Chapter Text
James stepped into the room, softly closing the door, taking a deep breath as he did. He was suddenly exhausted. He moved and sat beside her on the bed, placing a hand softly on her knee. ‘You okay?’
‘I feel like I’d been hit in the chest with a bludger – maybe the face too.’
James chuckled, hand lightly squeezing her knee before her released her, moving back to sit up against the wall. She followed suit, but sat on the adjacent wall on her pillow. ‘I didn’t think you even knew what a bludger was.’
‘I have seen quidditch before.’
James quirked a brow. They were both light, smiling, trying to ignore the heaviness of the last hour, trying to shake it off with gentle smirks and jests. ‘You hate quidditch.’
‘What would you know? You were always too busy flying around the pitch with your shirt over your head to notice whether or not I was there.’
He smirked, chuckling even, then reasoned, ‘I would have noticed if you were there – I did notice. You weren’t at all the Gryffindor games, but you were at some.’
She scrunched her nose, rolling her eyes. ‘Do you think maybe I was at the games where you were playing my house only? To see my house play?’
‘Nope – I saw you once at a Hufflepuff match,’ he insisted.
‘You did not.’
‘I certainly did. You were wearing a white turtleneck and a black skirt-’
Marina started to laugh in disbelief. ‘What? You remember it that well?’
‘Yes. Because at first I thought you were wearing muggle clothes – I rode past twice to check. You weren’t, it was probably unicorn hair or puffskein or some other poor creature you purebloods like to wear.’
‘Us purebloods? You are one of us, you know. Even if you don’t like it,’ she informed him.
‘The skirt was probably dragon leather or-’
Marina hit him with her pillow, fairly hard he would admit, and told him, ‘Oh that’s enough!’
James was giggling – giggling – like he did when he was playing with Sirius or when Remus was in a good enough mood to be silly. He gripped the pillow for a moment, but then let her take it back and hit him again before she put it down.
‘Are you quite finished?’ Marina asked, watching him let out his last few chuckles.
‘Yes, I am, I apologise,’ he promised with a smirk, looking into her beautiful eyes. His expression softened into a smile. ‘But yes, I did notice. Most times.’
‘Most times,’ she repeated softly, watching him nod in another promise. She felt her cheeks flush and lowered her chin.
‘Can I ask you something?’ he asked, still gazing intensely at her, waiting for her to raise her eyes. She did, and then she waited. He wet his lips. ‘How did you get the paper?’
Marina took a breath. She’d been upset before, when she revealed herself to Sirius. She hadn’t really thought it through. But then, remembering that she trusted him, and he trusted her, she rose her hand. ‘Accio – Persuasion.’
The book flew from the bedside table and into her hand.
James’s jaw went slack for only a second before he swallowed, nodding, rubbing his hands on his thighs. ‘Wandless magic.’
‘Not a lot – just some – just something I was working on.’
‘Why haven’t you got your wand back then?’ James asked. Almost accusingly, but mostly in shock.
‘I – it’s here?’
James’s expression flashed, and then smoothed.
Her heart fluttered. She wanted it. She wanted it so much. Not to do anything – just to feel – just to have it. ‘I thought you might have – well – not you – but-’
‘There is that stuttering again,’ he joked softly.
Marina took a light breath, smiling. ‘I thought it might be gone.’
James shook his head, frowning. ‘Mum picked it up – you had it with you when you got here.’
She blew out a breath of relief. ‘That’s good.’
He licked his lips. ‘Sorry. I know it must be horrible to be without a wand.’
Marina shrugged, playing with a thread on her pyjama shorts. ‘It’s not so bad. It just feels like I’m missing an arm sometimes – which, I almost was, I suppose.’
He looked at her scarred arm with a frown.
‘If I ever get my wand back I’ll be able to glammer it – nothing to look sad about, Potter.’
He smirked. ‘Back to last names, are we? I thought we were beyond that.’
Marina met his eyes, head tilted, a soft smile on her face. ‘We are, James,’ she admitted.
His heart sped up, and James took another heavy breath. ‘Do you want me to stay with you? Tonight?’
‘Only if you want to,’ she told him, stretching her arms above her head, the spell broken. ‘Are you tired?’
‘Yes,’ he confirmed swiftly. ‘I – let me go change.’
She smiled, nodding at him, and while he was gone got herself tucked into the bed, watching the moon out of her window.
James got changed as fast as he possibly could and returned to her, checking before he closed the door that he’d closed his own door and that his parent’s was already shut for the night too. He’d just have to wake up early. It would be fine.
He moved to close the curtains, but she stopped him.
‘I like to see the stars. Now, come on.’
He obeyed, climbing into the bed and tucking himself into the sheet, realising that the bed was far smaller than he realised. ‘I should have transfig-’
Marina’s arms wrapped around him, her face landing against his chest, her legs flush against the side of his. Her feet were cold, even through his plaid pyjama pants.
Having skin against hers, thick arms wrapping around her, hearing a heartbeat beneath her ear, it all soothed her immediately. If he didn’t smell like James, and didn’t feel like him, she might have been able to pretend it was Barty, or Regulus. But it was James Potter, and he did just fine.
She let out a small sigh as his hand landed on her hair, the other on her arm that was flung across his stomach. ‘Thank you.’
James found his fingers moved of their own violation, moving through her hair and dancing on the smooth skin of her arm without much thinking about it at all. He was whispering, he didn’t know why. ‘You’re welcome.’
They were silent for a while, and Marina could feel how insanely tense James’s body was, so much so that she eventually asked, ‘Have you not done this before?’
‘No,’ James answered swiftly, as if glad to be admitting it. ‘No I haven’t. Sorry.’
She chuckled a little, and it felt nice against his ribs where her chest was pressed against him. ‘Do you-’
He squeezed her, hands bringing her in closer. ‘I like it.’
Then, she did something that was truly magical. Marina twisted her head upwards, breathing a laugh out of her nose, the hot air hitting his throat, sending hot blood rushing through his body. Then, her lips pressed against the skin there. Only once, but with pressure.
His breath hitched in his throat, and his toes curled. He didn’t know what might come next-
‘Goodnight, James.’
Relief and devastation.
‘Goodnight, Marina.’
____________________
A gasp.
‘James Potter!’
He lurched up in bed, looking around him in a panic, seeing his mum at the door. ‘What?! What’s happened?!’
Mia looked incredulously at the bed, and he looked down, realising all at once where he was.
He looked around the room. ‘Where-’
‘Marina has helped with breakfast. I came to look for the cat,’ she said fiercely, glancing up and down the hall. ‘The silencing charm is still on this room?’
James, wide eyed and terrified, nodded, watching his mother come into the room and softly close the door. She faced it for a moment, taking a heavy breath before she turned.
She gestured wildly with her hands. ‘What, by the gods, are you doing?!’
‘I’m sorry – I – she was upset, mum. So much happened yesterday. Nothing happened – I mean, a lot happened – but not in the bed. I promise – she asked me to stay!’
Mia clicked at him, pulling away the covers. ‘Get out, get out of the bed. Gods, James.’
‘I’m sorry,’ he repeated once he was on his feet, sighing. ‘I just – I wanted to make her happy.’
Mia sighed, covering her eyes. She was close to tears – and to tearing her hair out.
‘It’s so hard, mum. Having it half way. She’s a prisoner, but she’s not. She’s someone I went to school with – but she’s one of them. It’s all such a blur. And I know you’ve always said that nothing and no-one is all black or all white. But I wish sometimes it was that way, because it would be a whole lot bloody well easier-’
‘Oh, James,’ she soothed, reaching her arms out when she saw the tears in his eyes. There was something strange about the age he was. One minute a man, the next minute a boy. ‘I’m sorry. I know. It’s difficult.’
He breathed a light sigh, swallowing his tears after a few had escaped. He let his mother rock him a while in her arms, holding him tightly as he’d held Marina the night before. Then, in a voice that sounded much like his childhood self, he confessed, ‘I want to keep her, mum.’
Mia’s chin dimpled, her hands reaching his cheeks and bringing his face level with hers. Her nostrils flared. Her eyes burned with flames of the truth. ‘I do too, James.’
He smiled, but it was a sad thing.
‘But it’s not up to us. We can’t wish something into reality. It’s too grey. I’m sorry it is that way.’
He nodded, pulling his mother into his chest, and holding her tightly.
They arrived to breakfast together, finding everyone sat around, a rare morning where everyone was available.
James touched Sirius as he passed him, sending him a fond look, glad his friend seemed returned to normal, then moved to his seat by Marina. ‘Morning.’
‘Good morning,’ she smiled, looking at him over the rim of her mug.
James caught Remus’s eyes across the table, a strange unreadable expression on his face. But then Monty spoke:
‘I think Marina was right earlier - today calls for a game of quidditch. What do you say, boys?’
Remus rolled his eyes. ‘I’ll keep score.’
Sirius was out of his seat in a flash, moving for the back door at the same time Monty rose. But Sirius turned back, moving and placing a gentle kiss on the top of Marina’s head. ‘Thank you, Marina.’
She smiled softly, touching his hand where it had landed on her shoulder, then felt him rush from the room in a flash. She looked to James. ‘Aren’t you running off?’
‘I need to eat,’ he said, building himself a decently filled sausage sandwich. ‘More energy to kick their arses.’
Mia chuckled, but watch the pair across the table as Marina rolled her eyes, teasing him softly back. Remus watched on too, frowning.
‘Come on, Prongs. Eat it on your way over to the field. I’ve got jobs on this afternoon so if you all don’t start now then I’m not scoring.’
‘Yes, and then they will all start fighting,’ Mia told Marina, sending James a warning glance.
He grinned a little sheepishly, then rose, sandwich in hand, knuckles brushing against Marina’s arm as he promised, ‘See you later.’
‘Play nice,’ she told him, smirking when he sent her a wink.
He followed Remus out, asking through his mouthful of bacon and bread, ‘So her and Sirius are okay?’
‘They caught up. Big hugs. All very sweet. SO – I came to your room last night, once he’d gone to sleep. To hear how Marina was.’
He paused at the bottom of the garden, looking to Remus with a fearful expression. James was swiftly chewing, trying to swallow it down to explain himself.
But Remus spoke again, ‘I hope it all works out, mate. The way you want it to. I’m just worried that it won’t.’
James finally swallowed. ‘It’s going to go how it goes. And I’ll go with it.’
Remus observed his friend for a moment. Then nodded. ‘Alright.’
James grinned. ‘Alright.’
Marina watched them from the window, washing her plate the muggle way, then setting it on the side to dry. The golden hue of the morning glowed all around them. Her heart felt heavy, her soul too.
‘We are going out to a friend’s for dinner tonight. Remus will be back before we leave though, Sirius should be here too,’ Mia spoke softly with a yawn, not wanting to startle the girl who sometimes would flinch if she was away in her own world. ‘Good idea sending them out this morning. A quiet morning is what we need.’
Marina smiled, leaning back against the sink. ‘I thought they all deserved a bit of fun.’
Mia smiled back, then finished her tea. ‘I’ll clean this up.’
‘I’m going to check on Wentworth,’ Marina spoke, Mia touching her arm affectionately as they passed by each other.
Marina spotted Wentworth on the living room sofa in a patch of sunlight and gave him a kiss on top of his little head. He purred, rolling onto his back.
‘Lazy boy,’ she murmured, looking around the room as she scratched his stomach. She moved back to the doorway, hearing the clattering of plates in the next room, and raised her hand into the living room, lightly whispering her spell.
She heard a light knock from upstairs, a rattle. She swallowed and headed for the stairs.
Her chest felt tight, like she couldn’t take a proper breath, but she carried on, until she was at the top, facing the hallway of rooms. Four bedrooms, one cupboard, and the bathroom. The bathroom wasn’t worth looking at, nor her room. So she moved to each room, pressing her hand against the doors and whispering, ‘Accio – wand.’
Pressing her ear against Sirius and Remus’s door, she listened but heard nothing the rattling muffled, but still too quiet to be in there.
She licked her lips as she pressed a hand to James’s door, feeling the ward rippling just behind it at the threshold. ‘Accio – wand.’
She looked up at the sound of the rattle, not behind James’s door, but his parents just next to it. She rushed, feeling a magnetic pull in her chest, her hands thrust up against the wood.
‘Accio – wand.’
There it was, the rattling, as clear as she had heard it. Her wand. Her wand.
She heard a creak on the stairs and rushed to the bathroom, closing the door over and opening it, fixing her hair as she stepped back out into the hallway to come face to face with Mia.
‘Sorry,’ she said with a chuckle as Mia jumped in shock.
‘It’s alright, gosh you move as quiet as a mouse some days – did you find Wenty?’
‘He’s being lazy in the living room,’ Marina shared with a grin. She rubbed her lips together. ‘What are you wearing tonight? You said you had a dinner?’
‘Oh, nothing special. Well, I say that. It’s at – well – I can’t really say. I should probably dress up, in honesty. Do something with this hair,’ she said, gesturing to her smooth brown locks.
Marina was honest, chuckling out, ‘Your hair is lovely!’
Mia rolled her eyes. ‘It will be once I get a few charms on it,’ she said, moving towards her bedroom then hesitating. ‘Would you like to help me pick a dress, Marina?’
Marina’s eyes lit up. ‘I would love to!’
Mia grinned and took out her wand, winking at her, ‘We’ll lift the ward here, just for an hour. Just don’t tell Monty.’
‘Or all you’ll hear for the next few days will be, “What would Moody say?”’ Marina joked, watching Mia lift the enchantment, pushing open the door and revealing that there was no longer a rippling effect in the air blocking it. ‘How is Moody?’
Mia finished her laughing at Marina’s joke and sent her a soft smile as they moved into the room. ‘He’s healing well. He’s – well, changed forever I think. But he’s alive.’
‘That’s good,’ Marina spoke, looking around the room. They didn’t have many trinkets, or objects around. Not like some houses she’d been in, with artefacts and curiosities on every shelf. It was a nice plain room, with expensive items but also handmade with love things like blankets and artworks. ‘It’s cosy in here.’
‘It’s my favourite place,’ Mia spoke gently, gesturing to the plush double bed to let her know it was fine for her to take a seat. She watched Marina settle in, then turned to the wardrobe and opened it.
Marina took note of the easy way the door swung open on the old loose hinges.
‘There are two I’m thinking of,’ Mia huffed, fetching out the dresses on their hangers. A slinky black formal dress with a lower cut back and a high cowl neck at the front, and then a deep burgundy long sleeved one that Marina scrunched her nose up at a little. ‘Alright, not this one then.’
Mia was giggling as Marina apologised, hanging it back up in the wardrobe.
‘Can I have a look?’ Marina asked, gesturing inside.
Euphemia nodded, stepping to the side, glancing at her dresses a little self consciously, which was ridiculous, but she couldn’t help it.
Marina slipped off the bed and moved to the wardrobe, filing through the more casual dresses to find one that caught her eye. ‘Oh, this is perfect.’
Euphemia smiled in surprise. ‘You think?’
The navy velvet was passed between them.
‘I mean, I don’t know exactly where you are going, but I would wear this anywhere,’ Marina promised her, and she meant it.
Mia looked at her self in the mirror, holding it against herself. ‘I haven’t worn it in a long time. I may need to let it out a little.’
‘Oh don’t be silly,’ she told her, appearing in the reflection too.
Mia looked at the warm smile on Marina’s face, the excited spark in her eye and said softly, ‘I suppose you will miss all those beautiful dresses?’
Marina nodded, looking a little wistful, but with a spark of determination. ‘I’ll have nice dresses again on day I’m sure, and somewhere to wear them.’
Mia attempted to keep the warm expression on her face, but her heart twanged with worry that those days may never come for a lot of the wizarding world, Marina included. She blinked a few times. ‘Right. Shoes and jewels.’
Marina grinned, watching as Mia approached the vanity table in the corner of the room and took a key from a small trinket box on it, then bending to unlock the top drawer. Marina took three deep breaths.
The drawer slid open.
Mia’s fingertips brushed lightly against the soft velvet of her jewellery box, her heart warm and full, then she heard Marina speak a single command, voice firm and true:
‘Accio – wand.’
The wand rushed from the back of the drawer, faster than Mia could react and close it. The sound of the drawer slamming was the last beside their panting breaths, and the last echoes of Mia’s shriek of a single, ‘No!’
Marina looked from the tip of her pointing wand to the woman it was aimed at. Hunched over her vanity, hands still on the drawer, pressing it still, her body tensed, frozen in disbelief. ‘Lift the wards, Mrs Potter.’
Mia’s frown was harsh, and she squeezed her eyes closed tightly for a moment before she slowly turned, her own wand clutched in her hand but not pointed. She saw the tortured look in the girls eyes, and she filled with pity. ‘Marina-’
‘Lift the wards,’ she ordered, a fire in her eyes that Mia hadn’t seen since her first night there. The fire of survival, and doing anything to.
‘I can’t, Marina. I didn’t set the entry wards – Monty did,’ she spoke clearly, calmy, though her heart was beating rapidly.
Marina felt whole, almost whole, having her wand in her hand. She thrummed with magic. She snapped, 'You just opened the one on this door!'
‘I can let you in any room of this house, but I can’t let you out of it.’
She hated how afraid she sounded, and how brave she was trying to sound. Marina snarled, wanting her to be quiet. But then she remembered.
‘Incendio.’
The Potter’s plush bed went up in flames, Euphemia letting out a shriek of surprise and slamming back against the vanity. ‘Marina!’
Marina shot another at the wardrobe, and all of Mrs Potter’s beautiful dresses. Then she headed for the door, gripping the handle on her way past. ‘You said that if there was danger, the wards would lift!’
Mia turned her wand from putting out the flames on the bed, towards Marina, but the door slammed shut, and a locking charm was cast. ‘Marina!’
‘She has her wand. She has her wand,’ Marina murmured to herself, just above a whisper as she moved through the house, to the room where she had been living. She set it alight – the bed, the curtains, the bookcase. The characters she had read about lit up.
Just as she got to the top of the stairs, she heard the door open to Mia and Monty’s bedroom and leapt two at a time, making it down the stairs and coming face to face with the front door.
If she risked it and the ward hadn’t lifted, she’d be trapped in that section of the hall – no. She’d go through the kitchen. Out the back door. Regulus had been able to bring her to the very bottom of the garden. She knew she could apparate from there. The front was unknown territory.
‘Marina! There is an-’
She ignored Mia’s voice, slamming into the kitchen and towards the back door.
‘No – there is an alarm – Marina – they’ll be here -’
Marina burst out of the back door and hesitated at the sight of Aurors in the bottom field – or some of them were. These people were in the organisation, the resistance. Some in the tell tale robes, others dressed normally. Mia swung out behind her, trying to wrap an arm around her shoulder but Marina flinched away.
‘Marina – don’t-’
She wasn’t cunning, she told herself. She hadn’t been clever. She wasn’t confident. The hat made a mistake. She wasn’t a hat stall because she could have gone into any of them. She was a hat stall because she wasn’t worthy of any of them.
But she was brave enough to lunge forward, pelting it down the garden and towards were the rose bushes were.
Mia cried out a final time, ‘No!’
Marina felt the apparition line pass over her, glanced to where the boys and Fleamont Potter had flown over, close to landing. The other people, drawing nearer. She moved to twist, but in the same moment was hit with something. Hard.
She was on the ground. The rose bushes were all she could see.
There was shouting. Pleading. The smell of burning.
The world was on fire again, as it always had been.