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Summary
Oisin woke up with a sore chest and a million thoughts going through his head. He saw the memories of his deeds flash through his eyes every horrible action and stupid decision. He felt so distant from himself like he was astral projecting away but there was no silver cord to pull him back. In that moment Oisin made the decision never be himself again.
Or
After his second death Oisin leaves the gymnasium before the other Rat Grinders wake up and tries to become anyone but himself.