Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

They found him again.

Just like so many times before, the team joins their efforts, their strength, their best skills put into it, to fight Sephiroth once more. This time hopefully for good.

Although that is what they thought the last time. Or the one before that.

Could he have become even more powerful in the time they have been looking for him? Or has he, in fact, grown weaker because of all the attacks he has suffered already?

Anyway, this had to end. Now.

Cloud doesn’t have to focus on his hatred to turn it into strength… It is already there. Boiling his insides. Without thinking much, he launches himself at Sephiroth again.

The memories of his movements return as if not a day passed since they last fought. It’s familiar, almost comforting, like a…

Homecoming.

The memories etch into Cloud and he cries out with anger, his focus lost for a few seconds.

He knows how to do this. He remembers and trusts his strength.

He readies his sword again to attack Sephiroth while rays of fire, ice and lightning manifest around him from materia as the others help him out.

Light glitches on the edge of the buster sword which he aims at his enemy.

Then a voice speaks.

It isn’t exactly a sound. More like a feeling.

Caressing, calming, like a hand stretched out to hold him – reminding him of a time when he allowed that. For Mom. She could be kind to him and he wouldn’t brush it off. Until a certain age, that is.

My son.

His name has no meaning. The kind smile ensures her that he would come to no harm. How could he? He is powerful.

Eyes matching his, streaked with mako. Pools of blue and green. Home. Belonging.

His brothers. 

'Mother', his consciousness answers.

'Do you see now?', Sephiroth asked him, more a statement than a question.

Yes. He saw. How could he not before?

His body, his mind holds oppportunity to greatness. He needs not fear anything, for Mother will help him if needed, and together they are invincible.

Determination twists his lips into a small smile.

His muscles tighten around the hilt as he turns around to face…

'Cloud! Snap out of it!'

The voice belongs to someone he once knew. 

Zack.

Zack… Fair… he is… his friend…

Cloud felt his eyebrows twist into a disapproving frown.

'Misbehaving.' Zack grabs his head with a painful groan.

’Zack’, several voices cry out. Aerith runs to Zack to hold his arm, as if that will help ease the pain that he is so eagerly refusing… A mistake, for it is only getting stronger.

’Stop it! I won't bow to your will… and you better let Cloud go too!’, the puppy-puppet barked at them with fake confidence. He will soon be taught his place. Cloud’s smirk widens as he feels Mother preparing to teach him his lesson.

'You. Are. Mine.' She lashes out like shockwaves. Cloud shivers as the strength of her power courses through him. He wants to laugh.

Zack growls through his gritted teeth as he drops his weapon to the ground, grabbing his head, attempting to remove the grappling hurt.

Gasps of worry rumble through the team assembled to battle them. Some of them attempt to approach Zack but they are pushed back by a large gust of wind – one flick of Mother’s little finger. They stumble and stand up, only to try – and fail – again. Typical.

’No… No, you won’t… I won’t… I won’t hurt those I love again!’, Zack raises his head finally, looking around with angry determination in his yes. ’Come and face me yourself then! I won’t fight for you!’ He screams loudly and lashes out with his sword. It touches the ground, screeching and scraping as loud as nothing he has ever heard before…

No, it is not the sword that gives the sound… It is Jenova inside his head…

Jenova.

The one Zack was cursing at. Jenova. Mysterious letters written above the door in the mako reactor. Jenova. The name of Sephiroth’s mother. Jenova. The monstrocity inside the tank. The floating pile of flesh that fell into the ground all those years ago. Whose cells they used to… to…

His hands against cold glass, Zack on the other side, trying to break him out.

Mako. Shinra. Hojo. Sephiroth.

’Mother.’ That was what he’s called her.

As Cloud’s mind raced back to that reactor, the monstrocity’s hold on him shattered. Her screams are the worst sounds he has ever heard. A writhing piece of hungry existence, feeding on their fears and desires.

This is what he called ’Mother’.

Cloud almost gags w disgust. He was feeling it. The protective palm of this goddess-like being aiding him. He was doing its bidding. He was its slave.

Is this what she is doing to Sephiroth? Only it must be way easier because Sephiroth… has always been hers. He is her son.

Cloud shudders with the sudden appearance of empathy towards Sephiroth.

’Cloud, are you okay now?’, Tifa asks, readying herself to face Sephiroth again.

’Yeah…’, Cloud replies simply, refusing to elaborate further. Let’s just forget this thing ever happened…

Back to the fight. That’s what he knows. That’s what he likes, somewhat. Success in every fleeting second, combining their strengths, their materia, their bullets, every weapon, skill and determination joined together to finally finish Sephiroth off…

And in time, his strength seems to waver. They had been fighting for long. Many times. There can only be so much power Jenova can lend him.

He does not give up easily. Cloud can sometimes feel his hurt pride piercing through his own consciousness, but closes off immediately as best he can. Letting Sephiroth control him? Never again…

As Sephiroth falls to his knees, Cloud sees his chance. The group begins to move together as one, but Cloud steps forward.

’Let me’, his dark words echo in the void.

’Cloud…’, a soft voice calls out to him, then footsteps approach as Aerith’s small hand wraps around his arm.

Cloud yanks it out of her grasp. He needs to kill this man. Yesterday. Actually, years ago.

’Cloud, I think he’s-’ Zack starts and Cloud angrily stamps on the ground as he turns his head towards Zack, an impatient question in his eyes.

Zack answers nothing, his mouth left agape and an odd look on his face as he looks at Cloud.

What the hell is wrong with them? They can finally put an end to Sephiroth once and for all, and they are hesitating? Why?

Cloud turns back to Sephiroth, who is trying to scrape the remainder of his strength and reach for Masamune.

Cloud kicks the sword away with ease.

Seconds pass as he stares at Sephiroth, reveling in the weakness in those cat-eyes and the contempt on those lips which only smirked at him with confidence before… Now he really is defeated and he knows that. No way out.

Should he say something? It's over or some other useless cliché? No. He just wants Sephiroth out of the world.

Thinking back to that moment where Sephiroth first betrayed them… when Cloud lay helplessly on the stairs, then he got up, grabbed Zack's buster sword and pushed it into Sephiroth’s chest.

'You should have died there.'

Cloud was able do it then. He was much stronger now.

The world would be safe. Finally.

He raises his buster sword.

'Cloud!' It’s the third time Zack shouts his name, but he decided not to hear the first two.

Undeterred, he points the sword at Sephiroth’s chest and lunges it forward – only for it to be met with its twin – Zack’s buster sword.

'Cloud, please, hear me out! He could help us.'

'What?'

He should laugh but…

He pants with uncontrolled anger as he turns his face to Zack again. Cloud’s teeth clench together hard, the muscles in his jaw protest painfully.

'He. He needs to die. Now!' How can they not see that? How can anyone think differently?

’He burned my village. He aims to kill the world’, he forces the words out of his mouth as if explaining to a child.

’But we have already defeated him! Look at him, he is helpless!’, Zack extends an arm towards Sephiroth barely standing on one knee, supporting himself with shaking arms, now practically growling at their direction.

’If you could turn against Jenova… maybe he can too.’

’HE IS HER SON', Cloud’s voice comes out as a loud roar, his eyes sprung wide open, his hand clutching the hilt of the sword, hungry for motion, he is so close, he cannot be stopped now, how could they deny him this… ’He…’ The air burns in his lungs as he alost chokes on the words. ’HE IS A MONSTER. HE NEEDS TO DIE.’

’Cloud!’ Zack’s voice is joined by several others. Tifa, Aerith, Barret, everyone steps closer to him, making the knot in his stomach tighter. He swings the buster sword up, towards them, in panic.

They want to stop him.

They will try to stop him.

They spring back with grunts and hiccups, ridiculous sounds of fear.

’Cloud!’ Zack’s reprimanding voice breaks through the arrhythmic sound of Cloud’s breaths.’You can do better than this. Get that bitch out of your head! We are your friends, remember?’

'That… bitch…'

The world seems hazy around him, weakness climbing up his knees, his thighs as he unclenches his hand and lets the buster sword fall onto the ground.

He is not even worthy of it.

’Hey!’ Zack grabs closer, holding Cloud before he could collapse. His hands instinctively move up to support himself on Zack’s shoulder at least, but he is far more gone… his hands only hang in the air while his head is rested against Zack’s chest.

’It’s okay. I’ve got you’, he murmurs, breaths a bit shaky, and Cloud almost melts, closing his eyes. Safety. True, real safety. Not the lie that’s extending his hold on him… He just wants it gone, he wants to be free, he wants to be himself…

Tears roll down his cheek.

’Hey!’, Zack now shouts, angrily, and pushes Cloud away, leaving him shocked and staggering, barely holding his balance.

Zack’s buster sword now clashes against Masamune. Sephiroth somehow managed to get back on his feet.

Now he is met with an array of materia and weapons again. He teleports quickly among them, surprising them with attacks from behind.

Cloud is so tired of fighting. But this is still not done.

’Sephiroth!’ Zack shouts, deflecting one of his attacks. ’Don't you remember? You used to be one of us! You were a SOLDIER… one of the best… if not the very best… you were famous and strong and loved by everyone, don’t you remember?’ Zack dodges Masamune’s slash only by an inch.

Sephiroth angrily brushes off any attack coming from Cloud or anyone else. Suddenly, the earth beneath them trembles and Cloud has to jump away lest he fall as Sephiroth raises a wall of Earth separating him and Zack from the others.

’Zack!’ Cloud, Aerith and Tifa cry out and begin to cut, burn or slash away through.

’If you hadn’t gone to that library and haven’t read those books… You… you had us… we were your friends… You had Angeal and Genesis…

Cloud cries out as the throbbing pain in his head returns. Red. Flashing. Unstoppable.

Then slowly… it seems to fade, or somehow it becomes bearable so that he does not want to tear his skin off.  

Something old and tainted wavers with a wish for vengeance.

The names invoke faces. 

Wings in the sky. Black and white, red leather with white ashen streaks, red hair with white ashen streaks, dying, decaying. It's his fault.

His fault. Lashes of a sword, easy and carefree, arrogance and pride injuring the very person he loves.

His fault.

Laughs. Dinners. Smiles and fights and victories. His hands held like they never had been before. 

Genesis smiling at him coyly, making him warm and fuzzy like nothing else before. 

Weak. But safe. Genesis pulling at his hair, the audacity he has only allowed to two people in his life. Genesis kissing him, his blood running quick with excitement… The wind rushes through his fingers as he runs after him, laughing, chasing, tackling him into the apple-scented grass. His lungs burn with exhaustion. 

He is so alive.

All of this. Taken.

His fists snap into a knot, nails digging into his palm. This was weakness. This was being a lower life Form. This was being...

'Human.' Cloud feels his lips move with the word.

Zack’s gaze jumps from one of them to the other with the same fear mixed with disgust he’s shown when Cloud wanted to kill Sephiroth.

Nevertheless, he carries on talking.

'They would never have wanted this to happen. They wouldn't want you to..' Zack's voice pierces through the memories and the green grass turns to ash amongst burning flames. For a second, Cloud sees his own house in Nibelheim, orange-yellow streaks dancing…

Mom... His head screams with pain.

Their head screams with pain.

They grab the hilt of their swords and move towards Zack. Being reminded of loss bears only one thing: rage.

'Cloud! For the love of… I swear I can’t believe this!’ Zack shakes his head, dodgins his buster sword’s twin to the side. ’Would you leave me alone for a second while I talk to Sephiroth? And you, listen to me?’ Uninterested by the fact that the attacks don’t stop, he carries on talking. ’Here’s your chance to make it right! Help us! Help us defeat Jenova!'

Defeat. Jenova. These fools believe that they can ...

'You can't… fight us forever! I... I don't want to fight you! I only do because you give me no choice! I didn't want to fight Angeal but I had to. And I didn't want to fight Genesis..'

'Zack I don't think this is working!' Tifa calls out as the two swords launch at Zack again.

‘Him. Yes. He took them from you’, Mother murmurs.

'Stop it! Damn you', Zack curses defending himself while others join in.

'I am not the enemy. Jenova. She is the enemy. And that asshole Hojo if you want to blame anyone. She… she controls you. Don't you see that? She’s been controlling you ever since you went into that library. I wanted… I tried... I tried to snap you out of it but you just wouldn't Talk to me. You wouldn't leave.’ Zack pants loudly between his words. ’You are not.... You don't have to be what she wants you to be.'

But ever since he read into those books he knew he could never be anything else… He needed to fulfil his destiny.

His eyes hurt, his body begs for sleep but no. He has to… he has to uncover the secrets so he can become what he was meant to be. Much greater. How could someone else understand? These boys may have been given a fragment of Mother’s power but they can never live up to him. And they even fight against this power. They refuse to use it. When it could set them free…  

'You can help us. You can free yourself. And the world.'

'End them. You have enough strength. With me you can overpower all of them. Follow my lead.'

The murmur. The constant murmur of thought in the back of his mind.

‘She is controlling you.’

Naturally, this is what someone who wants to deceive you would say.

So many times, Mother has made him strong. He has made Mother strong. They fought together and they moved the Earth, they controlled theme elements in a way no one else could, they breached realities and twisted time, space and material, they were the lords of the universe…

’Why are you just standing there? Why don’t we kill this motherfucker finally?’

’Barret, don’t… look at him, he is like he is… somewhere else…’

’I don’t care where he is, he should be long dead!’

’Cloud? You have a connection to him none of us do. Do you feel anything?’

’I…’

Cloud blinks, his pained gaze attempting to focus on someone. He finds Aerith’s face.

He is seeing through his own eyes, yes. But the world seems to tremble under his feet.

’You betcha he got a connection with him… he just wanted to kill us together with him twice in the past minutes…’

’It’s different now’, a calming voice reassures.

Sephiroth, for the first time, looks into Cloud’s eyes and sees himself.

Dark red hatred. The burning houses of Nibelheim. His own name, which used to be a subject of envy, wonder and adoration, now a curse.

Sephiroth. Traitor. Murderer. Sephiroth. Screamed with rage as the little boy who threw up on the chopper and drags after Zack like a lost puppy, grabs Zack's sword and launches at him.

Him. He dares...

His hands move up to his chest as if the sword was still there.

Cloud hates him. More than anything in the world. He would die if it meant Sephiroth died as well. And inside it all, behind the anger, there are the moments...before.. which he hadn’t seen in a long time…

His reluctant half smile as he poses for the camera. Tifa insisted. Zack followed. Of course Zack the Puppy loved the idea of a group photo. So why not let the villagers indulge in taking a photo of the revered Hero Sephiroth... What’s the harm in it?

Hero.

Their hero who killed them.

They were not important. They were no one.

Then why... Does it hurt... So... Much...

The screams fill his mind. Questions echo from every corner. Was it Sephiroth? Did he really do this? Why would he... He could never.. it really was him.

Recognition, disappointment and horror.

The glimpse of silver hair, turning stomachs into a knot. Black wing against the grey sky, the fuel of nightmares.

Is that how they see him?

‘That IS how they should see you.’

Us. She means us. She means... Her.

It is what She wants.

You are just a puppet, he remembers his words to Cloud. My puppet.

But was he really the one in control?

He said those words but were they really his?

Has anything been his ever since he exited that room, leaving only flames behind? 

If not... Being the son of Jenova… has anything been his… ever?

‘EVERYTHING can be yours!’, She waves through his consciousness, and for a moment his lips begin to twitch to a smile of satisfaction. For a moment. Before Zack’s words return, and the memories of those long daunting hours above dusted papers, his shaking hands, the piercing pain in his eyes, the never-ceasing dull ringing in his ears, the whispers that he didn’t even hear but more like felt… Skeleton-fingers reaching for his heart and grasping it, ice-cold, flame-hot.

This is what he has to do. This is what he was born to do. There is no other way, he has no choice, he has no choice, he has no choice…

The grasp on him tightens again, but it slips off and screeches with frustration.

Cloud cries out in pain, in the distance, it seems, even though he is standing only a few feet away from Sephiroth. Figures crowd around Cloud to touch his shoulder, his hand, to ask him if he is okay and what is happening.

'By killing all of them. By killling everything', Sephiroth answers silently.

‘YOU are stronger than them. Their little games can't make you forget who you are…’

Who he is…

Sephiroth, a deserted SOLDIER.

‘You can remake the world in your own image.’

Sephiroth, a gifted child trained to kill efficiently.

‘This planet is your birthright!’

Sephiroth, a hateful poison on Cloud’s lips, a terror that wakes him up at night, trembling.

‘Help me fight them as we did before!’

A tool. Just a tool for Her…

‘YOU WILL OBEY ME.’

This has always been who She is. It could have been different. If only he had not realised who She was. If only he had not gone into the reactor where her body was kept. Where She took him as Her slave.

Her words turn into incoherent screams as Sephiroth’s body shakes like a pawn. His expressionless eyes focus on Cloud, writhing on the ground in agony, his cries pleading for the pain to stop.

How hard it must be for him.

A small pain, though, compared to what Sephiroth already caused him and many others.

Jenova wriggles in the back of his mind, outraged at the emptiness She finds when She pierces into his mind. 

That’s right. He is a SOLDIER. He’s strong so he can stand up and face these people who hate him with every ounce of their being and their weapons aimed at him. He can stand up and walk to Cloud, who detests his presence, let alone his touch, and extend his hand to him.

’I’ll help you.’

’What the fuck?’ Barret blurts suddenly. ’Okay, I’m not buying this shit.’

’Barret, I think… I think he means it’, Tifa says softly.

Tifa. One Cloud loves dearly.

Only a soft chuckle appears in his mind at the thought, followed by numb pain. A… hiatus.

Cloud, face covered in tears, his look a mix of doubt, fear and disgust, looks up at him, supporting himself with his elbows.

’What…’, he asks feebly, then he tries to sit up with shaking hands, his gaze not leaving Sephiroth for a moment.

’Cloud?’, Zack asks with worried doubt. Everyone is on edge, ready to jump at Sephiroth at any second.

Let them if they want to, a soft thought tells him.

It would be unadvisable though, as they will not defeat Jenova on their own.

Maybe he should make the smallest attempt to convince them not to take his life then…

’I will help you fight Jenova.’

He trembles, with a groan, and Cloud twists into a fetal position. Jenova screams inside their skull, rattling the cage violently.  

The group’s hold on their weapons tighten.

’Keep it together, Cloud.’ Sephiroth tells him. He will need his strength for the upcoming trial.

Cloud’s face twists into indignant incomprehension, but he says nothing. Zack and Tifa help him onto his feet, eyeing Sephiroth suspiciously.

’What suddenly happened?’ Zack asks. ’You on our side now?’

Sephiroth takes a deep breath. ’Yes. I am.’

’Why should we believe you won’t backstab us the next second?’ Barret asks, his gun for an arm aimed at him.

’Cloud, are you all right?’, Aerith asks in the meantime. Sephiroth remembers ending her life. It appears another reality helped save her, just like Zack.

Interesting how useful this all seems now that he is…

Well, he is not entirely free. The headache gets worse every second.

’We don’t have much time.’

’What are you talking about?’ Barrett growls. ’Answer him! What the hell happened?’

Sephiroth sighs. He does owe them some kind of explanation.

’Zack is right. Jenova-’ He stops as a screech pierces through his head again. Wincing, he touches his forehead instinctively. ’…Jenova needs to be stopped.’

’Sephiroth…’ Cloud calls to him with an actual wish to communicate, the word now not burning hot on his lips. It feels alien. ’How do you do it?’

’Not easily’, he responds impatiently. ’We need to hurry.’ He looks around, meeting gazes filled with disbelief, focussing on each of their eyes as he did long ago when talking to troops under his care. ’You need to have full focus at every second. I will try to weaken her as best I can, and when she is at her weakest, we all need to strike together.’ He holds their gazes, one by one, determined, unbothered by the obvious enmity in them. ‘That is our only chance.’

Shoulders rising and falling, the team exchanges gazes of outrage and incomprehension.  

'Wait...' Barret breaks the silence that is hanging between them, heavy as a curtain, like a held-back laugh, like a held-back cry. 'Is Sephiroth ordering us around now?'
The silence indeed breaks. First Tifa laughs out, covering her mouth, face going red, ashamed and shy, then Zack laughs as well. Aerith chuckles with calm wisdom. As if she'd known all along this would happen.
Cloud is just standing and watching him, his shoulders rising and falling slowly but heavily.
'Cloud?', Aerith finally asks, placing a hand on his shoulder again.
The boy slowly turns his face to the side with a disoriented 'Huh?', glancing back at Sephiroth for a second.
'Are you with us?'
'Sure. Where else would I be?'

'I'm sorry, it's just... it's a bit crazy, you know', Tifa rushes her hands through her hair shyly, turning to Zack, facing the ground. 'I guess I am not used to... him being on our side. Do you think we can trust him?'
'I know, right? All of this has been crazy. I wouldn't believe it myself if I didn't see with my own eyes, but I think... I think he really means what he says. I mean, look at him', Zack turns to the man in question, seemingly adjusting his equipment a few meters away from them. Zack's voice holds sadness. 'He isn't like before. He is a bit like... like his old self, but also... different.'

And they're talking about him like he isn't even there.
Of course.
It doesn't matter now. In hopefully a few hours, none of this will matter.
Sephiroth musingly looks at Cloud, nestled in the presence of his lovers, surrounded by smiles and the possibility of embraces and held-out hands at every second. So much fragility. Held together by the spite against the pain of loss... loss that he has induced.
It had to be this way, didn't it? Odd that he ever believed otherwise.

Chapter Text

And they face her again. Just like so many times before. After so many struggles, months, years of suffering and losses, their combined strengths battle against a being more ancient and powerful than all of them combined.
Except... this time they have someone perhaps equally strong on their side.

Sephiroth directs them, shields them from attacks, his moves mirror those that Cloud and Zack remember from their time fighting together all those years ago. Sometimes their glances meet and just one nod is enough for the other to know what to do. Just a glance - they move together in perfect harmony. The aspiring First, and his idol. The boy who desperately wanted to be in SOLDIER  - who now has the strength of one - and his idols. His - his friends.
‘Big day tomorrow. We're leaving bright and early.’

A slight smile.

Focus, Zack.

Zack jumps from the unexpected sound-feeling. The surprise and shock certainly does not help him concentrate easily, but he gets over it since there's nothing much he can do.
Can he talk like this too?

‘What... you can do this with me now too?’

Sephiroth neglects the question.

‘Don't let her get into your heads.’

‘Well... she's already kind of there, isn't she?’

Years ago, Zack would have received an unamused look from under half-raised eyelids, or even a shove on the shoulders for this remark. Now, nothing, except stone-cold determination.

‘Remember why we're here. She has to die. No. Matter. What.’

‘I know...’

The attacks continue, and Zack refuses the urge to bombard Sephiroth with a million questions in order to experiment with his newfound ability to communicate with him this way.
It's really crazy. They just... talked, like normal people. With Sepiroth. Who is the whole reason all of them are in this mess. Who, until a few minutes ago, was hell-bent on deleting them from existence.

'Cloud, can you hear me like this too?', he asks with unmasked enthusiasm.

'Y-Yeah... But this isn't really... comfortable', Cloud responds, gently pushing him away. Images of Sephiroth engulfed in flames jump in front of his eyes and he immediately understands why it is uncomfortable for Cloud. He numbly mutters a 'Sorry' and retreats.

'Is this because of her?', He asks then, aiming to be quieter, although he has no idea how to keep a thought quiet, but he tries his best.
'Yes', Sephiroth answers, his deep and dark certainty pulling the knot in Zack's stomach and making him stop talking overall. Maybe this connection of theirs isn't natural then... it probably won't last. Shame. It would have been fun. What he wouldn't give to not have to use words with Cloud sometimes...
‘Zack.' He tenses up as Sephiroth's command grasps at his being, all too similar to the lingering presence of Jenova. ‘Focus.'
Zack complies, shivering from the feeling he is unable to shake off for minutes. He is not sure it is completely gone even then.
And after a while Zack is too exhausted to think about anything else. The next movements always require his full attention and after a while he does not even know where his consciousness ends and Sephiroth's and Cloud's begin. Fighting shoulder to shoulder, the flow of their attacks, dodges, defenses, movements pulls him to a flow he hasn't felt in a long time. He realises that a smile is resting on his face as they overcome their exhaustion moment by moment. He victoriously glances over to Sephiroth, but no gaze meets his own. Sephiroth focusses on nothing else but carrying out the perfect technique. He is also far away now that their thoughts no longer intertwined.
'Fight her', he tells them, now with his actual mouth and vocal chords, and it takes Zack a few moments to recognize the difference between this and his mind-speech. 'No matter what happens, fight her.'
'What are you-'
'In this form I am not strong enough', Sephiroth explains, and Zack remembers the weird monstrosity they fought a few months back...
'Oh... right.'
Sephiroth glances to his left at Cloud, then to his right, at Zack, meeting their eyes sternly for a few moments, his gaze a command, a promise, an offer. They nod, understanding, then step back and let Sephiroth transform into his larger form...
...which… is different from last time. Now, separated from the unnatural manifestation of Jenova, he seems smaller, weaker, but also lighter, his hair forming almost white tendrils against the magical colorful storm around them. As their forces clash, feathers from his wing descend upon those fighting below and before they disappear, Zack could swear he saw white instead of black...

Cloud pulls his eyebrows together, forcing focus on himself. His members are fully exhausted, his lungs burning painfully, his vision blurred, lights and sounds penetrating his senses, he just wants to... wants it to be quiet, and over.

'Why do you let them hurt me?' A honeyed deep accusation seeps into his soul.

'Cloud.' Sephiroth speaks his name. A command, warm and deep and somewhat desperate. 'Fight her.'

'You could become invincible. Like him. Like my son. The one you've always revered.’

'Stay with us, Cloud.'

His knees trembling, Cloud forces himself to look up at the twisted goddess in front of him. He lets materia flow at her from his trembling fingertips. The sparkles die in the air like feeble flickers of fire in the snowstorm.

'My son.'

A warm embrace closes around him. All that fire, lightning, frost and blade is directed at them, at him, and he can't help but weep from the unbearable pain. He falls onto his knees, shaking, crying out for them to stop. It burns. It burns. IT BURNS. IT DOESN’T GO AWAY.

'Do you see how they are harming me?'

It's piercing and flashing and white and red and he can't do anything but scream and wriggle and shake his chains, attempting to escape.
Mother.
Why are they hurting her?
Stop. Just stop...

'CLOUD.' A presence shrieks and echoes in his mind and he covers his ears. He won't listen. They just bring pain.
He has to... he has to stop them...

‘Lift your sword, my son. Defend me', Mother urges her, but then he hears his name again. His name. Cloud. That's him. He has to...

'Fight her. I need your help. Just a little bit longer now.'

A shroud falls around him, and he gasps in relief as the excrutiating pain is numbed. The pain was never his…

Sephiroth.

The curse-word washed out with hope.

He is so tired.

'Now give her all you've got. This is it, Cloud.'

A whine escapes Cloud's mouth as the two powers battle for control over him. Part of him wishes to leave all this behind and just let go... of everything. But the shroud and the freedom from the pain reminded him what he really has to do.

Fight her.

He grabs his sword and prepares for one final attack. His glances meet that of Zack, Aerith, Tifa, Barret, one by one, small nods reassuring him they are all in this together.

Jenova's shrieks breach his defenses somewhat. Sephiroth has done something to her that really hurt, now her pain is directed at those who share her cells. She seems to have lost her composure, her outrage echoing in their minds.

'...now.' Sephiroth announces.

As the ground crumbles and flashes of lightning collide above them, they launch one final attack.

A gigantic version of Masamune pierces the air, and without looking, Cloud feels where it is directed at.

Jenova's heart.

White frosty panic grasps at Cloud and he attempts to move, to interrupt, to do something, anything that would stop it from happening… It’s like he is falling from high up and the ground is closing in really fast, as his stomach turns into a tight knot and he pleads, with his whole being, for it not to happen… but he has no time to do anything.
His world explodes in white agony.

Stop. Just stop. STOP, he cries, no, ne doesn't, he can't move and can't speak, he is numb and curled up, but there is no way he could hide, no way he could escape it, he is a murderer, the worst of them, he never, ever deserves forgiveness but he can't just cease to exist, no, he does not deserve to escape the pain, it's his punishment now, and he will never escape, he will never escape, he killed her, he murdered her, his own-

'Cloud!'

'Zack!'

No, he mentally shakes his head, he is not here, he is nowhere, he doesn't exist. They shouldn't speak this name. That isn't him. He is a monster who killed his own-

'Cloud, look at me!'

He won't look. He won't open his eyes ever again.

Leave me alone.

'What's wrong with them?'

Worry.
He doesn't deserve to be worried about. They do not know who he is. He did a horrible thing, he...

'Cloud.'

He pulls together into a knot as the presence speaks, instinctively covering himself, as if his arms folded around his body could protect him from anything.

He knows this voice…

'It is over.' Dark grey ashes splattered above the extinguished fire.

Cloud’s lungs fill with air, as if for the first time, and he coughs, his body desperately begging for water. Someone fetches it for him, and before he knows it, they move a flask to his mouth, and he drinks, his material form clinging to life, disobeying his mind which wants nothing else then to simply… end.

He coughs as some water goes into his lungs through his irregular gulps.

The panic slowly subsides as his lungs clear out.

He realises his eyes are open, staring at a blue sky covered with a few white clouds, the sun seeping from behind them. He is on his back, now breathing regularly, air going in and out, in and out, rewarding the burning need inside him at every second.
Why is he breathing?
He has killed-

'As you had to', Sephiroth tells him. How can he… how can he say that?

“Fight her”, he remembers the command. "She will trick you and aim to stop you. She will use anything."

Cloud sees a figure sit up next to him, supported, hands touching his shoulders, his hair, he is hugged...

A figure holds out her hand towards him too. He stares at it blankly. The hand moves to his face, and while it's warm, now it feels like cold metal scraping against him.

'Cloud... please... look at me... what's wrong?', the voice sobs, Tifa's head hanging low as she receives no reply.

Sephiroth's voice breaks the silence and suddenly all the faces turn towards him as he speaks.

'It isn't pleasant...' his voice wavers and he visibly swallows, closing his eyes '...to kill one's own mother.'

The teardrop appearing in the corner of his eye already feels cold.

Chapter Text

Barret holds up his gun-arm towards Sephiroth, taking a few steps closer.

'Now what do we do with him?'

Glances are exchanged. Suspicion hangs in the air. Indecision.

Cloud lifts his gaze up to Sephiroth, his whole body shaking, unmoved by Tifa's hands warmly grabbing his own.

His. Own. Mother.

For Cloud it was not real. It was only part of the monstrous experiment he's been through and part of Jenova's manipulation, but for Sephiroth it was literally...

His fragmented power still lingered around him but he was much weaker now.

He has never been this close to being... human.
A chuckle begins to build in the periphery of his thoughts but disappears right away. He's breathing, mechanically, obeying his body's commands. It is weird. In, and out. In and out, and for a brief moment it feels like being a child, taking in the wonder of one's body involuntarily keeping one alive. For a moment, it feels safe and warm, for a moment he can lie to himself that it's alright. Just like when they fought, he could have lied to himself that it was like back then, when they were Shinra's blind employees, however, connected by something they almost called friendship, although never admittedly, never spoken out loud, but to himself he said that Zack and Cloud were his friends.
Until she...
No. There is no point blaming her now. He... he could never have been anything else. He was the son of Jenova. Maybe it could have happened otherwise, but it did not.
His shoulders rise and fall. In and out. In and out.
Genesis. Angeal. Hojo. Lazard. Glenn. Matt. Lucia. Rosen. War hero. Gifted child. Cyborg. Monster. Names and images and flashes rush through his mind and he sees them all collapse into the void that has remained from his soul.

Cloud's sobs bring his attention back to the fragment of the world in front of him. The boy looks for his gaze, drawn to it, tears streaming down his face, his soft features distorted with agony, as if asking for help, for answers, for something...
'I am sorry, Cloud', Sephiroth lets out silently, his brows turns upwards softly. 'It will soon be over.'
Worried murmurs, grunts, weapons are drawn as they approach him.
They believe what he said was a threat.
It doesn't matter anymore.
It was good... to see them again once more. To actually see them again.
If only it could be for longer.
The thought vanishes as quickly as it arrived.
The pain softens as, slowly, only silence remains.
Cloud gasps as if he couldn't catch air anymore. As if the ground shook under him again. Tifa holds his whole arm, watching Sephiroth with desperation.
He does not repeat what he said. It should be enough.
He softly lets his eyelids close. Before they do, he sees Cloud stagger to his feet in an attempt to rush to him and hold out his hand towards him.
'Sephiroth!'
His scream, which then meant "die" now sounds like "don't go". How strange.
It will be over and he won't hurt anymore.
The world will be better off. Free of a monster. Two monsters. The SOLDIER has completed his mission.
His eyes slide shut.

Sephiroth's kneeling form disappears in front of them. As he closes his eyes, only feathers remain in his place, hovering above the ruined ground, first flying upwards, then slowly descending in spirals.
Cloud collapses on the ground, face down, unconscious, his outstretched hand trapped between his body and the ground.
All of them rush to him. Zack and Tifa reach him first, instinctively calling out his name in an all-too-familiar repetition. Zack shoves away the fake guilt and pain in his heart. They turn Cloud around and he trails a few fingers across the boy's pained face, now at least calmer than before... but is he gonna be okay?
Aerith walks towards them, climbing close to Cloud's body between Zack's and Tifa's hands. She just eyes him softly, a hand caressing his chest.
'He will be all right', she says calmly, and they believe her. Tifa lets out a shaky breath and closes her arms around Aerith, pulling her into a tight embrace, his shoulders rapidly rising and falling with silent sobs. Zack steps closer and hugs Tifa from behind, resting his chin on the top of her head. As he opens his eyes, through his tears he can see the white of feathers just before they touch the ground and dissipate into fragments of silvery ash. 

Chapter Text

He needs no air to breathe. It has happened before. Dreams. He can exist underwater just fine, the brain conjures up these means to help understand the random images it encounters when let to flow freely…

Underwater, yes, it looks like it…

His eyes shut wide. He knows where he is.

He has been here before. Commanding, controlling, sending the dark shapes to do his bidding, standing amidst the dark cloud they formed, swirling, fighting their light counterparts.

The Lifestream.

His head turns around, eyes drinking in the green-blue. Incomprehensible fragments float around him, so high above, and he is so small, so tiny among them. He gasps, as a reaction, not because he needs air, just because his body is used to doing this.

Surprise. Wonder. Things he hasn’t felt in a long time.

Something makes his legs move, and he stumbles forward a few steps, drawn to explore this place.

Walking? That is possible here too?, he wonders, staring down at the light grey corridor under his feet. It tendrils up to a network above him, twists and turns wherever he looks.

He carefully starts to walk up on one tendril, his shoulders rising and falling with the reminiscence of breathing. His eyes, unblinking, scan the whirling chaos that is beginning to form into a shape of reality as he approaches.

As the corridor comes to an end, the image in front of him clears out to reveal…

…a crowd in front of him. Hundreds of Shinra uniforms looking up at him, looking up to him, celebrating him. He can feel the memories of Jenova’s urging pride, like a hand on his shoulders.

The ruler of worlds.

A perfect sword perfectly wielded by twisted minds.

He takes a few steps back before turning on his heels and running. Running, before the calling returns again and the chains pull him back.

He never wanted that. He never…

He pants. It doesn’t make sense. He doesn’t even need air, he…

Why is he even here? Why IS he still?

He looks around as if the hovering void could provide any answer.

He continues to walk along the tendrils of grey matter which provide stairs for him in the blue-green current.

He’s so small. Weak. Helpless. Light…

He looks into the doors of possibilities. One showing him having bested Cloud and his team – Cloud’s eyes locked into his, the boy hanging onto his every word, his every thought, his mind an empty shell ready to be commanded.

Just like Sephiroth wanted for a long time…

Just like Jenova wanted…

But she is not here anymore, is she?

And yet he persists…

He backs off from the vision, with one last glance into Cloud’s robotic eyes that seem to mirror his.

Moving on, he sees his past battles. Bloodstreams by his hands, countless lives taken by the hands of the child that he once was.

Syringes digging into his skin, his vision blurred, his lungs filling with striking cold air, his muscles tensing up with yet unknown strength. His wriggling stops as the pain slowly subsides. This is for his own good, they say. He must endure, to be… stronger.

Shaking, he stops. He’s been standing here, in front of this door for too long. He need not see again what Hojo’s done to him, he knows full well…

Then the image shifts.

A boy with dark red hair, looking down at him from a half-ruined building. A mocking smile on his face.

‘You won’t dare’, he announces, his grin turning taunting.

‘Gen, be careful…’ another boy calls out, standing on the ground still, his black hair tucked behind his ears.

And Genesis Rhapsodos laughs in the face of danger, his hands loosely holding onto the concrete as he aims to climb higher, up till the rooftop which he does not see is crumbling.

‘Gen!’

And Sephiroth knows what is going to happen.

He rushes quickly, even though his legs feel slow and dizzy like in a nightmare, he holds out his hand, looking up at the falling figure just before he collapses onto him.

A dark thud of pain in his head.

‘Hey, I think he’s waking up!’

‘Seph? Everything all right?’

Through half-open eyelids, he sees them. Genesis’ hand bandaged, but otherwise he is alright, healthy, his wide blue eyes staring right into his, his red locks almost reaching Sephiroth’s because this is all before he cut his hair short…

He is young, disobeying, crazy, silly and most of all alive.

They both are.

He breaths quickly, like a bird, glancing up at the sky above them, his hands reaching out to tap the concrete under him, to see if it’s real. Then he reaches up to Genesis and Angeal, touching their faces softly with either hand.

‘He’s hit his head pretty bad’, Genesis grins, and Angeal shoves his elbow into his side.

‘Ow!’

What he would have given just to hear their voices once again.

He grabs into their shoulders as his vision gets clouded by his tears. Firmly, he pulls them closer.

‘H-hey, be careful, my arm-‘

‘It’s okay, Seph, you’ll be all right. So will this idiot here, but I swear, next time you go off wandering, Genesis, I’m not gonna… hey Seph, what is it? Does it hurt that much?’

He holds the two boys tight as his whole body shakes from his sobs.

‘What the hell? I’m not THAT heavy!’

‘Genesis, you fell down a roof.’

‘…I think I’m just going to lie down. …Seph, I love you too, man, but you’re starting to worry me.’

As Genesis thuds down next to him, Sephiroth wraps his arm around him, hiding his face between the boy’s neck and shoulders.

He Is alive.

Angeal sits up next to them, and though Sephiroth cannot see his face, his chuckle tells of a smile.

‘Okay, let’s be much more careful next time and NOT try to climb a crumbling building we come across. Now come on, we’ve gotta get over explaining this to Lazard, better sooner than-‘

‘No’, Sephiroth speaks finally, surprised at the sound of his own voice.

‘Look, he’s gonna find out either way, how else would you explain Genesis’ hand being-‘

‘We’re not going back.’

‘What the hell are you talking about?’

‘We are. Not. Going back.’, he declares.

Holding Genesis tight, he collects his thoughts to tell them. It will be a long story, but they will listen. They always did. They always do.

And this time, he is going to save them. This time he isn’t going to fail. This time they’ll stay together.