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Four months went by and Brian fell into his new life and new identity. He wasn't Brian Spilner, rookie cop pretending to be a rookie racer and he wasn't Agent Brian, bad ass sniper. He was fitting into the new role of Brian O'Conner, mechanic and surfer. Most days it was easy enough to forget that Command ever happened and that he was ever someone else.
There were only 2 real reminders that it was all real; one was the little blue pills he took at night to sleep. Taking a drug to stop the nightmares battled with his mind's need to be alert even in rest. The jobs, missions, Command, Angelica, all of those could be compartmentalized during his waking hours. It was coping the best way he knew how to, he'd done what he had to for his country and everything his government told him to. If that lie seemed hollow, no one called him on it.
The shop's business was steady and Dom's hand healed two months ago. Mostly it was just the two of them, each working on their own cars or projects. The race for the Cobra was put off until Brian could find an appropriate car to build. There was an easy friendship between them, mostly filled with car talk or comfortable silences.
On occasion Dom would try to bring up the lump of anger and resentment hiding under Brian's ice mask but Brian always gave a grin and a flippant remark. What good would fighting do? Brian knew he couldn't just leave he wasn’t allowed, no matter how the talk went down he would have to swallow his pride and make nice. Fuck that shit. If he wanted to talk about his feelings he'd have chosen therapy.
The other issue that persisted in paradise was that Brian needed to get laid and he wanted Dom. What was frustrating was he knew Dom wanted him, he saw the lingering looks. But the one time Brian tried to move things forward he'd been pushed off.
Brian had been working and living down in Nicaragua for a month; this was Dom's first day back at the shop. A whole long day of shirtless, sweaty Dom had pushed Brian to the edge of his restraint. It'd been a long time since he'd gotten off with more than his hand and Brian hadn't seen Dom bring anyone home either. What he had seen was Dom checking out his ass or the way his eyes tracked each drop of water down his chest after Brian came in from surfing. He wasn't an idiot he knew when someone wanted him.
So, he waited until Mia was out of the house and Vince was off with the latest girlfriend to make his move. Dom was in the kitchen and Brian walked in wearing board shorts low on his hips. Brian watched him for a moment trying to decide how to make his move. He decided to go for it, that method had always worked for Xander.
Dom must of noticed him staring. “Hey Bri, everything okay?”
“Yeah man. Whatcha up to?”
“Fixin to make dinner.”
Brian nodded at him, bouncing on his feet. Direct approach was failing. Xander was Xander and now that he was aping him it seemed stupid. What if he was wrong and Dom wasn’t really interested?
“You okay? You seem nervous?”
“I'm good.”
“Seriously. If you want to say something. Just say it, you're driving me insane with the bouncing.”
“I need to get laid.”
“That right?” Dom was turned from the counter now, facing him.
Brian knew this was ridiculous, being nervous, he was a sniper and a good looking guy but this was Dom's house and these were different rules.
“I think you could help me out with that.” Brian grinned, he saw the heat in Dom's eyes. Hell yes.
“That what you think O'Conner?” That was a green light if Brian had ever seen one. He leaned in and Dom's mouth was perfect. Suddenly Dom's hands were pushing him back.
“Before we do this, we got shit to work out. I'm not Xander.”
“Talk is boring.” And dove back in. This time Dom pushed him back with force.
“I'm not Xander. You aren't gonna treat me like shit then turn around and fuck me.”
“Fuck this.” Brian started to walk away. This was going to end badly and he didn't want to go there. Why couldn't they just fuck?
Dom reached out for his arm but Brian pivoted away.
“Bri, hold up.”
“I'll just get it elsewhere. You're not the only one interested.”
Now he felt different from the person that tried it on with Dom months ago, when he was still more sniper then civilian. Dom hadn't made any moves and Brian had no desire to get rejected again. Dom was good at rejecting him.
Brian was finishing up an old Mercedes alone in the garage when the door opened. Thinking Dom was getting him for dinner, he called out.
“I'll be in in a few minutes, just tell Mia to start without me.”
“Mia already knows I'm taking you out.”
Brian hit his head on the hood.
“Xander?”
“You remember me. I was worried.”
Brian tried to smirk. A war of emotions rising in him. Cage was someone who’d only known him as the sniper and his new identity didn't know what to do with that.
“Forget you? I wish.”
“You ready to party?”
Brian smiled this he definitely knew how to do.
Hours later both men stumbled into the house, drunk and laughing.
Brian brought a finger up to his mouth. “SHHHH!”
“Bri, I think you're drunk.”
“No, you're drunk. We discussed this back at the bar.”
“You look good Bri.” Cage leaned in, pushing him against the wall in the hall way. How the fuck had they gotten up the stairs? He could feel a door knob digging into his back. Who the hell made door knobs so hard? Xander's mouth was insistent, teeth nipping at Brian's bottom lip.
“Fuck yes.”
Xander's hand was heavy on his crotch and Brian thrust into the warmth. When that hand slipped into his jeans no one had to know he wished it was a rough hand with calluses.
When Brian woke up the next morning there was a heavy arm across his waist and a heavy pounding in his head. For a moment he thought he'd snuck into Dom’s room drunk off his ass and slept with him but his eyes found tattoos and he remembered. Well fuck. That happened.
Brian laid in bed, listening to Xander's snores, head splitting open and far too embarrassed to go downstairs. He knew the looks he'd get from Mia and Vince. Not to mention Dom. Well, that one he wouldn't mind, let Dom see him with someone else. Someone who wanted him.
“Fuck...my head.” Xander groaned out next to him.
“Yea, I'm trying to decide if it's worth moving for aspirin.”
Suddenly the warmth on his belly was gone.
“Shit. Dom is gonna kill me.”
“Why's that?” Why would Xander think Dom had a claim?
“You tellin' me that you boys haven't worked out your shit?”
“Nothin' to work out. Are you saying you fucked me thinkin' I was with Dom?”
“My head hurts way too much to deal with this.”
Brian rolled out of bed; time to face the music. When he went downstairs there was no one around. Walking into the kitchen he grabbed a glass of water and some aspirin. He kept expecting someone to pop out of the corner and yell at him. It occurred to him that he hadn't done anything too wrong. If Mia and Vince thought it was fucked up that he fucked Xander, oh well. He didn't feel quite convinced. Thinking the ocean might settle his thoughts; Brian got his board and headed out.
The sun was setting by the time he headed back in; his mind calm. Xander was in the living room with Dom and had his bags in hand.
“You leaving? I thought you had to do an eval?”
“I got time. You two need to work your shit out. I'm serious. If you don’t I will fail your ass Brian.”
“Cage that has nothing to do with...”
“Not an option. Talk.” Watching Cage leave, Brian felt pissed off. Who the hell was he to decide it was share time? When the hell did he ever get to be make his own decisions? Brian had done everything they’d asked and still more was required. Dom's voice cut his self-pity short.
“You gonna tell me what’s wrong O'Connor?”
“Sounds like you should tell me. You and Cage have another little sit down and decide my fate? So, what’s it to be?”
“You're being an asshole. These last few months, I thought your shit was getting better. 12 hours with him and it’s all back to the beginning again.”
“Stop acting like you know me.”
“You think I don't? You seemed pretty happy for a while.”
“Of course I did! You think I got a choice?”
“So it’s all an act? You're acting like shit is okay?”
“Would you let me stay if I didn’t? If I just fought with you the whole time?”
“Why would you want to? What are you so pissed at?”
“It doesn't matter.” Brian tried to walk back up the stairs.
Dom chased after him and pushed him against the wall, hands trapping him there.
“We are gonna have this out O'Connor.” His face was so close and the fucking asshole just kept acting like he didn't want him. Brian leaned in and captured Dom's mouth. As soon as a moan escaped him, Dom pulled back.
“No, we're gonna talk not fuck. I'm not Xander, I don't fuck people who hate me.”
“I know you're not Cage! Why do you keep saying that?”
“Cause he's got my face! And you fuck him and you treat him like shit. You’re not gonna do it to me.”
“Cage came on to me. Not the other way around. I didn't pursue him. He kissed me and I thought fuck it, what difference does it make if he has me? At least somebody will. You don't want this then fine.”
“You got a problem with listening Bri. We're talking this out.”
“There is nothing to talk about.”
“Wrong answer. My house, my rules.”
“Why do you care Dom? They’re paying you to keep me here aren’t they? If they weren’t would you still want me?”
“You think I’d deal with feds if I didn't? You're family and I don't want you in my house, under my roof, hating me.”
“You have a shitty way of treating your family.” Brian said, and he knew he was pushing Dom’s buttons. Daring him to lose his temper. But fuck him, if Dom wanted the truth about how Brian was feeling; fine let him deal with it.
“I gave up my badge, I killed Tran, I risked my life jumping onto that Semi and you just dumped me. You left me holding the bag. When Command came for me they didn’t give me a choice. They buried me, told you I went to prison and instead of you showing up at my funeral you bought a slice of paradise for yourself. I gave up my everything for you. You know what happened to me at Command? You know what they did to me? What my job was? I got to kill people for a living. I've killed so many people I don’t even remember them all. I’ve killed kids. Whaddya think of that? And you didn't even come to my funeral. You didn't want me then and you don’t want me now either. You’re rejecting me and you want to know why I hate you? Fuck you.”
Brian tried to push Dom off but Dom tightened his grip.
“Bri, I didn't know. I didn't know about you going to prison for us. I didn’t know about your death until weeks after your funeral, we were all split up. We got back together to hold a memorial for you and I felt nothin but guilt for years. Then you turned up on my doorstep with a lookalike and a chip on your shoulder. You used me and you took off.”
“Before you could send me away.”
“Why would you think...Bri...I...I would never send you away. I got tortured for you.”
“You think she never tortured me?"
“I had no idea you were carryin' all this around. You do good at hiding it. I'll tell Xander that you're safe with the public. You haven't killed me yet so you obviously have some serious restraint.”
Dom dropped his head and walked upstairs.
Angelica must have been right about revenge because all Brian felt was ash in his mouth and churning in his gut.
Two days later when Cage returned things weren't much better. Mia was with a boyfriend in the States and Vince had fled to a girlfriend's house until “you bitches work it out.” Brian didn't know what Dom said to Cage but it clearly wasn't good. Cage practically broke his door down when he burst in.
“What the fucking hell is wrong with you?”
“Excuse me?” Because did Cage not remember all the ways he could kill him?
“What part of work your shit out did you not get?”
“I tried. He walked away.”
“Did it ever occur to your emotionally stunted mind to follow?”
“Watch it Cage. I can still take your ass.”
“Personally, I don't know why he puts up with you, but...”
“Drop it.”
“No, you're gonna hear this.”
The crunch of bone in Cage's face felt good. Finally he got to act. Brian hated the feeling of being powerless. Dom was so in control, just fucking sexy and powerful pushing him aside like it’s easy. Like the storm brewing between them was only visible to Brian. Like the need to touch and fuck and fight and all this need was just on Brian’s end.
It made Brian so angry, so freaking furious and Dom didn't seem to care. Acted like none of it was real, like it was all in Brian's head. If Brian was crazy it was because that asshole drove him to it. The constant push-pull of feeling nothing then everything. Punching Xander wasn't as satisfying as punching Dom but at least it was the same face.
“I told Dom how I felt, he walked away. You self-righteous asshole.”
Brian walked out with Cage still holding his nose. Fucker better not bleed on his bed. Dom was outside the door.
“Spying on me?”
“I heard yelling.”
“Yeah? What else did you hear?”
“It’s my fault,” Dom said and he didn’t seem to be joking.
Brian was on the edge, he could keep handing Dom the power and keep backing off or he could make the effort to make Dom understand where he was coming from. He knew Dom and he wouldn't accept anything half ass.
“Dom…I don't...I'm not sure what I can give you.” Fuck he hated feelings.
“I just need you to try Bri.”
That he could do. This time when they kissed Brian waited for a shove that never came. He was sure they’d of gotten further if Cage hadn't interrupted.
“I feel like you two deserve a slow clap.”