Chapter Text
A month had passed since the last time Taylor spoke to Connor. He had decided that he didn't want to be deceitful anymore if God was strictly against it. The chillness of August was soon to come, also meaning school was arriving soon, Senior year wasn't on Connor’s checklist.
Peering from his window across the street there was Taylor playing outside with sticks. He felt a weird queasiness seeing him outside, especially after what he did to his ball. Taylor had stopped coming to his door to try to hang out or bother him while he was outside. He guessed it was his goal to show Taylor that he wasn't being genuine. However, Taylor's attempts to no longer talk to him completely meant that he didn't want him as a friend at all. Connor rolled his eyes and moved from his window, he went to sit down in his rolling chair to work on his blueprint.
Or well at least he tried. He felt Taylor's constant attempts to be nothing more than pity. Taylor trying to feel better about himself for making friends with the new kid or whatever. It was pretty unreasonable for the way he treated Taylor but he had no idea how to approach the situation other than his usual. Taylor's avoidance hit a soft spot in him.
It had gotten dark he never finished his blueprint but watched Taylor play until he went back inside. He does some weird stuff, rolling sticks on the ground and tossing and catching them. He was doing what he would've done if he still had his ball. As soon as Taylor returned home Connor got up to look around his room for his compensation for his rudeness the other day. Although he will never be able to properly apologize to Taylor he at least wants to give him his ball back. Rambling through the bins under his bed he found a blue ball covered in stars, his room had always been space-themed but he didn't remember his toys having the same aura. In another bin, there was a star-shaped sticky note pack. It was a perfect way for him to apologize without having to interact with him directly.
Ripping a sticky note from the group he wrote a small apology.
“Sorry for the ball.”
Not very good grammar but he didn't want to feel like he was giving him more than he wanted to. He put it on the side of his bed where it'll wait till the next day and headed downstairs. Connor's mom spotted him and conversations between them never ended well.
“ oh look who finally came out of their room!”
She said in an unpleasant tone to Connor's hermit behavior. Connor clapped back instantly.
“Instead of worrying about me you should be worried about going outside and losing a few pounds, that should get you out of your room.”
It was no secret that Connor's mom was a chubby woman and it killed her when it was mentioned.
“You are so RUDE!”
She turned over completely on the couch and faced Connor from behind it.
“You don't even do anything all day and you talk about MY weight!”
“You use all that time to observe me but none of it to exercise huh..”
Connor's mom hopped off the couch and stomped towards him. Although she started the conversation first she was determined to end it. Before he approached Connor came up with a counter-attack. Spotting his DS on the breakfast bar behind him and his headphones were chucked in his shoes from the day before. She had finally made her landing on PLAN 09 shoving Connor into the breakfast bar, he quickly grabbed his DS and hit her with it in the stomach.
“AGHH!”
She shouted in pain as Connor ducked from under her ran to the front door and grabbed his shoes and headphones. She turned around to witness Connor escape with a cocky response attached.
“See you later fat bitch!”
Slamming the door behind him. She was left huffing and puffing and turned to her husband who sat and did nothing but shake from fear. “KYLE!!!” her husband flinched again.
Taylor who was supposed be be sound asleep heard the majority of it from his window and watched it all the way till Connor left the house, he was always waking him up at night which is one of the reasons he didn't want to be friends, and just to add he had no respect, Taylor couldn't imagine being friends with a total opposite, let alone an atheist. Crawled out of bed quietly and lit up the night light on his desk. There was a small little dairy he had hidden in his desk drawer under a scrap piece of plywood. He took a pen out of his cup and began to write down his dilemma.
“ dear diary, it's been a month since I stopped talking to Connor,
Well if I ever was talking to him at all.
I've come to realize that there was no solution to what I was feeling and I had to stop when he told me himself.
I hear him almost every night and it's unbearable.
Is that what families who don't follow God are like?”
Taylor hesitated and erased the last line. And replaced it with another
“Who am I to judge?”
He erased it again. He couldn't judge a dysfunctional family, especially when his situation didn't seem better. He ripped out the entire page and balled it up. Even when they followed god they had the same problems as Connor's family. It made no sense.
Taylor began to write in his diary again but to someone else.
Dear God,
I am a hypocrite.
Taylor closed his diary to kill all of his thoughts absolving him. Opening the bible on top of his desk instead. Flipping through the pages he urged to find something that would see his situation for what it was.
"Matthew 7:3 - Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?”
Taylor didn't know what to do with himself. He walked out to look through the window again.
Connor was sitting on his DS peacefully. Did he always leave home like that? Should he do the same?
He no longer wanted to fill his head anymore. Besides their argument was over and he would be able to get sleep now. He walked back to his bed to get some actual shut-eye