgets with his belt loop. "Something wrong Al?" I say to him. "Nothing." He says blankly while looking down. I worry for a second but shrug it off. Zooble passes me the big weapon and takes the smaller one for themselves. Our goal is mainly to protect y/n and Gangle. We leave the area and begin patrolling the unexplored parts of the forest. We find nothing, and continue out of the forest into the abandoned cities. There are zombies, but they leave us alone because of Al. If not for him, we'd be nothing but a small snack to them. We keep going while being weary of others in case they change their minds. I stay attached by the waist to y/n, and they do the same. We don't fit in here. If we weren't with Albert we'd be fighting all of them off and possibly dead. These "people" would kill us in an instant if they wanted to. We stop by a convenience store and take all we can get, so it'll last us about a mouth say there are no inconveniences. We head back into a dark alleyway that leads us into another forest. Here, hopefully, we won't need Al's charisma to stay alive. We look around and admire the natural beauty that hadn't been tainted by humans yet. I look around the forest and no base is in sight. We continue to patrol in some way hoping to find a viable place to stay. In the forest though, we find an abandoned shed. We look in there and see mold. Absolutely not. We have to keep going. Me and y/n are still attached at the hip, and I feel a slight burning pain in my legs. This is totally gonna make up for me missing my daily walk for a while. We pull up to a house in the middle of the forest. At this point everything had been silent other then the sounds of our footsteps and occasional grunts, but the lights in the house were on and we heard singing. We knock on the door and a sweet middle aged woman opens the door. She looks at the state of our team and lets us in without a word.
We sit on the couch as she asks us how we are, offering medicine and such. I look over at Al licking his lips but dismiss it. Me and Zooble tell her our story, and she offers us a bed to sleep. We accept it and go to the room she offered, to find Harry Styles and Obama! They look surprised to see us but don't say anything. We go to bed and finally get a peaceful slumber.

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We wake up to the sounds of screams. I get up out of my bed and go to the kitchen to find Albert munching down on the sweet lady as she screams in agony. I pull him off of her but its too late. Zooble wakes up and realizes whats going on. They grab the kitchen knife on the floor that had seemingly been dropped by the lady and repeatedly stabs Albert. He yelps out before going unconscious, leaving a pool of blood. "We gotta get out of here" Zooble says to me. The others haven't woken up yet, so that's what we need to do. We go into the room everyone was sleeping in and wake them up aside from Obama and Harry Styles. After explaining the situation we all discuss what to do with Harry Styles and Obama. "We could just leave them here. You know what happens when we bring enemies along," Y/n says. "But they could be powerful allies," I say. "How do we even know they'll want to be allies? How do we know they won't betray us?" Says Zooble. Gangle seems awfully quiet. "We'll have them at gunpoint. Never let them out of our sight. Forced allies, but allies none the less." I suggest. Zooble looks conflicted for a moment, then sighs. They nod and Y/n does too. "What about you Gangle?" I turn to look at her. "What do you think about that plan?" She looks up from fidgeting with her ribbons. "Sure," She hesitates. "I guess." We all nod in agreement and begin to plan when we'll wake up Obama and Harry Styles, moreover, how. We construct a way we're gonna do it.
Zooble smacks Harry Styles on the side of his head with a medium sized wooden spoon. He cries out as he's being woken up. "Hey! What was that for!? Who are you?!" He rolls around a bit before fully waking up. Zooble extends their arm and gives it to Harry Styles to shake. I forgot that they've never met before. Harry Styles doesn't shake their hand. Zooble retracts it and begins to speak. "I'm Zooble. Your Harry Styles. Lets get one thing straight. We aren't friends. We never have been and we never will be. Your gang will team up with my gang whether you like it or not. Deal?" Harry Styles slowly processes the information then nods. "Good because that was a rhetorical question. If you said no we would've killed you." Zooble responds. "Go easy on him man." I say while putting a hand on their shoulder. Y/n is the one in charge of waking up Obama, and is a little more blunt in their approach. "If you don't join us we're gonna murder you. Got it?" They hold a knife to his throat as they wait for an answer. Obama nods quickly and we leave the room. We all pack everything we have and exit the cottage. While walking outside, I hear a cluck from inside Obama's bag. We all stop and demand him to open it. He refuses, until we pull out an axe. He then opens it up to see a little chicken. "abandon it." y/n demands him. He sighs, and wipes a tear from his eyes before taking the chicken out of the case and leaving it there. It had begun to hit autumn, and the leaves around us were turning pretty shades of orange and red. We keep walking, not exactly knowing our direction, just hoping for somewhere safe. We eventually get to a stop to rest near an abandoned hospital. We drop our things and sit down leaned against a tree. "Man that was a long walk" Harry styles says. "Well get used to it." Says y/n.

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With these new-found (and forced) allies we thought we could finally sleep easy, but we were wrong. I woke up in the middle of the night covered in sweat. I could hear the thundering of the sky and I could tell the others hear it too. The ground shook slightly and I grabbed our stuff. Gangle was still asleep so Zooble went to wake her up. "Alright, where are we gonna go? We're stuck in this forest with no shelter." Y/n says. "At this point, we just have to pray we find some. Lets get moving." I respond. We soon head out. Its still quite dark and estimated a couple hours from dawn. It isn't raining, just thunder, which is still very frightening. My body still aches with sleepiness, causing me to be slower then usual. The thunder is slowly becoming more frequent, and the group becomes silent to listen. "This isn't good, we need to move quicker," Zooble says. I try to move quicker but also try to avoid over exerting myself. Harry Styles and Obama have remained quiet the whole time with good reason. I realize something. I haven't actually gotten good sleep in a long while. Once this is all over- if it does eventually end- I'll focus on that. But I'm slightly becoming doubtful that there will ever be an end to this nightmare. We continue going deeper into the forest as the thunder gets harder and we start seeing tiny flashes of light in the sky. The group is huddled together, keeping in a steady pace. We trek through the thick lush and the people at the front, me and Zooble, sweep away the branches for the others. Nobody speaks, we have to save our breath to walk. Suddenly I hear a yelp from the back. Everyone stops walking and we look to see Harry Styles on the floor. He had an injury of some sorts, but it was too dark to see what happened. "I'll get him," I say, going to the back and picking him up. He was surprisingly very light, or I was just really strong. I looked at his leg a bit and saw blood. I get down on my knees and take off my belt, securing it around his pant leg in hopes of stopping the bleeding. I then pick him up again and begin trying to catch up to the group. Y/n has taken my place at the front and is slowly picking up the pace. Harry Styles still clings to me, giving small whimpers every so often from the pain. I feel a slight drizzle coming in and sense the air getting cooler. The group starts going faster, and I begin to fall behind. At this point I am fully awake. We start to see shelter in the near distance and I feel a slight bit of relief, but not completely. We rush to the building, and see its the entrance to a town. We enter into the town and look around. The town was rather bare, but there were no zombies in sight so we came in. "Is it possible to find the nearest hospital?" Gangle asked. "That would be the most smart option, yes." I replied. The pavement was cracked and the buildings looked old, but the town had a certain peace to it. We continue walking until we reach a big building. We enter and only see a couple people inside. They're probably janitors, cleaning up before everyone gets there. We walk in and they're quick to notice us. They run up to us and begin examining how we look. "Are you ok? What happened? Where are you from?" They bombard us with questions. Zooble explains that we need to go to the hospital and they offer to drive us. We all look at eachother a bit iffy, but 6 v 1 would be an easy fight for us, and the man has good intentions. He directs us out to his car and we all get in. Because of the limited seats, Harry Styles has to sit on my lap, and Obama on Y/n's.
After a quick drive they drop us off and we get out. We go in and ask for medical attention for Harry Styles leg. They take one look at all of us and take us all in, despite our protests.

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It felt so nice actually resting while clean and in no pain. I told the hospital I had no injuries, but they took me in anyway. The hospital was clean, like a break from the outside world. I've been to a hospital before, but this experience isn't quite like that. I wake up from my deep slumber in the hospital bed. I sat up in my bed and immediately laid back down. I wasn't ready to be awake yet. I looked at the clock on the wall. 3:36pm. I sighed and closed my eyes again.
A couple hours later I woke up to food. The nurse gives it to me and I start taking small bites out of it. She also checks the wires hooked to each of my arms. Her touch is soft and gentle, her movements very intricate. I look at her face, she's very pretty. After she finishes she smiles at me. "Enjoy your food, sweetheart." She says to me before leaving the room. Her words make my heart flutter and I slightly feel myself blush. I shake my head to clear my thoughts before I continue to eat. No one will come busting through walls, I'm safe here. Truly safe.
A couple hours later a doctor comes in to tell me I'm being discharged soon, but I'm not ready to leave the nurse. I change out of the hospital clothes they've given me and slip on my clothes I had before, yet they were clean and the rips were all gone. I exit the hospital room and see the rest of the gang. I go up to y/n and jump into their arms, almost tearing up. She wraps me in a warm embrace and kisses my cheek lovingly. We exit the hospital and begin our journey onwards. I feel a twinge of guilt for my feelings towards the nurse, however I attempt to ignore it. I cling tightly to y/n's side. We all walk out into the street which is now populated with lively people. We continue out of the town back into the thick evergreen with me and y/n leading the group. We find a shelter not too far from the town that seemed uninhabited, so we claimed it as our own. It was a small shed, which has had a satanic symbol and a gang name spray painted on the east side. It looked dirty, old, and unstable, but it was better than nothing. We went inside and looked around for what space we did have. It looked like it could last us for a bit, so we stayed. I slouch into a sitting position near the wall and y/n gets down too and wraps their arms around me. I lean into their embrace and sigh.

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The sun is peeking through the cracks in the roof and the air smells like dirt. "You know, you'd get along so good with my brother." Y/n says to me as they rest their head on my shoulder and intertwine my fingers with theirs.
"I didn't know you had one," I say while ruffling up their hair.
"His name's h/n. He's about 2 years younger than me. You remind me of him. You both have a similar... feeling, you know?" I mumble out a mhm and scoot a bit closer to them. Guilt looms over me, however I try to ignore it. "He's been my best friend since middle school. I never had many friends, I was more focused on academics. Did you know that about me?" They nuzzle into my neck.
"I didn't. I also didn't know you cared about things like academics."
"I don't. It was mostly my parents that were worried about it. They wanted me to grow up to be some doctor or something, yet here I am." They tighten their grip on my hand.
"Well, good to know I have a smart girlfriend, heh." I say to try to lighten the mood. They just sighed.
"When will the others be back?"
"I'm not sure sweetheart. Should be anytime now."
"Maybe we should go look for them?"
"I'm sure they'll be back soon."
"If you say so.." they yawn and I wrap my arm around them.
"We've had a long couple weeks," I pulled them into my arms and onto my lap. "Why don't you take a nap?" They without a word snuggle up to me and soon later I hear light snoring. I tuck a strand of hair behind their ear.
Zooble and the rest of the gang walk in. Y/n is still sleeping peacefully in my arms. They drop a bag of supplies near the door. "Where'd you get all this stuff?" I ask Harry.
"Oh, you know. Places."
"There was an abandoned factory nearby. I think we should move there." Zooble adds.
"Alright. Today or...?"
"Yes, today."
"Alright." I peacefully wake Y/n up. I grab my weapon and we begin heading out to the factory.
With every step I take there's a metal clanking sound that echoes through the hollow space. We entered through a broken window because all of the other entrances were blocked off. Randomly I heard Obama having a violent coughing fit, most likely because of the significant amount of dust floating around. Harry patted him on the back. "JAYDEN-!" y/n yells out before tackling me and pushing me on the ground. The shock and pain of my back hitting against the metal ground leaves me stunned. I then hear a loud crash that shakes the ground.

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We clash into the ground and I feel my body pulsate for a moment. Then, a catchy beat starts to play, and smoke surrounds me and y/n. Pink and Purple lights start flashing everywhere and I rub my eyes.
“5!”
“6!”
“5 6 7 8!”
The smoke starts to dial down and we see the cheerleaders all in cute flashy pink outfits. One starts to sing solo, yet eventually the others join all together in a sweet symphony.
“I could be the one, or your new addiction
It's all in my head but I want non-fiction
I don't want the world, but I'll take this city
Who can blame a girl? Call me hot, not pretty” Instead of cheer routines they begin dancing in a k-pop type manner.
“H-O-T-T-O-G-O you can take me hot to go!” They made the letters in a line, spelling out hot to go, then, the music stops and they maintain an idle pose.
“Hey guys! Long time no see?” The leader says.
“Yeah actually! Weren’t you with the zombies?” I respond.
“Oh yeah, but we decided to say our goodbyes and become a girlband! How was our first performance? It wasn’t our song, but we wanted to work on our dancing skills first.” One of the cheerleaders-turned-girlband members started twerking in the background.
“Oh hell yeah that was great!” I complimented. They looked at me, but then turned to Obama and Harry. As soon as they did so their expressions quickly turned sour. “Oh no no don’t worry they’ve turned nice!” I say quickly in a slight panic.
“You sure?”
“Yes I swear!”
“Alright then.”
“I don’t think we’ve ever told you our names,” The leader of the girlband said. “I’m Lucia!” She said as she lifted her arm up in the air and smiled. “That’s Hailey,” She said, gesturing to the first girl in the lineup. She continued left to right, saying the names of all the cheerleaders. “That’s Alissa, Milo, Kaylee, Ariana, and Patricia, but Patricia prefers Trixie.” Kaylee proceeds to blow me a kiss, and I find my cheeks heating up. “Psst,” Lucia whispers to me, “Don’t fall for Kaylee’s tricks, she does that to everyone.”
“Got it,” I say.
“Oh hey those are the girls that invited us to be in their rap music video! What’s up guys?” Zooble says.
“Hiya Zooble!” Milo says while waving.
“Say, how do you know our names?” Y/n says.
“Oh it said it on the visitors sheet at the hospital and the rapper guys specifically wanted you two.” Ariana explained.
“Strange.” Gangle said.
“Yeah, totes dunno how they know you but whatevs.” Hailey said.
“Anyway, we were gonna take shelter in this abandoned factory, you guys wanna stay with us?”
“Oh we totes would love to but we gotta keep moving and practicing. Loves you!” Trixie said. All in synch they said “Byebye!” and waved, then all walked over to the window we entered through and left as Dying by OMFG played in the background.
We finished setting up all our stuff into a room we found and sat down to rest.
“Anyone got any food? I’m starving,” Harry Styles says.
“Yeah, here ya go,” Y/n says as they toss Harry an apple from the bag.
“Thanks,” Harry says as he takes a huge bite from the apple, a crunch sound following. I look out of the window and see that the sky has grown red with orange and yellow pigments.
“You guys going to bed soon?” I say.
“Yeah, I think me and Gangle are gonna settle down for the night.” Zooble says.
“Same with me and Harry.” Y/n responds.
“Cool, yo Obama, you wanna go explore some more?” I ask.
“Sure,”
“Sick, well, night guys.” I say to the others.
“Night,” They respond in unison.
Me and Barack head out of the factory and begin treading through the dense forest surrounding it.
“So, I heard from a couple people that you and Donald Trump had an affair?” I asked.
“Yeah, but it didn’t last.” Obama said.
“That sucks.”
“Yeah, I really miss him if I’m being honest.”
“I’m sorry man,”
“It’s alright, however what really sucks about it is that as a former president I’m expected to just get over it to focus more on important stuff. If I’m gonna be completely honest I’ve just been trying to use Y/n to get over him.”
“Wow, so all that just to get over Donald?”
“Yeah, I’m not proud of what I’ve done, quite ashamed actually. That’s why you’re the only person I’ve told really, apart from Harry. But y’know, gotta keep up the act.”
“Yeah, I know how that is.”
“Me, Trump, and Biden were all in this discord server and we’d play Minecraft and stuff all the time, but after me and Trump had the affair I was kicked out.”
“Ah, sure know that feeling.”
“Yup,”
“Maybe, you and I aren’t so different after all?”
“I guess we aren’t”

Chapter Text

Later that night as me and Obama slowly grew tired we headed back to the abandoned factory. It was about 11:04pm when me and him climbed back in through the broken window. I got a small cut on my upper wrist, but I wiped the blood off on my clothes and winced through the pain. These late December nights are quite cold, leaving my fingers numb and difficult to move. I sneak into my lover's arms and drift away peacefully.

My phone has mostly been off, since I intend to save the battery for emergencies. But this day, as I was slowly awakening I heard a soft jingle.
“Last Christmas, I gave you my heart. But the very next day, you gave it away.”
I grouchily pick up my phone and rub my eyes, staring at the notification.
“Hiya! It’s Christmas time!” The notification said.
“Christmas…?” I grumbled. “Hey guys it’s Christmas!” I said to the others once it finally hit me.
“Christmas?” I heard Harry Styles say.
“Yeah!!” I stood up, beating the wobblies.
“Well, I didn’t get anyone a present,” I heard y/n say.
“Present? Haven’t gotten a present in years” Obama said sleepily.
“Can you believe it guys? That officially marks a week and two days since the start of the zombie apocalypse! Man it sure felt longer-“ I feel my phone buzz again. And again. And again. “Hold on guys,” I take a look at my phone to see an update. “Holy shit guys come look at this, it’s important.” The others all gather around me as I open up the announcement.
“The zombie apocalypse is officially over! Cures have been registered to all current zombies. Along with this, immortality has been officially achieved!”

Woah.

“Holy fuck…” I heard Zooble say.
“That’s insane,” Gangle said.
“It’s over..” Obama said. After some processing, me and the others begin to jump for joy!
“Finally! I can’t believe it! I’m so happy!” I yelled out with excitement. I hugged y/n tightly as they let out a squeal of happiness. I give them a light peck on the cheek. And then, I get a text from thisguy137.