Chapter Text
‘Please! Stop hurting him! Please!” Rain's screams echo in the dark corners of the barebones room. His eyes are wild and flooded with tears as he struggles against the chair he was tied to. Half of his face is swollen from a backhand that surely had to have hurt. “Let him go! Please! I’ll do whatever you want just fuck stop hurting him!”
That draws attention.
“Whatever I want?”
Stop crosses the room in three long strides holding an open knife aloft like a deranged psycho. His grip is loose and his smile is something Phayu doesn’t think he will ever forget. If they both make it out of this alive then Phayu is going to kill that fucker.
“Yes. Anything. Just please, stop.”
Rain gasps in a sharp breath when Stop reaches out with his free hand to grab a fistful of Rain’s fluffy chestnut colored hair in a grip that surely was pulling the strands from his head. “And if I want to use your pretty little mouth to pleasure myself again and again and again would you still do anything?” Rain’s eyes narrow into fierce little slits and Phayu prays that Saifah called P’Pakin and they were already on their way. Rain was a feisty little thing but Phayu wasn’t sure how long he could actually hold out.
“Try. I can promise you I will bite it the fuck off.”
Stop yanks Rain’s head back and presses the knife into the flesh of Rain’s pretty neck and Phayu watches in terror as a bead of blood traces the contours of Rain’s throat. “Mind your god damned tongue. I don’t really care if you live or die. All I care about is making that little shit stain over there suffer. I’ll fucking slit your throat and not even blink.” Rain’s chest heaves with a startled and terrified inhale as he tries desperately to pull away from the knife. Tears bead on his lashes but never fall. He was too strong and too defiant for that.
“Let him go! It's me you want, right? You have me so let him go.”
Phayu struggles to push himself off the ground. He wasn’t raised for this like his dad had been. He and Saifah had been sheltered from any bad they might have been put through because of their family ties to the underworld. They had been loved and protected. They hadn’t been trained to kill or to torture others.
Gunshots ring out across the building and Stop startles jerking his hand holding the knife to the side and all Phayu sees is blood. Too much fucking blood. It sprays across Stop’s face as he stumbles back shocked at his own actions. Phayu scrambles across the floor ignoring the way his ribcage and hands ache from the movement. He tugs Rain up into his lap and clamps a hand down over his neck but there is too much blood. Far too much blood.
“No! No! Please! Rain! Baby, no!”
“P-phi… I… love you.”
“Phi!”
Phayu sits up in bed drenched in sweat from head to toe with a sob dying in his throat and his hands reaching for something that is no longer there. Red. So much red he couldn’t see anything else. There had been so much blood. It had seeped through his fingers even as he clamped a bruised and battered hand over the wound applying as much pressure as possible despite knowing that there had been too much blood.
Phayu glances down, heart hammering in his throat, expecting to see his blood coated hands once more. Instead, he found two delicate little hands clutched tightly within his own. He was holding them so tightly that the tips of the fingers were turning red.
“Phi…I need you to take a deep breath for me.” Rain’s voice pierces through the panic that still had his chest seized up. Phayu’s eyes drift lazily, unseeing, to the left where Rain is sitting dressed only in Phayu’s button up from the day before. The silken sheets are pooling around his hips and his face is a painting of worry. “Come on…deep breath. There you go phi. Keep breathing for me. It’s alright. It was just a dream. You’re alright. I’m here with you. I’m not going anywhere.”
Rain’s words are soft, soothing. They cover him like a heavy blanket smothering the anxiety and terror still racing through his system. It had been a dream. A dream of that terrible horrible night that he had lost his baby forever. When Phayu can finally focus on something other than the pounding of his own heart in his chest he realizes Rain’s hands are squeezing his own gently in time with his breathing. Phayu’s breathing was also synced up with the gentle squeezes.
“Rain.”
Rain's name comes out warbled by a sob as tears flood Phayu’s vision and tumble down his cheeks rapidly. In the next moment’s he feels Rain’s comforting weight settle on his lap and Rain wraps his arms around Phayu’s neck tightly. Phayu finds himself tucked face first into Rain’s chest as sobs wrack his body and his tears drip down his face and into Rain’s bare chest.
“It’s alright. I’ve got you. I’m not going anywhere.” Soft fingers move through his hair in gentle circuits until his shuddering sobs trickle to a stop and his emotions seem to level out. Phayu can’t bring himself to feel anything but numb right now. The memory was still too fresh. Too vivid. It was always there in his dreams like it was happening in front of his eyes all over again. “It’s okay phi.”
Phayu hums softly and presses his forehead into the slightly damp skin of Rain’s breastplate and allows his eyes to fall closed. He does exactly as his former therapist tells him too with much more success than he had ever been able to before. He focuses on the things he can actively sense.
“Please just stay like this for a bit.”
“Of course.”
Phayu focuses first on the way he can physically feel the weight of Rain’s body across his lap. He can feel the gentle rise and fall of Rain’s chest as he breathes in tandem still with Phayu. He can also feel the way Rain’s fingers still move in a slow rhythm through his hair.
His fingers feel numb when he finally calms enough to flex them where they lie limply around Rain’s waist. Eventually he can feel the plusher skin around Rain’s hip bones near his back as it indents under his hold. Rain was mostly skin laid sleek over muscle and bones but there were some spots that were softer and less lean and the area around his hips and ass were among them. Readjusting, Phayu runs his hands down Rain’s sides, feeling each indentation of Rain’s ribs and counting them slowly in his head. Two-fold, he can feel the way they expand under his palms with each inhale and exhale Rain takes.
Finally, Phayu hears the slow, rhythmic beating of Rain’s heart in his chest as well as the nearly silent whir of the fan they had turned on after their shared bath. Phayu's therapist had suggested finding things he could smell but considering he couldn’t breath out of his nose at the moment that was out the window.
“Thank you.” Phayu turns his head and presses a lingering kiss to the skin of Rain’s chest. Rain hums softly and leans forward to press a kiss to the top of Phayu’s hair. “I’m sorry to have woken you like that.”
Rain draws away just enough that they can look at one another properly and Phayu frowns when he notices a few crystalline tears clinging to Rain’s cheeks. Had he…cried for Phayu? “Don’t apologize, phi, it’s alright.” Rain’s admonishment was soft and only softened more by his hands brushing Phayu’s loose bangs away from his still wet face.
Phayu finds himself nodding and leans forward again to press his face into the space where Rain’s neck and shoulder meet. “It isn’t the first time I’ve had that nightmare. I…it’s so real…so vivid. It’s like I’m actually there.” Phayu presses himself into Rain further wondering if maybe he could sink into his baby’s skin and never leave. This safety, this comfort, that Phayu found in Rain had never been found with anyone else.
“What…what’s the dream about?”
Rain’s voice is soft, coaxing almost, but his hands don’t stop their cycle in his hair and his breathing stays steady. He’s not pushing and Phayu appreciates that. “I…someones takes you…someone from the job Sai and I work sometimes. They take you because of wanting to get back at me and you’re begging them not to hurt me. It always starts there. Then they’re holding a knife to your throat and I beg…every time I beg and every time it still ends with so much blood and I’m begging still. I…this nightmare is part of the reason I didn’t tell you about the work Sai and I do. I’m terrified that what happened in my dreams will happen in real life. I’m terrified of losing you.” Rain’s arms wrap around his head as his voice warbles with tears he desperately tries to push away. He’d already cried enough. Rain’s hold is soothing. There is something about being this close to Rain that feels as close to heaven as Phayu ever thinks he could get.
“I’m sorry…that sounds scary. I’m sorry you have to have that dream, phi.” Rain draws away and his hands finally drop away from Phayu’s hair to cup his jaw. They’re soft and so, so gentle. Rain holds him like he’s breakable and he really feels that way right now. “I’m assuming that’s why you lied about the garage the other week. I understand now. Really I do. I’m sorry you’ve been dealing with that all on your own too. It must be hard. Next time, call me phi. If I’m not here to hold you like this just call me and I’ll be there with you until you feel better to remind you that I’m alright and I’m not going anywhere.”
“I’m sorry for lying.”
“It’s already forgiven.” Rain leans forward to nuzzle their noses together gently before turning his face to rest his cheek on top of Phayu’s head. “Do you feel alright enough to go back to sleep?”
“Yeah. Sorry for waking you baby.”
“Don’t be.”
The next morning is a slow one. Phayu clings to sleep as much as he can, relishing in actually being able to fall back to sleep after a nightmare like that. Before now, he’d curl up in his bed shivering and biting back the tears that always inevitably came. He’d never find sleep again but with Rain here, holding him so tightly, he’d been able to sleep peacefully for the first time.
“How are you feeling, phi?”
Phayu turns slowly to watch as Rain tugs a tank top over his head and pulls a pair of Phayu’s sweatpants up his slender hips. Phayu was almost sad to see the button up from the night before go. Rain looked heavenly in nothing but Phayu’s white button up. Phayu finds himself almost laughing as Rain pouts down at the length of the sweatpants and proceeds to roll the waistband several times until it sits precariously on his slender hips.
Phayu crosses the room and wraps his arms around Rain, nuzzling into the back of his neck. Rain giggles and sways them back and forth playfully. “I’m feeling much better today, baby boy. Let’s go get some breakfast and then we can start on finishing your model.” Phayu feels Rain nod more than he sees it. His fluffy chestnut hair shifts with the motion. Phayu doesn’t let go of Rain. He wants to hold onto him for just a moment longer.
Eventually they make it down the stairs and Saifah is already bustling about in the kitchen making breakfast. He offers them both a sly smile and glances at Rain’s neck where a plethora of little red bite marks are already making themselves known.
“I see someone had a fun night.” Phayu notices that there is something a bit off in Saifah’s tone but he doesn't push too much. His twin is a lot like their dad when it comes to sharing his emotions. He will clamp up if you push too hard too fast. Rather, you need to let him come to you first. Phayu was a touch more like their Mama and Papa. If he was upset or angry he would tell you outright because he’ll be damned if you upset or piss him off and don’t know about it. “Sorry, I had a bit of a rough night. Haem and I broke up. I’m happy at least one of us is making out alright in the love department.”
“I’m sorry, Sai. I thought you two were good?”
Saifah shrugs and slides three plates onto the table as well as utensils. He then goes about grabbing three mugs and filling two with coffee and another with steaming water for Rain’s tea. Their breakfast wasn’t much but Saifah had always been someone who cooks when things are on his mind. It was something he picked up from their mama growing up.
“She said I care too much about the garage and that not everyone wants to come second best to a bunch of cars and motorcycles.” Saifah settles into the dining table with a huff and Phayu can understand his twin’s frustration. They both work incredibly demanding jobs with odd hours. It was part of the trade off of doing something they loved. Phayu had his own fair share of failed relationships because they felt he couldn’t make enough time for them. “Honestly, I think telling her about our parents' dynamic made her too uncomfortable. That on top of not having a ton of time for her was really just the icing on the cake.”
“That’s shitty, P’Sai. You deserve so much better than that.”
Phayu wants to admonish his baby for the curse but he can’t find it in himself to disagree. Rain’s words were accurate. Saifah and Haem had been together for three years now. Saifah had been worried about introducing her to their parents because she came from a fairly conservative family background. It wasn’t often that surrogates chose to just stick around and help raise the children they birthed.
“It’s alright, rainy boy. It just wasn’t meant to be.”
Rain rolls his eyes and stabs his spoon into his food. Phayu knows Rain’s opinion on people not understanding their family dynamics. He had surely heard more than his own fair share of it growing up. “Still, it’s stupid that people can’t see beyond their own noses. I’m lucky P’Meenoi beat up any bullies that teased us about our moms.” Phayu watches as a slightly startled and confused expression passes across Saifah’s face.
“Meenoi Soikham?”
“Huh? Yeah! That’s my step brother. His mom is married to my mom! We both have different dads though.” Rain tugs his phone from his pants pocket and flicks across the screen a bit before sliding it over toward Saifah. “Phi’s dad died when he was younger and my dad is still in Korea. He stays with us whenever he’s here for business or to visit though! How do you know my phi?” Saifah slides Rain’s phone back across the table and Rain pockets it while staring expectantly at Saifah. Phayu notices the slightest dusting of red come across his brother’s ears and he’s honestly a bit surprised by it.
Saifah and Phayu may look and act very different but there were some things that they were very similar in. Their sexual taste being one of them. They both decided long ago that neither really prefers one gender over the other. They both tended to date whoever caught their eye. However, they were both insanely loyal once with someone. Clearly, Saifah had met Rain’s brother and found him attractive but hadn’t acted on it because of being with Haem.
“Our shop has worked on his bike a few times since we’re one of the only places in the area with access to the parts.” Oh. This must be one of Saifah’s personal clientele then. There were a few clients that only wanted Saifah to work on their cars and bikes. It never annoyed Phayu because he had clients of his own like that though far fewer since he wasn’t around as often. “He’s not a super regular customer since he takes phenomenal care of his bike but he’s been in a few times. He’s nice.”
“Phi’s bike belonged to his dad so it’s kind of his baby.” Rain nods along completely missing the fact that Saifah definitely thought his brother was hot and just had not acted on it out of respect for his girlfriend and relationships. Phayu has to wonder if maybe now that Sai was single he’d actually flirt with the man. “Hey phi is desperately single so if he’s your type you should consider flirting with him. I’ll warn you though, his pick up lines are horrendous and he’s about as aware as a brick wall so you’ll need to be pretty obvious about it if you do flirt.”
“It must run in the family then.”
Rain turns wounded eyes on Phayu and brandishes his spoon like a tiny weapon to point it at him. “How dare you! I am not nearly as bad as my phi. I realized just fine you were flirting it’s not my fault you took me to your crash pad and didn’t fuck me thus making me think you didn’t want me.” Phayu feels his eyes go wide in surprise at Rain’s words and Saifah snorts and then promptly chokes on his coffee. Serves him right. Sometimes Rain says things and they literally still stun him.
“Language brat. Maybe I wanted more than just a one night stand?”
“Well duh! We’re literally dating, phi. Geeze, get with the program.” Rain playfully rolls his eyes and Saifah can’t hide his giggles now. Phayu knows his baby is just trying to cheer his brother up and surprisingly it’s working. He’s grateful his baby is so caring. Though he’d be more grateful if the teasing wasn't at his expense. “Seriously though, P’Sai, you have my blessing if you want to jump my phi’s bones. He needs a brat to put him in his place. You just let me know and I’ll make sure he has a reason to come see you.”
Saifah chokes on another sip of coffee as his face flushes an interesting shade of red at Rain’s words. Oh his little brother definitely found Rain’s older brother attractive. This was an interesting development. “Thank you Rain but I don’t think I’m quite ready for that yet. I appreciate the sentiment though. What do you two have planned for today?” Phayu contemplates not allowing Saifah to change the subject. Really he does. However, he knows that as much as Sai is playing it off he’s probably pretty upset about Haem and needs a minute to lick his wounds before jumping back into the dating game. So, like the good big brother he is, Phayu takes the bait.
“I’m going to help Rain with finishing his project and then reward him with a movie and dinner.” Saifah offers Phayu a small relieved smile and Phayu only nods and smiles back. He gets it. Really he does. As much as he and his twin love annoying one another at the end of the day they knew when to draw back. They knew when to offer escape to one another. “Still planning on heading into the garage?”
“Yeah, I still have a few cars to work on before Monday evening comes so I might as well knock them out early.”
Phayu smiles softly and for just a moment, sitting here with two of his favorite people in the world he feels content. His dream, rather a memory, of that night is nothing but a small lingering thing at the back of his mind. So much had already changed. Surely, Phayu had done some things right this time. Surely, they wouldn’t even meet Stop. He’d already considered warning P’Pakin against the man but knew without a solid reason P’Pakin likely wouldn't ban him entirely. Phayu would still need to be careful but with Rain now understanding Phayu’s fears he doubts his baby will get tied up in anything from the races…namely little pieces of shit named Stop.