Archive of Our Own ^beta

 He'd never suspected anything was wrong with him truly. But it's been stressful lately and although he doesn't believe there's anything wrong with himself he just wants to make sure and Mori seems like the best option. His fear of doctors has always been present and Mori seems like a better option compared to a random stranger. Plus it's better since he trusts Mori he won't hurt him on purpose. 

Though he is somewhat scared he doesn't want it to be something life-threatening to the point he can't continue work. But he also doesn't want it to be nothing and feel bad because he made such a big deal about it.

Running his fingers through his hair, he keeps himself from banging his head against his desk.  Looking down he scans through the paper most of them being about trade deals or people requesting meetings. There are a few intriguing ones about problems going around Yokohama's red light district.  Some reports about the kidnappings of tourists or extremely rude locals. 

He signed some important meeting forms, he then stacked them in a pile. Pushing them to the side he stands up stretching his back allowing it to make a satisfying pop. Before he turns to his calendar, pinning a reminder for him to give the signed papers to one of the executives for them to figure out. 

Turning he exits his office making sure to lock it behind him. Quickly he swerved through the halls making sure to avoid almost anyone who could see him or question why he was heading towards the boss's office. 

 Knocking quietly before waiting for the signal to be let in. Walking in quietly he stands observing how Mori finishes reading different papers before eventually signing them. On the floor kicking her legs while drawing is Elise. Though he's not a huge fan of her, she doesn't act as creepy toward him as she does other members. 

“Ah, Chuuya, how lovely to see you. I just received your mission report so I wasn’t expecting to see you so soon. Is there anything you need?” Mori questions, finally acknowledging his presence. 

“I just needed to see you because there's something I want your advice on, from a doctor's perspective preferably.” He answers, waiting quietly for Mori to process the question.

“Of course, follow me. I have a small office back here. Elise please wait out here for me to finish up with Chuuya-kun.” Mori stands patting down his coat before swiftly moving towards a door in the back of the room. Following wordlessly he feeds lightly behind the former doctor. 

“Here please have a seat on this bench. I'm just gonna ask you a few questions.” Mori stated pointing a finger at the cushioned bench raised slightly. Moving forward he hopes atop the makeshift examination table. 

“First off you're not pregnant right?” Mori tries to joke though it falls flat, turning around he seems to have noticed Chuuyas confused face. “Sorry Chuuya-kun, I was trying to get you to lighten up. Since you look extremely tense.” Mori apologizes lightly while grabbing a notepad and pen. Before pulling a chair up, and sitting down facing directly at him. 

“So what's wrong Chuuya? Do you want to explain it to me?” Mori asks tentatively, looking at the young boy. He's sure something is going on whether it, is emotional or physical. The boy looks like he lost weight though that might have been intentional. 

“I honestly don't know what's happening, sometimes I'll smell food and it will make me sick. And food will just not feel appetizing and I just don't care to eat it and when I do it tastes spoiled and gross. Even though I shouldn't, I've gotten used to feeling hungry but sometimes it feels like there's a knife being stuck in my stomach. But I'm concerned that my work ability might go downhill because I'm losing so much weight.” Chuuya states looking at his lap almost guiltily. 

“This is nothing too serious that you need to be concerned about. Losing weight won't hurt you at all, I can give you things if you want to keep away the hunger pains though.” He states, reviewing everything he wrote down during Chuuya's explanation. Looking up, he comes face to face with Chuuya. Who looks like he’s drifting off into space with misty-covered eyes. 

“Is there something I’m supposed to see in the mirror? I tried searching it up and that’s what a lot of people were talking about.” Chuuya quietly asks, looking at him, cocking his head slightly. 

“Sometimes that happens, what do you see in the mirror Chuuya-kun?” He asks slightly curious as to how to get into  Chuuyas mind and body. 

“ I don’t know sometimes it’s normal but sometimes it’s complicated, my mind zooming in on all of my worst features. Everything wrong with me is put on display fully for me to criticize.” Chuuya rambles on not seemingly stopping anytime soon.

“Chuuya calm down, it's normal enough for your body to do this to you. I can give you stuff to assist with the hunger pains though. If you would like?” He smirks slightly seeing the confusion and nativity Chuuya has plastered on his face as he nods slowly. Striding over to the cabinet he pulls out a baggy with a small crystal white substance. He pulls out a pack of cigarettes as well, handing both to Chuuya. 

“These should help with the hunger strikes, but Chuuya I want to remind you that it’s not a common thing to avoid talking about it all together around people. Especially try to avoid bringing it up to Kouyou or Hirotsu, it may make it uncomfortable for them to talk or see you.” Turning to stare at Chuuya while he rambles on, he almost laughs seeing the gears seemingly turning in Chuuya’s head. The nativity surrounding him is so intriguing he almost wonders how much he can get away with before Chuuya stops him.

After finally finishing mulling over it, Chuuya responds. “I guess I wouldn’t want that, are you sure they wouldn’t talk to me? I feel like Kouyou would be understanding in this type of situation.” Chuuya finishes turning to look him directly in the eyes. 

“Now that I think about it she wouldn’t stop talking to you completely or maybe not at all. But if there is something I can promise talking to people will cause them to worry. And you don’t want them to worry and panic over you? That would just cause them unnecessary stress over something so unimportant.” He points out, hoping to get it ingrained into Chuuyas head.  The only reaction he gets is a small nod from the small boy. As he turns around to leave the small temporary doctor's office.

“I guess that’s where I can remember it starting, I think it just spiraled from there. I would regularly go to Mori for advice and that advice and the ‘tools’ he gave me just dug my hole deeper. I don’t remember most of it. I was so worried about anyone finding out I prevented any way I could.” Chuuya admits staring at Dazai as his face quickly morphs from one emotion to the next. 

“Chuuya you know that wasn’t good right, what Mori did wasn’t right I need you to understand that.” He pleads, staring at the ginger sitting In front of him. This evokes a confused look from the older boy. 

“Of course, I know it’s wrong, well most of the time. There are still times it feels as though food tastes bland and lifeless making it so I’d rather starve myself than have to deal with the disgusting nothingness food brings me. And even if I know it’s not good, anything that pushes the hunger away feels better than confronting whatever’s going on.” Chuuya shrugs, taking a swig of the water Dazai got him earlier.  He can see tears brimming the sides of the older beautiful sapphire eyes. 

“Chuuya”

 He whispers, coaxing the other into an awkward hug. Stroking his hair as he hears soft hiccups erupting from the smaller. 

“I know okay, I know I should talk if I’m feeling like that but Mori fucked with my head. If I even think of talking it seems to wrap around my brain and then the only thing my brain can cling to is how much of a burden I would be.” He rants between sobs pushing his tear-stained face further into Dazais chest. 

He attempts to try and calm the other down,  rocking them slowly side to side slowly. And rubbing random patterns into the orders back only does so much. Other than that it seems he just has to wait for him to settle down. While he waits it leaves him to his thoughts. 

And even though he wishes he could he can’t reel his thoughts in. Everything going to hell in his mind isn’t helping his predicament. Grasping Chuuya and pulling him as close to his bandaged body is the best he can do to at least calm some of his nerves down. 

His brain seems fixated on the fact that he could’ve lost Chuuya. Everything could’ve consumed him whole and Dazai would have been none the wiser. No one would have a clue what would have consumed their dear petite Mafioso. Mori would know just like Mori has always known, shaping and molding Chuuyas mind making him fear talking to others and escaping his situation. 

He wants to have a chat with Mori, and maybe a little more. Because he can think of many horrible reasons Mori may have wanted to control Chuuya. None of them are good, and none of them are what he could forgive himself if they ever actually happened to Chuuya. 

The rise and fall of Chuuyas chest pulled him out of his thoughts. Looking down he smiles fondly at the beautiful fingers sleeping position. Angry red tear stains sit on his cheeks, and his under eyes have become puffy and pink. Making a huge contrast from his extremely pale skin. 

Caressing the redhead's cheeks and making sure all his tears were wiped away. He carefully pulls his body up, nudging him to the side and laying him down. Being careful he tucks the redhead in, making sure to pull the blankets and comforter up enough to keep him warm. 

Playing with a few strands he keeps himself busy for a few minutes admiring his beautiful partner. He smiles calmly before sitting up and looking at the clock beside the bed. He had just enough time to get ready before heading to see his dear ex-boss. Hopping off the bed he looks to make sure the ginger doesn't stir before heading to do what needs to be done. 

Going into the bathroom he cleans up his appearance. It’s horrifyingly easy to fall back into his old routine, a routine he never thought he’d have to do again. Shedding his clothes he carefully looks over his body again before turning to take a shower. Stepping into the freezing water he shivers, taking a moment to collect his thoughts as he lets the slide down his body. Forcing his body into full concentration, not letting an ounce of control slip away. He had to be deadly focused if he wanted everything to go smoothly. 

Walking out of the bathroom he towels off his hair, trying to strain any leftover moisture out. Before turning around and digging through an old pile of clothes. He swore he really should have gotten rid of them but looking down he doesn’t believe he could. Sighing he straightens up unwrapping his towel as he grabs a much darker pair of clothes similar to his regular outfit yet seeming to have wildly different purposes.

Looking over at a shelf he grabs a dagger, stuffing it in his boot in case of emergencies. Along with grabbing his hollister from the shelf and tightening it around his waist. Before going over and grabbing a gun candy slides it into the hollister. Concealing all the weapons is easy enough; he just untucks his shirt, letting it fall over the deadly weapon. 

Standing up he's only now noticing the lack of bandages over his arms. It had only been him and Chuuya so he’d taken them off earlier to ensure he was comfortable. Now he was regretting that decision since it would take time to re-wrap his bandages, and that was time he simply didn’t have. Although he shuddered at the idea of having to face Mori without a protective layer on. He just had to swallow the bile down, looking over at the small Chibi who would make every effort worth it. 

Stepping out of the closet he cast one last over at Chuuya. All curled up and unaware of what was about to go down. And if Dazai had any say about it the ginger would stay unaware, and hopefully never suspect a thing. 

It was quite sad that even at night the Port Mafia never seemed to rest. Ever so present in the day, they get most everything done then. Though some of the more shadier deals are done under the cover of night. These are mostly the deals with the self-proclaimed good guys of Yokohama.

Everything is easier and faster to get done when it’s done under the blanket of darkness. That’s because any morally sane person would close their eyes as soon as darkness befalls them. 

He steps into his office Elise right on his heels, following close behind. He strolled to the window and watched the reflection of Elise as she skipped to a corner of the room to work on her drawings. Turning he ignores her in favor of looking over the city, smiling viciously as he senses everything falling into place.  

He had already sensed something had been off, so it was no surprise looking at the camera and seeing a traitor climbing up the stairs. Admittedly he could have prepared more but honestly, what’s the fun in that? Walking around the room he pushes himself into his chair. Lounging in his chair, he pretends to be busy with the large piles of paperwork stacked on his desk. 

He probably could force the work onto one of the executives and make them do the paperwork. However, it may be hard since Kouyou and Hirotsu were on a mission in China, trying to make a deal with another organization. Along with the other Executives that were here either couldn’t be trusted with important paperwork. Akutagawa and his lack of responsibility and Ace with his manipulative scheming ways. And his last and favorite Chuuya has been trying to avoid him for the past few months. 

It was truly disappointing thinking that his plan may have fallen out of line. Especially when the strange opportunity arose he may have taken it too quickly. It is frustrating knowing that his hard work for the past four years will be going to waste. It’s not how he imagined things going but if he spun the strings right he may be able to play things in his favor. 

Though he knew his prodigy was cunning, that would be the hardest part. He honestly looked forward to it. He had waited so long for this and now all his hard work would finally pay off. Smiling, he turns to Elise making her disappear for now. He straightens upright as he hears the crunch of his subordinate's heads being bashed against the wall. He was ready to face his greatest prodigy. 

The closer he got to the top the angrier he got, he could somewhat wrap his head around his fear. The nauseating bone-chilling feeling wrapped around his head.  His head is floating in on itself; he doesn't look forward to being in the same room as Mori. But for Chuuya he would do anything for the shorter ginger. 

Looking down he sees the watch he had borrowed just for this night. Reminding himself he focused on what times would be the best to go home. Hopefully, this wouldn't take long and Mori will be easy to deal with but knowing him he probably has something hiding up his sleeve. 

Falling into a rhythm the sound of his feet clanging against the metal staircase reverberates in his head. Making his way up he feels the presence of cameras staring at him. Causing an itching sensation to grow beneath his skin. He wonders what sick plan Mori is or already has formulated just for him personally. His mind is swinging between the need to know and the fear of what may come. 

Hoping up the steps he quickly makes his way towards the top ignoring the anxious pit that seemed to have settled in his throat he stares at the guards. He glares at them as they shift uncomfortably, he does give two shits what they do but at the moment they need to move they are blocking his way. 

“Daz- Sir I'm going to have to ask you to leave. You are a traitor and have no place setting foot inside this office.” One of the grunts states, raising his gun and getting ready to shoot. 

“Is that right?” He asks calmly, giving them a sharp smile before rushing forward. Dodging the rain of bullets is easy; they take rookie shots. It's even easier to sneak up on them, allowing him the chance to crash his elbow into one of their faces. Turning around he sees the others' stunned faces. Going right for the attack he leaves no time to think, kneeling the other guard hard in the stomach. Making the grown adult topple over in pain, kicking his head into the wall to make sure he’s fully unconscious. 

He does a quick once-over of his surroundings, looking at the mess around him. Before spying what he presumes is the guard's gun. Turning he picks it up from the ground, turning it over he checks making sure to empty the chamber. 

Nothing can go wrong, one little thing and everything he’s worked so hard for will disappear. And he can’t won’t let that happen, he’s not ready to lose anything else. 

Stepping into the office he feels a shiver running up his spine. Nausea flows up his throat as he hears Mori speak, “Ah hello Dazai, what a lovely surprise. If I knew I was expecting guests I would’ve cleaned up.” He makes a gesture to what Dazai thinks is supposed to be the mess he’s talking about. 

Though it wasn’t disgusting it wasn’t neat either, a pile of paper strewn on the floor. Looking back up he meets Mori’s piercing purple eyes. “So what do I owe the pleasure of you finally coming to visit me?”

“You know exactly why I’m here Mori.” He snarls out glaring at the other man as he stalks slowly forward slightly. “Now tell me exactly why you have been feeding into my partner's Eating Disorder for years.” He continues stopping about arm's length away from Mori’s desk. Still glaring at his face without letting up.

“I think you know exactly why I did what I did,” Mori stated smiling wickedly as he tilted his head, not seeming to react as the other's glare hardened. “Though you’ve always been a little thick-headed when it comes to Chuuya so it’s not that big of a surprise if you don’t get it right away.” He fishes his speech having an airy sound making the words feel surreal. 

“I have a lot of ideas of what you might’ve done to him. And god help me as soon as I get the clarification from you I’ll make sure you die a painful death.” He admits returning his gaze to Mori’s face, watching as his emotions flash very clearly for a second before quickly being hidden away.

“You made a promise though didn’t you, that’s the whole reason your home, here in the Mafia. It’s because of the silly little wish that was made by that grunt.” Mori suggests, although his words seem to be trying to dig for information from him.

“Do you really think Oda’s last wish would keep me from tearing you apart limb by limb and making sure you died in the most inhumane and monstrous way possible? There’s nothing that will keep me from enacting my (and Chuuya’s) revenge on you.” The flash of surprise and hesitation on Mori’s face is obvious. He underestimated how Dazai took Oda’s word into account. He now knew that Dazai believed as long as he wasn’t the one chopping the person up, he was fulfilling Oda’s wish. 

“So I guess I’ll have to admit to my true intentions, lay out my strategy if you will. Of course, I was worried that a lack of food and nourishment would cause defects that would make Chuuya worthless. But looking back at old records and from first-hand accounts from former sheep members Chuuya would often starve himself so they could eat. But looking again at records we could see he was still a perfectly skilled opponent.”Mori banked on only pausing for a few seconds to make sure Dazai was listening.  Thx y

“After running some tests I found Arahbaki scraped up enough nutrients to keep Chuuya at a alive weight while not eating a thing.”  Mori tries to continue but is cut off by Dazai as he slams his fist on the desk. 

“This isn’t a reason as to why you did it, this is just a daydream that your sick mind made up to justify keeping Chuuya sick.” He spat out, crossing his arms as he leaned away from Mori. 

“As I was saying before, you rudely interrupted me. Once I did the test I encouraged the eating disorder. I gave him whatever was necessary to help grow it, and over time he relied on me more and more heavily. I was able to keep him away from spilling to anyone, and he was doing a fantastic job until you came along.” He scoffs as the other just looks at him sourly. Before raising an eyebrow, and bobbing his head lightly Mori continues.

“When I first found out where you are and that he’d probably be able to contact you I tried to lessen his intake of drugs and Cigarettes to avoid eating. Of course, this had effects on his body, and none that I could easily explain. So I kept supplying him-.” Mori explains before being cut off again by the unimpressed-looking brunette.

“I still don’t understand why you fed into it, it made him weaker and I don’t know why-“ He rants before coming to a halt. Whipping around to stare at Mori, before breaking out into a fit of laughter. “Oh, how did I not get that, you truly are pathetic you know that Mori. Chuuyas loyal to a fault, yet you still had to use underhanded methods to make sure he was tied to you! What was everything you did to force him to join not enough for you? You just had to get him fully reliant on you didn’t you.” Dazai snarls out viciously smiling as Mori slinks back a little, his confidence fading. 

“Of course, you figured it out, you aren’t my protege for nothing. So now that you know, what do you want from me?” Mori asks, trying to gain the upper hand in the imaginary fight between them. 

“I want you to leave us alone, you will only be a boss, no more prescriptions or advice. You will leave Chuuya the hell alone, and if I find out that you’ve fallen back into your old ways. I’ll slit your throat with a scalpel, the same way you did with the former boss.” Dazai stated grinning wickedly as he stared at Mori, who quickly realized that his scalpel was in the younger man's hand. Despite the fact he never got close enough to swipe it from his person. 

Nodding as he gives the other a forced smile before uttering of course under his breath. And sighs as he releases all the pent-up tension in his body before getting back to work. Cursing as he thinks about his plan that has been completely flipped upside down by his former subordinate. 

Making his way out of the god-forsaken building was easy. And he shuddered remembering every second of his visit there. Stopping in an alley he lets himself breathe, and his hand itches for a cigarette. Not wanting Chuuya to smell that on him, he resists cracking his knuckles and heading back to the apartment. 

Waking up he feels how puffy his eyes are, reaching up he can feel the dried tears on his face. He tries to recall what may have caused it but everything from this evening is blurry. Reaching around he tries to see if Dazai is in bed with him. To his surprise, the younger man is nowhere to be found instead leaving behind a cold area where he once was. 

Throwing his legs over the bed he hurriedly tries to stand up. However, he has to pause as black mist seems to enclose his vision. Leaning against a nearby wall, he waits to be able to fully see as well as his limbs to stop shaking. 

Pushing himself away he heads out the bedroom door wondering if the other man just left for water or a small snack. Fumbling his way through the halls he finally makes it to the kitchen. Squinting into the distance as he tries to make out any possible figures. Giving up he just calls out the brunette man’s name. “Dazai” he tries, but is met with deafening silence. Giving up he scrambled to find the light switch and flick it on.

Just as light floods into the apartment,  the entrance door quietly opens. Surprised, he sees  Dazai trudging through the opening slowly, before turning around and shutting the door as quietly as possible. “Dazai?” He questions loud enough to be heard, making the other jump slightly. 

“Damn, you scared me Chuuya,” Dazai mutters as he drops everything that he was holding onto the counter. Before stalking over and hugging Chuuya, who melts into his touch. 

“What happened, why did you leave?” He questions looking up at the taller who just sighs dramatically. Digging his head further into the ginger's neck. 

“Can we not, I’m sorry I just went to chat with an old friend. I promise I’m better now, I just don’t really wanna talk about it.” Dazai whispered, grabbing the other hand as he spoke. 

“Yeah okay wanna head back to bed, it is late if you didn’t notice.” He reminds the other with a small smile playing on his face. He watches for a few minutes until the other nods. Dragging the brunette into their room he shoved him into the closet letting him get changed into loungewear. 

He turns around heading back into the kitchen to make himself busy as he waits for Dazai to get ready. Going over to the entrance he puts away the things Dazai left on the counter. Before heading over to turn the lights off, grinning he heads back to the bedroom. 

“You done? I’m coming in.” He states walking into the room, looking around he finds Dazai sitting in the bed. Smiling he heads over, shutting off the lights as he walks. Flopping onto the other side of the bed, he looks up at Dazai. 

“Ready to sleep?” Dazai questions looking over at him quietly as he lays down. “And we still have things to talk about, I’m not going to let you off that easily.” He states pulling the duvet up as the both of them slide under.

“Nope, no can do I don't know what you're talking about!” He cheerily states curling into himself as he closes his eyes pretending to be asleep. 

“I'll never let anyone hurt you again, you have my word Chuuya.”