Chapter Text
3:21 PM
“What I’m deathly afraid is losing you.”
“It would be irresponsible if I were to say you won’t. I have no idea what the future holds, but I do believe I will not voluntarily leave you.”
“What if I’m the one who leaves you?”
“Are you?”
“I don’t want to.”
She pushes off him and sits up. “What’s going on? What are you not telling me?”
He shakes his head. “Nothing. It’s nothing.” He tries to pull her back into his arms.
She grabs his hands and holds on to them. “Fox William Mulder, you need to tell me.”
“There’s nothing to tell –“
“I don’t believe you.”
“Edy was scared and mad that Steve was going to leave him, so his response was to be violent. But if you were to leave me, I guess I would try to leave you first. It’s immature, I know, but I can’t face the prospect of losing you again.”
“The classic, I’ll drive her away so that she’ll leave and I won’t have to break up with her move?”
He hangs his head, “I guess.”
“Mulder… If you want me to go –“
“That’s just it. I don’t ever want you to go.”
“You’re not making any sense.”
“I know. I’m drained. I can’t think clearly.”
“Are you feeling ok?”
“I’m fine. The shitty pasta is kicking in and I just want to close my eyes for a bit. Can we just rest of a minute?”
She doesn’t want to drop the topic, but he does look tired. “Sure. Ok.”
He pulls her down next to him. She snuggles into his side.
“I just need a few minutes.”
She presses her lips to his. “Just rest. I’ll be here.”
3:24PM
4:02PM
Her eyes pop open. She’s alone in the bed. Sitting up, the clock tells her it’s just after 4 o’clock. She didn’t mean to fall asleep.
Scully climbs out of bed and makes her way into his living room, “Mulder?”
She finds him sitting on the sofa, bent over, elbows on his knees, head in his hands.
“Mulder?” a bit louder this time.
She approaches, gently, as to not startle him, places her hand on his top his head. She notices a bottle of Advil and a glass of water.
“Mulder, are you ok?”
His torso shutters as he takes a breath, his hands fall to his sides on the sofa.
Her hand slides down the side of his face to his chin. She tilts his head up. His eyes are full of tears that have yet to fall.
She immediately crouches down beside him. “Mulder, what’s wrong?” She looks back at the Advil. “Are you in pain?”
He closes his eyes. The tears escape and run down his cheeks while he shakes his head no.
“Then tell me what’s wrong so I can help.”
Mulder quickly pulls her on top of him so that she’s straddling him on the sofa.
“Wha –“
He crushes her to him and sobs into her shoulder.
Scared, she wraps her arms tightly around him and rocks him while he cries. She whispers that it’s going to be ok. Even though she has no idea what has upset him so.
She peppers his head with kisses until he finally settles. He leans back to look at her. She wipes the tears from his face with her thumbs.
“Mulder you have to tell me what’s wrong.”
“I…”
“What?” She braces herself for gut wrenching news.
“I… I just want us to be happy.”
This was not what she was expecting.
He continues, “We’ve been through so much. More than any person should. And I feel like it’s all my fault –“
She opens her mouth to protest, but he shakes his head. She closes her mouth.
“I want us to be together and just be fucking happy. Is that too much to ask?”
She shakes her head, “No. But, Mulder –“
“No buts, Scully. We deserve it. Life is too short and I should be able to hold your god damn hand in public.”
Nodding vigorously, she tells him, “You can.” If it will make him feel better. She’ll agree to anything right now.
“334 days, Scully.”
“Till what?”
“That’s how long we’ve been…” he tills his head back and forth.
“Shagging?” she teases.
He smiles. She loves it.
“I was gonna say making the beast with two backs,” he jokes back.
“Not hide the sausage?”
“Never. Maybe the no pants dance, but a couple of times mine have been around my ankles.”
They both share a quiet chuckle until he leans his forehead against hers.
“Like that. I want us to flirt more and laugh more. When I first met you, you laughed all the time. And I get it, there’s not too much to laugh about these days. But I want us to try. I just want us to be happy.”
“That’s why you are so upset? Cause you think we aren’t happy enough? I don’t laugh enough?”
He takes a deep breath, “I bought land. In a small town near here. I wanted to give you that baby. I want you to be a mother.”
She gasps.
“I wanted to, I don’t know, surprise you. It sounds insane, but I wanted to be with you. Raise a family there, have a dog and a cat. Maybe some chickens. Just be happy.”
Now she’s one with tears running down her cheeks.
“But instead, we are just like you said, our life is standing still. I want us to break the cycle. And just move forward, together.”
“They may use it against us.”
“They already do.”
He presses his mouth to hers.
“I love you. And you love me.”
She nods.
“So let’s be in love. Cause who knows how much time we have left. Ok?”
She smiles. “Ok.”
"My dearest Dana."
He leans forward and slowly kisses her with a passion that swells her heart.
4:28PM