Chapter Text
For the next couple of weeks, Jungkook struggled to compare the guys he remembered to the guys he currently knows. Their tender care contrasted greatly to the ice-cold care they had shown before.
Jungkook refused to believe it. Maybe those were memories that were implanted through a mischievous one-sided villain to drive Jungkook away from the other six men so the villain could be with BTS instead. That explanation seemed more likely to Jungkook than the memories being real.
Jin, who would cook the yummy soup so that Jungkook would have something to look forward to each meal. Taehyung, who would cuddle Jungkook whenever he asked. Namjoon, who would tell sweet stories to Jungkook right before bed. Yoongi, who would bring a new composition for Jungkook to listen to while on bed rest. Hoseok, who would flash a comforting smile every time he would bring Jungkook out of a panic attack about forgetting the past again. Jimin, who whispered sweet nothings when he thought Jungkook was asleep. Jungkook couldn’t put the two versions of them together.
The only thing that seemed to prove the memories were real was the pitying looks the six of them gave. Though with the context behind the gazes, Jungkook was left wondering if maybe the guys are only doing this because Jungkook is their soulmate and not because they actually like him.
Jungkook didn’t like entertaining those types of thoughts though. Based on his memories, those types of thoughts are what brought him to wandering the streets of Seoul in winter with no memories.
At one point, Jungkook just decided to accept the affection his soulmates were finally showing him. Even if the affection was fabricated, Jungkook could pretend it was real. He soaked in the affection he was unconsciously looking for all his life.
Those weeks were the best. As he grew stronger, getting over his frostbite and starvation, he grew more active. He was finally able to play games with Taehyung and Jimin. He was able to watch as Jin cooked, and when he begged in just the right way, he was even allowed to ‘help’ Jin with chopping vegetables. He was even given the password to Yoongi’s studio in case he ever felt lonely and couldn’t find Yoongi because he was working.
The attention made him glow. He was laughing more and smiling more. He basked in the joy he was finally experiencing after having walked the lonely path that being a solo artist made for him. Finally, he had someone to lean on. He had six people to lean on.
Though sometimes he would feel like he was walking on eggshells, waiting for the jig to end. When it didn’t, and instead he was shoved into the warm embrace of Hoseok, he would let himself settle until it happened again. But that was fine, because there was always someone there to pick up the pieces.
It didn’t seem like any of them noticed that his memories came back. Jungkook wasn’t exactly sure what they thought his frequent panic attacks were for, but they definitely didn’t think it was because Jungkook remembered how they coldly rejected him. If anything, they seemed to think he was just having nightmares that were haunting him even during the day.
Maybe Jungkook should have told them, but he didn’t want to. His worries were too big, maybe even irrational. What if they kicked him out once they realized he remembered and can now live his solo life like before?
That’s right. What if they were only being nice because Jungkook physically could not live without remembering anything? What if what if what if what if
“Oh, you’re okay baby. Just breathe with me. That’s right, follow my breathe.” A kind voice whispered in his ears. A hand was holding his, bringing it to the speaker’s chest seemingly to help Jungkook figure out how to breathe again.
When Jungkook managed to get enough oxygen, he felt the warmth of another person on his back, sandwiching him against the speaker which he realized was Hoseok. The feeling of warm lean muscles and a build that was thin and lithe if a bit small. Ah, Jimin was the culprit.
Jungkook felt himself relax against Jimin, his head falling back onto the boy’s shoulder. The action seemed to make Jimin cradle his body closer.
“I got him. Should we move him to the bed?” Jimin’s reassuring voice filtered through the waves of sound in Jungkook’s ears.
“Yea, that might be best. We should probably get Taehyung too. Give him some extra cuddles. He seems to really like that.”
Jimin moves to pick Jungkook up, which he is easily able to do. He’s so strong.
“Thanks bun. I try to be strong so that I can carry you around.”
Yes, if Jungkook could be carried around like this every second of every day, then maybe he could consider himself to be in heaven. Maybe he is already in heaven. Why else would his soulmates like him back?
“Oh baby. Don’t say that. We would love every form of you. You’re the light in the hole we’re trapped in. Don’t say that about yourself.”
If they loved every form of him then why would they reject him in the first place.
“Wh-What did you say?” The shock in Jimin’s voice made Jungkook come to himself quicker. Oh. He was speaking out loud.
They’re gonna know. They’re gonna know. They’re gonna know. They’re gonna know. THEY’RE GONNA KNOW.
“Bun, you’re okay. Come back to us. Hoseok, help!”
Suddenly Jungkook was back on the ground, cradled between the two men yet again. Sweet nothings were being said about how perfect he was and how sorry they were. Everything felt syrupy, maybe from the lack of oxygen. Maybe it would be better to just let go. Yea, let go. And that’s what he did.
The black abyss greeted Jungkook like an old friend. And maybe it was his only real friend. Jungkook could be himself here. If only it wasn’t so cold. It is so much nicer to be cuddled against one of the boys then to be here. Well, there were good sides and bad sides to everything, Jungkook supposed.
“Why won’t he wake up? We need to talk to him.” The warbly voice of Taehyung leaked into Jungkook’s consciousness.
“Let him rest. He had two panic attacks. We shouldn’t expect him to wake up for another couple hours. They take a lot out of a person.” Hoseok.
“Just cuddle him more and he will wake up in due time.” Jin.
“Will cuddles really make him wake up faster?” The hope in Taehyung's voice was palpable.
“We can always try.” Jimin’s voice chimed in.
“Yoongi, are you seriously producing right now?”
“Yes, Jin. Because when he wakes up, he’s going to want to listen to a new song of mine. You know how happy he gets when he listens to something I just finished.”
“At this point, Yoongi only produces for Kookie.” Jimin teases.
“Oh, don’t tell me you aren’t just as gone for him.”
“Okay, fair.”
“Should we all really be in here? What if we overwhelm him when he wakes up?” Namjoon’s worried voice interrupts.
“Are you volunteering? Cause I don’t think any of us are leaving this room until we see those doe-like eyes open again.” Taehyung’s voice shoots back.
Then there was silence. Enough for Jungkook to drift off once again.