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Regulus takes a deep breath and he walks through the doors. It’s the morning of his very first day of high school.
He says hi to his friends that he hasn’t seen in a while, smiling and nodding as they talk to him. He swoops to the side, trying to stay out of everyone’s way.
It’s his freshman year, his first year. He wants to make a good impression, he’s going to be here for the next four years. There’s no leaving the town, no escaping if he makes an enemy.
His brother is a senior there and all Regulus wants to do is join him. As Regulus walks down the hall, he spots Sirius with his friends. The pretty boy with the hazel eyes locks eyes with Regulus from the corner.
All Regulus does is hope that one of the senior boys, preferably that boy, will wink at him and say “You know I haven’t seen you around, before”.
Something sweet, something romantic. Something worthy of a first date. That’s what Regulus wants.
Regulus is fifteen years old and what can one do with that?
Sirius worries that Regulus will be naive, especially when it comes to love. He knows that when you’re fifteen and someone tells you that they love you, you’re going to believe them.
At fifteen, you delude yourself that there’s nothing you need to figure out. Sirius knows that he needs to let Regulus make his own mistakes, but he worries despite himself.
He whispers to Regulus before the first period, count to ten, take it in. This is the life before Regulus knows who he is going to be, at fifteen.
Regulus sits in class next to a blonde named Pandora. As the days pass and they talk often, soon enough, they’re best friends. They laugh at the other students that think they’re so cool.
Looking each other in the eyes, Regulus and Pandora link pinkies and they promise each other. They’ll be out of here as soon as they can be. They’ll run off to the big, great world and find their lives out there.
Be free to be themselves.
And then Regulus is on his very first date and James Potter has a car. Regulus is on a date with his brother’s best friend, behind his brother’s back.
He’s going out with the pretty boy with the hazel eyes, and it’s everything he ever dreamed it would be. Regulus feels as if he’s flying.
Pandora is waiting up for him at her house, waiting for him to come home and tell her everything.
Regulus thinks to himself that James is the one. He’s dancing around his room in happiness as the night ends, the perfect night. Butterflies fill Regulus’s stomach.
Because Regulus is fifteen and when James tells him that he loves him, Regulus believes him. Regulus can’t help but believe him, he loves James so much. He’s head over heels. Regulus is fifteen and his first kiss makes his head spin around.
He doesn’t realize that in his life, he will do things greater than dating the boy on the football team. James was the quarterback and to wear his jersey seemed like the greatest accomplishment in Regulus’s life.
Regulus didn’t know that he would do greater things, not at fifteen.
Regulus remembers that all he wanted was to be wanted. He wishes he could go back and tell himself what he knows now. Go back and visit his little fifteen year old self.
Back then he swore he was going to marry James someday, but he realized some bigger dreams of his.
And Pandora gave everything she had to a boy who changed his mind. Together, they both cried.
Because when you’re fifteen and somebody tells you that they love you, you’ll always believe them. Regulus had believed James, he truly had. When Regulus was fifteen, he forgot to look before he fell.
Now, Regulus has found that time can heal most anything. Now, he’s found who he’s supposed to be, on his own. He didn’t know who he was supposed to be at fifteen.
Sometimes, Regulus looks back and remembers his very first day.
He never wishes to change it, it’s the experience he needed. He only thinks that his fifteen year old self needs to take a deep breath.
Take a deep breath as he walks through the doors.