Chapter Text
The stinging, acrid smell she had come to associate with red lyrium burned her nostrils, and the scent of blood soaking into the mud of the river bank curdled her stomach. Renna breathed heavily, trying not to be sick.
“Stay sharp!” she ordered.
The Inquisitor’s company had long since passed through, and the waves of enemies were beginning to slow. They had a moment to catch their breath now as she scanned the trees for movement. To her left, Jamison plunged his sword into the throat of a red templar still squirming on the ground despite the gaping wound in his chest.
She looked upstream to where she could see Cullen and his soldiers. They were all still standing, thank the Creators. She recognized a middle aged human in his company as one of the first rebel mages who had volunteered for the army. Cullen clapped him on the back encouragingly. She couldn’t hear what he said to the mage from here, but she would bet it had something to do with the pile of smoking corpses at his feet.
She quickly looked over each of her own soldiers again to ensure no one was injured or panicking. One of her templars had nearly lost an eye in the last skirmish. She likely would have been killed, but Renna had flung a boulder into her attacker and quickly stopped the bleeding. It wouldn’t scar too badly, but she doubted the woman would be able to see out of that eye again. She had been understandably shaken in the moment, but to her credit she now appeared undaunted.
“Dragon!”
Adrenaline shot through her veins as Renna whipped around to see the enormous bat-like monster emerge fully from the forest canopy. The beating of its great wings was so powerful she could feel the air pressure pulsating from here. She readied a shield spell, but the creature flew in the opposite direction, toward the Temple of Mythal, toward the Inquisitor. Her heart was pounding in her throat.
When word finally came of the enemy’s retreat it was clear that the battle for the temple had been decided, one way or the other. To everyone’s relief, all of the Inquisitor’s party came back alive with a bloodied and bound Samson in tow. Max asked her to attend the debrief in the command tent, and after hearing what they had found inside she understood why. Her head was spinning from the revelations about her people’s history. She had no idea how to feel, let alone what to do with any of it.
Her own feelings aside, the Inquisition had struck a powerful blow to Corypheus, though their victory had not been as conclusive as they had hoped. The battle had been won, but the war was not over.
Come morning, the army would begin the long march back to Skyhold, but tonight was for celebrating their victory, mourning their fallen, and healing their wounded. Renna smothered her own worries under the work of tending to the injured until she collapsed from exhaustion.
“Renna,”
She awoke to a gentle hand rubbing her arm. She had fallen asleep slumped against a supply crate in the medical tents, but now she was in a bedroll. Her dry eyes begrudgingly opened to meet Cullen’s bloodshot gaze, dark circles betraying his own exhaustion.
“It’s almost time to march.”
She sat up, stretching her stiff and aching muscles. She was in Cullen’s tent. He must have brought her here after she passed out last night.
“Did you sleep?” she asked, already knowing the answer.
“I’m fine.” he said with an unconvincing attempt at a smile that was more of a grimace. “There’s still some food outside.”
She wouldn’t be able to keep it down this early anyway. At that thought, she was suddenly wide awake. She still hadn’t told him.
“I have to check the preparations.” He kissed her forehead. “Find me later?”
He was already back on his feet, turning to go. There was never enough time.
They didn’t speak much during the day’s ride. There was too much weighing on both of their minds for small talk, and the conversations they did need to have were best held in private.
She kept sifting through everything she had learned about the ancient Elves. Who should they tell? Would the Dalish even believe it? It was going to take a long time to figure out what all this meant to her personally, let alone to her people. Their identity was so tied to the story of what they had lost, rewriting it would shake the foundations of their tradition. But if relics like that still existed, then how much more of themselves could they recover if only they were able to reckon with their past? They had everything to lose, but possibly even more to gain.
That wasn’t the only overwhelming source of stress fighting for her mental attention. The fact that Cullen still didn’t know she was expecting hung so heavily in the air between them that it seemed a wonder no one else could feel it looming there. She kept imagining how he might react. Surely he would be happy, wouldn’t he? They had never really discussed it. It felt strange to be making domestic plans under the circumstances, but her heart had leapt when he mentioned their children in his vows. She was sure he wanted this too, but couldn’t stop the nerves from driving her mad thinking about it anyway.
Renna was extremely grateful that Cullen had his own tent when they finally settled down to sleep. She sat crosslegged on her bedroll, nervously playing with the end of her braid. Her pulse quickened as she searched for the best combination of words.
He laid down beside her with a heavy sigh, staring up at nothing. Renna took his hand in hers and gave it a squeeze.
“Hey,” she said softly.
“Samson took everything from those templars. He corrupted their souls, twisted them into everything they stood against. Everything they would have hated.” His voice was rough with emotion.
Renna put her intentions aside. Rather than feeling relief or triumph, capturing Samson had seemed to bring all of his anger and sadness to the surface. Samson represented the worst possible outcome of the order that had traumatized him, of course he was preoccupied.
“I can’t help but feel sorry for them.” she said honestly.
“They’re barely human anymore, but the red lyrium left Samson’s mind unaltered. I interrogated him last night. He knew what he was doing. He dares speak as if it were a mercy? The man’s a monster. I pray his information is useful. His life is good for little else.”
Renna laid down on her side, facing towards him. “At least it’s over now.” she said halfheartedly. She badly wished that she had something better to say to soothe his bitterness, but she was at a loss.
“Over for us, perhaps. For Samson. Not for those still controlled by Corypheus. I may have felt sorry for him once. But after what he’s done… My sympathies lie with those he betrayed. They will extend no further.” He rolled onto his side to face her. The anger drained out of him as he met her sympathetic gaze, leaving only the sorrow. “I might have known some of them. If my life had gone differently… I might have been one of them.”
She held his hand even tighter. They shared a long, mournful silence, broken when Cullen asked, “Do you ever wonder what would have happened if you had never left your clan?”
The question caught her off guard, and she had to think for a moment before answering. “I had never let myself wonder until recently. I think that even if I hadn’t left back then, I would still have ended up here now. I could never have hid away while the world was breaking.”
He managed a small, fond smile. “No, I don’t imagine you could.”
“And you could never serve Corypheus, just like you couldn’t slaughter the mages in Kirkwall. We’re both here because that’s who we are. There is no other way it could have been.”
“I wish I had your certainty.”
She refused to let him cling to this unjustified self doubt. “I know you wouldn’t have done what he did because you didn’t . We’re here now, and we are going to save the world. Be certain of that.”
His expression cracked into a look of amusement under her glare. “I love how indignant you get when I start wallowing.”
“Well, you’re very stubborn about it.” she snapped, but she was grinning now too. “I have to be at least as stubborn or else you’d never see sense.”
In one fluid motion, he wrapped her in his arms and pulled her on top of him.
“My perfect, stubborn wife.” he sighed into her ear.
She kissed his cheek, and he turned to catch her lips in his. The pressure that had built up inside her from everything she had done and felt over the last few days suddenly released in a wave of desperate need. Renna’s exhausted mind went blessedly blank as Cullen matched her intensity. He eagerly assisted as she frantically tore off her clothes.
His tongue in her mouth, his stubble against her jaw, feeling him grow hard beneath her, she didn’t want to think about anything else. His hand slid across the back of her thigh and slipped between her legs. She whined into his mouth, needily rotating her hips so his fingers could reach just the right spot. His other hand grabbed her leg to pull her higher up his body so he could lavish her breasts with his lips and tongue while his fingers chased after her barely stifled moans. Her legs began to tremble.
“I… nnnnh… I can't–”
His slick fingers worked faster, right where he knew she was most sensitive. She couldn't hold it back. Every muscle in her body flexed and released as the sensation rolled through her in waves. She bit her lip hard to stifle the long moan that escaped her throat.
She collapsed onto him, gasping for air before pulling him into a deep, hungry kiss. Her fingers raked through his soft golden hair as she slipped her tongue into his mouth. She greedily pressed against his hips, drawing a gasp from his lips.
Renna rolled over, taking Cullen with her so she was pinned under his weight. The sight of her lying naked beneath him, face flushed, lips swollen and shining, legs open around him, made his cock throb. He couldn't stand the barrier of fabric keeping him from her for another second. They both set to pulling off his clothes with the urgency of a starving animal tearing into a feast.
She devoured him, kissing, biting, and sucking every part of him she could reach. His hard cock teased her dripping entrance, stoking the heat between her legs back into an inferno.
“I need you… I need to feel you…” his voice was low and desperate.
She wrapped her legs around him, pulling him as close as she could. “Take me.” she begged.
He obeyed, pushing inside her, filling her entirely. Her walls stretched deliciously around his size. She tightened her grip with her legs, pulling him deeper still. He stifled a groan as she took him all the way to the hilt. With every deep thrust her overstimulated clitoris was pressed against his body, and she was hurtling towards another climax.
“Yes… Harder…” she whimpered.
His cock hammered against her inner walls, stretching her to the limit of what she could bear. She had to cover her mouth as she cried out, her back arching involuntarily as she lost herself in him. She felt his cock pulse within her as his hips stuttered. Cullen buried his face in her neck as he moaned, spilling inside her. She dragged her hands down his strong back as they came down from their highs, panting for air. He hummed with pleasure as he drew her into another long and indulgent kiss.
Catching her by surprise, Cullen flipped them over without pulling out. He grabbed her hips, dragging her roughly up and down his length.
“Look at you,” he whispered, “Maker… You're perfect.”
Renna’s eyes watered. “Cullen! It's– Ahh!” She didn't even know what she was trying to say. All she knew was that it was almost too intense for her already sensitive body, but she desperately wanted him to keep going.
“One more,” he murmured. He closed his eyes and swore under his breath, groaning. “Let me give you one more.”
Tears welled in the corners of her eyes. “Yes!” she gasped. It was too much. She needed more. She couldn't take it. She couldn't stop.
This time it was more like an explosion than a wave. She couldn't even think to stop herself from crying out as she surrendered to the euphoria overwhelming her senses. He moaned softly, fingers pressed into the soft flesh around her hips as she tightened around him.
With a final shudder, all of the tension in her body released, leaving her lightheaded and half-delirious with pleasure. They both winced slightly as Renna tried to gently lift herself off of him. They weren't usually so aggressive. She laid down at his side with her head on his chest, completely spent and perfectly relaxed.
“I love you.” they said at the same time. They laughed quietly as he wrapped his comforting arms around her. Cullen kissed her sweetly on the forehead, and within minutes they were fast asleep.
One moment her heavy eyelids were fluttering closed, and the next they were open again, sunlight filtering in through the canvas tent. She had slept like a rock. Cullen was already dressed and lacing up his boots.
“Good morning Love.” he said with a smile.
Renna smiled back, “Good morning Vhenan.” She yawned, searching around the floor for the clothes she had flung across the tent last night. She was half dressed when Cullen stood.
“I have to go. I love you.” He kissed her goodbye and turned to leave. His responsibilities always had him rushing off first thing. They wouldn’t get another chance to talk in private until tonight.
“Wait! I have to tell you!” She sounded a lot more panicked than she intended. Her heart was galloping like a herd of startled halla. “I've been meaning to for days, but with everything happening it was never the right time.” The words tumbled out faster than her brain could form them into anything coherent.
He turned back, alarmed. “What's wrong?”
“Nothing! Nothing wrong, it's… I think I– No, I know. I'm sure I am.”
“You are… What? I'm sorry, should I know what you're talking about?” He sounded genuinely apologetic and very worried.
“No, no I'm sorry. Creators, I don't know how to say it.” This was not going the way she’d imagined. She took a deep breath, and gathered herself. “Cullen,” She clasped his hands in hers, looking into his kind brown eyes, full of care for her. “Vhenan, we're going to have a child.” Saying it out loud was surreal. It felt like she was hearing someone else's voice speaking with her mouth.
“We– a child?” he breathlessly repeated, eyes sparkling and wide, “You mean you’re…”
Excitement bubbled up inside her. It somehow felt both more real and more like a dream now that he knew. She nodded, a wide grin spreading across her face. “Yes. For almost two months, I think.”
“Maker… We're going to have a child. I'll be a father.” He whispered it like a secret, or a miracle he could scarcely believe. His smile grew, ”This is wonderful. How are you feeling? What do you need?” His eyes went wide with horror as a realization hit him. “You were just in battle! Sweet Andraste! You should sit down, or lie down, or– Maker I don't know! You could've– Sorry! Sorry, it's just– Maker's breath!”
“I’m alright, Vhenan.” Renna cut him off before he could keep spiraling. Her own stomach was full of butterflies. The answer was obvious, but still she heard herself ask, “Are you nervous?”
He laughed, and it was only slightly manic, “I'm terrified.” He exhaled, leaning his forehead against hers. He squeezed his eyes shut, holding her hands a little too tightly. “I never thought that I… If anything ever happened to you–”
It never failed to make her heart ache when he let her see him like this, so soft and vulnerable. She guided one of his hands to rest on her belly. “You're not losing anyone. I'm safe. We're safe.”
“Safe.” he repeated, punctuating the word with a small laugh, “If I know us, we'll always find a reason to run into danger.” He kissed her tenderly, one hand on her stomach and one on her neck, tracing the vallaslin on her cheek with his thumb as he so often did. “This is wonderful. I have no idea how to do this, but I'm so happy. I love you.”