Archive of Our Own ^beta

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Ellie and Joel had been settled in Jackson for about 3ish months, and things have been going pretty smooth, kind of. Ellie has made three new friends, Jesse, Dina, and Cat. Cat might just be the prettiest girl she has ever layed eyes on, and Ellie’s seen some pretty girls. But she can’t ever tell anyone that, she can’t risk Joel putting her out.

Shes trying not to think about it, she’s running late to a hangout (one Dina very clearly stated that Ellie has to be on time for once or else they’ll drink all the liquor without her). So when she’s home alone putting her shoes on to meet up with her three friends and hears a light knock, she doesn’t have a clue who it is. Joel’s on patrol and Tommy’s at home taking care of Maria. She stomps her foot on the ground trying to get her heel into the bottom of the shoes, success! She finally gets to the door only to open it and see, Cat?
“Hey Ellie!” Cat says, her face lighting up.
“Oh um, hi Cat!” Shit, is my face getting red?
“I was running a little behind and figured we could walk to Dina’s together?” Cat looks down at her shoes. Ellie doesn’t say anything and wordlessly loops her arm with Cats, and the two make their way to Dina’s. And Ellie is most definitely not thinking about how much their arms are touching.

—

“Fucking finally,” Dina groans when to two girls make their way down the stairs into her family’s musty basement.
“Me and Jesse almost started without you,”
“Oh grow a pair,” Ellie rolls her eyes and sits next to where Jesse is sprawled out on the floor. The group passes around a bottle of tito’s from the before, and get a little tipsy.

-

“Hey me and Dina are gonna, um, go grab some snacks and stuff from upstairs,” Jesse says while basically carrying Dina up the stairs, gross. Cats replaces Jesse’s spot on the couch, but sitting way closer to Ellie. Ellie suddenly notices how hot she is and how hard it is to breathe and the freckles on Cats face and how a piece of hair is slightly bushing her face and how soft her ha- no. She needs to stop.
“Penny for your thoughts?” Cat looks into her eyes, Ellie freezes.
“Nothing,” She gets out, time seems frozen. She can feel everywhere where her and Cat are touching, their thighs, knees, and arms. Her body feels on fire.
“Ellie, tell me I’m crazy, but, do you like me?” Cat asks. Ellies whole body goes rigid. fuckfuckfuckfuck she’s never gonna talk to be again i am way to obvious what was i thinking fuckfuckfuckfuck, Ellie’s inner monologue continues until she hears,
“Fuck, no El that’s not how I meant it, i mean i like, i mean, i uh, you know,” Cat stammers, cheeks going from pink to hot red, Ellies sure hers are worse though, but regardless gets a surge of confidence, and leans in, kissing Cat, grabbing her face, Cats eyes go wide before immediately shutting them and raking her fingers through Ellie’s hair. The two don’t pull apart, and Cat leans back, pulling Ellie down on top of her, Ellie’s hands start to roam, getting lower, and lower, and lower, and low- the door atop of the stairs opens and Jesse and Dina are chatting away, Jesse holding a bag of chips, and Dina trying to fix her hair, but are looking at each other. Cat and Ellie jump apart, doing everything they can to not look flustered. Is it working? Absolutely not. Do Jesse and Dina notice? Absolutely not. And even if they did, they could just blame it on the alcohol. Fuck, what time is it? Ellie got scared, realizing Joel will be getting home in about, shit. 10 minutes ago. And Ellie reeks of alcohol. And just made out with Cat. Shit. She explains the situation and rushes home.

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She sprints from Dina’s house all the way until she reaches her own street, then dead stops. She can’t go home. Joel is gonna be absolutely pissed and she can’t deal with that. She goes to the next best place- Tommy’s.

—

“Well hey there, Ellie Darlin, why aren’t you at home?” Tommy raises an eyebrow at the sight in front of him. Ellie, standing on his porch step, with her hair knotted and tangled, face red, shoes untied, and her jacket halfway on her body, all accompanied by the stench of alcohol.

“I- don’t know.” Ellie says. She very much does, but she can’t tell Tommy either, but at least she won’t have to face the disappointment that she will with Joel.

“Come in, let’s chat then you need to get home missy.” Tommy leaves the door open and walks to the dining room table. Ellie steps in, hearing Maria upstairs shushing the baby.

Ellie sits, but doesn’t say anything, looking down.

“Ellie, what’s bothering you?”

“I don’t want to go home, and Joel can’t get mad if i’m here.” Ellie mumbles.

“I’m gonna pretend like you don’t smell like the inside of a tito’s bottle right now, because we both know that hasn’t stopped you from going home before. What can’t you tell Joel?” Tommy raises an eyebrow.

“I kissed somebody, and I don’t think i can keep it from him, even though I really want to,” She says truthfully, blushing.”

“Ellie Williams. Your telling me your here, instead of you own home, probably worrying Joel sick to his stomach, about some boy troubles?” Tommy has a teasing smirk on his face.

Ellie doesn’t know what to say, so she picks at her nails for a few moments.

“It wasn’t a boy.”

“Oh,” Tommy replies, “Ellie that still doesn’t explain why you can’t tell him.” He notices how she looks like she’s bracing herself to be hit, or yelled at, and has watery eyes.

“Ellie darlin, you didn’t think I would have an issue with you liking girls, did you?” Tommy looks a little hurt.

“I don’t know.” Ellie sobs. Tommy wordlessly stands up and pulls Ellie up to, grabbing her into a tight hug.

“You’re stuck with the Millers kiddo, nothing you could ever say, or be, will ever change that. I love you so much.” Tommy whispers into Ellie’s hair. Ellie lets out a sob.

After collecting herself, Tommy gives Joel a call to let him know that he has Ellie and she is safe, and convinces him to let him walk his niece home, but not after giving her a glass of water and a sandwich, trying to sober her up as much as possible before delivering her to Joel.

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Tommy plants his feet right before the driveway of his brothers home.

“Alright Ms. Ellie, this is where I leave ya.” Tommy says. Ellie takes a deep breath leans in to hug him.

“Thanks uncle Tommy.” She whispers into his chest.

He wordlessly kisses the top of her head and watches her until she makes it through the door, then heads home.

—

“Ellie!” Joel’s sitting on the couch waiting for her to get home when she opens the door.

“Hi Joel.” Ellie says, not moving from the entryway, staring down at her worn converse.

“Here’s how this is gonna go,” Joel stands up, he looks angry. He walks into the kitchen, Ellie follows.

He’s standing by the sink and gestures for Ellie to sit on the barstool across from him.

“First, you’re going to talk, and i’m gonna listen.”
He fills up a mug of milk and puts it in the microwave.

“Then, i’m gonna talk, and you’re gonna listen.” He stares into Ellie’s eyes.

“Understand?” He says after she doesn’t reply.

“Yes sir.” Ellie says, playing with her fingernails.

Joel walks back to the microwave to retrieve the now steaming mug. He dumps a packet of homemade hot chocolate mix, stirs it, then hands it to Ellie.

“Where were you so late after curfew?” Joel says calmly. He looks, not mad, but not happy, it’s unsettling.

“Dina’s.” Ellie says. Maybe she won’t tell him. It can wait. Right?

“Why were you so fucking late to get home?” Joel asks.

“I guess i just got caught up in the moment.” Ellie shrugs.

“Is that why you reek of alcohol? Smells like a damn brewery in here.” Joel mutters.

“Um, yeah.” Ellie looks into her mug of hot chocolate.

“Well we both know I’ve caught you drinking before, so why did you go to Tommy before me?” Joel looks hurt, and Ellie feels guilty, but she still doesn’t know if she should tell him.

Fuck it.

“We kissed.” She says, blushing like crazy, and immediately sipping her hot chocolate to hide her face.

“Who? And why does that matter?”

“Cat.” Ellie sits so she can easily run if this doesn’t go well.

“Darlin, good for you but why the hell did you have to go to Tommy’s first?” Joel looks genuinely confused.

“Cause she’s, a she?” Ellie feels embarrassed now. Obviously Joel, who took out a whole hospital of fireflies for her, took her across the country, would do anything for her, Joel, would not give a fuck who Ellie wanted to date. Oh well.

“Ellie, were you scared I was gonna not be ok with that?”

Ellie just nods and Joel comes around the counter to wrap her up in a bear hug.

“Babygirl I will always love you and whoever you love. And if that’s Cat, then so be it.”

Ellie began to sob into his shoulders, not caring about being embarrassed anymore.

“Also, you’re grounded.” Joel says into her hair. Ellie just scoffs then rolls her eyes.

“Oh sure, ground the crying kid. Thanks Joel.”