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When Shen Qingqiu woke up, he could still feel the pain from when Luo Binghe had ripped off his arms. He’d ripped off his legs first, days before, and Shen Qingqiu had thought that had been it, it couldn’t get any worse, but then he’d gone for his legs afterwards, Shen Qingqiu trying to crawl away despite the blinding pain he felt, and he realized that, despite his best wishes, the pain could always be worse. Everything could always be worse.

And then he’d woken up. 

His first instinct was to sit up and check his legs, his arms, see if they were still intact. His second instinct was to run away. Try as he might, however, his body didn’t cooperate, just as sluggish as his mind, and by the time Yue Qingyuan found him he was dazedly trying to find a way out of the room he was undoubtedly locked in, which only served to confuse him further because as far as he could remember, the one good part of the nightmare he’d been in had been that Yue Qingyuan was safe, far away from the hellhole Luo Binghe had imprisoned him in.

“Shidi,” Yue Qingyuan said, visibly concerned, trying to guide him back to the bed. “You shouldn’t be up so soon, you’ve only just recovered.”

“What are you doing here? I told you to never visit me again,” Shen Qingqiu asked, snapping at a bewildered Yue Qingyuan. “This isn’t safe, he’s going to find you and–”

“Who?” Yue Qingyuan asked, all the while somehow managing to herd him back to the bed. “Who’s going to find me?”

“Luo Binghe,” Shen Qingqiu spat out, settling back into the bed he didn’t remember being on in the first place. 

“Your disciple?” Yue Qingyuan asked, brows furrowed. “Shidi, your disciple is in classes like everyone else. Why would he be trying to find me?”

It was only then, as Yue Qingyuan spoke as though Luo Binghe was just a child and Shen Qingqiu’s brain finally cleared enough for him to be able to take in his surroundings, that he realized something was off. Very, very off. 

“I–”

“Shen-shixiong,” Mu Qingfang interrupted, bursting through the doors to what Shen Qingqiu now recognized as his bedroom back at his bamboo house. “How are you feeling? Zhangmen-shixiong, you really should have let me know as soon as Shen-shixiong woke up–”

Had Shen Qingqiu been dreaming, then? Trapped in a nightmare spanning over several years, where his mind somehow came up all by itself with the idea that Luo Binghe was secretly a demon in disguise, who would come back years after being thrown into the Endless Abyss by his own shizun with only revenge in mind?

No, it couldn’t be. It had to be, at the very least, a premonition. Luo Binghe had always shown promise, had always been able to progress in his cultivation despite Shen Qingqiu’s attempts to sabotage him, so the fact that he secretly possessed demon heritage made sense.

Several things ran through Shen Qingqiu’s mind as Mu Qingfang checked his vitals. He needed to find Luo Binghe and reveal his heritage to Yue Qingyuan so he could be expelled. 

No. Maybe he should kill him before he had a chance to come after him. But then again, everyone would surely know he’d had something to do with it if Luo Binghe were to suddenly disappear. 

His best bet, actually, was to lay low when it came to Luo Binghe. Why should he care if Luo Binghe turned out to be a demon and wreaked havoc on the cultivation world? Just as long as he had nothing to do with it and just as long as he left Luo Binghe alone, there would be no reason for him to take his revenge on him. 

First things first, however, he needed to get rid of Luo Binghe. Ship him off to another Peak. 

“Liu-shidi,” he said, several days later, as soon as he heard the brute was back at the Sect instead of being off fighting anything that moved or breathed in his general direction. “This Master requires an audience with you.”

“Tch, stop acting so proper,” Liu Qingge said, eyeing him warily as he approached his hut. 

Shen Qingqiu had never visited Liu Qingge’s house – to be truthful, he’d assumed he just lived in a cave somewhere in Bai Zhan anytime he happened to be at the Sect – which made Liu Qingge’s wariness very much justified. They never usually managed to go more than three sentences without threatening each other, so Shen Qingqiu needed to put on his best face and make sure they both got out of this unscathed and with a mutual understanding when it came to Luo Binghe.

“What do you want?” Liu Qingge said, still blocking Shen Qingqiu’s access to his hut. 

“An audience,” he repeated. “This Master wishes to speak about one of his disciples, is all.”

They spoke. Liu Qingge was understandably suspicious when Shen Qingqiu suggested he take on Luo Binghe as a disciple, but he’d been interested in taking him on in the first place so it wasn’t very hard to convince him, especially when Shen Qingqiu expertly stroked his ego and convinced him that Luo Binghe would be much more suited to Bai Zhan’s education style, Bai Zhan’s cultivation methods. 

Bai Zhan this, Liu Qingge that, and that very afternoon Shen Qingqiu was summoning Luo Binghe over to his bamboo house.

Shen Qingqiu hadn’t seen Luo Binghe since before his fever or, more accurately, since before his nightmare/premonition. He’d stayed a good two days in his bamboo house, recovering, and then he’d simply done everything in his power to spend as little time as possible with that particular disciple of his, even if Luo Binghe himself had tried to go and visit him in his bamboo house, wanting to bring him food or make him tea to help him get better. 

The Luo Binghe that sat in front of him now was very different from the one who’d ripped off his limbs in his dream, but he knew very well what he would be capable of in a few years. This was for the best. 

“Luo Binghe,” he started, lightly clearing his throat, “this Master has summoned you here today to let you know you are being transferred to Bai Zhan Peak effective immediately.”

Luo Binghe’s mouth dropped open in shock, and he looked far more agitated about the idea of leaving the Peak than Shen Qingqiu had imagined he would be.

“Sh-Shizun, you can’t do that!” Luo Binghe said, frantically. “This disciple can do better, please, don’t make me go–!”

Shen Qingqiu would almost feel bad for his disciple, if it weren’t for the phantom pain he still felt in his biceps and thighs, or the memory of the way his lips had curled into an amused smirk as Shen Qingqiu had tried to crawl away from him. He’d let him go on for a few seconds, letting him think he might actually have a chance before effortlessly crossing the distance between them and ripping off–

“It’s not about you being good or bad,” Shen Qingqiu explained, diplomatically, far more gentle than he had ever been with his disciple. “It’s simply because this Master and Peak Lord Liu believe your cultivation style is more suitable for Bai Zhan Peak, and you’ll be able to progress far more there than you would here.”

It was hard to remind himself to be gentle, to not snap at Luo Binghe or mock him or simply get him out of his sight. He had a plan in motion with the single goal to spare himself the cruelty of the demon Luo BInghe was going to become, and for that he needed to make sure Luo Binghe had no reasons – or practically any reasons, since he could no longer change the past – to want his head on a stake in the future. 

“In fact,” he continued, when Luo Binghe merely pursed his lips and looked as though as he was trying hard not to cry in front of his shizun, “you don’t know this Luo Binghe, but when you first took the entrance tests for the sect Peak Lord Liu originally wanted you to be his disciple.” Luo Binghe’s eyes widened minutely at that, and Shen Qingqiu could see that had gotten his attention. “This Master intervened, perhaps foolishly, but now that some time has gone by it’s become clear that, indeed, Bai Zhan Peak would have been the better choice for you.” And then, forcing himself, “You have so much potential.”

Stars lit up in Luo Binghe’s eyes, then. It was hard to see how much the boy was so eager for his approval, his praise, and reconcile that sight with the image he had of the way he would inevitably turn out to be.

Yes. This was for the best.

“This disciple would still like to stay, shizun,” Luo Binghe whispered, stubbornly. “Please.”

Shen Qingqiu pursed his lips. “You’ll come to thank me in the future for this, Luo Binghe.”

A shichen later, Luo Binghe made his way out of Qing Jing Peak with his sparse belongings, accompanied by one of the many Bai Zhan Disciples.

That night, Shen Qingqiu slept soundly.

☾

Life went on. 

Luo Binghe thrived in Bai Zhan Peak just like Shen Qingqiu knew he would, even if he was well aware Bai Zhan’s teaching method was crude and borderline inexistent, what with Liu Qingge’s extended absences from the Sect only to return, beat up his disciples and call it ‘training’. 

He didn’t try to keep tabs on him, not really, but despite his best attempts, it seemed Luo Binghe was impossible to elude. While Luo Binghe seemed to actively refrain himself from participating in raids to Qing Jing Peak along with his meathead sect siblings, he still found a way to be nearby more often than not.

“This disciple is only visiting Ning-shijie, shizun,” even though Shen Qingqiu told him often that he should no longer refer to him by that title.

“This disciple is here running an errand, shizun,” even though it was a well known fact that Bai Zhan Peak disciples simply did not run errands in Qing Jing Peak. 

“This disciple was just passing by, shizun,” when he was visibly out of excuses.

Shen Qingqiu didn’t know what it was that kept Luo Binghe routinely going back to Qing Jing Peak, but he was sure that, as the years passed, he would get over it and become just another Bai Zhan meathead.

(He was wrong.)

Regardless, Shen Qingqiu kept busy once Luo Binghe was shipped off and was no longer his problem. While he no longer actively antagonized disciplined Luo Binghe, he knew to someone who seemingly held on to grudges for so long the simple removal of their interactions wouldn’t be enough to keep him being neutrally regarded. 

Luo Binghe would grow up to marry a surprising number of women, including Ning Yingying (he preferred not to think of that) and Liu Mingyan, Liu Qingge’s younger sister, and the latter would make a strong case against him in the future.

Apparently, Shen Qingqiu would kill Liu Qingge.

Shen Qingqiu remembered the truth. Even if many of the events he lived had already started to become hazy in his mind, like those of a dream, he didn’t think he’d be able to erase from his mind any time soon the memory of Liu Qingge plunging Cheng Luan into his own chest, being disgustingly decent in his last moments of life in order to avoid harming Shen Qingqiu during his qi deviation.

First things first, he needed to save Liu Qingge. For a very long time, he debated simply not entering the Lingxi caves and just leaving Liu Qingge to qi deviate and die on his own, but in the end he realized someone would probably still find a way to tie his death to his due to their very public rivalry, so he might as well go and do the right thing instead. That, and he could use the boost in his cultivation.

He read extensively on the subject of qi deviations before he went. He remembered vaguely that Shang Qinghua had once tried to give him some half assed advice during one of their missions together but he truthfully didn’t remember it anymore. Luckily, the Qing Jing library was well stocked. 

It was very simple, in the end: don’t panic, don’t try to help, and seek help from a professional. 

Easier said than done, he thought, when a few weeks later he was faced with a qi deviating Liu Qingge who was clearly moments away from severely injuring himself. If Shen Qingqiu were to leave and call for Mu Qingfang… well. He might as well not even have tried, really, and that was what he was trying to avoid altogether. 

There were only two ways this could go: he could succeed or Liu Qingge could die anyway, so Shen Qingqiu jumped in and tried to stop Liu Qingge from doing any further damage to himself.

It wasn’t easy; as soon as Liu Qingge realized there was someone else in the cave with him, he immediately charged and tried to attack him. Slightly more prepared than he’d been the first time around, Shen Qingqiu easily sidestepped him and attempted to knock him out with a spiritual blast from behind. Unfortunately, it didn’t work; instead of getting knocked out, Liu Qingge easily whirled out, blood pouring from various self-inflicted wounds, and caged Shen Qingqiu against one of the cave walls. 

Was this how he died, then? It was at least better than how he was destined to die at the hands of a sadistic, revenge-driven Luo Binghe, but it wasn’t much more pleasant. 

Before Liu Qingge could drive Cheng Luan through his guts, however, Shen Qingqiu somehow managed to dodge him enough to kick Cheng Luan out of his hands and threw himself at Liu Qingge, tackling him to the ground whilst trying to focus enough to start transferring some of his spiritual energy to him.

Surprisingly, it seemed to work. Shen Qingqiu wasn’t sure if it was because Liu Qingge had hit his head during the fall or if it was because the spiritual energy transfer was actually improving his condition, but Liu Qingge quickly stopped thrashing in his hold.

Shen Qingqiu wasn’t sure how much time passed, but eventually he loosened his grip on Liu Qingge – he hadn’t even realized how tightly he’d been holding him in the first place – and shifted to a kneeling position, placing himself next to an unconscious Liu Qingge.

“Liu Qingge?” he murmured, not daring to touch him. Lower still, so Liu Qingge couldn’t hear him, “Are you alive…?”

Liu Qingge stirred then, blearily opening his eyes and squinting when he saw Shen Qingqiu next to him, and Shen Qingqiu sat very still, nearly frozen in place.

“Shen Qingq…?” he started to ask, only to be forcefully stopped by a fit of coughing.

“Don’t strain yourself,” Shen Qingqiu said, forcing himself to not snap as he normally would at Liu Qingge. “You had a qi deviation. Just stay here and I’ll go grab Peak Lord Mu.”

“No need,” Liu Qingge rasped out, but he looked incredibly worse for wear. Then, “What are you doing here?”

Shen Qingqiu rolled his eyes. What a stupid question. Then again, it was Liu Qingge – he couldn’t have expected much more from him. “I was here cultivating, just like you, only to be interrupted by your screaming. Obviously, I saved you.”

Liu Qingge looked confused, and really, he should have known. Liu Qingge had never believed anything positive about him before, always too biased and blind to his own beliefs, so it only made sense that he wouldn’t believe him this time either. As long as it was very clear that he hadn’t killed him, however–

“I almost killed you,” Liu Qingge suddenly said, eyes wide as saucers, “and you saved me.”

“Good to see the qi deviation didn’t affect your brain,” Shen Qingqiu sniffed out, turning his head to the side. “Shall I get Peak Lord Mu now?”

In the end, he didn’t get Peak Lord Mu. Instead, he followed Liu Qingge out of the caves, accompanying him to Mu Qingfang’s Peak – he needed to be sure the record was straight and no one had any misgivings about what had transpired in the caves, after all –, and when they were both being examined–

“Cang Qiong is under attack!” they heard, a disciple bursting through the doors screaming.

Right. That had happened too. 

Shen Qingqiu and Liu Qingge headed to Qing Ding Peak Peak, and the scene that played out was somewhat familiar. The first time around he’d sent Luo Binghe to fight, hadn’t he? 

This time around, however, Luo Binghe was no longer his disciple, and Liu Qingge was right there. Liu Qingge insisted on fighting all three matches – Shen Qingqiu should probably get Mu Qingfang to check for brain damage, after all – but Sha Hualing – the demoness who was leading the attack – said no, so Liu Qingge fought the first match while Liu Mingyan fought the second match against Sha Hualing herself. For the third match–

“This disciple will fight,” Luo Binghe bravely said, quickly glancing at Shen Qingqiu. Shen Qingqiu didn’t know why, though; it wasn’t up to him anymore.

“Don’t embarrass Bai Zhan,” was all Liu Qingge said. 

And that was that. When Tian Chui – the elder demon Luo Binghe fought – tried to sneak an attack against him after having lost, Luo Binghe was quick to intercept it and bring the entire thing to an end. Clearly, his Bai Zhan training was working, because Shen Qingqiu was sure the Luo Binghe from before would have never seen that attack coming. 

When the demons left and the crowd began to scatter, injured disciples being herded to Qian Cao Peak by the peak’s disciples, Shen Qingqiu started to make his leave too. Before he could, however, “Shizun!”

Again with the ‘shizun’. And right in front of Liu Qingge too – who didn’t seem to care, regardless. 

“Luo Binghe,” he greeted, barely able to look at him.

“What did you think of my match, shizun?” Luo Binghe asked, all starry eyes and hopeful smiles. Nothing like the sadistic demon he would become in a few short years. 

“It was…” he paused, unsure of what to say. He didn’t want to interact with Luo Binghe more than strictly necessary, but if he was his usual self then he might never change his fate. “It was adequate,” he settled for saying, because it wasn’t even a lie. It was more than adequate. “You’ve progressed well in Bai Zhan.”

Luo Binghe beamed, and Shen Qingqiu found he needed to look away. It was too much to bear. “I’ll keep working hard to make you proud, shizun.”

“Your shizun is right there,” he said, tilting his head towards Liu Qingge, who was engaged in conversation with his sister. 

Luo Binghe only smiled at that, bowing before wordlessly taking his leave, and Shen Qingqiu followed him with his eyes, unsure on what to feel. Luo Binghe should, by all means, be happy about being away from Qing Jing Peak and out from under Shen Qingqiu’s less than savory actions. So why was it that, instead, he seemed to have become more attached to him?

It was a question he was never quite able to answer as the years passed.

Shen Qingqiu worked hard on keeping his distance from Luo Binghe; Luo Binghe worked hard on shortening it. Additionally, Shen Qingqiu worked hard on ensuring certain events didn’t happen the way they’d happened the first time around – or the way he’d dreamed them; he wasn't sure on the specifics, especially as time went on. 

One of the things Shen Qingqiu most definitely wanted to address and take control over was, without a doubt, the case of Shang Qinghua’s allegiance. 

He’d been the only one to find it odd when Shang Qinghua, a scrawny outer disciple from An Ding Peak at merely 15 years old, had been the sole survivor of a demon attack whilst out on a group mission. No one else had thought it strange, choosing to believe his easy lies and dismiss Shen Qingqiu’s concern as paranoia and vitriol, but Shen Qingqiu knew better. 

Years later, as it turned out, he was right. Shang Qinghua was a spy for the demon realm, and he was willing to bet he’d been a key element in the demon invasion at the Immortal Alliance Conference where Shen Qingqiu had discovered Luo Binghe’s demon heritage.

Ideally, and in the best of chances, Shen Qingqiu wanted to prevent the demon attack from happening altogether and to keep Luo Binghe ignorant to his true heritage. In the worst of chances, he just wanted to be able to confront Shang Qinghua.

So he did. A few weeks after the demon invasion in Cang Qiong, Shen Qingqiu paid Shang Qinghua a visit. 

Shang Qinghua was as slimy as ever, laughing nervously and trying to usher Shen Qingqiu out of his office under the excuse that he was “slammed Shen-shixiong, really, you have no idea how much Zhangmen shixiong is overworking me and underpaying me”, but Shen Qingqiu narrowed his eyes at him and sat down stubbornly on the other side of his low table and Shang Qinghua promptly shut up.

Sighing in defeat, “What brings you here, Shen-shixiong?”

Looking around and spotting Shang Qinghua’s head disciple in the corner, “Dismiss your disciple,” he ordered. “This needs to be a private conversation.”

Shang QInghua laughed nervously again, visibly twitching, but dismissed his disciple anyway. “Are you planning on killing me, Shen-shixiong?”

Shen Qingqiu smiled coldly, a sinister thing, “That depends on what you have to say for yourself.”

As it turned out – and really, Shen Qingqiu should have known –, Shang Qinghua was quite a pitiable thing. He’d pledged allegiance to a demon lord – or one who would be in the future, anyway – in an attempt to save his own life and it had worked. When he’d returned to the Sect after ditching said demon in an inn somewhere, fighting for his life from the poison of a Huan Hua dart, the demon had simply come after him and found him anyway, bypassing any and all Sect wards. It would be funny, if it weren’t also so concerning.

The good news was that Shang Qinghua didn’t really seem to pass on that much information about the Sect to Mobei Jun. The bad news was that he was still very much a spy. 

“Are you going to out me to the Sect leader?” Shang Qinghua asked, the smile on his face strained around the edges.

Shen Qingqiu gave him a long look. He should. He wanted nothing more than to rub the fact that he’d been right in Yue Qingyuan’s face, actually. However, “That depends,” he said, once again. “If you help me with something, I may be able to… forget about this.”

When he told Shang Qinghua that Luo Binghe was a demon, Shang Qinghua didn’t even look surprised. “How do you know about that?” he asked, more surprised with that fact. 

“How do you know about that?” Shen Qingqiu asked, suspiciously.

Mobei Jun had sensed it, apparently, during one of his many forays into the Sect in a day when Luo Binghe had been at An Ding Peak doing something – beating up disciples, very likely. 

That was easy; the hard part was somehow getting Shang Qinghua to spill the beans about his future plans to sneak demons into the upcoming Immortal Alliance Conference without drawing suspicion to himself. Or, at least, it should have been hard; instead:

“Mobei Jun wants to break Luo Binghe’s demonic seal when he invades the Immortal Alliance Conference,” Shang Qinghua blurted out, much to Shen Qingqiu’s shock. 

“He’s invading the Immortal Alliance Conference?” he asked, feigning surprise.

Mobei Jun had a grudge, apparently, even though several years had gone by already since he’d been captured and injured by Huan Hua. Why he’d waited so long to make his move was beyond Shen Qingqiu, but he was more interested in keeping Luo Binghe from awakening as a demon and, most importantly, from going into the Endless Abyss. The world would be much better without such a sadistic demon running around and merging the two realms, in his not-very-humble opinion.

Shang Qinghua promised to try; Shen Qingqiu promised he’d do much worse than out him to Yue Qingyuan if he failed.

The years kept passing.

The Immortal Alliance Conference loomed ahead of them, and Luo Binghe and Shen Qingqiu somehow developed a somewhat cordial relationship. As Luo Binghe kept seeking Shen Qingqiu out for no reason, Shen Qingqiu resigned himself to the fact that if he didn’t want to end up fully limbless then he should put in the effort to be at least cordial to the kid.

No one was more surprised than Shen Qingqiu when, in the end, he ended up actually gaining respect for Luo Binghe.

Fourteen year old Luo Binghe had been scrawny and helpless, eager for attention and approval; seventeen year old Luo Binghe was tall and strong, and nearly on par with Liu Qingge. Shen Qingqiu watched all of his fights in every martial tournament, and he watched the way Luo Binghe always searched for his face in the crowd, always offering him a victorious grin at the end of every fight.

Luo Binghe had indeed developed into a fine cultivator, despite his less than stellar upbringing – adopted by a washer woman who died at a young age and left him just as alone as Shen Qingqiu himself had been; they were too similar, as he came to find out when Luo Binghe once somehow managed to successfully invite himself over for tea – and it would be a shame if all that were to be lost to his hidden demon heritage.

“Mobei Jun won’t interfere,” Shang Qinghua promised, a few weeks before the Conference. “But there will be some demons loose all the same.”

That was fine.

“Will you bet on me, shizun?” Luo Binghe asked one day, during tea – he visited him often, usually when he was back from longer missions off sect that he went to with Liu Qingge, who had named him his head disciple a few months earlier. “At the Conference?”

“This Master doesn’t engage in gambling,” was what he replied, but he knew very well he would bet on him anyway; he would win, too. 

Luo Binghe could never disappoint.

☾

Despite their extensive planning, when Luo Binghe was 17 and competing in the Immortal Alliance Conference, the demon invasion still happened and the rift to the Abyss still opened. Shen Qingqiu couldn’t even bring himself to be mad at Shang Qinghua for not managing to keep that stupid demon of his from ruining their plans – he should have known, really, that things never went his way.

To his surprise, however, “I’ll go down into the Abyss, shizun” Luo Binghe declared. 

Mobei Jun had already left and Shang Qinghua was pretending to be knocked out, so Shen Qingqiu was the only one actually watching everything unfold, the only witness to the most bewildering turn of events. 

“This Master didn’t say you should go down into the Abyss,” he said, and he had a feeling he must be mildly concussed because why else would he be feeling so conflicted? The first time around his heart had been full of hatred for Luo Binghe, sure that throwing the boy into the Abyss was the best option considering his heritage.

This time around, Shen Qingqiu had unwittingly come to feel a certain degree of respect for Luo Binghe; it was a shame, actually, that his potential as a cultivator was being wasted like this, even if he was a demon. It would have been better if he’d never found out, had been able to keep living his life as a human. Then again, maybe Luo Binghe had always known he was different anyway. 

He didn’t know what the best course of action was, feeling oddly conflicted, but Luo Binghe made the decision for him anyway. “This disciple will go down into the Endless Abyss and learn about his demonic heritage,” he said, as though he was talking about simply going off to a different Sect to learn under a new Master for a while and not about going to no man’s land where every nook and cranny hid a different demon. Luo Binghe walked closer to the edge of the Abyss and, before turning around, “I’ll be back, shizun.”

And then he was gone.

☾

Once again, life went on. 

Liu Qingge mourned the loss of the only disciple he ever made head disciple in his life by leaving the sect to beat up everything he could find, Ning Yingying scolded Ming Fan every time he tried to say something along the lines of “good riddance” (likely due to the fact that Luo Binghe had taken his revenge on him and had taken to regularly beating him up every time Ming Fan tried to act up around him), and Shang Qinghua… Well, Shang Qinghua was as twitchy as he always was. 

As for Shen Qingqiu, he felt oddly detached. Luo Binghe’s parting words stuck with him for a long time, and he couldn’t make sense of them. ‘I’ll be back, shizun.’  

What did that mean? Would Luo Binghe still feel the need to return to Shen Qingqiu’s life and make him pay for his early treatment of him? Would he still have revenge in store despite them having built a mostly cordial relationship in the years following his move to Bai Zhan Peak? And even though Luo Binghe had been the one to want to jump into the Abyss, without any prompting from Shen Qingqiu?

Surely not. 

Still, Shen Qingqiu often found himself wondering how things had turned out for Luo Binghe. He was the only one – aside from Shang Qinghua, due to his less than savory associations with the demon realm – who knew that Luo Binghe was a demon – or a half-demon – and that he was alive, and the only one who knew Luo Binghe was roughing it up in the Endless Abyss, becoming stronger than anyone could have ever imagined. Stronger than Liu Qingge himself, even. 

It should have been terrifying, what with the memories he still held of his previous life/dreamscape, but Shen Qingqiu found himself actually curious to know how much he’d managed to change things with his intervention. Regardless, if Luo Binghe was indeed following the same or a similar route as he had before, then Shen Qingqiu knew it would only be a matter of time before he were to find out what had happened to him – five years, to be more exact.

What Shen Qingqiu didn’t take into account, however, was the fact that a Luo Binghe with a stronger cultivation base would probably need to wait less time to make his move. 

Three years after the Immortal Alliance Conference, a demon entourage arrived at the gates of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect. To the surprise of many, it was led by Luo Binghe.

Seventeen year old Luo Binghe had already grown and filled out in surprising ways; twenty one year old Luo Binghe, however, was a force to be reckoned with. The Luo Binghe that stepped forward, flanked by a horde of surly looking demons, was tall, broad chested and looked far too confident of himself. He was reminiscent of the Luo Binghe who had ripped Shen Qingqiu apart what seemed like a lifetime ago but, at the same time, he wasn’t; his mouth wasn’t curved into a sadistic smile and his eyes weren’t glowing near red in anger. 

“Luo Binghe, what is the meaning of this?” Liu Qingge yelled, from his position halfway down the stairs that led to the entrance of the Sect. All the Peak Lords had convened there, followed by their head disciples, and both inner and outer disciples alike had followed too, motivated by their curiosity. “You’re a demon?”

It wasn’t like Luo Binghe could deny it. The mark on his forehead was a dead giveaway as to his demonic descendance – from a Heavenly demon, no less – and the aura he exuded wasn’t much better. It would’ve been easier to convince Liu Qingge that any of the demons behind Luo Binghe wasn’t actually a demon.

“I’m a demon,” Luo Binghe confirmed, setting his jaw. He must have expected some backlash, but why on earth he’d decided to take a trip to Cang Qiong remained a mystery to Shen Qingqiu. “I’m the ruler of the Northern Lands of the Demon Realm and I come to Cang Qiong Mountain Sect to propose a truce,” he declared. 

Yue Qingyuan remained impassive next to him, always the face of serenity in the face of chaos. “And what will happen if we don’t accept this truce?” he inquired politely. “Are we to expect war?”

It would have maybe worked on anyone else but Luo Binghe was nothing if not sly, having honed his silver tongue for years. Shen Qingqiu could still remember the way he’d effortlessly engaged him in conversation for a full shichen back when Shen Qingqiu was still actively trying to avoid him.

“The demon realm and the human realm haven’t been at peace with each other in years,” Luo Binghe reminded Yue Qingyuan. “An alliance with the Northern Lands would guarantee you support in defense against demons from the other territories, and exclusive access to some of the most sought after items from the demon realm.”

All good points. Great points, even. But, “And what’s in it for you?” Shen Qingqiu asked, unable to help himself. He’d wanted to stay in the background and not draw Luo Binghe’s attention to himself, but that was too little too late. “So far you’ve only listed benefits for the Sect. How exactly would this alliance work?”

“Shizun,” Luo Binghe greeted, grinning almost manically. Yue Qingyuan shifted slightly closer to Shen Qingqiu, trying to keep him from Luo Binghe’s sight; Shen Qingqiu merely shot him an annoyed look. He was the strategist of the Sect, not a maiden to be protected. “This disciple is happy to see you in good health.”

Shen Qingqiu hardly knew what to say. “Likewise,” he said, ignoring the glare Liu Qingge was sending his way. “Will you answer my question now?”

“To answer your question, shizun,” Luo Binghe said, taking a step closer, eyes solely on Shen Qingqiu, “the demon realm proposes an alliance through marriage,” at this, several murmurs erupted through the crowd of disciples behind him, trying to guess who Luo Binghe was here for, before Luo Binghe continued, “to the Qing Jing Peak Lord, Shen Qingqiu.”

“Absolutely not,” Liu Qingge immediately said, coming to stand closer to Shen Qingqiu. Shen Qingqiu couldn’t even tell him off because he was frozen in place, trying to process Luo Binghe’s words. 

Was this all an elaborate ploy to get him trapped in his palace so he could torture him the way he’d done in the past? No– not in the past, but– back then? Did Luo Binghe still hold such contempt for him in his heart that he was still adamant in hunting Shen Qingqiu down and keeping him locked away?

“This Master respectfully declines,” he heard himself say, effectively hushing the whispers all around them. Luo Binghe looked stricken; Shen Qingqiu couldn’t imagine why – had he really thought he would say yes? “This Master is sure, however, that there are several other viable options.”

With that, he took his leave, bowing respectfully before turning, the crowd of disciples parting in front of him to let him go up the stairs. 

☾

The demon entourage was offered guest quarters at Qiong Ding Peak. Ning Yingying had told him as much later that day, relaying the information to him under the excuse of serving him his afternoon tea, and told him that Luo Binghe had respectfully declined, choosing to stay elsewhere and not impose on the Sect for the duration of their negotiations.

A chest full of gifts had been carried up the stairs by Luo Binghe’s underlings, with strict instructions that it was to be offered solely to Shen Qingqiu. Shen Qingqiu assumed Yue Qingyuan was keeping the chest hostage, seeing as no one had come to bother him about it yet.

Luo Binghe’s parting words before jumping to the Endless Abyss were back to haunt him later that night as he tried to sleep, making him toss and turn in an attempt to get comfortable. Luo Binghe had said they would see each other again and that he would be back, and now he’d indeed come to collect on that promise. 

Why an alliance? Why marriage? Why not set him up the way he had the first time around and throw him in the Water Prison as he slowly took over Huan Hua? Was he even affiliated with Huan Hua in this life?

Shen Qingqiu was anxious and slowly developing a migraine, and it wasn’t made better by the fact that he could hear the unmistakable sound of footsteps echoing through his bamboo cottage, soft but steady, heading for his bedroom.

Fully alert, Shen Qingqiu summoned Xiu Ya to his side and held it close to his chest. He would lie on his side with his back against the door, feigning sleep, and when the attacker tried to attack him he would–

“Shizun.”

Of course. Luo Binghe. He should have known.

Slowly, Shen Qingqiu sat up, keeping Xiu Ya hidden under the sheets. “Luo Binghe,” he greeted, trying to keep his cool. Still, his hands were trembling as they gripped the sheets. He’d managed to go nearly seven whole years having a second opportunity at life, trying to make sure this time around he had a chance to escape his fate at the hands of Luo Binghe, but now– “Why are you in my home? At this time, too?”

“I needed to talk to you,” Luo Binghe said, dropping the honorifics. “You refused to join the negotiations, so this was my only chance.”

“It hardly seems proper,” Shen Qingqiu said, unconsciously bringing the sheets higher up against him, “especially when you’re proposing marriage to this Master.”

As much as he didn’t want to admit it, Luo Binghe looked intimidating like this, towering over Shen Qingqiu’s bed. The bright glow from the near-full moon outside made his eyes look even redder and accentuated the fine, angular lines of his face. If Shen Qingqiu were any less scared, he would have found him handsome. As it was, he merely gripped the sword under the sheets tighter, hyper alert to every movement Luo Binghe made.

Suddenly, Luo Binghe dropped to his knees and started to crawl up the bed towards Shen Qingqiu, startling him to the point of dropping his grip on the sheets and the sword. His eyes were wide as saucers as Luo Binghe reached him and took hold of his hands, gripping them with so much force it nearly hurt.

“What’s gotten into you, Luo Binghe?!” he asked, completely losing his composure. “What is the meaning of this?”

“Shizun, why did you say no?” Luo Binghe asked, sounding desperate, and to Shen Qingqiu’s horror he could see there were tears forming at the corner of his eyes. What the–? “For years I’ve been training hard to be strong enough, to be good enough for you, eager to get back to you and make you mine, and you reject me just like that?”

What? “What?” he echoed, because his brain was so scrambled he couldn’t really think. And for good measure, because he still couldn’t think of a single thing, “What?”

The Qing Jing Peak Lord wasn’t often at a loss for words, but he thought this time around was more than justified. 

“Surely you know,” Luo Binghe breathed out, gripping his hands even tighter, “how much I love you, shizun. You have to have known.”

Shen Qingqiu squeaked when Luo Binghe leaned forward and captured his lips in a kiss, and tried to lean back as far as he possibly could to try and get away. Luo Binghe had just stolen his first kiss, and the worst part was, if he’d been able to even think for a single second, to make sense of the world around him, he would have to admit to himself he hadn’t even disliked it.

“I know no such thing,” he said, completely dazed, foregoing every single ounce of propriety he’d ever been taught since he’d joined the Sect. “I thought you wanted to kill me.”

“Kill you?” Luo Binghe asked, frowning in confusion. He was so close now, having followed Shen Qingqiu as he tried to lean back, backing him against the headboard. Shen Qingqiu could feel Luo Binghe’s warm breath mixing with his, making him shiver despite the warm breeze filtering in through the window. “Shizun, I could never do that. Don’t you know all I’ve ever wanted was your attention?” he asked, dropping another kiss to his lips. 

And ah. There it was. Was that what it had been, then? Had Luo Binghe simply wanted his attention in both lives? Was the fact that Shen Qingqiu had acted cordially with him this time around truly been enough to make so much of a difference that Luo Binghe was– was–?

“That’s not love,” he breathed out, trying to keep himself from chasing after Luo Binghe’s lips.

Luo Binghe kissed him again, licking into his mouth this time, letting go of his hands to be able to cup his face as he did, and Shen Qingqiu had already nearly forgotten what they’d been talking about when he broke their kiss and, “Let me show you then.”

Shen Qingqiu hated most men. Always had, ever since he was little, allowing himself a single exception in the form of Yue Qingyuan who had still gone and disappointed him years later. He hated men so much he never wanted any of them to touch him, not unless he could touch them back and hurt them too, the same way they hurt him. 

But Luo Binghe’s touch didn’t hurt, not in any way that mattered. 

Luo Binghe kissed him until he was breathless, covered his face and neck and shoulders and later his chest in wet, open mouthed kisses, little playful nibbles, and when it hurt Shen Qingqiu found he actually liked it. 

He liked it when Luo Binghe repositioned him to lie on his back so he could cage him in with his arms, and he liked it when their cocks slid against each other, even if it hurt from how hard he was, from how much he wanted to just let go and come.

He liked it when Luo Binghe opened him with his fingers, even if the initial stretch burned a little, and he liked it when he slid into him the first time, even if his breath was knocked out of his chest from how full he felt.

Luo Binghe was all over him, biting and kissing and licking everywhere he could reach, overwhelmed and babbling about how much he loved him, “Shizun, I saved myself for you, is this also your first time?” and Shen Qingqiu lied and nodded because really, in every way that mattered, it was.

And when it was over and they lied in bed together, sweaty and flushed and with Shen Qingqiu squirming in Luo Binghe’s too-hot hold, he realized that while the Luo Binghe from his first life may have both loved and hated him to the point of keeping him where no one else could see him, ripping him apart in his desperate attempt to get his shizun’s attention, the Luo Binghe in this life simply loved him. 

Shen Qingqiu didn’t really know what love felt like, but he was willing to learn.

So that morning, ignoring all the curious stares from the disciples littering around the Peak, after Luo Binghe slipped out of his cottage well before anyone else was awake, he headed to Qiong Ding Peak to seek an audience with Yue Qingyuan.

“Sect Leader Yue,” he greeted, amused by the bewildered look on Yue Qingyuan’s face. “This Master has given it some more thought and he’d like to accept Luo Binghe’s proposal.”

Yue Qingyuan was aghast. “Xiao Jiu–”

“Don’t call me that,” Shen Qingqiu automatically said, though with far less venom than he usually mustered. Ah, maybe this was the effect love had on him. “Now, will you call for Luo Binghe’s entourage? We need to start the negotiations.”

“Shen-shidi,” Yue Qingyuan tried again, hopelessly, “you can’t be serious. Please give it some more thought.”

“Clearly, this Master has given it some more thought,” he said, turning up his nose slightly. Then, because Yue Qingyuan was silently staring at him still, clearly not knowing what else to say, “Shall we get some tea too?”