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Thank you so much for reading whatever this was. In a way, this was extremely healing to me. When I started rewriting this, my life had had many big changes with one of them being my rabbit had just passed away after being my best friend for 6 years. And my grandma (who’s raised me since I was a baby) had been diagnosed with Stage 4 Cancer.
Writing this has (in a sense) been sort of a “full circle” moment for me. I started the original/draft when I lived with my mother (who was abusive) and when I was barely in High school, and am now finishing the actual product after graduating with my psychology bachelors degree and with my Grandma in a much more safe environment. Reverting back to writing steven Universe fanfiction has really helped me to process these big and life changing events, by going and doing something I am comfortable and familiar with.
The ending of “An Endless Existence” Is not supposed to be a happy or good ending at all. It just simply is an ending. Throughout Orange and White Diamonds relationship, they are both abusive to one another (with White diamond being more so). I based both their relationship attitudes on two unhealthy attachment styles there are: Avoidant and Anxious.
I've written many papers on this concept that there are different unhealthy attachment styles, with the main two being Avoidant and Anxious attachment. Avoidant attachment people usually are dismissive of their partner and their feelings, are happy to be around when things are going great yet tend to abandon their partner when things are bad or their partner is being “too emotional”. I wrote White with this in mind, as I feel like before “Change your mind” she was kinda depicted as narcissistic and detached from the other diamonds, much like the Avoidant attachment style is. On the opposite side of the spectrum, we have the Anxious Attachment. Anxious attachment is when a person is extremely worried about their partner and unable to properly function without them/ be without them. During the relationship between Orange, she displays these, especially when she discovers white and crimson.
Words cannot formulate how glad I am to finally share my OC’s story and the many ways it has changed from the original fanfic. Speaking of this story, this is a reminder that this fanfic is not a romance story, but about Orange Diamond’s existence, and how/ why she is the way she is.
Now that this fanfic is done, im actually gonna start another one very soon between White and Orange, but instead its them in a Human AU, so look out for that. Anyways, thank you to all of you who read this garbage fanfiction. Im so grateful you stuck with me until the end.