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Anya is a tough nut to crack
- - -
‘That girl is utterly inscrutable! An enigma if I’ve ever seen one!’
The girl’s supposed father feels the need to shout out, but he opts for a long sigh to voice his despair instead.
The source of his demise, an intriguingly perceptive pink-haired bundle of childlike curiosity, sits on the rug in her room one hall away with a bag of peanuts and without a care in the world.
It had been a regular Thursday afternoon in the Forger household with the usual warm welcome home, excited and excruciatingly detailed recounting of the past school day, as well as gentle laughter over a delicious meal.
Like so often, everything was going perfectly well.. until it was time to focus on something all three (four, if you count their empathetic four-legged cloud) learned to dread - the homework.
In fact, the attempt at a study session went so badly, that the usual rewarding episode of her favorite spy cartoon afterwards was called off. This in turn earned a melodramatic outcry that was eventually soothed by some motherly consolation and a begrudging agreement to tape it for her to see another time. That and her snack of preference seemed to do the trick since she waddles off to her room with the plastic bag clutched to her hip shortly afterwards. Jutted lip, dried tears and everything.
The man rubs his temple at the memory.
‘Probably wouldn’t be too far off assuming she’s my karma.’
While studying was not something little Anya seemed to enjoy much from the very beginning, it was just now getting clearer to Twilight just how much of an issue this could cause Operation Strix. Her not making bigger strides in her academics equals a longer wait for Stellas earned, entry to Imperial Scholar Events and putting a stop to any potential imminent war planning courtesy of sunken eyed politicians even he had to admit were nothing short of creepy..
‘It simply doesn’t make sense why she’d be struggling quite this much, she normally seems so..insightful. And the crossword back at the orphanage cannot have been a coincidence! She aced that without a hitch. The difficulty level didn’t seem to phase her at all. Even I wouldn’t have been able to pull that off at her age…Of course now it’d be mere child’s play…’
If he could just take matters into his own hands, figure out a way to disguise himself as a child to infiltrate and excel at the school on his own he would, but - he couldn’t. He can’t. No, this time around world class super spy Agent Twilight has to rely on a little kid to ensure world peace.
‘What a colossal pain..’
As if to fend off the oncoming headache he screws his eyes shut and pinches the bridge of his nose.
Yor Forger, the quickly inaugurated mother figure of the family, finds him cradling his head at the dining table mumbling underneath his breath.
While it has not yet been a year since their little pact to help each other out under the guise of a family, the woman has quickly grown accustomed to life with the Forgers. And although the sentiment is always accompanied by a twinge in the gut, she doesn’t even want to begin imagining a life after the Forgers.
Even the view of her frowning faux husband grumbling to himself is something she has by now been familiarized with.
By now she knows most of his ruminations are dedicated to fretting about the mechanics of raising a certain little green eyed girl she has come to hold very dearly or generally any way of improving their way of life and appearance as a picture-perfect family.
And while she hopes he doesn’t dwell on the worrisome possibilities too much, she can’t help finding his brooding extremely adorable.
That’s not the only thing she finds adorable about him though. Not by far.
She thinks he’s most charming when he’s overwhelmed by Anya’s wild nature, sure, but she couldn’t possibly decide whether he’s sweeter when they’re all out together on one of their lovely ‘ootings’, posing as a loving father and husband, or when they’re home alone. No, his cutest attribute must be his duality when it comes to her and Anya. How one compliment can render him a nervous blushing mess as opposed to his usual stoic demeanor. That, Yor decides, must be her favorite side of him. An honest and vulnerable side she only rarely got to see in the earlier months but is gratefully exposed to more and more frequently.
Although they put up a good show of a not so newlywed couple that is just about ready to celebrate their second anniversary - truthfully, they’re just now getting started.
Over the past months the two have grown undeniably closer.
It didn’t take a genius to have predicted they would, but what took both of them by surprise was how quickly and intensely their feelings toward each other took on a romantic nature - or much rather how it crept up to the usually so guarded pair unnoticed. Alright maybe it wasn’t completely unnoticed. Maybe what really took them by surprise was the fact that those feelings were actually reciprocated. Between him pretty much giving up any hope for a successful seduction after that disastrous rejection at the bar and her stubborn refusal to believe he could ever be interested in someone like her in the first place, they somehow managed to bridge the gap and look behind the facade.
‘And it worked out pretty well for us I’d say..’
Gazing over softly, she tuts and makes her way to him.
With every step she takes, his darkened under eyes look more and more prominent and it doesn’t fail to bring a frown on her face.
She knows for a fact he’s been having trouble sleeping lately, meaning there’s at least one of his many concerns that’s coming in strong enough to keep him up at night. Well not if she can’t help it.
‘After all that’s what a wife should do! Uhm figuring out what’s bothering him of course, not the keeping up at night! Uh..’
Now desperately trying to tamp down a blazing blush Yor positions herself before him.
At his startled expression all other thoughts seem to fly out the window and she fixes him with a soft gaze. ‘Here come the deflections..’
Perhaps a bit caught off guard, Twilight stares up at her. ‘Just how long has she been here? I really am off my game. God, she must’ve seen me practically moping. That won’t do..’
With practiced ease the spy shifts into a relaxed demeanor, leaving no trace of the anxiety taking over his posture just seconds before and holds her gaze. ‘Loid Forger is no man who’d want to give his wife unnecessary reason to worry about him.’
“Darling! You surprised me..I was just thinking about this patient of mine, he’s a bit of a tough nut to crack, heh, speaking of nuts - shouldn’t we go check on Anya? If she goes through the entire bag again she’ll get a-”, is as far as he gets before he is promptly shushed by a wine red painted fingernail and a stern expression.
‘I really am off my game..’
“Do not start with me, Loid Forger.”
Something about hearing that tone coupled with that look coming from his usually timid, agreeable wife made him freeze right then and there.
It was almost as if the fierce glint in her eyes alerted his survival instinct, but before he could dwell further on her nearly murderous gaze, her face took on the usual serene air he’s more used to seeing her sport.
All petals, no thorns.
She drops her finger and leans back giving him some space to breathe and, unbeknownst to her, for his heart rate to calm down.
Now appearing considerably less confident than just seconds before she stands before him kneading her hands and studiously avoiding his gaze while she tries to find the right words. He thinks he’d stay mute the entire night to wait for her to find the courage to speak.
“I..I know something is bothering you and, and I would just like to remind you, now, that I’m here..if you need me. To talk. Or whatever shape of comfort you might need. I’m here. And…would love to help”
It’s the fact that she says that last part almost longingly that does him in.
The blond can’t help the smile that curves his lips when he slowly claps her hands in his to make her look at him. When she does, he inhales deeply and starts off with a sigh,
“..it’s..Anya.”
With a gentle knowing smile Yor gives his hands a tiny squeeze and timidly shoots a glance at his lap as a way of asking for permission which Loid - though initially startled - gladly grants.
Now sitting comfortably, she snakes her arms around his neck and fixes him with an almost amused look.
“You know she has greatly improved her handwriting over the past few days.”
“Oh really? Great, so you think we can expect her next runaway letter to be legible?”
When his wife huffs a little laugh he cracks a grin as well. ‘She really is a handful, the little twerp.’
As Yor soberes, she lifts a hand to his face and looks him in the eye meaningfully and he takes the cue to continue: “It’s just..sometimes when I struggle and fail to teach her how to accomplish basic tasks like that it sort of feels like…the end of the world”.
He feels silly phrasing it like that - despite the literal context. He averts his gaze and grows thoughtful, “I try to give my best, but-“
As if pulling him back from the advancing bombardment of negative thoughts she promptly cuts him off, “Hey. Hey, look at me. Remember what she said in that school interview? What she keeps reminding us of every chance she gets?”
Not unlike a petulant child Loid languidly answers her question with a low: “A hundred points..”
"Exactly! One hundred points! That’s a worthy indication of you doing a good job wouldn’t you say?”.
He fixes her with an affectionate gaze as she clasps his face with both hands, squishing his cheeks a bit in the process. Any other time she would have taken more time to revel in the sight of her ever so handsome and put together husband sporting a goofy expression but right now she has a point to prove. ‘Later then’
“You are already a wonderful father to this little girl and I know she will go on to make you proud. I’m sure of it.”
Completely transfixed he continues to look at her before he snaps out of it a bit to mutter a little “Well, if you put it like that..”
Yor only giggles and buries her hands in the hair at his nape. A gesture he only ever remembers to have disliked until it was her to do it.
“See, talking about it helped, didn’t it? It’s like my father always used to say: ‘When in a bind, just give someone a piece of your mind’.”
After the initial confusion Loid lets out a strangled chuckle almost as if he had struggled to keep it in.
“Yor, don’t you think he was maybe talking about giving someone a piece of your mind - as in telling them off?”, he asks carefully.
Yor regards him wide-eyed. “No, no I know he meant sharing your thoughts. I’m guessing he just put it like that because of the language barrier”.
After a beat of silence they both laugh out loud.
She shakes her head smiling. ”I mean Spanish was his first and preferred language after all...He never bothered to learn much more German than he absolutely had to”, she stated with a twinkle in her eye.
Loid takes the chance to find out more about her past and gently intertwines their fingers.
“You know you never mentioned your father before.”
“Neither did you.”
“Touché.”
He takes a moment to let that sink in. It’s incredible how comfortable she had gotten around him. And vice versa. The old Yor would probably never talk quite this boldly and openly to him - at least not sober. What distracts him a bit is the bitterness of liking her like this, not wanting it any other way.
“What was your father like? You've truly never once mentioned him…”
The question pulls him out of his reverie.
He huffs a breath ‘Rough topic’, but decides to humor her.
“If you had asked me a couple years ago, I'd have said it's because he was a bad father…but now that I've had the chance to partake in the same experience - step in his shoes for a change if you will - I don't know If I would be in the right to make that judgement.”
Her frown deepens and she goes to stroke his chest but he continues: “He was a ..stoic, idealistic kind of man. Hard demeanor. Unless things went according to plan - that’s when you’d occasionally witness a smile..”, he decides not to dwell too much on the image of the older man granting him a smile. He doesn’t like the feeling it evokes.“He was set on his world views and there was absolutely no space for adjustments. He also had a very clear vision for his family…he just didn't have a good way of expressing his need for those ideals to be met.”
Twilight sank his teeth into his lower lip and exhaled deeply. Over the last two decades he hadn’t allowed himself to think about those times all that much - if at all. It’s true, some years back, perhaps when the sting of the wounds was still more fresh, he wouldn’t have hesitated to badmouth the mostly absent father figure who, when around, spent most of the time fighting with his mother and scolding him. Perhaps it made it a bit easier to pin the blame on one person he’d surely never see again and would thus never be confronted with again. To hate him. But one emotion that always lurked just beneath the contempt was guilt. Guilt, for all the things he could have done differently - all the ways he could’ve perhaps been a better son to merit a better dad. The thoughts evoked a blurry mental image of what seemed to be a wooden rifle and it’s like he could almost hear sounds of laughter at a fair - but they were gone as soon as they came. No, now that he’s the one waving his finger in front of a child and pushing his ideals on to her..who is he to judge, really?
‘Oh well so my dad slapped me around from time to time. You don’t have a happy perfect little family and end up in my line of work after all. And that goes for both occupations.’
It’s when he raises his eyes to look at Yor that he realizes his vision is blurred.
She all but lunges for him and hugs him fiercely, wordlessly smoothing her right hand out over his shoulder blades as if to invite him to let it all out.
He feels like she’ll start clapping his back like a newborn if he doesn’t put a stop to this and soon. So he rolls his shoulders, sniffs once, twice, fixes his posture and clears his throat to say:
”Enough about me. Your turn.”
When Yor detangles from him enough to meet his gaze she’s well aware he’s feigning nonchalance but decides she’s pressed him far enough for today.
He watches her pull together a bit as if now uncomfortable sharing her paternal experiences.
“Hmm. I’m afraid I don’t have very many more profound anecdotes to share and quite frankly… my parents were both pretty great.”
A sudden change in her demeanor catches his attention.
“The only thing I could fault them for, is leaving this world too early..but even that I can’t truly blame them for.”
The statement takes him aback. It’s spoken with such well concealed, deep pain it gives his heart a little squeeze. He recognizes it as a profound understanding. When he sees her forlorn, numb expression and her usually so expressive crimson eyes dull it’s like he’s seeing a version of himself. ‘To think how much she must’ve practiced for such a meticulous mask’.
It suddenly fills him with a sense of urgency for what he does and the deep desire for the world he wants to help achieve. It also irrationally makes him want to fulfill her every wish and take her on those other 861 dates to distract her from this mood she’s feeling - if only for a second.
Before he can reprimand himself for such incredibly compromising thoughts, she continues on rather melancholically. “But yes, my father..he was.. pretty great.”, she finishes with a blinding smile.
How this woman manages to jump from one mood to another will never cease to amaze him. It’s contagious though,
“Were you two close?”.
The question seems to have an energizing effect on her because she practically bounces with excitement “Oh absolutely! I was a total daddy’s girl, just like Anya.”
This time around he doesn’t even try to suppress a smile. “Is that so?”
“Mhm. I mean don’t get me wrong, I loved my mother, in fact everyone loved my mother, she was quite hard not to love..”
Loid couldn’t help thinking that must be something Yor inherited from her then.
“But me and my father...we had this connection..it's like we could communicate without words like..like, like, I don’t know - spies would! You know?”
Her conversational partner, who had been shamelessly staring at his wife’s ‘adorable’ mannerisms, jolts at the mention of his secret occupation but quickly covers up any panic with a suave:
“I can imagine.”
If she noticed his slip up she doesn't let it show. “He was a boisterous man, loud, lively and passionate in everything he did.” She grows wistful, “I know it’s completely irrational and stupid to even entertain such thoughts but, I think he would’ve loved Anya. I.. I would’ve loved for them to meet..”
He raises a hand to stroke her black tresses and she nestles her head in the crook of his neck and picks up where she left off: “Well I guess the closest thing I’ll have is seeing her with Yuri. He is growing to look more and more like our dad every day”.
Loid smirks at this, Yors comparison conjuring up a mental image of Yuri close to tears trying to make a clueless Anya understand the concept of autosomal inheritance for her midterms, all so he could get his dear sister's praise.
“He loves her a lot, you know.”
She’s met with an incredulous look.
“No really! I’ve noticed he talks about her more often, I rarely hear him say ‘no’ around her anymore…The other day I saw him jot down some things on a notepad when Anya was listing what she wanted for her birthday.” She giggles “He’s going soft.”
He tries to ignore the tiny voice in his head.
‘He ain’t the only one..’
“It’s a bit odd to see him open up like this to someone though. Since he always had a bit of a suspicious nature to him, I rarely got to see it growing up…you know, I can't help but blame myself for his tendency to having trust issues sometimes. Maybe if I had done a better job at including other people into our little life, people trustworthy and close enough to call longtime friends..and such ..then maybe..maybe it would have been easier for him to just let loose and show love unabashedly.” ‘This goes for me as well of course’, “but truth is there was nobody. Nobody we could trust to alleviate our life more than risking our hard-earned happiness and I could not bear any more hits to our happiness...”
Loid regards her patiently, waiting in case there’s more to follow, but when she simply fixes the massive bouquet of red roses on the cabinet across with a hard stare and her eyes begin to get that forlorn look again, he shifts a bit to get her attention.
“Yor, you did all you could.. you gave it your best.”
He gives her a warm look, admiration and some deeper sentiment swimming in his pale blue eyes. It makes her want to get up and brew him his favorite tea, iron his shirts for work tomorrow and simultaneously stay like this forever.
“I know I did, but I guess sometimes you can't help but wonder if your best is gonna be enough..”
‘And my oh my doesn’t that ring a bell’, he thinks.
‘Huh. Guess I’m not the only one plagued by these thoughts. Guess I’m not ..alone..in this.’
He stares into nothing for a bit before absentmindedly reaching for the back of her hand and placing a mute kiss across her knuckles.
Despite her becoming more and more used to his little acts of affection here and there, she’s still caught a bit off guard and desperately tries to keep still as he seems to examine her fingers.
She thinks she might start blabbering about how he should just forget everything she said, that she was simply talking nonsense, when he finally speaks up: “You know what we haven’t gotten around to do yet ...”
He seems a bit lost in thought when he says the next thing: “We gotta get you a ring. You should..We should both start wearing our wedding rings.”
Somewhat successfully fighting off the oncoming blush she tilts her head a bit and looks past him with a pensive finger to her lips.
“Whatever do you mean? I have my grenade pin after all”.
His first reaction triggers all sorts of alarms in his head urging him to remind her to never ever share that little story with anyone but the second reaction shortly after fills him with a fuzzy warmth he tries to ignore in vain. ‘She kept that?’.
When the corners of her mouth curl up in mirth and she tilts her head the other side, fluttering her eyelashes at him he confirms she’s just being playful.
Next thing she knows she’s wrapped tightly in his arms and his breath ruffles the top of her hair.
‘Look at that, I feel completely…at peace’
“Yor, you should know I...”
“Blluurghrmblh.”
Both horrified pairs of eyes quickly survey the room for the family dog when their gaze falls on the actual disturbance standing a couple feet away in the doorstep of her room. Or more specifically her tummy. It speaks up: “Anya..”, and another grumble follows, “Anya doesn’t feel so good…” She raises her face to showcase a distinctly disgusted expression.
When their eyes simultaneously lower to the now empty plastic bag still practically glued to her fingers they share a quick look of understanding before swiftly walking over to their little girl.
“Oh you poor thing! Have a bit of a stomach ache?”, “You know if you had just listened earlier when I warned you..”
Meanwhile the family ball of fluff who had until now been slumbering peacefully underneath the coffee table slowly makes his way over but stops in his tracks when he sees the three crouched in the hallway illuminated by the dim light of Anya’s room.
As if on cue he’s hit by a vision so clear he might’ve confused it with what was actually before him - the same three people huddled in front of a big candle lit cake. Just when a partially toothless Anya blows the fire out, her parents behind her share a knowing smile as the matriarch lovingly places a hand on her belly. Once the room is laid in darkness, they’re taken by surprise when the now (supposed) 7 year old lets out a seemingly delayed cry of joy and fixes them with an incredulous wide eyed look “Already!? The wish came true already??” She turns to her perplexed father and goes “Chichi! How'd you do that so quickly!? Not even Bondman could do thaat!” The vision blurs out with a dumbfounded Loid staring back at her mouth agape.
It’s over as soon as it came and Bond trudges the rest of the way over.
Looking at their daughter now lovingly cradled in his gorgeous wife’s arms and their dog pawing at her legs to cheer her up, he decides Yor’s father was a very wise man.
Maybe talking things out with her didn’t bring him much closer to securing the peace of the world per se but it did manage to grant him something else invaluable - peace of mind.
“Anya doesn’t wanna see peanuts for a while..”
—
P.S.: I don’t think Papa Twilight is dead.