Chapter Text
I rolled my neck around, pressing my phone to my ear as I listened to Artemis’s voice. “So, yeah, the students are doing really well. What are you doing? Preparing for another delivery,” She asked.
“I just had it shipped actually. Delivery truck left about 20 minutes ago,” I hummed. “I’m preparing for something else.”
“Oh, is your brother coming over?”
I nodded. “Yeah. When he got accepted into Stanford, he’s made it a point to drive from his dorm to come visit me. It’s nice.”
“He’s the one that still talks to your mom, right?”
I hummed. “I mean, yeah. Though I’m not surprised.” I rubbed the back of my neck. “After the blow-up last year, she’s trying to get back onto my good side, which is hard considering what she did. I’m mature about it though, civil until I don’t have to see her.”
“That’s good, honestly. I’m surprised you still want to talk to her.”
“I’m too old to be fighting her on this.”
“You’re turning 25 next month. There is no way you’re old.”
I sighed. “I feel like I’m in my 40s with how much work has been piled on me.” I shrugged. “I’m still glad I’m youthful though because of M’gann’s and Conner’s wedding. I can’t believe they’ll be getting married this year. I feel like this should’ve happened years ago.”
“Who are you telling? First they have to do the ceremony on Mars. Then they’ll be back here to do the human ceremony.”
“I know. And I’m glad. And are you sure the bridesmaid dress I chose is good.”
“It doesn’t matter if it’s good or not. You’ll be taking photos!”
“I know!” I grinned. My eyes darted over towards my camera that was currently on the charger. “I’m honored they asked me to take their wedding photos when we had the bon voyage party last week! I have my camera with two backup batteries just in case. And I have two extra memory cards for it too.”
“You are over prepared.”
“I like weddings okay! And I’m painting them as a free present commission. Let me be excited in peace Artemis. Go worry about your date with Jason.” I waved my hand with a huff.
“Oh my god, get over it!”
I rolled my eyes. “You didn’t tell me you were dating him! I thought it’d be sisters before misters,” I gave a fake sniffle. “How could you do this to me Artemis?!”
She laughed. “Says the girl who sits at home all day fantasizing over actors.”
“At least at the end of the day, they are real in my heart.”
“Yeah, and fictional in real life.”
I glared. “…They can appear in my dreams.”
“You need to go out more!”
“Whatever, I’m fine!” My doorbell rang. “Oh, my brother’s here. I’m going to let you go. Have fun at class. And with Jason.” I snickered.
“Oh, put a sock in it!”
“Love you Arty!” I hung up and headed over towards the front door. I opened it up to see Derek. He gave a tired grin. “Hey Kiddo. C’mon in!” I motioned over.
“Hey Eileen,” He walked in.
I shut the door after him. “So, what can I do you for? You did just visit me last week, unless there’s something new you found out.” I headed into my art studio.
“Yeah, there is! I, um, met someone.”
“Oh? You met someone?” I put away some of my paint brushes.
“She’s very nice!”
I chuckled. “I would hope so.”
“She’s… not that religious.”
I placed my easel against the wall. “And that should bother me why?” I looked at him. I saw him shift nervously.
“It shouldn’t, but… I don’t know how to introduce her to Mom.”
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”
“You dated Wally and Wally was more of a scientist.”
“Yes, because he saw a lot of stuff through a scientific point of view. I’m trying to understand what kind of point you’re trying to make.” I tilted my head. “Is this girl a scientist?”
“A physicist.”
“Okay?”
“She… believes in science more than faith.”
I crossed my arms, leaning against the counter space in my studio. “And does that bother you?”
He swallowed. “At first, it did. Then… I understood why she thought that way.” He breathed. “She was raised in a toxic religious household… and I realized that we were kinda in the same boat with Grandma and Grandpa. Mom has branched a few times, but still holds her religious values to heart. I can’t just…”
“Look, I’m not particularly religious myself, so I’m not the best person to ask, but if you genuinely like her, you two are going to weave your way out of this. It’s not the first case of this. If you think she’s worth it, then you’ll have to work for it. You both will have to work out your differences.”
He slowly nodded. “I see…”
“Give it some thought. Mull it over.” I smiled. “It’s easy for me to think about it. I’ve met multiple different kinds of people. I know what different points of view are like.”
--
I finished placing the box down, ready to build a new shelf for my art supplies when I heard my doorbell ring. I walked up, eager to see who it was since I wasn’t expecting any visitors. I opened up the door. “Dick, Kaldur, what a surprise? What’s up,” I asked. They had solemn look on their faces. “…” I swallowed. “What happened?”
“Conner’s gone,” Dick approached.
I could feel the sadness and tears well up. I breathed. “How’s M’gann? Is she still on Mars?”
Kaldur nodded his head. “She is getting her affairs in order,” He answered me.
I slowly nodded. “Okay… Okay…” I shuddered out a sigh. I wiped my face. I nodded again. “Okay.”
“Eileen-,” Dick started.
“I…” I breathed. “We started this. Getting Conner out of Cadmus. Making a name for ourselves with the Team. And look where we are.” I placed a hand on my chest. “I can’t imagine…” I swallowed again. “Imagine what M’gann’s going through. So, I can keep it together. Whatever you need me to do, I’ll do it.”
“There’s already talks of memorial services,” Kaldur murmured.
“I’ll be there. Whatever you need me to do.”
--
I wiped my eyes, feeling the heavy weight on my chest as I stared at Conner’s newly formed hologram beside Wally’s. I stared at the both of them briefly, releasing a heavy sigh.
I never thought someone else could be gone from us so soon…
I sniffled. “Eileen,” I heard and saw Canary walk up. “You’ve been coming by a lot lately.” I looked back at Conner’s hologram. “You know you can talk, Eileen. You’re free as always to speak with me. Just like our previous sessions.”
“…It’s hard to believe it could happen to any else, you know,” I murmured. “I’m still struggling with the loss of Wally these days, but… now Conner too? Conner has always been like a brother to me. He’s been there when I’ve needed him the most. Him and the others have seen me at one of my lowest points of my life. I… never thought… Out of all of us, I never thought it’d be so soon.”
“Death happens in mysterious ways. In the end, we know that Conner did what he had to do to help out the people of Mars.”
“That’s something I can get around, but it doesn’t feel like he’s gone. At the same time though, it does. I can feel the weight hitting my chest and… It was 10 years ago. When we met, when we became friends. I still sometimes feel like it’s 10 years ago. And we’re running around on the Team, me and everyone else.” I breathed. “I’ve looked through a lot of old photos of us, all of us. I know he worked hard. He did his duty. But I can’t help but keep coming back to how M’gann feels.” I looked at Canary. “How everyone else feels. I’m worried about everyone else. Somehow, I feel like I… I’ve already been through the ringer with this. I’m worried about everyone else now.”
“It’s okay to worry about yourself too. You’re thinking about the past, reminiscing, as a way to cope with the memories you, Conner, and everyone else shared. It’s okay to feel that way, Eileen. You don’t have to put aside your grief to help the others.”
“…In a way, it feels like I have to because they all helped me, eased me, back to how I am now. I owe them a great amount of debt.” I looked at the hologram again. “Conner included. If I am just able to do one thing… let it be that…” I breathed. “I’ve grieved for a long time… In a way, I want to honor Conner’s memory.”
“How is that process going along? You seem to still grieve over Wally, but you’re trying your best to get over Conner’s death as well.”
I placed a hand on my chest, looking down at it. “It’s unfortunately a thing that’s hard to explain. You see, in the universal emotional spectrum, something I’ve learned a few years ago, different emotions empower over others and sometimes it stays that way. This is my case. I learned that my overpowering love for Wally has seemed to stay for a long time. I’ve been told by several alien empaths that it’s a sign of, uh… having a soulmate?” I shrugged. “It was weird when I was told this, but the reason why my love for him has always lingered is because of this. It’s a reason why the Star Sapphires think I would be good among their ranks, though I doubt it. My willpower has pushed me through new heights before.”