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Oathbreaker.
Ellana sat in a clearing in the forest, away from everyone else, as the words echoed in her mind.
Oathbreaker.
She recalled the feeling in her chest.
The spasming, gripping pain as she was told she had broken her oath.
Her oath, which had been her driving principle since she was nineteen years old. Her oath,
which had defined her life and set the course for nearly every decision she had made since.
Her oath was more than something to give her divine powers to combat her foes; it was her life. And she had thrown it all away. For power, of all things. She had let a hag—who she would’ve slain without a doubt in the past—live.
She did feel stronger, as the hag had promised, but at what cost? She had even managed to save the girl, Mayrina, which had been her primary objective. She wouldn’t have left her there, she told herself. She wouldn’t have taken the power if the hag took the girl too.
But as the words “oathbreaker” played over and over in her mind, she wondered if that were true.
All it took was a parasite. A parasite to infect her brain—a parasite that she was convinced would kill or transform her.
She told herself the hag’s gift was a way to ensure success against defeating whichever evil was behind the rot in her brain. But as she considered the events of the last tenday, she just wasn’t sure.
Her company had been… unusual. A wizard who was so hungry for power he literally had to eat magical items. A githyanki, whose interrogation tactics involved forcing an innocent man on his knees to question him. A cleric of Shar, which required no elaboration for how wrong that was. The only companions she’d picked up who she was certain were undoubtedly morally good people were Karlach and Wyll, yet she found herself more drawn to the others, and in particular, the vampire.
Perhaps he was where her descent had started.
It would be easy to blame him. Since the second she’d met him, she’d felt a thrill at doing things she never would’ve done in the past. She didn’t immediately kill him when he held a blade to her throat, instead finding some sort of sick satisfaction at being at the mercy of another.
She didn’t stake him when he tried to drink her blood in the night, and instead readily offered her neck—instead trying to ignore the delightful ache his fangs left in her neck.
In fact, she kept going back. Offering her body, her blood, to be used by a vampire, a creature her oath told her she should kill.
Yet she liked it, and the familiar feeling of disgust surged up as she considered just how far she’d fallen.
At the same time, she felt guilty for feeling disgusted. He had been a victim of a cruel master for years, and could he really help his nature? Sure, he could’ve helped biting her at night, and he could’ve helped encouraging her to take the hags power—but was he evil just because he had been forcefully turned into an undead creature?
She was no longer sure.
Ellana couldn’t help but bury her head in her hands and let out a muffled scream. Even as she was dealing with the severity of her oath being broken, she was somehow consumed by thoughts of Astarion.
And then, as if the Gods were laughing at her and trying to make her day worse, she heard a rustling noise as someone staggered into the clearing.
Of course, it was Astarion. Of course, it was the one person she absolutely didn’t want to see.
She turned her glare to the forest floor, hoping he somehow wouldn’t notice her. Naturally, he noticed her right away, because luck hadn’t been on her side ever since she was infected with this stupid parasite.
“There you are! My friend.” His voice, usually low and seductive (in a way that she would say she hated but secretly got a thrill out of), was slightly higher in pitch and sounded almost… happy? Silly? She wasn’t sure what exactly he was feeling, but he sounded… different.
Glancing up, she noticed he was wobbly, looking refreshed and happy. She felt her cheeks flush at the sight of him, his hair slightly more unkempt than usual, his shirt untucked, his eyes shining off the fullness of the blood of whatever creature he’d found…
Gods, what was wrong with her?
She knew with every ounce of her being that she shouldn’t be attracted to him. She was a Paladin, for crying out loud. Paladins were the last people who should be attracted to vampires. It wasn’t even just that he was a vampire—he was cruel. He delighted in any action their companions took that was unkind, and he heckled her for doing the morally just thing. He especially rolled his eyes whenever she talked about the tenets of her oath.
He actively encouraged her to be bad, and no matter how much it shouldn’t be, it was alluring to her.
Realizing she was caught in her reverie and not wanting to explain her silence, Ellana got to her feet, looking Astarion in the eye. This was the most carefree she’d ever seen him, and no matter how much she wanted to be mad at him for her own mistakes, she couldn’t help the warmth that spread through her chest.
“Are you drunk?” She asked, trying not to retreat back into her head as he began talking. However, she began to zone out as he spoke about killing a bear and drinking blood. She was back in her thoughts, mulling over her broken oath. He was rambling on about bears, blood, and who knows what else; eventually, though, he seemed to realize she wasn’t listening.
“Still sulking about your oath, are you?” He scoffed, and at this, her head shot up. She felt her pulse rate begin to increase and she inhaled deeply at his words. How dare he? Her life had been changed, shattered; she was at a point of crisis, and he had the nerve to mock her?
“Excuse me?” She said, trying to keep her tone even as she stood up as straight as possible, glaring at him.
“What? Is it really that big of a deal? The whole need to be a hero thing was getting a little old, darling. Now you can use as many tadpoles as you want, kill whoever you want, and not need to be so solemn all the time!” His voice turned sarcastic at the end, and she stepped closer to him, her hands curling into fists.
“Take it back,” she threatened, her voice thick with malice.
“Gods, you’re not actually mad are you?” his voice was laced with amusement and as she looked in his eyes, she saw that he truly found this funny.
“Of course I am!” She said, not realizing she was yelling until she heard herself out loud. “I broke my oath, the thing that gives me divine abilities to fight our foes, the thing that makes me good!”
As she spoke, she continued to step closer and closer to him, almost unconsciously. She knew she should stop; she knew she should shut up. She knew she should turn around and walk back to camp. Astarion didn’t care. He thought this was some big joke, and that people like her were naïve and wasting their lives. But here she had him all alone, and for once, she was just done. It was unfair of her, but she wanted to yell at someone, and considering he had the nerve to think this didn’t matter, he would be the one who got the brunt of her anger.
“You have such an easy time criticizing me for doing the right thing! You, Shadowheart, Lae’zel; you all make it clear that you think I’m wasting all of our times. A few tendays with you and suddenly, my oath is gone!” Her voice sounded pathetic and hysterical at this point, but she didn’t care. “Before this parasite, I always did the right thing, no questions asked. Then I end up with a cleric of Shar, a githyanki, and a vampire of all things.”
It wasn’t until those words left her mouth that Ellana realized just how terrible she sounded. She was being unfair, but Gods, it felt good to put the blame on someone else. She was always taking responsibility for everything and everyone, always turning the other cheek when her companions were rude, always being so fucking nice; and if her oath was broken, she could be as mean as she wanted.
“Ha!” Astarion let out a loud, incredulous laugh, and Ellana snapped back into the present. His eyes had hardened, no longer looking amused at her inner turmoil. Good.
“You hypocrite! You criticize us for our nature, when you’re the one who, on your own, I might add, made the decision to let that hag live in order to get a little stronger. You can hardly judge us when out of everyone here, you did the worst thing out of all of us. I’m almost impressed, really. Here I thought you’d be so innocent and boring forever,” he retorted, his eyes turning completely into a glower as he stared at her. “Before you accuse us of being so terrible, maybe take a look in the mirror, darling.”
His words cut deep, but she wasn’t about to admit it.
“At least I can actually see myself in the mirror,” she muttered, speaking just loud enough that he could hear. She flinched at her own words, guilt washing through her, knowing that it had been an uncharacteristically vulnerable moment for him to tell her about how much his lack of reflection bothered him. She was just so angry and hurt from the events of the day, and here he was, calling out all her insecurities.
Astarion’s face cycled through emotions so quickly that if she blinked, she wouldn’t have caught them all. First, surprise, as if he couldn’t believe her words and couldn’t believe that his sweet paladin friend would say something so mean. Second, he looked genuinely hurt, and that moment made her heart ache. She hadn’t seen Astarion sad often, but when he looked distressed, it reminded her of her childhood puppy when he couldn’t have a treat. Simply an awful look. But as soon as that expression flickered across his face that had no business being so perfect, the mask was back up, and he looked amused, once again.
“Oh, but I already have you as my mirror, don’t I?” A seductive smile had graced his lips as he spoke, reminding her of their conversation where she’d described him in far too romantic terms. Ellana suddenly found it very difficult to focus on her anger. She knew, to an extent, that Astarion did this to mask emotion; the flirting, the seduction, it was masking something else. She also knew that she was so emotionally turbulent right now that if he said just the right thing, she would be his in a heartbeat.
“Tell me something,” he said, his eyes flickering to her neck, pausing on her lips, before settling back on her eyes which had gone wide under his gaze. “If you judge me so deeply for being a vampire, then why do you offer me your neck every night?”
His question almost sounded innocent and his tone implied genuine curiosity, but the look in his eyes betrayed his intentions. He was trying to get to her.
“I – I’m just trying to help,” She offered, her voice timid. Upon realizing how close they were now standing to each other, she took a step back and took a deep breath, trying to calm her racing heart.
“Is that really all it is?” He inquired, closing the distance between them again as he countered the step back she’d taken, close enough again that she could easily press her lips into his if she wanted. Her cheeks flushed as she realized that she had, in fact, been looking at his lips, and her widened eyes shot back up to his.
“Your body says different,” He continued thoughtfully, looking her up and down. She felt small under his gaze as she shivered, and a perverse part of her hoped he liked what he saw. “Your little shakes of excitement, the way your hands tangled in my hair, the gasps that came out of your mouth as I had my fill of you…”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” She retorted quickly, trying to keep her breathing even.
“Oh, come now, don’t lie,” he grinned, his eyes darkening. She backed up into a tree and he stalked towards her. She cursed the Gods for making him taller than her, because he now towered over her, his hand resting on the tree above her head as he looked down at her.
“I – paladins are sworn to help,” She offered, knowing that it was the most pathetic excuse she could’ve come up with.
He let out a laugh at this, head thrown back as if it was the funniest thing he’d ever heard.
“Well, you broke your oath, so I suppose that means no more late-night visits to your bedroll.” He shoved himself off the tree, beginning to turn away from her, and before she could process what she was doing, she grabbed his hand.
His hand, cold and strong, fit in hers so perfectly. He turned his head first, and she saw the smirk forming across his face, on those perfect lips that she had thought about kissing far too often.
“I shouldn’t like it,” she confessed, as he fully turned his body, facing her again. If he just stepped a little closer, his body would be pressed against her. She could no longer deny how badly she wanted that.
“My oath… my whole life… I’ve been told that undead are dangerous and evil,” she whispered, staring into his eyes. His expression was unreadable, but his hand stayed in hers, their fingers now laced. His thumb was drawing patterns on the back of her hand. He was so close now and his mere presence was doing things to her that others hadn’t been able to even when she was completely naked.
She swallowed as his other hand rested against the tree again, his body leaning in even closer to the point their foreheads almost touched.
“Is that what you think?” He whispered, intoxicatingly close to her lips. “Am I dangerous?”
“I don’t know,” She admitted, and as their eyes met again, she saw his eyes were darkened and filled with something primal. It sent a surge through her as she realized he wanted her just as badly as she wanted him.
“You broke your oath, the oath that told you to hate me…” He trailed off, and his eyes searched her face, taking in every inch of it. She wondered what he saw and if he liked it.
“I did,” She agreed. “But I still have… principles…”
She gulped as he gently brushed a few stray hairs that had fallen out of her ponytail away from her face, his thumb eventually resting on her cheek.
“Oh? And what do your principles say about this?”
She realized quickly why he moved her hair as his lips returned to her neck. She braced herself for the familiar, satisfying sting of his fangs, but was left surprised when instead, he kissed her neck gently. The feeling set her core aflame, and she gasped as she felt herself grow wet, all of the arousal she’d been suppressing suddenly coming out. She thought to herself just how embarrassing this was; she was soaked and all he’d done was kiss her neck. His teeth lightly grazed her skin and she let out a moan, jolting forward unintentionally. Astarion’s body was finally flush against hers and she nearly cried out at how good it felt.
Ellana whined in disappointment as he pulled away from her to look her in the eyes again.
“I asked you a question,” he said, his voice low and menacing.
“My principles say it’s wrong,” she whispered, squeezing her thighs together in an attempt to get some relief. “But my body very much says it’s exactly what I need right now.”
“Good,” He murmured, his lips ghosting over hers. “Because there are no principles that would approve of the depraved, carnal things I’m about to do to you.”
Ellana’s eyes widened at his words, but when she saw the hungry look on his face, any sense of resolve in her was gone. She would submit to him; she would let him do whatever he wanted to her body, and she would deal with the consequences later. Their lips met in a rough, passionate kiss. Ellana quickly opened her mouth as he consumed her. He seemed to want to lead, and she was more than happy to follow. It didn’t take long for his hands to begin trailing down her body, squeezing gently on her neck before following the curve of her downwards. One hand rested on her breast, and she let out a gasp of surprise as he gently tweaked her nipple that had grown hard. With his other hand, he reached down to the laces of her trousers, making short work of them. He pulled away for a moment, reaching for the bottom of her shirt impatiently. She couldn’t help but giggle as he tore it off of her. She didn’t know if she’d ever felt as desired as she did right now. She wasn’t a virgin, but her encounters had all been brief and somewhat disappointing. As she met Astarion’s eyes and saw the pure lust in them, she knew that she wouldn’t walk away from this clearing disappointed.
As soon as Ellana’s bra was off, Astarion quickly dropped to her left nipple, taking it into his mouth. He very much knew what he was doing, and Ellana had to cover her mouth with her arm to muffle the moan that passed through her lips. As he alternated between licking and sucking, his hand trailed down the length of her body once more, before sliding under her trousers, and resting outside her underwear.
“Gods, darling,” he groaned, pulling away from her nipple as he stroked her clit through her panties. The contact made her hips buck, his fingers running down her folds at the movement. “You’ve completely soaked through,” he whispered, an almost reverent sound in his voice as he continued rubbing small circles on her hardened nub.
“I need more,” She groaned, desperate for the barrier that remained between them to be removed.
“Then more you shall receive,” he whispered into her neck. She was still pressed against that Gods damned uncomfortable tree, but right now, she could not care less.
Astarion moved her panties aside with his fingers and quickly made contact with her bare clit, causing Ellana to cry out. She no longer cared how loud she was, no longer cared if she was embarrassing herself; this felt so fucking good, and she had to express that.
He rubbed soothing circles around her nub, and she threw her head back, ignoring the painful thud of her head hitting the tree. Ellana lifted her leg and wrapped it around his back, pulling him in closer. She realized then just how painfully hard he was, and her eyes rolled back as she imagined what he’d feel like inside of her fully.
“These need to get out of the way,” he growled, pulling her trousers and underwear down in one fluid motion. She stepped out of them quickly, now completely naked while he was still fully clothed.
“What a naughty little paladin,” he breathed, dropping onto his knees in front of her. “Completely naked and bare, about to be ravished by a creature you’ve been taught is so dangerous.” He smirked up at her before lifting one of her legs over his shoulder. She felt herself throb at his words. She did enjoy this thoroughly; she was about to be fucked by someone dangerous and deadly, someone who could end her if he wanted to, and that sick, depraved part of her absolutely loved it.
She didn’t have much more time to think on this as Astarion parted her folds once more, his tongue quickly finding her clit. Ellana felt white hot pleasure course through her as he worked her bud, alternating between sucking and licking. Every so often, he’d ask her what felt best, and accommodate as needed to build her closer and closer. She was having the best sexual experience she’d ever had, and he hadn’t even taken his clothes off yet. When he slowly slid two fingers into her entrance, she knew she was done. It only took a few thrusts of his fingers for her to come completely undone, shaking and clamping her thighs around his head. The noises coming out of her were foreign to her ears, but she loved every second of it.
Astarion rose to his feet as she came down, a satisfied grin on his face.
“Changed your mind about me yet?” He said lowly, his hands finally reaching down to take off his shirt.
“If anything, I think you’re more dangerous now than I did before,” she responded, out of breath. “I would break my oath all over again if it meant getting to feel this way every night.”
Astarion groaned at her words, clearly enjoying the thought that he had corrupted her even further. He was out of his trousers impossibly fast, and before she could react, he was on her again, his entire bare body pressing into hers. As he kissed her, she tasted herself on his lips and rolled her hips into his. His erection pressed into her, and she wanted nothing more than to feel him in her.
Tentatively, she allowed her hand to trail down his body, grasping at the head of his hardened length. He moaned out the second she touched him, and she took this as a sign of encouragement to spread precum over the tip, finally fully pumping his length. He thrusted suddenly into her hand, and she couldn’t help but smirk at the knowledge that he wanted this just as badly as she did.
“As much as I’m enjoying your hand darling, I’d much prefer to be buried inside of you.” His voice came out as a raspy whisper which sent another surge of desire through her core, and she quickly nodded in response, ready to give herself to him fully in whichever way he wanted.
“Turn around,” he said, voice low and sultry.
She moved her body quickly, at a point of desperation now to feel him inside of her. Her cheek rubbed against the tree, and she knew she would have a mark tomorrow from the hardness of it, but she simply didn’t care. The roughness of this entire experience was a new thing for her, a new thing that she quickly knew she loved. She tried to turn her head, the anticipation of what Astarion was doing driving her into a frenzy, but he instead wrapped his fingers in the base of her ponytail to make sure she couldn’t see him. She whimpered impatiently.
“Eager little thing, aren’t you?” He cooed in her ear, and she rolled her hips as if to say yes, absolutely.
He merely chuckled, before placing both her hands above her head and pulling her hips back so she was in the perfect position for him to finally enter her. She gasped as she felt the head of him tease at her folds, and her eyes rolled back at the simple pleasure of it all. Gods, she would be ruined before the night was through.
He pushed into her in one fluid movement, meeting no resistance whatsoever. If she hadn’t been completely overcome in the pleasure of finally feeling him inside of her, she may have had enough sense to be embarrassed that he had completely fucking soaked her in a way no one ever had before. He filled her in such a satisfying way, and they let out a collective moan as they both adjusted to the feeling of their joining.
As he began to thrust into her, she nearly blacked out at just how good he felt inside of her. He didn’t relent, pushing into her fast and hard, finding that perfect spot inside of her as if he’d explored her body a million times before. The forest clearing was filled with the sounds of their hips slapping into each other, and both of their desperate, needy moans. She had never been so loud, never cried out another’s names with such desperation, and she was so fucking glad she’d ignored her better judgement for once.
As Ellana felt herself growing closer and closer, she struggled to get her hands free from his grasp. She needed to touch him, to scratch his back, to pull on his hair, to do anything to express everything she was feeling.
Abruptly, he pulled out.
“Why’d you stop?” She hissed, her eyes blazing as she turned around to glare at him. There was a complete ache between her thighs now, but not a good one; she already missed the feeling of being completely filled by him.
“Sweetheart, your legs are shaking, you’re not going to be able to hold yourself up for much longer. If you would lie down, I’d be more than happy to continue,” he said, confidently grinning at the state of her. He looked her up and down and she felt suddenly self-conscious as she considered how she must look, entire body flushed, the mark on her cheek from where her head had been pressing into the tree, the feral look in her eyes…
She took a moment to examine him. She hadn’t gotten a proper look at him before, and she felt her mouth begin to water as she fully took in his naked body. He was so perfect, sculpted as if the Gods themselves made him to ruin her. And she would be ruined; she knew in that moment she would offer him her body as often as he wanted it, any oath she’d taken be damned. He was what she needed now.
She stumbled backwards before lowering her body to sit on the forest floor and spread her legs as she rested back on her elbows. He towered over her for a moment, and she loved the feeling of submitting to him, of his absolute dominance over her in this moment.
He sank to his knees for the second time that night, except this time, he still towered over her. He gave a few gentle rubs to her clit again and her hips bucked forward, that satisfied smirk staying on his face as he spread her legs apart further. He quickly lined himself up again, pushing into her easily. They both groaned again at the contact, and he wasted no time setting a punishing pace, allowing himself to fall forwards onto her. She caught his lips with her own, completely losing any rhyme or rhythm on how to properly kiss, instead opening her mouth, and just letting him devour her.
He pulled away as his hips continued to grind into hers, turning his attention to her neck. She gasped as she felt Astarion’s fangs graze her. Her hands fisted his curls, which had become completely dishevelled in a beautiful way.
“Please,” she whimpered, wrapping her legs around the small of his back to feel him completely pressed into her. She arched her back, trying so hard to feel every inch of him. She already had so much of him, but it would never be enough.
“Does my little paladin want the big, bad vampire to bite her?” He teased in response, allowing his tongue to trail over her neck.
“Gods, yes,” She hissed, any trace of shame gone. He didn’t need any more encouragement and sunk his fangs into her neck, the feeling going straight to her core. He began to thrust impossibly faster, bringing her closer and closer to the edge. As he drank more and more, her mind went fuzzier and fuzzier, from blood loss and utter delight. He pulled away just before it would’ve been too much, groaning loudly. She took in his face, lips covered in her blood, his eyes wide and feral. She’d never seen anything more arousing.
She managed to lift her head just a little and he got the hint, crashing his lips into hers once more. His thrusts were losing their rhythm now, becoming more needy and desperate as she rolled her hips to meet his. She tasted the metallic tang of her blood on his tongue, and with that, she completely let go, throbbing and crying out louder than she had the entire night. Her second orgasm hit her even harder than the first, and she was almost shocked at just how much her body was actually able to handle.
The contractions of her cunt pushed him over the edge as well, and she wrapped him even tighter around her as he spilled himself into her.
She was completely breathless as he stilled above her, his face buried in her neck.
“Still regret breaking your oath, darling?” He said after a moment, as he pushed himself off of her and onto his knees.
She was still coming down from her orgasm, and her heart pounded in her chest, but she took a moment to think through his question.
“Yes,” She admitted, and she could swear she saw a brief flash of disappointment in his eyes. “But,” she continued slowly, searching his face as she spoke. “My oath never told me that this was wrong, no matter what I said earlier.” And it was true. It’s not like her oath specifically said, “do not have sex with vampire spawn,” and even if it did, she was no longer bound by its tenets.
His face broke out into a grin again and pulled her into a sitting position.
“Good,” He murmured, his thumb drawing patterns over her cheek. “Because I plan on corrupting you for as many nights as you’ll allow me.”
She let out a giggle, a sound that she would deny making if he asked her about it in the morning, the absurdity of his words catching up to her. She had broken her oath, she had shattered her principles, she’d had sex with a vampire; but more than anything, she’d had sex with her friend, someone that she’d come to respect throughout their travels, even if she’d never admit it. It was in that moment, with his crimson eyes meeting hers and a soft, half-smile flittering across his face, that she realized she was in trouble. Not because she was an Oathbreaker, not because she felt herself growing darker and darker each moment that passed with a parasite in her brain; no, she was in trouble, because the way Astarion looked at her made her chest swell up and made her feel something she hadn’t felt in years.
“By the way,” she said, as she forced herself to get to her feet. “Sorry for the mirror comment.”
To her relief, he laughed at her words.
“Oh, my sweet, I was impressed! I didn’t know you had such cruelty in you. I quite enjoy you as an Oathbreaker.” His tone was playful and kind, and she took a moment to revel in just how much she loved this side of him.
“I also don’t think I’m better than you,” she admitted, gathering her clothing up in preparation to put it back in. “It was just easier to blame you than to admit how far I’ve fallen from who I used to be.”
“If this is the result of you blaming me for your darker desires,” he said, gesturing between their naked bodies. “Then I will take the blame happily any day.”
She couldn’t help but smile at him, and step closer to where he now stood. She pressed a soft, gentle kiss to his lips. He responded tentatively at first, as if he didn’t know what to make of someone kissing him so chastely. When she pulled away, he had a surprised look on his face.
“Thank you for tonight,” she whispered, their foreheads touching. “I don’t know what breaking my oath means for me, but I am happy to follow my own path now, wherever it may lead.”
“And I’m happy to be here to lead you down the darkest path possible,” he joked back, giving her hand a gentle squeeze.
She simply smiled at his words and began to redress herself, once again trying to ignore the warm feeling that spread through her at his words.
She started the night with one problem and ended it with another; she was reasonably sure she had feelings for someone, and feelings led to messiness and heartbreak. Yet as she took in his face one last time, she began to wonder if that was such a bad thing after all. Wherever her path led, she was glad to have him by her side.