Chapter Text
Keeping my wand hidden. I wait out the next few class periods. Waiting for lunch, well, waiting to see John Proctor for the first time since the ritual. If the magic worked on Betty and Ruth, surely it worked on the boys we hexed. Afterall, John and I kissed each other once in freshman year, I don’t think he’d forget something like that.
The bell rings and I rush to the cafeteria, to the table I know John usually sits at. Sitting there waiting…longer than usual.
After a long 17 minutes John walks to the table holding hands with that Wench Elizabeth Goody two shoes. Why is he still cozying up to her? Was the spell ineffective?!?
“Hey Proctor! How’s your day going” I mustered out
“Oh hey Abbs! Same as usual I guess” the wench interrupts “We have been doing great! Johnny has been showing me how to work his family’s farm after school”
Excuse me? WHAT? Gods I should skin her alive for saying that. John used to do that with ME! And now he’s replaced me with Miss perfect Lizzy Goody. I hate her more and more with every word that dribbles out of her mouth.
“So um…John, have you felt any different in the past few days, like had any major changes in priority and interests or anything like that” I asked, subtlety is my strong suit.
“I have, actually!” My ears perk up, The spell is working! He continued “I’ve actually been getting into making Mighty Mighty Bosstones mix tapes, they're gonna make it big one day”
What?
He puts a Walkman on the table and takes out a cassette tape “Here! Listen to it, You’ll have to give it back of course”
“Yeah yeah, of course I will” I respond, half dissociating. “Hey John, there's something I want to talk about… In private”
Goody pipes in “Anything you want to say to John, you can say it to the both of us”
“Babe, Abby’s an old friend, let her have this one” my hero, John always knows what to say
“Fine, just know that I don’t trust her.” she snarled
“Woah, I’m sorry Elizabeth, but don’t you think it’s a little controlling not to let your boyfriend talk and have friends that are women? Bit Puritan for a Catholic, don’t ya think?” She scowled at me, practically shooting daggers at me with her eyes “Fine.”
She stands up and walks away passive aggressively, storming across the room, out of earshot.
“Hey John, now that it’s just the two of us there’s something I wanted to talk about”
“Yeah, I know what this is about” he sighed, looking uncomfortable. Hell, I didn’t know he could read me that easily. He knows that I love him, He knows that I hexed him, He’s probably seconds away from telling me that he hates me and will abandon me for being an evil witch.
“I heard that your sister, Betty, is in like a coma or something” he continued
“What? First of all, she’s my cousin, NOT my sister. And second of all, no, um there’s something else I wanted to discuss” I stumbled out like a buffoon.
“Oh yeah? What’s up”
“I…” I stopped myself. Every fiber of my being wanted to tell him that I love him, that we should run away with each other, travel the world, New York and London, That I wanted to marry him. Wake up every day in his arms, make him smile and laugh and vice versa.
Then my mind flashes, painfully relieving him holding hands and kissing Elizabeth Goody. The way she makes him smile, how she replaced me as a farmhand, how she’ll replace me as his wife. I have failed. I missed my opportunity to make a move and now he’s dating her. And there’s no magic in the world that can change that. I’m a failure and I will die alone. Proctor is perfect and burdened with my existence.
“Abbs… Everything okay? You went quiet” He asked, such a sweet innocence in his eyes
“Yeah, I wanted to tell you that…that I’m not a Christian anymore” What the hell did I just say?!? Is that even true? Jesus Christ is the one person who’s never hurt or abandoned me. Who am I kidding? I practice pagan rituals, I carry a wand, I cast spells. Maybe I was never a Christian.
“Yeah, that figures, I only go to the school because I’m trying to get a scholarship to MIT. I never really bought into the Puritan propaganda bullshit either”
“Wait really? Is that why you’re okay dating a catholic? You’re one of them” I asked
“I’m not really catholic either, I don’t think I believe in God or any of it, I think I'm an Atheist” He answered. How is that possible?
“Well, I wanted to tell you that I’m…I’m a Wiccan”
Without thinking I flashed my wand, inside of my coat. FUCK. What the hell did I just do?