Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

John Dory kept his hand on the steering wheel and his eyes on the road as he raced towards his Grandmother’s house. He pointedly didn’t look at anything but the road. He ignored the stopped line of cars on the other side of the divider, he ignored the broken glass and bloodstains, he ignored the bodies that lay littered on the road and he ignored the bodies that walked around. He tuned it all out, all that mattered right now was that he got home to his Grandma and Branch.

He didn’t even know what had happened. It was like the world had gone crazy overnight. If he hadn’t seen it with his own eyes he wouldn’t believe it.

He shuddered while remembering what he’d seen. He tried to forget the way that whatever those…things…were had torn people apart with their teeth. They were people. Or at least they had been. He’d heard things from others on the road, he’d heard that people got sick and started attacking other people. It started in the cities is what he heard and from there it had spread to being everywhere.

He didn’t know what was happening, and it didn’t seem like anyone did. So he listened to the radio, looking for any kind of answer to the questions that rattled around in his head. So far there was very little. The government didn’t know what had started this thing, all they knew was that people had started going crazy and eating each other which he had already figured out on his own by witnessing it firsthand. The police had no answers and no treatment. He didn’t even know if there was a treatment. If these people really were sick then there had to be some kind of cure. But John hadn’t heard anything about one. The only thing the government station kept repeating was to stay in place. Don’t leave your home. Stay away from the population centers, and so on. It was wholly unhelpful. John didn’t have a home to stay in and besides, he needed to check on Branch and Grandma. He’d been away too long. He didn’t even remember the last time he’d been home. He came back for Branch’s birthday hadn’t he? But even then that was 6 months ago. He knew that his brothers didn’t like his lifestyle of living on the road but it worked for him.

Until it didn’t. Until some worldwide pandemic started while he was states away from home. Until he couldn’t contact his little brothers and make sure they were safe.

The broadcasts had him worried. He flipped through stations, the government sanctioned one was little help, it was just the same message on a loop. Stay home. Don’t engage. Stay out of cities. He needed more than that. After a bit of flipping he found another, much more amateur station that gave him some actual facts. Whoever was broadcasting had assistants taking calls, this station was gathering information from across the country and broadcasting it live.

They listed off cities that had “fallen”. It took John a while to understand what that meant. Once he figured it out he felt sick. “Fallen” was the term used for a city that was overrun by the infected. John listened, feeling the pit in his stomach grow the more he heard. The list went on and on. So many places were overrun. There were two specific locations he was listening for. Vibe City and Vacay Island. The places his brothers lived. He’d tried to call all of them but the lines were busy. It didn’t help to ease John’s worries. He figured he’d find Branch and then try to find the rest of them, he just had to focus on this one thing first. Clay had Viva in vibe city and he was smart. He’d stay indoors and hidden. And Floyd only lived an hour from Bruce just outside of Vacay Island, he was sure that the two of them were together right now. He needed to believe that they were all ok. He’d go and get Branch and then keep calling until he could reach them.

The drive was long and after a while it became easier to ignore the things John saw by the side of the road. The infected weren’t that fast anyway, he could just swerve around them and keep going. Gas stations were easy enough, there was no one there to man them and the few times he saw an infected he hopped back in his car before they could reach him.

He still wasn’t sure what was wrong with them. The government broadcast was acting like they were just sick but it was like they had lost all humanity. John just hoped that a cure could be found, although judging by the state of some of the people he saw he doubted a cure could help them. He wasn’t even sure that whatever this was could be cured by something as simple as a vaccine. Some of these people were missing limbs, some were eaten down to the point that they were hardly more than bones and yet they were still moving. If not for the fact that they were moving around on their own John would think that they were corpses. No, this was something more than just a sickness. A sickness couldn’t keep a dead body alive like this.

That thought was one that the radio host had echoed. As the hours ticked by the man before more frantic, the list of cities that had fallen grew. John didn’t hear the names of his brother’s homes and he hoped that it would stay that way. The host gave him one more thing, an answer about what to do if he ran into one of the things.

“Some of you callers have told me this and I think that it’s time I shared it. In any possible case avoid engaging with the infected, it appears that getting bit by one is enough to make you sick with whatever it is that they have. I don’t know if that’s the only way to get sick. It doesn’t appear to be airborne, a doctor who called in said that it seemed to be transmitted through fluids, a bite is the most streamlined way to spread it and considering that the sick will try to take a bite out of you we’re all in danger. So, avoid contact whenever you can. But in cases that you can’t, destroy the head. According to my sources that’s the only way. These people can’t feel pain, they’ll keep moving without limbs and a shot to the chest won’t even slow them down. The only way to stop them is to go for the head.” The man stopped and took a shuddering breath. “We don’t even know if these people are alive anymore. I just don’t know. I’ll stay on air as long as I can. Call in if you have news about the state of any city or how to fight these things. Don’t call in to ask about someone. Our lines are full with people calling for their family. I’m sorry. We just can’t find anyone. We can’t do much besides stay on air.” With that he’d gone back to his earlier listing of safe places and cities that were gone. John listened, it seemed that there were some places that were set up to shelter those who were able to escape the cities. John wondered if his brothers had ended up somewhere like that. He would have to try and get into contact with them later. Once he got to Branch and Grandma of course. Rhonda kept rattling on towards the house. John was only a few hours away now. Night was falling but he could drive through it. He had to. He didn’t want to think of Branch and Grandma on their own for any longer.

It was just the two of them now that all of the brothers had moved out. If they had to fight…John didn’t want to think about that. Branch was only 10 and Grandma had trouble moving due to her arthritis. He had to take a deep breath to calm himself. He would get to them. And then from there they would figure out how to get to the rest of their family. And from there…well John hadn’t thought that far ahead. He just had to take things one step at a time.

He drove through the night and by the time the next morning came he was getting closer. He was so on edge that he didn’t even notice how tired he had become. It was hard to ignore with the way that his nerves were running wild. The things he had seen on the road were enough to have him speeding up even more. He was already going well over the speed limit, Rhonda was being pushed to her limits but she was reliable. She’d been his home and vehicle ever since he’d left his grandma’s house after he turned 20 and he knew she could get him back. Besides, he highly doubted there were any police left to pull him over. In fact, he hardly saw anyone living. Somewhere overnight that’s the term he had taken to using. The state of the things walking around were not the state of someone who was alive. They were dead. They had to be. He didn’t know what that meant, he didn’t know how they were still up and moving around but he knew that they couldn’t be alive. No living person could be walking around with all their organs spilling out.

The things he’d seen were enough to shake him and he hoped that his grandma’s village had been spared from this destruction. The things that the infected had done were enough to make him sick. And worse, he wasn’t even sure that everything he saw had been done by the infected. The destruction to some of the cars he had to pull around looked like it had to have been done by someone living. John didn’t want to think about what that meant. He knew that people got mean in difficult times but he hadn’t expected it to happen this quickly.

By the time he pulled into the driveway of his grandmother’s house he was shaking. Her car was in the driveway which was a relief. At least he knew that they hadn’t left. He was going to open the door and they’d be right there waiting for him. He pulled out his key and unlocked the door, calling out to them as he did.

“Grandma? Branch? It’s JD, are you guys alright?” there’s no response which doesn't help his nerves. Where are they? Had he been too late? “Branch? Buddy can you come out to me?” He calls out for his little brother. He has to be here. Maybe he’s just hiding. He’s probably scared, he doesn’t know how much about this his little brother knows but he’s sure that it’s scary for a kid. He walks through the house, freezing when he reaches the kitchen.

There’s blood everywhere. Things are knocked off the counter and a spray of blood crosses the cabinets. John feels sick as he sees it. He tries to rationalize it away, maybe it wasn’t his grandma or Branch’s blood. Deep down he knows that he’s wrong. He knows that something had happened and he has a sinking feeling that he knows what it was that happened. Someone was attacked here. The clotted pool of blood on the floor proved to him that whoever was attacked was in bad shape. He eyes the floor, noticing two different sets of footprints that track the blood across the floor. There’s a larger pair that John recognizes as his grandma’s house slippers and a smaller pair that he knows are Branch. His heart is pounding. They can’t be gone. They can’t. He can’t have been too late.

“Branch! Grandma!” He calls out louder. His breaths speed up and all he hears is his own heartbeat in his ears. “Anyone! Please!” He begs the two of them to come out of wherever it is that they’re hiding. He begs the universe to give them back. He begs his Grandma and brother to still be alive.

He stares at the kitchen for a moment more, there’s so much blood. Whoever’s blood it is…he doubts they could have survived that. He’s broken from his thoughts as he hears someone moving behind him. He perks up a little as he whips around, expecting to see one of his family members behind him. He does, but not the way that he’d been hoping. His grandma is there, shambling towards him. It’s all wrong though. Her housedress is covered in sprays of blood and her eyes are unfocused as she looks at John and reaches out to him with clawed hands. All he can focus on is her neck, more specifically the way that it has been torn out. It’s like her throat was bitten out by a wild animal. No, not an animal. A person. He’s already getting a sick understanding of what happened.

“Grandma?” He questions. His voice is small. It’s not her. It can’t be her. He knows that, he knows that she couldn’t have survived that damage to her neck but at the same time it’s her. It’s his grandma, it’s the woman who raised him. And right now she’s trying to eat him. She doesn’t answer him, he hadn’t expected her to. She just growls like an animal. It’s all wrong. His grandma isn’t like this. She’s a sweet and kind lady, she wouldn’t try to hurt him. But this isn’t his grandma anymore.

John backs up, trying to get away from her. If she’s like this then what about Branch? Is he gone too? John’s heart is racing in his chest. He’s seen so many infected during his drive but that had all been through the windshield of his van. Now there’s no buffer, and to make it all worse it’s someone he loves. He backs up further, only to slip on something on the floor and tumble backwards. He feels sick when he realizes that he’d slipped on a pool of congealed blood. His grandma doesn’t slow down, she keeps approaching and eventually John runs out of space to back up. He’s frozen in place. All he can do is look at his grandma, what’s left of her at least. She’s going to attack him. She’ll eat him and then he’ll turn into whatever it is that she is. One question keeps rattling around in his head.

Where is Branch?

His grandma falls clumsily to her knees and then she’s on John Dory. Her teeth comp at him and her hands claw at his coat. She’s stronger than he’d expected for an old woman. John is able to hold her back but what now? He recalled the broadcast, it had warned that avoiding the sick was the best bet but John had already failed on that front.

Grandma Rosie kept clawing at him and John struggled to hold her off. All he can do is look into her eyes as she tries to kill him. They’re empty. She’s not seeing him. He knew that his grandma wasn’t in there anymore but that only cements the idea in his mind. If his grandma was still in there she wouldn’t attack him like this, she’d never try to hurt any of them. His grandma was dead. This was just her body.

“Johnny!” A small voice calls out for him. John falters, he tears his eyes away from his grandma and sees Branch standing in the doorway to the kitchen. He feels something break in him then, he gains more resolve as he sees his little brother standing there, still alive. Branch is alive. Branch needs him. He needs to keep Branch safe. “Something’s wrong with Grandma,” Branch says, watching the scene with horror.

“I know Buddy.” John struggles to throw Rosie off of himself. She won’t move and his arms are getting tired of holding her off. He’s not sure how much longer he can do it. He struggles and is able to eventually throw her off of himself enough to get up and run away. He grabs Branch’s hand and drags him through the halls to leave through the back door, there’s more blood on the porch and John wants to question where it’s from but he’s still very worried about the current problem. His grandma.

“Grandma’s sick Johnny, we need to get her to the hospital” Branch cries out to him.

“Branch, buddy, the hospitals are full. There are a lot of people sick like grandma.” John explains. He doesn’t feel the need to say that the broadcast he’d heard said that the hospitals were some of the first places to fall. Too many sick people who had turned had left them overrun with infected. John tries to drag Branch to Rhonda, he can hear their grandma following them the whole time. She growls as she follows them. John doesn’t want to just leave her here but he and Branch aren’t safe here with her.

“Where are we going?” Branch asks, pulling back on John’s arm. “We can’t leave Grandma.”

“Grandma is sick. She’ll hurt us if we stay.” Branch digs his feet into the ground, stopping them.

“We can’t leave. She’s going to get better.” Branch protests. “She won’t hurt us.”

“Branch. She’s gone. That’s not grandma anymore.” John insists. Branch starts to pull away. John panics, they need to get out of here. He goes to scoop Branch up but the kid evades him and starts running back to their grandma. “Branch! Stop!” John calls out to him but the kid doesn’t listen. He gets dangerously close to their grandma.

“She’s just sick Johnny!” Branch insists once more. “She’ll get better.”

She won’t. John knows that she won’t. And if Branch gets any closer she’ll infect him too. She’s caught up to them now and she’s reaching for Branch. The kid doesn’t know enough to see that he’s in danger. John knows. He’s seen the aftermath of this scene before. He’s already lost his grandma and he’s not going to lose his brother too. Two things happen at the same time. His grandma grabs onto Branch and tries to pull him to her mouth to take a bite, at the same time John’s brain hones onto one mission; keeping Branch safe. He searches for a weapon and sees a hammer laying on the outdoor table, it’s probably leftover from some project Branch had been working on but John’s going to use it for a whole other purpose. He grabs it with both hands and keeps what he’d heard on the radio in mind as he swings it towards his grandma.

Branch screams as John brings the hammer down again and again until the woman goes still. John and Branch are both covered in blood by the time that the whole debacle is done. John can’t look at his grandma. He can’t look at the thing that he’d just done. He had to do it. She was going to hurt Branch. He had to.

Still, looking at the sight of his grandma’s corpse breaks something inside of him. He can’t handle the sight anymore. He pulls away and vomits. She’s dead. She’s really dead. She was dead before but this makes it so much more real. John had just bashed her head in. And Branch had seen the whole thing. The kid is sobbing, repeating the same statement over and over.

“You killed her. She would have gotten better but you killed her.”

John can’t help but feel like Branch is right. He falls to his knees, next to his grandma’s body and his sobbing younger brother. The two of them are covered in her blood and the gore covered hammer is still in his hands. He should move. He should get to work on keeping Branch safe. But right now there is only one thing that he can think to do.

He sobs, his own cries joining Branch’s as he does. He’s scared. He doesn’t know what’s going on but this experience has only proved to him that he is not at all prepared to handle anything in this new world.

Chapter Text

John was in a daze as he ushered Branch back into the house. He pointedly avoided looking at the blood in the kitchen. He didn’t want to think about his grandma and what he’d just done. She was still out in the yard where he’d left her after she fell. Branch fights his grip, the kid is still sobbing, crying about how John killed their grandmother. It hurts. That’s how Branch sees things isn’t it? He sees John as a murderer who just killed their grandma. John tries to reassure himself, he tries to reason that it wasn’t their grandma anymore.

He’s not so sure that he believes that himself.

By the time he gets himself and Branch safe and locked away in the house, John’s tears have dried and he’s left with a pit in his chest. He knows that the thing he killed wasn’t his grandma anymore, but it had been her once. She was already dead but he couldn’t get the image of his own arm swinging a hammer down on his own grandmother out of his mind. She was dead before he got here but that was his grandmother. That was the woman who raised him. And now she’s gone. John hadn’t been fast enough to protect her. She died while he wasn’t there to protect her and there is nothing that he can do to change that. But he could still protect Branch.

The two of them are still covered in blood and gore from grandma, almost mechanically John helps Branch strip off his bloody clothes and pushes him into the bathroom telling him to shower. As soon as the kid is busy washing off he gets to work. First he strips off his own bloody clothes and finds a set that he’d left behind in the house at some point. They hardly fit him but he makes it work. All his other things are in Rhonda and he really doesn’t feel like leaving Branch alone in the house again. As he moves through the place he’d grown up he gets reminder after reminder that it really has been a long time since he’s been home.

There’s blood dried to his skin and he feels grimy and sticky all over. Once Branch is out of the shower he’ll have to take one for himself. He has no idea how long the power and water is going to stay on. He’s already heard on the radio station that some places have lost power and water. He doesn’t let himself think about that. He doesn’t let himself think about anything but survival. If he stops to think he’s going to break down. He leaves his bloody boots down by the door and walks through the house. He finds an old backpack that Clay or Floyd used in high school for himself and empties out Branch’s little school backpack. He gathers up a change of clothes for Branch and leaves it outside the bathroom door. He can still hear this little brother crying in the shower. He can’t imagine how hard this is for him. Branch just saw his older brother kill their grandma, at least that’s how it appeared to his eyes. He probably doesn’t even know what’s going on. John feels sick to think of how scared his little brother probably was before he’d gotten there. How long had their grandma been dead? How long had Branch been hiding here on his own? He didn’t know.

He searched over the house, letting out a relieved breath when he found that it was empty. He hadn’t heard anyone else inside but a part of him was scared that there was another zombie hiding away waiting to jump out at them. His grandma had to have been attacked by one in order to be turned like that. But the house is empty. Once his search is done he goes through the house, gathering up things that he thought they could use. Bottled water, first aid supplies, warm clothes for Branch, cash, batteries, and a small battery powered radio. John tunes it to the same channel he’d been listening to before. Hearing the familiar voice of the broadcaster fills him with a sense of relief. He listens to it as he puts his boots back on and ventures into the blood stained kitchen. There’s not much food there but he gathers what he can and brings it out to the living room. He doesn’t want Branch going back in there and he can’t stand the sight of the place himself. He sorts it into two piles, fresh food that’s more likely to go bad and canned food that’ll last longer. It looked like he and Branch would be having sandwiches and fruit for dinner to use up the perishables. He could cook something on the stove but he didn’t want to be in that kitchen for a moment longer than necessary.

Eventually he hears the shower stop and then Branch reappears at the top of the stairs. “What are you doing?” He asks as he watches John hesitantly.

“Gathering up things that we might need.” John says. He turns the volume on the radio down. Branch doesn’t need to hear that. It’ll scare him more than he already is.

“Are we leaving?” Branch asks.

John shrugs. He doesn’t know. Would it be safer to leave? Once again he doesn’t know. He doesn’t know anything. For all he knows the military will get this under control tomorrow. Or maybe they never will. He wishes he had an answer for Branch but he just doesn’t. “We might have to.”

“I’m not leaving.” Branch asserts. “Floyd is going to come back. We can’t leave before he gets here.” John highly doubts that Floyd is on his way here. He’s starting to worry about the safety of all of his brothers. The phone lines are still down and he hasn’t been able to reach any of them. The broadcaster hasn’t mentioned anything about Vibe City or Vacay island yet and he’s holding onto the hope that whatever is happening somehow spared his brothers homes. He ignores that fact that he’d just across the country and whatever this was had been everywhere.

“We’re not leaving yet.” John’s voice is flat and he sees Branch flinch at his tone. He doesn’t mean to sound so detached, but it’s like he’s moving on autopilot. He’s still on the verge of shutting down from everything. “But we might have to.”

“I won’t leave. You can but I’m staying.” Branch crosses his arms. John doesn’t bother to argue with him. That’s a fight he’ll have if and when he needs to. Instead he stands up and starts up the stairs. Branch backs away from him, looking at John with fear as he does. It makes him pause. Branch thought that he’d just killed their caretaker. Branch thought that he was a murderer. It breaks his heart.

He kneels down, lowering his voice to talk to the kid, “Branch. Grandma was sick. You know that right?”

His brother doesn’t make eye contact. “She could have gotten better. We could have gotten her medicine to get better.”

John finishes going up the steps and kneels down in front of Branch. “Branch, I think that it’s time I told you about what’s going on. Whatever it is that happened to Grandma is happening all over the world. Lots of people are sick like that out there and so far no one knows how it happened or how to cure it. I have my own theory.”

“What is it?” Branch still doesn’t look at him.

“I don’t think that the people who are sick aren’t alive anymore. Some of the people I saw on the road on my way here…well they couldn’t still be alive with those kinds of injuries. Grandma too, she couldn’t have lived through that kind of injury.” Branch still doesn’t make eye contact but fresh tears slipped down his cheeks.

“You’re not a doctor. You don’t know that.” He protests. “She was still moving and breathing. She couldn’t have done that if she was dead.”

“Fine.” John stands up. He doesn’t think that he can convince Branch right now and if he has to have blood on his skin any longer he thinks that he’s going to shut down. “I need to shower. There’s food downstairs, go ahead and eat your fill. Don’t open the door for anyone, if someone comes by get me. And don’t leave the house, there might be more sick people out there. When I’m out of the shower you can go ahead and tell me what happened.” Branch just nods and John retreats to the bathroom. He scrubs the blood off of his skin until the water runs cold and even then he stays under. He can still feel the sticky feeling of his grandmother’s blood on his skin no matter how much he tries to scrub it off. He begins to cry as he thinks of her again.

He misses her so much. She was the one that raised him and all of his brothers, she was the one who had always been there for him. She was the only one who didn’t treat him like a failure. All of his other brothers resented him from running away from their family, but his grandma had never hated him for it. She always reminded him that he had a place to come back to if he needed it. He loved her. And he’d been the one to put her down. She was still out there in the yard. It felt wrong. He would have to bury her later. He didn’t want her out there in the yard any longer. She deserved a better funeral than any that he could give her, but he had to do something.

Eventually he couldn’t hide away in the shower any longer. He shut off the water and dressed himself in yet another set of clean clothes before he left the bathroom. He heard the sound of the radio as he left the bathroom and found Branch listening to it as he went down the stairs.

“Don’t listen to that Branch.” He chides. Branch ignores John and turns up the volume.

“He says that the cities are all overrun.” Branch says. His voice sounds so cold and detached, John wonders if he’s feeling the same way. So scared that he’s going numb. “Do you think that Floyd and Clay are ok?”

“He hasn’t said anything about Vacay Island and Vibe City.” John answers. “I’ve been listening.”

Branch nods. “He says that hitting the sick people in the head is the only way to stop them. That they don’t feel pain anymore.”

“I know.” John feels sick as he thinks of his own actions. “What happened to Grandma, Branch?”

Branch shuts down as he hears the words. His tears return. “It was my fault. She got sick because of me.”

John panics, he hadn’t been expecting this. Quickly he rubbed a hand down the kids back and tried to soothe him. “Branch, I’m sure that’s not true.”

“It is!” Branch shouts. “Mr. Johnson was in the street and I went to see if he needed help. Sometimes he forgets where he is and I thought that’s what was happening. He was being really weird and wasn’t talking to me but I thought that maybe he was just confused. I walked right up to him and then he grabbed my arm and started trying to bite me! Grandma saw the whole thing and she came over to get him away but he bit her. He bit her in the neck really bad.” Branch sniffles. “I kicked him and he fell over and then Grandma and I came inside to the kitchen but she was bleeding really bad. I tried to call 911 but no one picked up. Grandma just kept bleeding and eventually she stopped moving. I thought that she was dead but then she got back up and she…she was like Mr. Johnson. She tried to bite me so I ran away and hid in the old treehouse until you got here. I didn’t know what was wrong with her or Mr. Johnson or any of the other people. It’s been 3 days since then.” He’s crying hard by the time that he’s done with his explanation and John quickly pulls his baby brother into his chest. His heart breaks for the kid. He was scared and confused. He’d watched his own grandmother die and turn into something else. And then he’d watched his oldest brother come back and kill her again. “It’s my fault!” He cries. “I got Grandma killed twice.”

“That is not true.” John assures him. “You had no way of knowing what was wrong with Mr. Johnson. You tried to help him and that is not a bad thing.”

“But that’s how Grandma got sick!” Branch cries. “She got sick from the bite, that’s what the radio says happens. And she only got bit because she was protecting me!”

“She protected you because she loved you. She would do that for any of us. She loved you Branch, of course she wanted to protect you. None of this was your fault.” John kisses the boy's forehead and pulls away. “I need you to know that. This wasn’t your fault.”

“She’s really gone, isn’t she?” Branch asks with a sniffle. “She’s not going to come back.”

John nods. “She is. And I’m so sorry. I’m going to bury her. It feels wrong to just leave her out there. You said you were staying in the treehouse? Did you see anyone else who was sick like she was?”

“Mr. Johnson is still walking around and so are his son and his son’s wife.” Branch said. “A lot of people left, I saw their cars driving away. I haven’t seen anyone who wasn’t sick in days.”

“How many sick people did you see?” The area his grandma lived in wasn't very big so hopefully it wouldn’t be too overrun. The broadcast said that smaller areas were safer. Less people living there meant less infected walking around.

“I think 6.” Branch said. “Why?”

“I’m going to bury grandma, it’s not right to leave her out there like that.” John explained. “I’m just worried about being ambushed again. I’m going to need you to watch through the upstairs window for me ok? You can call out to me if you see anything.”

“I want to be out there too!” Branch protests.

John shakes his head. “You can come out and help me bury her but digging the grave is going to take some time and it’s not safe for both of us to be out there. I need you to be my lookout.” Branch looks apprehensive but he stops arguing. He still doesn’t look John in the eye. John wonders if Branch hates him. He doesn’t think that the kid has accepted that their grandma was dead before John killed her again. He’s pretty sure that Branch still thinks that John’s a murderer. He doesn’t know what to do to change that. So instead he focuses on laying their grandma to rest.

Digging the grave takes time. John found a shovel in the shed, he’s never really dug a grave before. It’s harder than he expected. He’d taken a sheet from Grandma’s bed to cover her up. He couldn’t bear to see her laying there with her head caved in where he’d struck her with the hammer. Branch watches from the window. Luckily no other infected appeared to chase him off. It was getting dark by the time the grave was done and John went to go and bring Branch out for the ceremony. He sets his grandma in the grave and then stands there at a loss for words.

He’s been to a few funerals before. Usually people say things at funerals, he should give some kind of eulogy but he can’t find the words.

He clears his throat and then tries to find the right words to honor the life of the woman who had done so much for him. “Grandma Rosiepuff, you were the most amazing woman that I knew. You took care of all of us when no one else would. You did so much for me and you never gave up on me even when everyone else did. I can never thank you enough for that.” He feels tears building up again and hurries through the rest. “You didn’t deserve this and I’m so sorry.” He can’t cry in front of Branch. He needs to stay strong for Branch.

Silently they fill in the hole. It feels wrong, Grandma deserved a better ceremony than this, but this is the best that he could do for her.

The brothers retreated back inside the house after the makeshift funeral. Night has fallen and John makes his little brother go to bed. Once he’s safely in his room John turns the radio back on. The whole time he listens he prays that he won’t hear the two locations he’d been listening for.

Of course his luck didn’t hold.

“We’ve just gotten word, more cities have fallen.” John listens, his heart sinking as he hears the two locations. “Vibe City and Vacay Island are gone.”

He sobs once again now that Branch is asleep. They’re gone. They’re really gone. His little brother’s, Bruce’s family. All of them were gone. Everything he knew was gone. The broadcaster had stopped theorizing that the government would sort out this whole mess. John wasn’t so sure that they could. After all the things that he’d seen he didn’t know if there was any way for things to go back to normal.

Chapter Text

All good things come to an end. It was something that John had known since he was young. People left, families fell apart, dreams crashed out on you. Good things didn’t tend to last, or at least they didn’t for him. Still, he wanted this good thing to last. He wanted Grandma’s house to remain the safe haven it had always been for him. He wanted that for Branch.

But it couldn’t last forever. In the end, they lasted a month in Grandma’s house. The power went out at some point a few days after John got there, but the water still ran and they had bottles to drink if it ever stopped. John moved an old folding camp bed to Branch’s room and he slept there next to him each night. Branch was getting frequent nightmares. He didn’t say what they were about, but he didn’t have to. John was getting them too. He dreamed that he’d been too late, that he’d come home to find Branch and Grandma both turned. He dreamed of everyone he knew torn apart by the teeth of the infected. He dreamed about his other brothers, of Bruce and his family, of Clay and Viva, of Floyd, he dreamed of all of them dead. He never told Branch about those dreams. He didn’t want to worry the kid.

Strangely enough, things were calm. Or as calm as they could be considering the situation. It was eerily quiet on the street. He hadn’t noticed just how many little sounds of everyday life there were. And now there was none, no neighbors walking their dogs, no cars driving past, no mail delivery. The world was still and some days it felt like he and Branch were the only ones still alive. He knew that wasn’t the case. There had to be other survivors out there somewhere. But here it was just them. Two people left out of a whole town. It still didn’t feel real.

John still hasn’t told Branch about what he’d heard on the radio, about Vibe city and Vacay Island falling. He didn’t know how to have that conversation with a child. He had no proof that their brothers were dead, he didn’t want to think that their brothers were dead. But he also couldn’t keep lying to Branch and telling him that they were coming here. Branch was still convinced that Floyd would be there soon based on the promise that he’d made the last time they’d talked. But that was a promise made back when the world made sense and all Floyd had to worry about was his classes and his music. Truth be told, John wasn’t convinced that Floyd was even still out there. He’s not convinced that any of his brothers are. They could be, he can’t discount that fact. But statistically he knows that it’s unlikely. If Floyd was on his way to them he would be there by now. It’s been a month and he only lived 3 hours away. John has tried to break it to Branch that their brothers will likely come home but the kid won’t accept it.

“Floyd promised that he’d come home soon. He only had a week left of school before he went on break and then he was going to come back and stay with us. He promised.” Branch insists. It’s not their first time having this argument. Branch wholeheartedly believes that Floyd is out there on his way to them and won’t accept anything else.

John doesn’t have the heart to point out that Floyd had made that promise before. He made that promise before the world had turned into a real life horror movie. Floyd made that promise before the dead had come back to life. As gently as he tried to break that news, Branch was not receptive. Maybe it was kinder to let Branch believe that the rest of their brothers were out there and that everything was going to go back to the way that it was before. He didn’t know what to do, he got the feeling that he was somehow doing everything wrong when it came to Branch.

He was no good at being reassuring. And to make it all worse, Branch still wouldn’t look him in the eye and hardly wanted to talk to him. Every instruction John gave was met with arguing. Branch hadn’t said it but John was pretty sure he still thought that John had killed their grandma. He just didn’t know what to do. He was the worst brother to be taking care of Branch. Bruce was already a father himself, Clay was smart and resourceful and Floyd was comforting and reassuring. Any of them would have been a better fit. But John was the brother Branch was stuck with.

It hadn’t always been like this. When Branch was little John helped take care of him. He’d been 16 when Branch was born and had been old enough to care for him. He’d never admitted it but that was part of what spurred on his decision to leave. He’d never faulted Branch for it, but once he’d turned 2o and realized that his life was going nowhere he cracked. He wasn’t smart like his brothers, he didn’t have any ambitions to go to school or start a family. He didn’t have much going for him at all. So he’d cut and run. Branch had been 4 the last time he’d lived here full time and he hadn’t exactly been the most present in his life in the 6 years since then. Despite John’s best attempts at keeping contact, Branch hardly knew him. At least not the way that he knew the rest of their brothers. So no, John didn’t feel well equipped for this at all. But he knew he had to suck it up and pull it together. He was the only one here to take care of Branch. He couldn’t fall apart while his baby brother needed him.

So he got to work making sure they were safe. It was hard going, they were running out of food and running very low on luck. John was making sure that Branch had enough to eat and had even cut his own portions to make sure that the kid had enough but despite all of that they were running low. John was starting to think that maybe it was time to leave. A part of him had been hoping that the government would sort things out and life would return to normal but that hadn’t happened and he wasn’t sure that it ever would at this point.

For right now they were safe but the longer that things went on, the more infected that John started to see walking around. At first there were the familiar ones, their grandma’s old Poker friend, Mr. Johnson and his son and daughter-in-law, the teenage girl whose family lived down the street and her father, the middle aged woman that John remembered seeing jogging in the mornings. He didn’t even know all of their names. Then there were the others that he didn’t recognize, he didn’t remember who they used to be. Sometimes he wondered what happened to them and how they turned into whatever it was that they were now. They weren’t alive anymore, he knew that, but still he was scared to face them. It took him an embarrassing amount of time to grow comfortable with fighting them. Or rather, killing them. As much as that term could apply to a reanimated corpse. He wasn’t sure how to refer to it. The infected were already dead, after this long he was sure of it. But each time he swung his hammer down on the head of one it still felt like killing another person. Taking down his Grandma still felt like killing the woman who had raised him.

He didn’t want to fight them, he wasn’t able to run forever. He encountered the teenage girl a week after taking down his grandma. He’d thought about running, that’s what the radio broadcast said was the best bet when he’d first started listening. That was back when the broadcast was still on. John had started to find comfort in the voice of the broadcaster which was why it had been devastating to tune into the station a few days after burying his grandma and only get a prerecorded message.

“We’re off air, I’m sorry. Don’t die.”

With that he’d been cut off from his last view into the world. The other stations were static, the phones were still down and John had no idea what was going on in the rest of the world. It was just him, Branch and this town full of dead people.

That might have been why it was so easy to swing the shovel down on the head of the teenage girl again and again until she stopped moving. It didn’t feel as much like killing her this time. John knew that it wasn’t her anymore. It got easier each time he did it, he put down the girl’s father and the middle aged woman that same week. Then the next he’d taken down Mr. Johnson and his family. He didn’t bury these people, he didn’t have the time. It felt wrong to just leave them out there but he didn’t have the time to devote to digging more graves. Right now he needed to focus on protecting Branch. This need to protect made him do things that he would have never thought to do before. He broke into the houses of the neighbors and took food and supplies, he siphoned gas from the neighbors cars and he cut down any zombies that he found in the houses. There were more dead than he’d realized, it was just that they were shut up in their own houses. John eventually stopped fearing them as much. Once he was able to understand that taking them down before they could group up and become more of a problem he started slicing down any single zombies that he’d seen before they could become more of a problem. Despite this more and more poured into the town and John started to worry that they would be overrun. That was what spurred him on to his current decision, leaving.

“I’m not leaving.” Branch crossed his arms and turned up his nose the same way that he always did when John brought up leaving. “We need to be here when Floyd comes home.”

“Branch, there are more and more zombies every day. We haven’t seen another living person since I got here. And on top of that we’re running out of food, I don’t know how much longer we’re going to be able to stay here and I think it’s time that we should try to find other people out there.” John explained.

“We can. Once Floyd gets back.” It’s the same thing that he said each time that John brought it up. They’ve been having this same argument for a week and John is starting to get fed up with it.

“He’s not coming back.” he finally snaps. If Floyd was coming back he’d be here by now. Maybe he’s still alive. Maybe he’s dead. But either way he’s not coming back.

Branch’s face falls and John instantly regrets his words. Branch wanted to believe that Floyd was still out there looking for him and John had just tried to take that hope away.

“He is.” Branch stands up with tears in his eyes. “You can go if you want, I don’t want you here anyway. I hate you.” he stomps up the stairs and slams the door to his room. John deflates Branch was slowly started to trust him again after the incident with their grandma, but he still treats John differently than he did before the apocalypse. John feels like he’s doing everything wrong.

Who was he to think that he could take care of his kid brother? He was a burnout who lived in his van. He’d skipped town and lost the bonds of friendship with all of his brothers because of it years ago and he’d never even made anything of himself. He could hardly look after himself, he wasn’t prepared to take care of a kid.

But there was no one else to care for Branch. All he had was John Dory.

John buried his head in his hands. They had to leave, maybe John could find one of those safe havens that he’d heard about on the radio back when it still played. It was safe in town right now but things were only getting worse. Next morning he’d have to convince Branch to leave.

He spends that night sleeping on the floor, before he dozes off he packs up anything that they might need out on the road. They had a few days worth of food left for their journey and they would have to hope they’d be able to find more if they ran out. John was scared of what they might run into out there. He still remembers how bad the highways were and that was a month ago. Things would likely have gotten worse since then. Maybe leaving was a mistake. Maybe if they just stayed in place things would sort themselves out.

That wasn’t a chance that John Dory was willing to take. They were running out of food, he’d raided as many homes as he could and gathered up as much gas as he could safely store. If they waited any longer he was worried that he would condemn him and Branch to starve. No, it was better to leave now while they still could. He just hoped Branch could understand.

Branch didn’t want to go. John brought it up again the next morning and Branch once more asserted that he wasn’t leaving.

“Staying here isn’t an option.” John said firmly. Branch glared at him. “We’re running out of food, we haven’t seen anyone else in weeks and we need to leave.”

“Floyd is going to come back. What if he comes back and we’re gone?”

“We’ll leave him a letter in case he comes back.” John had thought this through. He doesn’t think that Floyd is coming back but he knows that Branch is worried about it.

“I don’t want to leave without him.” Branch sniffles. “I miss Floyd. I wish he was here.” John tries to ignore the way that hurts. He wishes Floyd was here too. He wishes that anyone else was here. He doesn’t know how to do this on his own. He’s not a father, and he’s not a very good older brother. He was hardly a part of Branch’s life at all. Of all of his brothers Branch knows John the least and it shows.

“He’ll understand.” John says. It falls flat. He doesn’t know how to comfort Branch. Floyd was always better at consoling the kid than him.

“You think he’s dead don’t you?” Branch asks. “You think he’s one of those things. You think that all of them are.”

John wishes that he’d never said anything. “I don’t know.” he answers honestly. It doesn’t help Branch’s mood.

“But you don’t think that he’s coming back” Branch’s shoulders slump. “Even if he’s not dead you don’t think he’s coming back for me. Even if he promised.”

“I don’t know Branch.” John answers honestly. “Maybe they’re still out there. I don’t know.” They’re probably dead. John knows that they’re probably dead. He hopes that they’re not but he’s growing more concerned about their safety. He still remembers the sinking feeling that he’d gotten when he heard that Vibe City and Vacay Island had fallen. He wasn’t sure that his brothers were alive anymore but the signs pointed to them being gone.

“I still don’t want to leave. This is our home.” Branch argued. “I’m scared.”

“I’ll keep you safe.” John tries to assure him. Or maybe he’s trying to reassure himself. The line between the two isn’t so clear anymore.

“What about the monsters?” Branch was so very scared about the infected. He had only left the house a handful of times to go to the yard and even he’d been with John the whole time. He was scared of being attacked by them like he had the day their grandma had died and John didn’t know to help him. Branch was too small to fight and he didn’t want him to be in danger.

“I’ll take care of them.” John promises. “I know that you don’t like it, and I don’t either. I’m scared too but I think that we need to go and try to find other people. Maybe once things calm down we can come back home.” He doesn’t know if things will ever calm down. He doubts it. He’s starting to think that this is just life now. But Branch doesn’t need to know that. Branch sniffles a little but nods, agreeing to John’s offer. It gives him some relief.

“I’ll go, but only if we can come back once things are better.” Branch offers.

“Ok bud, I like that idea. Now let’s get to work on writing a letter for Floyd and packing up a bag for you so that we can leave today. Reluctantly Branch writes out a letter for Floyd, despite his fears that Floyd is gone John writes him one as well. He mentions that their grandma is dead and that he’s going to watch over Branch. He hopes that his little brother finds the letter but he doubts it’ll happen. Still, it calmed him down to write it out. They loaded up the van, John made sure that Branch packed a jacket. It was going to get cold soon and he wasn’t sure that things would be fixed by then. He wasn’t sure they would ever be fixed. By that afternoon the two of them were loaded up in Rhonda. Branch was quiet as they pulled out of the driveway and their home faded from view, he played with the buttons on the denim vest he had put on over his hoodie. It was too big for him and John recognized it as one of Floyds, it still had all the band patches and pins that his little brother had worked so hard at collecting. Seeing it made John’s heart sink. Floyd loved that vest, John didn’t know why he’d left it behind but he was happy that Branch had it to hold onto. He had a feeling that Branch was going to need to hold onto that memory of Floyd, it’s not like he had much else to hold onto.

They drove away from the town and John kept an eye out for any sign of life. He didn’t find any. All he saw were more of the dead. He was able to avoid them for the most part, there were more than he’d ever thought there could be. Not for the first time John wondered just how many people were still alive. He knew that there had to be others but right now it felt like the two of them were the only ones left in the world. While they drove, he and Branch talked about where to go. Branch wanted to try and find the rest of their brothers but John had to shut that idea down. He wished that they could go and find them but that would mean going into the cities which weren't safe. It hurt to admit that he was powerless.

Instead they decided to stick to side roads and search for any other outcampings of survivors. The highways were still clogged from the outbreak. They didn’t find anyone the first day and had to sleep by the side of the road. That same cycle was repeated for 2 more days before they ran into the first sign of life that either of them had seen in over a month.

If only it were under a better circumstance.

They heard the sound of gunshots and screams when driving through a residential neighborhood. Instantly John Dory was on high alert. It was clear that there were other living people but the gunshots were not a good sign. People wouldn’t shoot a gun unless they had to, either at the infected or worse, at another human. John didn’t like to think about that last part but he’s heard about it on the radio. People were turning against each other, he couldn’t imagine that time had made the situation any better. Next to him Branch looked scared so scared, John didn’t know what else to do aside from hold a finger to his lips to signal to Branch to be quiet. He stopped the car and waited. He didn’t know that he could trust these people just yet.

They didn’t have to wait long, in no time 3 people came sprinting down the road, behind them a group of at least 20 zombies followed. John knows that the way they are running only has more zombies, he should know he’d just passed through there himself. There was no way that the three of them would make it through.

Despite all his better instincts he rolled down the window and called out to them.

“That way is blocked, hop in and I’ll drive through.” The group takes notice of him and for a moment they examine each other.

John surveys the group, there’s 2 men and one woman. One of the men is tall and looks to be a few years older than John, he has braids that reach his shoulders, a goatee and wears a pair of large glasses. The other man looks younger, he has long black hair and wears dark clothes with a beanie pulled low over his eyes. John wouldn’t be surprised if he was still a teenager, he looks younger than Floyd. And then the woman, she has short hair that looks like it used to be dyed red though it has faded. She seems to be the leader as the other two look to her, she makes eye contact with John and he wonders what she sees in him.

Whatever it is she seems to agree that he is a better option than the zombies that are chasing them. She and her friends run up to John and fling open the door to the back of the van. There’s no more car seats for them but they find a seat on the bed and slam the door shut before the zombies reach them. Once they’re inside the group realizes that John’s not alone, they take in the image of the small child who could hardly see over the dashboard.

“Please tell me that you guys have a base around here somewhere.” John pleads as he starts the van and steers towards a narrow alleyway that’s still clear of zombies.

“Maybe we do. But first and more importantly, who the Hell are you guys?”

Chapter Text

John carefully steers Rhonda through the alley, he doesn’t like the way that the zombies creep through after them. They’re slow enough that he’s able to stay ahead but he hates to think of what would happen if they were penned into this alleyway. He just wants to get to this woman’s base and fast. “I’m JD and this is Branch.” John explains, keeping his attention on the road. “Where are you guys staying?”

The woman scoffs. “Like we’re gonna tell you. For all we know you’re another group of bandits.” John can feel irritation fill him. He just went out of his way to help this lady and here she is not wanting to look out for him in return. If he was a bandit why would he help her? If he was looking to kill her doesn’t she think that he would have, I don’t know? Just driven away and let her be eaten? Why go through the effect of helping her and putting his life on the line if he was just going to kill her in the end anyway. He doesn’t say any of that out loud. He’s pretty sure that would only make her trust him less, but he’s thinking.

“We’re not bandits!” Branch protests. “We were at home until a few days ago.”

“You guys just left your home?” The teen asks. The trio exchange looks with each other. John doesn’t know what they’re thinking but he can only hope that they’re going to take pity on the two of them.

John sighs. “Yeah, we had a pretty good stockpile of food and we managed to last about a month at home. There weren’t many zombies around but we ran out of food and decided to go and see if there were other people out there. We’re the only ones who made it out of town.” The other three go quiet before the older man speaks up.

“You might have been better off staying home. Everything is overrun here. We thought that the military would have a safe haven set up but there’s nothing.” His voice is deep and something about it feels familiar to John, though he can’t place where. He’s never met the guy before, never met any of them before. He brushes it off, it’s been a while since he’s talked to someone that isn’t 10 years old. He’s probably just getting used to it again.

“Lownote!” The woman hisses. She glares at John in the rearview mirror. It’s just his luck that the first people he finds don’t want to help them. She doesn’t tell him where they came from but in the minutes they spend driving he learns a few things about their new friends.

The woman is named Barb, the teenager is her cousin Riff and the man is named Lownote Jones. They’ve got a small group of survivors holed up somewhere that Barb doesn’t want to tell JD.

Then there’s how they got to be here right now. They went out looking for supplies earlier, this morning there’d been 4 of them. The screams John and Branch had heard earlier had been the sounds of their friend being torn apart. No wonder the group was so shaken. Despite how relieving it was to have other people around, John knew that they couldn’t do this forever. If Barb wasn’t going to let him into their base he and Branch would have to keep moving.

“Ok, are you guys going to let us in or not? I’m not going to drive around and waste gas forever if you’re just going to ditch us here.” He’s aware that he’s being snippy but something about Barb just sets him off. She’s treating him like some kind of criminal even though he’d saved her life.

“Um, we still don’t trust you.” Barb says, crossing her arms. “We have kids back at base.”

“And I have a kid here. If you’re not going to help me keep him safe then you can get out.” John snaps. “It’s your choice Barb, either you let us in or you get out. Branch is my priority and right now you’re putting him in danger.” Barb glares at him. Just his luck that he’s already made an enemy with the first person he’s met in the apocalypse.

“Johnny.” Branch whines. “If we kick them out the monsters are going to eat them.” In the rearview mirror John sees Riff pale. If he wants into the group he’s going to have to convince Barb’s friends to let him in, and he thinks he knows how. He knows it’s wrong but he’s seen the way that Riff pales at the mention of zombies and being eaten. The kid is clearly scared out of his mind. And if Barb is anything like him she’ll be swayed by her family. Or at least he hopes so.

“If they make me waste all our gas then we’re going to be eaten. I’m sorry guys but I need to put my little brother first. If you’re not going to help us out then you’ve gotta get out of the van.” John says. He doesn’t know if he’ll actually kick them out if they don’t let him in. He might. And he doesn’t like what that says about himself.

“Barb, maybe we should just let them in.” Riff pleads with his cousin. “JD helped us and he has a kid with him.”

“I’m with Riff. They’re not bandits.” Lownote vouches for John. “If they wanted us dead they would have left us by the side of the road. And it’s like Riff said, he’s got a kid with him.”

“We don’t have the resources.” Barb argues. “Newsflash but we’re already running low on food as it is. That’s why we’re on this supply run as it is. JD here might not be a bandit but we don’t have the resources to feed two more people.”

“We’ll find them.” Lownote narrows his eyes at Barb as he argues with her. “It would be good to have another adult around, he’s got a working car and he has a child with him. You can do what you want Barb but we’re all still alive and I’m going to keep it that way. If we let them go off to die then we’re not better than those bandits that you’re so scared of.” He turns to John. “Turn left up ahead, we’re hiding out at an old Motel. Don’t make me regret this.”

“I won’t.” John follows Lownote’s instructions to the motel. Barb glares at him the whole while, still not speaking to him. She’s not happy to have new people joining the group but John is glad that her companions were willing to let him in. He wonders just how bad things had gotten that she was willing to consider leaving him and Branch out on their own. The three of them kept mentioning Bandits, he’ll have to follow up on that later. When Branch isn’t in earshot. He doesn’t want to scare his little brother more than necessary.

They reach the motel and John takes in the scene. It’s an ordinary motel, but the wire fences and pallets that have been put up to block off the entrance is something new. It gives the place a level of security that JD and Branch’s house hadn’t had. There are a few zombies banging at the gates that turn to them when they hear the van approaching. JD’s hands tense on the wheel but before he can move the trio jump out and quickly start to put the zombies down. JD watches them, not stepping out of the van. Barb is good, he’ll give her that. She knocks two zombies down with a single blow each in a matter of seconds using a fireman’s ax. Lownote skillfully takes down a handful of zombies using a long hunting blade. Riff on the other hand seems more uncertain with his baseball bat. It takes him more time to take down the zombies and if John had to guess it seemed like he was scared of them. It makes sense. He seemed young. John wondered just how badly their group was doing that they had to send a teenager out to fight.

He makes a mental note to ask the three of them about how they fight, he’s pretty good with the shovel he’d taken from the shed and the hammer he’d used to take out his own grandma but the other’s fighting styles, especially Barb’s use of a more ranged weapon have him intrigued. Once they’ve cleared out the zombies John decides to leave the car. He knows it was an asshole move to let them handle it on their own but he’s not entirely convinced that he’s welcome here.

“Oh, now he joins us.” Barb snarks. “It’s not like we could have used help or anything.”

“Seems like you handled it fine on your own.” John responds. Barb just scoffs before calling out to someone on the other side of the fence.

“Guys we’re back. Open up before more walkers show up.” With that the fence starts to open. “Drive your van in, if you leave it out here it’ll get stolen.” Barb says. “I’m guessing you guys live in there? Looked pretty homey to me.”

“Yeah?” John walks back to the van.

“Why don’t we keep it that way.” Barb says. “We’ve cleared out some rooms but they’re not great and we’ve still got one more car left that can drive a little faster than your old rattle bucket.” John prickles at the insult but doesn’t fight back. He’s too busy carefully driving his van into the motel. Once he’s parked he leaves, instructing Branch to stay behind for now. He still doesn’t fully trust this new group. Lownote seemed like a decent guy but Barb is still treating him like a threat.

Outside there are two more people, a middle-aged man who eyes John warily and an old man who is currently being checked over by Barb. John feels like he recognizes the first guy from somewhere. John walks over to him and holds out his hand. “I’m JD, I ran into Barb and others on their way here.”

The man’s eyes light up with recognition. “I know who you are, John Dory.” He says, taking the hand and shaking it. John freezes, how did the guy know his whole name? “We haven’t really met, but I know your brother Clay. My daughter was living with him, they went to school together.”

“Peppy.” John breaths. He’s met Viva a few times but had never met her dad. He sees it now, Peppy does look like Clay’s friend Viva. Last that John heard, the two of them were living together in Vibe City. He wonders if Peppy knows anything else. “Have you heard from her?”

Peppy shakes his head sadly. “Not since everything started. What about you?” He seems so hopeful and John wishes he had anything else to tell him.

“Me either. I haven’t heard from Clay, Floyd or Bruce. I heard on the radio that Vibe City and Vacay island have fallen.” Peppy deflates.

“I heard the same.” he sighs. “Poppy is still convinced that Viva is out there.”

“Branch is the same.” John says. And then, “Poppy is here?”

“She’s in the motel, we didn’t know what to expect from newcomers.” Peppy replied. “I’m guessing that’s why you have Branch hiding away.”

John nods. “Where is everyone?” From the way that Barb had been talking he’d been expecting a large group but from what he can see this is it.

“This is everyone.” Peppy says. “We had one more this morning, Barb told me that Megan didn’t make it back.”

John nods. “She wasn’t with them when we ran into each other.”

“She’s not the first we’ve lost.” Peppy answers. “It’s good to have you here John Dory.”

“Kissing up to Peppy?” Barb butts in, crossing her arms as she stares down JD. She still doesn’t trust him. John doesn’t trust her either. He doesn’t know if he can trust someone who was willing to leave a kid out in the wasteland just because they “didn’t have the supplies”.

“We already know each other actually.” Peppy responds to her. “My daughter and his brother are friends.”

“Branch and Poppy?” Barb asks incredulously.

“No, my older daughter. She went to school with one of John’s other brothers.” Peppy says. Something in Barb’s tough expression melts as she looks at them. She gives JD a look that he can only describe as pity. Maybe she isn’t the stone faced bitch he’d read her as at first, now that he looks at her he realizes that she’s younger than he’d thought. Younger than him he would guess.

“Small world, huh?” She questions, her tone softer. “I take it that he’s alright then?”

“He’s alright.” Peppy says. “Why don’t you send Branch out here and I’ll go and get Poppy. She’ll be happy to have another kid her age around.”

John nods and then turns to go and get his little brother. He opens the door to find Branch watching the group like a hawk. “There’s not many people here.” Branch points out.

“Yeah, this is it. That guy, Peppy, has a daughter around your age who is hiding away but aside from that this is it. I think that you should come out and meet everyone.” Branch nods and joins John outside of the van. He has one more thing to tell his little brother. “Peppy’s older daughter is Viva.”

Branch perks up. “Clay’s friend?” John nods. “Are she and Clay ok?”

“He hasn’t heard from them either.” John hates to disappoint Branch. He watches the kids' shoulders slump. He wishes that he had some kind of good news to share with him. Peppy emerges from the motel with a young girl around Branch’s age.

“Branch!” Poppy cheers.

“You two know each other?” John questions.

Poppy nods happily. “We met before at Clay and Viva’s school!” John doesn’t remember that. But then again, he has been absent from his brother's lives for a while now. It hits him that he doesn’t know much about Clay’s life. He’s working in Vibe City and lives with Viva. He’d just graduated alongside Viva whom he’d met while he was in school but aside from that John doesn’t know. He really is a bad brother isn’t he? Once again he feels so very out of his league here.

Poppy drags Branch away to play, she has some toys and drags Branch into a game of some kind. Barb sends Riff over to keep watch by peering over the fence by standing on a dumpster and the adults are left together. John looks around the group, there’s him, Barb, Peppy, Lownote and the older man whom he thinks might be Barb’s father. The older man has a dazed look on his face and John’s not entirely sure that he’s entirely present. It reminds him of Grandma’s friend Mr. Johnson.

“So.” Barb starts. “I guess you guys are staying here?”

“I guess we are.” John still doesn’t trust her. She was going to leave them out in the cold, he’s not going to forgive that right away.

“Alright guys, enough of this. If he was going to attack us he would have by now, Barb. He helped us out and he knows Peppy.” Lownote lectures. “It’s time that you stop treating him like a criminal.”

“I get it.” Barb snaps. “I’m sorry for being cautious, but in case you haven’t noticed we’ve been having problems with bandits recently and for all we knew he was one of them.”

Lownote snorts. “Bandits don’t usually have kids with them.”

“Fine. Fine I get it.” Barb turns to John. “For what it’s worth I’m sorry. I’m just cautious. I’ve got my dad and Riff here to look out for and Peppy’s got Poppy. But if Peppy says we can trust you then I believe him.” She holds out a hand for JD to shake. “Truce?”

“Truce.” He takes her outstretched hand and shakes it. “I get it. I’ve got Branch to look out for and I’m cautious about him.”

“We’re all cautious.” Peppy says. “Something about this apocalypse made people mean, but we’re all still living and that’s what we need to remember. Things will blow over soon enough. All we need to do is look out for each other in the meantime.” John’s not so sure about that. One thing that he’d come to see in his travels was that the world was in bad shape. He didn’t think that anyone was out there trying to “fix things” in the way that Peppy hoped they were. He wasn’t sure that there was much of anyone out there at all. He chooses not to say that to Peppy. Hope was a strong thing and wasn’t about to try and drag him down.

“Thank you guys for letting us in.” John says. “I wasn’t sure that there was anywhere out here that was safe, but you guys seem like a good bunch.”

“We are. Branch is safe here.” Peppy assures him. “I’m just glad that Poppy has a friend. She misses her sister something fierce but maybe having Branch around will help her.”

“Branch misses our brothers too.” John admits. “He didn’t want to leave home, before everything happened Floyd promised that he’d come and visit soon. He’s still convinced that Floyd is on his way home to us.”

Peppy gives him a sympathetic look. “Maybe he’s right. Maybe after all of this is done you’ll see your brothers again. I hope that I can see my Viva again once this whole thing is cured.”

“Yeah. Maybe.” John doubts it. He doubts that he’ll see any of his brothers again. But he can’t voice that. Voicing that would make it too real. He wished that he could have Peppy’s faith that everything would go back to normal but he’s not so sure. Judging by the looks on Barb and Lownotes faces, they feel the same.

How could everything go back to how it was? With so many dead it felt impossible. But at the same time John didn’t want to think about the possible reality that this was just the way things were now. That nothing would ever return to how it was. He didn’t want to accept that, he didn’t want to accept that this might be the only world that Branch knew.

Chapter Text

In the following week after arriving at the motel John comes to learn a few things about the group that he’s found himself in the midst of. Almost no one here is how they appeared at first glance. He wonders if they feel the same way about him. He didn’t expect to trust them. He went in expecting there to always be a degree of separation. For so long it had felt like he was the only one he could rely on to keep Branch safe, but maybe with his new group that didn’t need to be the case.

Lownote was dependable, John has come to see him as a friend despite only knowing him for a handful of days. He can depend on the guy to have his back on a supply run and Lownote had shown John how to use a knife the way that he does.

“It’s not an ideal weapon but it’s effective.” Lownote explained. “And one that’s relatively easy to find. Once you get the hang of it it’s pretty easy. In a close range fight it does the trick.” He was right. He’d helped John try it out on some of the zombies that would gather at the gate. Despite that, John thought he’d like to stick with his hammer. He hated the memories attached to it, but it worked and he couldn’t deny that it was effective.

He learns more about Lownote as well, primarily that he hadn’t been alone when he got the motel. He told John one night that they’d lost a lot of people while living here. There’d been the woman that John heard die when he first met them. There’d also been Lownotes sister. Back before they’d set up the fences the motel had been overrun and his sister hadn’t made it out. John couldn’t imagine how that felt. He assumed his brothers were gone but Lownote didn’t have the luxury of hope. He’d laid his sister to rest only a few weeks ago. That’s one more thing that John had realized. With so much going on, things that had happened only weeks ago felt like they’d been a lifetime ago. It was hard to believe that his grandma had only died a month ago. That wasn’t even to mention things that had happened before the outbreak. It seemed like a lifetime ago that he was living out of Rhonda and drifting around to wherever the wind took him. But in reality it had been less than two months ago. He missed those days. He missed feeling safe. He didn’t feel safe at all anymore.

He’d also placed where he recognized Lownote from, or rather where he recognized his voice from. His friend mentioned off handedly how he and his sister had been working at a broadcast station at the beginning of everything. “We were only able to keep the station running for about a week. It took a lot of people you know? And then we got overrun and lost nearly everyone. I don’t even know that anyone was listening.”

“I was.” John cut in. “I knew I recognized your voice from somewhere.” Lownote nodded sadly. To think, this whole time Lownote has been the one he was listening to while worrying about if he even had a home to go back to. “It helped, when I was driving here to get Branch it helped.”

“I’m glad that it helped someone.” Lownote said. He had an air of sadness around him, one that John felt he could understand. He was safe, he had a group, but his family and everyone he knew before was gone. John couldn’t relate to that, he did have Branch after all, but if he didn’t…well he’s not sure that he could stay as strong as Lownote was. He admired his friend for that.

Then there was Peppy and Poppy. It helped that John knew the two of them through Clay. Peppy was hopeful that things would go back to normal. His intense hope was something that made everyone else uncomfortable, though none of them would voice as much to him. John didn’t think that Barb or Lownote had the same blind faith that Peppy had in the world turning itself right but it was like no one wanted to voice those fears aloud. Peppy was sure that the world would right itself and go back to the way it was. John didn’t think it ever could. This wasn’t something that you could just come back from. Of that he was sure. He wasn’t sure that he could ever go back to being the man that he was before all of this. It might have only been a little over a month but he knew that he could never be the same as he was.

Then there was Poppy. The little girl was a ray of sunshine in a dark world. John was glad that she was here for Branch. Branch was still withdrawn, John was pretty sure that his little brother was shaken from what had happened to their grandma. He didn’t want to talk about it, each time John brought it up Branch would shut down. He still thought that it was his fault, and above that John was pretty sure that he was still a little afraid of John after watching him bash their grandma’s head in with a hammer. That event drove a wedge between them that John wasn’t sure how to fix. He wasn’t even sure that he could fix it. Branch trusted him well enough, he talked to John, but he kept John at an arm's length. He kept all of the adults at an arm's length, even Riff who was still just a teenager.

It was only Poppy that he let in. He played with the girl and the two of them wondered aloud what their siblings were doing in the city. Hearing that hurt. Peppy thought that it was good to let the kids think that Clay and Viva were happy and alive wherever they were. John wasn’t so sure. But of the two of them, Peppy was the parent. John would follow his lead even if letting the kids blindly hope that Clay and Viva were safe and sound somewhere left a bitter taste in his mouth. They were probably dead. He knew that. He wished he could believe like Peppy did that they were safe but he knew that realistically they were probably dead.

And he’d never know for sure. That was becoming more clear. He would always question what happened to the rest of his family, he would never know for certain where they were or how they died. Was it fast? Did they suffer? How long did they survive? Were they out there like he and Branch, fighting to keep going with other survivors, or alone the way that he and Branch had been only a short while ago. Or were they dead, were they walking around blindly like the zombies he cut down every day? He didn’t know. And he probably never would. That was the hardest thing to accept.

Lastly there was Barb and her family. She still didn’t seem to like John much and the feeling was mutual. John hadn’t quite forgiven her for their first impressions but he was starting to understand her point of view, tensions had been high then and now that he’d had his own run-ins with bandits he understood why she’d been so wary about him. And after getting to know her family more he understood her better. She was younger than he’d realized, he thought they were close in age but she was younger than even Clay. She was still hardly out of being a teenager and she was in charge of two other people. Her father had dementia and didn’t always know what was going on and Riff still struggled with adjusting to the new world they were in. Barb was under a lot of stress. Of everyone here the two of them were the most similar.

But that didn’t mean that John had to like her. The two of them butted heads over what seemed like everything. Barb wanted to attack the bandits head on, John wanted to stay out of their way. Barb wanted to go further into the city to scavenge, John thought it was better to stay out of the more crowded areas. They were driving Peppy and Lownote crazy with their arguments. It seemed like there was very little that the two of them could agree on.

The one thing that they could agree on was safety. They were both cautious about keeping their group safe and were able to work together to make that happen. Despite their rivalry John would say that he could trust Barb. That was something that he was coming to understand was something important in this new world. He didn’t have to like Barb but he knew that she would have his back. She, John and Lownote became the new de facto scavenging team and John knew that the other two wouldn’t let him die out there. He could live with that.

Somehow along the way he managed to settle into this life. He and Branch spent their nights in Rhonda, with Branch taking the bed and John sleeping on the floor. It wasn’t the most comfortable arrangement but Barb had been right about the van being nicer than the motel rooms. The rooms weren’t terrible but the lights didn’t work and they weren’t good for much aside from sleeping. Besides, Rhonda felt much more like a home. John had spent the last few years of his life living in her and sometimes late at night, it was easy to forget everything that had happened to lead them here.

He could pretend that they were in another world, one where he and Branch were on a camping trip. One where he was sure that his brothers were still alive, one where Grandma was waiting for them at home alive and well and above all else a world where Branch didn’t think he was a monster.

He was starting to think that his little brother hated him. He hardly talked with John and when he did he was blunt about it. John knows that he’s still mad about their grandma. Branch understands zombies more now and understands that his grandma wasn’t going to get better but John can’t shake the feeling that Branch blames him for everything. And on top of that the kid keeps talking about the rest of their brothers. He talks about how Floyd is coming home soon, how maybe all of them would go and stay with Bruce and his family and mostly about where Clay and Viva were and what they were doing. Peppy didn’t help with that, he encouraged the kids to talk about their siblings. John really wasn’t sure that it was a good idea but he bit his tongue. Maybe Peppy is right and it’s good for the kids to have hope that they’ll be reunited with their siblings in the future.

It’s a hope that will never come true and something about it feels cruel to John. Why let them have false hope? Why let them believe that there’s a world where Floyd and Clay and Viva will all come out of the blue. Like Peppy’s blind faith in the world righting itself it’s starting to get on John’s nerves. The problem is that he’s let it go on for so long now that he doesn’t think that he can make Branch stop. One night he finds the time to vent it out to Barb and Lownote on a supply run.

“He thinks that Floyd is going to come back. He didn’t want to leave home since Floyd promised.” John rants. “And Peppy encourages it. I shouldn’t have let it go on this long.”

“Do you think your brother is dead?” Lownote asks. His question stumps John. Does he think that Floyd is dead? Does it matter? He knows that the chances of ever running into him again, dead or not, are low.

John sighs. “I don’t know. I think about him all the time. I think about him dying scared and alone. I think about him living somewhere out there like us. I think about him walking around as one of those things. I just don’t know and I don’t think I ever will.” He looks at his companions. “I don’t think the world will ever be normal again. I don’t think it can after this. I don’t know why Peppy is able to blindly believe that things will get better.”

Barb snorts. “He’s crazy. And that’s rich coming from me. My dad can get a little loopy but at least he doesn’t think that the zombies are just gonna drop dead and we’re all going to return to our lives.” She winces at her own jokes. John feels sorry for her. Her dad’s condition is really taking a toll on her. He’s healthy enough for his age but his mind isn’t all there. There are some days when he doesn’t know who anyone but Barb is at all. John knows that it’s hard for her.

“Faith can keep people strong.” Lownote adds. “I think that’s why he encourages it from the kids.”

“Well I don’t know if it’s such a good idea. I’m not about to tell Branch that all of our brothers are dead but I don’t want him thinking that they’re going to show up. He’s just too young for all of this.” John spots a zombie and motions to his companions. Since there’s just one the three of them get into positions to attack. They still can’t take on larger groups but a single zombie or a pair are easy enough to take out. Lownote theorized that if they take out enough of them they can thin the numbers down to a point where they’re safer but John’s not so convinced. It seems that for every zombie they take down 2 more take their places. He’s noticed in his time here that there seem to be more. Maybe more people are dying, or maybe they’re just gathering. He doesn’t know.

It only takes one blow from Barb’s ax to take it down. The three silently celebrate before hearing a sound that sets them on edge.

Before this, the sound of living voices would have been a relief but their situation has made people mean, John’s starting to get why Barb had been so wary of him. They duck into an abandoned storefront and listen in.

“I’m telling you man, there’s another group of survivors out there. I’ve seen them sneaking around and they’ve been taking shit from the stops.” A gruff voice says.

“And what do you suggest? That we go make friends and play dolls with them?” A second voice cuts in. “We don’t have the food or resources for more people and their being here is a drain on our scavenging pickings as it is.”

The three of them share a look, this group is talking about them.

“Of course that’s not what I’m suggesting. I’m saying that they’re stealing what’s rightfully ours and we shouldn’t tolerate it.” The first voice says.

“So we pump them full of lead the next time we see ‘em” The second says. “Simple enough.”

“Nah, they’ll just send out more.” The first responds. “Next time we spot ‘em we should follow them back to their base. They’ve gotta have food and meds there, we wipe them out and take their shit. Hell, maybe take their home too, I’m tired of sleeping in a tent in the woods. With any luck those bastards have a nice comfy house for us to move into. Wherever they are they’re well protected enough to still be around.”

The voices start to fade as the duo gets further from the store. The three survivors wait a good ten minutes after they’ve passed to remerge. They don’t have to talk to each other to understand the threat. They’re not the only ones in this town and this other group doesn’t want to share resources. Coming into town will be dangerous from now on, but there’s no other way that John can think of to find the food and supplies they need to stay afloat. They’re already running so low as it is. Things aren’t like they were before, times have gotten hard and people got mean. The zombies aren’t the only things they need to look out for.

The group is extra careful as they gather their supplies and retreat back to the motel. John watches his back the whole way, a part of him is convinced that he’ll see one of those shadowy figures following them back. They relay the threat to the rest of the group, it’s enough to have Peppy’s enthusiasm falter. They’re not safe here, but they’re not safe outside of the motel either. There’s no good answer to anything.

John hasn’t felt safe in a long time, but after that encounter he has trouble letting himself rest at all. He’s started to understand how to fight zombies, but he doesn’t have the first clue of how to fight the living.

Chapter Text

One thing that John hadn’t expected from the apocalypse was the way that life went on. Days turned into weeks, which turned into months. Before he knew it they’d been living at the motel for 2 months, marking the start of the apocalypse as 3 months ago. It felt short to say out loud, but already his life before this felt so far away. 3 months was nothing…but it was also enough time to practically start a new life.

3 months since his grandmother had died. 3 months since he’d last heard from his brothers. 3 months since he’d become the sole guardian of Branch. A lot could happen in 3 months.

The weather was getting colder and John was so glad that he’d made Branch bring a jacket with him when leaving the house. Poppy didn’t have any warm clothes so he and the scavenging crew had to get her one from one of the houses they raided. He always hated seeing kids' rooms in the houses they scavenged. Even when houses were empty it was always so surreal to look at them. Someone used to live there, in so many houses things were still set up as if the residents were expecting to come back later. The houses with residents still in them were harder. The lone zombies were easy enough to dispatch but it was still sad to think about it. That was someone who used to be alive, they died in their own homes and turned into a monster. Seeing zombie kids was still hard. It was hard not to see the faces of Branch and Poppy in them. Is that what would have happened to his little brother if he never made it home? It hurt to take them down, but he liked to think that wherever their parents were it was what they would have wanted.

After a while he stopped letting himself think about it. He stopped letting himself look the zombies in the face. It helped that with the months the rot had set in. It was impossible to deny that they were dead after this. Not that he’d still held onto that idea. He’d accepted that the zombies were reanimated corpses the day that he’d needed to put down his own grandma. The point was that it was getting easier. John no longer found it scary to kill the zombies and he could see the same feeling reflected in his comrades. Barb and Lownote had gotten better along with him and even Riff had stopped fearing the zombies as much, though the teen still didn’t like to go out scavenging. He was still deathly afraid of being eaten, to the point where he panicked if a zombie got too close. They mostly let him stay behind to guard the motel, John figured 3 people was enough and it was probably safer not to have someone who might panic and flee on their team. Besides, apocalypse or not he was still young, it was kinder to let him stay behind. Even Peppy had gained more skills in taking out the zombies during their months here. He still wasn’t as skilled as the others but he could handle himself pretty well with the crowbar he’d picked as his weapon of choice. Their group was growing harder, things that had seemed so outlandish only months ago no longer made him bat an eye. Breaking into houses, taking from stores, siphoning gas, it all felt so normal to him now.

So far they’d been able to avoid the bandit group that he and the others heard talking in town but the threat of their presence was never gone. They were still there, even if they were out of sight. They’d heard the sound of gunshots in town and had to take cover more than a few times. Most worrying of all, supplies were running out. They weren’t the only ones raiding the stores in town and the food was running low. They hadn’t had enough for weeks now and it was only getting more apparent. John made sure that Branch had something to eat every night, even if that meant that he didn’t get a share. More than a few nights he found himself going to bed hungry and it was taking its toll. He’d lost weight, all of them had. Even Branch was looking scrawnier and paler than he had the day John had found him. To make things worse the kid never seemed happy. John didn’t expect him to be, but he missed the smiley little bitty b that his little brother used to be. This whole situation was so unfair to him. He should be going to school and playing with friends, not worrying about being eaten alive.

The thing about hunger was that it made people mean. That paired with the chill that was settling in made an already tense situation worse.

There were days when John and Barb got along well enough, and then there were times like today where the two of them couldn’t agree on anything at all.

“I’m telling you, we need to ambush them first.” Barb argued. “We got out there and hunt those bandits down before they find us first.”

“And then what?” John shoots back. They’ve had this argument before and he’s sick of it. And to make it all worse he’s starving, they didn’t have enough tonight and he’d given his share to Branch. “We kill them?”

“If we have to.” Barb crosses her arms as she glares at him. “That’s what they’re going to do to us if they find us. You heard them, they’ll kill all of us if they find us.” John catches the rest of the group watching them. His eyes hone in on Branch, the kid's face is blank. He hasn’t warmed up to John much in the past 2 months. He’s open to him and trusts John to take care of him, but he hardly talks to John. Or anyone else for that matter. The only one that he really talks to is Poppy. The girl’s optimism hasn’t faded, but at this point she’s the only one who still thinks that things will work out. Even Peppy has stopped talking about things “sorting themselves out.” They’re all out of hope just as much as they’re out of food.

“Branch, go play with Poppy inside.” John orders his little brother. He’s being too harsh. He’s no good at being soft with the kid. It feels like everyone else here is. Peppy already knows how to be a father but even the others are better. Riff has a way of getting the kids to include him in their games, Lownote entertains the kids with his stories and calming voice and even Thrash has a way of calming the kids down even if he isn’t always aware of what’s going on around him. And then there’s John. So often he finds himself snapping at the kid, or stopping him from playing too loud out of fear of attracting zombies or worse, bandits. Each time he has to tell his little brother no he feels something in his chest die.

“Are you going to kill someone?” Branch asks. He’s so matter of fact, like killing someone is something normal. Hell, maybe it is. Maybe in this crazy world killing another person is a normal part of life. John doesn’t know, but he does know that it’s not a low that he’s willing to stoop to.

“No Branch, we’re not going to kill anyone.” John tries to reassure his little brother.

“But what if they attack us first?” Branch asks. “Will you kill them then?”

John sighs. He doesn’t know what to say. It feels like each time he reaches a choice like this he can’t find the right thing to say. “I don’t know Branch.”

It’s not the right answer. Branch just looks at him with that same blank expression before Poppy takes his hand and drags him to the room that she and her dad sleep in at the motel. John feels so useless. He’d said the wrong thing again and upset Branch.

“Good job upsetting the kids.” He snaps at Barb. “Seriously, they’re already scared enough as it is.”

She deflates. Barb might not like him but she likes the kids, John will give her that. “I’m sorry John, but it’s something that we need to talk about. You heard those bandits, they were ready to kill us months ago and something tells me that hasn’t changed.” Barb’s voice raises. “Don’t think that I’m some kind of monster. I don’t want to hurt anyone, but we have to think about what we’re going to do if it comes down to it.”

“You’re not thinking of what to do if we have to, you’re suggesting hunting them down before they can hunt us down.” John points out. “Is that who we are? The kind of people who kill someone unprompted? The world might have gone to shit but we’re all still human. That has to mean something.”

“I don’t know.” Barb collapses into a chair, burying her head in her hands. “Maybe I am going crazy.” John is reminded of just how young she was. She’s only 21, he’d learned that during the time that he’d known her. She’s hardly more than a kid herself and she’s being forced to make the kind of decision that no person should have to.

“No one is going crazy.” Lownote steps in to diffuse the fight. “and we are not going to hunt anyone down.”

“That’s not who we are.” Peppy says, joining in as well. “It’s like John Dory said. We’re still human. We need to remember that.”

“I don’t want to kill anyone.” Riff looks sick. “Maybe we should just leave. They’re going to find us eventually if we stay. So maybe if we leave we can just avoid them.”

“No.” Barb says definitively. “We don’t hunt them down, but we stand our ground.”

“Your cousin might be right.” Peppy says, his eyes darting around. “All this talk of the bandits has me worried that this place isn’t as safe as we thought. We’re already running out of food and we don’t have the kind of numbers to fight off this group if they come for us. Maybe leaving is the right choice. We can find somewhere safer to settle down.”

“We can’t just leave!” Barb argues. “We’ve fortified this place and it’s safer than anywhere else we’ve seen in town. We lost people protecting this place, we can’t just leave it all behind. If they attack we can fight them off.”

“But what if they attack when you’re not here!” Riff argues against his cousin. “Uncle hardly knows what’s going on, the kids are too little to do much of anything and Peppy and I can’t hold off a whole group of raiders.” Barb doesn’t have an answer for that. It’s something that John has worried about each time they leave the motel. Riff and Peppy are the only levels of defense that they have when John, Barb and Lownote were gone. He’s taught the two of them to shoot and Riff is a pretty good shot but even then, one person is hardly enough to hold off a whole group. And on top of that they don’t have many guns to begin with. He’d had one with him and the group already had two when he’d gotten there but three guns didn’t mean much. They took two of them when they went out to scavenge and left one with Riff, but they were hardly even able to use them. The sound attracted more zombies, and worse, gave the bandits proof that there were others out there.

“Maybe Peppy is right.” John finally admits. He doesn’t want to leave. He’s seen the world out there both before getting to the motel and in the town. There’s practically nowhere safe left in the world and they’d already poured so much time into fortifying the motel but the threat of an attack was always looming over them while living here. John hated to admit it, but maybe leave was what they needed to do to keep everyone safe.

“No. No, we’re not leaving.” Barb argues back. “We’re not just running away from them. We can make this place work.”

“We’re out of food, there’s bandits all over and it’s only going to get colder.” John argues. “Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to leave either but I need to think of Branch. I can’t keep going on worrying that he’s going to be killed when I’m not here.”

Barb still looks conflicted but John can tell that he’s getting through to her. It’s easy to argue with her, but hard to forget that the two of them are fighting for the same things. John is watching over Branch, Barb is in charge of her family and their safety. They both want the same thing, but just can’t agree on how to make it a reality.

“I just don’t know what to do.” Barb finally admitted.

“I don’t know either.” John joins her in the chair next to her. The fight is over and the others start to disperse, Peppy leaves to go and check in on the kids and Riff takes his familiar place on the watchtower. That leaves JD, Barb and Lownote alone. It’s so often the three of them together, they’re the ones who go into the town and scavenge and they have to trust each other in order to do that. Lownote drags another chair over, they’d taken the wooden motel chairs out of some of the empty rooms and put them outside so there were plenty to choose from, if the chill kept up they’d have to start burning furniture. Even in Rhonda John and Branch were struggling with the cold and he couldn't imagine what it was like to sleep in one of the motel rooms. “I have no idea what I’m doing.” John admits. “It seems like everything I do is the wrong choice.”

“That’s not true.” Lownote assures him. “I don’t know that there is a right choice here. I don’t even know which one I would make if I had to choose. And you’re not just choosing for you, you have a kid to worry about.”

“It’s not just this choice.” John shook his head, thinking of every time that he disappointed Branch. “It’s everything that has to do with Branch. It’s like I can never do the right thing.”

“Kids are hard.” Barb tries to comfort him, if he weren’t so stressed he’d laugh. She’s not much older than a kid herself and here she is lecturing him about childcare. “And these are hardly the easiest of times for him to adjust to.”

“Sometimes it just feels like any of my brothers would have been a better choice to take care of him. He hardly even knew me before all of this. I hadn’t lived with him since he was a toddler and then I came back, bashed our grandma’s head in and dragged him off to live in a motel.” He’s already told his friends about his grandma. It’s not as if the 2 of them don’t understand. Lownote had to put down his own sister and Barb’s seen multiple friends turn into zombies. The further into the apocalypse they get the less shocking death seems. Still, John can’t get the image of his grandma out of his head. And he knows that Branch can’t either.

“Yeah maybe, but you’re the one that’s here.” Barb says, comforting him in her own gruff way. “He’s a kid and I’m sure it’s just some kind of trauma thing. His whole world got flipped on its head and he’s still adjusting. But for what it’s worth I don’t think he hates you as much as you seem to think that he does.”

“I’m not so sure about that.” Branch doesn’t even seem to particularly like John. All he wants to do is play with Poppy and talk about where their other brothers might be. He’s still holding out hope that their brothers, and particularly Floyd, are going to come back for them. It hurts John each time he hears it. Peppy still thinks that it’s good for the kids to hold out hope, but at what point does it become cruel? Floyd isn’t coming back. Clay and Viva aren’t safe and sound in the city. Bruce and his family are missing. John has no idea where they are and right now he doubts that he ever will. Somehow the idea that he might never know what happened to his brothers hurt worse than anything else. He’d always be left wondering if they were dead. He’d always fear that their last moments were ones of pain and fear.

“Barb is right, Branch looks up to you John.” Lownote points out, putting a comforting hand on John’s shoulder. “You’re doing the best that you can and he knows that. Raising a kid in this world isn’t easy for anyone, and you weren’t prepared to raise a kid even before this. The important thing is that you stepped up. You’re watching over that kid and keeping him safe and we can all see it.”

“Maybe you’re right.” John’s still not convinced.

“We are. Each time you leave the kid gets scared that you won’t come back.” Barb says.

John just snorts. “Because that’s the kind of brother I used to be. I was always going somewhere else and I never stayed. He’s probably just scared that I’m going to cut and run again.”

“Nah man, it’s more than that.” Lownote says. “He’s scared that you’re going to die. He’s scared to lose you. He’s already lost your brothers and he’s worried about losing you too.”

That makes John think. Did Branch think that their brothers were gone? The way that he was talking made it seem like he was still convinced that they were out there but maybe Lownote was right. The fact that he and Barb seemed to see things differently than he did might mean something. Maybe. Or maybe Branch hated him and his friends just didn’t want to tell him.

He doesn’t know what to think. The conversation fizzles out and eventually John takes a shift on watch to let Riff rest. While he watches the zombies milling about he lets himself think. Should they run? Stand their ground at the motel? Rhonda still runs, he’s made sure of that. He and Branch could leave easily, but even he knows that the van won’t have the room to take everyone. Could he leave his group behind? He doesn’t think that he could. He’s only known them for a few months but he can’t stomach the thought of leaving any one of them behind. They’re a team, they watch out for each other.

Peppy and Poppy are good people and he couldn’t leave them behind. Peppy was the reassuring presence that he needed and had been invaluable in helping John care for Branch. Poppy was the only bright point in Branch’s life and was just a kid herself. And then there was Lownote, he was a good friend and the calming mediator that their group needed. John couldn’t leave without him. And then Barb and her family. He didn’t always get along with Barb but he couldn’t leave her to survive on her own. He trusted her to have his back, and the rest of her family were good to him as well. Thrash didn’t always know who John was but he was always kind, and in moments of lucidity he gave good advice. And then there was Riff, he was so much like Floyd and John wished that the kid didn’t have to live in this world. He should be worrying about starting a band or whatever it was kids his age were into. Instead he was learning to shoot in preparation of the possibility of needing to kill someone someday.

No, John couldn’t just leave on his own. He’d gotten too close to this group already. He didn’t know what they were going to do, and he could only hope that they were able to stay hidden and safe until he figured out what to do.

Chapter Text

John thought that he was used to hunger, but now 4 months into the end of the world he was learning a new definition of the word. They’d been running out of food a month ago and now it was more of the same. Their food stores ran dry and the scavenging trips into town were bringing back less supplies. On top of everything else, there were more zombies. John didn’t know where they’d come from, maybe more people had died or maybe somehow the walking corpses had decided to group together and gather in the town. So far the bandits hadn’t found them but John was scared that it was just a matter of time. They were still out there and if they were anything like John’s group then they were tired, hungry, scared and willing to do whatever it took to stay alive.

He sighed, he was going stir crazy here at the motel. The weather had taken a turn and gotten colder, they were able to keep a small fire running but even then they were running out of things to burn. So far they’d burned through furniture from the motel but that would only last them so long. He was tired, he was cold, he was hungry and above all else he was scared as shit.

He couldn’t even imagine how Branch was feeling about things. He tried to broach the question one night as darkness was falling.

“So buddy, how are you holding up?” He asked his little brother.

“I’m hungry. And cold.” Branch answered. John’s shoulders slumped. He’d been doing his best to keep Branch warm and fed but he just didn’t have the food left to give him. They’d ransacked nearly all the stores in the town and the food they were finding in homes wasn’t enough to feed all of them. Everyone was going to bed with empty stomachs these days.

“I’ll try and get you some more food next time we’re out in town.” John promises him. It falls empty. He’s been saying that each time he’s gone into town. “You can have my share too.” His stomach is already cramping with hunger but if it means that Branch can sleep easier then he can go without.

“No.” Branch says flatly.

“No?”

“You keep giving me your food.” Branch looks at the ground as he talks. “You’re hungry too. And you’re the one fighting the monsters.”

“I can fight them just fine.” John tries to assure his little brother.

“I don’t want you to die. If you don’t eat you’ll get weak. That’s what Barb keeps saying.” Branch parrots. Of course he heard Barb say that. John heard it too, but usually it was directed at her father. Thrash wasn’t always fully aware of what was going on around him, but when he was he was always trying to give his share of rations away claiming that “he didn’t need it as much as they did.” John liked the guy, even though he could be a little out of it. More than once he’d called Branch by Riff's name, even when the older boy was standing right there. He wasn’t doing well. That much was clear. John wasn’t sure that he’d been doing well even before the world ended.

They all knew that Thrash’s condition was getting worse, and John knew that was weighing heavily on Barb. He wished there was more that he could do, but he wasn’t a doctor. None of them were. He was worried for the guy, but he also had his own family to look after. Branch is looking at him with such a blank expression on his face. It felt like he was always expressionless these days. When had it changed? John remembered him being such a smiley kid.

Maybe it was the apocalypse. John didn’t have much to smile about these days either. Or maybe the shift happened before and he just hadn’t been around to see it. The more time he spends taking care of Branch, the more he realizes just how much of his life he missed. He can’t make that time up, but he can do what he can now to keep Branch safe.

“I’m not going to die.” John promises him.

“You don’t know that.” John hates that his little brother has to think like this. He knows the risks every time that he leaves the gates of the motel. He knows that he risks his own life, and he knows that Branch is well aware of it. It’s not fair to the kid.

“I do. I’m not dying.” John tries once more to promise him.

“You might. Everyone else did.” Branch kicks at the dirt. “Floyd is dead, isn’t he.” It’s not so much a question as it is a statement. John’s stuck. What should he do? Should he try to assure Branch that Floyd is out there looking for them? The words freeze in his throat. Floyd is likely dead. All of their brothers are. And even if they’re not, it’s not as if they’re in any position to go and look for them. It’s likely that they’ll never see their brothers again. John knows that Peppy thinks hope is enough to keep the kids going but he doesn’t know if he can keep lying to his little brother.

“I don’t know Branch.” John finally admits. “I know that you want him to be out there.”

“But you think that he isn’t.”

“I don’t know what I think.” John doesn’t know how to have this conversation. Not for the first time, he wishes that Floyd were here. He had always been better at having tough emotional conversations. John was able to provide for Branch and keep him safe but he didn’t know how to handle the emotional aspects that a kid needed, especially one as troubled as Branch. He doesn’t have a clue what he’s doing, but he knows that he’s the only one that can do it. Branch needs someone, Branch needs him. “But I do know that right now it’s just the two of us and that’s how it’s going to be for a while. I’m just sorry that I’m the one that you got stuck with.”

Branch finally looks up at him. “I’m happy that you came back. You were really far away weren’t you?” John nods, Branch accepts the answer and looks back at the ground, kicking at the dirt with his sneaker again. “No one else did. If you didn’t come back then I would still be stuck in the treehouse. You saved me from Grandma. I know that you didn’t kill her. She was already dead.”

John feels…relief. He’d known it all along, his grandma was dead before he’d even made it home. Yet, hearing it from Branch begins to heal the guilt he’d been carrying since that day, even if only a little.

“Thanks kid.” He says, his voice is gravely and he realizes that he’s on the verge of tears. How long has it been since he cried? It was back at the house, the day that he buried his grandma. Since then he’s forced himself to stay strong for Branch. “If you have to…you can keep thinking that Floyd will come back. Maybe hoping that he’s out there is a good thing. We have to have something to look forward to, right?”

Branch looks conflicted. “Poppy wants to think that Viva is out there.” He says. “She wants me to think that Clay is with her and that everyone else is somewhere else.”

“And do you?” John and Branch haven’t talked about it yet. He’s mostly let his little brother do his own thing but he’s been curious.

“Maybe.” Branch said. “But probably not.”

“Yeah. Maybe.” John said. “I want to believe that Clay’s out there somewhere. He’s probably holed up somewhere reading all those books he collects. Maybe he doesn’t even know that anything is wrong. Once he finally finished all his books he’ll come looking for us. So about 2o years I’d say.” He tries to laugh but it comes out dry. He worries for his brothers. Were they living like he and Branch? Or were they dead? Had they been scared? He doesn’t have any answers.

Branch smiles. “Probably. And maybe Viva is with him and he’s making her read his books too.” John nods. Is this how Poppy and Branch play? If so he can see why it’s comforting. He wants to believe that Clay is just living his daily life even if he knows that it’s likely not real.

“I’m happy that you’re here.” Branch says, snaking a hand out to grab John’s arm.

“Of course buddy. I’m your big brother, of course I’d take care of you.” John assures him. Branch smiles at him.

Then Branch asks something that completely surprises John. “Can I learn to fight?”

John balks, “What? Where is this coming from?”

Branch shrugs. “I’m scared of the zombies, and I know that I’m too little to fight them like you and Barb but I want to know how to fight them in case I have to.”

John doesn’t like the idea of his little brother using a weapon to kill zombies. Branch was still a kid, he should be worrying about going to school and playing games not escaping from man eating monsters. “You won’t have to.” John says firmly. “One of us will always be there. If I’m not here then Peppy and Riff will keep you safe.”

“But you might not be.” Branch whines. “What if the zombies break in, or what if those bandits that we’re scared of try to get us again? I want to be able to fight if I have to.”

John can’t deny that Branch’s statement has some kind of merit. It wouldn’t be a bad thing for Branch to know how to fight, but teaching the kid to fight felt like admitting that he couldn’t protect him. “Maybe once you’re older.”

“I won’t get older if I get eaten.” Branch glares at John. He starts to mess with the buttons on the vest the way that he did whenever he was nervous.

“Branch, please.” John pleads. “I know that I’m not doing this right, but I don’t know how I feel about teaching you to fight. You’re still so little.”

“John please.” Branch pleads, still worrying with the buttons on his vest. “I’m scared, but maybe if I can fight I won’t be so scared.”

John sighs and relents. “Let me think about it.” Branch doesn’t answer and just continues messing with his vest. It’s too big for him, but that does mean that it can fit over his jacket. It stings a little each time that John looks at it. He can remember another kid wearing that same vest. Floyd had put so much time and energy into that thing. There are patches and pins that he collected from different shows and concerts that he went to over the years and it’s been patched and mended multiple times over. John still doesn’t know why Floyd left it, but he’s glad that he had. Branch has so few things to hold onto from their home. John has some pictures of their family that he’d kept tucked away in Rhonda that he keeps on him and he’d brought some of Grandma’s old photo albums from home. Aside from those and the vest Branch has his old stuffie. Those few things are all they have left of their home, and they’re the lucky ones. John still has Rhonda so in a way he still has his home, their fellow survivors can’t say the same. They’d lost everything, Barb and Poppy had some of their families with them but Lownote had no one left after losing his sister. Put in perspective, John is the luckiest one here.

It doesn’t feel much like luck.

He’s still cold and hungry, but at least they’re safe.

That safety doesn’t last. John never expected it to, but he’d been hoping that they’d have a little longer. It’s a week after he’d told Branch he’d think about teaching him to fight and the kid was incessant about it. Every day he was bombarded with questions from the time that he woke up. On one hand he was thankful that Branch was more willing to talk to him now, but he wished it was about quite literally anything else. He never should have made that deal with the kid but the more time that he’d spent thinking about it the more that he thought that Branch was right. He didn’t want his little brother fighting, but if he got cornered or had to escape a zombie on his own it would be good for him to know how to get away.

“Fine, fine. I’ll teach you to fight. Just wait until we get back from this next scavenging run.” John agreed, feeling his resolve break. It was just a matter of time, honestly. Branch always got what he wanted.

“Of course you cave.” Barb teased. “You never say no to that kid.”

“It’s because you’re his brother.” Peppy joined in. “You don’t have the same pressure as a father. You could get away with giving him ice cream for dinner every night.”

“Don’t even mention Ice cream, old man.” Barb groaned. “I’m freezing my ass off over here but I’d do just about anything for Ice cream.” The thought of food had their group going silent. They were all hungry, they had been for weeks. Each scavenging trip had them coming back with less food, to begin with they’d only had to go once a week. But now they were going out every few days and coming back with hardly anything.

Branch runs up to John, hugging him around the middle “thank you Johnny.” He smiled up at John and for a moment It felt like everything would be fine. Riff and Lownote started to crack the gates open and John got himself ready to head out there. He didn’t like it, but killing zombies was becoming second nature to him. Zombies he could handle, people on the other hand remained a mystery.

Things were looking up, until the sound of shots rang out and shattered the peace. It felt like time slowed down as John watched Peppy stumble back as he was hit in the arm by a stray bullet. John doesn’t think, he just runs and tackles the man down, pulling him down behind one of the stalled cars that litter the lot, and checking on his arm. The rest of their group scatters as well. Lownote and Riff shelter by the wall and Branch and Barb end up hiding behind a car parallel to John and Peppy.

Peppy hisses in pain and John quickly looks at his arm, the bullet looks as if it went straight through. He’s sure that it hurts like hell, but all things considered Peppy is lucky. John guides Peppy’s hand to his own arm and instructs him to apply pressure.

Once he’s sure that his friend isn’t in imminent danger he peeks out. He thinks he knows who's behind this, and seeing the figures with masks that cover their mouths and necks just confirms his earlier fears. The bandits had found them.

“We’re taking this place.” One of them shouts. “We’ve been looking for you for a long while now. You’ve been taking our food.”

“Fuck off.” Barb screams back. “We’ll shoot.”

“You and what army? Here we were thinking that you were a threat but you’re just a bunch of kids and old men. You’re not gonna win this thing.” John grips his shotgun, the bandit is right. They’ve only got three guns between them and right now Riff doesn’t have the leverage to make a shot. John can see 3 bandits already, they’re hiding behind the cars stopped on the street outside the motel. The gates are still open and he’s sure that there are more bandits waiting out of sight. They’re outnumbered and outgunned. And he doesn’t think that these bandits are going to let them go. No, he’d heard them before. The bandits were going to kill them for the few meager possessions they have.

“We don’t have anything.” John calls out, hoping he can talk them down. “We’re flat out of food.”

“You’ve got this place.” One of the bandits called out. “Pretty cozy, I bet you all have a nice comfy bed to sleep in. It certainly beats sleeping in a tent in the woods.”

“John, we’ve gotta fight.” Barb calls out. She might be right but John’s not sure they can do it.

“There’s too many of them.” He hisses back. Barb just rolls her eyes.

“They’re going to kill us and you know that.” She’s right, isn’t she? John can try to bargain with these people but who's to say that they won’t just shoot him in the back later. No, as much as he hates to admit it Barb is right. Another shot rings out and John ducks further back behind the car. They have to fight.

He raises the gun and settles his sights on the bandit that’s been shooting, he steels himself before pulling the trigger. He hears the man cry out as the bullet hits his shoulder. It’s easier to shoot a living person that John had thought it would be. It didn’t feel that much different than shooting a zombie. He probably could have hit the guy between the eyes without a sweat.

That realization scared John. These weren’t zombies, these were other people.

He didn’t want to kill them. But was there another choice?

His first shot starts a firefight, Barb starts shooting and the bandits return fire. John ignores the way that she aims for the head. It makes him feel sick, but it’s what the bandits would do to them if they got the chance. He doesn’t have the stomach to shoot to kill, but Barb doesn’t seem to hold the same qualms as him. Maybe she’d been right all along. Maybe if they’d tried to fight sooner they wouldn't be stuck in this losing war. He doesn’t have time to think of that as he reloads his gun and gets ready to keep fighting.

Chapter Text

The fight goes south quickly. John tries to get a hit in but the raiders have the advantage. It’s only a matter of time until he runs out of ammo. At some point during the attack Riff had been able to retreat and take shelter behind one of the other cars in the motel lot to be able to get a shot in but even with the extra person it was still a losing battle. John’s got a better count on how many raiders there are, he’s counted 9 of them. And that count isn’t even counting the ones that Barb had taken out. It’s more than he thinks he can handle and they’re all shooting to kill. He’s thought about it, but he just can’t do it. He’s done a lot of things that he didn’t think he could, but he’s not sure that he can take the life of a living person.

This fight would probably be easier if he could. It’s not like it won’t happen in the end. He’s not stupid enough to think that they can just let these raiders go off on their merry way and keep the motel. No…this fight won’t end until one of the groups is dead.

His aversion to kill is putting them at a disadvantage. He doesn’t know how he plans to end this without taking a life, he doesn’t think that he can but he holds out hope that something will happen to keep anyone from having to die.

That something comes by way of zombies. The first ones he notices drag down and bite into the neck of one of the raiders, making everyone pause in their fight. It had only been a few minutes since the fight started but those few minutes were enough for them to be surrounded by more zombies than he could count. The sound of the gunshots must have drawn them to the location. He’s not sure that they could fight this many off even if they weren’t already being attacked on all sides by the raiders.

“SHIT!” The lead raider cries out as another one of their members is dragged down and devoured. The gunshots change direction, being directed towards the encroaching horde rather than the survivors in the motel. John knows that this is as much an opportunity that they’re going to get.

“We need to move, now.” He calls out to the others. “Get to Rhonda, she’s unlocked and the keys are still in the ignition. Barb nods, she stands and pulls Branch behind her. John’s uneasy about having his little brother away from him right now, but he has to have faith that Barb will keep him safe. John has his own problems to worry about, Peppy’s losing a lot of blood and he’s going to need some kind of medical treatment but he can’t do much until they get out of here. More zombies are pouring in through the now broken gate by the minute, some of them have gotten around the raiders and started to shamble through the still open gate and towards their group.

“Poppy.” Peppy hisses out. “Has anyone seen Poppy?” John’s blood runs cold. He hasn’t seen the little girl or Thrash since everything started. If he had to guess he’d say that they’re hiding out in the motel but that’s across the whole parking lot.

“I’ll get her.” John promises, holding Peppy’s good arm over his shoulder as he drags him to his feet. “We need to get to Rhonda, now.” Peppy nods.

Barb and Branch go first, sprinting towards the car and reaching it far quicker than John can. He’s slower since he’s helping Peppy along, on the way Riff catches up to him and takes Peppy’s other side to move them along quicker. A few stray bullets come their way, but the raiders seem more interested in fighting off the zombies that are attacking and eating them than taking down the small group of survivors. The zombies are closing it, but thankfully Riff guns down any that get too close. His aim really has gotten better. John notices that the kid is shaking, but John’s proud of him for doing this well. He knows how much the zombies scare him. They reach the car in a short while, finding that Lownote as made his own retreat as well.

“Riff, take the wheel.” John hopes the kid can drive, Riff just nods and hops in the driver's seat. John pushes Branch and Peppy into the car before turning his attention to the motel. Barb is approaching the rooms, calling out for Poppy and Thrash as she does.

“Dad? Poppy? We need to go. Now!” one of the doors opens and Poppy peeks her head out. She’s holding Thrash’s hand and pulling him along. They’re moving too slowly. The zombies have reached the van and John pulls out his hammer to take them down. If they’re able to block the van then they’re not going to be able to leave. Lownote joins him and John hears the van start. Right now the zombie numbers are thin enough that John and Lownote can handle them, but it’s picking up. He peeks behind him and sees Barb dragging Poppy and Thrash behind her, already he can tell that they’re moving too slow.

“Poppy, run to me hun.” John calls out. The girl looks to Barb for approval and once she gets a nod she starts to run to the van. It gives Barb the ability to devote her full attention to getting her dad to the van. They’re closing the distance fast, but of course things couldn’t stay calm for long.

The zombies are piling up and to make things worse, the Raiders have turned their attention back to the group. A shot ricochets off of Rhonda and John curses. They need to get out of here now. Another shot rings out and John hears a cry of pain from beside him, he looks over and sees Lownote stumble back. Blood starts to spread across his thigh and John can feel the panic building. There’s too many zombies to fight and Lownote needs his help. Before he can close the distance between them John hears Poppy cry out. He’d taken his eyes off the girl and he hadn’t noticed that zombies had managed to surround her as well. There’s one on her right now, grabbing her arm and pulling her to its mouth. John’s not close enough to stop it. She’s going to die and there’s nothing that he can do to stop it. Lownote is bleeding out and Poppy is about to be eaten and John is powerless to help them.

Thankfully Lownote was close enough and he’s able to get there in time. John breathes a sigh of relief, though the relief is quickly quenched as he watches his friend and Poppy both go down with the zombie landing on top of them. He was already running to them and he reached the two in a matter of seconds. He slams the hammer down on the head of the zombie on top of them and quickly turns it to the other’s that have surrounded them as well.

“Shit, you guys ok?” Barb calls out. She’s reached the car as well and pulls open the back doors to boost her father in.

“I think so.” John drags Lownote to his feet and takes Poppy’s hand. There’s blood everywhere but he’s not sure if it’s zombie gore or blood from Lownote’s wound. His friend groans in pain as John drags him to Rhonda and Poppy is sobbing and apologizing the whole time.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know it was there.” She cries.

John shushes her. “It’s fine. We’re all fine.” he doesn’t know if he’s trying to soothe her or himself. He reaches the back door of Rhonda and Barb helps him throw Poppy and Lownote into the van.

“John, we need to get going.” Riff’s voice shakes as he talks. John slams the back doors shut and then curses as he looks out the windshield and sees that zombies have surrounded them. Rhonda is elevated enough that they’re not able to lay on the hood and break the windshield but it’s going to be hard to drive through them. Still, he doesn’t know what other options they have.

“Hit the gas Riff, we’ve gotta get out of here.” Riff looks conflicted but he follows John’s instructions. Rhonda stalls against the mass of bodies, but after a few rotations of her wheels crunch over them. It makes a sickening sound and John hopes that the kids aren’t watching. Right now he’s worried over his friends. Once Barb has Thrash settled she gets to work applying pressure to Peppy’s wound. Peppy and Lownote were settled on the bed in Rhonda, with Thrash sitting on the edge and the kids sitting on the floor. Poppy is still crying and Branch is doing his best to soothe her but he’s crying as well. John is panicking. Riff has been able to pull out of the motel but there’s just so many zombies here. John doubts that they’re going to be able to come back. They’ve just lost their home. In the drive past he sees what’s left of a few of the raiders, sickeningly one of them is still alive and crying out as he’s devoured by the hoard. Zombies throw themselves at the sides of the van, blood and gore smearing across the windows and sides. He thought that they were out of the woods with the raiders, but it seems that a few of them had survived. A window above the bed shattered due to a bullet, John pulls Lownote down.

His friend has been uncharacteristically silent since getting into the car. Once he’s sure that they’re not in danger of being shot again John gets to work checking out Lownotes leg. He was hit a few inches above the knee and the wound looks bad. John’s pretty sure the bullet is still in there and he has no idea what to do about that. What he can do is stop the bleeding. He grabs a towel from the floor and applies pressure.

“How are you feeling?” He asks.

Lownote groans. “Not good.” It certainly looks that way. John keeps pressure applied as they pull away from the motel. He hears a few more gunshots as they leave, it seems the raiders are still kicking. Though judging by the ever growing hoard, John doubts it would be that way for much longer. It’s just not fair. They’d just lost their home and for what? A few cans of food? In the end the raiders hadn’t even gotten that. No, they’d just lost their home and had two of their group injured for nothing.

“John?” Branch questions. “Where do we go now?”

All eyes are on John. Riff keeps driving down the road and John notices that he’s crying as well. John doesn’t have an answer. Where was there left for them to go? They couldn’t stay in town, but what if everywhere else was like town.

“We keep going.” He says. “We try and find somewhere to bunker down for the night.”

“When are we going to go home?” Poppy asks. It breaks John’s heart to have to tell her that they won’t be.

“I don’t know if we can.” He admits. The girl just starts crying harder. Branch pulls her close.

“It’s ok Poppy, we’ll find a new home.” Branch tries to soothe her.

“I know. It’s just that I left Viva’s bear in our room.” Poppy sniffles. “I guess that’s not a big deal. Daddy got shot and that’s worse.”

“I’ll be ok baby.” Peppy tries to assure his daughter. “We all made it out and that’s what’s important.”

John is pretty sure that having a place to spend the night is important too but he holds his tongue. Snapping at Peppy right now won’t do any good.

“And Mr. Lownote?” Poppy asks.

“It’s…” Lownote trails off. “I think I’ll be ok.” He looks conflicted. “John, I need you to do something for me.”

“In a minute man. I’m working on your leg.”

“John.” Lownote’s tone is firm as his voice breaks. “Please.”

“Fine. What is it?” John looks up.

“Can you check my back?” Lownote said. It’s a weird request, but one that John honors. He stands, putting Lownote’s hands on his own wound while he pulls his friend to lean forward. Once he does he feels bile fill his throat.

Maybe it’s not how it appears. Maybe Lownote just scrapped his back on the ground. He had gone down pretty hard. But John knows that’s not what it is. It’s a bite, and they all know what a bite means.

“I’m dead.” Lownote sees his expression and knows. “It got me.”

“We don’t know that.” John’s defense runs thin. They do know that, don’t they? Getting bit turns you into one of them. That’s what it is. Lownote got bit. He’s going to turn into one of them.

“What is it?” Barb questions. “What did you find?”

“I got bit.” Lownote admits. Barb looks horrified.

“What do we do?” Riff questions, his hands have gone white and he’s shaking as he keeps driving. “He’s going to turn into one of them, isn’t he?”

“Not yet.” John argues. “We don’t even know if it’s gonna happen. Maybe he’ll be fine.”

“He won't.” Barb snaps. “You haven’t seen what happens. Since you’ve been here we’ve all been fine. But before you got here people got bit. And then they turned into one of those things.” She looks at Lownote. She’s saddened. John knows how she’s feeling. He feels it too. Lownote is his friend, he’s had John’s back ever since John got here. It’s not fair, and Barb had known him for longer.

“What do we do?” Riff questions again.

“Pull over.” John instructs him. “Let me drive.”

“We can’t take him with us.” Barb whispers.

“But we can’t just leave him behind.” John argues. “He’s one of us.”

Barb doesn’t answer. She doesn’t have to. John can tell how she feels. Lownote is one of them until he turns. Once he does…he won’t be one of them anymore. He’ll be a danger to them. John knows that, but Lownote isn’t a zombie yet. Right now he’s still John’s friend and that has to mean something.

“I’m a threat.” Lownote cut in, his voice sounds so empty. “I’m going to turn into one of those things.” He’s shaking. “I don’t want that to happen.”

“Is he going to die?” Branch’s eyes are stuck on Lownote. “Like grandma?”

“People who get bit die.” Poppy sniffles. “Is Mr. Lownote going to die?”

“It’s…Riff, just pull over.” John snaps. Thankfully the kid listens and doesn’t fight him on it. Rhonda slows down and pulls to a stop. John wants to bury his head in his hands and cry but right now that’s not an option. He and Barb share a glance as they open the back doors. He helps Lownote to his feet. He doesn’t want to think about their options right now.

“What do we do?” John asks, directing his question towards Barb. Once they’ve stepped out of the van.

“I don’t want to turn.” Lownote says again. “I don’t want to be one of those things. I want to die as myself.”

“We’re not just going to give up on you.” John insists. “You’re still our friend.”

“I don’t know John.” Barb says. “We don’t know how long it’ll take.”

John just glares at her. “What do you suggest, Barb? That we just leave our friend here? Or maybe that we kill him ourselves?” Barb goes quiet.

“I don’t know John.” She finally admits.

“John, I’m not dead yet.” Lownote says. “I can make my own choice.”

“Give us a few minutes.” John said. Let’s keep driving for a while longer, I’ll drive and you can take shotgun, we’ll buckle you in just in case…”

“I turn into a monster who tries to eat you.” Lownote finishes the sentence for him.

“Yeah, that.” John feels his shoulders slump. “It doesn’t happen right away and we can figure out what we need to do.” He thinks he knows what they need to do but he doesn’t like it.

“Ok.” Barb relents. “Riff and I’ll watch over everyone in the back.” John had expected more pushback from her. Though maybe it shouldn’t be surprising. Lownote is a good friend. John hasn’t experienced the feeling of having someone he cares about turning. By the time he’d gone home his grandma was already a zombie, this is going to be the first time he lost someone directly. He’s not sure that letting Lownote back into the car is the right choice, but he can’t just leave him here right now.

They’re quiet as they climb into the car and once inside things are just as tense as before. Riff has taken over applying pressure to Peppy’s arms and the kids are still holding each other and crying. The whole time Thrash just looks ahead, seeing but not processing anything. It’s all so tragic and unfair. They’re going to lose Lownote for nothing. They lost their home and only shelter for nothing. And there’s nothing that he can do to fix it.

John’s quiet himself as he sits in the driver's seat and keeps going. He doesn’t know where he’s going, they can’t go back to the motel and John has no idea where else they could go. He just keeps driving, he doesn’t know what else to do.

Chapter Text

Half an hour after leaving the Motor Inn fever sets in. It’s become apparent that Lownote is not going to make it. He’s going to die, and he’s going to turn and there’s nothing that any of them can do about it. John pulls Rhonda over. The ride has been silent since he, Barb and Lownote got back into the car, the only sounds were off the kids crying silently. John’s known this moment was coming as he and Barb silently leave the van and guide Lownote to the woods. John still not sure what they’re going to do.

He knows what has to happen. Lownote can’t come with them, that much is clear. But at the same time they can’t just leave him. He’ll turn if they leave him and John can’t do that to his friend. He doesn’t want someone he knows to become one of those things. Seeing his grandma as one of them was hard enough. They enter the treeline by the side of the road. The kids will be able to hear whatever happens but they won’t be able to see it.

“So.” Barb says. “I guess that this should be your choice Lownote.” She doesn’t meet his eye as she talks.

“I don’t want to turn.” Lownote’s voice sounds so faint. He’s dying. John knows that but it’s still so hard to see.

“Which one of us should do it?” Barb asks. That was the question wasn’t it? One of them would have to take him out. John didn’t want to. But at the same time he didn’t think that he could make Barb. When had he grown morals?

“I can.” John volunteers. Barb just raises an eyebrow.

“Can you?” She asks. “I know that you don’t want to do this John.”

“It’s not as if you do either.” John points out. “Just…I can do this for Lownote.”

Lownote lets out a bitter laugh. “Never thought that I'd have my friends fighting over who was going to put a bullet in my head.” Barb and John both look sick. “You don’t have to. You could just leave me.”

“We’re not leaving you.” John says firmly. “We’re not going to let you turn. It’s just hard. You’re a good friend. I wish it didn’t have to end this way.”

“Me too.” Lownote looks so conflicted. “Now that the kids aren’t here I’ll be honest. I’m scared to die. There was more to life that I wanted to do, but all things considered I think that I’ve made my peace with things. I’m ready to die and I won’t hold it against either of you if you can’t do it. I don’t know that I could if it was one of you.”

“I can do it.” Barb says once more. With each passing second John has grown more convinced that it should be him. Barb might have killed the bandits earlier but she’s still young. This isn’t a faceless villain, this isn’t someone attacking them, this is someone that they know and care about. Even if it’s out of mercy it’s still killing a friend and that’s not something that goes away.

“Barb, let me.” John says. “Go back to the van and sit with the kids. I’ll be back soon.”

For once Barb doesn’t try to argue with him. She addresses Lownote one last time before leaving. “You were a good friend, you always had my back and I’m sorry that it had to happen this way.”

“Thanks Barb.” Lownote smiles at her. “Now go ahead, I don’t want you to have to see this.” Barb nods and then leaves John and Lownote alone. Once she’s out of earshot Lownote turns back to John. “Are you sure about this?”

“No.” John admits. “But I have to. Barb’s still young, I wasn’t going to let her do this.” to a friend is the unspoken part of that phrase. Barb had no trouble killing earlier when they were under attack. But with Lownote it’s different. He’s not some faceless villain. He’s one of them.

“That’s noble of you.” Lownote said. “You really can just leave me. Shoot the gun into the air or something. I won’t blame you. Hell, I don’t know that I could do it.”

“I can.” John says, he doesn’t want to but he can. He’s sure of it. “I will.” He’s trying to convince himself just as much as he’s trying to convince Lownote.

“Thank you.” Lownote’s voice is soft and he looks relived. John can’t imagine how scary it is to know that you’re going to die. That’s the truth isn’t it? No matter how this goes Lownote will die. If John can’t pull the trigger then he’ll turn and die anyway. There’s nothing that can be done to change it, the most John can do is end his suffering and give him a more peaceful death.

They’re left at a standstill. John’s going to kill his friend. His grip on the gun is tight as he thinks of what he has to do. Lownote seems to notice his hesitation and makes it easier for him. Of course he does. He’s a good friend, all the way to the end. He settles to his knees and shuts his eyes. “It’s ok John, you’re doing me a favor. I’m dead regardless. It’s mercy.

It doesn’t feel like a mercy as John pulls the trigger.

It doesn’t feel like mercy as John leaves Lownote’s body alone in those woods. After all, it's not as if he has time to bury his friend.

It doesn’t feel like mercy as he returns to the van feeling numb.

It doesn’t feel like mercy as he climbs silently into the driver’s seat and continues their drive. Acting like they hadn’t just lost one of them. Acting like he hadn’t just pulled the trigger and fired the shot that ended his friends life. It was mercy. Lownote was dying anyway. It was what he wanted. John just feels numb. He’s stopped feeling angry, at the bandits for attacking them, at himself for not being quicker and helping, at Poppy for not being careful and avoiding being grabbed. What good is that anger now? Lownote is gone and their already small group has just gotten smaller, they’re out of food and now have nowhere left to go.

The others don’t meet his eye as he enters Rhonda without Lownote. He wonders if they think him a murderer. Is that what he is now? He doesn’t know. What he does know is that Branch hasn’t met his eye since he got back from the woods. That’s the part that hurts the most. He knows that Branch isn’t stupid. As much as he tried to keep the kid out of it, Branch knows what just happened. Branch knows that his older brother just killed someone. He’d only just made progress with Branch, his little brother only just stopped believing that John “killed their grandma” and now John really had killed someone. And someone they cared about nonetheless. He can’t deny it. He doesn’t want to.

He keeps replaying the moment in his head. Lownote with his eyes closed and his head down. The cold metal of the gun in his hands. The way that pulling the trigger felt so easy. The spray of blood as Lownotes body slumped backwards. The way that static filled his head for a few seconds afterwards. It felt like it was someone else’s body and that John was just watching, almost as if he was watching a movie. It didn’t look like any of the action movies he’d seen, those movies made gunshots seem so dramatic and drawn out. This took only a few seconds, it was over almost before John even knew what he’d started. Lownote was dead.

It was easier than he thought it would be. It really was no different than the motions of killing a zombie. Pulling that trigger was easy, and knowing that scares John.

They’re quiet aside from the quiet sounds of crying. John checks in the rearview mirror, paying extra attention to Branch. His little brother had stopped crying, his face returning to the earlier impassive expression that Branch had been wearing so much recently. Poppy was crying, leaning into Branch as she sobbed. Her tears were quieter now but she hadn’t stopped crying since leaving the motor inn. No doubt she blamed herself for what happened to Lownote. John heard her say as much to Branch not too long ago. Peppy had been trying to comfort her, but his arm was bothering him and he was currently breathing heavily as Riff held pressure onto his arm. John was right earlier, the bullet had gone through his arm so they didn’t need to worry about removing it, however now that the adrenaline was wearing off Peppy was really feeling the pain. They didn’t have any way to help him.

John drove until he couldn’t anymore. His vision was blurring, his body felt heavy and the overwhelming numbness that he’d felt for hours now was threatening to take over. He didn’t even know where they were going, where was there for them to go? The motor inn was gone, overrun and too unsafe to risk going back to. They didn’t have anywhere else they could go. They could try to find somewhere new to settle down but with the darkness of the night that had fallen that was going to hard. Rhonda was starting to run empty on gas and they hadn’t grabbed any in the escape, there hadn’t been time to grab anything. All that had was whatever they had on them and whatever was in Rhonda. Only a bit of food and some blankets. The van was overfilled with the amount of people, Rhonda wasn’t really bit enough to fit their whole group but there was no alternative. Tomorrow morning they could decide where they need to go next and try to find somewhere new to settle down but for tonight they’re going to have to make it work. John wants to keep driving, to try and find gas somewhere and keep driving through the night. He feels like if he stops driving he’ll have room to think and he really doesn’t want to do that. He wants to avoid thinking too hard about everything that happened today.

To think…just this morning they’d been living in a very different world. A world where they were surviving and doing their best. Of course they were struggling, they were out of food but they were all together. John though things were bad then, but he hadn’t even known the half of it. This morning he knew that he had a home to come back to and a place to sleep at night. He knew that Branch had shelter. Now he didn’t know any of that.

He pulls over. He hasn’t seen a zombie in a while, he’d started to notice them less with the drive. They’re all over the road, groups of multiples or lone stragglers that John just swerves around. They don’t bother him the way they used to the last time he’d been driving around in Rhonda, back before he’d come back to take care of Branch. He’d been so scared of the zombies then, but now they barely register to him. He’s seen worse.

The van is quiet now that he’s settled by the side of the road. No one talks and he’s not sure what to say.

“John, switch with me.” Barb breaks the silence. “You’re about to fall asleep, you shouldn’t be behind the wheel.”

“It’s fine.”

“Don’t argue.” She says sharply. “I’m gonna get my dad into the passenger seat and I’ll take the driver’s, just leave the keys there in case we need to run. I’ll take first watch.”

John moves mechanically, unbuckling the seat, leaving the car and swapping with Barb. She’s helped Thrash up. The older man hasn’t said much since leaving the motel. His condition was going downhill, it was something that they all know but no one has talked about. John’s not about to go about doing that now. He swaps, finding himself in the back of the van now. There’s no much room, Peppy and Riff are still on the bed, Riff looks pale as he tries to help Peppy with his arm. There’s not much more that he can do, the bleeding has stopped and there’s not much more they can do aside from waiting for it to heal.

“Wake me up when you need to switch.” John addresses Barb. He needs rest, but she does too. None of them have slept and they had a rough day.

“Just rest John.” Barb says. He swallows back his response. He doesn’t feel like arguing with Barb right now. He doesn’t feel like doing much of anything, much less talking. But he has to, doesn’t he. Branch is looking at him, his face blank. John should say something, he should try to reassure him. That’s what a good big brother would do. That’s what Floyd would do if he was here.

But John’s not Floyd. He’s not a perfect older brother. Floyd probably would have known what to do. Floyd wouldn’t have shut down. Floyd wouldn’t have killed a man…or if he did he’d know how to explain it to Branch. If Floyd was here Branch would probably be happy, or at least more open. Floyd would know how to get Branch to open up. Floyd would know what to do. Floyd wouldn’t feel so lost. Any of their brothers would. Bruce was a father, he would know how to comfort a kid better than John could. He’d been around when Branch was growing up. Same thing with Clay, he would know what to do.

John knew he wasn’t the best person for this, he’d known that from the start. But he really had been trying his best to be the best guardian for Branch. Branch needed him, he didn’t have anyone else to rely on. It was a shame that he was stuck with John.

He looked at the kid as he climbed into the van. He half expected Branch to run into his arms the way he had as a kid. Instead the kid just looks at him with an unreadable expression. He doesn’t move to run to John, he doesn’t move to do anything at all. He just stays where he is, cuddled up next to Poppy. While she cries, Branch stays strangely quiet. John should say something, he should invite the kid over, he should do something.

Instead he just settles on the floor, he can’t lie out fully with how cramped things are but he manages to find a half-comfortable position to doze off. He knows that he should say something to Branch to reassure him, but he can’t find the words. Maybe he really is the wrong person for this. He shuts his eyes, trying to shut out the world for a moment. He wants to cry, but the tears won’t come.

He doesn’t expect to doze off, how could he after such a horrific day?

When he sees Floyd’s face in front of his he knows that he must be dreaming. Floyd shouldn’t be here. Floyd was hours away. Floyd was probably dead.

But he was here, in front of John. Faintly in the back of his mind he knows that he’s dreaming. He has to be, there is no way that Floyd could be here. But as is the nature of dreams it feels so real.

“You’re going to get him killed.” Floyd says. He doesn’t need to name who he’s talking about. John knows. Branch He’s going to get Branch killed.

“I won’t.” John’s voice is shaking. Floyd just keeps looking at him, face twisted with hatred. It’s not Floyd. He knows that it’s not Floyd. But it feels so real.

“You can’t protect him.”

“I will.” John tries to assure Floyd. It feels more like assuring himself.

“You can’t.” He knows that voice and turns to find Clay. His face is shadowed, it’s been a long time since John has seen him. Dimly he wonders if his mind is already having trouble calling his own brother’s face to mind. It’s a dream, but with every minute it feels more real to him. Clay just keeps speaking, sounding so very angry in the way that he always is when he talks to John. “You can’t do anything right.”

They’re right, aren’t they? John can’t do anything right. He couldn’t keep Branch safe. He couldn’t keep the Motor inn safe. He couldn’t keep Lownote safe. And now they’re on the road with no guarantee of safety. How can he expect to keep Branch safe like this?

“You’re going to fail.” Now Bruce is there. His brothers surround him in a triangular formation, all staring at him with anger and hatred. “And Branch is going to pay the price.”

“You’re going to get him killed.” Floyd again.

“You can’t do it. You can’t do anything.” Now Clay.

John turns to Bruce, already knowing that he’s going to be speaking next. “Why even bother? Why not just leave again? We all know that you want to. You always want to run away when things get hard and Branch knows it.” It hurts, hearing such hateful words from his own brothers.

“I’m not leaving. I’ll keep him safe.” He protests. “I promise.”

“Enough of your promises. You always break them.” Clay steps forward. The shadows that had shrouded his face melt away and John can see him clearly. He’s a zombie, his neck bitten out and his flesh rotten like so many of the zombies that John sees now. He freezes. It’s not real, it can’t be real. But it feels so real.

“How can you expect to keep him safe? You couldn’t even keep us safe.” John whips around to see Floyd. He’s a zombie too, his jaw hangs loose, detached from his face on the left side. He’s got bites all up and down his arms. John knows instinctively that he was alive for all of it, he lived through being eaten before he finally succumbed to the infection. He died scared, alone and in pain. John wasn’t there. John didn’t save him.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He whimpers. Floyd is dead. Clay is dead. And Bruce…

“Your apologies won’t fix anything. They won’t keep Branch safe.” He looks at Bruce, the brother that he was closest to. The brother that he used to consider his best friend.

He’s dead too, bites litter his chest and arms. John wonders if he tried to block the zombies from his family with his own body. Knowing his brother he’d sacrifice his own life to save that of his family. He wonders if that’s what happened. His brothers lurch forward. Floyd lets out a snarl through his mangled jaw.

“I’ll keep him safe.” John backs away but he’s surrounded. His brothers don’t speak to him, he gets the sense that they’re not here anymore. Now they’re nothing but reanimated corpses. He couldn’t save them. They died and he wasn’t there.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He falls to his knees, feeling like such a failure. He’s the older brother, he was supposed to keep his family safe and he couldn’t even do that. His little brothers were dead. He slumps. His brothers are almost on him. If they reach him they’ll eat him and kill him too. He should run, but what’s the point? It’s not like they weren’t wrong. It’s not like he doesn’t deserve this.

As Floyd’s mangled face fills his vision John is startled awake. He’s panting. Next to him Branch looks distraught. It settles in that his little brother had shaken him awake.

“You’re crying.” Branch points out. John reaches up to feel his face, finding that Branch is right and he is crying.

“Sorry.” The nightmare is still fresh in his mind. He knows that it’s not real, his little brothers hadn’t come to visit him in the night. But the words still ring true, it’s nothing that he hadn’t been thinking on his own. His mind just chose the vessels of his little brothers to deliver its message.

“You said Floyd’s name…were you dreaming about him?” Branch asked.

John pauses. He doesn’t want to share Branch with his dream, but he can’t lie to him. “Yeah…I was.” John says. He wipes the tears away. “I’m ok. Don’t worry about me.”

Branch just looks concerned. It’s a break from his usual apathy. “It’s ok John. I worry about him too.” John feels his heart break. He finally takes in his surroundings. It’s the morning, meaning that Barb hasn’t woken him up yet. Speaking of Barb he has no idea where she is right now, she and Riff are both absent from the van. He would worry that they’d the rest of them on their own, but Thrash is still sitting on the bed. He must have moved back to the back of the van at some point while John was out. Peppy and Poppy are asleep, leaving Thrash as the only other one awake in the van.

John tries to breathe and let out some of the tension that he was feeling.

“I’m sorry.” John says. He doesn’t know what else to say to Branch. “I’m sorry about everything. I’m sorry that we don’t have anywhere else to go. I’m sorry that everything is so scary.”

Branch shrugs. “It’s not your fault.” He says. “The bandits are the ones who attacked. And you don’t have anything to do with the zombies.” He reaches out, taking John’s hand in his own smaller hand. “But you’re keeping me safe. I know that you’re always going to be here.” Branch moves closer. “Barb and Riff said that they’re gonna check out the road around us and see if there’s any food in the cars or any houses we could settle down in. for tonight. They told me to let you sleep.” John snorts. At least he has an answer for where the rest of their group was.

“I’ll go help them.” John says, but Branch just shakes his head.

“I don’t want you to go.” Branch pouts.

What else can John do aside from settle down on the floor and let his little brother hold onto him. Branch leans against his chest in a way that reminds him of just how young his little brother is. Branch is just a kid and this is all so scary for him. John lets him settle down, and breathes a sigh of relief as Branch’s breathing evens out and he falls asleep. He reaches his hand up and runs his fingers through Branch’s hair.

He might not know what he’s doing and his earlier nightmare is still heavy in his mind, but maybe Branch does still see something in him. And maybe he can keep him safe. He just hopes that Barb and Riff come back with some good news.