Chapter Text
Kya had never given much thought to the linoleum on the floor of the number 52 train from Kyoshi Park Sub Station to Kyoshi Garden Station before.
Likely, nobody else had either.
Because why would they; it was ancient and greying, wrinkled in places, and ready to be replaced any day now.
…”Tong Square”…
Ah…yes. Suddenly it clicked, why she had felt the need to analyse this particular carriage floor on a random Wednesday evening.
They both had shared experience in being walked all over.
Damn.
Over the years, a varied selection of friends, ex-lovers, and now colleagues, had felt the need to do so. Some of them had even stabbed her in the back too for good measure, whilst they had been breaking their own in the process under the weight of their own self-righteousness. Maybe she had deserved some of it; she knew she wasn’t a saint. But this…this betrayal, from her nearest and dearest friend, had been so inconceivable, so unbelievable, that the feeling of it felt like the sum of all her previous mistreatments, doubled. Her head ached, her chest groaned, and her heart felt so bruised that she didn’t know how it was able to continue doing its job. Spirits, right now she didn’t know whether she could continue to do her job. Not in that place, and not with that colleague, anyway.
…“Yue Bay Station”…
Allowing herself to feel was so paramount to her lived experience, she knew, and yet she also understood that she couldn’t explore the full depths of her pain, whilst she was sat on the number 52 to Kyoshi Garden Station surrounded by strangers.
So, for least for the next thirty minutes, she decided to allow herself to be lost to the swirls and the scuffs and the scars in the linoleum beneath her feet. To remind herself, that at least unlike the floor below her, maybe she had a choice in who she let leave a permanent mark on her life.
In that time, the scenery outside changed from sharp steel and glass to soft stonework and lush greenery, the people around her changed from businessmen and women to children on their way home from school. The world around her softened, and despite his disinterest in looking up and out into it, she breathed slightly easier for the shift back into a world that more aligned with her own ideals.
…”Middle District and Circle”…
Nearly there, Kya cooed to soothe herself. Just one more stop until she was home and free, one more stop until she could allow her treacherous thoughts and feelings to resurface and consume her in the comfort of her own house.
Just one more stop until she would allow herself to ruminate on her place in teh medical world that had repeatedly tried to crush her, and a colleague who had secretly tried to gatekeeper her.
Oh, and only one more stop until she finally allowed herself to cry over being abandoned by Lin Beifong.
She closed her eyes quickly to stop the sharp stabbing of tears at her peripheries, that even now were treacherously close to falling onto the grey linoleum below.
As Kya allowed herself to say that name aloud in her head for the first time throughout the whole train journey, the strangest sensation crept over her. She opened her eyes to ground herself and reacclimatise to her surroundings. As she did, she became briefly aware of a pair of loafers skimming the periphery of her vision, as a warm breeze passed over and through her, ruffling the messy tendrils of hair that had fallen from her high bun. Before she could blink, a second small warm gust wafted over to her, as she felt the bench seat beside her depress slightly a few inches away.
“Good evening, Miss Kya”, someone spoke from beside her, in a tone so rich and deep and silken, that Kya couldn’t stop the whimper that escaped her lips before her eyes could snap themselves up to search for the source of the greeting.
“Ah…”, she gasped, when she finally did just that, hot tears already beading at her lash line.
Because sat beside her, in carriage C on the number 52 from Kyoshi Park Sub Station to Kyoshi Garden Train Station, sat Lin Beifong.
Lin Beifong.
Lin Beifong in all of her cold, wet, un-uniformed, messy-haired, hotdog-wrapper plastered, and braless glory.
The Chief of Police, however, was nowhere to be seen.
This was Lin, the real Lin, that she had been allowed to glimpse for the first time some thirty plus hours ago in a tiny coffee bar downtown. Before all the chaos, all of the madness, all of the life, had got in the way. Before all of it got in between them, and tried to tear them apart.
Yet, here they were, despite it all. Reunited again.
She wanted to absorb the moment fully, to truly drink this woman in in all of her chaotic glory. Yet despite this desire, she found that all she she was currently capable of was to desperately stare into the depths of those deep, worry-darkened, hazel eyes, and lament on the fact that she was truly stumped for words. Instead, she decided to try and find the confirmation that she needed right there, in irises that glimmered through the exhaustion and pupils that had blown intoxicatingly wide.
She needed that validation, that confirmation. That Lin hadn’t left her, that Lin wouldn't leave her, that Lin couldn’t possibly have done what countless others had done before, and abandon her.
“Lin?”, she breathed heavily, her voice laden with questioning anxiety. Not in disbelief that Lin had found her, though damn was she in disbelief that this woman had found her, but instead in silent questioning why this woman had left in her the first place.
Please, Lin, please, don’t hurt me, she begged internally, hoping beyond all reasonable hope that her internal cries would be caught on the warm breeze, carried up to some omnipotent benevolent presence in the sky, and be met with a kindness that she was so desperate to deserve.
“Kya”, Lin responded equally breathily. She was sure she felt the similar vibrations of a shared energy from the gently trembling woman before her.
“I…Kya, I have so much to say, so much to explain, so much to…it feels impossible to know where to…”, Lin broke eye contact, to look down at her clenching and unclenching fists.
Kya couldn’t stop the slightest uptick in her lips upon noticing the quick waterproofing job that Lin had done on her cast with hotdog wrappers. She also couldn’t stop the involuntary pang of pride in the woman at taking a small step towards a journey of self-care that seemingly had an equally long way to go as her own. Usually, right about now, she would push her own feelings aside, and reach over to her upset friend - give them the time and support they needed to process in a safe space. It took everything in Kya to withhold that urge, and put herself first. Even if this was the woman she didn’t dare allow herself to daydream about in public two minutes ago. She needed to deploy some self-preservation for once to save even a modicum more sanity in the long run.
“Okay, well firstly…”, Lin began as she shuffled backwards, slightly away from Kya along the bench, which she was sure drew a look of confusion on her own face.
“…I have demonstrated at least once tonight, that when I am around you and emotional, I am not very good at keeping my hands to myself”, Lin almost chuckled, as the beginnings of a very subtle blush blossomed on the apples of cheeks which belonged to a still very troubled face.
“Firstly…I’m sorry, for many things that have happened in the last Raava knows how many hours that I’ve known you”, Lin began nervously, but with determination, as she also continued to look down towards the same scuffed linoleum that Kya had been moments before.
“I’m sorry for approaching you like this in a public place…for following you on to a train of all places. Although these were my actions, I can promise you that this is definitely not typical of me, and that while they are still deplorable, they were done with the most honest of intentions possible”, Lin ploughed on, clasping her two hands together in her lap, still unable to look up into Kya’s searching yet hopeful gaze.
Oh, how Kya wished she would.
“Back at the hospital, you must have felt…abandoned. And I will not discredit those feelings for my own gain - I am just so desperately sorry that I was the one to make you feel them”, Lin continued, eyes now clamped tightly closed.
“I swear to you, on my badge, on my life, Raava on my mothers life - that whilst I did leave you, it wasn’t out of a desire to hurt you, or to be free of you. It sounds ridiculous, and like a truly terrible excuse excuse, but I was pulled away from you under quite bizarre circumstances…”, Lin added, who had been increasing her delivery speed with every sentence spoken.
Until now...when she paused suddenly, as though she seemed to regret opening her mouth at all.
“…you see, I ran into some misunderstandings…with your friend Kim”, Lin practically whispered, her eyes diverted even more dramatically now.
Ah. That. It was time for Kya to break her own silence.
“Lin”, she started, her mouth dry and her voice hoarse. She coughed slightly, and started again.
“Lin, of all the things to… please, don’t worry about that. I, at least in part, know about that particular situation”, Kya interjected, despite her own desires to stay neutral throughout this explanation. She couldn’t hold Lin responsible for someone else’s failures as a friend.
Seemingly grateful for the interruption of her internal monologue that she had voiced out loud inside the carriage, Lin looked up for the briefest second. It was only brief, but Kya got a glimpse of Lin’s brightening irises, suddenly more emboldened and shining with something that Kya sure hoped resembled determination.
“Well you see, despite everything that happened there…and whilst you rightfully have your own feelings towards her…I’m grateful for one thing that came from my own experiences with Kim”, Lin continued, before pausing, and finally looking up into Kya’s once more.
Lin, unblinking, seemed to stare into the very depths of Kya’s being. She looked, she stared, she gave, so much without doing anything else at all. Kya felt all at once exhilarated and terrified for what would come next.
Then Lin spoke.
“She made me realise what it was that I wanted. Not as Chief, not as a global citizen, not as a public official, but as myself - as Lin. She made me realise what it was that I wanted, because once I realised that she was trying to take that away from me, I realised that I would fight tooth and nail, hammer and tong, through flesh and bone, to earn the right to be sat here - right where I am, right now. To be sat here, right in front of you, with my soul bared and my heart spilt open - to be able to tell you…”, Lin ploughed on, inching closer and closer with every pause, until they were inches away from one another.
…”Kyoshi Garden Station”…
The train ground to a halt.
Kya couldn’t breathe, couldn’t compute what was happening to them, happening to her. Kya had looked this woman in the eyes, had drunk in every apology and every explanation deeply whilst savouring the taste of her trust, but this next bombshell?
Could Kya allow Lin to drop it, would she?
The doors juddered open.
“Kya…”, Lin started, reaching a hand out tentatively towards Kya, before allowing it to hang in the space between them, stuck between what was, and what could be.
“Yes?”, Kya whispered.
“I want to earn back the opportunity, no - to deserve the opportunity…to be with you”, Lin practically sang back at her, traces of tears welling in the corners of her verdant eyes.
She shuffled somehow even closer to Kya, until nothing but wisps of air-conditioned breeze could pass between them. Lin’s damp thigh was now pressed firmly up against her own, one that was draped in the now dry shell of the black trench that Kya was still wearing tightly wrapped around her.
“…I want to be the one who waves you goodbye on a morning and welcomes you back on an evening. The one who gets to take you in her arms, and scare away all your nightmares. The one who gets to kiss you deeply and intently and openly and honestly. The one who gets to raise you up and stop you from tearing yourself down”, Lin continued passionately, her chest swelling and her mouth never pausing for breath.
“I want so badly to be everything and more to you, in all the ways that matter and in some of the ways that don’t - because it is nothing short of what you deserve. And I know deep down in my bones, that I finally trust myself enough to be that person for myself, and for you…”, Lin pressed on, as hot tears began streaming down her face, and with her good hand pressed softly against Kya’s cheek.
Kya didn’t know when she had also started crying, but she knew that she couldn’t stop. The hot wetness on her faced dripped off and down onto the trench coat scrunched up between, and the remainder pooling in Lin’s cupped hand on her face.
“All I ask of you, Kya…”, Lin began again as she sniffed loudly, “…is whether you could ever consider forgiving me”, she added, as she raised her second hand to clumsily touch Kya’s other cheek with the tips of the fingers of her broken arm.
Lin pulled her face down slightly, and Kya felt hot, dry lips graze the skin of her forehead, as they pursed together into a chaste kiss that barely ghosted her face.
“I know I can’t ask anything more of you after the exhausting day we have both had, but please. If you come to an answer, I’m sure you know where my office building is”, Lin added before standing abruptly, and walking over to the now closing doors.
Lin grabbed the black rubber buffer on the mechanical sliding doors and pulled them back open easily, despite the protestation of the mechanism. Lin gestured for Kya to pass through with her broken arm, motioning for Kya to exit the carriage at her station.
“This is where we say goodbye, for now”, Lin practically whispered, final and painful, as the hot tracks of tears visibly steamed on her cheeks in the cool light of the evening that filtered in through the open doors.
Of all the things Kya wanted to do right now, saying ‘goodbye’ to Lin was not one of them.
Standing slowly on shaking knees and with trembling nerves, Kya inched forward, trusting the stability of each footstep as much as she trusted her ex-best friend back at the RCR. Closer and closer she stepped towards the train doors, until she was level with Lin, and looming over the gap between the carriage and the platform edge.
“…mind the gap…”,she absently whispered to nobody but herself, as she teetered on the edge of what she thought she wanted, and the reality of what she desired. One step promising to fling her forward into a life of the unknown, or pull her back into her old ways and even older habits.
Turning her head to Lin slightly, she looked once again into the depths of those pure green eyes, now outlined by tears and resting above bags as deep as her own. The short mussy grey hair that curled so beautifully around Lin’s ears, now danced across her cheek in the cold breeze of the outside world, that had come far too quickly to interrupt their second reunion of the night. Unable to stop herself, she absently reached a hand out to tuck a strand back behind Lin’s ear.
If only Lin hadn’t let out such a gasping moan at the contact. If only Kya had managed to retain even a modicum of self-restraint around this woman. If only she wasn’t already falling embarrassingly quickly head over heels in love with the incredible human being who stood before her…then maybe she wouldn't have collapsed so completely into Lin’s embrace, and instantly captured the woman’s chapped lips between her own in a passionate kiss.
Kya pressed Lin hard against the doorway and kissed her deeply, their tongues pressing and probing and tasting one another so entirely that Kya didn’t know where her own mouth began and Lin’s ended. She felt Lin firmly embrace her about the waist and pull her in flush against her own body. The fingers of Lin’s broken arm slid their way effortlessly into Kya’s messy updo, knocking the bun loose and gently grabbing handfuls of hair in desperation that they may slip away from her. Kya moaned needfully and greedily into Lin’s open mouth in response, a perfect mirror image of their kiss from the steps of RCR all those hours ago. Except this time, it was Kya who felt the need to suddenly pull away.
“You tracked me, all the way across town…”, she started breathily, before diving back into the abyss of Lin’s open, waiting mouth.
“…ran through the pouring rain, with no coat and a broken arm,…”, she pulled away to continue her questioning, before moving to Lin’s jaw and planting open-mouthed kisses to the delicate skin that she found beneath, eliciting a deliciously visceral sound from the women beneath her touch.
“…oh, and ran from the transport police…’, Lin had the nerve to add groggily, whilst Kya was sucking at a particularly sensitive spot below Lin’s earlobe.
“…and escaped from the pigs?”, Kya added incredulously, as she smoothed both of her hands up Lin’s cold and exposed biceps, causing the once flattened and soft hair there to stand electrifyingly on end under her touch.
“You did all that…to come here asking for forgiveness, and then to leave again?”, Kya asked, suddenly serious now, as she pulled her lips away from Lin’s décolletage to look her square in those unwavering eyes.
Without hesitation, Lin replied.
“Yes”.
“It was nothing less than you deserved, Kya”, Lin added, the softness that settled across her face was like nothing Kya had ever seen from the woman.
“That…and well, you still had my coat”, Lin allowed herself to chuckle, as Kya slapped her arm playfully before recapturing her lips in a softer but no less meaningful kiss. They were disrupted, as their bodies were suddenly shunted forwards unexpectedly, by the door behind Lin’s back desperately trying to force itself closed.
“Well, Lin, consider yourself forgiven”, Kya smirked as she pulled away slowly from the woman before her.
“Wait. Wha…you mean it? Just like that?”, Lin asked incredulously, as she pushed back on the door mechanism, giving them an extra few seconds.
“There’s no ‘just like that’ about it, Lin. You forget, I have known you for two whole days now, and It took me much less time than that to estimate your moral fibre. You are a good person Lin; it radiates from you. I think you just had to remind yourself what your priorities were…as did I”, Kya spoke.
She was feeling entirely more honest than she thought she could in this position, and potentially entirely more honest than she should have been speaking, whilst stood on the edge of a gap between a commuter train carriage and a train station platform.
“Now, let’s let these doors do what they are desperate to do, and let us get some closure on this situationship and start a fresh”, Kya continued, whilst crossing the gap and alighting on the platform edge.
Turning to face Lin, who remained on the train, Kya beamed broadly at her, for the first time in hours feeling warmth and relief flood back into her bones.
“Thank you, Kya. Really, thank you so much”, Lin replied, almost bowing slightly as she did so.
Well ain’t that cute, Kya chuckled to herself.
“Well, I guess it’s goodbye for now”, Lin smiled only slightly less widely, as she took another step back into the body of train. As she did so, the doors started to close again, this time threatening to separate the two of them, rather than trapping them in together.
It all happened so fast that Kya felt as though she had little time to react; good thing that having incredibly well-honed motor reflexes was literally the core of her day job.
Leaning forward instinctively, she reached an arm through the narrowing gap in the the doors, grabbed a handful of Lin’s wet RCPD tee, and yanked her through the gap, pulling her out and onto the platform beside her. She delighted in how wide Lin’s eyes blew as a result, and she was trying to convince herself that she wasn’t bothered at how stiff Lin’s peaks were now standing as a result of the added friction, and the cold. Nope, definitely not bothered at all.
“You just confessed your undying respect and appreciation for me, Beifong - you’re not going anywhere just yet”, Kya winked at her, as she held out her handbag for Lin to take.
Confused, but ever polite (at least to Kya), Lin took the offered handbag with a confused look. Kya then began to shrug herself out of Lin’s trench coat, immediately regretting her decision to help Lin out as the warm embrace it had been offering her for hours was stripped away. Pulling her arms free of the sleeves, exposing her scrubs to the world, she swung the coat round to drape it over Lin’s cold shoulders. The recollection and slight blush that appeared on Lin’s face was enough to keep Kya fuelled with warmth for the walk home regardless. Reaching out, she tried to take her handbag back, but Lin had already slipped her arms into the trench and had hoiked the handbag up onto her shoulder and was now refusing to give it back.
“Fine, have it your way”, Kya hphmed as she looped her arm through Lin’s.
As they set off walking up the small hill away from the station, with Kya leading the way, Lin gave her arm a slight squeeze.
“Hey, for real though, thanks for keeping my coat safe - it’s my favourite”, she smiled softly up at Kya.
“No problem Chief, the sooner you got it back the better - those damn nipples of yours were going to take someones eye out”, she winked back.
The look of mortification that spread across Lin’s face was truly priceless.
Yeah, I could get used to this, Kya hummed to nobody but herself, as they wandered off together amidst the cool evening breeze.