Chapter Text
“Eri-chan feels like a burden. I feel bad for her,” Izuku said sadly.
Shoto thought for a long moment, quiet. “What’s going through your head?” Katsuki asked, the three of them hot and sweaty from working out. Izuku’s quirk training was not going anywhere. “Hey, princess.”
“Oh. I was just thinking… maybe she’d feel better if I told her about my issues, too. And how supportive everyone is. Y’know? Might give her hope she’ll find people who love her, too.” Izuku smiled at him so brightly. “Think it would be a good idea?”
“Yeah! A really considerate idea!”
“She won't be scared?”
“Probably not? I don't know, but you haven't hurt anyone.” Shoto nodded. “And Wolf Shoto is so sweet. It’s hard to believe he used to act out. And even tried to attack me.”
“Sorry.”
“Dude! That was like, ten years ago! And the only reason you met Izuku, seriously,” Katsuki said with annoyance in his voice. Shoto shrugged.
The next day, after class, they went to see Eri, who had her quirk tested with Monoma’s copy quirk the previous day, but it didn't work, unfortunately. Her quirk could be so powerful if she got control over it, but it probably wouldn't get there anytime soon. Shoto had texted Aizawa and asked if it was a good idea, and he gave the go ahead.
Eri was surprised and confused to see the two near strangers, but they were close to Izuku, more than most realized. So she was comfortable when Izuku again introduced the two of them. Katsuki’s usual resting bitch face was controlled, and he looked soft and nice. Shoto liked his harsher face because it was him. And Shoto loved his snarkiness, even if it sometimes didn't do him any good.
“Eri-chan, Shoto wanted to talk to you about something,” Izuku said with his kind, reassuring smile. He would be such a popular hero with this. Beautiful, kind. A perfect soul.
She looked curiously at Shoto, a little guarded, but Izuku sat beside her, taking her small hand with a smile.
“I heard about how you’re feeling. Being a burden, and feeling like everyone around you doesn't want you around. I know what that feels like. I have a disease, that makes me turn into a wolf. A different personality, like a second me, not myself. It caused problems for everyone, and is partially responsible for losing my arm. I’ve caused trouble for everyone since I was six. And I know the fear and feeling of people not being truthful, of resenting me for existing.
“But everyone here, my class and teachers and family, they don't mind. They love me, and support me. Even when I turn into a wolf without control around my class, they still care about me. I can promise you, from experience, that there are people out there that will love you, and do love you. Everyone I know who knows you adores you. Nobody resents you. Not even Lemillion, and it was related to your quirk that he lost his for now. I just wanted you to know from my own life experience, that there will always be people out there that care sincerely. You’re not alone, I promise.”
The girl’s eyes were wide and teary. “And it’s okay for you to have all the feelings you have. Your feelings are all valid, and understandable. I’m sorry if this was a lot to take in, I just thought it might help.”
She looked at her hands in her lap. “...Thank you. It was - was nice for you to tell me.” Shoto gave her a smile. “I’m sorry you have problems, too.”
“Thank you. And thanks for helping Izuku fight Overhaul.” She nodded, and clearly was getting overwhelmed, so Shoto and Katsuki left, leaving Izuku with her and Aizawa. Their teacher looked at Shoto with an air of pride.
-x-
“What’s with the tail?!” Inasa asked in shock when Shoto came out of the changing room for their last class. Shoto no longer hated Inasa, but he was still tiring to be around. He sighed.
“Just something werewolfy,” Shoto said bluntly. “It won't go away.”
“Wow, that’s like, legit super cray,” Camie said. Shoto nodded, and Katsuki walked out, in his long sleeved hero outfit as it had gotten colder out. And he wasn't able to regulate his temperature like Shoto could. If he wanted, he could wear a tank top in a blizzard and be fine.
Gang Orca wasted no time getting on topic.
“Todays the day I finally say ta-ta to you slack jawed fools!” he bellowed. “That thought’s got me in a great mood! Prepare yourself, you specks of plankton!”
Unlike the provisional license exam, the real one, Shoto was able to use his arm just fine. He was emotionally stable. Not quite really stable with all his werewolf issues, but he wasn't standing on thin ice that had already started to crack long before the test began. Shoto used both his fire and ice, and since he wasn't competing against the other students, he provided assistance for them, able to keep up with Katsuki, form ice walls to guard him from those cement shooters.
Shoto was not back at his full power with his fire, but he was sure as hell closer than three months ago. He took out plenty of guards, and sent blasts of heat at Gang Orca, teaming up with Katsuki to take him down specifically. They tag teamed him, and Shoto formed a wall of ice right in front of his face, thin enough for Katsuki to explode through and land a good hit.
Shoto was panting slightly, and though Gang Orca didn't pass out, didn't fall to their tag team attacks, all the other grunts were taken out by them and the other students. The timer was done, and that part of the exam was over. “Good work, you little runts. I’m not disappointed!” Shoto smiled, a real smile in relief. “Now, rescue time!”
This went just as well for Shoto as it had last time, able to save plenty of people. And Katsuki’s time in therapy allowed him to shine. He was able to control his volatile words, and rescue the actors without coming across as an asshole. And once everyone was rescued, they returned to the lobby, many of them dirty to some extent. Shoto’s prosthetic was holding up perfectly fine. It was hot to the touch, but reasonably so.
Katsuki was grinning at Shoto in an almost predatory way. “Got your confidence back, princess. I like it.”
"I'm not where I was, but I’m much closer than I was three months ago,” he said with a smile.
“You guys are like totally dating, aren't you?” Camie asked bluntly. Neither of them denied it, however. Even if Shoto wanted to, he didn't think he could speak the lie out loud. He loved Katsuki too much to tell someone he didn't. “Aww, too cute!”
“Shut up,” Katsuki huffed. “Don't tell anyone shit.”
“No probs,” Camie said, making a dismissive motion with her hand, manicured nails glinting. Somehow she hadn't gotten a speck of dirt on her during either trial.
Gang Orca returned and handed out their cards, getting straight to it, no scores, either pass or fail. All of them passed. Shoto looked at his card, looking at his photo. His resting bitch face persisted.
He’d finally caught up in this way. His quirk was coming along steadily. Everything would be great, if his werewolf bullshit didn't linger over his head like a rain cloud, attempting to block out the sun at every moment. Katsuki was grinning in a way that looked painful, looking at his own card. Shoto smiled.
Gang Orca actually praised them all in a fairly specific way. He sure put up a front of disliking them, but clearly he cared. When it got to complimenting Katsuki, he praised his ability to change his attitude when necessary, a big improvement since last time. Katsuki grumbled, crossing his arms, still not used to praise from strangers that didn't regard his quirk.
Shoto was addressed with his adaption to losing his arm, and how he’d watched Shoto improve class by class. Shoto smiled with pride, happy to have someone say something positive in a position of power.
By the time class was over, night had fallen, and All Might came to pick them up. Both teens flopped into the backseat and let out heavy sighs. “We passed,” Shoto said proudly.
“I didn't expect anything else,” All Might said with pride.
“Supportive father in laws are good.” Katsuki barked out a laugh.
“Haha! Imagine, being in the same family as the number one and three! A whole family of pro heroes.” Shoto chuckled, and Katsuki grabbed his face and gave him a noisy smooch on the cheek, both of them in fantastic moods. Finally, they were on the same status as their class! Not the same place as those who had work studies, but getting there!
Shoto leaned his head against Katsuki’s shoulder, smiling, staring at his license. “I did it. Made it.”
“Never doubted you would, princess.”
“I know you didn't, but I did.”
Shoto rolled down the window, adjusting his seating a bit. It was uncomfortable sitting in cars with his tail. At least in class and at the dorm’s tables there was a hole in the back of the chair. Here, his tail was smooshed to the side or beneath his bottom. Truly a pest.
Shoto stuck his head out the window when he heard a commotion and caught something going wrong down the street. “All Might! There’s villains!”
“Hell yeah, pull over, dad-in-law!”
All Might pulled over and the two eager now-heroes jumped out of the car.
They both shot a grin to each other, Katsuki grabbing a gauntlet from the backseat. He climbed onto Shoto’s back, who zipped them down the street on a streak of ice, Katuski jumping from his shoulders to propel himself upwards so he got a good vantage point and didn't blast apart the civilians on the street. Shoto wasn't too fond of Katsuki kicking off of his head like a spring board, but moved on quickly.
Shoto sent out a wave of ice, both of their attacks landing perfectly. “Who’re these wannabe heroes?” one of the villains said. Though they were stealing purses and wallets, and Shoto didn't smell blood or see injured people.
“Those purses and wallets don't belong to you,” Shoto stated, letting out a puff of steam from his mouth.
The villain, the main one who was still conscious and not trapped in ice like some of his co-conspirators was furious. “You think a little ice is gonna stop me?! We planned for months! Picking an area that has no hero patrols!”
“Well, then guess you're unlucky, hah?! Get a job, loser!” Katsuki antagonized.
“As if two high schoolers are gonna take me down! I have stronger resolve than you!” He turned tail and ran. “To run!” Shoto sent a wall of ice that flowed along the street, and curved at the end when encountering the cement wall dividing a one way street from a line of shops. The main villain, at least the one that had spoken so far, ran straight into it.
Katsuki went after the grunts, letting out an explosion on their backs, punting them out of commission. Katsuki’s explosions hurt, even more so with his gear than without, like at the sports festival.
The civilians had been evacuated by All Might, and Shoto unleashed a blast of cold air, Katsuki running hot enough to not be too affected, but the main villain started to violently shiver as the cold seeped into his clothes and body. But, he surprised them with a support item. No doubt off the black market, but troublesome regardless. And it was incredibly destructive.
However, Shoto created a spear of ice, about the side of a normal arrow, and punted it with perfect aim, shattering the support item. The guy looked shocked, and Katsuki took advantage of the moment and knocked him out with an explosion. Shoto melted the ice in the immediate area, but would need to go in and clean up the street behind him. Thank god he could emit a good amount of heat to melt his ice. When he first lost his arm, that ice would have stuck around to melt by someone else or naturally.
“Nice, princess. Your aim is crazy accurate,” Katsuki said with a grin.
All Might hurried over. “Good work, you two!” They were both buzzing with excitement. Before a random hero literally slid over to them, and ruined it.
“Oh, it’s the UA bad boy and the werewolf!” the comical looking hero said, immediately tanking the mood. Katsuki grinded his teeth together in irritation. But, thankfully, he did not blow up at the man for hurting Shoto’s feelings. Was he known by the general public as “the werewolf”? It was hurtful to imagine, and he hoped that would change when he actually got into hero work. It looked like his fight alongside Enji hadn't changed too many opinions. When the guy announced it loudly, the bystanders who’d gathered as they usually did for villain attacks, looked at Shoto suspiciously.
His gaze fell to the ground, looking at his tennis shoes.
The hero didn't seem to notice how he’d upset both of them, and asked if they’d done this all. “Yeah, we think all the criminals have been apprehended,” Shoto said in a monotone voice, his happy demeanor gone.
“And the stolen goods?”
Katsuki dumped some wallets from his shirt, having pick pocketed the enemies before blasting them in the back.
“Perfectly done! It’s hard to believe you kids are still students!” He praised them, but even then he’d ruined his image in their eyes based on his tasteless and tactless greeting. “Slidin’ Go will take care of the rest!”
Shoto walked away to melt the ice, and returned to the car with his head down a bit. Katsuki slung his arm around his shoulders. “Don't listen to that dumbass.”
“Yeah.” They got in the car, in a much worse mood than when they’d exited. Even though they easily busted some criminals, being greeted by a possible future colleague in that way had been upsetting. Katsuki wanted to leave behind his kidnapping and horrible image he’d crafted from the sports festival, and Shoto wanted to be more than a werewolf.
By the time they got back to UA, both were asleep in the back seat. Izuku came out to greet them, and gently woke them up. “Kacchan, Sho, you're home.” They both roused and left the car. “I saw your stuff on the news! You were so cool!”
Shoto didn't want to watch the segment, sure it would mention his werewolf status first and foremost.
He went straight to bed, truly deflated at the greeting. Worried he’d never be treated as an equal. He laid down on his futon mat, and sighed. “I hate you,” he whispered to the werewolf Shoto who kept overtaking his body. He glared at the wall. “Everyone would be better off without you.”
Even if Wolf Shoto was aware at the same time human Shoto was, he wouldn't understand Shoto’s harsh words. He did not shift in his sleep, thankfully. A normal night.
-x-
Shoto ended up seeing stills from the news segment the night before about their save. Images of him and Katsuki. And fuck, they were shit at hiding it. “Well, fuck.” In those stills, some shots showed clear, casual adoration in their expressions. “I didn't think it was that obvious,” Katsuki grumbled when Mina showed them on her phone.
“We’re minors, they can't legally speculate about our love life. Sexualization of minors laws and all,” Izuku said, rubbing his hand through his hair. “Still. I also didn't realize we were so obvious. To anyone but our inner circle, at least.”
“I think class 1-B is pretty aware you guys are a throuple. I honestly don't see how they couldn't see it,” Setsuna said bluntly. “Do you really plan on keeping it a secret?”
Shoto looked at his partners. “I think the topic deserves a revisit.” Izuku’s face lit up, and Shoto smiled fondly. It was him holding them back from being open. And Shoto might always be seen as “the werewolf.” Might as well be able to show his affection for his partners.
-x-
Wolf Shoto appeared in the middle of dinner the next day. One moment, Shoto was talking to Momo about a new book she was reading, eating his ridiculous serving of food. And then he was terrified, and obviously not Shoto anymore. He panicked, until Izuku hugged him, brushing his hand through his hair, cradling him to his chest. He was taller than Izuku, yet appeared so much smaller, younger, innocent.
Everyone quickly left the room but for his partners and Setsuna. Wolf Shoto was shaking and sobbing again, in the unfamiliar body again. His head hurt. Like it was compressing. Like something was wrong, the wiring crossed. He had no idea what was going on. That his brain was not the same as human Shoto’s. That his headache was really bad.
His left hand laid limp, the implant in his head not functioning properly. His right hand clawed at Izuku’s arm to try and get him closer. Wolf Shoto started to get confused, and shook his head, as if fighting the confusion, the fuzziness in his head. His vision started to blur and eyes crossed.
“Sho? Shoto?”
Wolf Shoto made a scared moaning sound, eyes fully crossing, and starting to foam at the mouth. “Shoto! Call Aizawa right now!” Izuku picked Shoto up, intending to rush him to Recovery Girl. He was twitching, his hand forming a clawed position, fingers stiff and curled inwards.
Then, his eyes fully rolled back in his head, and he went completely limp. But he continued to breathe. “Shoto! SHOTO!” No response, his ears didn't even twitch, as if he couldn't hear anything.
“Get him to Recovery Girl!” Katsuki screamed, and Izuku used Full Cowling to break through the sliding glass doors and bring his boyfriend to their school nurse. Shoto was still completely limp, lifeless but for his steady, calm breathing. Tears poured from Izuku’s eyes, and his legs started to burn and ache as he overused his quirk.
He kicked through a window and jumped into the main building. School was out already, but Recovery Girl had her apartment inside the nurse’s department. Izuku kicked open the door, not breaking it off of the hinges, and shouted for the nurse, who rushed out in pajamas. “Something’s wrong with him!” Izuku screamed frantically.
“Lay him on the bed!” Izuku did so, terrified. Shoto looked dead. He was breathing, but limp, no reaction to anything.
Recovery Girl didn't know what was wrong with him, and called an ambulance. Aizawa and Katsuki arrived, seeing Shoto still looking lifeless.
They could not get into the ambulance with him, but Aizawa did. He was pale, and scared for his student. Halfway to the nearest hospital, though, Shoto gasped harshly, twitching violently, clutching at his chest and throat, eyes wide and seeing, ears flat to his head, looking panicked. “Todoroki - Shoto, you’re okay.” An oxygen mask was placed over his face, and Shoto was beyond confused. He couldn't remember how he got here. Focusing on his body, he felt no pain either.
“What happened?” he asked, slurring his words just slightly.
“Wolf Shoto appeared, and got sick.”
"I'm sorry,” was Shoto’s knee jerk response. Aizawa looked at him with pitying, sympathetic eyes. He took Shoto’s real hand, and promised he wasn't angry, just worried. He then took out his phone and called someone, Enji, to tell him he woke up. That they were still on route to the hospital. Then, after that call was over, he phoned Izuku, and also told him.
Shoto felt like shit when he heard Izuku crying. How had Shoto gotten sick? He could remember nothing. He stared at the ceiling of the ambulance in shame, letting the medics take his blood pressure, which was normal. He slowly began to feel completely fine, and truly didn't know what had happened.
Five hours later, Enji was driving both Shoto and Aizawa back to UA, Shoto cleared with nothing wrong. Enji wanted to keep him home, but Shoto wanted to see his partners and let them know he was okay. Besides, the moon shift was in two days. He’d see him then.
When they got back to school, Katsuki and Izuku were sitting on the front steps of their dorms, looking haunted. Shoto walked to them, head down in shame. Both jumped up and roughly embraced him. Katsuki grabbed his face gently, looking into his two colored eyes desperately. “I was cleared. There’s nothing medically wrong with me that they could find,” Shoto stated. "I'm really sorry,” he said in guilt.
“We’re just happy you’re okay,” Katsuki said, even if his voice was choked up, clearly trying to fight tears. Shoto still felt beyond shameful for another episode. But he truly felt fine, and if he hadn't been told, hadn't been brought to the hospital, he would have not realized anything went wrong. His whole class was in the common room, quiet and nervous. Shoto just felt like a huge burden, and apologized to them all for worrying them again. More of the same excuses and reassurances that its not his fault, but he just felt bad, and went to his room, thankful when his partners followed. He laid on his futon, head in the pillow, before both of them laid down with him, snuggling him closely. Shoto wrapped his arms around them, breathing in their scent. He didn't ask about what really happened, with them front and center, and they didn't talk about it.
Eventually they put on a movie, cuddling on Shoto’s futon mat, because it was bigger than both of their beds since it accommodated his wolf form as well.
-x-
The next day, an interview was scheduled for Shoto and Katsuki after their publicized save. Both of them considered declining, not especially wanting to be a focus by the public when Katsuki was known as the kid that got kidnapped for acting out and Shoto just a werewolf. But Aizawa suggested they do it for training, as practice. As heroes, they would do interviews someday, and getting one out of the way would be good for them.
The class demanded a little harshly that Katsuki behave and not bite the interviewer’s head off. “Oh? You telling me what to do? Well, fine! Unless they bring up Shoto’s bein’ a werewolf, I’ll fuckin’ behave.”
“That’s all we ask,” Momo said in a patient voice while the rest were exasperated.
They settled on the couch, Shoto glancing at Katsuki’s hand. He was nervous and would very much like to hold it. But he didn't reach out, putting both hands in his lap. He was sitting to the left of Katsuki, so he wouldn't have been able to feel his hand anyways.
The interviewer is a young woman very dressed up, while the two of them were just wearing their school uniforms. Shoto had brushed his hair and made sure the two colors meeting split right down the middle neatly; he didn't like when they mixed and looked pink.
She introduced herself, and the two of them gave their names and hero names as well. Katsuki gave his hero name, and when Shoto gave his own name, which was just his first name, Katsuki rolled his eyes.
“So, not 30 minutes after getting your provisional license, you went into work and displayed heroism that would put pros to shame! You must have gotten close in the time you were training together!” Katsuki snorted, and got a warning look from his taller boyfriend.
“Katsuki and I have been best friends for quite some time,” Shoto stated. “So we worked well together and became an even better team in the provisional license training.”
“I see! Do you have any plans of working together when you graduate?”
“Definitely,” both of them confirmed, Katsuki’s more bark-like than Shoto’s. The woman smiled, looking pleased.
“I’d like to ask about the moves you used during the encounter.”
“I just formed a wall of ice, and then tried to lower the temperature to make movement harder. The public was mostly evacuated at that point, so I felt it was reasonable to do so.”
“I was careful, too. Can't go blowin’ up shitty extras.” Shoto could not help pinching the bridge of his nose. “Oi, princess, don't fuckin’ do that shit in an interview!”
“Maybe you should behave yourself, then.” Katsuki scoffed, but not in an angry way, more amused by Shoto’s irritation. The interviewer looked very awkward. Considering how Katsuki was under attention from outsiders, he was doing well enough.
“While we’re here, do you mind me asking more about your time against the high end nomu?”
“I plan on working with my dad when I graduate, so it’s very lucky we worked well together,” Shoto answered, having no issue with talking about it. He hadn't actually had a real interview about it.
“Shots of you at the time showed bad injuries. Your arm was broken.”
“Oh, my arm wasn't broken. My prosthetic was bent. My left hand is a high tech prosthetic, as I lost my left arm in an injury,” Shoto said candidly.
“Oh! There were also blood stains, weren't there?”
“I was stabbed, yes. It didn't hurt too badly.” Katsuki pressed his lips together, clearly trying not to laugh.
“Oh, my!”
“I was fine.”
“How was your recovery? Did you heal quickly?” Shoto caught onto the timid tone of her voice, and understood where this was going.
“I’d prefer not to talk about my lycanthropy,” Shoto said in a relatively cold voice. “I didn't think that was the point of this interview.” She looked scolded, and apologized. “I am more than my health condition. And when I debut, I’ll prove that.” His voice was fully icy now, deeply irritated. Katsuki was grinning to himself, and the interview ended.
They left the couch, and the interviewer looked over to see the class glaring at her to some degree, and she seemed glad to leave. “All things considered, that went well!” Izuku praised.
“Bakugo could have done better,” Setsuna said.
“Fuck off, Tokage!”
-x-
Shoto sat in his cage, nervous. Would something else go wrong? The cage was closed, just in case, with a rudimentary lock. Rei was across the house, spending the day with Shoto. He was sitting on the pillow, in shorts and nothing else, trying to not destroy his clothes with every shift. He wasn't going to be naked beforehand, so minimal clothing was the best he could do. The vomiting was annoying at this point, and he briefly thought about if he could donate his teeth or if that was a weird thing.
When he shifted, Enji looked very apprehensive. Shoto turned into his massive wolf form, prosthetic in his room to not damage it in the shift. And Wolf Shoto collapsed onto his right side, eyes empty, tongue lolled out. Enji ripped open the cage, and attempted to wake Wolf Shoto. He was breathing regularly, but was clearly not asleep.
“Shoto!” Enji shouted, grabbing his face, trying to make him face him. But Wolf Shoto was completely lifeless, pupils not even reacting to light. “No…” Enji whispered. Izuku and Katsuki had said Wolf Shoto in human Shoto’s body had looked dead. And Enji was seeing it now. For the first time in many, many years, he just broke, sobbing over his body.
Shoto was his kid and was still alive, but Wolf Shoto was also his son, who he’d bonded with and taken care of. Rei hurried into the room, finding Enji falling apart over the massive wolf body. She gasped, tears gathering in her eyes, and hugged Enji, who held her arm, not even trying to hide his cries. Only he knew Wolf Shoto so closely, so he would mourn his brain dead state stronger than anyone else.
In the morning, Shoto woke up like nothing was wrong, laying in his futon, tucked in. He rolled onto his side and reached for his prosthetic to screw on. He was able to do it himself, but it was obviously easier to do so with help. He only then noticed Enji in the corner of the room, asleep. “Dad,” Shoto said with a cough.
“Shoto!” Enji rushed forward and pulled Shoto against his chest in a desperate, tight hug. He brushed his hand through Shoto’s hair, holding his face into his shoulder.
“Wolf Shoto is dead, isn't he?” Shoto asked quietly.
“...Yes.”
"I'm sorry.”
“Don't apologize.”
“I know you loved him.” Shoto was more disappointed and numb than anything. But, selfishly relieved. Knowing a less intelligent being in control of his human body had weighed heavily on his mind since Wolf Shoto woke in his body that day. Shoto only felt sorry for the one person who really bonded with his wolf self. Enji teared up, but didn't cry. Though his face was puffy when he woke up, too.
“I did. Very much.”
"I'm still here. I feel fine,” Shoto mumbled. His stomach rumbled, and Rei entered at that moment with a large tray. She looked exhausted, unlike Enji, who was used to all nighters. From both work and moon shifts. Shoto ate the food made for him, all of them quiet. Shoto felt detached. And relieved. Not just for his sake. But Wolf Shoto was damaged beyond repair, traumatized. He spent his safe life trapped in a cage.
Maybe death was a mercy. Shoto just didn't want it to drag him under as well.
-x-
He didn't tell the class about the news, not wanting pity, but admitted to his boyfriends and Setsuna that Wolf Shoto was no longer there. “We’re pretty sure he’s dead, or braindead. Didn't move all night, eyes empty and tongue laying out. No reaction to light or sound. Still breathing, but he’s gone,” Shoto said quietly. He didn't expect all the tears.
Izuku started to sob, bursting into apologies for not being able to save him. Shoto was stunned. “He died in my arms,” Izuku cried. It was heartbreaking.
“He’s at peace,” Shoto said, pulling Izuku into his arms as he shook from sobs. “He was miserable alive. It’s not your fault at all. And I’m so sorry I traumatized you again,” he said in guilt. Izuku held him tighter. Katsuki wasn't one to cry usually, but just looked at his hands with such a defeated look on his face.
Setsuna was crying, having known Wolf Shoto far better than they did. But she was quiet in her cries, unlike Izuku’s horrible sobs. Shoto hoped with Wolf Shoto’s death, his random transformations were over. It wouldn't be good to swap with Wolf Shoto’s empty brain and just drop dead out in public.
-x-
“They totally ship you both,” Mina announced, waving her phone with tumblr posts about Shoto and Katsuki’s suspected relationship. Izuku was handed the phone and looked through the fanart with bright eyes.
“It’s so cute!” he gushed, showing them the art made of Katsuki and Shoto. Shoto cringed. “It’s at least positive attention!”
“Least I don't have an army of young women promising Katsuki death by relation.”
“As if they’d kill me. I’ll never let them have you. Oi! There has to be someone artsy in here that can add Izuku to the drawings!”
“I can!”
“Not you! Anyone but you!” Katsuki shouted at Setsuna, who looked highly amused.
“It could be worse,” Iida stated. “Your performance in that interview was lacking.”
“Shut it, engine for brains!”
“My engines are in my legs,” Iida stated, not insulted.
Shoto went back to what he was doing, helping Tsuyu and Momo sew little personalized baubles on the end of Christmas hats. Christmas was approaching and they’d not be spending it with their families. Shoto was glad he had a little more time before seeing his parents again. Their grief, especially Enji’s, was kind of heartbreaking. Izuku’s was more painful in the moment, but he knew his father was devastated by the loss. He’d built a bond with him, and from now on would likely need to just guard his body. See Wolf Shoto lifeless and empty. Gone. Dead and gone.
“I thought we were gonna make an explosion bauble for Bakugo,” Tsuyu said while Shoto sewed together red, white and green.
“He’d never wear this unless it was related to us,” Shoto answered.
“Oh. Good choice, then,” she amended. By dinner time, they were all ready to wear on Christmas eve. Shoto had never celebrated Christmas away from his family, just like all his classmates, so this would be new. They were all mostly confined to campus, so they’d all ordered presents online. The amount of boxes they got before the holiday was incredible.
Shoto had gotten Izuku new shoes, the same type, as he loved those red shoes no matter how big his feet got, and two stuffed animals he’s had designed to look like himself and Katsuki, but in cute bear form. Before Wolf Shoto passed, Shoto was going to get Izuku a wolf stuffed animal and dye it his colors himself.
But it wasn't the right time to do so. His family were still upset about the loss, and Shoto felt like a monster for being relieved. He hadn't told anyone his feelings on the matter, not wanting to make them feel conflicted about their own. Because everyone who was mourning had met Wolf Shoto, and Shoto had never. He’d never occupied the same mindspace. He was mostly annoyed with the other’s existence, and worried when he started invading his mind.
Shoto was just lucky he didn't go brain dead from having a wolf brain. When he shifted into wolf form with his own consciousness, he was fully aware and definitely hadn't died yet.
“You okay, Todoroki?” Kaminari asked of Shoto’s distant expression. He tried to project a smile, and claimed he was just tired. Nobody believed him but didn't press. Shoto really didn't want to talk about his werewolf woes anymore. He was tired of pity and sympathy. He’d had enough for a lifetime.
-x-
Christmas was enjoyable. The food was good, Katsuki and Sato making a feast. Katsuki bustled around the kitchen, swearing up a storm and getting territorial so he did all the cooking. “If we get married will I get this kind of food every holiday?” Shoto asked quietly as he was serving himself last.
“Fuck off, princess. You and your mind games.”
“Hey, you’d benefit, too. I’d be your personal heater or AC.” Izuku snickered. “And Izuku can take the trash out in an instant.” Katsuki grinned and kissed both of them on the cheek, looking giddy, a look that Izuku mirrored, only he was much more adorable.
The night was fun, everyone wearing their christmas decor, Izuku looked so damn adorable. Katsuki refused to wear the jacket, but like Shoto assumed, he wore the hat because it had something to do with his two favorite people.
The class found they could go see their families for New Years, so they just opened the gifts from one another, all sitting around the coffee tables. Shoto was fearful every time he opened a present that it was wolf related. He didn't want to trigger his partners, upset them on Christmas Eve.
But Shoto had trouble masking his emotions around people he cared about. It was far easier to have a resting blank face around strangers. So his sadness was palpable. “Todoroki-kun, are you alright?” Shoto forced a smile and nodded. Iida was thoroughly unconvinced, frowning at the less than stellar lie.
“I’ll talk about it later. I don't want to talk about it tonight.” Thankfully, they were distracted when Eri and Aizawa arrived. Shoto was grateful for the detour, away from any topic regarding his sadness. Izuku jumped up, Shoto leaning his back against Katsuki’s legs while he was on the couch. He played with Shoto’s hair from behind, leaning forward to trace his thumbs along his jaw.
Shoto closed his eyes, letting out a sigh and melting in his touch. “It’s fine for you to not be upset. And it’s fine for you to be devastated. We get you have conflicting feelings.” Everyone but the two of them hurried over to Eri, who Aizawa had dressed up in a Santa outfit. He was a good surrogate father to her. It was so sweet.
“Everyone is devastated but me. Wolf Shoto was a stranger. I resented him as much as I pitied him,” Shoto murmured.
“It’s okay, princess. I’m sorry our upset is rubbin’ off on you.”
“I just feel guilty that I’m mostly unaffected and relieved. And everyone else is upset.”
“In a sense, I’m relieved, too.” Shoto finally turned around to look at him. He had such a sad face on. “I was scared. That someday he’d fully take over, and we’d lose you for good. Better him gone than you,” he said softly.
Shoto nodded, and turned to rest his cheek on Katsuki’s knee. He was in no mood to celebrate, and didn't have the energy to entertain a child, even one so least-exhausting as Eri.
He retired to bed early that night, took some sleeping medicine, and went to sleep.
-x-
Shoto dreaded seeing his family. Katsuki was going to Jeanist for New Years and Izuku and All Might to their mother. Shoto’s whole family were getting together. He couldn't refuse, but also dreaded seeing his father in a non-workplace situation. He’d be going to his work studies, the second round opening up, with Katsuki and Izuku, but at work he’d act gruff and professional.
He hadn't told anyone how much seeing Enji cry had hurt his soul. That he reduced such a strong man to tears and felt none of the grief he did.
But, he went anyways. Fuyumi hugged him when he was dropped off by Cementos, and he hugged her back. "I'm so glad you could make it!” she said. He nodded, reserved. When they entered the house, using Enji’s house, Shoto took his shoes off and discretely left Fuyumi to go to the moon room. He pushed the door open, and saw it looked the same as always. Part of him expected there to be a shrine. But there wasn't. Shoto quickly left the room, closing it lightly on his way back.
Christmas presents were in front of the tree, and Shoto stood back and watched his parents interact. They were very clearly flirting. At least in their own, wholesome way. Soft smiles, very reserved touches, like Rei putting her hand on Enji’s shoulder, needing to reach up quite a ways but still making it look casual.
Shoto smiled, and caught Touya smiling, too. Looking at them out of the corner of his eyes. Shoto sat beside him. “They’re cute,” he said.
“Not as cute as you and your puppy love,” Touya teased.
“How’s Hawks doing?” Shoto asked. Natsuo sat across from them, a glass of soda in his hand. Touya and Fuyumi were of legal drinking age but Natsuo was just shy of it.
“Alright,” Touya said stiffly.
“Trouble in paradise?” Natsuo asked in concern.
“Just work stuff is weighing him down,” Touya said. “Downside of dating a hero, I guess. He can't disclose what’s going on, but he leaves pretty often in the middle of the night. Were he not a hero, I’d be really worried he’s a drug dealer or some shit.” His brothers frowned. “I do know it’s hero work because he puts on his costume.”
"I'm sorry, Touya. That sucks,” Natsuo said in sympathy.
“I signed up for it, being boyfriend of the number two. Willingly, at least,” he added in an undertone, a reference to their mother’s status over twenty years ago.
“Well, it won't be like that for too long,” Shoto said. Touya raised his brows. “Once Izuku and Katuski debut, they’ll take the top two spots.” Natsuo laughed, but Shoto was perfectly serious. Touya grinned a sarcastic grin.
“As if anyone could beat Hawks image. You know how beautiful that man is? He’s got a much better attitude than Katsuki Anger-Issues Bakugo.”
“He’s much better now. Therapy is good for him. Also, he’s true to himself. I just feel bad for Hawks. He puts on a persona. As a normal person, he’s really sweet. But as soon as he puts on his uniform, he’s like a different person. I hope I don't become like that. And I’m also glad I don't need to worry about being overly sexualized,” Shoto explained in detail.
“That’s true, Hawks acts very different for the public,” Natsuo agreed.
“He can't help it,” Touya said, a bit snappy. The two younger brothers backed off and changed the subject.
“I comforted a little kid by telling her I’m a werewolf and it worked.” Shoto openly explained Eri’s situation, and how for once being a werewolf was good.
“That was so nice of you,” Natsuo said with a smile. Shoto nodded, scratching his cheek.
Throughout the evening, Wolf Shoto’s demise did not come up, and Shoto didn't think his siblings were aware yet. He was glad. He’d rather his parents tell them so he didn't need to see their reactions. They’d never met him before, at least, so their reactions might not be so strong. Fuyumi would absolutely be devastated, and Shoto didn't want to see it. Was glad to be away from his parents if they were mourning.
Shoto got many presents, and he had a feeling they were pity presents. Things that he actually hinted for, certain books, money towards websites he didn't have access to. Nothing wolfy again, thankfully. Everyone liked their presents. Touya was gifted a Hawks plushie, and he turned red but didn't get upset. Fuyumi got some very expensive school supplies for her classroom that Shoto and Touya combined their money for.
Shoto got his parents a scrapbook of good times. Many photos of them together, even before they were reconsidering a romantic relationship. They both looked touched. At the end, Shoto included one photo of Wolf Shoto that Enji had taken. Because Enji had loved him, so he would want a place for him in the photos. His face showed a great deal of emotion, but he then smiled and thanked Shoto for the thoughtful gift.
Shoto spent the night, and went back to the dorms the next morning, grateful they all avoided the topic of his other self. Enji did give him a hug before he got in the car, Rei following with a much looser hug. He went to his current home, with his current pack, and he planned on telling them the truth now that the holidays were over. He couldn't hide it forever. They probably had heard Izuku screaming when Wolf Shoto passed. And knew he’d gone to the hospital after. But they were surprisingly tactful and didn't ask about it. They had learned by now to let Shoto be honest at his own comfort, which was a relief. He really, really appreciated it.
So, after dinner was over, Shoto just came out and said it. “Wolf Shoto is dead.” Slack jaws in shock all around, followed by frantic questions of: Why? How? When? “Night I went to the hospital. My body was still breathing. And I woke up with no issue. But he didn't react to sound, or light, or stimulation.
“For the full moon, Wolf Shoto was lifeless. Just laid on the cage, ears not even moving. So, we think he’s dead. Maybe the shift into my body was too much,” Shoto explained. Izuku was biting his lower lip, Katsuki rubbing his shoulders comfortingly. Setsuna also looked depressed. “I know it will make you guys sad, but I think it’s for the best.”
“The best that he died?” Kaminari gasped.
“He was broken from what he’s gone through, and his life, when it was stable, is just existing inside a cage in a stuffy room. He couldn't move well with three legs, and wasn't trusted to leave that room, even if my dad trusted him to not attack. Wolf Shoto is at peace, and now I don't need to worry about him getting in my brain and doing something bad.”
The class was silent, lost in thought. “Well, I’m happy you're taking it so well, Todoroki-kun,” Iida said sagely. “I am still sad that a part of my good friend has died, but if you’re at peace with it, that’s what matters most, I believe.” Shoto gave him an appreciative smile. Even with Wolf Shoto dead, these people were still his pack. He still had the other symptoms, those he had mostly trampled down over the years.
He loved his class, and if he had to be away from his mother and siblings, he was thankful he was with them.
-x-
“Look! It’s working! Aw man,” Izuku deflated. The three of them were in the gym, Shoto retying his shoes, when Izuku’s blackwhip came out. Shoto just missed it. “I really had it, though!” Shoto smiled at him fondly. “I hope I can use it even just a little before the internship,” he mumbled.
“You’ll get it,” Katsuki said firmly. “But you have multiple quirks bottled up in ya. You can't learn them all instantly at the same time at the same pace,” he reasoned, with a fond smile. Izuku beamed.
“I want to catch up. You’ve both been so good at your quirks for so long I always feel behind in a way.” Shoto didn't bring up his own fire woes, he didn't want to tank the conversation by mentioning his quirk hurdles since losing his arm.
“Well, you're not behind anymore. Now I’m behind. I have one quirk and you bastards both have more than one,” he said with no real malice. “Not to mention Shoto’s healing and reflexes. I'm at a disadvantage.” But he was grinning a wicked smile, and grabbed Izuku by the waist, pulling him towards him. “Least I won't need to worry too much about my boyfriends gettin’ offed by villains with you two being so strong.”
Izuku was blushing like mad, and couldn't help but press his hands to his face, smiling brightly and completely flustered. It was adorable. Izuku was getting buffer as the semester went on, but he was still a squishy adorable bean. And they wouldn't have him any other way.