Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Sadness is normal.”

”It’s okay to cry,” the motivational posters would say. “Emotions are what makes us human.”

It was early May. The month of Vinnie’s birthday, and also Mental Health Awareness month. Which explains why Skipp saw people wearing pins with green ribbons on them or that one poster with a cat hanging from a tree branch.

May was always that weird month stuck between spring and summer, like a transition phase. Sometimes it would rain all day, and sometimes it’d be hot and muggy. It never seemed to stabilize, it was one extreme or a other, like puberty in a way.

But, this isn’t really related to the topic..

Skipp always saw people preaching about how crying shouldn’t be considered a weakness. Like he said at the start, people said that sadness was.. normal?

But, for Skipp, it’s been a long time since sadness has been considered “normal” for him.

Ever since he took up the role of being the ray of sunshine, the beaming light of hope, the mediator.. he hasn’t felt sad. Or maybe, he just hasn’t allowed himself to be sad.

To clarify, by “being sad” he means crying. He hasn’t cried in a long, long, time. That’s a good thing though, right? Crying is embarrassing, and messy. Not to mention it can make others sad. 

And since all Skipp wants is to make others happy.. crying might be a fate worse than death.

Though, despite him saying all this, there has been some times where he wished he could cry. But alas, his tear ducts stayed dry and the corners of his lips never drooped. His smile stayed persistent, and he’d just use some excuse. But no matter what, it’d always chalk up to..

”I’m fine.”

But hearing the people’s words about emotions making people human.. if Skipp can’t cry, then does that make him.. not human?

He doesn’t want to believe it. He doesn’t fit the part. He has fleshy skin, real blood, and he can feel other emotions.. he has to be human still. It doesn’t matter if he can’t cry, right?

..Even so, just for his own comfort, he needs to know if he can.

People cry from sad things, so he just has to make himself sad enough so that he’ll be able to sob openly like he’s always desired.

Making others sad can be as easy as dropping a glass, so it has to be the same for himself, right?

And so, Operation: Tears has begun.

Chapter Text

Rainy days were the absolute worst.

They were cold and uncomfortable. Skipp hated when his clothes got wet and the damp fabric would stick to his skin. He couldn’t do anything about it since these were the only clothes that he had, and he had to just wait it out till they dried off.

Not to mention staying out in the rain can get you sick, and for Skipp, Stone, and Vinnie, there wasn’t any other option since they didn’t have any type of shelter, just an alleyway.

Skipp remembers Stone got sick once from that, and Skipp banned him from cigarettes or alcohol the entire time he was sick.

Safe to say, Stone was not happy about that, but it was for the best.

Anyways, not many people were out on rainy days, so that usually meant that the trio had to rely on snatching stuff from stores or dumpster diving.

It was early though and they had just woken up so they hadn’t gone out to do that yet.

Skipp felt the rain fall to the ground and dribble down into the drain.

It was sort of therapeutic, the sound of the rain drops hitting the floor.

Speaking of the drain, Skipp had seen many people lose their keys or coins from dropping it down into there. It’s annoying, and Skipp is honestly surprised himself that he hasn’t dropped anything down there, considering his clumsiness.

Then again, even if he did, it’s such a minor thing compared to his other problems that he probably wouldn’t get upset about it.

He held his hand out, feeling the water droplets fall onto his fingertips. Then, he took his wet hand and held it up to his cheek, letting the cold water touch the flesh.

The water dribbled down his cheek, to his chin, and then to his jacket, leaving a barely noticeable stain on it.

Is this how it felt to cry?

He tried to forget the bad parts in his childhood when he was upset, to the point where he doesn’t remember much of it unless triggered.

He never thought that he’d long to cry again.

”Skipp!”

Skipp’s thoughts were cut off by a feminine voice. It was Vinnie, of course. There was only one girl in the trio anyways.

”Did you not hear me?” Vinnie said, causing Skipp to look back at her. “I said that we should probably go out and try to get some food from one of the nearby gas stations. It’s pretty early, so maybe the cashiers will be too tired to recognize us stealing anything.”

Skipp nodded, pushing himself up off his feet. “Okay then.”

He looked down at his jacket. That water stain had already faded, leaving no sign that his own mental anguish happened.

Skipp smiled.

He’d prefer to have it that way anyways.

Chapter Text

The bed was cold.

Skipp awoke from his rest, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

He pushed the stray strands of ginger hair out of his face, looking at his surroundings.

Skipp saw Vinnie sitting back against a wall, eating a can of beans.

But strangely, Stone wasn’t there.

Vinnie noticed that Skipp was awake. “Morning sleepyhead.”

”Morning, Vin.” Skipp said, sitting up and looking over at Vinnie. “Where’s Stone?”

”He went out to that field over there.” Vinnie said, pointing to it.

Skipp looked over there for a minute, before standing up.

”I’m gonna go find him. Y’know, just to make sure he’s okay..”

Vinnie gave Skipp a look that he couldn’t tell what it meant. “Sure.”

Skipp didn’t dwell on her odd statement, walking over to the grassy area where Vinnie had pointed to.

Skipp found Stone sitting in the field, smoking a pack of cigarettes.

Typical.

He came up beside him, and sat down next to him.

”Hey Stone.”

Stone flinched, almost spitting his cigarette out. “Jesus, Skipp, you scared me-“

”Sorry!” Skipp laughed nervously, scratching the back of his head. “You just weren’t there when I woke up and I got worried.”

”Well, you’re here now.” Stone said, looking back forward.

It was silent for a while.

It was kind of awkward, but also kind of peaceful. Talking could be too much sometimes.

”Skipp?”

Skipp perked up, looking over at Stone. “Yeah?”

”Do you want one?” Stone gestured to the pack of cigarettes in his hand.

Skipp was hesitant.

Normally, he’d say no, he didn’t smoke a lot.

But, with everything that’s been happening lately..

Ah, fuck it.

“Sure.”

Stone nodded, throwing his finished cigarette onto the floor, stomping on it. He then looked down into his pack. His eyebrows raised.

”Ah, shit. There’s only one left.”

”Oh, that’s okay then.” Skipp smiled, not wanting Stone to feel bad about it.

Stone paused, before taking out the cigarette. “Here. We’ll just share.”

”Huh?” Before Skipp could register Stone’s words, Stone already had the cigarette in his mouth and lit it. He put his hand on Skipp’s cheek, bringing him closer.

Stone inhales the smoke, before putting the cigarette to the side and blowing the smoke into Skipp’s mouth.

The smoke always burned a little, but it wasn’t painful. Or maybe it was because Skipp was more focused on how close their lips were.

”That okay?” Stone asks. Skipp nods hesitantly.

”Yeah, it’s good. I think I’m okay for now though.” Skipp said, pulling away before he let himself get any ideas. He tried to ignore how Stone looked a little disappointed at that.

”Alright then, more for me.” Stone shrugged. “Do you want to go back to Vinnie now?”

Skipp laughs. “You know me so well. I just don’t want anything to happen to her while I’m gone.”

Stone hums, standing up and offering a hand to Skipp. “Let’s go then.”

Skipp hesitantly grabs Stone’s hand, standing back up with his added assistance.

Stone didn’t let go of his hand till they got back to the alleyway.

Chapter Text

It seemed like everyday they were always running from the law.

Stone, Skipp, and Vinnie weren’t always as stealthy as they could be, resulting in getting caught and having to choose between fight or flight. Normally, it was flight, because even if they took the person who caught them down, they’d call for the police.

And they sure as hell don’t want to give Tre the pleasure of catching them.

This time, they tried to pickpocket a male Lootbag since he was too busy talking to some other privileged people, but unfortunately, they were caught in the act by one of the people the guy was talking to.

So yet again, they were running away, making a bee-line for the slum alleyways because they knew those Lootbags would rather kill themselves than step foot in that “poor” area.

Call them cowards, but at least they’re living cowards.

Skipp was running away from the 3 Lootbags that had chased after him and his friends. The Lootbags in question where the man they attempted to steal from and two other women. He looked back at him to see how far away they were.

Well, they were at least a tiny bit further away.. though it wasn’t saying much.

He looked back, and-

Wait.

Where the hell did Stone and Vinnie go?

They must have turned into an alleyway right? So Skipp just has to-

Skipp’s thoughts were cut off as suddenly he was kicked down onto the ground by the man. He looked up at him in panic, and the man just looked at him with no remorse.

”Did your friends leave you? How sad.” The Lootbag says, his voice dripping with venom.

The two woman didn’t say anything, just laughed at Skipp’s misery.

”No one’s coming to save you.” The man cracks his knuckles, looming above Skipp in a way that made Skipp’s stomach crawl. “So how about I teach you a lesson..”

Skipp’s eyes widen as he felt the man suddenly squeeze his thigh.

He was paralyzed in fear before, but after that asshole did that, he regained his will to move.

He grabbed his mandolin,

-and swung it as hard as he could across the man’s face.

He closed his eyes when he did it, but he could hear the thud of the man’s body likely falling on the floor, the woman’s screams, and the clacking of heels that slowly faded away, all in that order.

Skipp slowly opened his eyes..

Red.

All he saw was red.

He had clearly broken the man’s nose, and he was unconscious. Skipp wasn’t sure if he had just been knocked out or if he was dead.

Skipp hopes it’s the latter.

Looking down at his hands, he sees that his mandolin had a big crack in the middle.

Something inside Skipp hurts a little.

That was the only mandolin he’d ever had.

He bought it with some of the leftover money he had when he was still living in his parent’s house, it’ll probably take a while for him to save up enough to get a new one.

Not to mention the memories..

He’d played so many songs for his friends on that mandolin. From lullaby’s to cheery music, whatever his friends wanted or needed. The callouses on his fingertips showed it.

But now, all of those memories are gone. Smashed to bits.

All because he tried to pickpocket a guy.

He can still feel the man’s hand on his thigh.

”SKIPP! Shit, where is he!?”

”Fuck, we should’ve made sure he was still following us..”

Skipp hears the distressed noises of Stone and Vinnie in the distance, searching for him.

Well, at least that pervert was wrong.

Gathering his strength, Skipp yells, “I’m over here, guys!”

Skipp can hear the rushing footsteps, until they turn the corner and see him face to face.

Yeah, seeing your friend in a pool of blood with a broken mandolin by his side and sitting next to a unconscious man isn’t exactly the best sight.

”…What the actual hell happened?” Vinnie says, bewildered.

Stone blinks, processing the sight before sighing, “Well, at least we won’t have to worry about him anymore.”

“I don’t know if he’s dead though.”

”He looks dead.”

”Guys, is this the best time for bickering?” Vinnie sighs. “Skipp, are you okay?”

”I’m okay. He didn’t hurt me.” Skipp says. “Well, at least, I knocked him out before he could.”

It wasn’t a lie, but it also wasn’t the truth. He didn’t physically hurt him, but him trying to sexually assault him did mentally hurt him. But Stone and Vinnie don’t have to know that part.

”Thats good..” Vinnie sighs with relief.

Stone looks down at the mandolin, looking surprised. “Skipp.. your mandolin, it’s broken.”

Skipp sighs, scratching the back of his head, pretending it didn’t hurt him as much as it did. “Yeah, I know. Bummer, huh?”

Vinnie gasps. “That’s more than a bummer Skipp! Aren’t you upset?”

”I guess a little bit, but.. it’s fine.” Skipp shakes his head, more so saying that to prove it to himself rather than to his friends.

”I’m really sorry.” Stone says, looking at Skipp for longer than Skipp is comfortable with.

”It’s fine.” Skipp repeats for probably the fiftieth time. “I just..” He looks down at the unconscious man.

”I want to go home now.”

Chapter Text

It was May 25th.

Vinnie’s birthday.

Stone hates getting up early, but Skipp forced him to get up anyways so they could go out and get something for Vinnie before she wakes up. Because that’s what a good friend does!

So, Skipp and Stone went out and managed to stealthily snatch some of the food from the Lootbag’s grocery bags. Normally they’d just go in and steal some themselves but the store knows them now and won’t even let them in the store.

They could sneak in, but they didn’t have enough time for that, considering they were on a time crunch till Vinnie wakes up.

They managed to get the beans because that’s what most people in Ramshackle ate since they were long lasting and advertised 24/7. As per their motto,

”Get them tonight, or you’ll starve!”

And nobody wanted to starve.

They did find some baking supplies, but the last time they tried baking it went horribly wrong and they almost caught the entire alleyway on fire. 

Anyways, they got the beans and formed them into a lumpy cake-like state. It wasn’t exactly aesthetically-pleasing but aesthetics didn’t matter when it came to surviving.

Now, all they had to do was wait for Vinnie to wake up.

Skipp could tell Stone was getting bored, based off the fact he was tapping his foot and smoking a cigarette. And also the look in his eyes. Stone’s eyes were very pretty.

Wait, what did he just say?

Skipp’s thoughts were cut off when he heard the familiar sound of Vinnie’s sleepy groans. Smiling and looking down at the half-asleep Vinnie, Skipp said,

”Good morning, Vin!”

”Morning, Skipp.. why are you guys up this early?” Vinnie said, rubbing her eyes and sitting up.

Stone threw out his cigarette. He pushed the plate with the bean cake towards Vinnie. “It’s your birthday. So we made this.”

Skipp nodded, looking over at Vinnie to observe her reaction. “Mhm! Happy birthday!”

”Woah, it’s.. hickory smoked beans!!” Skipp could hear Vinnie’s stomach rumbling. “This is the best, thanks guys!”

”No problem!” Skipp hummed. “Are you gonna make a wish? We don’t have candles, which is probably for the best, but I’m sure it’ll still work.”

”Isn’t that a thing you only do when you’re a kid?” Vinnie asks, but concedes nonetheless. “But okay I guess.”

Vinnie closes her eyes for a moment, going silent.

She opens her eyes again after a minute.

”What’d you wish for?” Stone asks. Skipp elbows him in the shoulder.

”Hey, you can’t ask that, it ruins the magic!”

”Nah, it’s probably fine.” Vinnie shakes her head, looking up at the sky.

”I wished.. that we’ll always be together.”

Skipp can see the small water droplets fall from Vinnie’s eyes to her cheek. She’s crying, but she doesn’t seem sad? She’s smiling, in fact.

Is she like Skipp, where she smiles when she’s truly crying inside?

But still, at least she has the release of crying.

..What’s this heavy feeling in his chest?

Is he..

..jealous?

”..Ugh, I hate all this sentimental mushy stuff.” Vinnie laughs, cutting off Skipp’s thoughts as she wipes the tears from her cheeks, looking down at the bean cake.

”Let’s dig in.”

Chapter Text

Vinnie and Stone went out to do one of their schemes or something like that, leaving Skipp all alone.

He thought he might as well make himself useful and look for food.

So there he was, bent over a trash can and arms deep in whatever the fuck was in there.

It had become normal at this point though.

Just the normal shit in there though, like fish bones, candy wrappers, skulls, syringes, banana peels.. you know, stuff you’d find in the trash.

Once in a while you’d get the rare gem of something actually edible since Lootbags threw good food away all the time.. but that was very rare. And you were competing against many other Scraps searching for that kinda stuff.

Though, Skipp felt something in the trash unfamiliar, so he yanked it out.

When he looked down at his hand, laid in his palm was a half-filled pill bottle.

”Why would someone throw away a pill bottle that isn’t empty?..” Skipp mumbled to himself, looking at the translucent orange bottle in his hand.

He looked at the sticker on it, but all the text was scratched out with a black marker.

Skipp knew curiosity killed the cat, but he didn’t think it was that dangerous, so he opened the bottle. (Which took an embarrassing amount of time because of the stupid childproof cap. [hehe heathers])

Looking down the bottle, all he saw were white pill tablets. Pretty standard. Skipp didn’t know what he was expecting.

He looks at it for too long.

The amount of pills in there, if taken all at once, could kill somebody, regardless of what type of medication it was.

Skipp thought that death would be scary.

In his childhood, he’d sometimes peek out of his room and secretly watch his father watch some movies. Whenever people died in them, they were always scared and crying.

Skipp wasn’t scared, nor did he feel any tears rolling down his cheek when he looked down at the face of death.

He could do it.

But for some reason, now doesn’t feel like the right time.

He closes the bottle, and instead of throwing it into the trash, he gets up and walks over to the nearby river.

He throws the pill bottle into the river, and watches as it floats above the water and slowly gets carried away by the current.

Flowing away, where it couldn’t hurt anyone in Ramshackle, where it couldn’t hurt any of his friends.

Where it couldn’t hurt him.

Chapter Text

After the whole pill bottle incident, Skipp just relaxed in the alleyway and waited for Stone and Vinnie to get back.

Finally, they did.

”Hey Skipp!” Vinnie greeted, while Stone trudged behind her, waving at him silently.

“Hey!” Skipp smiled at her. “So, how’d the scheme go?”

”Oh right!” Vinnie’s grin transformed into a smirk. “It went great.. but now that you bring it up, I forgot my sword back there. I need to go grab it before some other Scrap tries to steal it.”

”Oh yeah, that’d be bad!” Skipp was about to say goodbye to Vinnie, but she had already ran off.

Now Stone was just standing in front of him.

It was awkward, to say the least. Stone kept his gaze fixed on the floor, and Skipp didn’t know if he should ask.

”..Um, me and Vinnie didn’t actually do any schemes.” Stone says, scratching the back of his neck.

”What?” Skipp frowned, a little hurt. “You guys lied to me?”

”No!-“ Stone panics, his cheeks flushed. “Well- I mean, yes, but also no- it’s not as bad as it sounds, okay!?”

”…Alright.” Skipp says hesitantly. “Speak.”

”..Um, I just.. needed to speak with Vinnie about something alone… I needed advice.” Stone says.

”You could’ve asked me.” Skipp tilts his head, confused.

”Well, this was special okay! But um… I won’t keep you in the dark about it.” Stone’s green eyes turn to meet Skipp’s blue ones.

”Okay. Then tell me.” Skipp says in a soft voice. He could tell this was serious.

”Yeah, um.. okay, cool, yeah..” Stone takes a deep breath, his cheeks are really red. Skipp frowns.

”Stone, your cheeks are on fire. Are you sick? Do you need-“

”Ikindofsortofhaveacrushonyou!!”

…

What?

”S-sorry, what did you say?” Skipp laughs nervously. “You just said it so quickly, I-I think I might have misunderstood..”

”I like you.” Stone repeats himself with more conviction this time. “I just- think you’re really pretty and sweet… I wanna be you, but at the same time I wanna be with you.”

”I- um-“ Skipp flounders, looking at his feet just as Stone did before. The tables had turned. “Are you sure? I mean- I think you’re pretty too and amazing and it’s upsetting to me that you don’t realize that sometimes. But- are you sure you want to be with… me?”

Stone looks confused. “Why wouldn’t I?”

”I just-“

”You’re really amazing Skipp.” Stone puts a hand on Skipp’s shoulder. It’s not like Skipp hates physical contact, it’s just, Stone gives it out so rarely that it feels weird.

“Don’t you know that?”

”…”

”I- I have to go!” Skipp tears away from Stone and runs, just runs straight and away, not going in any specific direction.

He runs, and runs, and runs..

Runs even when he hears Stone calling out to him.

He’s too focused on getting away from everything..

..to notice the sudden wetness in his eyes.

Chapter Text

Skipp had a problem. And it was entirely his fault.

After he panicked and ran away from Stone’s confession, Stone has been avoiding him like the plague.

And understandably so, Skipp would do the same thing in his shoes.

It’s just.. Skipp did feel the same way. He was just so surprised that Stone would actually be interested in him, and, well.. he panicked and ran away.

He’s a terrible person.

But Skipp refuses to let himself drown in his self-pity and let Stone think that Skipp didn’t love him. So, he had to be a man and do something.

Skipp remembers the wetness on his cheeks. He could cry.

Thinking about it now, that whole plan was stupid. Putting himself in situations to try and make himself cry wouldn’t work because it had to come naturally.

And even if he couldn’t cry, that certainly wasn’t the most important thing.

The most important thing was his friends, who cared about him and worried for him.

He’s really sorry.

It was nighttime. 

In an ideal world, Skipp would’ve done this earlier in the morning, but he didn’t find any time during the day that felt appropriate for him to bring it up.

But this world is fucked up and full of lies, so he waited till nighttime.

Stone was a night owl anyway. Skipp? Not so much. But he needed to tough it out and stay awake to say something.

Stone was smoking a cigarette, leaning against a wall. Like he always did.

Vinnie was dead asleep, having fallen straight into slumber the moment her head had hit the pillow.

Skipp pushed down his anxious thoughts, and sucked in a breath and spoke up.

”..Hey, Stone.”

Stone flinched, and looked at Skipp hesitantly. “..Yes?”

This was really awkward. Itching the back of his neck, Skipp continued. “..I wanted to apologize about running away from.. y’know.. I owe you an explanation.”

Stone sighed, waving his hand dismissively. “Skipp, you don’t hafta apologize for that-“

”-No, I want to!” Skipp interjected, crawling forward and getting up close in Stone’s face, the red tint on their face matching each others,

”It’s just.. I couldn’t believe that you could like me, and I panicked.” Skipp said, backing up a little. “I never had prepared myself for that moment, and it was like my brain was running at 100 miles per second. I wanted to get away from that feeling, so I did the only thing I thought of.. which was to remove myself from it entirely.”

”I get that it was shitty for me to run away from you like that without providing you an answer,” Skipp mumbles, fiddling with his thumbs. “I really am sorry. I understand why you’ve been avoiding me. I shouldn’t have done that, I know my answer very well, I do love you, I just-“

”Wait.” Stone cut off Skipp’s rambling. “You do love me?”

Skipp looked up at Stone, the red on his cheeks deepening. “Well yes, of course, but I-“

Skipp didn’t get the chance to say anything else, being cut off by Stone’s lips.

It was short and sweet, Skipp didn’t even get the time to register he had been kissed before Stone had pulled back with one of his rare smiles.

”..Then that’s all I need to know.”

Skipp’s shocked expression transformed to a soft smile. He felt his eyes get wet again like the last time.

”..Yeah. I think that’s enough for me too.”