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Chapter Text

Reincarnation after reincarnation 

No matter how many times I get reborn I still have no clue as to why the gods had punished me with such curse 

Ever since my death as the black sheep of an aristocrat's family and being married off to an Ill man that will soon be at death's doorstep

I have been reborn one after the other at first I thought I was blessed to be able to restart with my memories and experiences

Soon I was waken up by reality when I realized that I keep getting reborn with memories of my past lives it was tiring majority of those lives were ended with a suicide 

This blessing soon became a curse.

Every life must have a goal 

Every life I try to keep myself sane by achieving goals 

Soon it became so tiring 

It would have been nice to get reborn to different worlds or countries even 

But no!

I'm stuck in Japan from nobility to slave 

I have lived it all!!

I want peace

I want to pass

I have given up on love after watching them move on after my death 

I watched as people forget about me from another body

I thought that I must make every life be recorded in the history books 

I thought I found a new goal

I really thought I can have another purpose in life 

But soon that goal also got tiring 

I tried I really tried to find goals to keep me sine

Then I found out about the demon slayer corps and how this demon lord can't get killed for so centuries 

The more I learn about demons the more I realize that it's related to my curse 

Like the ubuyashiki family they were also cursed

This Muzan Kibutsuji guy must have been related to me somehow

But how??

I have never encountered or heard a man with that name in my first life 

Nor in any of my lives 

I tried to think what families are related to the ubuyashiki family 

I can't think of any because my older sister's are more knowledgeable about these things and i was wild back then and I didn't care much about the social life 

Now I regret it 

But my questions were answered when I met my first husband 

It was him! He looked healthier 

More alive than when I remembered him 

I tried to call him but then I saw he had a family 

A family he couldn't have in our past life because I was infertile and he was too Ill to conceive

I left him alone thinking that he is better off without me 

A failure

A black sheep

But when I saw him again this time I was a hashira 

The dots connected when I faced him in another life

He was Muzan Kibutsuji 

My first husband 

My childhood friend 

My first love 

That's why i was being punished 

That's why i was cursed 

It's because i married him 

I called him by his nickname

He killed me in an instant 

Chapter Text

"Anata!" 

"-----! Here! I found an interesting flower from my mother's garden. It's yours now" 

A girl, she was three years younger than me 

She was a wild, unkept, and ill mannered girl 

And yet I enjoy her company 

Because I was always bedridden back then I relay on her to tell me about the outside world

She would tell me stories of when she got lost, when she would find flowers that she gifts me 

She was my only source of information outside of my estate. Nobody in the estate would tell me about the outside world in fear of getting me upset that I wouldn't be able to see anything outside of my estate 

Even though her stories were sometimes confusing I still listen 

It's like I have a choice in the first place

She would just ramble on and on until the sun sets and she has to go home

Her smile, yes

Her smile would always reach her eyes 

Very little things makes her smile 

Her eyes would always shine

 I give her things I can get my hands on 

It was ridiculous 

She would give me presents she finds outside  that "reminds me of you" she says

I couldn't get her anything since I can barely get out of my room I would give her things that I find whenever I leave my room 

Mother found out about her 

Mother didn't like her and slapped her face 

I tried to stop mother and tell her she was my friend 

Mother just dragged her and I didn't see her for a while 

There would be a maid to stay by the corner of my room ever since then 

One day, she showed up 

But not by the bushes when I would always see her come out of 

She showed up with father and told me that she would be my bride

I didn't understand it then but I was just 

Happy 

To 

See her 

Again 

Ever since then she would always visit me in my room

Years went by and we got married 

There was no ceremony

I promised her that once I finally get cured I'll give her a grand wedding 

Then the doctor showed up 

The doctor that turned me into a demon 

While getting treated a maid entered the room without knocking 

And announced that she was found dead in front of my estate 

Someone killed her and dump her body in my front gate

At that time I was already impatient that the treatment wasn't working and killed the doctor out of anger for wasting my time and also-

Guilt 

Guilty of not being able to give her one thing that I had promised her 

It was a simple promise 

Centuries go by and I gradually forget about her

Then that slayer called me by the nickname she gave me

I killed the slayer 

Then I saw that she looked like her 

Another Centuries went by and then that wench turned me and my remaining uppermoons into stones

When we had awaken it was a new era 

I had achieved my goal of being able to stand in the sun again 

My uppermoons created a family

While I rule over the underground world being an infamous Yakuza Leader 

Everything that I ever wanted I have

And yet there's that empty feeling

That longing for something 

Or 

Someone 

But what?

Then I saw a familiar face 

It was my wife 

She was as beautiful as I remember her to be 

Even after a thousand years

i can still remember her 

Her smile

Her laugh

no I don't remember her voice 

Just her smile and how her eyes would always shine

And yet the woman I saw was dull 

Her eyes didn't shine 

It was like a void 

Her lips wasn't curled up in a smile 

Just a thin line 

I separate myself from kokushibo and followed her 

When we're alone in a street 

I called her name

She stopped 

And looked at me 

But those stares are cold 

Being stared at with such coldness doesn't usually bother me they just annoy me 

But

For those stares to be coming from 

my  wife