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Chapter Text

Hawkins had been quiet for a while. It wasn’t its usual kind of quiet; the next-door neighbors gossiping, occasional cars driving through the streets and small businesses trying to stay afloat type of quiet.

Ever since the spring of 1986, Hawkins had been a different kind of quiet. The kind of quiet that evokes regret in most people’s souls, the kind of quiet that mourns death and the kind of quiet that tags along on the long journey of recovery.

The swing sets on the playground swung creaking in the wind now. Those families that hadn’t died in the ‘earthquake’ had left the town, too scarred from everything that had been going on since November of 1983. Most of them didn’t know what it actually was that had been going on, but they understood enough to know that Hawkins was cursed. Disaster after disaster, death after death – Hawkins wasn’t the family-friendly, small-town neighborhood anymore.

The handful of people that stayed in Hawkins – whether it was out of nostalgia, inability to finance a move or pure stubbornness – remained split on the issue of the murders in the spring of ’86.

Eddie Munson, that was the name that still popped up now and then. Even though Hopper, as Hawkins returned-from-the-dead chief had managed to secure a deal with the government that had cleared Eddie’s name, most of the population still believed he had something to do with it.

Nobody suddenly disappears from the location of a gruesome murder without at least an ounce of guilt, right?

Eddie did feel guilty, and no amount of weed could get rid of the gnawing feeling. He was sitting on the steps leading up to his and his uncle’s trailer, taking a drag on his joint, staring straight ahead at the trailer opposite from his. Max’s trailer.

“She’ll be alright.” Robin’s hand stroked his back once, twice, until she decided it felt too awkward.

The Mayfield’s trailer had been empty since spring. Eddie would’ve liked to think that her mother had just died in the process of Hawkins being torn apart because that was less cruel than the reality in his opinion.

He knew what it was like to be left behind. His parents had done the same thing. Decided he wasn’t worth taking care of anymore. Max’s mother had decided to stay away for a while. She had visited her daughter in the hospital twice before leaving Hawkins, having begged the group to take care of Max once she woke up from her coma. Eddie knew that she couldn’t bear to see her only daughter like this, she couldn’t stand the thought of one day hearing the news about her daughter’s death, so it was easier for her to leave this cursed town behind. And Max didn’t even know.

“What if she won’t be?” Eddie rubbed his temples. “I barely know her. But-” He sighed.

“It’s not fair if you survived and she didn’t?” Robin guessed. Eddie nodded. “You can’t think like that.” Robin looked at him, but he kept his stare straight. “Eleven saved her. She’ll be okay.” For a moment, Robin joined Eddie’s blank stare. “We all will. Eventually.”

When Eddie finished his joint, Robin stood up from the steps and held out her hand. “Come on,” she said. “I still need that ride home.”

Eddie joined her without taking her hand, and without another word walked to his van. He and Robin had grown close, having more in common than he would’ve ever expected, but he couldn’t bring himself to get too attached. Nearly experiencing death had made him cautious – he didn’t want anyone to ever have to grief him.

“You need to get your license,” Eddie said when backing the van out of the parking spot next to the trailer.

“I’m still poor,” Robin replied with a cheeky grin that vanished when Eddie didn’t laugh with her. “Some day,” she added. “For now, this will have to do. And Steve can drive me around too.” She kept her eyes on the passing landscape for a minute, but Eddie knew that she hated silence and she’d try to fill it if he didn’t respond. “Hey, Steve and I are looking for a new job right now. You should apply with us. It’s more fun if you’re there with friends.”

“I have a job,” Eddie said.

“Selling drugs is not a job.”

“It makes money.” Eddie shrugged. “And all those remaining teens who are still forced to go to school even after the literal end of the world are a goldmine.”

Robin sighed. “Fine. Let me know if you change your mind. Retail’s not all that bad if you have good co-workers. And it’s hilarious with me and Steve there. By the way, he’s been asking about you.”

“He can keep asking,” Eddie muttered. “I don’t want to talk to him right now.”

“I still don’t get why.” Robin’s legs were propped up on the dashboard and she turned her head toward Eddie. “He saved your ass. You got along so well before everything went to shit.  And he keeps asking about you, keeps bugging me to convince you to talk to him. What happened?”

“Doesn’t matter,” Eddie said and pressed his lips together, trying hard to keep his focus on the road. “If you want me to keep driving you places, that’s all the answer you’ll get.”

Robin exhaled deeply. “Just thought you should know that you’re like the only conversation topic he has right now.”

Eddie didn’t reply.

“We should all totally go to the lake some time,” Robin kept talking. “Weather is going to be hot now, and I’ve been meaning to go there for a while. Do you think I could invite Vickie? I have this really nice bathing suit that I’ve never worn, maybe I could put that on, and – “

“For the love of God, Robin, shut up.”

Robin stared at Eddie, taken aback. Her face turned visibly redder.

Eddie groaned. “I’m sorry,” he said and tapped on the steering wheel. “I can’t hear about all this.”

“About bathing suits?”

“About all – this!” He gestured wildly toward her. “Your whole happy attitude, making plans for the future, thinking about girls. I can’t listen to it.”

Robin pressed her lips together and leaned back in the seat with a huff. “Fine.”

This time it was Eddie who couldn’t stand the silence that crept up on them. “Sorry,” he mumbled again. “I just don’t get how you can be so excited and happy all the time. We’ve been through shit. You more than me. And still – “

“Pull over,” Robin interrupted him.

“Why?”

“Pull over, Eddie, please.”

He listened to her, and once the van came to a halt, Robin opened the passenger door and got out. “I’ll walk the rest,” she said.

“Come on, Robin, I didn’t mean it like that.”

“I know,” she said and started walking. Eddie hurried to follow her in the van, slowly driving next to her with the window rolled down.

“Get back in,” he said. “It’s like two miles to your place.”

“I need some time to think,” Robin said. “We’re good. Don’t worry. I just need some time to think.”

Eddie sighed. “Alright,” he said. “Call me when you get home.”

On the other side of town, El was sitting in an uncomfortable chair in a hospital room, legs pulled up to her chest and listening to the steady beeping noise of a heart monitor. While the rest of the group were starting to prepare for the remainder of the school year, she and her brothers weren’t thinking about classes at all. Hawkins High wouldn’t let them re-enroll until the beginning of the next school year in August, so she saw no point in trying to catch up yet. She spent most of her time in this hospital room, staring at Max, hoping for her best friend to finally wake up. A lot of the hours in the hospital she spent reading and practicing her grammar. At first, it was difficult to be in this room at all. Not just because of the anxiety she felt about the very real possibility of not having been able to save Max after all, but also because simply being inside a hospital made her think of her childhood, though this one was less tiled and didn’t experiment on its patients, unlike the lab.

But over time, El got used to the quietness of this place. She had met all the nurses and doctors who were taking care of Max, had watched as they cut off most of Max’s hair to simplify the process of taking care of it. She had read stories to Max whenever Lucas wasn’t reading to her, she had told her about her day and any news the group had. El had no idea if Max could hear her. She couldn’t find her in her mind, and after nearly two months of talking to her unresponsive friend, it was getting harder and harder to keep her spirits up. But it was even more impossible to give up on her.

Max would wake up soon, she had to. El couldn’t lose someone else, not again, and not Max.

Sleep took over her soon, the uncomfortable chair making her back ache, but she didn’t care. It was a restless sleep, dreams fueled by anxiety and memories of Henry.  El didn’t like dreaming. She liked being in control of herself and of her mind, and dreams didn’t allow her to do so.

When she woke up, it wasn’t from nightmares or an alarm. One of the nurses gently woke her up and guided her out of the room into the waiting area. “What’s happening?” El mumbled still half asleep.

Her question was answered not long after when she was allowed to step back into Max’s room. El stared at Max for a moment, who stared right through her. “Max,” she whispered, wanting nothing more than to run to her and hug her, yet keeping herself and her emotions at bay out of fear to hurt or confuse her friend.

Max blinked a few times, her light blue eyes moving all over the room. Carefully, El took a step closer to her and swallowed her fear. This was the moment she had been waiting for. Two painful months of waiting. “Max, you’re awake,” she said, as if the redhead wasn’t aware of it.

Max opened her mouth, but no sound came out. Her eyes kept wandering through the room, unable to focus on anything, and she attempted to sit up straighter in the hospital bed. Her right leg and arm were still in a cast; the other casts had been removed recently, but the broken bones on the right side of her body seemed to be worse. The rigid neck brace had recently been replaced with a softer, foam rubber brace, allowing for more movement.

El sat down on the edge of the bed, reaching out to hold Max’s hand, who flinched on contact. “It’s okay,” El said, convincing herself to keep her tears inside. “You haven’t talked for a while. Give yourself time. Here.” She handed Max the half-full glass on the side table and helped her bring it to her lips. Though El had never been great at reading other people’s emotions, it was clear from the wide eyes and the furrowed brows that Max was panicking on the inside, trying to understand what was happening. When she finished drinking the water with small, uncertain movements, El placed the glass back on the table and clutched Max’s hand. A small smile found its way onto her lips. “I’m so glad to have you back,” she whispered.

“I can’t see,” Max finally said quietly, and her voice sounded hoarse and painful. “I can’t see anything.”

“It’s okay,” El repeated. “I’m right here with you.” She sniffed, finding it difficult to keep her tears in, and she carefully leaned down to hug her best friend. It had been too long, and even though Max was far from being okay, at least she was awake. She was alive.

“I can’t see,” Max whispered again. “Is he here?”

El grabbed her free hand as it started frantically moving over the bed sheets as if trying to find support somewhere. Max turned her head toward El and a single tear rolled from her eyes. “Am I going to die?”

“No,” El whispered. “You’re okay. Henry is dead. You’re safe.” It still didn’t feel real that Henry could actually be dead. Even with all the gates sealed up and the Upside Down being left in the past, El always felt this lingering fear that something might go wrong any moment. She didn’t like the dark now, because every shadow could be something dangerous. It wasn’t herself she was scared for – she could defend herself, she had done so a thousand times and she’d do it again, but the others couldn’t. If El wasn’t there to help them, they might get hurt, and then it’d be her fault all over again, just like with Max. If only she had been there quicker, if she had acted quicker, Max wouldn’t have died for those couple of seconds, maybe she would still be able to see now.

With her thumb, she wiped the tear from Max’s face, letting her own finally fall and burying her head in her best friend’s shoulder.  “I missed you.”

Chapter Text

“I can’t find it! Birdie, have you seen it?”

Robin peeked out from behind the doorframe. “Seen what? Your dignity?”

“No, your sense of humor,” Steve said dryly. “My hairspray. Seen it?”

“What do you need hairspray for anyway?” Robin leaned against the doorframe and crossed her arms. “Who are you going to impress at the hospital?”

Steve shrugged and kept rummaging through the bathroom cabinet. “You never know.”

“What, you think you’re gonna run into future Miss Harrington in the waiting room?” Robin grinned. “You won’t.”

Steve paused for a moment. “What if Nancy’s there? She’s probably driving Mike.”

“Seriously? You’re over Nancy, you’ve been over her for months.” Robin stepped closer to shut the cabinet door in front of his face. “The only reason you were pining for her before going into the Upside Down was because you were scared you might die and you would never have the chance to find anyone else. It was nostalgia.” She grabbed Steve’s face with one hand, smushing his cheeks and turning his head toward her. With the raised index finger of her other hand, she pointed right at his face. “You are not going back to Nancy.”

“Stop touching my face.” Steve swatted her hands away. “Okay, yes, you’re right. Part of me still wants her back, but I know that train has left the station.” He ran his hands through his hair, admiring himself in the bathroom mirror. “Hypothetical scenario though, what if we get there and in the waiting room are a bunch of babes and they all see my undone hair and laugh at me?”

“You sound like a twelve-year-old,” Robin said dryly. “I promise you, Eddie loves you even without your fancy hair.”

“Shut up.”

“Funny, Eddie said the same thing to me yesterday.” She leaned on the sink and tilted her head. “He misses you, you know.”

“Oh really, did he say that?”

“Well,” Robin said, “not with those words.”

“What words did he use?”

“Well,” Robin said again. “He said he doesn’t want to talk to you right now. By the way, what on earth happened between you two? First, you’re all lovey-dovey, and now he doesn’t even want to speak to you. But he refuses to tell me why.”

“Okay, Birdie, first of all, Eddie and I were never ‘lovey-dovey’. We’re not even friends. We shared trauma, I dragged his ass out of the Upside Down and into the hospital, and ever since then he refuses to talk to me. I don’t know why; he’s telling me less than he’s telling you.” Steve walked out of the bathroom into the bedroom of their small apartment, and Robin followed him.

“Hey, I helped you drag his ass out. Group effort.”

“Couldn’t have done it without you.” Steve grabbed his car keys and shoved them into his pocket. “Did you close your window? The whole place is gonna heat up again if you forget.”

“Be right back,” Robin said and disappeared into her room. Steve threw another glance into the mirror, assuring himself that his hair looked fine before Robin returned. He had decided to leave his parent’s place just after the end of the world, and was lucky enough to find an apartment quickly now that nobody wanted to live in Hawkins anymore. Sure enough, Robin had agreed to be his roommate.

“Why do you care so much anyways?” Robin asked as they walked down the stairs side by side. “If you’re not even friends, I mean. Why care that he doesn’t talk to you? You’d have never talked to him voluntarily if it weren’t for his false murder accusations.”

“It’d do you good to mind your own business sometimes,” Steve replied.

“You love it when I stick my nose into your business.” Robin took two steps at the same time and arrived at the bottom of the stairs faster than Steve. “Whatever. You need to talk about this some time, and so does he.”

“Some day I’m sure we will,” Steve lied and unlocked his car. “Hop in. These little shitheads will already be waiting.”

The call from the hospital had come unexpected last night. Robin had answered the phone, and with red cheeks informed Steve that Max had woken up from her coma, and El was with her. She had called everyone else to inform them, and they had agreed to meet up today to visit Max together.

“I’m so glad she’s awake,” Robin said as she fastened her seatbelt. “She’s way too young for all of this. They all are.”

“I’m sorry we got you into this whole mess too, you know.” Steve started the engine. He had been thinking about Robin’s involvement in the Upside Down a lot lately, guilt eating at him. If he had only firmly enough declined Robin’s help in translating the Russian’s code, she might’ve not gotten involved. She wouldn’t be suffering from constant nightmares.

“Nothing to be sorry about,” Robin replied. “You could’ve never cracked that code without me.” She grinned lightly. “And Vecna was no match for my Molotov cocktails.” She imitated throwing a bottle and made a whooshing sound. “That was really fun.”

Steve glanced at her from the side. He knew that she was putting on an act. During the day, she’d do anything to avoid thinking about what had happened to them. She’d pretend like everything was fine, and laughed and made jokes about it. But ever since living with her, he had started to see a different side of hers. A side she never showed, and he had vowed to never tell anyone that she more often than not slept in his bed with puffy eyes after another panic attack.

“You wanna watch a movie tonight?” he asked carefully. Robin hated being babied, but she saw right through him.

“I’m fine, Steve,” she said. “I don’t need distraction. Besides, what if you meet one of those babes in the hospital? You’ll want to take her on a date instead of watching some lame movie with your lame roomie.”

“Eh,” Steve said and shrugged. “The babes can wait. Let’s watch a movie. Anything. Except horror.”

“Boring,” Robin said, but Steve knew she had lost her interest in horror movies in the summer of 1985. “Romance?”

“Even more boring,” Steve declined. “How about Parting Glances? That came out earlier this year, and my father said it was ‘too gay to be allowed on TV’, so it’s probably good.”

“Isn’t that a romance?”

“More of a drama,” Steve said. “You down?”

“Sure.” Robin watched the landscape outside pass by. “I don’t mind watching something gay for once. You don’t get to see that so much here.”

“You might see it soon with Vickie,” Steve replied and grinned. “How’s that going?”

“Nothing’s going. I haven’t really talked to her since volunteering to make sandwiches.”

“But you really want to, don’t you?”

“Yeah.” Robin sighed. “But that doesn’t matter right now.” She pointed at the familiar Byers’ house appearing in the distance. “Look at that, they’re already waiting for you. Like little kids wait for their dad.”

“I’m not their dad.”

“True, you’re more of a mother hen.”

Steve punched Robin’s shoulder and stopped the car next to the house. Will, Dustin and Lucas were impatiently waiting for them, climbing into the backseat as soon as the car stopped.

“Finally,” Dustin complained. “What took you so long?”

“Bet he couldn’t find his hairspray,” Lucas guessed and Robin laughed.

“You’re so predictable, dingus.”

Steve scoffed. “Seatbelts on, or I’m not leaving.”

“Nancy’s driving Mike?” Robin asked and looked at the kids through the rearview mirror. They were more of teenagers now, but to her and Steve they’d always be kids. Innocent, little kids who didn’t deserve to go through all this trauma.

Will nodded. He wasn’t much of a talker, at least not to anyone outside of his group. Steve thought back to the past years since knowing these kids. He was protective of them all, especially Dustin and Max, but he had never really talked much to Will, even though he was the whole reason they were all in this mess in the first place. In that moment, he wished he was closer to the kids than he already was, and he made a mental note to bond more with all of them in the future.

“When we get there, we won’t all go in at once,” he decided. “Max just woke up. She must be confused as hell. Everyone trying to talk to her at once will overwhelm her. Two people, maximum. Got it?”

“Got it,” they said simultaneously.

“Why don’t we wait for what the nurses say when we get there?” Robin suggested. “They probably know best.” She searched for eye contact with Will and nodded toward him. “You gonna be okay? I hear you’re not the biggest fan of hospitals.”

“Yeah,” he said. “That’s in my past.”

Robin gave him a short smile and glanced at Steve, who reciprocated her look. They’ll be okay, he mouthed, and she nodded briefly.

They pulled into the parking lot of the hospital not much later, and before Steve could object, the kids – the teens, he corrected himself - were already hurrying toward the entrance.

“Let them,” Robin said, one hand on his shoulder. “They need to see her.”

“Yeah.” From the corner of his eyes, Steve saw the familiar Chevrolet van park, and Eddie got out, no visible trace from the injuries he obtained in the Upside Down. “Go ahead, I’ll catch up,” Steve said to Robin absent-mindedly and started walking toward Eddie.

When Eddie saw him, he slammed the door to the van shut and headed toward the hospital, avoiding eye contact with Steve.

“Eddie!” Steve called and hurried to catch up with him, finally grabbing his shoulder to stop him. “Eddie,” he said again.

Eddie stared at him, and Steve realized he hadn’t thought of what he wanted to say. “Um,” he stammered, “how are you?” How are you? Who says that? Idiot.

“Worse now.”

“Come on,” Steve said with a sinking heart. “Why are you not talking to me?”

“Should I?” Eddie asked with a raised eyebrow. “We’re not friends, Steve. Thank you for saving my ass, I never asked you to do that, but we are not friends who catch up with each other over tea and biscuits.”

“Over coffee, then?” Steve asked helplessly. “I don’t know what I did to you,” he added when Eddie scoffed. “I know we’re not friends. I’m not asking you to be my friend at all, but we are in this mess together now, all of us. We’re a team now. And you’re part of that team, whether you like it or not.”

“I don’t like it,” Eddie said. “Let it go, Steve. I’m just not interested in talking to you.” He turned around with the intent of walking away, but Steve stopped him.

“Why just me?”

Eddie looked over his shoulder. “What?”

“Why just me? You talk to Robin, you’re obviously here to see Max, so why me? The others had just as much part in dragging you out of the Upside Down as I did, so why?”

“Just drop it.” Eddie turned away again and left him standing there, with no more answers than before.

“You okay?” Robin, who had obviously not gone ahead and instead listened to the conversation, placed a hand on his shoulder. Steve shook it off. “Yeah,” he lied. “Whatever. Let’s just go inside.”

Chapter Text

Will sat down next to Mike in the waiting room, folding his hands in his lap. Mike had been distant since everything that had gone down. “You okay?” he asked, unable to avert his eyes from his best friend.

Mike nodded. “Yeah. Just nervous about Max, you know?”

“She’s okay now,” Will said. “What are you nervous about?”

Mike stayed silent, a blank look on his face as if his mind was far away.

“Is El talking more to you again?” Will asked. “She won’t tell me anything. She’s been really quiet.”

Mike sighed. “Yeah. She’s not talking to me. I keep trying, but…” He trailed off. “I guess she’s still processing. I don’t wanna rush her, ‘cause I love her.”

Will knew he shouldn’t have asked about it. He shouldn’t poke around, asking questions he didn’t want the answer to.

“I mean, I get it,” Mike continued. “She spends all her time here. I think she feels guilty.”

“She’s been having a rough time,” Will agreed quietly. When his sister wasn’t at the hospital, she was talking about Max at home, planning things to do with her when she woke up. More than once, Will had woken up to find El sleeping next to him after nightmares or during sleepless nights. “Now that Max is awake again, she might come around more. She doesn’t need to worry anymore now.”

“Yeah,” Mike said. “I hope so.”

Will decided not to say anything else about the topic. He loved his sister, and unfortunately for him, he loved Mike as well. If only he could tell him the truth, if he could stop lying about his feelings, maybe things would be less tense between them. He was sick of always having to pretend like he wanted El and Mike to be together, sick of cheering them up whenever either one was feeling depressed about their relationship. Maybe he was being selfish, but he was convinced that they would be better off as friends, that El had jumped into this relationship way too quickly while she didn’t even know who she really was on her own, and now the only thing that glued them back together was the painting Mike believed to be from El. Will knew that he could never tell him the truth about it, it was better to keep it a secret and quietly attempt to move on from his unreciprocated love. How he was planning to do that, he wasn’t sure.

Max wasn’t used to feeling helpless. She always knew what to say, had no issues defending herself and loved the occasional sarcasm. And now, her brain couldn’t wrap itself around the idea of having woken up from a coma, everything still felt like it was covered in Styrofoam and her memories were meddled with dreams.

Waking up from a coma, she learned, wasn’t like waking up from a long sleep. It was confusing, she didn’t know what was real and which memories were just a fragment of her imagination. And suddenly all these people she supposedly loved were in her room, one after the other, talking to her, asking her things, hugging her. She knew she loved them all, but she couldn’t make room in her chest for the feeling, too filled was she with anxiety and a constant state of panic and confusion.

She kept trying to focus her eyes on something, anything, but no matter how hard she tried, the room remained in darkness. No matter how often the others told her that it was okay, she didn’t agree with them; it wasn’t okay, none of it was.

The last thing she remembered before waking up was unbearable pain in her whole body, Vecna’s hand stretched out over her face, El nearly defeated next to her. After that, everything was black.

The memory of it was grueling, and it occupied Max’s mind constantly. Was this all she was ever going to see again? It made staying in the hospital even worse. Her throat still hurt like a bitch whenever she tried to talk, so she stopped trying. She couldn’t feel her legs, and her arm was itchy under the heavy cast. Everything was just terrible, nothing would ever be okay again.

“Good to see you, Red.” Someone sat down in the chair Max believed to be opposite her bed. It was Eddie’s voice. “Listen, I know you won’t talk to me more than you’ve talked to any of the others. I just had to tell you something.” He paused for a moment, possibly waiting for Max to say something, but she didn’t. He sighed. “Your mother left.”

Max shifted her eyes to where Eddie’s voice was coming from. Her mom left? Leave to where?

“She said she can’t stand to see you like this, and she was afraid you’d die, so she took off. She might come back if we tell her you made it, but...” his voice trailed off. “It stinks.”

“Yeah,” Max whispered.

“I’m really sorry,” Eddie said, and those words didn’t sound like something Eddie would normally say, but there was something else in his voice. Max couldn’t place it. “Your trailer is still there, furnished and everything, we might have to clean it a bit. And you can come over to my trailer any time, alright?”

Max nodded. The world felt as though it was spinning slower than before, everything passed by in a haze. “Thanks,” she uttered, and she heard Eddie get up and close the door behind him. She sank further into her bed and pulled the blankets up to her chin with her free hand. If this was how her life was going to be, she wasn’t sure if she wanted it.

Maybe she hadn’t been ready to die back in Vecna’s house, but now she was.

The others stayed the whole day, taking turns in coming into her room and talking to her. Max felt the slightest hint of gratefulness for the support, but she pushed it down. What was the point in feeling grateful for being alive when her future looked dim and depressing?

She heard the door open once more and opened her eyes. Not that that’d change anything.

“Hey.” Lucas sat down on the edge of her bed and stayed quiet for a moment. Max didn’t respond. The silence between them felt deafening. “I’m sorry,” he said finally. “You need rest. You don’t need all of us bothering you.”

But before he could get up, Max searched for his hand with her usable hand and tried to look at him. “Stay,” she said, and she hated how weak her voice sounded. “Please.”

“Okay.” His voice sounded uncertain, and he cupped her hand in his. “I’ve really missed you.”

“Don’t act like I died,” Max snapped. “Everyone else does. I want to feel normal.” She cleared her throat, wishing for the pain to stop.

“Do you want water?” Lucas asked carefully, and Max shook her head even though she wanted nothing more than to drink something and relieve her throat of some of the soreness.

“I want to be treated like everyone else.” Even though she couldn’t see Lucas’ face, she knew that he was most likely looking at her with that helpless expression, that need to help her and take care of her. Max turned her head away, hoping that Lucas wouldn’t see the tears starting to form in her eyes. She wasn’t weak, she couldn’t cry about this.

“You can’t fight this one on your own,” Lucas said. “You’re not weak, I know that. You’re stronger than any one of us. But you can’t take this all up on your own, at least for now. We're all here to help you.”

“If you want to help me, you can get me some of my things, so I don’t actually die of boredom in here.” Max turned her head back again, hoping to look somewhat determined. “I want my walk-man and some tapes. Not Running up that hill,” she added. “That’s been ruined for me forever.”

“Okay,” Lucas said. “No problem. You sure you don’t want to drink anything?”

“No.” Max pressed her lips together in a narrow line. “I’m completely fine.”

“Do you want me to leave?” Lucas’ hand felt good around hers, and Max held it tighter.

 “Yes. No. I don’t know.” If there was anything Max hated more than being out of control, it was not knowing what to do. She had so carefully crafted this image of herself of someone who always knew how to act and how to keep her emotions in check, not letting anyone see through her facade. Suddenly, it was all falling apart, and she had no idea how to act anymore.

“I can stay here and be quiet,” Lucas suggested. “Or if you want to see someone else – sorry, I mean, talk to someone else -”

Max scoffed. “You can still use the word ‘see’ with me, Lucas. I may be blind but I’m not allergic to hearing the word.”

Lucas cleared his throat awkwardly. “Okay, if you want to see someone else, I can tell them to come in.”

Max stayed quiet for a moment, staring into the darkness that surrounded her. “No,” she said finally. “I think I just need to be alone for a while.”

“Okay.” Lucas squeezed her hand briefly and got up. Before leaving the room, he paused. “It’s good to have you back.”

“Remember to bring me my walk-man,” Max reminded him. She had no idea how else to pass the time in this boring place with no mental stimulation, without even being able to look out the window. Whenever she was bored at home, she would just look at comics, take her skateboard out or listen to music. Now, she only had one of those options left. Praying inwardly that her legs would recover soon, and she’d regain the feeling in them, Max fell back into her pillow when Lucas left. Not being able to skate would kill her, that much she knew.

“I’m staying,” El said determinedly after Lucas had returned from Max’s room to inform them that she wanted to be alone. “I can just stay out here.” She had spent all her free time in this hospital, she couldn’t stop now. Max needed her now more than ever.

“She doesn’t want to see anyone,” Lucas repeated. “Not even me, and I’m her boyfriend.”

“Are you?” Mike objected, raising an eyebrow. “Weren’t you guys broken up before everything went down?”

“Yeah, but - “

“I don’t care,” El argued. “I’m her best friend. I’m staying.”

“You better figure out who’s staying and who isn’t, ‘cause I’m not making this trip three times for you shitheads,” Steve threw in.

“Nobody’s staying,” Will objected loudly, and everyone looked at him in surprise. “If Max doesn’t want to see anyone, we’re all going home. She doesn’t need to be babied, it’s exactly how you guys treated me two years ago, and it sucks. You’re all worried about her, so am I, but she needs this time on her own. Respect that.” His cheeks turned redder; he wasn’t used to speaking up loudly. “And you,” he said, directed at El, “need to come home. Mom’s really worried about you. We barely see you anymore, you can’t live inside this hospital.”

For a moment, everyone stayed quiet, then El got up from her chair. “Okay,” she mumbled. “You’re right.” Mike followed her example, and soon the others did too, even though worry and misery marked their faces.

“I’ll drive you,” Steve offered. “Nance, Eddie, you got the others?” They nodded, Nancy with a smile and Eddie avoiding his eyes. Steve gestured El and Will to follow, and Robin tagged along without being asked. Everyone knew she and Steve were a package deal now. El wasn’t sure whether they were dating or not, any time someone asked them, Robin would repeatedly tell everyone that they’re just platonic, but they also spent every free minute together, whispering and gossiping about who-knows-what.

With another last look at the large, square building, El got inside the car with Will. Steve looked at them through the rearview mirror before starting the engine. “Are you two okay?” he asked with a concerned voice, and El exchanged a glance with Will.

“Yeah,” her brother claimed. “Why wouldn’t we be?”

“Because you’ve both been involved with the Upside Down the most out of all of us,” Robin said. “Hawkins may be fixed again, but we are not, and the two of you probably have to deal with the most of it.”

Will slightly shook his head at El. “We’re okay,” El lied. It wasn’t just her who was struggling with the trauma that was finally catching up to her, Will was equally as distraught when the sun went down. They often fell asleep next to each other, just to have some form of comfort. Will knew that El would protect him no matter what, even if Vecna himself were to suddenly appear in their room, El would shield him and she would fight, there was no doubt. And El knew that Will would do anything in his power to keep his sister safe.

Robin turned around in her seat as well as the seatbelt allowed her to. “You both can come to us with any problem,” she said. Then, locking eyes with Will in a weirdly intense way, she added, “Any problem.”

Will reciprocated her look with confusion written all over his face. “We’re fine,” he said. “My mom and Hopper are pretty good at getting us through stuff, too.”

“There are some things that you just can’t really discuss with parents,” Robin said. “Non-alternate Dimension related things. For those, we got your back too.”

Steve threw her a side glance and Robin responded with a shrug, an expression on her face that El couldn’t read.

“Noted,” Will muttered and leaned against the window, staring out at the passing houses. El watched him for a moment, wondering what it was that Robin was trying to insinuate. Will would normally share everything with his sister, but sometimes he just got really quiet and left the conversation. In those moments, El felt powerless – when she wasn’t able to use her abilities, she couldn’t do anything for him, and she hated it.

Chapter Text

“You’re really good with them,” Robin said as she slumped down on the couch while Steve put the movie tape into the VCR.  

“Had some practice,” he replied and sat down next to her, remote in his hand. “You’re getting the hang of it too.”  

“Well, they are absolutely adorable. Annoying, but adorable.”  

“Don’t let them hear you say that.” Steve grinned. “They’re not kids anymore.”  

“You’re not a kid either and you don’t mind me calling you adorable,” Robin noted.  

“That’s ‘cause I am.”  

“Really? Not hot?”  

Steve thought for a moment. “I’m both,” he decided. “Just gotta find someone who agrees with me.”  

“Maybe it’d help if you stopped referring to yourself as hot.”  

“Eh.” He shrugged. “She’s out there somewhere. Maybe not in Hawkins.”  

“You wanna leave Hawkins?” Robin looked at him with surprise. Sure, Hawkins wasn’t the greatest place to live, but this was where all their friends were.  

“You don’t? This place is nothing but trauma.”  

“Then why are you still here? You could afford to move elsewhere.”  

Steve shook his head and looked at the TV remote as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. “I can’t go anywhere without you, can I?”  

“Stop it, don’t make me cry.” Robin couldn’t suppress her smile. “No wonder the others think we’re dating.”  

“We’d be a great couple if I was a girl,” Steve joked.  

“I don’t think you’d be a very pretty girl.”  

Steve threw a pillow at her. “I would be beautiful.”  

Robin tilted her head and squinted in his direction. “I don’t see it.”  

“Shut up, Birdie, you’d date a girl with my personality in a heartbeat.”  

“I don’t think I would.” Robin laughed. “Too snobby and vain. Besides, I don’t think you’d wanna date me in the first place.”  

Steve shifted in his sitting position. “And why’s that?”  

“Because I’m nothing like Eddie.” Robin didn’t miss the blush spreading across Steve’s face, looking away to hide it. “Admit it, you like him.”  

“I don’t,” Steve said decidedly. “I enjoyed spending time with him while the world was ending, but that’s over now, and even that was purely out of the need to help him survive. Nothing more.” He pulled a thin blanket over him to stay cozy during the movie and finally turned on the TV. “Let’s just watch the movie.”  

“Alright,” Robin said and raised both her hands with a cheeky grin. “But I’m calling it. You and Eddie, it’s definitely gonna happen.”  

Later that night, Robin was lying in her bed, staring at the ceiling, refusing to close her eyes because any time she did, the image of Vecna and the feeling of the vines closing around her throat washed over her like a wave during a storm. She wondered if this was how Max was feeling all the time now. What was it like to not see anything? Did she just sit in complete darkness? Did her memories play in her mind on a loop? Was she forced to relive her trauma over and over again?  

In the moment, fighting Vecna had felt empowering. Adrenaline had surged through Robin’s body, it had even been a little bit fun, setting the son of a bitch on fire. But now that it was all over, it kept catching up to Robin. Maybe the worst part was not understanding any of it. Sure, she knew of alternate dimensions and monsters and superpowers now, but that didn’t make any of it make sense. It was just something that existed, something that couldn’t be explained, and Robin didn’t like not understanding the correlation of things.  

She knocked on the door to Steve’s room not much later, and entered when she heard his voice calling her in. Without another word, she got under his blankets and he put one arm around her as she rested her head on his shoulder.  

“Can’t sleep either?” he asked, even though he knew the answer.   

“Why are you still up?” Robin asked.  

“Russians. You?”  

“Vecna.”  

They sat in silence for a while, and Robin snuggled up against him until her eyelids became too heavy to keep open. She knew that Steve wouldn’t go to sleep until she was asleep, even if he could. He’d wait for her to doze off and maybe he’d stay awake the rest of the night, drowning his tiredness in black coffee the next morning, or maybe he’d manage to sleep too. Either way, it felt safer to fall asleep in his arms than anywhere else.  

The night was spent similarly in the Byers’ house. Since Joyce and Hopper had decided to move back to Hawkins, the household was one big chaos. Boxes everywhere, messes spreading through the whole house. They all had decided together that there was no point in staying in California if everyone they loved was here and still affected by the Upside Down. It was better to stick together and work through their past together rather than separate the group of teens.  

Will was glad to be back, there was no doubt about it. Even though Hawkins was nothing more than a town filled with trauma and there were many places he refused to go to nowadays – the woods, the fields where they grew the pumpkins and the quarry being a few of them – it was still his home. It was where El became a part of their group, even though he didn’t know about it until way later. It was where he had discovered his passion for art, and it was where Mike lived.  

The only downside of moving back here was that Mike and El didn’t have to do long distance anymore. They could see each other whenever they wanted, and even though Will tried desperately to be happy for his sister and his best friend, he found himself dreading the day when they’d all eventually meet up again as a group. They hadn’t, yet, because El had basically been living at the hospital and she still wasn’t talking a lot to Mike. But Will knew that the day would come when she’d warm up again, and he’d have to watch them be a couple, feigning happiness.  

But right now, in the darkness with nothing more than the weak light of a street lamp from outside the window, he couldn’t even pretend to be happy. He shared his room with El now, and once Jonathan would move out and go to college, he’d take over his older brother’s room. He didn’t mind sharing his room at all. Not with El, she was more than just his sister, she was his best friend.  

“Are you awake?” her voice asked through the darkness, coming from the opposite side of the room.  

“Yeah,” he said.  

“What did Robin mean earlier?”  

Will couldn’t see her in the darkness, but he knew that she had turned her head toward him, intently staring through the night.   

“I don’t know,” he said. He did know what Robin had meant; at least he assumed that he did. He had no concrete proof that Robin suspected anything about him, and he didn’t intend on telling her. “She’s just weirdly intense like that.”  

“She is,” El agreed. “I like her.”  

“Me too.”  

A brief moment of silence fell over them before El raised her voice again.  

“Do you think it’s all over?”  

Will nodded, only to realize El couldn’t actually see him in the dark. “Yeah,” he said. “I don’t feel that connection to the Upside Down anymore. It’s all sealed away for good.” He paused. “But I still keep thinking that it’s not.”  

“Me too.”  

“What if it’s not over? What if we think it is, and then suddenly Vecna knocks on our front door? Well, not knock, but you get what I mean.”  

“He’d probably barge in,” El said matter-of-factly and chuckled a little before returning to her serious state. “He’s dead. He has to be. We didn’t survive all of this just to fight him again.”  

“He has to be,” Will repeated her words. “He is.”  

Another moment of silence.  

“Do you think we’ll ever have a normal life?” El asked finally.  

“No,” he replied. “That’s not possible anymore. But maybe that’s a good thing.”  

“How?”  

“I hate what happened to all of us,” Will said. “But if it hadn’t, if November of ’83 had been a regular November, you wouldn’t be part of our group now. You might still be in Brenner’s hands. If it all hadn’t happened, nobody would’ve searched for me, you wouldn’t have met them on your escape. You would’ve been dragged back to the lab and nobody would ever know of anything. Max wouldn’t be your best friend, you wouldn’t be my sister.”  

“Max would still be okay,” El whispered into the darkness. “If nothing had happened, then the only one suffering would be me. No one else.”  

“You don’t know that,” Will argued back. “Maybe the Upside Down would’ve still bled into our world. You most likely wouldn’t have closed the gate in ’84, and hell would’ve been loose, and Vecna would’ve still gotten his way eventually. Except in that timeline, we wouldn’t have been together to fight it all. We would’ve all just died like almost everyone else.”  

“Maybe,” El replied quietly. “I feel so guilty about it all.”  

Will lifted his blanket and patted on the mattress to signal El to join him, and she did. Once she was under the blankets, Will tried to stop his mind from wandering to alternate timelines and bad memories. “Focus on tomorrow,” he said to El. “You’ll get to see Max again.”  

“Yeah,” El mumbled and closed her eyes.  

Will wasn’t sure if she was actually trying to sleep or only doing it to stop talking about their past. Whatever it was, he promised himself not to doze off until El was asleep.  

Max expected everyone to come barging into her room the next morning, but only El came, sitting down on the chair she complained was very uncomfortable.   

“Where’s everyone?” Max asked in the middle of a long ramble from El about how everything was going to be okay soon, trying to hide the despair in her voice.  

“You said you don’t want to see anyone,” El said. “They want to give you space.”  

Max huffed. “Tell them that I don’t need space anymore.”  

“Okay,” El said quietly.  

“I just don’t want to be babied,” Max kept talking.  

“We worry about you.”  

“What, because I’m practically tied to this bed, unable to move my legs or use my eyes and I’m more dead than anything else?” Max wanted to cross her arms but realized halfway through that she could only use her left arm and let it fall across her stomach. “You don’t need to worry about me. I’m fine.”  

“You’re not.”  

“Yes, I am!” It took her by surprise how loud her voice could get after a long time without talking. “I’m completely fine, if I wasn’t, I’d be dead. You know, the only one who hasn’t treated me like a baby is Eddie and I barely know the guy. Maybe because he nearly died too.”  

“I get it,” El said. “I will do better. Promise.”  

“Thank you.” Max let out a sigh. “It’s shit enough as it is, I don’t need a constant reminder.”  

“Everyone’s getting ready for school,” El said after a while. “Will and I aren’t going back until August and Jonathan is studying for the last exam a lot. He’s not going to Nancy’s college, but some other.”  

“School is still happening? After Hawkins literally split?”  

“Yeah,” El said. “I don’t really want to go back. It wasn’t so good in California.”  

“What a shithole.” Max wished she could read her best friend’s expression in that moment, wished she knew exactly how El was feeling. “By the time you enroll, I might be ready to go back as well. Then we’ll suffer through Math and English together. You’ll just have to read the tasks for me.”  

El stayed quiet for a moment. Max knew what she was going to say, she was just trying to find the right words for it.  

“You don’t have to tiptoe around me just because my eyes decided to stop working,” Max said. “I’m still me.”  

“Do you think you’ll go back to school at all?” El asked finally, a hint of relief in her voice. “I mean, it will be hard for you to keep up.”  

“Have you ever seen me back down from a task just because it was hard? I’m not starting now. My life is shit right now and I’m honestly not even sure if I want to be alive anymore, but I am, so I’m fighting through it.”  

“Don’t say that,” El whispered. “It’s good that you’re alive.”  

“I’ll never look at you again, El. I’ll never see another movie or read another comic on my own. Hell, I might never skate again, you call that good ? It’s all shit. All I see now is either absolutely nothing or the last things I remember before I died. I just want to be independent again.” With every word she said, the frustration grew inside Max’s heart, and she wanted to scream and punch something. It was like her soul was begging to burst out, but her body refused.  

“You will be,” El said decidedly. “You just need to get used to the change, then you won’t need anyone’s help anymore, ever.”  

Max chuckled lightly through the tears she hadn’t realized were forming. El was by her side quickly, sitting down on the edge of the bed and holding her free hand. “We’ll get you there, you’ll skate down the street in no time, even if I have to glue two skateboards to a wheelchair.”  

“That sounds dangerous,” Max chuckled. “I’m down.”  

Chapter Text

The first day of school came faster than any of the teens would’ve liked. It didn’t feel right to just return to school like it was just another day, just another spring break passed. Though the start of the remainder of the year was delayed due to the giant portals to hell that took a while to seal up, everyone but the students agreed that school needed to commence as soon as possible.

Mike was, much like everyone else, deeply uninterested in returning to studying. Why on earth would he need to learn about photosynthesis and grammar when he knew how to defend himself and his friends against supernatural monsters?

But what bothered him most about having to return to school was that Will and El weren’t going to be there with him. He and Will had drifted apart during his time in California, and even with the recent rekindling of their friendship, things still felt weirdly tense between them. And El was barely talking to him, which he couldn’t stand. He understood that she was struggling and trying to come to terms with what had happened to all of them, especially Max, but he felt like that wasn’t the true reason why she wasn’t talking to him. There had to be more.

So, even though he was awfully tired, Mike found himself riding his bike to the Byers’ house early in the morning, fueled by coffee and the desire to make things right between him and his girlfriend. He knew the way to Will’s house by heart, and the time passed quickly.

The sun barely started to rise when he arrived, dropping his bike in the grass and hurrying toward the window he knew to be the one to Will’s and El’s room. He didn’t want to wake the whole house – most importantly, he didn’t want to wake Hopper. Mike was already not his favorite person, even though he had warmed up to the idea of his daughter dating Mike, he was still rather uninterested in talking to him if it wasn’t in an argument.

Mike lightly knocked on the window, grateful that the house didn’t have a second floor that he’d have to climb to somehow. It took him three attempts until someone finally moved inside the room, and a second later, Will’s tired face appeared behind the glass. A quick smile flashed across his face, and he opened the window.

“What are you doing here?” he whispered. “El’s still asleep. It’s so early.”

“I have to go to school soon,” Mike said. “Unfortunately. I wanted to talk to you guys before.”

“To us, or to El?” Will asked and Mike hesitated for a moment.

“Both of you,” he decided, but it sounded uncertain. “We should hang out after school today, all of us.”

The expression on Will’s face was hard to read and the shadows over his face didn’t help. “El’s probably going to Max later,” he said. “Lucas too. He was going to bring her some music. And Dustin was talking about catching up with her too.”

“We can all hang out there, then,” Mike suggested desperately. “I just need -”

“You need to see El,” Will finished his sentence. “Yeah. I can’t wake her up now, we both barely slept.”

“It’s too late for that,” El said, appearing next to Will and yawning. She wiped over her eyes and stretched. “Why are you here?”

Mike hesitated. He didn’t want to discuss his relationship problems in front of Will, but this may be the only chance he had today to talk to El in private. “I need to talk to you,” he said finally.

El eyed him uncertainly and crossed her arms. “Can it wait? I’m really sleepy.” Will glanced at her for a moment with narrowed eyes.

“Please, El - “

“I will call you later, okay?” She turned around and disappeared into the darkness of the room, the sound of a blanket being moved told Mike she was getting back into bed.

“Sorry,” Will murmured. “I’ll... I’ll talk to her. Good luck at school today.” With an apologetic look on his face, he shut the window, leaving Mike alone outside.

-

Will watched as Mike left, running his hands through his hair and muttering something under his breath.

He turned toward El’s bed, where she was already under blankets and facing the wall. The only sound in the room was her irregular breathing, and for a brief moment Will considered going back to sleep as well. But no matter how much he hated that his sister was dating his crush, he couldn’t ignore how unhappy she seemed lately.

“Why aren’t you talking to him?” he asked. She didn’t respond. “El.”

With a sigh, she turned around and propped herself up on her elbows. “I am talking to him.”

“You’re not.” Will sat down on the edge of her bed. “You used to be all around him, constantly, talking about no one else. And now you barely look at him. You can talk to me, if you want to,” he offered helplessly. He didn’t really want to hear about it, but El was still his sister and he’d do anything for her.

El stared through him for a moment with a troubled look on her face, seemingly searching for the right words. “It’s –,” she paused, “it’s different.”

“What is?”

“Everything,” she whispered. “Hawkins is different. I am different.”

“Does that scare you?”

El hesitated, then she shook her head. “No. Staying the same scares me.”

“So, you think that your relationship with Mike isn’t changing enough?” Will tried to understand her, but it was difficult to make sense of what she was saying.

“I wanted him to tell me that he loves me,” El said. “That’s how relationships work. But now I can’t say it.”

“Every relationship is different,” Will said, trying to remember what his mom had once told Jonathan. “Maybe yours just works differently.”

“No.” She fell back into her pillow, covering her face with her hands. “I can’t say it.” She moved her hands to look at Will. “What do you think of us? Of Mike as my boyfriend?”

Will shifted uncomfortably. Here it was, his chance to be honest. But he knew that being honest would most likely drive a wedge between him and El. Not just El, but everyone else too if it came out.

“Be honest,” she said when he didn’t reply. “Please.”

Will cleared his throat awkwardly and decided on telling half the truth. “Okay,” he said, staring at the wall instead of facing El. “I think that you got into this relationship way too quickly. You had barely gotten out of the lab, and you started dating almost immediately. You didn’t even know who you were on your own. I think you still don’t. You’re defining yourself by your powers and by your relationship with Mike. But there’s so much more to you.” He paused, hesitatingly looking at El, but she kept her eyes on him, listening to everything he was saying with an undefinable expression. “You’re kind, and funny, and smart. But you don’t have any dreams. You don’t have any idea what you want to do with your life outside of your relationship. It’s fine not to have a plan, we’re still young. But you need to ask yourself who you are outside of Mike. I think you could be much more than you already are.”

El started at him thoughtfully when he ended his monologue. Her mind anywhere but here, she nodded slowly. “I need to break up with him.”

“Whoa, I didn’t say that.” Will raised his hands in retaliation. “I don’t wanna be responsible for any fighting between you two.”

“You’re not. But you are right. Mike and I are good as friends. Everything else is just… too much.” El fiddled with her hands and looked up to Will as if looking for his approval.

Will attempted a smile to show his support. On the inside, he was jumping up and down with excitement, but he couldn’t let that show on his face. “Whatever you do, I’ll support you.”

“Thanks,” she muttered. “Now I just want to sleep.” She yawned as if underlining her point.

Once El had fallen asleep again, Will kept tossing and turning in his bed. He wasn’t sure what to feel – the excitement about Mike being single again soon mixed with the disappointing knowledge that no matter his relationship status, he wouldn’t be interested in Will in that way. Aside from that, Will felt guilty for practically having talked El into making this decision, yet happy that he wouldn’t have to watch them being in love anymore.

-

The class was eerily empty. Aside from Mike, Lucas and Dustin, only six other people were in the classroom, which made the rhythmic noise of a pencil tapping against the desk even louder.

“Dude,” Lucas muttered to Mike, “will you stop it?”

With an annoyed glance toward his friend, Mike dropped the pencil and exhaled deeply.

“What’s the matter with you?”

“Nothing,” Mike groaned, earning himself a glance from the teacher. They were supposed to silently do their assigned tasks, which were mostly just repetition from before spring break, so Mike didn’t see the point. He didn’t understand them before the break, he wouldn’t understand them now. “El is still avoiding me,” he whispered to Lucas. “I can’t get her to just be honest.”

“Maybe give her some time,” Dustin joined the hushed conversation. “Just an idea. It’s only been two months since the end of the world.”

“Exactly,” Mike said. “Two months to tell me what the hell is wrong with us. I don’t understand it. One second, she commissions Will to paint something for me, then she just ignores me.”

“She’ll warm up again soon,” Lucas offered. “She always does.”

“Yeah, or she fell in love with painting-Mike and realized that real-Mike has less to offer,” Dustin suggested sarcastically. “Relax. You’ll make up, as you usually do. And if you need advice in leading an Off-On relationship, Lucas is your guy.”

“Shut up,” Lucas complained. “Max and I are fine. We wanted to see a movie together before all of this went down. Although that’s gonna be harder now.”

“Dude,” Mike and Dustin said at the same time.

“What? She told me it’s okay to talk like that,” Lucas defended himself. “She said she doesn’t want to be treated any differently than before.”

Mike picked his pencil up again and resumed the tapping noise, staring at the wall. “I’ll meet El today,” he decided. “I need us to fix this. I’m gonna fix it.”

Chapter Text

Robin woke up with a headache that morning. Her hair sticking to her face and feeling more tired than the evening before, she couldn’t remember falling asleep at all. It had been another night of tossing and turning, and it took her a while after waking up to realize she was in Steve’s bed again, but alone this time.

Noise came from the kitchen. Robin’s glance got caught on the mirror on Steve’s wardrobe on her way out, and she rubbed over face and pushed the hair out of it. “You look like shit,” she mumbled to herself, red cheeks and dark circles under her eyes. She stared at herself for a few seconds, before deciding to avoid looking at herself for the remainder of the day.

“Morning,” Steve greeted her when she entered the kitchen. “I’m making pancakes.”

“Did I wake up in another universe?” Robin asked jokingly and glanced into the bowl with the ingredients. “Since when do you make breakfast?”

“Since you’ve had a shit night and I wanted to make sure you have a nice morning.” Steve stirred around in the bowl.

Robin hopped on the counter. “I don’t remember having a bad night.”

“Really?” Steve turned on the stove. “You had like three consecutive panic attacks.”

“Did I?” Robin squinted, staring at nothing in particular. Slowly, the details of last night came back to her. She vaguely remembered waking up in cold sweat, a tight feeling in her chest and panic cloaking her. “I don’t remember going to your room.”

Steve slowly poured the pancake batter into the pan. “That’s because,” he said and paused to focus on what he was doing, “I brought you there.”

“More context, Stevie.”

He gave her the look he always had whenever she called him Stevie, but took a breath to elaborate while continuing his pancake-making process. “I was awake anyway. Couldn’t sleep either, and when I heard you hyperventilating in your room, I obviously went in.”

“No knocking? Rude,” Robin joked lightly.

“Anyways, you were practically clinging to me the whole time. I got you a paper bag to breathe into and I stayed with you, but anytime you seemed to get better it just started to get worse again almost immediately after. And you were barely present. So, I got you out of bed and into mine, where you conked out almost immediately.”  He poured the last bit of batter into the pan. “Figured I’d let you sleep there because you tend to be calmer in my room than in yours.”

“That explains why I feel absolutely exhausted.” She slid off the counter as Steve turned off the stove and grabbed the plate with pancakes. “Well, we should probably continue our job search today.” She left the kitchen to put the pancakes on the small dining table. “We really need some money.”

“Birdie.” Steve followed her. “Stop it.”

“Stop what?”

“Stop pretending like everything is okay. Like you’re okay. It doesn’t do you any good.” He sat down next to her.

Robin focused on breakfast rather than his searching eyes. “I’m completely fine, Steve. I just want to find a job to pay rent.”

“I get that you want to avoid thinking about it, I do too,” Steve said. “But you’re not fine. None of us are.”

“I am.”

“A mentally healthy person doesn’t endure panic attacks nearly every night. What happened to all of us was shit, but the others don’t act like absolutely nothing happened. You need to accept your trauma.”

Robin dropped her fork with a clatter and leaned back in her chair. “If I don’t act like nothing happened, that’d mean it actually did happen and I’m not ready to face that, okay?”

She couldn’t stand the sympathetic look on Steve’s face, and she closed her eyes as she took a deep breath. “I am fine. I can handle myself during the day, and that’s the only time I get to avoid reliving the panic I felt when we all nearly died. When we couldn’t help each other anymore because of his vines. Or when we got kidnapped and drugged and I had to watch as they beat you up. You want to constantly think about that? Be my guest. I don’t.”

Steve stood up without responding, and Robin was met by the same feeling she always got whenever she disagreed with someone – the expectation of having disappointed, of having said something wrong and having ruined something good. Her thoughts were about to start spiraling again when Steve returned with a bottle of maple syrup and a pack of powdered sugar, placing them in front of her.

“Alright,” he said. “Fuel up. You’re gonna need energy for all those jobs we’re going to apply to today.” He opened the syrup and poured some over her pancakes, topping it with the powdered sugar. “And in the evening, if it's warm enough, we’ll go to the lake.”

“We could ask Eddie to join,” Robin suggested. “He’s been so miserable; he needs some cheering up.”

“We could not,” Steve said. “He’d say No anyways. But you should ask Vickie. And Nancy.”

“Don’t tell me you’re still convincing yourself that you wanna get back together with her.”

“I don’t. In fact, I’ll invite everyone. Including Jonathan and the kids.” Steve crossed his arms and put on an indifferent face.

“And Eddie?”

“No.”

“Because you like him?” Robin smirked.

“Okay, fine. You can ask him, but he won’t come.” He grabbed one of the pancakes as well. “Gotta eat first, though. We’ll drown otherwise.”

A small, grateful smile tugged at Robin’s lips. “Thanks,” she muttered.

He smiled too, and even though Robin could tell that there was still worry in his eyes, she knew that he was only trying to help her. “Eat up, Birdie,” he said. “I wanna head out soon.”

Now that her vision was gone, Max noticed that she experienced every other sense far more intensely. It was a refreshing change of pace to be out of the hospital room, even if it had to be in a wheelchair – for now, she told herself.

“I feel like my grandma,” Max said to Lucas, who was pushing her wheelchair through the hospital grounds. “She had to use a wheelchair too when she got too old to walk.” It was warm, birds were singing in the trees and for a moment, Max was glad not to be back at school yet. Her Walkman and headphones were resting in her lap. She refused to leave them in the room, having been the only distraction from her daily life.

“You’re gonna be able to do it yourself soon once your arm is healed,” Lucas said. “It’s probably hard with one arm.”

“It is,” she answered and with a small smile thought back to last evening when she got to sit in the wheelchair for the first time. “I tried yesterday. I could barely move an inch.”

“You’re not used to it yet,” he said helpfully. “Someday, you’re gonna be faster than all of us on our bikes. You’re gonna win every race.”

“You think I’ll always have to use this?” The smile vanished from her face. It was depressing enough that her own belief she would walk again someday was starting to fade, but if Lucas didn’t believe in her? He always had.

“Maybe not always,” Lucas said, but Max could tell he wasn’t sure of his words. “Either way, we’ll have fun. We’ll still be great together.” He paused for a moment. “Speaking of – can we talk about that for a moment?”

Max pressed her lips together and exhaled. “It’s not like I can run away from you, so by all means.”

Lucas stopped pushing the chair and Max heard him sitting down on something. A bench? A rock? God, how she hated not seeing her surroundings.

“Before… all this, we made plans to see a movie together, do you remember that?”

“Remember? It’s all I think about.” Aside from the haunting visions of Vecna’s hand stretching out over her face, the immense pain from breaking multiple bones at the same time and the anxiety-inducing memory of El coming to her rescue and failing, that movie date was the only thing Max’s mind wandered back to.

“I keep thinking,” Lucas said. “Are we still doing that once you’re out of the hospital?”

She hesitated. Of course she wanted to, of course she had missed him. She hadn’t pushed him away because she didn’t like him. Ever since Billy died, her life and her emotions had just been too complicated to fit anyone else in. She’d only be a burden on him.

“I get it if you don’t want to,” Lucas said when she didn’t respond. He sounded disappointed. Why was everything to do with him so complicated? So great, yet so complicated.

“Do you want to?” Max asked in return.

“Of course I do. Max, nothing about my feelings for you has changed.” He took her hand, and Max assumed he was looking at her intently. “You still mean the world to me.”

“Can you promise me that’s not going to change? When I won’t be able to walk, or actually watch a movie with you? I will never look at you again. I will never skate again. Is that what you want? You could just go off and date someone who’s actually able to give you the relationship that you want.”

“Max,” he said again, his hands closing around hers, “you are exactly what I want. I want this, all of this, because it’s all part of you. I’ll still want you no matter what happens. Even if you’ve changed.”

“That’s the problem,” Max said and tried to arrange the words in her head, so they’d make sense to him. “It’s like you only think of a perfect future for us, one where all of our struggles don’t affect us at all. But they do, and things aren’t always going to stay the same. They’ve already changed, and I have too. I’m not that middle-schooler anymore.”

“Neither am I,” he said. “Just give it some thought, okay? Please.”

“I will,” she replied quietly. “But I can’t promise you anything.”

“I know.” He let go of her hand and sighed. “I won’t stop caring about you, no matter what your answer is.” He stayed quiet for a moment, waiting for her to respond, but Max didn’t know how to. “By the way,” Lucas continued, “Steve called earlier. He and Robin are going to the lake later today, and they’re inviting everyone. Maybe the nurses will let you go too. Just for one evening.”

“They won’t,” Max said. She had asked them before to leave the premises for at least an hour, and she had been met with the answer she had feared. “They’ll only let me leave in company with a parent or guardian since I’m still a minor.”

“Maybe we can reach your mom – “

“Don’t even try to. She’s made her choice. If she wants to come back, she will.” Max wished she could cross her arms, the best she could do was rest her healthy arm across her stomach. “Hopper will sign for me once I’m being released, and as far as the hospital staff is concerned, my mom is on a work trip, returning soon.”

“And they’ll just let Hopper sign for you?”

“I guess,” she said and shrugged. “Since he’s got a whole deal with the government to keep their secrets, I think he can pull some strings.”

“Then he must be able to accompany you to the lake,” Lucas suggested. “I’ll ask him.”

“Lucas – “

“No But, I’m doing this. You’ll get to see something else for once. If you’re well enough to be pushed around in a wheelchair on the hospital premises, you’re well enough to sit by a lake.”

“I can’t go into the water anyways,” Max objected. “You want me to just sit there and listen to you have fun without me?”

“I want you to sit in the grass with us and feel something other than bedsheets and sweat from your cast.”

Max rolled her eyes and sighed, but she couldn’t suppress the smile on her lips. “Okay, fine. Go ahead and try. I doubt they’ll let me outside.” Then, she added, “I wouldn’t mind some ice cream. Strawberry.”

“We’ll make it happen,” Lucas said, his smile audible in his voice.

“Good luck,” Max said and grinned lightly. “Now, would you mind wheeling me back around? It’s the only way of moving I got outside of the nurses stretching my legs, so they don’t degenerate.”

Chapter Text

“I’ll drive you back in two hours,” Hopper said as Lucas and El were helping Max out of the car and into her wheelchair. Max still wasn’t entirely sure how Lucas had managed to convince Hopper to let her do this, and even though she would never admit to it, she was glad that he did.

“Can’t it be three?” she objected. “Everyone else will stay way longer anyways.”

There was a brief silence which served for exchanged glances between Lucas and the chief.

“I may not see you, but I can practically hear your eyes move,” she said.

“Alright,” Hopper said. “Three. But I can’t push any longer. And if you do anything stupid like trying to roll yourself into that lake, you are never going anywhere again. Got it?”

“Got it,” the three said simultaneously.

El waved after the car as Hopper was leaving, and Lucas started pushing the wheelchair over the grass. The others were already there – Max could hear the voices of Robin, Steve, Mike, Dustin and Will.

“Is Nancy coming?” Robin’s voice came somewhere from the left.

“I think she’s studying,” Steve replied. “She said she can’t fall behind now.” His voice came closer. “Good to see you,” he said to Max. “Lucas said you weren’t sure if you could come.”

“I wasn’t sure if I wanted to come,” Max replied. “He convinced me. Somehow. And don’t you guys dare to babysit me. If anyone babies me, I will end you. I can still do that.” Turning to El, she added, “Help me get on the grass?”

El obliged immediately, there was nothing her best friend wouldn’t do for her. “You want a towel or sit in the grass?” she asked while heaving her out of the wheelchair, careful not to put any pressure on the cast around her right leg.

“Grass, please.” Only a few moments later, she felt the blades of grass under her hands as El slowly let go of her. It felt nice – for once not feeling the hospital bed and the dry air from the ventilation systems.

“There’s a rock right behind you, you can lean on that,” El informed her. “You got it?”

“Yeah. Thanks.” Max slowly leaned back, not quite used to having to rely on other senses yet and afraid to hit her head on the rock. El sat down next to her while the others started to unpack their things.

“Hey, El?” Max turned her head toward her best friend. “Describe the lake to me?” Max felt small having to ask El to be her second pair of eyes. She remembered having been to the lake a couple of times in ’85, but she had never really paid that much attention to what anything really looked like in detail.

“The water is kind of green-ish,” El said. “A lot of algae, I think. But not too much to not swim in it. And the sun is still up, I can see light on the water. Reflecting. And there are some small rocks around the shore. Robin is collecting some right now. I don’t know why.” She chuckled a little. “There are some other people here also. On the other side of the lake. They are swimming.”

“Lucas thinks I’ll never walk again,” Max said suddenly. “He didn’t say it with those words. But he did. Do you think I’ll be stuck to this wheelchair forever?”

She felt El shift next to her. “I don’t know,” she said. A little further off, the boys were laughing about something, and Max wished she could join them. “Maybe you will walk again soon. I mean, your leg is just broken, right?”

Max shook her head. “It is broken, but I can’t feel anything in either of them. I don’t feel the grass on my skin right now, and whenever the nurses do their physical therapy with my other leg, I don’t feel that either. Anything below my waist.” She stared ahead. “I’ve been telling myself it’s all temporary. But it’s been over two months. And even though I’ve only been awake for a week and a half or so, if the feeling in my legs was supposed to come back, it would’ve done so by now.”

“What is it like?” El asked curiously. “Not feeling your legs.”

“It’s weird. I’m not used to it. Like, I want to move my leg, but I just can’t, and that’s strange.” Max realized she had been ripping out handfuls of grass while talking and forced her hand to let it go. “I guess I’ll get used to it eventually.”

“You’ll make it work,” El said confidently. “You always know what to do. And maybe you will walk again. You came back to life; you can walk again.”

“Yeah, but that was all your doing,” Max reminded her. “I’d have died if it weren’t for you, and the others interrupting Vecna’s grip on me. He had me, El. The last thing I remember seeing was that bastard's hand over my face. And then… I woke up in Lucas’ arms and I couldn’t see anything. It was scary as fuck.” She turned to face El again. “I’m not as brave as you might think.”

“Max,” El said and moved closer to her. “You showed me who I could be. You helped me become stronger. And if you gave me all that strength, you have that same strength inside you. You just need to find it again.”

“I don’t know if I can.”

“I do,” El said. “We will all help you.”

“I’d rather if only you helped me. I don’t need everyone pitying me. At least I know that you’re not.”

“That’s okay,” she said. “Just me, then.”

“Wouldn’t you rather go swimming with the others?” Max asked when she heard a splash.

“No,” El said. “I can’t swim. I can only float on my back.”

Max smiled a little and leaned against her best friend, ready to enjoy an evening in the sun with those she loved most, when they got interrupted.

“El,” Mike said, casting a shadow over Max’s face. “Can I talk to you?”

“Move, Wheeler, you’re disturbing my suntan,” Max complained and gestured him to leave.

“Okay,” El said to him, and for a moment, there was silence.

“Oh, sorry, guys,” Max said sarcastically. “Let me just get out of your way.”

“Sorry,” El whispered to her and got up. “I’ll be back soon.”

Mike led El over to a spot in the shade. He wasn’t entirely sure how to start this conversation, all he knew was that he had to get through it somehow. The last serious talk they had was before El was taken away, and a short conversation in the Surferboy van on their way back to Hawkins, but even then, El had avoided even looking at Mike for too long.

For a moment, they stood in awkward silence, neither one sure of how to begin, until Mike broke the ice. “I miss you,” he said simply, because what else could he say that was truer than that? He barely saw her anymore, and when he did, things didn’t feel right between them. “Tell me how to fix us.”

“Mike – “ El sighed and crossed her arms, shifting her stance and looking over to where Max was sitting, leaning on the rock and basking in the sun.

“Please, El. I don’t understand what’s wrong between us.”

She turned her head back toward him. “I don’t know,” she whispered and glanced at her shoes. “We are too different.”

“Different? In what way?” Mike liked to believe that he and El were similar in many ways and that their shared memories meant something. They had shaped them both.

“Think about it,” El replied. “We both did not get to be kids. I did not have a childhood. Yours was cut short. We never learned what it means to just be us.” She glanced at Mike, who didn’t know how to process what he was hearing. “I think we need to learn that first.”

“What are you saying?” He could feel his heart beating faster against his ribcage, and he shoved his hands into his pockets, not knowing what else to do with himself.

“I don’t know what I want to do with my life outside of our relationship,” El said. “I think I need time to figure it out.”

“So, that’s just it? You’re breaking up with me?”

El nodded slowly. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I don’t want to lose you. But I don’t know who I am. I can’t find that out like this.”

“Crap.” Mike buried his face in his hands for a moment before taking a deep breath and running his hands through his hair. “I don’t get it. Two months ago, everything was fine.”

“A lot can change in two months,” El said. “But even back then, it wasn’t fine. I just didn’t know it yet.”

“You were upset because I never said I love you.” Mike pressed his lips together. “Now you’re saying you don’t love me anymore?”

“Of course I do.” She tilted her head slightly and raised her brows with a small smile on her lips. “You are important to me, Mike. But I need to learn how to love myself. And the world. I don’t know anything outside of you.”

“What was the point of the painting, then?”

Her smile fell. “What painting?”

“The painting, El. There’s only one.” Did she not remember? The painting was the one gesture that made Mike feel like she wasn’t going to forget about him. Did it just not mean that much to her when she commissioned it?

“What painting, Mike?”

“You know, the one you had Will make for me. With us as a group – me, Lucas, Will and Dustin - me being ‘the heart’ and all that.” Mike stared at El and El stared at Mike. “Will said you commissioned it for me.”

Slowly, El shook her head. “I never asked Will to paint anything. But…” she trailed off.

“What? But Will said – “

Her face lit up briefly as she glanced over to Will and back at Mike. “He said I asked him to make it? What else did he say?”

Mike thought back to the conversation with his best friend in the van. “He said that you don’t want to lose me. And that you feel like a mistake because you’re different. That you’ll always need me.”

El raised her hand to her forehead for a moment. “You can’t ask Will about this.”

The confusion inside Mike’s head grew. “I don’t get it,” he said. “You just broke up with me, I found out that my best friend is apparently lying to me, and now you’re telling me I can’t talk to him about it? Don’t you always want me to talk about stuff?”

“Yes,” El muttered and glanced over to the group again. “Not yet. Let me talk to him first.”

“I don’t understand – “

“I do,” El said and looked at him sternly. “I think I do. I will talk to him. “

“Can’t you just tell me what’s going on? He’s my best friend.”

“He’s my brother.”

Mike glanced over at Will, who was currently trying to fight Dustin and Lucas against being pushed into the water. The idea that his best friend was capable of lying to him for whatever reason didn’t sit right. Their whole motto of the group was Friends don’t lie. He’d never have expected Will out of all people to break that promise. “Fine,” Mike decided. “I’m not sure I want to talk to him at all now, anyways.”

“That’s exactly why I need to talk to him first,” El said. “You snap before you think. I will talk to him, and you need to let him come to you. Promise?”

Mike didn’t reply.

“Mike. Promise?”

He scoffed. “Fine. Promise. I won’t snap at Will.” He shifted his glance to El again. “Are we okay, though?”

“I am still your friend,” El said. “I will never stop being your friend. Maybe some day we can work as a couple again, but not now.”

Mike exhaled. The violent beating in his chest had stopped, and he nodded slowly. “Yeah. Um, I’m just gonna go home.”

“Okay,” El said quietly and showed him a brief smile. “See you soon?”

“Yeah. Have fun with the others.” He raised his hand awkwardly as he turned away, wondering what the hell he was going to do with his life now.

Chapter Text

Eddie didn’t like lakes. 

He never had, and even less now that being near one reminded him of Patrick’s floating body, bone after bone snapping in half. Just like Chrissy. The image of her murder was still glued to his mind, unchanging, grueling. He hadn’t slept well in a long time. 

When Robin had called to invite him to the lake, he had declined. Any other place, he’d meet her. But then, Robin had mentioned that Steve was coming. 

Now, Eddie was staring at the lake from a distance, watching as the kids he’d learned to love jumped into the water, and reconsidered his decision to come here. He wasn’t entirely sure why he had come here at all. Steve’s name had sparked something inside his heart that he couldn’t name. 

He was meant to ignore Steve. He didn’t want to talk to him, be friends with him or even be near him. And yet, when he spotted him by the lakeshore, helping Robin collect rocks, he couldn’t stop himself from walking toward them. His legs were moving almost autonomously, carrying him toward his best friend and the one guy he didn’t want to see. 

There was still time to turn back. Nobody would need to know he had come here at all, he could just stay the ignorant ass in Steve’s mind. “Shit,” he murmured when Robin spotted him with a bright face, a ton of rocks in her arms and waving him over. 

“Eddie!” she shouted and smiled widely, dropping a couple of her rocks while she waved. Steve said something to her, then turned toward Eddie and nodded slightly. “You better have brought some swimwear,” Robin said as she was walking toward him. “’Cause you’re going into the water, one way or another.” 

“Why the rocks?” Eddie nodded toward the collection in her arms. “Are you planning to build a house here?” 

“No reason,” Robin said lightly. “Hey, by the way, Steve wanted to invite you, so go talk to him.” 

“You’re full of shit.” Eddie picked one of the pebbles in her arms and inspected it. “Nice rock.” 

“Keep it,” Robin said as she dropped the rest of the stones on the ground and sat down next to them, Eddie joining her. “Okay, maybe he didn’t want to invite you. But he didn’t object when I did. Total crush, if you ask me.” 

“Why do you want this so desperately?” Eddie leaned back on his hands, looking at Robin mostly to avoid seeing Steve still by the shore, shouting something about safety in the water to the kids. “I mean, why do you care? Steve and I have nothing in common.” 

“You have a lot in common,” Robin said. “And you were totally flirting with him.” 

“When was I flirting with him?” 

“Um, big boy? Hello? Who says that?” She grinned and fist bumped his arm. “And he was flustered. I literally watched all of the blood in his body gather in his face. And maybe some other areas, too, who knows?” She winked.  

“Well, excuse me for having loosely flirted with him when the world was about to end. Can you blame me? I thought we were all going to die for sure.” 

“He likes you, Eddie,” Robin said decidedly. “I live with that dingus, and he gets flustered any time I mention you. Plus, he hasn’t brought home any girls. And before this all went down, he went on a ton of dates with a ton of floozies. I could barely keep up with all the names.” 

“But why is this important to you at all?” Eddie asked. “Steve and I are never going to happen. I don’t want it to, and he doesn’t want it to.” 

“Mark my words, it will happen,” Robin decided. “It’s important because you’re both into each other and too afraid to admit it. And since you won’t tell me why on earth you’re ignoring him, I have to force you two together. It’s for your own good.” 

“I’m begging you, drop it.” 

“You’ll thank me later.” Robin attempted a smile, but suddenly stared right through Eddie with big eyes. “Did you invite Vickie?” 

Eddie turned to see what she was looking at. The red-haired girl Robin had a desperate crush on walked through the grass toward them, a large bag over her shoulder and the brim of a straw hat throwing a shadow over her face. She smiled when she spotted Robin and waved. 

“I did,” Steve said, suddenly appearing next to them. “You’re welcome.” 

Robin, more flustered than Eddie had ever seen her before, got up and patted down her pants. “How do I look?” she asked, then she kneeled down again and started searching through the pile of pebbles. “Quick, which one is the nicest?” 

“You wanna give her a rock?” Steve raised an eyebrow. 

“It’s a lesbian thing,” Eddie explained for Steve and grinned. “At least it’s a this lesbian thing. Here, pick that one.” He handed Robin a smooth rock with greenish hues and brown spots. 

“Thanks,” she said and jumped to her feet again. “Oh my God, I can’t do this, I can’t talk to her.” 

“She’s gonna be here any second,” Steve said and gave Robin a push forward. “Go talk to her.” 

Robin took a deep breath and nodded, taking a few excruciatingly slow steps toward her crush, pebble clutched in her fist. Eddie watched as she approached the girl, who smiled widely when Robin presented her with the rock. 

“You think she’ll ever have to guts to ask her out?” Steve asked and sat down next to Eddie. 

He only shrugged, reminding himself that he didn’t want to talk to Steve, and he only came here to see Robin. There was no part of him that wanted to speak with Steve. Absolutely none. 

“Come on,” Steve said. “Just tell me why you’re not talking to me. I can’t stand this.” 

“Why?” Eddie asked without looking at him. “We’re not friends.” 

“Why aren’t we?” Steve replied. “We could be. We went through shit together, man. Maybe that doesn’t make us friends, but it does make us allies. That wasn’t all for nothing.” He held up one of the rocks on the ground with a charming smile on his face. “Peace offering?” 

“No, thanks,” Eddie said and tried to sound as cold as he could. 

“At least tell me why you’re so pissed.” 

“I’m not pissed at you.” 

“Then what else is it?” Steve took Eddie’s hand and placed the rock inside it, closing his fingers around it. The touch sent a shiver down Eddie’s spine. 

“Nothing.” 

“Eddie.” 

Eddie groaned. “Fine. But only because Robin keeps pestering me about it.” 

Steve adjusted his position and looked at Eddie intently, curiosity and charm in his eyes. God, why was he so hot? Eddie shook his head to get rid of the thoughts creeping into his mind. 

“Ever since you dragged me out of the Upside Down, my life’s been worse than before.” Eddie opened his hand to drop the pebble on the ground. “It already sucked. And then, your hero-complex refused to let me die when I was supposed to die, and now I’m stuck with all this trauma. I can barely look at my trailer without seeing Chrissy. It took everything to come here today because I keep seeing Patrick. And the whole town, well, what’s left of it anyways, is still convinced I’m a murderer.” 

“That’s it?” Steve asked with surprise. “You’re pissed because I wouldn’t let you die?” 

“I’m not pissed, like I said. I’m just not interested in being friends with the one person who brought me back to a life that holds nothing for me.” Eddie shrugged. 

“That’s ridiculous.” 

“Maybe it is. But that’s just how things are now. So, would you please leave me alone to sulk?” 

Steve scoffed and got up. “If that’s what I get for saving your life, fine. You don’t need to ever talk to me again.” 

“Wasn’t planning to.” 

Without another word, Steve turned around and walked off, and for a brief moment, Eddie felt awful. Not about his choice to not befriend Steve, but about only telling half the truth. It was better this way, he told himself. Lying was easier than facing the truth.  

“So, Steve invited you?” Robin spread out a towel and sat down with Vickie, facing the lake. Her heart was hammering inside her ribcage and all her energy went towards remaining somewhat calm. 

“He was very insistent that I come,” Vickie replied with a smile. “I wasn’t sure why he asked me, I don’t really know him at all. Or any of your friends. I mean, he seems nice enough. Why are you friends with a bunch of kids? Robin?” 

She snapped her fingers in front of Robin’s face, who forced herself to rip her eyes away from Vickie’s face. “Sorry,” she mumbled, “kinda zoned out there. What did you say?” 

Vickie smiled even wider. She had dimples when she smiled, and her blue eyes lit up, and she had faint freckles on her nose, and her nose wrinkled when she laughed, and –  

“Robin? You keep zoning out.” 

Robin cleared her throat. “I’m okay, sorry.” Get it together. “Um, I’m friends with kids because Steve kind of adopted them all. They hang out with us a lot. They’re all really sweet.” 

“That’s really nice,” Vickie said and crossed her legs, leaning back on her hands. She let her eyes wander over the lake for a moment before getting caught on Max sitting on the ground next to her wheelchair, one arm and leg in a cast. “What happened to her?” 

“Oh, um,” Robin stammered, trying to find a way to explain Max’s injured limbs without revealing the existence of alternate dimensions and bone-snapping, psychotic lunatics with mindpowers. “That’s Max,” she said slowly. “She, um, she fell. Real bad. Don’t ask her about it, though, she’s a bit sensitive about it.” Great save, idiot.   

“Got it,” Vickie said. “I like her hair,” she added, nodding toward El. “I shaved my hair too a while ago. It’s growing out now, it’s a bit of a mess, but I kind of like it. My ex-boyfriend didn’t like it when I shaved it all. He said it doesn’t look feminine enough, but it’s my hair, you know? And it’s growing out even softer now. Besides, it’s a lot easier to take care of, and – “ She pressed her lips together and gave Robin an apologetic look. “Sorry. I’m talking too much, aren’t I?” 

“Not at all,” Robin breathed. “I like your hair. It suits you.” No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t wipe the smile off her face. 

“Thanks,” Vickie replied with blush across her nose. “So, you and Steve?” 

“What about me and Steve?” 

“You’re dating, right?” Vickie pulled her legs to her chest and looked at Robin with a tilted head. “Everyone’s saying it.” 

“What? No, no, no. Not at all,” Robin corrected her. “No way. Steve and I are purely platonic. He’s great, but, um, I kind of like someone else.” Why did you say that, you absolute moron?  

“Cool, cool,” Vickie muttered. “Do you wanna tell me?” The sunlight reflected in her eyes, so blue, almost like the sea, Robin was sure she could drown in them. Was she wearing lip gloss? Her lips looked so inviting, all Robin wanted was –  

“Robin, you’re doing it again.” 

“Christ, I’m sorry,” she apologized and chuckled awkwardly. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” 

“So, do you wanna tell me about it?” 

“Tell you about what?” 

“Your crush,” Vickie reminded her and laughed a little. “Are you sure you’re okay?” 

“Absolutely,” Robin confirmed with confidence she hoped would cover the nervousness in her voice. “Never been better.” 

“So, who is it? Who do you like?” 

“Um,” Robin said. “Hey, I hope you brought some swimwear in that giant bag. Everyone’s gonna swim, we should too.” Without waiting for Vickie’s response, she pulled her shirt over her head, thanking her past-self for putting on her bathing suit under her clothes this morning, kicked off her pants and sprinted toward the water. 

The sun was still high, and soon enough, everyone, except for Max and El, was enjoying the refreshing lake water, and Robin couldn’t keep her eyes off Vickie, no matter how hard she tried. 

Chapter Text

Later that evening, after Max had been dropped off at the hospital again, Will kept catching El staring at him. She seemed to want to say something, but anytime she opened her mouth, she turned away again.   

During dinner, she was quieter than usual, barely answering any questions about their time at the lake. Hopper didn’t ask too many, while he was usually present during dinner these days, it still felt a little odd to have the chief of police sitting at their dining table. Of course, he was El’s dad, and though it had taken Will a moment to cope with his mom dating again, all he wanted was her happiness and if Hopper was that, then he was always welcome. Despite that, Will didn’t think he’d ever be able to see Hopper as his dad, or call him that. It was all still very new. Maybe some day that would change, one day when he was used to him being around.  

El shoved her food around on the plate listlessly, once in a while sliding the salt or juice over to her with her mind. It was just the four of them at the table; Jonathan was spending every free minute with Nancy. Will wasn’t sure if he had finally told her about his plans not to go to Emerson College. Either way, they were inseparable after having spent almost a whole year in a long-distance relationship. Will briefly wondered if he would be able to handle long-distance. It hadn’t seemed very great when El was doing it, and Jonathan seemed to be miserable all the time too. Not that Will ever had a shot at any kind of relationship.   

“I broke up with Mike,” El said suddenly into the silence.  

“Oh, honey.” Joyce had her arms around her adoptive daughter almost immediately. “Are you okay?”  

“I am,” El replied, her eyes staying on Will the whole time as if trying to convey a message he didn’t understand. Then, her eyes moved to Hopper. “Dad?”  

“About time,” he said and almost choked on his food when Joyce gave him a stern look. “That’s –,” he cleared his throat, “I mean, I’m sorry about that.”  

Will suppressed his grin. Hopper had never been the biggest fan of Mike, and even though he had slowly started warming up to him, the idea of his daughter dating Mike was not something he was on board with.   

“It’s fine,” El said again and freed herself from her mom’s grip. “I had to do it. We are still friends.” She glanced at Will again, and he tried to read her expression, but couldn’t stop wondering why she kept staring at him the whole evening.  

His question was answered after dinner, when El closed the door to their room behind her. She leaned against the door and stared at him.  

“Alright, what is it? Why do you keep staring?” Will asked, collecting his pajamas to get changed in the bathroom.  

El didn’t reply right away, she looked like she was holding something back.  

“I don’t have time for your staring contests,” Will said and reached out for the door. “I’ll get changed, and in the meantime, you can think about what exactly it is you’ve been trying to tell me all day, and then we’ll talk.” Just as he grabbed the door handle, the lock turned. “El. Not funny.”  

He opened the lock, but she turned it again with her mind.  

“Alright.” He threw his pajamas back on the bed and sat down on the mattress. “Spit it out. What is it?”  

She took in a breath and lifted her head to lock her eyes with him. “Mike told me.”  

“Told you what?”  

“About the painting.” She took a step away from the door and held onto her wrist with her hand.  

“Oh.” Will shifted in his position, staring down at his hands. His mouth suddenly felt dry.   

El slowly sat down next to him, placing one hand on his shoulder, causing him to glance at her. She showed a worried, short smile, before pulling him into a hug.  

Will wasn’t sure how to react. How much did she know? Was she assuming things? Did Mike think of him as a liar now? He couldn’t give too much away, if El didn’t tell him what she knew, he had to make sure that his secret stayed just that.  

“It’s okay,” El said into their hug before pulling away. “I won’t tell him.”  

His hands started to feel sweaty. “Tell him what?”  

“You’re in love with Mike.” Her eyes were kind; understanding, even, but Will felt as though the world’s spotlight was on him in that moment, and he hated it.  

“What?” He couldn’t stand looking at her and averted his eyes, focusing back on his hands. “I’m not – why would you even think that?”  

“It’s really obvious,” El said. “It’s okay. I am not upset. But I think you should tell him.”  

“I’m not in love with anyone, and certainly not Mike. That’s – that’s ridiculous.” Suddenly, Will couldn’t stand even being near his sister anymore. He grabbed his unfolded pajamas and stood up. “I’ll get ready for bed. Don’t lock the door again.”  

She didn’t, and when he left the room with his pajamas in hand, he had to lean against the closed door for a brief moment to take a breath. He held his hand against his chest, right where his heart was, and clutched the fabric of his shirt. “Calm down,” he whispered to himself.  

When he brushed his teeth a few minutes later, staring at himself in the mirror, he felt that anxiety wash over him again. He could never admit to liking Mike in any way other than he liked his other friends. It was pointless to do so – he had no chance with him anyways, and speaking up about it would only lead to confusion and heartbreak. He couldn’t do that, not to Mike, not to himself. He kept staring at his reflection for a while. For a brief moment, he saw himself in the way he used to be, before November 1983. Young, innocent, unharmed. Still full of life and excited about his future, when the bullies in school were his biggest problem. He took a deep, shaky breath and clutched the sides of the sink with his hands.   

“Will.” El’s voice came from the hallway. She knocked on the bathroom door. “Will, I’m coming in.”  

He wiped over his eyes and turned to face her when she entered. “I don’t want to talk about this.”  

“I know,” she said. “You don’t have to. I just want you to know that, if you wanted to talk to me or Mike about this, I am here for you. I support you.” With a quieter voice, she added, “I think you two would make a lot of sense together.”  

“We wouldn’t,” Will disagreed. “Close the door again?” The last thing he needed was his mom, or worse, Hopper, overhearing this conversation. “First of all, I am not in love with Mike. Okay?”  

El raised her hands apologetically. “Okay.”  

“And even if I was, it’d be absolutely pointless. Mike is in love with you . You’re my sister, and he’s my best friend, and it doesn’t get messier than that.” He leaned on the sink with his hands. “There is no place in this world for people like me.”  

El took a step closer. “But there’s nothing wrong with you.”  

“You may not have grown up with the idea of judging other people on minuscule things, but that’s just how the world works.”  

El shook her head slightly. “I don’t understand.”  

Will took a deep breath and focused on the floor. “I know that I’m not like everyone else. I think I’ve always known that. Maybe there is no one else like me. I don’t know, because I can’t exactly go around asking people. And you can’t either, because that might ruin everything that is still good in my life. Most of it is shit now, but I still have my friends. And I just don’t know what they’d think of me.”  

“You will always have me,” El said.   

“Can you promise me you won’t say anything to anyone? Not even to Max, or Hopper, and most of all, not to Mike? Can you promise?”  

El hugged him again, and this time he reciprocated, holding onto his sister like the whole world was against them. “I promise,” she said. “Your secret is safe with me.”  She let go of him briefly, but when Will didn’t, she hugged him tighter.   

When he was finally ready to let go, he wiped over his eyes again, not having realized that tears had formed in his eyes. “Don’t say anything,” he said, “I am not crying.”  

El snickered. “Sure.”  

“Hey, your hair is starting to grow out again,” Will noticed and pointed at her head. “Looking good.”  

El touched the top of her head and smiled a little. “Thanks. I will never cut it again.” She hesitated for a moment. “It is strange how much hair can mean to someone.”  

“I bet.”  

“We had this one doctor at the lab, she had long hair,” El said with absent eyes. “I always liked her hair, but I didn’t understand why she wore it like that. All I knew were the regular head-shaving sessions with -,” she swallowed, “with Brenner. He never made someone else do it, he was always the one with the razor. And once I left the lab and I got to grow out my hair, it was like…”  

“Like it was a part of your identity?” Will asked.  

She nodded. “Yes. And then he shaved it again.” She covered her eyes with her hands and looked down. “It’s stupid, I know. It’s just hair.”  

“It’s not just hair,” Will said and moved her hands out of her face. “Now you’ll get to grow it as long as you want to. No more shavings. And mom can teach you all about different hairstyles and all that stuff.”  

El smiled at the floor. “Yeah,” she muttered. Then, she lifted her head again. “I should sleep. I want to visit Max as early as I can tomorrow.”  

Nancy didn’t mind studying while Jonathan was just sitting on the bed, reading a book about photography. She’d always wanted to achieve high in life, and ever since her acceptance letter for Emerson College in Massachusetts had arrived, she strived to be even better. These last couple of months at Hawkins High were just the last hurdle she had to overcome until she could finally go off to study, to lead a normal life far away from Hawkins. And nothing was better than doing so with Jonathan.  

She’d make sure that she’d graduate with a perfect GPA, and she’d begin her new life as soon as she could. This was all she had ever wanted to work towards.   

“Hey, Nance?” Jonathan looked at her from across the room, and Nancy turned her head.  

“Yeah?”  

He closed his book and sat up straighter. “I think we should talk about Emerson.”  

Nancy put her pen down and turned her chair. “What about Emerson?”  

He moved to the edge of the bed and folded his hands in his lap. “I got accepted into Lenora Hills Community College. I’m not going to Emerson.”  

“You’re – what?” Nancy crossed her legs uncomfortably. “But we agreed.”  

“I know,” Jonathan said. “This doesn’t change anything about us, I still want us to work.”  

“Why are you changing your mind now? We agreed on this ages ago.” Nancy didn’t want to believe what he was telling her. Emerson had been their plan for a long time. It was supposed to be their future.  

“Emerson is really expensive,” he said. “My family can’t afford that. And it’s your dream, not mine.”  

“So, your dream is Lenora Hills Community College?” Nancy asked skeptically.   

“I mean, no.” He shrugged. “But I gotta go somewhere. And Cali is not so bad. Plus, I already know Argyle there, so I won’t be on my own to figure this all out.”  

Nancy huffed and tucked her hair behind her ears. “We could’ve figured it all out together. That was the plan.”  

“Nance, look, I’m really sorry, but this is what’s best for me.” He attempted a smile. “We’ll still call, and write letters, and visit each other.”  

“No,” Nancy said. “If you’re going to Cali, I’m going to Cali. The plan was for us to stay together, and I’m not doing long-distance again.”  

“Nance.” He stood up and took her hands. “You’re way too smart for that. You’re about to graduate with a 4.0 GPA. Emerson is lucky to have you as a student. Don’t screw that up by following me.”  

“Well,” Nancy thought out loud, “what if you apply to a Community College in Massachusetts? Then we’d still be close. We could live together, off-campus. And it’s not too late to apply yet.”  

“I’ve already picked my classes,” Jonathan admitted. “This is happening.”  

“Hold on,” Nancy said and let go of his hands. “When did you get your acceptance letter?”  

“Oh, um,” he said hesitantly and sat back down on the bed. “A few months ago.”  

“ Months ?” This time it was Nancy who stood up, pacing up and down her room. “I can’t believe you lied to me.”  

“Nance, please.” Jonathan got up as well and stopped Nancy’s pacing by gently placing his hands on her arms. “I love you. I want us to work. Even if it’s long-distance again.”  

“You lied to me,” she repeated and held her hand to her forehead for a moment. “I can’t believe you lied to me.”  

“I’m really sorry. I didn’t know how to tell you because I don’t want you to give up your dream.”  

Nancy freed herself from his hands and opened the door. “I need to think about this,” she said, disappointment written all over her face. “I’ll call you.”  

Jonathan sighed. “Alright. I love you, Nance.”  

“I love you too,” she said quietly as Jonathan left her room.  

Just like that, the anticipation about her future was gone. They were supposed to do all of this together, and Nancy wasn’t sure if she could handle another long-distance phase of their relationship.  

Chapter Text

It was late when Steve heard the doorbell ring. He ignored it the first time, because Robin was curled up in his arms, trying to regulate her breathing to the rhythm of his hand stroking her back. “Just a nightmare,” he said to her. “You’re okay. You’re okay.”

Her hands were clutching the fabric of his shirt, her eyes screwed shut as she attempted to focus on her breathing.

The doorbell rang again.

“You okay if I get that?” he asked, and with a shaky breath, Robin nodded.

“I’ll be right back,” he promised and gave her a kiss on the head. “Keep breathing. In and out.” She nodded again.

Steve closed the door to his room behind him and opened the front door. “Nancy. You okay?”

Nancy nodded and tucked some strands of hair behind her ears. “Can I come in? I need to talk to someone.”

“What about Jonathan?”

“It’s sort of about him.” She put her hands in the pockets of her jeans. “Please? I could use your opinion.”

“Um,” Steve said and glanced at the door of his room. “It’s kind of a bad time.”

“Why, are you on a date?” She chuckled a little, but her smile fell when Steve didn’t reciprocate it. “Oh,” she said. “I’m sorry, I don’t want to disturb you.”

Steve looked at the door again, then back at Nancy. “No,” he said. “You’re not. Come in, make yourself comfortable.” He gestured her inside and closed the door. “Wait in the living room? I’ll be right back.”

“Okay.” Nancy looked uncertain but sat down on the couch as Steve opened the door to his room just a little, so he’d fit through, and Nancy couldn’t see inside.

Robin was still on the bed, her legs pulled to her chest and her arms wrapped around them. Steve sat down next to her again and put an arm around her. “How’s your breathing?” he asked and stroked her back again. “In and out, remember?”

“I’m okay,” Robin whispered and leaned against him. She wiped over her eyes and sniffled. “Who was at the door?”

Her voice still sounded shaky, and Steve could tell she was trying hard not to give away that she was moments away from breaking down again.

“Nancy,” he replied. “I guess she had a fight with Jonathan, or something.”

“Looks like you’re in demand today, Stevie,” Robin joked with tears in her eyes. “Go talk to her.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’ll be okay.”

“Birdie, you look like you’re two thoughts away from your next mental breakdown. I can ask Nance to leave.” He looked at her hesitantly, and she wiped the last tears away.

“No,” she decided. “Talk to her, I’ll be fine in here.”

“Okay,” he said soothingly. “Just come and get me if you need me, okay?”

A few minutes later, he sat down next to Nancy with a cup of tea in his hand, handing it over to her. “Here you go,” he said. “Sorry about the delay. So, what’s up?”

Nancy took a sip and placed the mug down on the coffee table. “Are you sure it’s okay that I’m here? It seemed like you have someone in your room there.”

“No, no, it’s all fine,” he lied and smiled at her. “You got my full attention. So, Jonathan?”

“He’s not going to Emerson College with me,” Nancy explained. “We had this whole plan, to move to Massachusetts together, to go to college together and get away from this hellhole. And now he wants to do long-distance again.”

“And you don’t think you can do that again?” Steve asked.

“It’s not just that. He lied to me, he said he didn’t get his acceptance letter yet when he had already decided he was never going to go.” Nancy leaned into the couch cushions. “I said I’d go to College with him, then, but he doesn’t want that either.”

“Nance, you’re not going to some random college. You’re going to Emerson. You’ve made it this far, that’s not for nothing.” Steve wasn’t sure yet if he was going to go to college at all, it seemed ridiculous to study for even longer after school, especially if he didn’t really know what to do with his life. Robin agreed with him; she wasn’t even planning on going back to school to graduate. But Nancy had always wanted this.

“What about Jonathan?” Nancy asked. “I don’t want to break up with him, but I don’t want to do long-distance again.”

Steve sighed. “Look, Nance, I can’t tell you what to do on this one. You can either do long-distance, or you don’t, but you’re not going to drop your dream of Emerson. Don’t let some guy influence you on that.”

Nancy chuckled lightly. “Okay, I know you’re not his biggest fan, he’s not exactly a fan of you either, but I love him. What if I go off to my fancy college and I break up with him and I’ll regret it? What if I’ll be all alone?”

“You won’t be alone. We’ll all come to visit you, and you can show us around on the campus and make us jealous. Okay? Whatever you decide, you will not be alone.”

“Yeah,” Nancy muttered and looked down at her hands. “I guess I’m just scared I’ll regret it, no matter what I choose.”

“Nance, come on,” Steve said encouragingly. “You shot a literal mind-powered serial killer right in the chest, multiple times. You’ve fought off monsters. A little move across some states will not be what gets you down.”

Nancy was about to reply something, but she stopped when the door to Steve’s room opened with a low creak.

“Steve,” Robin whispered, the tears streaming down her face caused Steve to jump to his feet and pull her into a tight hug. With trembling hands, she reciprocated the hug and buried her face in his shirt.

“You’re okay,” he said. “You’re okay.”

Her breathing was uneven again, and she tried to say something to him, but no sound came out. Instead, her hands tugged at his shirt as she sobbed.

“Nance,” he said, “there are some paper bags in the cabinet under the sink. Grab one for me, please.”

Nancy obliged immediately, though confusion and uncertainty marked her face, and Steve led Robin to the couch, guiding her to sit down. When Nancy returned with the bag, he held it up against Robin’s lips, gently stroking her back in even intervals. “Just breathe,” he told her. “You know how to do this. In and out, try to focus on my hand, okay? In and out.” Her head was resting on his shoulder, eyes shut as tears fell down her face, and Steve stroked her back slowly, continuously whispering to her until her breathing started to regulate. With a shaking hand, she nudged his hand holding the bag downwards.

“I’m okay,” she mumbled and took the tissue Nancy was handing her to blow her nose. “Thanks.”

Steve didn’t let her go as he looked at Nancy again. “Anyways, so, you and Jonathan - “

“Forget about me and Jonathan,” Nancy said perplexedly. “What just happened?”

“Nothing,” Robin said and wiped away the last off her tears. “I’ll let you talk.” She tried to get up, but Steve held her close.

“You’re not going anywhere, Birdie. If you go now, you’ll probably break down again in like five minutes.”

“Okay,” Robin whispered with a small smile and moved closer to him.

“Forgive me for assuming,” Nancy said, “but you two –” She gestured up and down.

“We are not dating, if that’s what you’re thinking,” Steve said. “As we keep telling people.”

“She just came out of your room, wearing your shirt, and you’re looking at her like she’s your whole world.” Nancy shrugged. “I’m not judging, it just seems like you are definitely an item.”

Steve glanced down at Robin. “When did you take my shirt?”

“Just now,” Robin sniffled. “Sorry. Thought it might help, it did not, but it looks better on me anyways.” She smiled a little.

“So -,” Nancy began again.

“Not dating,” Robin and Steve said in unison.

“If you must know,” Steve added, “she is my whole world, but not for that reason. We are purely platonic.”

“Capital P,” Robin added quietly.

“Capital P,” Steve repeated. “We just happened to figure out that our way to cope was…well, each other.”

“Each other?” Nancy asked. “You mean – “

“God, no,” Robin said, then glanced down at her hands. “Steve just happens to be great at getting me to calm down. And I’m good at talking so much that he just ends up thinking about something other than whatever got him down.”

“Okay,” Nancy said hesitantly, “that’s… great. I don’t want to impose, I’m sorry.” She grabbed her bag and got up from the couch. “Thanks for the tea, and the talk. I should get going.”

“Stay, Nance.” Steve gently smiled at her. “We can talk this whole thing through. You’re always welcome here.”

“Thanks,” she said and shook her head. “But I think it’s best if I leave. You two are clearly having something to work through, and I don’t want to be in the way.” Before leaving, she turned to them again and smiled uncertainly. “I’ll see you soon.”

When the door fell shut behind her, Robin looked at Steve. “Do you think she still thinks we’re dating?”

“Oh, definitely,” he said. “Hey, she didn’t drink her tea. Want some?”

Robin shrugged. “Sure. Movie?”

Steve reached for the remote and turned on the TV. “Absolutely.”

The next morning, Robin knocked on Nancy’s door.

“Hey,” she said when Nancy opened it. “Can I come in? I feel like I need to clarify some things.”

“Um, sure,” Nancy replied and opened the door wider. “What kind of things?”

Robin sat down on the couch and looked around. “Is your family home?”

“My parents are out with my sister, and Mike is sulking in his room. What’s wrong?” She sat down next to Robin.

“I think you might have the wrong idea about me and Steve,” Robin said and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

“It’s fine,” Nancy said. “It’s really none of my business.”

“I swear to you, Steve and I will never be an item. Never.”

Robin wasn’t sure why she needed Nancy to know so badly. With everyone else, she didn’t really care what they thought of her and Steve. Sure, they were oddly close for friends, but that’s what she liked so much about their friendship. No matter what was going on in her life, he was the first person she would go to, the only person who would fully understand her.

“I don’t know if there’s anything left unsaid between you and Steve, but you’re with Jonathan now, and Steve is moving on too. But I get things might be weird between you, and I promise you, Steve and I are never going to happen.”

Robin placed her hand over Nancy’s and looked into her eyes.

“How do you know?” Nancy asked. “Not that I want to be with him, I don’t.”

Robin hesitated. She wasn’t sure what Nancy would think of her if she told her, but her eyes were so kind, they always were, and she wanted to be able to stop keeping secrets.

“I can’t say,” she decided. It wasn’t time, not yet. “But you have to believe me.”

Nancy cleared her throat and pulled her hand away. “What happened yesterday anyway?” she asked. “Does that happen a lot?”

Robin took a breath and averted her eyes from Nancy’s face, glancing at her hands instead. “Sorta, yeah. Since everything went down. But I really don’t want to think about it.” She could already feel her face heating up and she reminded herself to stay calm.

“I didn’t realize,” Nancy said and gave a clenched half-smile. “Can I help somehow?”

Robin shook her head. “No. It’s fine. Anyways, I’m not interested in Steve at all, so… are we okay?”

“Of course.” Nancy smiled a little. “I’m with Jonathan, I don’t want Steve back. We’re good.”

“I kind of overheard you last night,” Robin admitted. “Trouble in paradise?”

“I guess.” Nancy shrugged. “What do you think of this? Are you even going to college?”

“I’m not even going back to school,” Robin said and grinned slightly. “I always saw myself as a high-school dropout. Steve is lucky he graduated last year.”

“But why not? It’s only a couple more months until you’d be done.”

“There just really doesn’t seem to be a point to it,” Robin said. “I’d rather just work, even though so far I haven’t had any luck with applications. Even if that’s not really a career. And that’s the upside of having former hippies as parents. They’re totally fine with it.”

“I assume you’d want me to stay with Jonathan, then?”

“Oh, no. Go to Emerson. You deserve as much.”

Nancy lowered her head and smiled. “Maybe. Thanks.” She hesitated for a moment before adding, “You know, you can come to me too if you need help and Steve isn’t around. We’re in this together.”

Chapter Text

“How much longer do you have to wear this?” El asked and pointed to Max’s arm. “The cast, I mean.”

“I’m not sure,” Max said. “At least another month.”

“So long?”

“Yeah, it’s a nasty break, it’s gonna take some time.” Max sighed. “I’m bored. It’s like another week or so until I get to go home, and even then, I’ll have to come back here for regular check-ups. Is this my life now?”

“Do you want me to wheel you around a bit?” El suggested. “It’s raining, but we could just roam around the hospital. If your nurses don’t mind.”

“Sure.” Max shrugged. “It’s not like I got anything else to do.”

It was difficult to get Max into her wheelchair, but with some shared effort, El managed to help her out of bed. Once Max’s arm was healed, she figured it’d probably get easier on her.

“Where are you going to stay when you get released?” El asked as she wheeled her best friend out of her room.

“My trailer,” she said. “My mom may not be there, but all my stuff is.” With a frown, she added, “Besides, if she comes back, that’ll be the place she’ll look for me.”

“Are you sure?” El asked, pushing the wheelchair toward the elevator. “A trailer isn’t really…”

“A good home for a wheelchair user? Yeah, well, I’ll make it work. Hey, let me press the button.” She reached out with her free hand, tracing the rows of buttons until she found the lowest one. “Lobby?”

“Yes,” El said. “Go ahead.” Even though she knew that Max wasn’t happy with her new, forced-upon style of life, she was glad to see her developing a sense of her surroundings even without her eyes. The elevator doors closed, and El held tighter onto the wheelchair handles. “You could live with us for a while,” she suggested, knowing that her offer wasn’t really on the table, but she couldn’t just not offer.

“You and I both know I can’t,” Max said.

“I’m sure Joyce would not mind.”

“Maybe so. But your house is already too small for five people, you wanna add a sixth person to that mix, plus space for a wheelchair to move around? That won’t happen. And I don’t want to live with Hopper.”

El chuckled. “He’s not so bad.”

“You can say that because he’s your dad, but to me, he’s a cop. How am I gonna rob a liquor store and play the disability-card when they arrest me to get out of it if I live with the chief of police? No, thank you.”

The doors opened and El pushed the wheelchair out of the elevator.

“I am going to need a ramp for my trailer, though. As determined as I am to be the best wheelchair user in Hawkins, I don’t think I’ll be able to climb stairs with it.”

“We will figure something out,” El said confidently, a plan forming in the back of her head. She’d have to gather everyone together this weekend. “How are you going to afford living alone? You don’t have a job.”

“I haven’t really figured that out yet,” Max admitted. “I’d guilt trip my mom into sending me money if I had any idea where she went.”

“Hm,” El hummed, letting her mind wander as she pushed Max through the lobby. “I’m sure we can come up with something.”

“Hey, can you get me a snack from the vending machines?” Max asked and nodded toward the machines on the opposite side of the room. “I’ve had hospital food every day since they removed the tubes. It’s disgusting.”

“Sure,” El said. “How did you know they’re on that wall over there?”

Max shrugged. “I heard someone use them just now. I think I’m starting to get used to this whole relying-on-other-senses thing.”

“Well, I don’t have any money on me,” El said and leaned forward and quietly added, “but I’ll get you one anyways.”

Max grinned. “Nothing quite like having a best friend with superpowers.”

El glanced around the room. Nobody seemed to pay attention to them, so she shifted her focus to the machine in front of her. Skittles, in particular. Within the blink of an eye, the metal spiral holding the snacks moved, and a pack of the candy fell. “Here you go,” she said, handing them to Max. “Skittles, just for you.”

“Awesome.” Max opened the plastic. “This is like heaven. I died and came back just so I could have some skittles.”

El wheeled her over to some of the chairs and sat down herself. “So, a week until you get out?”

“Yup,” Max said and attempted to throw a skittle into her mouth but missed. “Dang it,” she uttered and tried again.

“I am going to talk to Joyce,” El said. “Maybe she knows what to do.”

“I don’t need or want charity. I’ll figure it out.”

“You are too stubborn,” El noted. “We need to make some kind of plan for your money situation.” Or find your mom, she added in her mind, because she knew Max didn’t want to hear it. Max living all alone in that trailer was an image she didn’t like. At least Eddie would be right next door to keep an eye on her.

“I’ll be totally fine,” Max objected. “I’ll figure something out, I always do.”

“It’s not just the money,” El said. “What about cooking? Do you want to try cooking without your eyes and only one healthy arm while sitting? Your trailer is not made for a wheelchair. You need someone to help you through this, at least in the beginning until you get used to this.”

“So, you want me to get a babysitter?”

“I want you to stop pretending like you can do this all on your own. It’s okay if you can’t. This is a new situation for you.”

“El,” Max said and held onto her arm. “I am not letting anyone help me with basic tasks. I am blind, not incapable. I will learn this, and I will be fine on my own. I’ll get a job after school, and I’ll finance my own life and learn how to cook on my own. Once this damn cast comes off, I’ll be able to do all of this without any issues. Okay?”

El wrinkled her nose in response to the stubbornness of her friend. “Okay,” she said, although unwillingly.

“How’s Mike doing with your breakup?” Max asked to change the subject.

“I haven’t talked to him since,” El said. “He went home after we talked, and I came here first thing in the morning.”

“I like to imagine him bawling his eyes out, locked away in his room,” Max said with a satisfied grin. “I’m glad you broke up. You were a terribly obnoxious couple.”

“That’s mean.”

“It’s true. You are so much cooler without him. Now, you can actually find yourself instead of relying on him all the time. If there’s anyone who doesn’t need anybody else to live, it’s you.”

“And you,” El added and chuckled.

“Absolutely. Both of us, we’d do great without anyone else around us.” She let go of El’s arm and held out her opened pack of Skittles instead. “Want some?”

Eddie woke up with pearls of sweat on his forehead. His trembling hands clutched the bed sheets as he forced himself to arrive in reality. His heart didn’t stop hammering uncomfortably fast against his ribcage as he reached for the phone, dialing the only number he knew by heart.

“Hello?” Steve’s voice sounded on the other line.

“Christ,” Eddie mumbled. “Is Robin there?”

For a moment, he only heard breathing. “No,” Steve said then. “Not right now.”

“Okay. Bye.” Eddie was about to hang up when Steve talked again.

“Hold on,” he said, and he sounded… worried? “What’s wrong?”

“None of your business.”

“Eddie, for heaven’s sake, stop being a dick.”

“Now that’s going to convince me,” Eddie said sarcastically. “Just tell Robin to swing by when she has the chance. Or don’t. I’ll probably be fine again by that time.”

“Just tell me what’s wrong.”

“Bye, Steve.” This time, he hung up. It was just his luck to reach Steve. Why was Robin living with him?

He’s not that bad, a tiny voice in the back of Eddie’s mind whispered. “I know he’s not,” he uttered angrily and slumped down in bed again. But rest didn’t find him, and by the time he was ready to just give up on sleeping, he heard a knock on the door. Then, another after he ignored the first one.

Rubbing the tiredness out of his face, he headed to the door, closing his eyes when he passed through the living space. He couldn’t stand seeing the spot where Chrissy stood. Where she was murdered.

He opened the door just enough to recognize Steve’s face, and before he could close it again, Steve put his foot between the wall and the door. “You’re gonna talk to me,” Steve said and pushed the door open, letting himself into the trailer. “Jesus, you could let some fresh air in here once in a while.” He wrinkled his nose.

“Real nice to see you too,” Eddie said dryly. “What do you want?”

“I want you to stop being an idiot and talk to me.” Steve sat down on the couch, crossing one leg over the other and looked at him expectantly. “I’m not leaving until you do.”

For a moment, they stared at each other with narrowed eyes, Steve’s more challenging than Eddie’s.

“Want some coffee while you wait for me to not talk?” Eddie asked sarcastically.

“I’d prefer it if you just talked right now. What happened, between you and me – actually, not that lie you made up - and earlier? Go.”

Eddie rolled his eyes and shifted in his stance. “Nothing,” he said.

“Clearly.”

He scoffed. “Okay, fine. You win. But I can’t talk in here, there’s too much history.”

Steve stood up from the couch, the challenging look in his eyes was replaced by a kinder one. “Lead the way,” he said, and Eddie opened the door for him, following him outside.

“I hate how stubborn you are,” Eddie said as he sat down on the stairs leading up to the trailer. “Can’t you just let me be a dick?”

“Oh, so you do realize that.”

“Of course I do. I’m doing it on purpose.”

Steve grinned a little. “Well, that’s progress. So, why exactly are you being a dick?”

“I don’t want to tell you that,” Eddie said. “I agreed to tell you about this morning. Nothing else.”

“You didn’t specify that,” Steve corrected him. “But sure. Go ahead.”

Eddie took a breath, his eyes fixed on Max’s trailer and the image of Chrissy’s murder flashed across his mind. Was that how Max had looked too in the moment of her brief death? “Nope,” he said and got up, “changed my mind.”

“You’re not getting out of this,” Steve objected and pulled him back down by the wrist. “Shoot.”

“Christ, Steve, why are you so dedicated to finding out about my nightmares?”

“So, it was a nightmare,” Steve concluded. What a detective. “Do share.”

“I’d rather not.”

“Too late, I’m here, we’re doing this.”

“It’s Chrissy,” Eddie said after a moment of hesitation. Clearly, Steve was not going to let it go. “It’s always Chrissy. The way her bones snapped, and her eyes just got... pulled back into her skull, it was fucking awful, man. And I couldn’t do anything to help her. It’s eating me alive. I should’ve died in that freaky world; I should’ve come to her.” He kept his stare straight ahead. “I didn’t even really know her. I met her once some years ago, and then again one time in the woods to sell her drugs. That was all. She probably would’ve died either way, with or without me there. And still, I feel guilty. Like I could’ve prevented it somehow, but I couldn’t’ve. So now, almost every damn night, I see her floating, distorted body with no eyes in her skull. It’s haunting.”

When he ended his monologue, Steve looked at him with understanding in his eyes. None of the challenging glances, none of the begging to just talk. Only kindness.

“I bet you Chrissy is glad that you’re not up there with her right now,” he said. “One day you will be. But for now, you still need to be alive for a while.”

“And why’s that?”

Steve shrugged. “’Cause we need you. All of us. Max is gonna need you to look after her, even if she won’t admit to it. Robin needs you so she’s not the only gay one in the group.”

Eddie grinned slightly.

“Dustin needs you because he worships you almost as much as he worships me.”

“More.”

“Eh, let’s say it’s a tie.” Steve smiled at him warmly. “And I need you because who else is going to challenge me like you do?”

“You like challenges?”

“Life’s boring without them,” Steve said and nudged his elbow. “You’re one of the bigger ones in my life.”

“So, what you’re saying is, you need me to keep being a dick to you?”

“You could be a bit less of a dick to me.”

“I’ll consider it.” Eddie smiled now too. “Why did you come here at all?”

“Why wouldn’t I have?”

“Because we already established that I’m a dick. You could’ve just stayed home and told Robin that I called, but instead I assume you immediately ran to your car and sped here like a lunatic.”

Steve laughed dryly. “I didn’t speed here, and I wouldn’t run for you.”

“Why’d you do it?”

“’Cause I care.” He met his eyes, and Eddie realized he had never noticed before how warm they were. “You may not agree with me, but going through Hell together makes us friends. Good friends, even. If you need anything, I will be there. For anyone in our group.”

“Even Jonathan?” Eddie teased.

Steve chuckled. “Even him.” He paused for a moment, glancing at Max’s trailer and then back at Eddie. “You’re gonna take care of her, right?”

“Someone has to,” Eddie said. “I will.”

“Just don’t let her know that you’re doing it, or she will refuse to let you nearby.”

“That’s my guess, too.”

“Thanks,” Steve said and smiled lightly. “And - we’re okay, right?”

“Yeah,” Eddie said. “We are.”

Chapter Text

Summer was beginning to take a toll on everyone. Aside from Nancy’s issue of having to study for the delayed graduation during the summer heat instead of the cooler spring, the sun was beginning to scorch, heating up pavement and draining everyone’s energy.   

That didn’t stop El from gathering everyone together at Max’s trailer the next day, along with wooden panels and tools. She was determined to make her best friend’s life easier in any way she could, and if that meant building a wheelchair ramp in the burning heat, she would.  

“How do you even start this?” Dustin asked while inspecting a drill. “Does anyone here have any building experience?”  

“Eddie’s uncle does,” Robin suggested and pointed toward the trailer.  

“Yeah, but he’s asleep. Long shift,” Eddie said. “So, I guess I will do my best to take his place.”  

“We need to use screws,” Nancy added and held up a pack of screws. “Not nails.”  

“And we need to figure out at what angle the slope can be,” Steve said with an uncertain glance to Nancy, who nodded.  

“Sounds way too complicated,” Mike complained. “But sure. Let’s do it.”  

It proved difficult to build anything without prior experience, and it happened more than once that they had to start over on certain parts, but Eddie’s limited expertise from watching his uncle build stuff got them through it.  

When the sun was already beginning to set, Eddie sat down next to El on the grass, handing her a glass of lemonade. His uncle had made it; he had woken up in the late afternoon and after realizing the ramp was already almost complete, he had opted to at least take care of the refreshments for the group.  

“How you doing, Wonder Woman?” he asked with a teasing grin and clinked his glass against hers.  

El had never really spoken to Eddie. She had only met him very recently after her return from California. All she really knew was that he almost died in the Upside Down, that he liked metal music – which she didn’t agree with at all – and that he was the only other one in the group who had tattoos.   

She smiled a little to his nickname for her. “Thank you for helping,” she said and took a sip of her lemonade.  

“You know,” Eddie said, “I don’t really know you so well. But since you’re Red’s friend, and I will probably keep an eye on her, I figured, what’s the harm in getting to know the child that was mostly responsible for killing Vecna.”  

“I’m not a child,” El objected, but chuckled.   

“You’re all children to me,” Eddie disagreed. “Which is why it’s still not clear to me why you have a tattoo. Aren’t you like, eight?”  

“Almost sixteen.”  

“Right. So, what’s the story there?”  

“A long one.” El didn’t really feel like getting into the whole charades of explaining her backstory. There was a lot to it, and too many unhappy memories were tied to it to relive it.  

“You don’t like it?”  

El shrugged. “Not really. It’s a bad memory.”  

“Well,” Eddie said, a smirk appearing on his face. “It just so happens that I got a tattoo gun. I’m by no means certified, but I’ve done some for other people. If you want, I can cover it up for you. Free of charge, of course. I owe you that much.”  

El glanced at her wrist. The three numbers in her skin had been with her almost her entire life. Brenner hadn’t tattooed her immediately after her birth, but when she was old enough to understand her abilities. It was like a mark, something that identified her and reminded her of having grown up in an unloving lab when the whole world was out there to be explored and lived in. Even if she hadn’t been aware of it yet at the time.  

“Maybe,” she decided. “It was painful.”  

“All tattoos are,” Eddie said. “And your wrist is not one of the nicest spots to start with. But, since you did, you might as well get a cover-up there. Whatever you would like. Or you can wait until you’re old enough to get it done by a professional artist and pay a ton of money for it.”  

“I will let you know,” El promised and smiled lightly.  

A brief silence fell over them before Eddie leaned back in. “So,” he said, “you’re dating Mike, huh? He kept talking about you.”   

“Not anymore. We broke up.”  

“Ah.” He clicked his tongue. “Well, it happens. And Red is with Sinclair?”  

“Sort of,” El said. “They were dating, then they weren’t, then they were, and now they’re not. They can’t decide.” She grinned a little. “He keeps trying to win her back and she keeps shooting him down.”  

“Why’s that?” Eddie asked, and El couldn’t tell if he was asking out of genuine curiosity or to tease.  

“I’m not sure,” she said. “I think she is scared to be too close to anyone. Her dad left her, and then she moved here from California, and then Billy died. Her stepbrother,” she added.  

“Wait, Billy Hargroves?”  

El nodded.  

“I saw that guy in school a couple times. Did not like him one bit. He was her brother?”  

“Stepbrother. She didn’t like him either. But now that he’s dead...”  

“I get that,” Eddie said. “She seems pretty close to you, though.”  

“Yeah.” El smiled, something unfamiliar fluttering in her chest, and glanced at the lemonade in her hand. “We are.”  

“Catch me up on everything else,” Eddie said. “What’s been going on these past years that I missed out on?”  

“Do you want the summary or the whole story?”  

“Summary. My attention span is the same as a goldfish’s.”  

“Okay.” El thought for a moment. “Will got trapped in the Upside Down, I met the others, killed some monsters and people, Joyce and my dad rescued Will. I went into hiding with my dad, demodogs infested the town, Will got possessed, Steve and the others fought off the monsters, Dustin befriended one, I met my sister and got adopted, and I went to my first dance.” She smiled a little. “Then last year everyone seemed to get possessed again, but in a different way, and Billy got possessed like Will did, the Mindflayer took on an actual form, took over Starcourt where we fought it, almost killed me, actually killed Billy, I lost my powers and Joyce sold the house to move to California after my dad died and adopted me.”  

“And then your dad came back from the dead because he wasn’t actually dead,” Eddie added.  

“That’s about it.”  

“Sounds pretty straight-forward,” Eddie said and laughed. “What a world, man.” He took a sip from his lemonade and watched the others, talking, laughing and, in Dustin’s case, running after Steve with a drill in his hand to annoy him. “So, what’s the deal with Steve and Nancy?” he asked.  

El shrugged. “I don’t know. Ask Robin.”  

“She’d probably know best,” he said and sighed. “Anyway. Do you think I could learn mindpowers like yours?”  

El laughed. “No. You can’t.”  

“Ah, bummer.” He cracked a smile. “At least I can play badass guitar solos. And I can tattoo. So. Think about that.”  

“You clearly win,” El said with a grin, then her eyes wandered over to Max’s trailer again. “How expensive is it to make her trailer better for wheelchairs?”  

“Hmm,” Eddie pondered. “No clue. Pretty expensive, I’d say. It’s probably too crammed for a wheelchair to fit through everywhere, and cooking has got to be a nightmare like that.”  

“I thought that, too.”  

“At least we got a ramp now,” Eddie said. “A pretty good one at that. That’s one step.”  

“How do we take the next one?”  

“I wish I knew, kid.”  

“Not a kid.”  

“Eh.” He shrugged. “You’re all kids.”  

They sat in silence for a short while, enjoying the shade and the lemonade, before Eddie got up. “Alright,” he said, “I’m gonna check on the others. You take care.”  

“Yeah,” El said gratefully. “Thanks.”  

Physical therapy sucked. That was the one thing that Max was certain was the only constant in life now. She didn’t understand why she had to do it. The nurses would move her legs, and she’d move her arm, but she would likely never regain feeling below her waist, so what was the point except for keeping her busy in this bland place?  

Nobody was visiting her today either, all her friends were busy with God-knows-what. Not that she minded. She loved her friends dearly, but it was a change of pace to not socialize for once. Her Walkman blasting Take on Me through her headphones, she let the nurse move her leg. It was easier to stare at the ceiling and focus on the lyrics on repeat.  

Take on me (Take on me) 

Take me on (Take on me) 

I’ll be gone 

In a day or two 

The nurse tapped her shoulder. Max pushed her headphones to the side, just enough to still hear the music and understand what the nurse was saying.  

Without the ability to see, Max found out she liked to imagine whatever it was the other person was doing in that moment. The way they might be looking at her or gesturing about something.  

In that moment, the nurse probably smiled at her with that automated smile that every person in any service-related field has trained themselves to put on whenever dealing with anyone. At least she had let go of Max’s leg.   

“Have you heard from your mother at all, Maxine?” the nurse asked with presumably kind eyes.  

So needless to say 

“No,” Max said. “But she will be back soon.”  

I’m odds and ends 

“She will need to provide an address for you, Maxine.”   

Max huffed. If only they’d stop calling her Maxine, maybe she’d be less opposed to talking to any of the staff. “I can give you the address too.”  

“No,” the nurse said, “you need a parent or guardian to provide for you.”  

“I’ve been told the chief will sign me out,” Max argued. “He can do all the paperwork.”  

“Maxine,” the nurse said again, and Max clenched her hand into a fist. “He can sign you out, that has been arranged, but we still need someone to contact after you’re released. That has to be a parent or legal guardian. You’re a minor, and if your parents can’t prove that they’re caring for you, we are legally obligated to call Social Services to get you assigned to foster care.”  

But I’ll be stumblin’ away 

“Fine,” Max said. “My friends will call my mom. She will show up. I am not going into foster care. I can take care of myself.”  

“I’m sure you can,” the nurse said, and Max didn’t have to imagine what she looked like in that moment. She could vividly see it in her mind – a pitiying half-smile with subtly raised eyebrows and eyes that pretend to be warm but hide nothing but worry and the thought ‘ I am so glad that I am not in this poor girl’s position ’, just to be pushed down immediately because that’s a rude thing to think, especially as a trained nurse.  

“How long until I get to leave?”  

“That depends on the time of your mother returning,” the nurse said. “You are well enough to be released, but we can not let you be signed out by anyone until we have the right paperwork for you.” She paused, and Max imagined her to have put on a fake desperate smile. “I’m sorry, Maxine. But as long as your mother gets here to take responsibility for you, you will be fine to return to your home.”  

“Great,” Max muttered, a lump stuck in her throat making it hard to swallow, and she turned away.  

Slowly learnin’ that life is okay 

The nurse left eventually, and Max continued blasting the music at full volume into her ears. Maybe, if she listened to it long enough, she’d turn deaf too. Then there would be no possibility for anyone to annoy her anymore.  

When everything else seemed to be ripped away from her grip, maybe that was the best she could hope for.  

Maybe, that was the only thing she could hope for.  

Chapter Text

In the afternoon of the following day, the phone rang at Robin’s and Steve’s apartment. Steve was busy reworking his CV after no applications had been successful yet, and so Robin answered the phone. She’d have expected anyone to be on the other line. Anyone. Eddie, maybe. Or Nancy, maybe even Dustin asking for Steve.

She would not have expected Vickie on the other line.

“Robin?” she said in such a beautiful voice that Robin nearly dropped the phone.

“Uh, yes,” Robin stammered and resisted the urge to slap herself for it. “Vickie?”

“It’s me,” she said. “I was calling to see if you were free tonight.” She paused, and when Robin didn’t respond, she added, “To see a movie, or something.”

“Um,” Robin said and leaned against the wall. Any moment now, her legs would give in. “What movie?” What movie? You idiot.

“I was thinking Poltergeist II. If you’ve seen the first. It was pretty great. And if you haven’t, I can catch you up. It just came out in the cinema, and I’ve been waiting for it forever.” She paused again. “So, are you free?”

Robin twirled the cord of the phone with her finger. “Uh, yes,” she decided. “I am. Who else is coming?”

A short pause. “No one,” Vickie said. “Just you.”

Robin’s heart jumped out of her chest. “Just me,” she repeated.

“Yes,” Vickie confirmed. “Is that okay?”

Is that okay? Is that OKAY? “Yes,” Robin said calmly. “What time should we meet?”

Steve appeared in the doorframe, pointing at the phone with a questioning face, and Robin mouthed Vickie in response. Steve raised his eyebrows with a smirk and leaned against the wall.

“How about seven thirty?” Vickie asked. “By the cinema. Movie starts at eight, so we’ll have enough time to grab snacks.”

“Okay, yeah,” Robin said breathlessly. “I’ll…see you then.”

When she hung up the phone, she stared at the handset for a moment, fighting the urge to scream at it. “Holy shit,” she said instead. “Holy shit.”

“Did you just get asked on a date?” Steve teased. “See, I told you! Vickie likes boobies.”

“Not a date,” Robin said. “Just a movie. As friends. I think.”

“Definitely a date,” Steve decided. “Which movie are you seeing?”

“Poltergeist II.”

“Oh.” Steve placed his hands on his hips like he so often did when he entered his ‘Mom-Attitude’, as Robin liked to call it.

“What? What’s wrong with Poltergeist?”

“Nothing,” Steve said and subtly shook his head. “That’s a horror movie.”

“Well, you don’t have to watch it, Stevie, so don’t pee your pants.”

“You’re an idiot, Birdie. You don’t watch horror anymore, remember?”

“I do now,” Robin decided.

“Remember what happened last time you watched a horror movie? Just briefly after the world ended?”

“Don’t seem to recall,” Robin lied. Of course she remembered. She used to love horror movies, or thrillers, anything that’d send a chill down her spine. But ever since… everything, she had gotten averse to it. Any time she’d watch a horror movie, it’d remind her of the horror she had to experience first-hand. Last time she watched a scary movie, it had sent her right into a panic attack, one of the worst ones she’d had up until that point. Steve had turned off the TV and held her for what had felt like an eternity until she had calmed down. It had been one of the first nights they had lived here together, and the last time she had watched a horror movie since then.

“I’m just worried about you,” Steve said. “What if you get another panic attack during the movie? I won’t be there to help you.”

“I’ll be fine. You won’t always be around to help me, and I’ve gotten a lot better.”

“You literally had several panic attacks two nights ago.”

“Well, two-nights-ago-Me is in the past. I’m like a butterfly, slowly crawling out of my cocoon. And now-Me is ready to fly.”

“That’s the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard,” Steve said. “But okay. At least let me help you find a good outfit for your date.”

“Not a date,” Robin objected as she walked into her room, leaving the door open for Steve to follow.

They had painted it together when they moved in – a warm yellow decorated the walls with a bunch of flowers painted over. Robin had pinned a lot of photos on the wall, reminding her of better times. Additionally to the dozens of pillows on her bed, a soft rug covered the floor and a small bookshelf stacked all the books she vowed to read one day, but never had the attention span to do so.

It was her ideal room. The trumpet next to the wardrobe, the oval mirror on the wall above her bed and her collection of sneakers chucked into the corner with doodles all over them – she had carefully crafted every detail of it. And yet, the room provided her with minimal comfort. She felt a lot safer in Steve’s room, even though everything was virtually untouched in there. Blank, tan walls with only a couple of pictures, a neatly made bed every single morning and exactly one bag in the wardrobe next to polo shirts he never wore anymore but couldn’t throw away. Even though his room felt a lot less loved, it felt safe, because he was in it, and he was her safe haven.

A couple of hours later, Robin’s leg was nervously bouncing up and down inside the cinema, looking out for Vickie. She fidgeted with the ring on her index finger, telling herself over and over again that this was not a date, it was a friendly hangout, there was nothing more to it, and she’d be fine during the movie.

Someone tapped on her shoulder, and when she turned around, she looked at the widely smiling face of Vickie. God, she was too pretty.

“You ready?” Vickie asked, and Robin nodded.

“Let’s do this,” she said, more to herself than to anyone else, thinking back to the words Steve had sent her out the door with. ‘Remember to breathe if you have a panic attack. In and out, okay?’

“I’m surprised this place is still open,” Vickie said and adjusted the strap of her bag. “After the earthquakes. Can’t imagine there are a lot of people left to buy movie tickets.”

Robin glanced over the almost empty room. “Yeah,” she said. “They’ll close down soon, probably.”

“Sweet or salty?” Vickie asked.

“Salty.”

“Me too.” She cracked a brief smile. “Way better than sweet popcorn. Wanna share one? The portions they make here are huge.”

Robin felt the blood rush to her face. “Okay,” she said uncertainly and started digging around in her wallet, but Vickie nudged it away.

“I’ll pay,” she offered with a smile. “I invited you after all.”

“Oh,” Robin said, trying to hide the surprise in her face. “Okay. Thank you.” Her eyes wandered over the counter while Vickie ordered one large popcorn and two cokes. There was a small sign on the counter, reading the word HIRING in big, red letters.

“Excuse me,” she said to the guy with a nametag spelling ‘Todd’ behind the counter. “You’re hiring?”

“If you wanna apply, come by with an application,” Todd said. “You can talk to the manager then.”

“Okay.” Robin nodded. “Thanks.” The cinema was one of the few places she and Steve had not checked out yet for applications. It was worth a shot, she figured, and made a mental note to not forget about it later when she’d get home.

“You’re looking for a job?” Vickie asked and handed her one of the cokes. “My parents won’t let me work now, because they’re both taking on extra shifts to repair the damage in the house and I have to take care of my siblings.”

“How bad is the damage?”

“Pretty bad,” Vickie said. “Well, most of it is fixed already. But that earthquake hit us right on. Not as bad as some people have it, but it’s expensive to fix.”

“Why are you still here?” Robin asked. “I mean, nearly everyone else left. Everyone who got hit by the… earthquake, at least. Why not your family?”

“The house was my grandma’s,” Vickie explained. “My parents are really attached to it. My mom, at least. They wouldn’t leave it even if it literally fell apart brick by brick.” She chuckled. “It’s not so bad. I like Hawkins.”

“You do?”

“Sure.” She took a sip through the straw. “It’s my home, you know? It’s kind of shitty, but there are worse places in the world.”

“I guess so,” Robin agreed. There was certainly one worse place to be in and it had come uncomfortably close to spilling over into their dimension.

When the movie started, Robin kept reminding herself to stay to herself, to not cross any boundaries and accidentally reach into the popcorn at the same time as Vickie. It was hard not to look at the other girl the entire time of the movie – even in the darkness of the theater, she was stunning, and Robin couldn’t get enough of looking at her.

The movie did a well enough job of glueing her eyes to the screen instead. It wasn’t as scary as the first part of the duology, Robin decided, but she got chills several times nonetheless.

Then, cold, empty blue eyes on the screen. Was it the screen or her mind?

 You’re fine, you’re fine, you’re fine.

Vines, pulsating, alive. Moving through the forest, leading up to Creel’s house.

You’re fine. Completely fine.

The distant screeching of flesh-eating bats.

Careful. They can hear you.

All air being pressed out of her lungs by the vine wrapping around her throat, the other vines tying her to the wall, rendering her unable to move.

There’s no help for you.

Who do you work for?

Flames, the sound of a gun, screeching, screaming, Eddie’s limp body.

All alone.

Vickie’s hand on hers. “Are you okay?” she whispered, and Robin realized she hadn’t moved her hand out of the popcorn in at least a minute.

All alone. All alone.

“I’m sorry,” Robin whispered back, choked, and blinked away the tears from her eyes. “I have to go.” Without another word, she hurried through the rows of seats and out of the cinema until the evening air hit her face.

“Shit, shit, shit,” she mumbled, clutching the fabric of her shirt, pressing her hand against her chest and sinking down on the sidewalk. “Shit.”

Remember to breathe if you have a panic attack. In and out, okay?

In and out.

Out.

And in.

Robin buried her face in her hands, trying to hide her tears from the people walking past her, and with trembling fingers she started turning her ring again.

In and out. Out and In.

How was she supposed to breathe in and out when she couldn’t breathe at all? Robin leaned back against the wall of the cinema and clenched her fist, repeatedly letting it hit the ground in what she hoped to be a soothing pattern to focus on.

Then, someone’s hand was on her back. Steve?

No, it was Vickie. She started stroking over Robin’s back, just like Steve always did, and Robin unclenched her fist.

In and out. In and out.  In and out.

Vickie sat next to her on the pavement, continuously stroking her back, and Robin said something that was incoherent, even to herself. Christ, look at yourself. You’re a baby. A blabbering idiot who can’t even sit through a horror movie.

It took at least an hour – at least that was what it felt like to Robin – until her heart stopped hammering against her ribcage like a prisoner demanding to be let out.

In.

She took a deep, shaky breath.

And out.

Released it again.

Again.

“I’m okay,” she muttered, scared to face Vickie next to her. Maybe she’d run off now. Maybe she’d think that Robin was a crybaby. Maybe she’d pester her with all sorts of questions, digging way too deep.

“I’m sorry,” Vickie said instead, and Robin looked at her with surprise.

“For what?” Her voice still sounded choked, weak.

“For coming on too strong. I didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable, I’m really sorry.” Vickie took Robin’s trembling hand into her own and smiled at her weakly.

“Coming on too – what?” Robin wiped over her eyes, still needing deep breaths to get enough oxygen back into her lungs. “Vickie – this – this is not your fault. I’m sorry I ruined the movie, I just, I can’t – I can’t watch horror anymore.”

“Why not?” Vickie asked, and she sounded worried, and curious, and interested in anything Robin had to say.

“It’s a long story,” Robin said and leaned her head against the building. “A really, really long story.”

“I wish you had told me,” Vickie said. “I would’ve picked a different movie for our date.”

“Date?” Robin turned her head to Vicky, a fluttery feeling growing in her stomach. “You mean – “

“Was I not clear on that?” Vickie pressed her lips together in a smile. “I’m sorry, I’m terrible with my intentions. I thought you liked me, the way you ran off the other day at the lake, and I really wanted to see you one on one, so I figured, Hey, a movie, that’s always a great first date, but I guess I should’ve been clearer – ,” Her voice stopped abruptly. “I’m really sorry,” she added. “I get it if you don’t want to see me anymore, maybe I misread the situation, and I totally overstepped boundaries with my hand on yours in the cinema there -”

“Vickie,” Robin said to interrupt her monologue. “Holy shit.” Her tears had dried on her cheeks, and the slowly fading panic allowed for a warm feeling to settle in her chest. “I had no idea this was a date.” She sat up straighter and took Vickie’s other hand. “I do really like you. Like, a lot. I didn’t know you were – you know.”

“You can never be really sure,” Vickie said with a soft chuckle.

For a moment, they stared at each other, the stars seemed to reflect in Vickie’s eyes and Robin forgot how to breathe again.

“Um,” she said awkwardly after a while and leaned back against the building, and Vickie did the same. Then, neither of them could stand the awkwardness anymore and they broke out with laughter.

“I am so useless at communicating,” Vickie snickered.

“I am useless at reading clues,” Robin said between laughter. “Holy shit. Once more. Holy shit.”

Vickie grinned as she looked at Robin. “So… how about a second date?”

“Really? After this disaster? You still wanna go out with me?”

“Absolutely.”

“I’m a total mess.”

“And I would love to get to know that mess.” Vickie stood up and held out her hand, and Robin took it. For a brief moment, they were standing terribly close together, Robin could practically smell the popcorn Vickie had been eating, and she smiled.

“Second date, then,” she agreed, and after some contemplation decided not to let go of Vickie’s hand.

“I’ll walk you home,” Vickie offered, and together they strolled through the sleepy streets of Hawkins, over newly patched streets and under a clouded sky.

Chapter Text

Days passed slowly now. Mike wasn’t sure how long it had been since he had learned about the painting he treasured so much, that it had been a lie, and he couldn’t figure out why Will would lie about it in the first place.

The hours at school dragged by even slower, he could hardly keep his focus on class, his mind constantly wandering off. He had promised El not to confront Will about it, but Will hadn’t said anything so far, and Mike’s impatience grew.

“I think you should ask him about it,” Lucas said during break after Mike had given his friends a rundown of what had happened between him and El. “Will doesn’t usually lie. He probably had a good reason.”

“I’ve known him my whole life,” Mike said and threw a rock he found. “He has never lied to me, that’s our whole dynamic.”

“Then ask him,” Lucas repeated.

“And don’t snap at him,” Dustin added. “You tend to do that.”

“I do not!” Mike defended himself and leaned against the concrete wall. “Okay, maybe I do. El said the same thing. Do I really snap that easily?”

Lucas and Dustin both nodded. “Constantly,” Dustin said. “We know you don’t mean any harm,” he added, “but you should practice thinking first.”

“Especially with girls,” Lucas said. “Maybe that’s why El broke up with you. Because you don’t think.”

“Oh, and that’s why it’s going so well with Max?” Mike asked sarcastically. “I guess she hasn’t told you whether she wants to be with you because you think so much.”

“Shut up, at least Max hasn’t dumped me for sure yet,” Lucas bit back.

“Both of you should shut up,” Dustin intervened. “You’re both idiots. The only one who isn’t having any problems with his relationship is me, so if anything, you should listen to me. And Suzie is awesome.”

Mike and Lucas exchanged glances and grinned. “She is pretty cool,” Mike admitted. “But she also lives in Utah.”

“We make it work!” Dustin exclaimed.

“Back to Will,” Lucas said, “are you going to talk to him? Like a normal person?”

Mike chucked another rock onto the ground. “Maybe. I promised El that I wouldn’t confront him about it, she seems to know more about it for whatever reason. She said I need to let him come to me about it.”

“She does live with him,” Dustin said. “But that sounds like you’re waiting for a scared dog to approach you. Just talk to him.”

“Yeah,” Lucas agreed. “You’ve been friends for how many years now? You can handle a little confrontation. It’s not like that would drive a wedge into your friendship.”

“I guess not.” Mike shrugged. “I’ll think about it.”

After school and not actually having given the situation a lot of thought, he was pedaling past his house and straight to Will’s, impatient to confront his supposedly best friend about the lie he had told him. Luckily, it was a warm day, and the breeze made the ride through Hawkins more comfortable. He barely took note of the roads he chose; he would’ve found his way to Will with a blindfold on.

On his way, he went over every possible way he could approach Will about it, but no matter how many scenarios he played through, he couldn’t figure out how to talk about this.

He had never been a talker. Ignoring problems until they go away was far easier, and way more comfortable. That was how he always handled issues – just hope that soon, they wouldn’t be an issue anymore.

But not with Will. With Will, he always wanted to talk through their problems, figure out what caused them and fix them. That was the reason why he had run after Will after their big fight in ’85, and why he came to talk to him in California after their disagreement at the roller rink. Because with Will, wanting a solution was easy. It was what he needed, what they both needed, to talk things through thoroughly and continue being best friends.

But back then, Will hadn’t lied to him. He hadn’t broken the one promise they always made to each other – Friends don’t lie.

And so, when Mike finally arrived at the Byers’ front door, pressing the doorbell, he still hadn’t figured out how to talk about this.

When Will opened the door and looked at him with an uncertain expression, his hand still hovering over the doorknob, Mike’s brain short-circuited, and he chose the first words that came to mind.

“You lied to me.”

Not Why did you lie to me, or Did El really commission that painting, or even Can we talk. Mike swallowed around the lump that had formed in his throat, and crossed his arms, attempting to stick with the words he had said.

“I’m sorry,” Will said. “Do you want to come in?”

“No,” Mike said. “I want you to tell me why you lied.”

“I -,” Will started, scratched his eyebrow and averted his eyes. “I can’t do that.”

“We’re supposed to be friends.” Mike felt something hot bubble up in his stomach, blood rushed to his face. “Best friends, even. And friends don’t lie.”

Will’s mouth twitched as if he wanted to say something other than the words he chose. “I guess we’re not that close, then.”

“I guess not,” Mike said.

For a moment, they stared at each other. A thousand thoughts raced through Mike’s brain, each more complicated than the other, tangling in one big knot.

“Will,” he said then, because he wasn’t ready to let go of it. Of all of this. “Just tell me why you lied. I won’t be mad.”

“You’re pretty mad right now,” Will said and clenched the doorknob in his hand. “I get it. I lied. Maybe I shouldn’t have, but I did that to help you.”

“Help me? How on earth – “

“I helped you believe that El still loved you. I got you out of your cave of self-pity.”

“Which was a lie, too,” Mike said. “El doesn’t love me anymore. Not like that, and what, you want me to be grateful for your flunky attempts to manipulate me into thinking more optimistically?” He scoffed. “That’s hilarious, because last time I checked, you were the one who tried convincing me that we were still as close as before you moved away. You were the one who was sulking when I was in Cali to visit you. And now you’re the one who wants to throw this all away because of some stupid lie you can’t tell me the reason for?”

“Were you visiting us in Cali or were you visiting El?”  Will mirrored Mike’s stance, crossing his arms and attempting to look stern, but he couldn’t hide the rising anxiety in his face.

“I was visiting both of you, I just happened to spend that first day with her, because she was my girlfriend. We already talked about all that, why are you still upset about this?”

“Because I don’t think you heard me,” Will said. “I’m not going to tell you why I lied, because frankly, I don’t think you’d like the reason.”

Mike drooped his shoulders. “At least tell me who commissioned the painting if it wasn’t El.”

Will lifted an eyebrow. “Seriously?”

“What? If you won’t tell me the reason behind your lies, at least tell me part of the truth.”

“God, Mike, you’re the most oblivious person I’ve ever met.”

“I don’t understand you anymore,” Mike complained. “First you say one thing, then another, I don’t get what’s going on with you.”

“Give me a call when you figure it out,” Will said. “Until then, I think I need some space.”

“From me?”

“From us.” Will’s defensive stance disappeared as he closed the door in Mike’s face, leaving him outside to stare at the door. For a moment, Mike wasn’t sure how to feel, then he figured it out.

He felt angry. Angry, confused, betrayed by his best friend.

“If anything, I need a break from you!” he shouted at the closed door, unsure whether Will could hear him, and even less certain if he wanted him to hear it.

“Mom.” El tiptoed into the kitchen in the evening. Once everyone had settled down in the evening, she knew that her adoptive mom always liked to get another cup of hot chocolate for herself, so whenever she needed to talk to her, El knew exactly where to find here.

Especially in the beginning phases of her grief over her dad, Joyce had been there for her every step of the way, taking her in without hesitation. It had taken her a while to refer to Joyce as ‘Mom’, and she still found herself slipping up sometimes. Referring to her as anything other than Joyce had felt strange at first, because there had never been anyone El could call Mom before her. Over time, she had started getting more used to the idea of not being raised by someone who wanted to constantly experiment on her for his own benefit, and after Brenner had died, El had slowly unlearned her habit of referring to him as a father figure and found it easier to accept her place in the Byers’ family. Even though her dad had his own place, she didn’t mind living with her brothers and Joyce, considering that Hopper was over all the time anyways, practically having made the Byers’ house his home.

“Would you like a hot chocolate, sweetie?” Joyce asked in her recently acquired habit of calling El her ‘sweetie’ or ‘sweetheart’. For the first time in her life, El felt like she was part of an actual family, loved and accepted by those she spent her time with.

She shook her head and fidgeted with her hands, uncertain about how to address the topic of Max’s need for a family that her best friend wouldn’t admit to.

“I spoke to Max,” she started slowly. “And she said that the hospital won’t be able to let her go to her trailer once she is released if her mom doesn’t come back. And I was thinking...” she paused, searching for her mom’s kind eyes, waiting for her to continue. “Dad can talk to the bad people,” El continued, mentally slapping herself for not being able to shake the habit of referring to the government as ‘the bad people’. “My adoption went through really fast because of his involvement with them, so maybe...”

“You want us to adopt Max?” Joyce concluded.

“Just to take her in, until her mom comes back. So she doesn’t have to go to another family she doesn’t even know.”

“Sweetie,” Joyce said and wrapped her hands around the warm mug. “We can’t just adopt anyone just because her mom isn’t here right now. We can absolutely take her in for a while, but adoption doesn’t work that way.”

“It could,” El said. “The police have to find her mom, or try to, right?” El recalled what she had read about adoption and foster care in a book she had immediately gotten from the library after talking to Max. “And if they can’t find her, her... parental rights,” she thought for a moment whether that was the right term, “would be taken away by a court. And then everything after that. But dad is the police,” she said. “And he has the advantage of knowing a few secrets that they don’t want revealed. He can make it work.”

Joyce thoughtfully tapped her fingers against the mug. “I can always talk to your dad, see what we can do,” she offered. “But I can’t promise anything.”

El’s heart jumped a little, and she wrapped her arms around her mom, causing her to place the mug on the counter. “Thank you,” El mumbled into the hug. “I’m so worried about Max.”

“She’s a strong girl,” Joyce said. “She will manage.”

“But she doesn’t want to see that she needs help sometimes.” El let go of the hug, worriedly looking at her mom.

“Does she want you to get her adopted by us?”

El crossed her hands behind her back and pressed her lips together. “No,” she mumbled. “But we have to! She can’t live in her trailer alone, we built a ramp for her but the whole place is too cramped for a wheelchair, and how is she going to cook? Her stove isn’t low enough for cooking while sitting, and she’s not used to being blind yet. And she doesn’t have any money.” Quieter, she added, “She just needs a family on paper to take care of her, so she doesn’t end up in foster care.”

“I promise you, I will talk to your dad about it,” Joyce said and took her daughter’s hands into her own. “If Max doesn’t want to live with us, we can’t force her.”

“I just need her to have a parent on paper,” El muttered. “I don’t want to lose her. I love her so much.”

“I know you do, sweetie, I know.” Joyce pulled her back into a hug and gently stroked her hair. “We’ll do everything we can, okay?”

Chapter Text

Steve tried on the fifth shirt of the day, the pile of the others not deemed ‘good enough’ starting to grow. “Do you think this one’s good?” he asked, adjusting the collar of the shirt. He wanted to leave nothing up to random chance – jobs were sparse in Hawkins these days, and the cinema was one of their last options.  

“It looks fine, just like the others,” Robin said. She scrunched her face in the mirror. “Does my make-up look okay?”  

“They will hire you on the spot,” Steve said and took his shirt off again. “Screw it, I’m going back to option One. The first one is always the best one.”  

“Solid choice,” Robin said.  

“I thought they were all fine.”  

“Yeah, well, I lied to stroke your indecisive ego.”  

“Charming as always,” Steve said as he pulled the first shirt over his head.  

Robin paused to look at her reflection in Steve’s mirror another time. Lifting one eyebrow, then the other, then inspecting her teeth.  

“We’ll get this job, Birdie.”  

“We’ll have to, we’re starting to run out of options.”  

“They can’t say No to us if we show up looking this good just to apply. Not even an interview. Everyone else is probably a lot less handsome than we are.”  

“Tell them exactly that and find out how fast they can hire and fire you again.”  

“Ha, ha.” Steve grabbed the keys from his nightstand and shoved them into his pocket. “Let’s go.”

“What if they only want to hire one of us?” Robin asked when they were walking into the building. It was as empty as the other day, and it smelled of popcorn and sugar.  

“Then we’ll still have to take it,” Steve said. “Don’t look at me like that. I’d rather work with you too, but we gotta finance this apartment somehow. My parents aren’t as helpful as they’re pretending to be right now. Trust me, they will probably ask me to pay back every penny.”  

“Yuck,” Robin said matter-of-factly.  

“Hi there,” Steve said to the guy behind the counter. “We’re here to apply for the job.” The guy, who wasn’t wearing a name-tag, mustered them both slowly and leaned on the edge of the counter with both hands. “Got a resume?” he asked slowly.  

“Right here,” Robin said and dropped both their resumes in front of him. The guy without a name-tag took a look at them, turning the paper over and scrunched his nose. Robin glanced at Steve, who shrugged in response.  

The guy looked up again. “You got retail experience?”  

“Scoops Ahoy and Family Video,” Steve said. “Both of us.”  

Robin made an expression that Steve interpreted as As mentioned on the resumes he’s holding, what a dingus , and he crossed his hands behind his back.  

“And you’re both applying. Both of you.” The guy pointed at Robin, then moved his finger back and forth between them.  

“Yes,” they said simultaneously.  

“We’ve worked both our previous jobs together, so we’re a really good team,” Robin elaborated with an awkward smile.  

“Alright,” nameless guy said. “I’ll be right back.” Then, he disappeared through a door behind the counters.  

“Christ,” Steve mumbled. “I could’ve applied to be my grandma’s personal assistant if I wanted to work with someone this slow.”  

“He’s… something,” Robin added under her breath. “But the best shot we got. Stay charming.”  

“Can’t stop being charming.”  

“Dingus.”  

The door opened and the guy returned. “Checked with my boss on the phone,” he said. “You’re hired. Both of you.”  

“What, just like that?” Steve asked, earning himself a nudge in the hip from Robin’s elbow.  

“You’re like, the only applicants we’ve had. Except for one other dude. But he smelled bad, and we can’t have that here.” He scrunched his nose again. “Anyway. You can start next Monday. You’ll get your uniforms then. I’ll train you for a bit, then you’ll be able to take on your own shifts if you’re reliable. We’ll do the paperwork, you’ll just have to sign and fill out a few boxes. Alright?”  

That was the most nameless guy had spoken since they got here, and Steve nodded.  

“Thank you,” Robin said. “We will see you Monday, then.”  

The guy slightly raised his hand, not even waving goodbye, and Robin held onto the fabric of Steve’s shirt as they left.  

“That was easy,” she said outside the building. “Can’t believe we’ll have to work with that guy, but we did it.” A smile grew on her face, and she raised her arm, prompting Steve to high-five her.  

“Go us,” Steve agreed and met her hand with his. “We should do something in celebration.”  

“Like what?”  

Steve thought for a moment. “How about a game night with the others, maybe with a movie? We haven’t done that in a while.”  

“Done!” Robin said. “Can’t wait. No horror, though.”  

“Obviously. We’re inviting children, we can’t show them scary stuff.”  

Robin snickered. “Yeah, right.”  

“Don’t worry,” Steve said and slung his arm around her shoulder as they walked. “No horror.”

Some hours later, Steve opened the door to Eddie’s knocks. “I brought six of my friends!” he announced.  

“Christ, Eddie, we can’t get drunk tonight,” Steve said. “There are kids here.”  

“Well, we don’t have to get them drunk.” Eddie pushed his way past Steve inside the apartment. “But I would love to see you hammered. Wonder what secrets are hiding behind that big head of hair of yours,” he said with a wink.  

“I won’t drink,” Steve stated and followed Eddie into the living room, where everyone else was busy chatting, or glaring at each other.  

“Jesus, what’s gotten into you folks?” Eddie asked, placing the sixpack on the coffee table. “Did I miss something?” He slumped down on the floor next to Robin and leaned closer to her. “I thought I was coming to a game night and not a pity-party.”  

He let his eyes wander across the room. Aside from the low radio music that was playing, not a lot of lively chatter could be heard, it felt almost icy. In the corner, Jonathan was eagerly trying to engage in conversation with Nancy, who only responded in short answers and stared at the wall. Eddie’s eyes wandered further, over a quiet, pensive-looking El on the couch with her legs pulled up to her chest, a similarly absent-minded Lucas close to her and Mike with crossed arms and legs, sulking over something , throwing miffed glances across the room…Eddie’s eyes followed – right toward Will, who was quietly talking to Dustin about whatever, while Dustin seemed to only reply in a stream of uh-huh and oh well .   

Eddie cracked open a beer and raised the rim of the can to his lips, when Steve smacked him on the head. “No drinking,” he said. “These young children are very impressionable.” He glanced around the room. “Come on,” he said, “no protests? I just called you young and children.”  

“Yeah,” Eddie said and raised his can, bringing it to his lips again and taking a swift sip before Steve could take it away. “Cheer up, guys.”  

He glanced over to Robin, who still hadn’t said a word to him, and only now did he notice the redhead next to her. “Hi, Vickie,” he said and raised his hand. “You two seem happier than anyone here.”  

“Normal amount of happiness,” Robin said. “I did just get a job. So, there’s that. Hey, can I get one of those beers?”   

Steve swatted her hand away when she reached for one. “Absolutely not, Birdie. I am not dealing with drunk you tonight. That’s a mess.”  

“Aw,” Robin pouted when Steve took the whole sixpack away.  

“I’ll put that in the fridge. For Eddie to take home later,” he added with a stern look when brief excitement flashed across Robin’s face.   

Eddie glanced back at Robin and Vickie, who were putting their heads together, whispering about something, and with the realization that he wouldn’t get a lot out of Robin tonight, he followed Steve into the kitchen.  

“Christ, you scared me,” Steve yelped when Eddie appeared behind the fridge door. “What’s your obsession with that beer?”  

Eddie shrugged. “I just like seeing people get wasted. Drunk people make bad choices, and bad choices include buying drugs from me.” He reached into his pocket, holding up the tiny plastic bag with weed and snatched it away before Steve could take it away from him.  

“Don’t tell me you’re trying to sell drugs to children, ‘cause if you are, you can leave right now –”  

“Relax, Stevie,” Eddie said and shoved the bag back into his ripped jeans. “I’m going to a different place after this. I only brought this little sample in case you wanna try some.”  

“Why would I want that?” Steve said, crossing his arms and Eddie chuckled because he looked like a single mom trying to be stern with her spoilt kid.  

“Because you’ve been way too stressed lately,” Eddie said. “You need to let go a bit.”  

The truth was, Eddie did have an agenda. He brought the beer specifically for Steve and the few grams of weed too. It wasn’t a lie that he was going to another place after this – he had heard that Tommy Hagan was throwing a party, and there were always a lot of irresponsible young adults and teens there, willing to make bad choices. But he needed to get Steve into a different headspace, because keeping this secret from him was eating him from the inside and he needed to get rid of it, he needed to tell him to feel less guilty about it – but he couldn’t do that with Steve completely sober.  

Maybe that was selfish, Eddie considered. It most likely was, but he didn’t care all too much about his motives.  

“I am not going to drink or smoke anything tonight, got it?” Steve pushed past him, and turned to him another time to add, “Don’t call me Stevie.”  

“Okay,” Eddie said and shrugged. “Stevie.”  

“Don’t.”  

“Since when are you so bossy?” Eddie grinned and leaned against the fridge, crossing his arms, feeling the magnets on the door poke into his back but he was too committed to the pose to stop now. “Kind of suits you, Stevie.”  

“I swear to God, Eddie, if you ever call me that again – “  

“Okay, okay.” Eddie raised his hands apologetically and fixed his eyes on Steve’s, who seemed to be in some state of hypnosis. Why else hadn’t he left the kitchen yet? Eddie felt a low smirk sneak onto his face, and he pushed himself off the fridge, leaning against the wall with one hand, effectively trapping Steve between him and the wall. He leaned in a little closer, just enough that Steve could probably smell the very faint stench of the beer he had before coming here, and locked eyes with him. “Big boy.” He winked, clicked his tongue and left Steve behind in the kitchen, heady with a constant inner stream of What the hell are you doing and Fuck, he smells good .  

Eddie felt the constant stares from Steve on his back when he sat back down with Robin, confusion and an inexplicable look in his eyes whenever Eddie turned to see him.  

He glanced at Robin and Vickie again. They were both leaning back on their hands, their pinkies touching subtly, and Eddie suddenly noticed the redness of Robin’s cheeks and the twinkle in her eyes whenever she looked at Vickie.  

“Whoa,” he said, pointing back and forth between them.  

“I’ll tell you later,” Robin muttered with a soft grin. Her eyes darted to Steve, who was still staring at Eddie with a blank face. “What did you do to Steve? He looks like he’s in a whole other world right now.”  

Eddie turned his head and Steve turned into a tomato when they locked eyes. Flustered, he turned away, and Eddie looked back at Robin and shrugged. “Gotta keep him on his toes a bit.”

“Dude,” Dustin said after Will’s fifth attempt to justify why he was avoiding Mike. “You just keep glaring at each other, can you just move on already?”  

“I can’t,” Will said. “It’s complicated. And Mike is terrible at talking things out.”  

“So are you.” Dustin pushed himself off the floor and grabbed Will’s arm, dragging him along. “You are going to talk about this now.”  He pushed his friend on the couch next to Mike, where the two immediately moved away from each other with crossed arms.  

“I am sick of you two getting into arguments about absolutely nothing, so Talk. It. Out.  Got it? Not only are you ruining everyone’s mood like this, but you are also being absolute dipshits.” He crossed his arms, tapping his foot, waiting for them to talk to each other.  

For as long as he had known them, any fight they’d get in would usually get resolved fairly quickly because neither one of them could live without the other, and if they weren’t going to figure this out themselves, then he’d have to give them a push.   

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Will said.   

“I didn’t even do anything wrong!” Mike shouted. “I don’t get you, Will!”  

Will only huffed and turned his back to Mike.  

“You’re both useless,” Dustin complained. “You’re supposed to be best friends. And why are you sulking so much?” he asked, nodding toward Lucas and El. “Are you fighting too?”  

“Max,” they said at the same time.  

“Both of you need to get it together,” Dustin said decidedly. “Max survived. She is fine, she will handle herself and she doesn’t need you two constantly worrying about her. Obviously, she needs your support, but whining about her condition won’t help her. Get it together.”  

“Finally, someone talks some sense,” Steve said, appearing next to Dustin. He crossed his arms and gestured toward Nancy and Jonathan. “You two,” he said. “Figure out your relationship before showing up at this what was supposed to be fun hangout and glaring at each other. All of you, actually. We all have been through literal hell together,” he paused to glance at Vickie, “well, not you, but it’s great that you’re here.”   

Vickie helplessly looked at Robin, who quietly said something to her and shrugged.  

“Literal hell ,” Steve repeated. “And we’ve stuck together, and now you’re all fighting each other over petty bullshit! Robin and I finally have some good news since this whole mess, and we wanted to invite you all to have a nice night, and all of you showed up in the worst mood. So, go home or whatever. Game-night’s over,” he checked his watch, “not even half an hour in. Be grumpy somewhere else and think about being grateful for still being alive for once. A lot of people in Hawkins don’t have that privilege. Hell, both Max and Eddie almost didn’t make it out, so think about that. Get off your ungrateful asses and stop sulking. And I won’t drive you home, you can walk.”  

“Or,” Robin said and jumped to her feet, “stay and stop fighting right here. We got board games! And card games. And there’s always classic party games, Truth or Dare, Seven Minutes in Heaven, stuff like that. Something .”   

For a moment, nobody spoke. Then, Lucas slightly raised his hand. “I like boardgames.”  

“Yeah, whatever,” Mike said. “Sure.”  

“Get some snacks,” Nancy added and sat down on the floor next to Robin. “We came here to have fun. Not to fight.”  

“ Thank you,” Steve said. “Christ, now I actually need a drink.”  

Chapter Text

The evening turned around eventually, turning the grim stares into laughter and a brief food-fight with popcorn, and while the others were busy discussing which game to play next, Steve excused himself to go to the kitchen. He was just going to get himself some water, because Eddie was still continuously trying to convince him to drink alcohol, and he wanted to keep a clear head.

Eddie, however, didn’t seem to follow that principle.

“I think you should go home,” Steve said when he noticed Eddie entering the kitchen after him. “You’ve been drinking way too much for an evening with children around.”

“I’m not a lightweight like you, Stevie,” Eddie objected. “Couple of beers have never hurt me.”

“Didn’t we already go over this? Not even Robin gets to call me that. She does anyway, but I don’t like it.”

Eddie hopped on the counter, his legs dangling off as his hands gripped the edge. Steve ignored him, pouring himself a glass of water instead and attempted to leave the kitchen again, but Eddie held his hand against his chest.

“Stay for a moment,” he said.

“Alright,” Steve said, choosing to entertain him and placed his glass down. “What’s this about?”

“I was a jerk to you,” Eddie sighed. “And I know you kinda like that, but I gotta stop, man.”

“Whoa,” Steve said and raised his hands just above his shoulders. “I do not like it when you’re being a jerk to me. Why would anyone like that?”

Eddie shrugged. “I’ve known some folks.”

“We already talked about this,” Steve said, thinking back to the talk he had with Eddie outside of his trailer about Chrissy. “We’re good.”

Eddie shook his head. “Mhm. Don’t think so.”

“Why not?”

“Because I didn’t tell you everything.” He lightly pressed his index finger against Steve’s chest. “There’s more.”

“More of what?”

“More of the reason why I was such a jerk to you, Stevie.”

“Shut it.”

“You wanna know the reason?”

“I mean, yeah.” Steve was weirdly aware of Eddie’s finger digging into his sternum, but he didn’t mind. In a really weird way, he could’ve stayed like this forever.

“You can’t tell anyone else,” Eddie said and put his finger to Steve’s lips, pretending to shush him.

“Alright,” Steve said and pushed his hand away. “I think you really need to go home. You’re tipsy.”

“You saved my ass, Stevie,” Eddie said and slid off the counter, gripping the fabric of Steve’s shirt. “And I hated you for it. I deserved to die.” His words sounded a little slurred together. “’Cause I wasn’t worth saving. I’m a coward, always have been, always will be.”

“You’re not – ”

“Shut up, I’m talking.” He gripped his shirt harder. “But I’m kinda sick of it, of the whole coward shtick. An’ I was a jerk to you because it was hard to know that you of all people had the decency to save my ass, because you’re not supposed to be the hero, you’re supposed to be the rich, popular asshole that I knew you as. I don’t like it when I’m wrong and I like it even less when some guy like you gets to play hero. An’ that pissed me off, Stevie.”

“That’s so dumb,” Steve said.

“Shut up. Still talking.” Eddie let his head fall forward with a deep sigh, and pulled Steve closer by the shirt before lifting his head again. “The first thing I remember after almost dying is your face, ‘cause you were carrying me, fucking bridal style. Who does that? Anyone else would’ve just dragged me. But not you, not perfect Harrington. You just had to show off, didn’t you?”

“I – “

“Steve,” Eddie said with a stern face. “I am still talking. Shut up. I didn’t wanna see you at first because I hated that you did that for me, that you got me out of there. And then, I didn’t wanna see you because I couldn’t stand being near you, because you’re so, so goddamn – “ He pulled him even closer, and Steve’s first impulse was to push him off, but then he noticed that Eddie didn’t just smell of beer, but of clean laundry and sandalwood, and all he could do was stare right into Eddie’s eyes. “You’re so – “ Eddie said again and his lips curved into a smile when Steve didn’t move away. “So – “

“What on earth are you doing?”

Steve hastily pushed Eddie away, turning to Robin standing in the doorway with a wide grin on her face. “Knew it,” she said, “called it!” Then, she clasped her hands over her mouth, and with big eyes said “Oh my God, did I ruin it? Did you kiss?”

Steve cleared his throat and smoothened out his shirt. “Nothing happened,” he said with as stable a voice he could manage and squeezed past Robin. “Eddie needs to go home anyway.”

“I don’t need to go anywhere, Stevie.” Eddie grinned, and Steve forbade himself to think about how fast his heart was beating in that moment.

“Don’t call me that. Ever.” He turned away, and just as he was about to leave, he heard Eddie’s voice again.

“I’ll leave,” he said. “I’m sorry. But I do need a ride.”

“I’ll see if Nancy can drive you,” Steve said, but he was held back by Eddie grabbing his arm.

“Steve,” he said, “you wanted me to talk to you, I’m ready to talk to you. Please.”

Steve threw a glance at Robin, who scrunched her face with skepticism.

“Fine,” he decided. “I’ll drive you. But talking is all we will do, got it?”

“Your friends are intense,” Vickie said to Robin after everyone else had already left. Steve was still out with Eddie doing God knows what, and Robin couldn’t wait for him to return and tell her about what happened in the kitchen earlier.

“They can be,” Robin said and collected the plates they had eaten off to put in the dishwasher.  “But I like that about them.”

Vickie followed Robin to the kitchen and leaned on the counter. “What did Steve mean earlier? What happened to you guys?”

“Oh,” Robin said and thought for a moment, forgetting about the plates in her hands. “Just… you know, the earthquake and everything. And Eddie was at Starcourt when the fire happened last year, that almost ended badly.” She glanced at Vickie and cleared her throat, surprised about how easily she could lie. It stung a little, because Vickie didn’t deserve to be lied to, but was there really any world in which Robin could ever tell her the truth?

Knowing about the Upside Down meant being involved with the Upside Down, and even though it was all sealed up for good now, there was just no guarantee that it wouldn’t come back to haunt them eventually. And then Vickie would be part of it. And even if it never came back, if there was no future in which this dangerous alternate dimension had any way of finding its way into their lives ever again, then what would be the point in telling her? Robin would just sound like a nutcase and she didn’t want to scare Vickie off, or have her go around telling people about this. It was probably best to keep this part of her life to herself, locked away in a drawer somewhere.

“It’s kind of crazy to think that Hawkins had some sort of tragedy happen every year now,” Vickie said.

“Well, since 1983,” Robin added. “Since Will.”

“How did he end up in your friend group? Is he one of the kids who were friends with Steve?”

“Yeah,” Robin said and finally put the plates into the dishwasher. “Well, he’s friends with Dustin, who Steve practically adopted, and so he just started taking care of the whole group. Mike, Lucas, Will, Max. And he’s also Jonathan’s brother, who is – or was, I’m not sure – dating Nancy, who Steve used to date.”

“Lots of history there,” Vickie said.

“And I kind of got reeled into the whole group last year.” More or less voluntarily.

“Do you ever think that Hawkins is actually cursed? I mean, that’s what people are saying. Conspiracy theory people, but they kind of have a point, I mean, so many deaths every year? The fire in Starcourt, all those murders, the earthquake which literally ripped Hawkins apart – that can’t all be coincidental, right?”

“Maybe,” Robin said and shrugged. “Either way, I’m glad it’s all over now.”

“How do you know?” Vickie asked. “I mean, maybe next year, another tragedy will strike.”

“Just a feeling.”

“You don’t like talking about it, do you?”

Robin attempted a smile, but it came out rather unhappy. “Not really,” she said. “I’m sorry. I know you just want to connect, but all of this is a difficult topic for me, and I can’t let myself think about it for too long.”

“Okay,” Vickie said softly and placed one hand on Robin’s arm with a smile, then pulled her into a comforting hug. “I’m sorry I brought it up.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Robin whispered into the hug, too focused on the fact that Holy Shit, Vickie is touching me to speak at a normal volume.

Vickie let go of the hug and reached out for Robin’s hands instead. “So, what do we do with the rest of the night?”

Robin glanced outside the window. It was already dark out, but the beginning of June still allowed for warm nights. “We could go outside,” she suggested. “There’s a really old playground near here, we could just… sit on the swings and look at the stars and talk.”

“That sounds nice,” Vickie said with a smile on her lips and stars in her eyes.

The gravel under the swings seemed more comforting than the swing set itself, and Robin weirdly enjoyed the tiny pebbles poking into her skin.

“Favorite song?” Vickie asked.

They were leaning against each other’s back, their hands touching on the ground and Vickie had asked Robin to play a questions game to get to know each other better. Robin, still being unable to believe that Vickie might actually like her, had agreed immediately.

“I Melt With You. Modern English. You?”

“Bad Reputation, Joan Jett and the Blackhearts.”

“Suits you. Favorite color?”

“Green. Like, a dark one. The type of green in pine forests. Favorite memory?”

“Probably when I came out to Steve. I was super scared, because he had a crush on me.” Robin snickered. “And you know, he could’ve been super shitty about it, but he wasn’t, instead he just immediately bashed my taste in girls and moved on. We were both super high.” High probably wasn’t the right word for whatever they had really been – but involuntarily drugged by Russians who wanted them dead sounded too serious.

“I can’t even picture you high.”

“Well, you’ll never have to, I’m not doing that again. First relationship?”

“Real relationship or first kindergarten relationship?”

“Let’s go kindergarten.”

“Becky Miller. We even held hands until our parents stopped us from seeing each other.”

“And your first real one?”

“My ex-boyfriend. You?”

“I never had one.” Robin stared at the sky and leaned her head back until it met the back of Vickie’s head. “All I’ve ever done is hopelessly crush on pretty girls.”

“What about first crush?”

“Tammy Thompson.”

“She’s such a dud.”

“That’s exactly what Steve said.”

They laughed, and Robin felt Vickie’s fingers link with hers. “Have you ever kissed anyone?”

“Nope,” Robin said. “Well, unless you count my aunt Marlene. She just loves smooching my face. It’s disgusting.”

“All time favorite movie?”

“The Apartment. Seriously, if anyone doesn’t like it, I’ll be offended.”

“I’ve never seen it.”

“Well, we are watching it together.”

Vickie laughed again and she squeezed Robin’s hand.

“What about yours?”

“Fast Times.”

“Oh, right,” Robin said. “I remember that. We talked about it before.”

“It’s a great movie.”

“It is.”

“Got any more questions?”

Robin thought for a moment. “What are your life goals?”

“Longterm or short-term?”

“Longterm.”

“I haven’t really thought about it.”

“What about short-term?”

“Being your first kiss.”

Robin died. For a moment, she thought her heart stood still and every single drop of bone in her body collectively rushed to her head. She had never kissed anyone. Did she want to kiss Vickie? Yes, absolutely. What if she was bad at it? She had absolutely no idea what she’d be doing. What if Vickie thought she was so bad that she’d never wanna see her again?

“Did I come on too strong again?”

“No, not at all,” Robin fumbled for words. “Just… whoa.”

Vickie turned around to face her. The sudden loss of contact on her back made Robin shiver, but their hands were still intertwined, and Vickie looked at her like she was the only person in the world. “Would you like me to be your first kiss, too?”

Robin stared for a moment. Then, she quietly said, “Yes.”

Vickie’s left hand touched her cheek, her thumb brushing over Robin’s cheekbone, and Robin’s heart seemed to burst out of her chest when Vickie’s lips touched hers, sending sparks through her whole body.

This was what kissing was? Robin suddenly understood why people liked to do it so much. Then, she realized that her eyes were still open. Aren’t they supposed to be closed? Before she could think about it too much, their lips parted, and Vickie looked right into her eyes.

“Whoa,” Robin said again. “Holy shit.”

“Good?” Vickie asked with a slight grin.

“Awesome.”

“Oh my God, I am so glad,” Vickie said and let out a long breath. “I was so scared you’d say No. Obviously, that would’ve been fine. But I’m not usually this confident. I’m just faking.” A relieved laugh escaped her lips, and Robin joined her.

“Those were the best ten seconds of my life.”

“Wanna do it again?”

“Oh, for sure.”

Chapter Text

Greatest Love of All was playing on the car radio that Nancy had turned up all the way. She was in the passenger seat, staring out of the window at the passing streetlights and the grey clouds. Her fingers tapped her legs to the rhythm of the music and her mind was elsewhere, wandering through the maze of her confusing thoughts.

Aside from the music, the car was filled with uncomfortable silence, and after a while of desperately trying to think of something to say, Nancy reached out to turn the volume of the radio down. She turned her head to Jonathan, who kept his eyes on the road.

“Are we okay?” she asked, and he briefly glanced at her.

“I keep waiting for you to tell me,” he said. “You have every reason to be mad at me.”

Nancy crossed one leg over the other and stayed quiet for a moment. “I don’t think we are,” she said. The words felt like a blade in her heart.

“So, what do we do?” he asked, and he sounded just as worried as Nancy felt.

“I’m going to Emerson,” she said. “And you should go to the college you want to go to and not force yourself into something you’re not.”

“I want you to follow your dreams, Nance.” His hand found Nancy’s and their fingers linked. Somehow, the touch felt final – like one last memory imprinting on her mind.

“I don’t want to do long-distance anymore,” Nancy whispered.

The car came to a halt in front of her house. The porch light was lit, and Mike’s bike wasn’t there yet. He’d come home soon after her, and they’d probably fight about something and then she’d vent about him to Jonathan. That’s how this usually went.

“So, that’s it?” Jonathan asked.

“That’s it,” Nancy said.

They looked into each other’s eyes, and Nancy knew that neither one of them wanted this, but at the same time there was no denying anymore that their relationship had an expiration date.

“I love you, Nance.”

“I love you too.”

She let go of his hand, and with a soft smile that couldn’t hide her sadness, opened the car door.

She stood in the street as Jonathan drove away, and she stood in the street after the lights of his car had already disappeared.

When the weight of her heart became too unbearable, she turned away and headed inside.

Mike would come home soon. They’d fight about something, and then she wouldn’t vent about it to Jonathan.

Maybe she’d write about it in her diary. Or she’d stare at the ceiling all night long, contemplating whether she should practice her patience with her brother.

The house felt empty. Despite the lights and the muffled sound of the TV coming from the living room, Nancy didn’t feel like anyone was home. Holly was likely already asleep, and her parents didn’t seem to be interested in Nancy’s personal life. Of course, her mother would hug her when something bothered her, and of course her father would attempt to give – admittedly poor - advice in any situation, but Nancy rarely felt like they actually wanted to be there for her. For a moment, she stood in the entrance, listening to the TV noises, and she took a deep breath.

She’d tell them about her breakup another time. They would only ask questions she didn’t want to think about.

When she closed the door to her room behind her, Nancy felt the urge to break into tears, but she didn’t seem to have any energy to let her emotions out. Instead, she let herself fall on her bed, her legs hanging off the edge and she stared at the luminescent stars on her ceiling.

She had put those stars up there years ago with Barb. Whenever Nancy missed her best friend, she liked to look at the soft glow they emitted in the dark and thought back to their shared memories. It pained her to remember what she didn’t have anymore. Any amount of memories she had with Barb were finite, she would never collect any more of them. But it was good to think about her. Sometimes, Nancy was scared she might forget about Barb one day if she didn’t remember her often enough.

In that moment, she felt awfully alone. Losing Jonathan was the last straw it took for her to feel like she had no one in the world.

Of course, she hadn’t lost Jonathan. They could still be friends and catch up, and regardless of their relationship status, Nancy knew that Jonathan would always care about her. And she definitely had a lot of people in her life who still cared about her.

Almost automatically, her arm reached over to the phone on her nightstand, and she dialed the first number that came to mind.

It rang multiple times while she twirled the cord around her hand, but when neither Steve nor Robin picked up after two minutes, she hung up again.

Maybe it was better this way. Maybe she’d feel fine tomorrow, and she’d regret crying to her friends if she had reached them.

With a long breath, she fell back into the pillow, staring at the stars until her eyelids became too heavy.

“You sure this is where you want me to drop you off?” Steve asked, skeptically eyeing the crowd of drunk people gathered outside what appeared to be an abandoned warehouse or garage or something like that.

Eddie was holding onto a small box in his lap, one that he had pulled out of his van before leaving. He even briefly talked to his van – Who the hell talks to cars? – with the promise of picking it up tomorrow.

Their car ride had been terribly quiet, and Steve kept wondering why Eddie would want to be dropped off anywhere but his own home. Blasting music was coming from inside the old building, graffiti covered the grey cement walls and a couple of people seemed to be in a heated argument.

“Absolutely,” Eddie said. “This is where I make bank.”

“Don’t you need a clear head to ‘make bank’?”

“For the last time, Stevie, I am not drunk. Maybe I feel a little dizzy but that’s only because you keep talking my ear off.”

“I haven’t said a word for the entirety of this ride.”

Eddie swung the door open and got out. For a split second, Steve considered just leaving him here. This was his area of expertise, Eddie knew what he was doing, and all Steve had done was promise him a ride. Nothing else.

And yet, quicker than he could think, he found himself locking his car and following Eddie into the building. An overwhelming smell of alcohol hit him in the face, and music so loud he could barely hear his own thoughts. Eddie didn’t seem to mind.

“Eddie,” he said, then he shouted it because no way would he understand him in this drowning noise, and he grabbed him by the shoulder.

“Stevie,” Eddie said, “let me just do my business here.” He patted the box in his hands. “Couple of conversations, a few drunk idiots will probably buy more than they really want, I’ll make some cash and then I’ll meet you outside, alright?”

Before Steve knew it, Eddie was gone, disappearing between the crowd of drunks, and Steve suddenly felt a strong sense of discomfort. It was too much noise, too many different smells.

The night air he craved so much after just a minute of being inside that stuffy building filled his lungs. “Christ,” he mumbled to himself and leaned on his car, crossing his arms and keeping an eye on the entrance to the building. In case Eddie decided he wanted to take off without Steve, he’d see him right away and stop him.

He wasn’t sure why he cared so much about Eddie getting home safe. Maybe it was because he still owed him that talk. Whatever had happened between them in the kitchen earlier was still on Steve’s mind, he had no idea what to make of the situation. The only thing he knew was that Eddie would probably get lost in the woods somewhere if he didn’t drive him home, and so he kept waiting, tapping his foot up and down, impatiently staring at the entrance, until finally, Eddie showed his face again.

“Eddie!” he yelled, and with some glances around the area, Eddie headed back towards him.

“I’m done,” he said. “We can go.”

This time, Steve stopped Eddie from getting away with a hand on his chest. “You’re not going anywhere yet. You still owe me that talk, remember?”

“I pretty much told you everything in the kitchen earlier.”

“That must’ve happened in your fantasy because I don’t have any clue what’s wrong with us. You were mad at me for several reasons, then you got over it and then we got interrupted, so, what’s the rest of it?”

Eddie stared at Steve for a moment, narrowing his eyes in thought. “Changed my mind,” he said. “Don’t wanna tell you anymore.”

“Oh, come on.”

Eddie ducked under his arm and slipped into the car. “Chop chop, Stevie. Gotta get home.”

Steve groaned. How could he ever get anything out of Eddie if he didn’t talk to him? One minute he said he was ready to talk, the next he wanted to ignore him again. Maybe this was how it was always going to be now. Eddie had made himself clear; they weren’t friends, and they’d never figure out what caused this weird, charged tension between them.

“Steve,” Eddie said again when Steve sat down in the driver’s seat, putting on his seatbelt.

“What?” Steve couldn’t hide the annoyance in his voice.

“I’ll tell you,” Eddie said.

“Make up your mind.”

“I’ll tell you,” he repeated, “if you promise not to get mad.”

“That really depends on what it is.”

“Promise me you won’t get mad, and you’ll still talk to me even if what I’m about to tell you doesn’t fit into your perfectly designed life.”

“My life is anything but perfect - “

“Steve.”

“Okay, fine.” Steve huffed and turned to Eddie. “I promise I won’t get mad.”

“Okay,” Eddie said and took a deep breath, slowly exhaling it as he leaned into his seat. “This is hard.”

“You said you’d tell me, now do it.”

“I will, I will, give me a moment.” He stayed quiet for a while, and Steve kept his eyes fixed on him with growing impatience. “Ever since I woke up in your arms carrying me out of the Upside Down, I’ve sorta had a crush on you. ‘Crush’, that sounds like I’m a thirteen-year-old. Let’s say I’m massively into you. Actually, probably since I pressed that knife into your throat at the boat house. Yeah, since then. And that’s why I’ve been avoiding you. ‘Cause it makes things awkward.”

What the fuck. “What the fuck,” Steve said.

“Charming as always, Stevie. I confess my deepest secret to you and all you can say is What the fuck?” Eddie dramatically held his hand over his heart and faked a pained expression.

“Sorry.” Steve’s mind was tangled in all sorts of ways. How did he not see that? The way Eddie came onto him in the kitchen – in the moment, Steve had assumed something, but he had shaken off that thought, thinking Eddie’s just being a tipsy idiot. “That is... something.”

“You have such a way with words. You should become a poet.”

Steve ignored the sarcasm in his voice. “Christ,” he said and stared through the windshield instead of Eddie’s face. “I’m sorry, man,” he said, “but - “

“I know, I know. You’re not into guys, you’re into girls like Nancy or whatever. That’s fine, I never expected you to give me any other response. Maybe something other than What the fuck, but it’s honestly fine.”

“You sure?” Steve turned his head back to look at Eddie, who reciprocated the look way more intensely with something in his eyes that seemed to worship Steve into heaven. Way to beat the ‘obsessed with yourself’ allegations.

“Absolutely,” Eddie said. “Don’t even think about it again.”

Steve didn’t know what else to say. Sure, he was used to girls confessing their crushes on him, and that usually wasn’t a big deal. But Eddie suddenly developing feelings for him? That was new. Eddie didn’t seem like the type of guy to have a crush. He seemed like the type of guy to make out with someone random behind a dumpster after getting wasted at a club.

“I’ll drive you home,” Steve said and started the engine. “It’s late, and I need sleep.”

Chapter Text

Max wasn’t sure how Hopper had pulled it off to get her out of the hospital without her mom. For a small-town police chief, he had a lot of power over the government.

The cast around her leg had finally come off, now her only issue was the heavy cast around her arm. Hawkins always heated up in summer, and the temperatures were starting to rise, causing her to sweat and itch under the hard material.

As El wheeled her out of the hospital doors, Max knew that she wasn’t going to miss this place. She’d have to come back a couple times for check-ups and to get the cast removed, but other than that, she hoped to never have to be here again. It even smelled neutral in the halls. For the first time in her life, she was glad to smell the fumes of passing cars.

She let herself be lifted into the car, too overwhelmed by her senses to manage to get herself in – which proved difficult to do anyways with only one working limb - and as Hopper stored the wheelchair in the trunk, El joined Max in the backseat. Her hand soon found Max’s, and Max could feel her best friend’s eyes on her.

“Spit it out,” she said, “why are you staring? What are you trying to tell me?”

“Don’t be mad,” El said meekly. “We are not going to your trailer. You will stay with us until we find your mom, so you can move back in with her and get your trailer adjusted to your needs.”

Max was about to protest, but El squeezed her hand and kept talking. “It’s not because we think you can’t handle yourself. Promise. It’s just a lot of change to deal with all alone, and it would be nice to have friends there with you to deal with it together, right?”

Max pressed her lips together and sunk deeper into her seat as Hopper started the engine.

“This one tried to make us adopt you,” he said, Max could hear a smile in his voice, followed by a punch into his shoulder. “Your mom still has custody, kid,” he said. “You’re just officially living with us now until she comes back, or until you’re old enough to live on your own.”

“Whichever happens first,” Max grumbled. She hated to admit it, but they were right. A tiny voice inside her head told her that she would never be able to live alone like this, not until she was used to living in an actual living space in a wheelchair and without using her eyes. It was probably for the best to have someone give her a hand every now and then while she was still getting adjusted.

“Just don’t go ‘round telling people about this arrangement,” Hopper said, and Max imagined him glancing at her through the rearview mirror. “I pulled some strings, but they can just as easily cut through them again.”

“I won’t,” Max said quietly.

“You’ll share a room with me,” El said. “Will is going to share with Jonathan. It’ll be fun.”

“Your house isn’t made for wheelchairs either,” Max said. “It’s just bigger.”

“And you won’t be alone there,” El added. “You can do everything on your own, but in case you ever need any help, we will be there for you.” She crafted each word carefully, clearly not wanting to upset Max in any way.

“And if you need anything else, you can let us know,” Hopper said. “Handrails for the bathroom or whatever else. I’m sure you’ll come up with something.”

The seat might as well have swallowed Max whole. She knew she should thank them and accept their help, but no sound came over her lips. In that moment, she wished that she could just get out of the car and run far away, so far to a place where nobody knew her, and she could just be a regular person without trauma from alternate dimensions and monsters.

One of the bigger advantages of the Byers’ house was that there were no stairs. The step to the front porch was slim enough to get up there with minimal help, and Max was starting to look forward to being able to wheel herself around. It wasn’t just hard to do with only one working arm, but it was frustrating to always have to rely on other people to do a simple thing like moving around, getting dressed and using the bathroom.

“We can get all your things from your trailer soon,” El said as she pushed the wheelchair into their room. “And then you can make this room your own too. It will be half me, half you.”

“Is there even a point in doing that?” Max asked. “I won’t see it anyways. You could decorate this room in the most horrid colors for all I care.”

“Max,” El said and sat down on her mattress. “Please just try to want to be around. We all love you and I know things are hard, but they will get better, and we need you to try to be alive.”

“How do you know things will get better? Maybe I’ll never be okay again. I’ll never walk or see again, things suck now.”

“They will get better because —”

“Don’t say because you are helping me.”

“Because you are the strongest person I know. Things are different now, but you are not. You are still Max.”

“Mad Max,” Max added. “Okay, yeah. Whatever. I’ll try to be okay. Somewhat. But I can’t promise anything, because things do suck, and I get to be pissed off about them.”

“Absolutely,” El said. “You can scream about them, and you can punch pillows and be mad about them all day long if you want to be.”

“Yeah,” Max muttered. “I might.” She stayed quiet for a moment. “Sitting all day kinda sucks,” she said then. “But at least I won’t have to participate in P.E. anymore at school.” She grinned a little. “And I might get sympathy points out of the teachers to improve my grades.”

“It’s not all so terrible,” El said with a smile in her voice.

“I can’t stub my toes on furniture anymore,” Max said. “Or at least it won’t hurt when I do. And I’ll always have a seat with me when I have to wait in queues.” A feeble smile snuck onto her lips. “Maybe there is some good. Just a little bit.”

Both Mike and Lucas were not in the mood for spending any time at school. After defeating Vecna, it seemed ridiculous to be there in the first place. The only one whose mood was still unaffected was Dustin, constantly trying to get the other two out of their cave of pity.

“She still hasn’t told me whether or not she wants to be with me,” Lucas complained and kicked against a rock.

“You could, oh, I don’t know, talk to her again,” Dustin said. “Why do you keep waiting around? Just talk. It’s really not hard.”

“Easy for you to say,” Lucas said. “Your whole relationship is only based on talking over Cerebro.”

“Yeah, it’s more real when she’s actually here,” Mike added in support.

“Suzie’s and my relationship is very real,” Dustin objected. “And unlike you, we are actually able to communicate and solve our problems.”

“How am I even supposed to bring this up?” Lucas asked. “She’s got other problems now. She probably hasn’t even thought about me.”

“Christ, Lucas, you’re so whiny.”

“I think you’ve been hanging out with Steve too much.”

“How about a romantic gesture?” Mike suggested. “Like, a big one. A dozen roses or something. And chocolate, girls love chocolate.”

“What’s the point of roses if she can’t even look at them?” Lucas shrugged.

“I think I found your problem,” Dustin said.

“What problem?”

“The reason she’s not even considering getting back together with you now.”

“And what’s that?”

“When you think of her, you think of her disabilities.” Dustin leaned against the concrete wall of the school building and crossed his arms. “She wants you to think of her as Max, and only Max.”

“That’s not true!” Lucas objected, and Mike scrunched his face. “It kind of is,” he said.

“You gotta show her that you see more in her than her handicaps. Take her out on a date, get her roses, show her that you are still the same guy she fell in love with for whatever reason.”

“Since when are you such an expert on love?” Lucas grumbled, but he knew his friends were right. He couldn’t stand being apart from Max, and admittedly it had been hard to overlook her disabilities. Not because he thought less of her for it – but because it seemed impossible not to worry about her all the time.

When he thought of Max, he thought of their memories together. Their first kiss at the snowball, their first date as awkward kids, their conversation in the junkyard while waiting for the demodogs to arrive. Max meant everything to him, she always had, and he wasn’t ready to let go of that.

“Okay,” he decided, “I’ll do some grand romantic gesture for her. I’ll win her back.”

The clock showed eleven in the morning when Steve woke up to the smell of breakfast, with a groggy feeling and a headache. He let the events from last night come back to him. Their friends had come over, he had driven Eddie to that party, then Eddie had confessed his feelings for Steve and Steve had rejected him and driven him home.

Crap.

“Birdie!” he yelled, wide awake, and left the comforting darkness of his room for the bright sunlight shining through the living room window.

Robin was right there, putting a stack of pancakes on a plate and pouring coffee into her favorite mug. “Pancake?” she asked with a cheery smile.

“Why’d you make pancakes?”

“You did last time,” she said and put one of the pancakes on Steve’s plate. “So, I figured, it’s my turn. I heard you had a rough night.”

“Not that rough,” Steve said and sat down at the table, picking up his fork. “Just...confusing.”

“Eddie told me.” Robin shoved a bite of pancake into her mouth. “Wow, I’m bad at making pancakes.” She spat it out again. “Don’t eat those.”

“Can you believe him?” Steve said and opted for coffee instead of the food. “Out of the blue, he confesses his feelings for me.”

“Out of the blue?” Robin lifted one eyebrow. She was sitting cross-legged on her chair and took a sip from her coffee. “You can’t actually believe that.”

“What, you think he lied?”

“No, dingus. You can’t actually believe that it was out of the blue. He’s been dropping hints for ages and you’re just too dumb to pick up on them.”

“I don’t recall any hints.”

Robin smacked the back of his head. “You’re an idiot. He’s been into you for months.”

“Yeah, he told me that too.” Steve rubbed the back of his head. “But it doesn’t make any sense to me.”

“Why not? He’s gay, you’re a handsome dude with money, of course he’s into you. You’re totally his type.”

“His type,” Steve said and tapped his finger against his mug thoughtfully. “How can I be his type? We’re completely different, the only thing we have in common is trauma.”

“Trauma-bonding is real,” Robin said. “And yes, you’re his type. Guys who are too good to be true, guys who would drop everything not just to save their loved ones, but anyone who’s in danger. And guys with so much hair he can run his fingers through it and pull your head back.” She raised her hands with a grin when Steve looked at her with mild shock. “His words, not mine.” She took another sip of her coffee. “Makes sense, though. You’re all of those things.”

“You think I’m too good to be true?”

“No,” Robin said. “Eddie does. I’m not the one swooning over you. I think you’re kind of okay to be around, when there’s no one else to hang out with.”

“Asshole.”

“You love me.”

“Unfortunately, I do. Why are you up right now, anyway? You usually sleep in.”

“First day of work, remember? I was about to wake you up before you came barging in here like a lunatic to tell me about your crush.”

“Not my crush, his crush.”

“Same thing.” Robin got up from the table and took the plate of pancakes with her to the kitchen, where she threw them all in the trash. “Get dressed, dingus. We don’t wanna be late. And we need to get ourselves some breakfast on the way. Well, lunch now.” She finished her coffee in one last swig. “You really need to teach me how to make pancakes.”

Chapter Text

Working at the counter in a cinema that was hardly visited was no different than working at Family Video, Robin realized. The only difference was that their uniforms were uglier, and they sold popcorn and tickets instead of movies.  

Other than Steve and Robin, there was only the guy without a nametag who had introduced himself as Christopher, Todd and the manager. After their initial training which only took about an hour or so, Christopher had left them alone in their shift, saying something about how they work well together.  

Robin was glad about that – she was not very interested in meeting new people, and this job was as easy as any. Working with Steve was familiar and comfortable, and nobody at this cinema seemed to be really motivated anyways. She figured their days there would be slow and easy-going, and that was exactly how their first shift went.  

“You haven’t told me about your night with Vickie yet,” Steve said and opened his mouth for Robin to throw popcorn in. The amount of popcorn on the ground around him was steadily growing.  

“No big deal,” Robin said and threw again, and Steve missed again. “We talked a lot. And we kissed.” She threw one into her own mouth, catching it and pointing at her face while swallowing it. “See? That’s how you do that.”  

“You kissed ?”  

“Yeah.” Robin bit back a smile and put the bucket of popcorn down on the counter. “It was awesome, and she even asked me if I wanted it, like, hello , that’s so hot.”  

“Aw, Birdie!” Steve threw his arms around her and ruffled her hair. “Your first kiss! You’re growing up!”  

“Shut up, asshole.” Robin pushed him away with a wide grin. “I think I’m pretty bad at kissing, but she didn’t seem to notice, or care. And she was just as nervous as me.”  

“So, you’re serious now?” Steve asked and leaned against the counter. “Is she your girlfriend?”  

“Way too soon,” Robin said. “I don’t think we are. We haven’t talked about that. It’s a big conversation to have. And I’ve never had a conversation this big.”   

“You gotta have it eventually.”  

“Why, though? Why can’t I just have a nice thing going on without having to talk about it?” Robin groaned.  

“Because relationships don’t work without talking. Any kind of relationship. Of course, it can just be nice for a while, no labels, no pressure, but eventually you’re going to have to face this conversation. And I know you, you’re not going to be okay with not knowing what you’re dealing with. Someday, she’s going to invite you to spend the night and if you don’t know what you are to her, you’ll freak out and ruin the whole thing with overthinking.”  

“Good point,” Robin said and pondered. “I have to break it off with her.”  

“I did not say that at all,” Steve objected. “Why do you want to do that?”  

“Think about it,” Robin said and leaned on the counter next to Steve. “Whether we decide to be girlfriends or not, if she ever invites me to spend the night, I’m screwed. I can’t spend the night somewhere else. I’m already having too many panic attacks at home, what if I have one there?”  

“But you already had one at the cinema on your date, right?” Steve said. “Vickie didn’t freak out, and she didn’t ask too many questions, so what’s your point?”  

“She will ask me at some point,” Robin said. “She will want to know why I’m like this, especially if we are dating, she’ll want to know. And I’m a terrible liar, I’ve already lied to her a couple of times about everything in our past, and I can’t continue lying in a relationship, right? That’s like the one thing everyone says not to do. And I don’t want her being freaked out by my constant panic, I don’t want her to feel like she has to take care of me like I’m some helpless idiot. It’s doomed, I’m doomed, everything’s doomed to fail.”  

“Birdie, you’re spiraling again.” Steve put his hands on her shoulders and firmly looked into her eyes, forcing her to focus on him. “Let’s rethink this step by step, okay?”  

Robin only nodded; her face felt uncomfortably warm.  

“You don’t want to lie to her, that’s understandable,” Steve said. “You don’t have to lie to her. You could tell her the truth, or just tell her that it’s a part of your past that you are not comfortable sharing, and she’ll have to accept that. If she does, then she’s a keeper, and if she doesn’t, then you deserve better.” He handed her the bucket of popcorn to hold onto and snack from, and she gratefully did. “Vickie seems like a great girl. I think she’ll be okay with the fact that you can’t share everything with her. You don’t have to talk about your trauma with anyone if you don’t want to.”  

“Okay,” Robin mumbled with a mouth full of popcorn.  

“Next, your panic attacks,” Steve said. “True, you’ve had quite a few and I don’t doubt that there will be more in the future.”  

“Reassuring.”  

“But,” he continued, “I also don’t doubt that Vickie will help you through them, whether you share the reason behind them or not. You can be upfront with her and tell her that this is just a part of who you are and you’re learning to deal with it. You were right when you told me that I won’t always be there to take care of you. Sometimes, you have to let someone else help you, and sometimes you have to take care of yourself. I’m convinced that you are capable of it with some practice.”  

“Right,” Robin said. “I’m just going to practice having panic attacks after our shift today.”  

“You know what I mean. You’re stronger than you think. It’s about time you start believing in yourself again. Whatever happened to the cocky, confident Robin Buckley I met in that ice cream shop?”  

“She died the moment the rest of me didn’t.”  

“She didn’t die, she’s just unconscious,” Steve said decidedly. “She’ll wake up again.”  

“Do you think Vickie and I have a chance if I never tell her what really went down?” Robin asked, steering the conversation into a different direction. She wasn’t sure if she could stand not being one hundred percent open with Vickie. She wanted to share every part of her life, of herself, even, but it was impossible to do so.  

“Absolutely,” Steve said. “I mean, logically, you have to. Even if Vickie and you don’t work out, at some point in the future you’re gonna want to date someone again, and the chances of that being someone within the group of people who were involved with the Upside Down is pretty damn slim.”  

“Hm,” Robin said. “Good point.” She thought about it for a moment. “You need more girls in your group,” she decided.  

“You could date Nancy,” Steve suggested with a half-smile, and Robin snickered.  

“Yeah, right. You can’t even get her to date you, I’d have no chance.”  

“It’d be kind of weird, anyway. She’s my ex. Don’t date Nance.”  

Robin smiled wider now. “Don’t worry. Wasn’t planning to.”  

“Have you heard from her since game night?” Steve asked, and Robin shook her head.  

“It’s only been like, one day.”  

“Yeah, but she seemed upset,” Steve said. “Things aren’t great between her and Jonathan, and I’m worried she might feel left out.”  

“Left out?”  

“Well, she still seems to assume that you and I are an item which seems to bother her for some reason, and if she broke up with Jonathan, then she must feel pretty alone right now.”  

“You should call her later,” Robin said. “Check up on her.”  

“Yeah,” Steve said. “I will. Hey, did you seriously eat the whole bucket of popcorn?”  

“Yup.” Robin handed the bucket back to him. “Excuse me while I spend some time in the bathroom. That was way too much popcorn.”  

Lucas smoothened out the crinkled fabric of his shirt with his right hand. His left hand was occupied, holding at least a dozen roses, tied neatly together with a broad, white ribbon. It felt weird standing in front of the Byers’ house like this. Normally he’d have gone to Max’s place, at least there he could be sure that nobody else would open the door for him.  

The doorbell rang with a loud sound, and Lucas prayed inwardly that Max would appear in front of him any second now.   

She didn’t.  

Will opened the door, and nearly burst into laughter when he saw Lucas.  

“Shut up,” Lucas said. “Is Max there?”  

Will made an amused sound and nodded. “I’ll get her,” he said, and with another glance at Lucas added: “You look dumb.”  

“I look in love ,” Lucas corrected him.  

“Sure.” Will turned away and disappeared around the corner.  

After some distant chatter, he finally helped Max get to the front door and backed away. “I’ll leave you to it,” he said.  

Lucas couldn’t wipe the smile off his face. “Um, I brought you roses,” he said and held out the bouquet. “They’re red.”  

“Thanks.” Max took the flowers from him, but she didn’t touch or smell the petals, she just kept staring at Lucas.  

“I was wondering,” he started and shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other, “about what your answer was to what I asked you. About us.”  

“So you got me flowers?”  

“Well,” Lucas said, his voice seemed stuck in his throat for a moment. “They’re a nice extra thing.”  

“They are nice,” Max said.  

“So?” He felt hopeful, and his mind kept repeating the same sentence over and over again. Please say Yes .  

Max sighed. The same kind of sigh that comes before ‘ Listen, we need to talk .’ She stayed quiet for a moment. Then, she said, “Listen.”  

“It’s fine, I get it.” He was glad she couldn’t see him because he was sure that any moment now, he’d start crying, and he didn’t like crying.  

“My life’s kind of a mess right now,” she said and offered him the roses back. Hesitant, he took them. “I’m just trying to figure things out now,” she continued. “I do love you, a lot. That’s not what this is. But I don’t have the capacity in my life right now. I can barely handle my own mental state, I couldn’t possibly expect you to handle it as well.”  

“But I want to,” Lucas objected. “I don’t mind at all.”  

“I don’t want you to,” Max said. “And I can’t handle anyone else’s shit right now either. It wouldn’t be fair to either of us.”  

“I don’t want to lose you,” Lucas said, and this time he was sure that Max could hear he was close to crying from the crack in his voice.  

“You’re not losing me. I’m still your friend.” Max showed a feeble smile. “I’m still here.”  

Lucas exhaled deeply, it felt like his lungs were running out of oxygen. His hand wiped over his eyes. “Yeah,” he said. “Okay.”  

“I’m sorry,” Max said.  

Lucas wanted to say something like It’s okay or Don’t worry about it , but he couldn’t bring himself to. After a brief, awkward silence, he decided to say none of that. “Bye, Max,” he said instead.  

“Bye,” he heard her say as he was leaving. He looked back once and she was still there, but when he looked again, she had gone back inside, and the door was closed.  

Chapter Text

The doorbell to the Wheeler’s house was a familiar sound.   

Steve had rung it countless times before, and way before that he always used to climb through Nancy’s window to get to her. It felt a little odd to be back here again to see Nancy one-on-one. She hadn’t picked up when he called her, so he figured it’d be best if he just came over.  

Things were different now, Hawkins in general, but also between him and Nancy. Looking back, he realized that his poor flirting attempts with her during the end of the world had been due to the assumption that they’d all be dead soon. It had been nothing more than a last attempt to let the world feel normal again.  

The only thing that was still the same was the inwardly hoping that her parents weren’t the ones to answer the door. They had never really liked him for their daughter, no matter how hard he had tried to change their minds about him.  

Luckily, it wasn’t either of them who opened the door. It was Nancy, and she looked like Steve had just interrupted a crying session. Her nose and eyes were red, and she wiped over her eyes with the back of her hand.  

“Hi,” she said and attempted a smile. “What are you doing here?”  

“Coming to check on you,” Steve said. “Clearly, that was a good choice. What’s going on?”  

Nancy opened the door wider to invite him in, and once it was closed again, she sank down on the couch. “Jonathan and I broke up.” She reached for tissues on the coffee table and blew her nose. “After game night.”  

“Nance,” Steve said and sat down next to her, his hand coming to rest on her back. “I’m sorry, that’s shit.”  

“Yeah. It is.” She glanced at her hands and took a deep breath as if trying to push down the rest of her tears.  “It was probably better this way, but it still really hurts.”  

“Do you want to talk about it?” Steve offered.  

Nancy shrugged with her head hung low. “Not really.”  

“How about distraction, then? I’m seriously great at picking the perfect movie for any mood. Always cheers Robin up, it might help you too.” Steve was ready to start rummaging through the Wheeler’s movie supply, but Nancy held him back by his wrist.  

“You and Robin,” she said. “You’re really not dating?”  

“We really aren’t,” Steve confirmed. “We’ve been saying that.”  

“You can’t really blame us for assuming,” Nancy said with a weak smile. “You’re always together. And now, you even live together, and you talk about nobody but each other.”  

“In a very platonic way.”  

“Sure.” Nancy’s face started to regain her natural skin color instead of the red from crying too much. “Can I ask you something?”  

“Absolutely.” Steve leaned on the backrest of the couch and looked at her expectantly.   

“Did you ever like her in a more than platonic way?”  

Steve paused for a moment. “Yeah,” he said. It was fine to tell Nancy about that, surely. That was all in the past, and it didn’t mean he’d have to out Robin to her. “Briefly, when I first met her. But that’s all in the past.”  

“How do you know it won’t come up again?”  

“Robin and I are way too great as friends to ruin that with anything else. She told me she wasn’t interested in me that way, and it was like, poof , there go my feelings for her. Pretty immediately.”  

“Just like that?”  

“Just like that. I mean, I get why I liked her, she’s pretty awesome. But the moment I knew that nothing was ever going to happen between us, I was done with that.”  

“Hm,” Nancy hummed.   

“Why do you ask?”  

“This might sound insane.”  

“I’m used to that. Shoot.”  

“When I thought you and Robin were dating, when she came out of your room the other day, I... felt jealous. And I thought, maybe I’m unhappy with the way mine and Jonathan’s relationship was going because I still had unresolved feelings for you.”  

Steve raised his eyebrows. “You have feelings for me?”  

“I thought maybe I did,” Nancy said. “You know, we never really... talked , after our breakup. I just kind of moved on, and clearly you did too if you fell for Robin. And then you kept talking to me like you wanted us back, and... I don’t know, I got confused, it’s all very messy right now.”  

Only a few weeks ago, Steve had been sure that Nancy was his future. That he wanted her back no matter what, but now that she was talking to him like this, he felt nothing. Platonic affection, sure, but nothing more than that. “I get that,” he said. “We did break up kind of suddenly.”  

“I’m sorry about that,” Nancy muttered. “That’s on me.”  

“Do you still think you might have feelings for me now?” Steve asked.   

Nancy lifted her head, and her eyes met his. “Maybe,” she whispered. “I’m not sure.”  

“Do you want to talk about that?”  

“No,” Nancy said. “I think I might want to kiss you.”  

“Do you want to kiss me, or do you want to figure out how you feel about me?”  

“I don’t know,” she replied. “Both? Mostly the latter.”  

Steve exhaled slowly, and for a moment his mind sprung to Eddie and his confession in the car. “How about this,” Steve said. “You can kiss me, and I’ll put in some effort to make it nice, and then after that you can figure out how you feel. Maybe it’ll help, maybe it won’t, but either way, one kiss is all I can do. And whatever happens, I need you to know that I don’t want to get back together with you, as much as I love you, I’ve moved on and that won’t change.”  

“Okay,” Nancy said quietly.   

For a moment, there was an awkward silence between them while Steve waited for Nancy to make the first move. Then, she placed her hand on his neck and closed the distance between them.  

Steve had kissed Nancy many times. There was nothing unfamiliar about it, and he had always enjoyed it. And even now, it was some sort of comforting feeling, of being taken back to the past. But beyond that, Steve felt nothing when Nancy’s lips parted from his again.  

“So?” he asked.  

Nancy shook her head. “Nothing.”  

“Me either.”  

“So, what now?”  

“The movie offer still stands,” Steve said. “Anything to keep your mind off things.”  

“One more thing,” Nancy said. “I know I felt jealous when I saw you with Robin. So, if I don’t have any feelings for you, then what is it?”  

Steve shrugged. “I can’t tell you that. Maybe you’re just feeling left out.”  

“Yeah, maybe,” Nancy mumbled. Then, her face brightened up and she attempted a cheerful smile, but it seemed forced. “Movie, then?”  

“Whatever you wanna watch, it’s your pick.”  

“I’m home!” Steve yelled as the door fell shut behind him. “You won’t believe this,” he said and walked into the living room, “I kissed Nancy - “  

Eddie and Robin both stared at him. “You what?” Robin asked. Her hand was on Eddie’s back, he seemed to slouch more than usual.   

“I - “ Steve said and crossed his arms when he didn’t know what else to do with them. “It was not a romantic thing.”  

“You can kiss whoever you want to kiss,” Eddie said decidedly. “So, Nancy’s single again, huh?”  

Steve swallowed. “Yeah.”  

“That’s great,” Eddie said. “For you. Not for her or Jonathan, I’m assuming. But for you. Real great. Excuse me.” He got off the couch and brushed past Steve, locking the bathroom door behind him.  

“What the hell,” Robin said. “Why did you kiss Nancy?”  

“She asked me to,” he replied. “It was not a romantic thing. Neither of us felt anything, we both decided that we don’t want to get back together and that was it.”  He slumped down on the couch. “Why’s he here, anyway?”  

“Because he’s my friend,” Robin said.  

“Come on, Birdie. Why is he here?”  

Robin sighed and crossed her legs, leaning halfway on the backrest to face him. “Because he needed a friend to talk about his unreciprocated crush.”  

“Did he phrase it that way?”  

“Of course not. But he can be more emotional than he lets you believe, and even for him, this sucks. I’m not saying that you should reciprocate those feelings,” she added when Steve wanted to say something in his defense. “Just watch what you say around him, alright? This probably feels to him the same it felt to you when Nancy started dating Jonathan and you were still pathetically into her.”  

“Pretty shit,” Steve said.  

“Yeah,” Robin said. “Pretty shit.”  

“I’m sorry,” Steve apologized. “I didn’t know he was here, otherwise I wouldn’t have said that at all.”  

“I don’t need your apology,” Robin said. “And I doubt he’ll want to hear it at all considering his habit to extreme stubbornness.”  

“Got it,” Steve said. “No talking about my dating life in front of Eddie.”  

“Talk about anything you want,” Eddie said, suddenly appearing behind him.  

“Christ, Eddie,” Steve complained. “Could you announce yourself when you’re around?”  

“It’s seriously fine,” Eddie said and let himself fall back on the couch with them. “I’ve got bigger problems than Steve Harrington not being into guys. You’re not that important in my life, you know, Stevie?”  

“Yeah, right,” Steve huffed. “Make up your mind.”  

“Unbelievable,” Robin scoffed. “Absolutely unbelievable. Both of you.” She got up from the couch and spun around to face them with what seemed like an attempt at a stern face. “You,” she said and pointed at Eddie, “need to sort out your feelings for Steve, because all you’re doing is confusing yourself and him. And that’s not fair to him, it’s not his fault he doesn’t like you that way.” She turned to Steve and pointed at him. “And you have to stop poking around for approval. For some reason he’s into you, he confessed that, and you keep talking to and about him like you need him to confess it again, just so you can feel better about yourself. I get that you don’t like being single, but just because Nancy doesn’t wanna date you, doesn’t mean that you need to seek for Eddie’s approval!”  

Eddie slowly leaned in to Steve. “Someone’s cranky,” he muttered, and Steve suppressed a grin.  

“Damn right I am,” Robin said. “I’m in the middle between you two and it’s really annoying. So, you have two options. You can either get it together and stop acting like children, or you can get together and make out or whatever.”  

Eddie let out a deep sigh and turned to Steve, holding out his hand. “First option?”  

Steve looked at Eddie, then at his hand. “First option,” he said and shook Eddie’s hand.  

Robin scrunched her nose. “I was kind of hoping for the second one,” she said with a slight grin. “But you’re right, you’re right. Now you can stop acting like children.”  

Chapter Text

El stared at her wrist. She had been staring at it for a while now, sitting cross-legged on her mattress and squinting in the hopes of making her tattoo disappear through blurred vision and eyelashes. It didn’t work.

“What do you think?” she asked and held up her arm.

“I don’t know,” Will said. “It’s kind of a part of you, isn’t it? It tells a story.”

El lowered her arm and looked at the number in her skin again. “Yeah. A terrible one.”

Will was leaning against the wall behind El’s bed and put the book down he was reading. “Do you want to get rid of it?”

“Eddie offered to cover it for free,” El said. “He has a tattoo gun.”

“You wanna get a tattoo from Eddie?” Will raised his eyebrows. “He’s a good guy but he doesn’t really seem like the most… hygienic type.”

“He actually is,” El said. “He smells weirdly good. And he said he has tattooed other people before.”

“Do you think mom would let you?”

El shrugged. “Why not? I already have this one. There is no harm in it. I just can’t decide on what to get.”

Will’s face brightened up for a moment before practically jumping out of bed. “Wait here,” he said and hurried out the door. It didn’t take him long to return with a broad selection of felt tip pens in every color El could think of. He sat back down and put her wrist over his knee, uncapping a black pen. “Let’s just try some things,” he suggested. “That way, you’ll know what it looks like before getting it permanently.”

“Okay,” El said and adjusted her position to sit more comfortably. “Surprise me.”

The marker felt funny on her skin. With soft and elegant lines, Will began drawing over her tattoo, switching to yellow, orange and red colors when he finished the outline with the black pen. El tried her best to sit still. She could barely see what it was that Will was drawing with his head bent over her arm.

“There,” he said after a while and leaned back. “It’s pretty standard.”

El looked at her wrist from all angles. It was covered with a bunch of small flowers, colored in a warm gradient of yellow to red. The numbers had completely disappeared under the colors. “It’s nice,” El said. “I like it.”

“I can draw something else, too,” Will offered. “Whatever you want.”

“I think I’ll keep this for a while.” She ran her fingers over the color on her skin, and a smile spread across her face. “I’ll get it covered,” she decided. “I don’t know with what yet, but it’s nice to not see it.”

“I think it’ll get easier over time,” Will said. “The memory, I mean. It gets easier to deal with.”

“Maybe we just get more resilient.” El leaned her back against the wall adjacent to the bed. “Maybe, the memories stay bad.”

“Maybe,” Will said. “I still feel out of control sometimes. At least I always have my friends to help me through it.”

“Have you talked to Mike?” El realized she hadn’t heard from Mike herself since their breakup. They did see each other during the game night but barely talked at all. Mike seemed to not only avoid her, but Will too.

Will shook his head. “I don’t want to talk to him.”

“Why not? He hasn’t actually done anything wrong.”

Will huffed and crossed his arms. “I guess. But he’s so oblivious. I hate pretending around him.”

“That’s so dumb.”

“You’ve been spending too much time with Max.”

“It is dumb,” El said again. “I get that it’s hard and it probably hurts a lot. But to end your friendship because he can’t read your mind? That’s dumb.”

“You knew about it, why can’t he realize on his own?”

“Because unlike him, I can actually look into your mind. Which I didn’t do,” she added when Will made a defensive face. “But I do have some practice. You can’t stop being friends just because he doesn’t.”

“I don’t want to stop being friends with him,” Will muttered and glanced at his hands. “But if he finds out, he’ll think differently of me. He’ll end our friendship for good and he’ll tell everyone about it and my life will be ruined.” Will let himself fall back into the mattress and covered his face with a pillow. “I can never tell him.”

“Mike wouldn’t do that,” El said. “I know he can be oblivious, but he’s not a bad person. He would never treat you like that.”

“Maybe,” Will said and removed the pillow from his face. “Maybe not. I can’t risk it, and I will never tell him. The only way I would ever do that is if he came to me first and suddenly confesses his feelings for me. Which will never happen.”

“That’s okay,” El said, attempting to imitate the same gentleness in her voice that Joyce showed her whenever she was feeling conflicted. “You don’t have to tell him. But you have to go back to being friends. That’s how the world works. It’s not right if you’re not friends.”

Will shook his head again and closed his eyes. “No,” he said, “it only makes things worse for both of us. This is for the best.”

“Dumb,” El said. “Really, really dumb.”

“You don’t know what it’s like,” Will argued. “I’ve been dealing with this for the past three or four years. It doesn’t get better. It only hurts more over time.”

El sighed and fell back on the mattress next to Will. She turned her head to look at him and folded her hands over her stomach. “At least don’t let it end like this,” she said. “If you want to end it, don’t leave him all confused and without closure. Tell him at least half the truth, you’re creative, you will come up with something. Don’t part in a fight.”

“Okay, fine.” Will met her eyes. “I’ll try. No promises.”

Not talking to Will was the hardest thing Mike had ever done. He had thought they were fine when they talked it out in California, when they worked as a team to help El fight Vecna.

It was the last day before the delayed summer break, and Mike had given up focusing about an hour ago. It was way too warm to be in school, anyways. Whoever thought that delaying summer break after Hawkins had been healed again instead of just cancelling the rest of the school year was an idiot, Mike decided. And now, he’d have two months to overthink his life and all the mistakes he had made that led up to this point.

What happened to Best Friends Forever? What happened to crazy together? Maybe it was a part of growing up, just something that everyone had to deal with. Thinking about it, Mike realized that he didn’t know a single adult who was still friends with their best friend from kindergarten, or even school. Maybe this was the breaking point. This was the point in time when childhood ended, and adulthood began.

Adulthood sucked.

Having to spend the summer without Will was already a bad enough glimpse into his future, what was he going to do when school started again, and Will would come back to class? Would he just ignore him? Mike hated that his supposed best friend could just drop him like that, and he hated that he couldn’t even give him an actual reason for it.

Underneath all the anger, Mike felt awful. The world didn’t seem to spin right without Will, and even though he had no idea what it was that he had done wrong, and he hated to apologize, he felt the growing urge to run back to Will and beg him to explain what went wrong between them. Even if that meant apologizing for something he didn’t do.

“What are you gonna do?” Lucas asked as they pushed their bikes through the streets.

“I don’t know,” Mike muttered, his mood worsening with every minute.

“You gotta talk to him,” Dustin stated.  “You can’t let this ruin the party.”

“I am ruining the party? If anything, he is. I’m not the one who decided to just dump him.” Mike gripped the handles of his bike tighter. “Besides, I’m the only one he isn’t talking to.”

“When you two don’t talk, it makes things awkward for all of us,” Lucas said. “So, are you going to fix things?”

“I didn’t even do anything wrong,” Mike grumbled and earned himself an annoyed sigh from Dustin.

“Clearly, something went wrong between you,” he said. “Whatever it is, you need to figure it out and fix it.”

“Yeah,” Lucas agreed, “we didn’t just go through all this bullshit just for you to stop talking. We went through hell and back, you’re not giving up on that.”

“Wasn’t planning to.” Mike swung his leg over the bike saddle when they arrived at the crossroad. “See you.”

“Talk to him!” Dustin shouted after him as he rode down the street.

Mike’s mind didn’t stop spiraling the whole way to his house. Reliving the moments that led him and Will to their fight, desperately trying to piece together how it could escalate like that. He scrambled to find reasons that explained why Will was so mad at him, but he couldn’t find any. He was so distracted that he nearly barreled into Nancy’s car.

“Watch it, idiot!” Nancy shrieked as she got out of the car, seemingly having just parked, and Mike wiped the hair out of his face.

“Watch where you park,” he complained and pushed his bike over the lawn. “Not my fault you park where I ride my bike.”

“If you scratch my car, you will pay for the repair.” Nancy slammed the car door and pulled her keys out of her pocket with a jingle. “Why are you so distracted, anyway? You got all of summer break to hang out with your friends, you should be happy.” She opened the front door but didn’t hold it open for Mike. “My last exam is in two weeks. I can’t even think about summer.”

“Shut up,” Mike complained. “You love studying. Isn’t this like your dream summer? Hanging out with your books?”

“You’re the worst, and I hate you.”

“Likewise.”

Nancy started stomping up the stairs, but she stopped halfway, gripped the banister and turned around. “Why are you so distracted?” she asked again. “Did something happen?”

“None of your business.” Mike hurried up the stairs past her, his backpack slung over one shoulder. He really didn’t feel like talking about Will again, it would only make things worse.

“Mike,” Nancy said and followed him. “Stop it. Please. I’m sorry I yelled at you.” She followed him into his room and closed the door behind her, while he slumped down on his bed, the backpack carelessly tossed into a corner.

“Since when do you apologize?” Mike grumbled.

“You’re still my brother,” Nancy said and sat down on the edge of the bed. “And we’ve fought off supernatural monsters together. So, somehow, that still makes me care about you. I wish it didn’t, but I can’t turn it off.”

“I really don’t want to talk about it again.”

“Okay.” Nancy sighed. “I’m assuming it’s something about Will since you two haven’t hung out, let alone talked in weeks, so, if you need to vent, you know where to find me.”

“Just ask your boyfriend,” Mike said. “Will has probably told Jonathan all about it already, he probably knows more than I do.”

“We broke up,” Nancy said, prompting Mike to prop himself up on his elbows.

“You broke up? When?”

“Recently. I don’t know.” Nancy glanced at her hands. “But I won’t bother you with my problems, I know you don’t care about that.”

“I do,” Mike said. “I wanna care about them as little as you wanna care about mine, but I guess we are still family.”

“I guess we are.” Nancy stood up from the bed to leave the room. Before she turned the door handle, she looked at him another time. “You can come to me with anything.”

“Yeah,” Mike said. “Okay.”

When Nancy left the room, he let himself fall back on the mattress again and stared at the ceiling. It felt stupid to be upset over things like breakups or friendship fallouts when only a couple months ago, the world had briefly ended, and he had been scared to death by monsters and people around him dying all the time.

Maybe that was another thing that adulthood brought with it. Returning to normality.

Chapter Text

Eddie opened the door to his trailer and leaned against the doorframe with one arm. “Welcome to your tattoo appointment,” he said. “Ready to get hurt?” 

“I brought Max.” El pointed at her best friend behind her. “For support.” 

“Ah.” Eddie thought for a moment. “Well, I already set up inside, but if you want, we can do it in her trailer instead so she can join you.” 

“I wasn’t expecting to join anyone,” Max said. “Unless you wanna carry me into the trailer.” 

“Yours got a ramp,” Eddie noted. “Will be easier to get you in there than into my home.” 

“Mine got a what?” 

“I’ll collect my things and meet you over there,” Eddie said, ignoring Max, and closed the door again. 

“El?”  

“We built you a ramp,” she said, attempting to be nonchalant. She had no idea if Max would be happy about it or annoyed. These days, any reaction could be realistic for her. “Before we knew you’d move in with me.” 

“That is – wow.” Max turned her chair, having gotten practice even with one arm to operate the wheelchair. “You did not have to do that.” 

“I know.” El began pushing her over the grass to her trailer. “We wanted to. To make things at least a little easier.” 

Max stayed quiet, but El noticed that she started fidgeting with her hands as she was being wheeled over to the trailer and up the ramp.  

“One day,” El said, “this will be very useful when you move back in again. When your mom comes back.” 

“She’s not gonna.” Max wrinkled her nose when they entered the trailer. “You haven’t let any air in here since the fight, have you?” 

El shook her head, knowing that her best friend would know her answer even if she didn’t speak it. She parked the wheelchair next to the table. “I’ll help clean up,” she said and sat down next to her best friend. 

Max turned her head toward her, and El saw her cheeks reddening. “I need your help getting into the shower,” she muttered and turned away again. “I can clean myself even with one working arm, but your shower has a step, and I can’t—“ She pushed the hair out of her face and cleared her throat. “I’m not on that level with Joyce, it’s just awkward, so I need you to help me.” 

El reached for Max’s hand, holding it for a moment before she pulled away again and averted her eyes. “Okay,” she whispered. “I’m glad you asked.” 

The door sprung open as Eddie barged in, placing his tattoo kit on the table in front of them. “Alright, who’s ready to get poked?” He grinned at both of them as he pulled gloves over his hands. “You fancy one too, Red?” 

“Uh, no thanks.” Max chuckled. “Keep the needle for yourself and El.” 

“You sure? I could see you with a skull on your arm or something,” he joked. 

He sprayed something cold on El’s wrist and wiped over it. “Settled on what you want?” 

“Yes,” El said. “I want a butterfly.” 

“Ooh, a butterfly, that’s cute,” Max said. “Suits you.” 

“Great choice, Wonder Woman.” Eddie poured black ink into a small cup. He glanced at her as she grabbed Max’s wrist for support, her left arm laid out on the table. “If you’re not down for this, you don’t need to do this,” he said. “We can reschedule or not do it at all.” 

El swallowed. “No.” She had to do this. She had to get rid of the constant reminder of where her name came from, of where she was brought up.  

“One butterfly, coming up,” Eddie said and turned the machine on, a buzzing sound filling the room. 

“You’re gonna freehand this thing?” Max asked. “Don’t you need like a stencil or whatever?” 

“I can freehand it,” he offered. “Would you rather have a stencil?” 

“Um,” El hesitated. “I don’t—I don’t know.” She stared at her wrist for a moment. “Stencil. Yes.” 

The buzzing sound stopped. “Got a felt tip somewhere, Red?”  

Max nodded in the vague direction of her former bedroom. “In the desk drawer.” 

A few minutes later, Eddie had drawn on the butterfly on El’s wrist. “This to your liking?” he asked, and El inspected her wrist closely. 

“Yeah,” she said. “I like it.” 

“Attempt two, then.” The buzzing began again. El closed her eyes before the needle could touch her skin, the distinct sound reminding her of the electronic razor that was used to shave her head with. She felt Max squeezing her hand and inhaled a sharp breath between her teeth when the needle grazed her skin. Eddie held her wrist in place, bent over to keep a good look on the needle. 

“I don’t remember it hurting this much,” El admitted. She didn’t really remember her first tattoo at all, only the pain it carried after already having healed. 

“It’s a tough spot, kid.” Eddie wiped over her skin and continued dragging the needle across the wrist. “It’ll only be like…an hour or so.” 

“A whole hour?” 

“Not so bad,” Max said and shrugged lightly. “I heard some can take eight hours or more.” 

“My longest took five,” Eddie said. “Shit’s expensive, too. You’re lucky you’re getting this for free.” He wiped over the skin again. “You’re doing great, though. Better than I did with my first.” 

“Can’t imagine you as pain sensitive,” Max said. “You don’t seem like the type for it.” 

“Believe me, I am.” Eddie laughed shortly. “I’m only telling you this because we all share trauma. My first tattoo, I almost cried. Picked a bad spot too, right on my ribs, that’s not where you should get a tattoo for your first. But I held out, and it was worth it, ‘cause it looks sick as hell.” 

“You can do this,” Max encouraged her best friend. “It’ll be over really quickly.” 

Though it felt like an eternity, the hour and then some passed quicker than El expected. Between words of encouragement from Max and stories from Eddie about his own tattoos, time flew by and soon enough, El ran her fingers over the thin plastic covering her wrist. Eddie had called it ‘second skin’, which El though sounded a little strange. 

“Leave it on for a couple days,” he said and handed her a small tube. “Once it’s off, rinse with water, apply this a few times each day, and don’t scratch it. Seriously. It will itch, you can’t scratch.” 

“Got it.” El slipped the crème into the front pocket of her jeans. “I’m glad that’s over. I’ll never get another tattoo.” 

“Yeah, that’s what I said after my first one too.” Eddie grinned. “They always say that. Watch out, in a few years you’ll be covered head to toe.”

Nancy’s last exam was fast approaching. With only a week to spare, she decided to study in the park with green grapes as a study-snack. Being in nature had always helped her focus on the material, and the pressure of the quickly passing days only made her more desperate to find the perfect study environment to cram the last topics into her head. 

She was grateful for the windstill day, allowing her to spread her papers out on the picnic table and look at everything at the same time. She had been studying for months, and she knew that she’d be able to recite it all from memory, but the last few days before any exam always made her feel like she was missing something and if she didn’t discover what it was, she’d fail and have to repeat the year.  

Nancy pulled her hair up in a bun to get rid of the distracting feeling of strands in her face and tuned out her surroundings. She was surprisingly good at ignoring everything going on around her when she wanted to study. The other people in the park who were walking their dog or exercising or playing with their kids didn’t bother her. Time always flew by when she was focused, and it was no different today.  

“Looks nice.” 

Nancy looked up from her notes and discovered Robin standing by the table. 

“Your hair, I mean. It looks nice like that.” She sat down next to Nancy and glanced over the paper sprawled across the wooden table. “Final exam stuff?” 

“Yeah.” Nancy exhaled deeply and rested her head on one hand. “Almost done. Yay, me.” 

“Lacking the anticipation there.” 

“It sucks,” Nancy said. “I used to study with Jonathan. Now we barely talk.” She reached across the table to gather her papers. “And I’m constantly distracted because I keep thinking about him.” 

“I get that.” Robin eyed one of the papers about the Krebs cycle. “Must be hard to focus on your exam like that.” 

“I can’t believe you just dropped out,” Nancy tried to divert the topic. “You could be graduating with me and have an actual high school education you can put on your résumés.” 

“Education is overrated.” Robin plucked one of the grapes from the stem. “I got a job. I’m not planning to make it big in the world of accounting or whatever, and I can’t afford college tuition anyway.” 

“Your parents don’t mind?” 

“Not at all.” She threw the grape in the air and caught it with her mouth, already plucking the next one. “They’re on board with my ideas. I’d rather go on road trips and work as little as possible.” 

“I’ve gotta finish college,” Nancy said. “It’s the one thing I always wanted to do.” 

“What are you majoring in?” 

“Journalism. I’m good at it.” 

“I can see that.” Robin crossed her arms on the table and stared into the distance. “I’m smart enough to go to college, you know. I may be a social mess but I know other things.” 

“Of course.” Nancy watched her, wondering where she was going with this. 

“I applied to some colleges,” Robin said. “Just to see if I could get in. Nothing like Emerson, of course, but good ones.” 

“And did you?” 

Robin shook her head. “My grades aren’t high enough for them to believe I’d graduate with a worthy GPA. But I know that I could do it. I could raise my grades, if I actually studied.” 

“Why don’t you?” 

“No point to it.” She shrugged. “I get distracted. My grades are good enough to pass, but I can’t keep my focus on anything long enough to do any better than that. But topics that I’m actually interested in? I know a ton. Couldn’t beat me in Trivial Pursuit.” 

Nancy chuckled lightly. That was exactly the type of person Robin seemed to be; soaking up tons of useless knowledge and excelling in topics no college would be interested in. “Which topics would that be?” 

“Movie trivia,” Robin said. “Learning languages, historic feminist pieces of literature and art, upcycling clothes.” She counted on her fingers. “And way more. I’m more of a free spirit than anything else. Maybe you could use some of that free-spiritedness too.” 

“Maybe I could.” Nancy bounced a pencil between her index and middle finger and smiled. “Make sure to invite me on your road trips. If I’m free, I’ll totally come.” 

“Oh, for sure. Nance and Birdie on the road.” 

“When did he start calling you that?” 

Robin shrugged again, a tilted grin on her lips. “I don’t know. He just started at some point, and I kind of like it.” 

“It does suit you,” Nancy remarked. 

“Well, I’ve got places to be,” Robin said and stood up from the picnic bench. “I’ll let you study. Good luck.” She lightly bumped her fist against Nancy’s shoulder. “You got this.” 

Chapter Text

Robin browsed the shelves of the store. Her fingers traced along the pricetags of the snack section, trying to pick out a good selection for the evening. She and Steve were planning to host a movie night since their game night didn’t go so well. Steve was in charge of picking out the movie, and Robin had offered to shop for snacks.

Chips were always a solid choice, she figured. Sour cream and onion, potato, barbecue… Robin grabbed a couple bags and dropped them in her basket. Her mind trailed off to whichever movies Steve might pick. She knew he wouldn’t pick any horror movies, but the kids—teens—didn’t watch children’s movies anymore and romance was not anyone’s favorite. Except maybe Nancy’s, but she wouldn’t be joining them.

“Hi there, stranger.” Vickie’s voice startled Robin, but the way she so casually leaned against the shelf and stared at Robin with a slight smile on her lips made her heart jump in different ways. “I haven’t seen you in days.”

“Oh,” Robin said and grabbed another bag of chips. “Yeah. Sorry. I’ve been all over the place.” It wasn’t a total lie. She had been overthinking and reconsidering going out with Vickie out of fear of having to consistently lie to her about her past.

“Do you want to go out tonight?” Vickie’s smile grew warmer, and she reached out slightly to graze Robin’s fingertips with hers. “I missed you.”

Robin glanced around the store. Nobody was nearby to witness their hands touching, and she dared to move a little closer and lock her pinky with Vickie’s. “I’m hanging out with the group today,” she said quietly. “Movie night. You could come.”

Vickie smiled wider, showing her beautiful white teeth. “Which movie?”

“I don’t know yet. Steve’s picking it out. It’s gonna be a full house, the kids are all coming.”

“Alright,” Vickie said. “If it’s okay with everyone—”

“Of course it is.” Robin reciprocated the smile.

Vickie threw a quick glance around, then leaned forward and pressed a short kiss on Robin’s lips. When she separated herself again, Robin stared at her. “Whoa,” she said, but it sounded different than when she said it after their first kiss.

Vickie’s smile faded slightly when Robin didn’t stop staring, almost frozen in place. “Are you okay?” she asked, worried.

“Um,” Robin said and glanced down at her basket full of snacks. “Yeah, uh, I gotta get going, though. We still have to, um, prepare some things for movie night.” She took a few steps back. “You should totally come by. I’ll see you there?”

Without waiting for an answer, Robin turned around and left Vickie alone in the snack aisle. Her heart was beating a thousand miles a minute and didn’t stop as she was paying.

Steve heard the door fall shut as he was laying out the movies he had picked for the evening. Back to the future, Ghostbusters, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. Safe bets, he figured. He couldn’t present the kids with any horror movie, even though he knew they’d watch it without any problem, Robin wouldn’t.

“Do you think three movies is enough to choose from?” he called into the hallway. When Robin didn’t respond, he peaked around the corner and saw her leaning against the door, staring at the opposite wall. “What’s wrong?”

She turned her head to look at him. “I ran into Vickie,” she said. The blank expression on her face didn’t match the feelings he knew she had for her.

“Where’s she been? Haven’t heard you gush about her in a while.” He went into the hallway and took the tote bag with the snacks from Robin’s shoulder.

“I’ve been avoiding her,” she admitted. “Because I’m scared like crap for things to get real.”

“At least you recognize that.”

“Ha, ha.” Robin followed him into the living room where he spread out the snacks on the table. “I told her to join us tonight because I felt bad.”

“Sit down.”

“What?”

“Sit down.” Steve pointed to the couch and waited for her to follow his request. When she did, he sat down next to her with one leg over the other and a stern look on his face. “You’re being ridiculous.”

“I am not –”

“You are. You like Vickie, and you have for ages. There might actually be a chance that this will work out for you, and you can’t scare her away before you even get to take that chance.” Steve reached behind him to grab one of the pillows on the couch and handed it to her. Robin immediately clutched it with her arms.  “I get that it’s scary, but you gotta give this a chance. Give her a chance.”

“She kissed me in the store,” Robin muttered.

“That’s a good thing, Birdie. She really likes you.”

“It’s a terrible thing!” Robin crossed her legs. “You wouldn’t get it because you’ve never dated someone like Vickie.”

“I’ve dated plenty of girls.”

“Yes. Girls.” Robin loosened her grip on the pillow. “You’re a dude. I’m not. It’s different for me.”

“Okay.” Steve put one hand on her back. “I get it, and you’re right, I will never be able to understand it like you do. But I do understand that this is your shot. Take it. ‘Cause in,” he checked his watch, “two hours they’ll all be here, including her if she takes you up on your offer. Make sure she knows how you feel too.”

“I don’t know what I feel,” Robin whined and pressed the pillow against her head. “What if things get too intense and I mess it up? What if I don’t actually like her like that? What if she realizes that I am an anxious, PTSD filled mess?” Her voice was muffled by the pillow. Steve gently nudged it downward and held onto her face, turning her head to look at him.

“You know what you feel. You like her. She likes you. You’re just overthinking it.” He squished her cheeks together as she stared at him with big eyes. “Talk it out. Tonight. If it goes well, I’ll make sure that nobody goes into your room while you’re in there.”

Robin chuckled lightly.

“And if it goes badly,” Steve continued, “I will be right there with you. You can vent to me all night, I don’t care, just get it all out. Okay?”

“Okay,” Robin mumbled and pushed his hands away. “I’ll try.”

Two hours passed by quickly, and just as Steve started the first movie with everyone lazing on the couch or snacking on Robin’s carefully selected snacks, the doorbell rang again.

“I’ll get it,” Robin offered.

Mike and Will were sitting on opposite ends of the sofa with El and Max between them. The two girls were leaning their heads together while Lucas kept glancing at Max. Dustin was sitting on the floor, leaning against the couch and focused on solving a Rubik’s cube while Eddie poured soda into everyone’s glasses. Nancy, Robin figured, was busy studying at home, and Jonathan hadn’t showed up in case Nancy ended up coming.

The only one still missing was Vickie, and Robin was torn between wanting her to show up and wanting her to stay away. Her hand trembled as she reached for the handle, but Vickie’s bright face behind the door made up for her increased heart rate.

“Sorry I’m late,” she apologized and followed Robin’s gesture to come inside. “Shoes on or off?”

“Doesn’t really matter.” Robin closed the door behind her and Vickie kicked her shoes off.

“I’m used to no shoes inside,” she said with a smile. “Why carry all the dirt inside, you know?”

“Yeah. Yeah.” Robin scratched the back of her neck. “Um, the others are in the living room. Make yourself at home.”  Robin exhaled through her teeth when Vickie headed toward the living room and greeted everyone. Even though they were both equally overwhelmed with social etiquette, Robin felt jealous of Vickie’s ability to blend into groups. She had never been able to do the same thing. Some days, she still felt unable to be a proper part of the group even though she loved every single member of their ‘party’, as the kids liked to call it. Robin was aware that nobody but her overthought her socially awkward behaviors, but each time it still felt like a million eyes on her.

Vickie was already sitting on the couch when Robin entered, and she patted on the empty spot next to her, inviting Robin to join her. Steve glanced at her briefly with an approving nod.

Robin awkwardly sat down, careful not to sit too close to Vickie, and focused her eyes on the screen. She tried hard to keep her heart rate at an even pace, but she couldn’t stop her foot from bouncing up and down.

“Are you okay?” Vickie whispered, leaning in closer. She moved her hand to Robin’s back just like she had at the cinema that day, and gently moved it up and down.

“I’m fine.” Robin slightly moved away from her and crossed her arms across her stomach, forcing her leg to stop moving as best as she could.

Vickie followed her movement, moving closer again and reaching out to hold her hand. “Robin,” she whispered, “please tell me what’s wrong.”

Even though nobody was paying attention to them, Robin once again felt like all eyes were on her. Blood rushed to her face. “I need a minute.” She heard the words come out of her mouth before she realized she wanted to say them. The next thing she realized was her bedroom door shutting behind her as she stared into the mirror on the wall.

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a second. “Not so bad,” she whispered to herself. “Doing fine.”

The door creaked open behind her. In the mirror, she recognized Vickie slowly closing it, keeping her distance to Robin. “You clearly don’t want me to touch you,” she began with one of the kindest voices Robin had ever heard. “It’s okay. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable; I just wish you’d tell me why you don’t want me close to you.”

Robin thought back to Steve’s words from earlier and turned around to meet Vickie’s eyes. “I need to tell you something about me.” She slowly sat down on her bed and invited Vickie to join her with a hand gesture, but the other girl stood firmly by the door. Uncertainty spread across her face as she watched Robin trying to piece together the right words.

“I’m a total mess,” Robin began slowly. “I’m anxious all the time. I have panic attacks almost every night, and it hasn’t been getting better. Sometimes, I think about hurting myself. I’ll stare into the mirror and wonder what the hell is wrong with me because I want to rip the skin off my face just because a texture felt weird.” She paused for a second and took a breath in. “I’m scared, constantly. I can’t watch horror anymore, I can’t sleep through most nights, and I have a really weirdly close friendship to Steve. And I can’t tell you why any of that is, all I can say is that sometimes I feel like I shouldn’t have survived all that we’ve been through, and I feel like I shouldn’t have it this bad because the others were involved way longer than I have.” She glanced at Vickie, who was watching her with kind blue eyes. “The one thing I can tell you is that I think it’s great you’re so open about your sexuality. I love that, I really do, but I am not like that. I’m only out to Steve and Eddie, and I’m not ready to tell anybody else, maybe ever, and I will certainly not hold your hand if there is anyone around or even kiss you in public. I like you, I do, so much, but I can’t be this open, confident person you want me to be.” She locked eyes with Vickie. “That’s all I wanted to say. That’s what you’re signing up for if you date me. Inexplicable trauma, anxiety and locked doors. That’s all I can give you.”

Vickie sat down next to her and exhaled a long, slow breath. “I don’t want you to be an open and confident person,” she said. “If that’s not who you are, then I’m okay with that. I want to be with you, Robin, not with some made-up version of who you think you should be.”

“I need you to really understand me, Vickie.” Robin fixed her eyes on the wall opposite them. “If there is any part of you that ever wants to be open about your relationship, that wants to show off pictures and go on dates in public and not lie about being with someone, you should just end it here. None of that will happen any time soon and I don’t want you to cling to the hope that it might, because it won’t. Steve and Eddie are the only ones I want to be open with. Nobody else. Not even if you have some kind of amazing, supportive openly gay friend group. I couldn’t even bring myself to use that word until recently.”

“Robin, I’m telling you, I’m okay with that.” Vickie showed a soft smile and leaned toward her, just enough to cause the warm feeling in Robin’s stomach to spread again. “We can go on subtle dates. We can make bracelets and watch movies, cook together, sit in the last row in a dark movie theater or collect flowers to make flower crowns for each other. I’m okay with all of it, even the weirdly close friendship to Steve.” She chuckled softly. “The one thing that matters to me is communication. I need you to talk to me, can you promise me that?”

Robin nodded slowly. “Yeah. That’s fair.”

“As long as I can still kiss you behind closed doors.” Vickie smiled when Robin’s cheeks turned redder again.

“I’m okay with that,” Robin said with a smile as Vickie closed in, her hands on Robin’s shoulders. Their lips met gently, and Robin remembered to close her eyes and lean into the kiss, and it made the butterflies in her stomach flutter.

When they parted, Vickie kept her hands on Robin’s shoulders. “So, are we still dating behind closed doors?”

Robin smiled. “Yes. I’d like that.”

Chapter Text

Will couldn’t keep his eyes off Mike for the entire duration of the first movie. He kept thinking back to what El had said to him; that he shouldn’t end his friendship with Mike on unspoken terms, that Mike deserved at least some explanation.

When Mike left the couch to grab more soda from the kitchen, Will followed him a few moments later with his heart beating out of his chest. He closed the kitchen door behind him for privacy, and awkwardly held onto the handle behind his back.

“Surprised you’re voluntarily in the same room as me,” Mike said dryly without averting his eyes from the fridge.

“I need to talk to you.” Will tried not to pay attention to the hurt undertones in Mike’s voice. He had no idea how to do this, how to talk to his best friend about something that would make him hurt even more. He didn’t even really want to end his friendship with him, but he knew that he had to. Things would only get worse if he continued trying to be close to Mike, he had to get over him, and the only way to do that was to put distance between them.

“I don’t wanna hear it.” Mike shut the fridge door with a soda bottle in hand and pushed past Will to open the door, not granting him a single look.

“It was me,” Will said suddenly. “Nobody commissioned the painting, I made it for you because I wanted to.” Once the words were out, he felt worse than he did before. He hadn’t wanted to say those words at all, had wanted to keep them in forever because saying them meant baring his soul to Mike even if his best friend didn’t realize the true meaning behind them.

“Okay,” Mike said slowly and turned around to him, looking at him for the first time in the whole evening. “Why is that such a secret? Why lie about it?”

It was baffling to Will that Mike still had no idea about his feelings. He thought he was being painfully obvious, going above and beyond to hide them from Mike but doing a terrible job at it. It helped that Mike was the most oblivious person in the world. “Like I said, I wanted you to believe in El’s love for you again.”

“I may be an idiot, but I’m not that dumb,” Mike said. “You carried that painting to the airport. When getting ready to run away from Unknown Hero Agent Man and his buddy, it was the first thing you shoved into your backpack. You carried it with you all the way to Nevada just so you could give it to me in case I was feeling doubtful about my relationship with El?” Mike put the soda down and crossed his arms. “You didn’t know yet how I was feeling. You can’t have made it for that reason."

“I didn’t make it for that reason, but I gave it to you for that reason, and that’s all that matters. It’s just a painting.”

“No.”

“No?”

“No.” Mike stared him down, his eyes demanding the truth. “If it was just a painting, if you only made it because ‘you wanted to’, you wouldn’t have lied to me, you wouldn’t have waited for the right moment to show it to me. You’ve made hundreds of drawings and paintings since I’ve known you, and you always showed them to me right away, and I always told you how good they were. You’ve never had any issue with showing off your art, and for good reason. I know you, Will. Making a painting and carrying it around with you twentyfour-seven to select a moment to show it to me is not something you do. I may not understand why the hell you suddenly feel the need to lie to me after everything we’ve been through, and I may not be as smart as Dustin or as socially capable as Lucas or even as talented as you, but I know you. You’re still lying to me for whatever reason and if you don’t stop it right this moment, I’m done trying to get you to be my friend. I’m tired of this.”

Will hadn’t noticed how firmly he was holding onto his own wrist during Mike’s monologue. He searched for the right words in his brain, but he couldn’t find them, and so he clutched his wrist harder until his fingertips turned white and stared at Mike.

“Forget it,” Mike said finally and picked up the soda bottle again. “I want to be your friend, I really do, but you’re making it impossible.” He reached for the door handle to leave, but Will stopped him with his hand on Mike’s shoulder.

“I don’t want to lie,” Will said desperately. “I really don’t. But I don’t know how to tell you, I don’t know if I should tell you at all, and that just makes it harder to be near you.”

“You know you can tell me anything, you’ve always come to me first whenever something was wrong.” Mike let go of the door handle. “Remember Halloween in 1984? Or when your dad left you, or any time you had a nightmare about the Upside Down? You’d always come to me. Why did that stop?”

Will shrugged awkwardly. “I guess we just… grew up.”

“That doesn’t have to change anything. If you still want us to be friends, you need to talk to me again.” Mike’s expression changed from upset to anxious, and for a moment Will wasn’t sure whether the heartbeat he heard was his own or Mike’s.

He didn’t want to be too close to Mike. It was too risky to have to walk the line between friendship and love, and he couldn’t bear keeping this secret from him any longer. Will knew he had exactly two options: He could let Mike walk away, break off their friendship and heal on his own time. Or…

“I’ll tell you,” he said without thinking about the consequences of his words. “But you have to promise me to never tell anyone else, you can’t think differently of me because of it, and you can’t end our friendship because of it. If you wanna end it because I lied, I get that, but this can’t be the reason for us to fall apart.”

“Stop being so secretive, just tell me, please.”

“Promise me, Mike.”

Mike let out a frustrated sigh. “I promise I won’t tell anyone, I won’t think differently of you, and I won’t end our friendship because of it, whatever it is.” He held up his hand as if in a swear.

“Okay.” Will took a deep breath in and directed his attention to the floor rather than Mike’s face because he knew he wouldn’t be able to stand the change in his expression when he told him. “Remember what I said to you in the van, about El?”

“Yeah?”

“I wasn’t talking about El.” He raised his head, searching for that change in Mike’s expression, hoping that he understood him without having to spell it out for him. “I was talking about me.”

It happened. The change in his eyes when he puzzled together the pieces. It looked like he wouldn’t be keeping the second part of his promise. “You - what?”

“That’s why I can’t be close to you, that’s why I lied. You can’t tell anyone, please, I’m not ready for anyone to know.”

Will always knew that Mike was aware of the fact that he had no interest in girls. How real that fact was to his best friend though, Will didn’t know. Maybe it was just something that he distantly knew in the back of his head and never paid much attention to. Now that it was out there, it suddenly felt more real and painful than it ever had before.

Mike stared at him blankly. “I’m a guy,” he said finally. “You’re a guy.”

“Word on the street has it we’re both guys,” Will replied ironically. “I don’t expect you to understand it or even feel the same way, I know you don’t, I know you can’t. I just need you to keep this to yourself and still see me as the same person as I’ve always been. Nothing changed.”

“A lot just changed,” Mike disagreed. “You weren’t into me before.”

“I’ve been in love with you for years, Mike.” Will didn’t know why he suddenly felt the need to tell him everything. Now that the secret was out, he couldn’t stop the words from spilling over. “Probably since we were ten or eleven. Maybe before that. Maybe since I’ve known you. It’s the same as it has always been.”

“Why tell me now?”

“Because we’re growing up and I can’t stand to keep this a secret anymore.” His heart rate had slowed down, but he still felt it hammering against his chest unnaturally hard. “Can we just leave this behind us and still be friends?”

Mike hesitated. “I don’t know. I need to think.” He opened the door quickly and left Will behind. He heard that the second movie had already started, and the others were chatting in the living room. It sounded distant, like he wasn’t meant to be part of it. His whole world had just changed in a matter of minutes, and he wasn’t sure if Mike would stick to his promise or if he was going to lose every single one of his friends because he had been too weak to keep a secret to himself.

When he zoned back into reality, El stood in the door frame, watching as a single tear fell from his eyes. He suddenly felt too weak to be standing and slowly sat down on the tiled kitchen floor.

El shut the door behind her and sat down next to him. She wrapped her arms around him from the side and let him lean against her as another repressed sob shook his body. Their heads rested together, and she didn’t speak, she only sat with him and held him.

“I shouldn’t have said anything,” Will whispered after a while. “He hates me.”

“He doesn’t hate you,” she said. “He just needs some time. It will be okay. If he’s mean about it at all, I will pin him to the ceiling until he’s nice again.”

Will laughed tearfully and wiped over his eyes. “Thanks,” he muttered. “Don’t be too harsh, though.”

“It will be okay,” El repeated quietly. “You will be okay.”

Chapter Text

The more time passed, the darker the sky became with clouds, and the more tired the teens grew.

El had moved her position on the couch to sit closer to Will, but she still held Max’s hand while Mike was dozing off on the other side of the couch. Dustin and Lucas were the only ones still actively watching the movie while Eddie was yawning in the corner.

Steve sat down next to him and stretched his arms and neck. “Tired?”

“I don’t get tired,” Eddie said, followed by another yawn.

Steve grinned. “Need a nap? You can come back later.”

“If I go home now, I won’t come back.” Eddie tied his hair back and rubbed his eyes.

“Sleep in my room, then,” Steve offered. “You’re about to fall asleep on the floor, I’d rather have you fall asleep in my bed.”

Eddie glanced at him with a raised eyebrow. “I don’t think you meant it like that, but I am very tired, and to me that sounded like sexual innuendo.”

“I thought you don’t get tired.” Steve nodded toward the direction of his bedroom and stood up, holding out his hand for Eddie. He took it after some hesitation and let Steve help him off the ground.

Robin glanced at them with a slight smile on her lips as Steve showed Eddie to his room. “I’ll just grab some pajamas for you,” he said, “and then you can sleep in here as long as you need to, or set an alarm, or whatever.”

“I don’t usually sleep,” Eddie argued and slumped down on the bed, watching Steve as he picked out a sleep shirt and sweatpants from his closet.

“You don’t sleep?” Steve asked skeptically and threw the clothes into Eddie’s lap.

“Not on my own terms,” he replied. “Whenever I try to, I just end up staying awake, so I just let nature run its course and fall asleep whenever my body tells me to.” He pulled his shirt over his head and put on the grey one Steve had given him.

Steve caught himself glancing at the tattoos across his ribs and chest, a sudden heat rushing to his face. Once Eddie began unbuttoning his pants, he quickly shut the door to his room. “Don’t do that with the door open, dude,” he said, looking away awkwardly when Eddie stopped what he was doing.

“Oh, so, nobody can see me without pants, so you make sure that the door is closed – with you in the room?” Eddie grinned widely.

Steve heard him pull the pants down as he was facing the wall, arms crossed and waiting for the auditory cue of Eddie putting on the sweatpants. “I’m just making sure you don’t bare yourself in front of the children.”

“I would never.” Eddie snickered. “You can turn around again, I’m fully clothed.”

Steve directed his attention back to Eddie, and his heart stopped for a second. The sleeves of the shirt he had given Eddie were shorter than the ones he was wearing before, and Steve could see all of the scars and tattoos adorning his arms. Not to mention his biceps, holy hell, he was surprisingly well toned.

“You work out?” he asked Eddie as casually as he could manage.

“Sometimes.” Eddie subtly flexed his muscles. “You should see my calves.”

“I’m good, thanks.” Steve stared at him for a couple of seconds that felt like half an hour, then cleared his throat. “I should… yeah, I should leave you to nap.”

“Then why aren’t you?” Eddie asked and leaned back on his hands.

Steve realized he was still standing in the same corner with a firm stance, arms crossed, eyes fixed on Eddie’s body, and swallowing around the lump growing in his throat. “Um,” he said.

Eddie raised his eyebrows. “Am I making you nervous with my Adonis body?”

“You don’t have –” Steve scoffed and turned away. “You’re not that hot.”

“But you think I’m hot.”

Steve cleared his throat another time and ripped his eyes away. “I’m gonna go.” Turning away, he reached for the door handle, his hand lingering for a moment. He glanced at Eddie again before forcing himself to push down the handle. “Good night,” he mumbled nearly inaudibly and left the room with his heart beating in his throat.

“Christ,” he mumbled to himself, leaning against the door from the outside and shaking his head to get rid of the distracting images of Eddie’s body in his mind.

It took him a moment to bring himself to go back to the living room, where Robin eyed him curiously. He shook her head at her and sat down on the couch, raking his hand through his hair and forcing himself to focus on the movie, though his mind was wandering other places.

Only minutes later, the door of his room creaked open slowly and Eddie peaked out, waving Steve to come inside again. Steve hesitated, but slowly got off the couch again.

“Your blinds are broken, or something,” Eddie claimed. “I can’t get them down, and it’s not dark enough to sleep.” He opened the door wider to let Steve in.

“My blinds weren’t broken this morning when I pulled them up,” Steve said and stepped to the window, turning the blind pull. The room got darker in an instant. “It works fine,” he says. “What exactly was broken?” He heard the door shut.

“Nothing,” Eddie said. “I lied.”

“Sorry?”

“I lied to get you back in here, because I was hoping that there might be something you wanted to say but stopped yourself from doing it.” Eddie took a step toward him. “With the way you just looked at me, you seemed to want to say something.”

“Eddie.” Steve crossed his arms again. “You know I don’t feel that way about you.”

“Yeah.” Eddie dropped his head for a moment before lifting it again to lock eyes. “I know. I just wanted to make sure.”

Steve nodded briefly and brushed past him to the door. He was ready to leave the room, but some sort of short-circuit in his brain caused him to close the door again after briefly opening it. “Okay, look.” He turned around to find Eddie’s eyes fixed on him from a distance. “I don’t have feelings for you. Let’s make that clear.”

“Clear as day.”

“No feelings at all.” He made a cross-motion with his arms.

“You can just leave again, if you want to.”

Steve clicked his tongue and looked away. “I don’t want to.”

“You don’t want to,” Eddie repeated. “Why don’t you want to leave?”

“Because I don’t have feelings for you, and even though that’s true, I keep wanting to look at you.”

Eddie lifted his eyebrows and crossed his arms. It made his biceps flex again, and Steve forced himself to keep his eyes on the wall.

“I don’t really get it either,” Steve continued. “I mean, you’re an attractive guy, obviously. If it wasn’t for your nerd club, you’d have dozens of girls lining up for you all of which you’d shoot down. Guys, too, I bet.”

“Are you trying to bully me for being a nerd?”

“I’m trying to say that it doesn’t mean that I’m gay just because I think you’re attractive.”

“True.” Eddie shrugged. “But to be clear, I don’t ever look at girls the way you looked at me.”

“Two facts,” Steve said decidedly. “I’m not gay, and you’re hot. I can’t believe I said that, but yeah, you’re hot, alright? Is that what you wanna hear?”

Eddie smiled with his eyes moving to the floor. “I mean, yeah, that sounds pretty sick. Could you repeat it?”

“Don’t do this to yourself, man. You’ll get yourself hurt.”

“I’m already pretty hurt.” Eddie took a step toward him.

“I’m not into you,” Steve said.

“This is a very confusing conversation for me.”

“That makes two of us.” Steve sat down on the edge of the mattress; Eddie joined him.

“Do you want to talk it through with me?” He furrowed his brows and looked at Steve like he’d do anything for him. The dim light coming through the holes in the blinds and the crack under the door left only half of Eddie’s face in the shadow.

“Not really. I’m not good at talking.”

“You’re the guy to go to when it comes to talking.”

“Yeah. About others. Not about myself.”

“Alright.” Eddie pursed his lips and looked away. “I don’t really know where to go from here.”

“You’re hot,” Steve said again. “Not hot in the way I used to find Nancy hot. Hot in a I’m-definitely-not-gay kind of way. You know?”

“Whatever you say, Stevie.”

“Shut up.”

Eddie glanced at him with half a smirk. “Make me.”

“Eddie—”

“Make me, Steve,” Eddie said again. “Find out if you’re really not gay. I don’t mind being your test subject.”

“You’re going to get hurt.”

“Is that your only concern?”

Steve hesitated. The way Eddie looked at him sparked something inside his chest. “No.”

“You’re afraid you’d like it,” Eddie verbalized his thoughts. “I can help you with that. You’re definitely not gay. I mean, you loved Nancy. You had a crush on Robin for a hot minute there. You’re not gay.” He placed his hand on Steve’s shoulder. “Nothing wrong with experimenting and just having fun.” He shrugged and turned his body toward Steve’s. Their knees touched lightly, and Eddie reached for Steve’s hand.

“Eddie, I can’t do that.” Steve retracted his hand.

“Alright.” Eddie stood up from the bed and opened the door for Steve. “Enjoy the movie.” He looked at Steve, waited for him to get up and leave, but he just sat there.

“I can’t do that either,” he uttered. He stood up and stepped toward Eddie, closing the door again. He thought he must have lost his mind, must have gone insane when he realized he had effectively trapped Eddie between his arm on the door and the wall, looking up at Steve with challenging eyes. “Once again,” he said, “I am not into you, romantically. No feelings.”

“No feelings,” Eddie repeated. “Got it.”

It happened quickly, like an impulse coursing through Steve’s veins.

Eddie’s jaw was scratchy and his lips sweet from the five glasses of soda he’d been drinking. Steve thought he tasted a hint of weed on them too, but he was too distracted to think about it for too long. He felt Eddie’s breath against his cheek and heard the distant noise from the TV. Eddie’s hands lingered on his neck where he held him close, and Steve allowed his lips to part slightly to grant access for Eddie’s tongue.

Eddie’s hands left his neck and moved down his chest, tracing every muscle, kissing him deeper.

Steve thought back to his last kiss with Nancy. It had been nice. It had been nothing like this. Nice. Not hot. Not sexual. Not Eddie. He pushed his hands against Eddie’s chest, pulling away from him. “Eddie,” he whispered. “You should go to bed.”

“Why don’t you join me?” Eddie asked with a suggestive grin.

“Shut the hell up.” He took a step back and ran his hand through his hair. “You’re hot. This was great. I’m going to watch the movie now, and you’re going to sleep in my bed, alright?” He opened the door and turned to look at Eddie one more time. “Good night, Eddie.”

“Good night, Stevie.”

Steve let out a breath and nodded toward him once before closing the door behind him. He noticed only now that his heart wasn’t beating quickly, it wasn’t jumping out of his chest. He felt calm.

He had just passionately kissed Eddie, and he felt fine. This was good. No feelings.

Chapter Text

Nancy got woken up by a noise she couldn’t identify. She startled awake from having fallen asleep on her desk and instinctively reached to turn on the lamp, only to realize it was still lit. 

Thud. The noise again. It came from her window. She yawned, stretched and pushed her chair back to slide the window open. 

“Ow!” Nancy held her hand to her forehead when a pebble hit her in the face. “What are you doing?” 

“Sorry!” Robin shouted from one story below. “I didn’t want to ring the doorbell in case your parents are asleep.” 

“It’s three in the morning!” Nancy tried to keep her voice down while also allowing it to reach Robin. She said something in response, but Nancy couldn’t understand her and gestured her to wait. She shut her window and quietly hurried down the stairs, skipping the step that made a squeaking noise. When she opened the front door, Robin was already in front of it, holding out a cup.  

“I brought you coffee,” she said. “It’s from a gas station, so it’s not very good. I walked here. I’m on my fourth cup of coffee, and if you don’t take this one from me, it’s going to be my fifth, and I’m already jittery as hell, so please, take it away from me.” 

Nancy took the cup out of her hand with an amused face. “You walked all the way here from your place?” 

“I did,” Robin said and bounced up and down on her heels. “It was a long walk.” 

“It’s quite the journey.” Nancy took a sip from the coffee. “Yeah, this is not good.” She laughed a little, opening the door wider for Robin to come in. “Why are you here, and why did you drink so much coffee?” 

 Robin walked past her into the house and rubbed her temples. “I’m pretty new to being your friend, but I got you figured out, you know?” 

“Do you now.” Nancy grinned slightly and closed the door behind her, gesturing Robin to follow her to her room. Her parents would wake up if they talked in the hallway. She didn’t feel like explaining to them why she let someone into the house at three in the morning, someone they didn’t even know, when she should be sleeping. They were all about seeing her succeed in school, but they had never liked it when she stayed up late to study. 

As soon as the door closed behind them, Nancy sat back down in her desk chair while Robin took her place on the bed. She blew a strand of hair out of her eyes. “I got you figured out,” she repeated. “You’re the type of girl to study all night for an exam she already knows everything about because you’re afraid to fail. You’re the type of girl to still help your friend even though you stayed up until three in the morning to study because even though your eyes are falling shut on their own, you can’t stop yourself from needing to help everyone on top of being perfect in your studies.” 

“I’m helping you?” Nancy asked with a raised eyebrow. She had no idea where Robin was going with this. 

“You are. Because I’m sort of freaking out, and Steve is fast asleep on the couch with a bunch of children surrounding him, and you’re kind enough to help me at three in the morning. And I needed to get outside.” 

“What am I helping you with?” Nancy crossed one leg over the other. 

“I drank all this coffee to stay awake because I don’t want to try to sleep, because then I’d get nightmares. And I’m sort of seeing someone right now, and they’re at my place right now with everyone else, sleeping, and they know that I get all messed up about my past, but I’ve had to rely on them for calming me down once already and I don’t want to put that on them again.” 

“You’re seeing someone?” 

“Not the point.” 

“Right.” 

“I figured I could just walk over to your house and sleep here, because I can’t stand being around so many people right now, especially not the one I’m seeing because I get so messed up.” Robin hid her face behind her hands and let herself fall onto her back. “That’s why I’m here. I really just need a break. Can I have a break here?” 

“Absolutely.” Nancy placed the cup of coffee on her desk. “I need a break too.” She laid down next to Robin on the mattress and turned her head to look at her. “You’re right. I do already know everything I need to know about this exam, and I am scared to fail it. Which is dumb.” 

“So dumb,” Robin agreed. 

“I shot Vecna. I’ve fought off monsters. It’s so dumb to be scared of failure in school.” She chuckled. Robin joined her with rosy cheeks. 

“It’ll be over in like six days. You’ll graduate with the highest GPA, and you’ll go off to your fancy college right away and you’ll be the smartest one there, too.” 

“I start in winter,” Nancy said. “I asked them if I could push off my start, begin in the winter semester, and they let me.” 

“Why?” Robin frowned. “I thought you were so excited to start.” 

“I was.” Nancy sighed. “I am. I still want to do it, but after everything that happened, I need some time off. I need to actually spend time with my friends like a normal person. I’ve had no chance to be a regular teenager, and now I’m 19, and I’m not ready to grow up and be a regular adult.” 

“I get that.” Robin smiled thinly. “We’ll make the best of the months until then. And once you have to leave to Massachusetts, we’ll roadtrip there.” 

Nancy nodded. “Yeah. That sounds nice.” She felt herself sink into Robin’s tired eyes, looking at her, warm and kind. “So, you’re seeing someone?” 

The smile on her face widened. “I am,” she said. “It’s great. It’s gonna be great.” 

“Who is it? Do I know him? It’s not Steve, is it?” 

Robin snickered. “It’s not Steve.” 

“So, who is the lucky guy?” 

“Lucky?” Robin laughed again. “That’s putting me on a pedestal.” 

“And you’re avoiding my question,” Nancy noticed. “Come on, tell me. Is he really ugly or something?” She chuckled. 

“I’m very tired, Nance,” Robin said. “And I’m not thinking clearly because I’m pretty sure all this caffeine has replaced the blood in my body, so I’ll need you to stop me from telling you who it is.” 

Nancy propped herself up on her elbows. “I’m not gonna stop you, I’m curious! Come on, tell me.” When Robin didn’t respond, she added, “You’re the closest thing I’ve had to a best friend since Barb died, I need some girl talk, I’m begging you. I’ve been hanging out with dudes and children for years.” She bumped Robin’s shoulder with her fist. “I won’t laugh.” 

“I know you won’t,” Robin said. “It’s not very laughable.” 

“Oh god, is it Jonathan?” 

“Absolutely not.” Robin rubbed her eyes. “I just said a few hours ago that I’m not ready to tell anyone, don’t make me break my principle, because I really wanna tell you because you just said I’m your best friend and I’m sleepy and emotional.” 

“Alright.” Nancy raised her hands apologetically and fell back down on the bed. “I won’t pressure you. I’m sorry.” 

“Thank you.” Robin stayed quiet and kept looking at her for a moment, then she turned her head over to watch the ceiling instead. “Nice glow-in-the-dark stars,” she remarked. 

“Barb and I put them up there when we were younger—” 

“I’m dating Vickie,” Robin said. She didn’t say anything else for a short while after that. “Not a guy. Vickie.” 

“Oh,” Nancy said. “Okay.” 

“I’m gay.” 

“Yeah.” Nancy looked at her. “I got that.” 

“Do you want me to go?” 

“Why would I want that?” 

“Because of what I just said.” Robin turned her head to look at Nancy again. “Every sane person would want me to leave.” 

“Bullshit,” Nancy said. “You’re gay. I’m pretty sure at least half of the world is gay. We’re not in 1960 anymore, and I’m not going to judge you for liking girls. I’m going to judge you for drinking four cups of coffee, but not for liking girls.” 

Robin made a humming noise and pursed her lips for a moment. “I was like, ninety percent sure you’d never talk to me again. Maybe eighty.” 

“Why?” 

She shrugged. “I don’t know. Because most people react like that. Because your family has enough money to live comfortably and that almost always comes with prejudice.” She put on a tight face. “It’s scary, you know?” 

“I bet it is.” Nancy’s hand moved to Robin’s and closed around it after some hesitation. “I’m happy you found someone who doesn’t find you incredibly obnoxious.” 

Robin laughed and reciprocated the grip on her hand. “You don’t find me obnoxious.” 

“Not anymore.” Nancy joined her in giggling. She tried to keep it down to avoid waking her parents, but Robin’s laugh was infectious, and the sleep deprivation didn’t help in controlling her emotions. “We should really sleep,” she said when she caught her breath again. “You can sleep here, if you want.” 

Robin nodded, and Nancy got up to turn off the light while Robin shifted her position to lay in bed properly rather than letting her legs hang off the edge. Before she turned off the light, she turned around again. Robin’s joyful grin had turned into a pained grimace and Nancy noticed tears rolling down her face before she covered her face with her hands. “I’m sorry,” Robin sobbed, “this happens sometimes.” 

“Oh, Robin, no, don’t cry.” Nancy switched off the light, leaving only the lamp on her desk to illuminate the room, and she sat down next to Robin, leaning against the headboard of her bed. Robin sobbed and laughed and put her head on Nancy’s chest, who wrapped her arms around her. 

“It’s okay,” Nancy attempted to say soothingly. “Let it out.” 

“I’m gonna have to secretly date her,” Robin said between sobs. “I’m never going to have a normal relationship, and I can’t tell her about my past, and nobody is going to react as well as you and Steve did, and I have panic attacks all the time.” She wiped over her eyes and nose. “I’m sorry for keeping you from studying and I’m sorry for crying on your shirt and I’m sorry for being so emotional and –” 

“If your next words are I’m sorry , I’m going to put my hand over your mouth.” Nancy stroked up and down Robin’s arms. “Maybe things will work out,” she said. “Maybe you’ll be able to tell more people soon, if that’s what you want, and maybe your anxiety will get better, and maybe everyone else will be just as okay with your relationship as Steve and I.” 

“Can you promise me?” 

Nancy sighed. “No. But just like you said earlier, I want to help everyone, so I’m going to help you too, in any way I can.” She nodded toward the ceiling. “Just look at the stars on my ceiling, okay? It’s really late, and you need to sleep, and I’ll stay with you while you sleep.” 

“Okay,” Robin sobbed and held onto her tighter. “I’m gonna try to sleep.” 

“Yeah,” Nancy whispered. “Sleep. I’m right here with you.”

Chapter Text

“I hate being up so early,” Max complained. “Seven in the morning is for sleeping. Not for breakfast.”

“It’s for a good cause,” El said. “Finally getting your cast off, that’s exciting.”

“I’ll be able to wheel myself around, yay me.” Max shoved a spoon of cereal into her mouth.

“You’re becoming more independent, it’s a good thing,” Eddie said as he entered the kitchen with a yawn. “I can’t believe Steve let me sleep the whole night in his bed. Where is he?”

“He’s in the living room,” El said. “Fell asleep on the floor.”

Eddie turned on the coffee machine and watched as the brown liquid slowly filled his mug. “Well, he owes me one for driving you to the hospital.”

“My wheelchair doesn’t fit in his car,” Max said and finished her cereal. “You have a van. You’ll be my driver.”

“To your service,” Eddie said and saluted. “God, this machine is slow.”

“And loud,” El added. “You will wake them up.”

“I won’t, this damn thing will.” He slapped the machine. “Hurry up.”

“Physical abuse won’t get you anywhere,” Steve said, appearing in the doorway and rubbing his eyes. “She’s loud, and she’s slow, and you gotta be patient.”

“Your coffee maker is a ‘she’?” Max asked with a grin. “You’re really lonely, huh?”

“Shut it.” Steve watched as Eddie poured the coffee down his throat when his mug was finally filled. “Robin decided on that, actually. Named her Tracy, or something like that. Slow it, Munson.” He took the mug away from Eddie and placed it on the counter. “You good to drive her?”

“All good,” Eddie said. “Why aren’t you coming?”

“Because,” Steve said and put away the empty bowl in front of Max, “Robin and I actually have a job, and we have a shift today. Speaking of, where is she?”

“I haven’t seen her,” Max said and shrugged, to which El responded with a snort. She quickly cleared her throat.

“Me either,” she added. “Maybe she went for a walk?”

“Wherever she is, I don’t have time to join you, so drive her soon, please,” he directed toward Eddie. “The appointment is in less than an hour.”

“Yeah, yeah. I got it.” Eddie glanced at Steve, a subtle glance, but it didn’t escape his attention. “A word, Steve? Before I head out.”

Steve raked his hand through his hair and sighed. “Yeah, okay. One word.” He gestured Eddie to follow him to his bedroom and closed the door behind them. “I know what you wanna say, and I agree with you.”

Eddie squinted. “What do you think I wanna say?”

“That the kiss last night was a mistake, and it can’t happen again, considering your feelings for me and my absence of feelings for you.”

“Not what I was going to say.”

“Okay,” Steve said and crossed his arms, leaning against the wall, “what were you going to say?”

“I was going to ask when we were going to do that again, but I guess you just gave me your answer.” Eddie raised his hands in retaliation. “It’s okay, Steve. I don’t want you to do anything you’re uncomfortable with, but you did enjoy yourself during that kiss, and I swear to you, my feelings for you won’t get hurt if it were to happen again.”

“It was a mistake,” Steve responded. “I need to find Robin and go to work, and you need to go to the hospital with the girls.” He turned to open the door, but his hand hovered above the handle with hesitation. “It was a mistake,” he repeated, turned around and grabbed Eddie’s face.

The kiss wasn’t as deep as last night, it wasn’t nearly as passionate, but it was just as enjoyable even though they broke apart after only a few seconds. Steve breathed against his skin, shook his head and pointed his index finger at Eddie’s face. “Mistake,” he said. “Won’t happen again. I’ll see you later.” He opened the door swiftly and strode out into the hallway.

The cast was removed quickly, and Max didn’t see what the big deal was. El stayed by her side the entire time, holding her other hand even though she didn’t need to. The skin underneath the cast was dry and flaky and smelled dead. Max couldn’t wait to get home and wash it with obscene amounts of soap to make it smell normal again.

Even though removing the cast meant nothing to her, she couldn’t repress the relief she felt as she pushed own wheelchair out of the hospital without any help, knowing that this would be the last time she’d have to go into that awfully clinical building for a long time.

“I need to take a shower,” she said as Eddie drove them back to their house, his music turned down to a minimum. She was sitting in the passenger seat and turned her head toward El in the back seat. “Remember what we talked about the other day?”

“Yes,” El said, and Max imagined her best friend nodding strongly.

She turned her head to the front again and sunk deeper into the seat. “I’m glad the cast is off,” she said. “I mean, it’s not really a big deal, but it was sweaty under there. And itchy.”

“I broke my leg once,” Eddie said. “’Course, it wasn’t nearly as bad as your break, but I remember it hurt like hell. I had everybody sign my cast, and I wanted to keep it forever. I was in second grade, or something,” he added. “Little me was so sad when they cut the cast in pieces to take it off. If I could’ve kept it, I would probably still have it.”

“You know, you’re a lot softer than you lead people to believe,” Max said.

“If you tell anyone, I’ll end you.”

“Understandable,” she replied. “I would too.”

El leaned against the bathroom door in the hallway with crossed arms, her foot repeatedly tapping on the floor. In the bathroom, the shower was running after she had helped Max get inside.

She couldn’t lock the door for her from the outside, so she had promised to stand outside and make sure nobody disrupted her shower. El glanced at her tattoo. The foil covering it was starting to peel off on the edges, but the ink was still covered tightly. She couldn’t wait to remove it, couldn’t wait for it to heal properly, so she could always look at it without being reminded what was underneath the butterfly.

“Bathroom’s busy?” Will asked, leaning against the wall next to El.

“I’m watching the door for Max.”

They stood in silence for a while, until Will spoke up again.

“Mike didn’t even look at me this morning.” He shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans and stared at the floor. “He wouldn’t talk to me, look at me or even acknowledge my existence. I never should’ve told him, I ruined everything.”

“You didn’t ruin it,” El said. “He’s just being an idiot. He’ll come around.”

“You don’t know that. I should’ve just ended our friendship like I planned to, I should’ve just moved on. Now, everything is different and tense and once he tells Dustin and Lucas, I’ll lose them too.”

The sound of running water stopped, and El lightly knocked against the door. “You need help?” she called.

“I’m good!” Max’s voice came from inside, and El directed her attention back to her brother.

“You won’t lose anyone because of it,” she said decidedly. “They are your best friends. Maybe Mike is being stupid, but he will stop, and Dustin and Lucas would not be mad at you for this.”

“Could you talk to him for me?” Will asked. “He’ll listen to you.”

“He won’t.” El shook her head. “He’s still hurt because I broke up with him, he needs more time.” She leaned her head against Will’s shoulder and sighed. “I’m sorry things are bad now. But they will get better.”

The door opened behind them, and Max looked up at Will. “You talk loud, you know that?”

“Were you eavesdropping or something?”

“Can’t eavesdrop on something that’s impossible to overhear.” Max turned her wheelchair toward Will and stared at him with firm eyes. “I don’t know what exactly this is about. Mike is always being a moron, that’s not news, but if something happened between you, I could talk to him if you want. I’m great at getting people to shut up and listen.”

“You wouldn’t even know what to talk to him about, and I can’t tell you,” Will argued.

“I don’t care,” she replied. “I just need to get him to talk to you again. That I can do.”

Will looked at El, who shrugged. “She is pretty good at making people listen,” El agreed with Max. “Why not?”

He sighed. “Okay. Why not.”

“Done,” Max said. “That dumbass will talk to you again in no time, trust me. He’s at school now?”

“I guess.”

“I’ll barge into his house later, then,” Max decided and turned her wheelchair away to her room. “God, can you believe we have to go back to school so soon? It’s going to suck.”

“We’ll stick together,” Will said as he and El followed her through the house. “Just a few more years.”

“If anyone is mean to you, I will throw them against the wall,” El offered and sat down on her bed once they arrived in the bedroom. Will joined her and let himself fall onto the mattress.

“You can’t use your powers like that in public,” he said. “School’s gonna suck, and we’re all gonna suffer through it equally.”

El shrugged and watched as Max tied her hair back with her favorite hair tie. “I’ll do anything to make it easier,” she muttered. “If anyone hurts you, I will defend you.”

She meant it for all her friends with no exceptions; but her eyes were glued to Max. The worry about her best friend being bullied—or pitied, which Max believed to be worse—grew with every passing day. She knew that Max would not allow anyone to be mean to her, she’d be twice as mean in return, but El couldn’t stand the idea of Max going through the same thing she had to go through in California.

Chapter Text

Steve watched as Robin hurried to his car from the Wheeler’s house. Nancy had called to let him know she was with her just before Steve had wanted to leave.

Robin pulled the door shut and fastened her seatbelt. “Thanks for bringing my uniform,” she said. “I completely forgot we had to work today, otherwise I wouldn’t have gone out.”

“Vickie left early this morning,” Steve said. “She didn’t know where you were, I didn’t know where you were, nobody did. Why did you just leave without a note or anything?” He wasn’t angry at his best friend, but when he couldn’t find her anywhere that morning, he had gotten worried about her. Anything could’ve happened to her.

“I’m sorry,” Robin replied. “I was freaking out about Vickie and our general situation, and you were asleep, so I went outside to see Nancy.”

“You could’ve woken me up.” Steve briefly glanced at her before focusing back on the road. “You know you can always come to me. You could even pull me out of the shower for all I care, when you feel bad, I’m there. I’m always there.”

“I know.” Robin sunk into the seat. “But I don’t want you to feel like you need to fix me. Nancy was the only one who I knew would still be awake, so I went to see her, no big deal.”

“Are you feeling better now?”

“I feel ready for the day after almost three hours of sleep.” Robin turned her head to look out the window and watch the streets pass by. “I came out to Nancy.”

“No way,” Steve said surprisedly. “How did she react?”

“She didn’t mind.” Robin smiled with pink cheeks. “She was really sweet about it, actually, and I told her I’m going out with Vickie.”

“I’m proud of you.”

“Aw, shut up.”

“I kissed Eddie.”

“What!” Robin leaned to him as close as she could. “Tell me everything.”

“Nothing to tell.” Steve shrugged and thought back to how amazing Eddie’s lips had felt on his. How his hands had traced his body, how hungry the kiss had felt, like he had been craving it for a long time. Steve forced the image out of his head. “It happened twice,” he said. “Once last night, and once this morning, and it won’t happen again because it was a mistake.”

“I called it!” Robin shouted close to his ear, making him wince.

“I’m driving here.”

“Sorry.” She leaned back into her seat and grinned at him. “I’m so glad you’re finally seeing your feelings for him.”

“I don’t have feelings for him.”

“You kissed him.”

“Yes.” Steve sighed. “Okay. Yeah. I kissed him. It was late, I was tired and a little vulnerable, and he was tired and very vulnerable, and to be honest, both of us were probably horny as well.”

“Ew.”

“Point is, it wasn’t something that happened because of feelings or romantic desire for each other. I kissed him because at that moment, I felt attracted to him. On a purely physical level. He’s got muscles and tattoos, he’s hot, but that’s about it. There’s nothing romantic going on.”

“Okay,” Robin pondered. “If you’re not just in denial and you really don’t have any feelings for him, you can’t be kissing him. He’ll get hurt because he is deeply in love with you.”

“I know that,” Steve said and pushed some hair out of his face. “It’s exactly what I told him. He said he doesn’t mind.”

“Of course he minds! He’s lying.”

“I know.” Steve pulled into the parking lot of the cinema and turned off the engine. “Which is why it won’t happen again. It’s not fair to him. I’ve had my fun, he briefly got what he wanted, we’re done with that.”

“Good.” Robin reached to grab her uniform from the backseat and got out, shutting the door and looking at Steve over the roof of the car. “As much as I am rooting for both of you to get together, if you can’t reciprocate his feelings, don’t get involved with him.”

It was a calm day at the cinema. Only a couple of people came in and Steve wondered when this place was inevitably going to close as well to follow the rest of the ghost town Hawkins had become.

He was refilling the popcorn when the familiar dark head of hair appeared next to him. “Working hard?” Eddie asked and leaned over the counter.

“What are you doing here?” Robin came around the corner. Even with her hair tied back, strands of hair still fell into her face and she pushed them away.

“My uncle is sleeping after his shift and I’m bored,” Eddie said and hopped on the counter, pulling up his legs to turn around and jump down on the other side. “Figured I’d pay you a visit at your extremely high-stakes, exciting job.”

“We’ve had like ten customers today,” Steve said. “Nobody lives here anymore to watch a movie. No clue why this place is still open.”

Eddie leaned against the counter and watched as Robin made herself a cup of soda. “I’m so tired,” she complained. “All the caffeine is wearing off, I can barely keep my eyes open.”

“You can sleep all day when we get home,” Steve said. “No shift tomorrow, so that’s technically also a day for sleeping.”

“I can’t wait,” she groaned and rubbed her eyes. “I’m so not cut out for working.”

Steve glanced at Eddie out of the corner of his eye. “What are you really doing here?” he asked without paying him too much attention out of fear his eyes would get stuck on him again. He couldn’t let himself feel this physical attraction to him, not in general, and definitely not in a public place.

“I wanted to speak to you,” Eddie admitted. “It’ll just take a minute.”

Robin eyed Steve, who avoided looking at Eddie. “What else is there to say that we haven’t said yet?”

“I just want to make sure everything is okay with us,” Eddie said and crossed his hands behind his back. “Don’t want there to be any unresolved issues.”

“There’s no point—”

“Why don’t you go talk in the breakroom?” Robin suggested. “I have this bustling crowd under control.” She gestured broadly at the empty lobby.

“Fine,” Steve muttered and gestured Eddie toward the breakroom.

“No making out in there!” Robin called and grinned, twirling a strand of her hair.

“You told her?” Eddie whispered and followed Steve into the room.

“She’s my best friend, of course I did.” Steve pushed one of the chairs back for Eddie to sit on. For himself, he deemed the surface of the small table good enough to sit on. It was a bland room – grey walls with a couple of movie posters pinned up, blue plastic chairs that were the most uncomfortable thing he had ever sat on, and a small kitchenette with a microwave. He leaned back on his hands and looked at Eddie expectantly.

Eddie awkwardly cleared his throat. “So,” he said. “Are we okay?”

“Of course we are. Did I say something to make you think we’re not?”

“No.” Eddie sunk down in his chair and propped his boots up on the edge of the table. He was wearing black boots with small chains attached to them. They looked like they had been shiny once but had been worn down to a dullness since then. “I know I made you uncomfortable. I know you feel guilty because you’re not into me, as you’ve made very clear, which is obviously fine. I don’t want you to feel like you should kiss me just to make me feel better. That’s not your job.”

“It’s fine, Eddie.” Steve glanced at his fingers to avoid the big, dark eyes. “You didn’t make me uncomfortable. I had fun. But you’re right, we can’t be doing this, I don’t feel anything other than physical attraction for you and it’s not fair.” He got off the table and held his hand out for Eddie to take and helped him up. “Friends?” he asked.

“Friends.” Eddie shook his hand.

They didn’t let go. They stared at each other for what felt like hours to Steve, until Eddie averted his eyes and looked down at their linked hands.

“You gotta let go, Steve.”

“I will.”

“Friends don’t hold hands and stare at each other.”

“I’m letting go now,” Steve said, but instead of loosening his grip, he pulled Eddie closer and slung his other arm around his waist. Eddie was too close to his face for him to think clearly.

“We just agreed to be friends,” Eddie said, and it sounded hoarse and uncertain.

“We are friends,” Steve said. “Really good friends.”

Their lips met fervently in a fire of passion, and Steve finally let go of the hand and pulled Eddie closer by his waist, while Eddie reached for his jaw. They stumbled back until Steve was trapped between the grey walls and Eddie’s body.

Eddie’s hands ran down Steve’s chest, lingered on his stomach for a while as he searched for contact with his lips over and over again. He slid his hands under Steve’s shirt and let his hands follow his muscles, over to his back. Steve shivered slightly under his touch and leaned in deeper. He felt Eddie’s hands leave his torso, and for a moment he wasn’t sure where he was putting them, but then he felt a tug in his hair as one of Eddie’s rings got caught.

Steve pushed himself away from their kiss, panting slightly, and wiped over his lips. “Christ, Eddie,” he said and guided the hand out of his hair. “We gotta stop this insanity.”

“You said that, just a few minutes ago, before you kissed me again. Remember?” Eddie grinned lightly and dove in for another kiss. Steve reciprocated for a moment before pulling away again.

“Not at work,” Steve said. “Robin might walk in.”

“She knows what we’re doing anyways.” Eddie shrugged. “It’s not like we’re having sex on the table.”

“Yes, but if you put your hand in my hair again, I’m going to have a problem I don’t want to have at work.”

Eddie stared at him with a puzzled look, before his eyes widened and he burst out with laughter. “Okay,” he snickered. “No hair tugging, good call.”

“No nothing,” Steve said and ran his hand through his hair. “We can’t do this. It’s a bad idea, an unbelievably bad idea.”

“I agree,” Eddie said and crossed his arms. “And yet you keep having the idea.”

“So do you!”

“You can’t blame me for it. I’m into you, I’m not thinking with my brain. You, on the other hand, are supposed to be the sane one, the one that sticks to his principles and doesn’t get affected by physical attraction.”

“You’ve clearly never met me.” Steve adjusted the collar of his shirt. “We’re done with this,” he said and turned to the door, hesitating, and letting his head thud against it. “We’re obviously not done with it, are we?”

“Obviously.” Eddie sat down on the edge of the table.

Steve turned slightly, eyeing him from head to toe. “Do you want this?”

“I want you to want this.”

“Obviously, I do. I want all of this,” he said and gestured down Eddie’s body, “but not in a relationship-way. In a purely casual, physical way.”

“That’s a horrible idea. I’m going to get hurt.” Eddie put the grin back on his face.

“You’re already pretty hurt,” Steve mimicked what Eddie said last night. “It is a horrible idea. Terrible. Atrocious. The worst thing we could do.”

“So, let’s do it. Let’s follow through on a terrible idea.”

“Eddie.”

“I know what I’m getting into,” Eddie said and slid off the table, stepping closer to Steve and placing his hand on the other’s chest. “Purely casual and physical. Kissing, making out, maybe sex if you’re ever interested. You get to see other people, I get to see other people, nobody gets hurt.”

“Except for you.”

“Except for me.” He leaned closer. “I’m okay with it if you’re okay with it.”

“I can’t promise anything sexual,” Steve said and fought the urge to kiss him again right then.

“That’s okay,” Eddie said. “Kissing you is already pretty great.”

“Okay,” Steve replied and put his hand over Eddie’s on his chest. “We can’t tell Robin, though. She’d slap both of us.”

“Agreed.” Eddie cracked a smile. “This can be our secret.”

“Alright,” Steve said. “Let’s follow through on a terrible idea.”

Chapter Text

Max was relieved to have regained some of her independence now that her arm was healed, and she could move around on her own. She had gotten used to the wheelchair and her lack of vision over time, and though she still faced obstacles she never had to think about before, the negativity inside her began to slowly fade over time.  

The world really wasn’t built for disabled people, she realized, and she’d have to find creative ways to get around in life. El had gifted her a yellow fabric wristband with three black dots to wear around her arm whenever she was out on her own.   

“International symbol of access for the blind,” she had said when she had handed her the band. “I read about it the other day. Just so people know to make way for you.”  

Max was wearing it now, tightly but not uncomfortably hugging her upper arm, as she trusted her memory to guide her to the Wheeler’s house. She visualized the streets in her head, knew exactly which corner to turn and which paths to follow. It was her first outing on her own, and though she felt a repressed anxiety about going the wrong way and getting lost, she made up her mind to not let this affect her.  

Usually, she would’ve skated down the roads and gotten there way quicker. At least she wasn’t missing the wheels, she figured with a grim face.   

She knew that El gave her the wristband because she was worried. She also knew that the rest of the family was worried about her too, even though nobody told her. Joyce kept asking her if she needed anything, Hopper made more food for her than for his own kids because he was afraid she’d fall into a depression and forget to eat, Will watched her every move when she moved around the house to make sure she didn’t get hurt, and Jonathan tried his best to act like a big brother for her.  

She disagreed with all of them.  

She didn’t need anything that Joyce could give her. She needed her own home, her own room, her mother. She needed her skateboard and her vision and to read her comics.  

Hopper was wrong because she wouldn’t fall into a depression, because she was already deep in one. When you’re already at rock bottom, it’s hard to keep falling, Max thought.  

Will’s worries were insane because she couldn’t get more hurt than she already was.  

And she didn’t need another big brother. She’d had one, and he died, and that was enough sibling hood for one lifetime.  

When Max finally reached the Wheeler’s house, she rang the doorbell and hoped for Mike to already be home. While she didn’t have a negative opinion about his parents, she didn’t feel like getting stuck in a conversation consisting of How have you been holding up , Can you really not see anything and What’s it like to sit in a wheelchair .   

The door opened, and Max heard Nancy’s voice. “Max,” she said, “good to see you roaming around. You here to see Mike?”  

“Yup. He’s being a dick, I’m here to yell at him.”  

Nancy opened the door wider and helped her over the small doorstep. “He’s been sulking in the basement all day.”  

“I got this,” Max said, moving the wheelchair to where she knew the door to the basement was. She pushed it open loudly. “Mike!” she yelled. “Get your ass up here!”  

“I don’t want to talk to anyone!” he yelled back. “Go away!”  

“Unless you want me to throw myself down the stairs, you better come up here, now! ”  

“You wouldn’t do that anyway!”  

“Try me!” Max moved backward, gripped the push ring tightly, and was ready to propel herself forward and down the stairs, if Nancy hadn’t gripped the push handles of the chair to hold her back.  

“We’re not doing that,” she objected. “I’m not driving you to the hospital today. Mike! Move your ass up here!”  

Max heard something moving around at the bottom of the stairs, followed by approaching footsteps.  

“Fine,” Mike grumbled. “What?”  

“We need to talk.” Max gestured with her head for him to follow her and moved to the living room, secretly grateful that the Wheelers kept a tidy house without anything standing around in the hallway that could obstruct her path.   

She stopped next to the couch and heard Mike slumping down on it. “Did Will send you?” he asked in a low mood.  

“He didn’t. I sent myself for him, because apparently you didn’t even look at him this morning.”  

“It’s complicated,” Mike said.  

“I don’t know what it is, and to be honest, I don’t really give a shit. What I do give a shit about is how your sulking is affecting Will, and I live with him now, so I gotta put up with it. Whatever happened between you, whatever you’re fighting about, resolve it. He misses you. He won’t admit to it, but I’m pretty sure he cried about it. So, get your act together and talk about it with him. Do us all a favor and get over yourself.”  

“It’s not that easy,” Mike complained. “He said something to me that changed pretty much everything about our friendship.”  

“What can he have possibly said that was so bad?” Max asked. She knew it was none of her business, but she couldn’t help the curiosity.  

“I can’t tell you that,” he said. “He told me in confidence, and I promised I wouldn’t tell anyone.”  

“That’s a start, at least,” Max said. “You gotta have this resolved by the time we all go back to school. I can’t have him being depressed at home and in the classroom. He needs his best friend, and I think you need him too.”  

Mike groaned. “I hate this.” He let himself fall into the cushions. “And I can’t believe you came all the way here to yell at me.”  

“You go all the way to the Byers’ all the time.”  

“Yeah, but—”  

“I’m in a wheelchair and blind, I get it.” Max crossed her arms on her lap. “In case you haven’t noticed, my casts are all off, so I can move around on my own. Lucky for you, I memorized the way to your house, so it wasn’t very hard. I’m disabled, not incapable, you absolute dimwit.”  

“Sorry,” Mike mumbled. “Didn’t mean to be rude. I’m not used to it yet.”  

“You don’t have to get used to it; I do. And I am. Quit thinking about me and my issues, and start thinking about your own.” Max turned her wheelchair around to leave the living room. “If you want to talk to him now, come with me. If you don’t, that’s your decision, but I will tell him that you’re gonna talk to him. He’s going to expect something from you. Whenever that will be.”  

Mike hesitated. “I need more time,” he said finally. “But tell him for me that I’m keeping all three promises.”  

“Tell him yourself.”  

“Please.” She felt Mike’s eyes on her, and she looked away.  

“Fine,” she said. “I’ll tell him that. Don’t wait too long to make up, he’s really unhappy.”

Once Max left, Mike returned to the basement and locked the door behind him. He didn’t want anyone else to disturb him. He fell back on the couch, stared at the ceiling for a moment and then reached down to retrieve the album he was looking at when Max had interrupted him.  

It was a binder full of drawings, each one in a clear plastic case to protect them from damage. Every single one had been gifted to him by Will at some point in their friendship, and the fuller the binder became, the better the art became.  

It used to be their dynamic. Will would draw or paint something, and then he’d show it to Mike right away, and most of the time, he gifted his art to him.  

It had always made Mike happy to receive a new piece of art from his best friend. Whether it was dragons or a landscape, castles or wizards, or maybe just a doodled picture of the two of them in their D&D roles as cleric and paladin, every single piece of paper was equally a piece of his soul.  

Mike flipped through the binder, looking over all the colorful paintings and black-and-white pencil drawings until he came across one drawing that he had forgotten existed.  

It was a short comic strip Will had drawn for him years ago when Mike had been sick with the flu. He had come over after school and handed it to him with a proud look on his face while their mom’s chatted downstairs in the living room, waiting for Will to be ready to leave. They must have been seven or eight.  

The comic strip depicted them as cleric and paladin. The paladin character was injured and couldn’t walk, and the cleric character carried him all the way to his quarters to take care of him and cure him with healing magic. Will had used every single colored pen he owned to draw the magic glowing around them. In the last picture, the paladin was shown happy and healthy and ready to fight again with the cleric by his side.  

Mike slowly ran his hand over the page before flipping it over and browsing through the rest of the album.  

If he had known about Will’s feelings earlier, he wouldn’t have talked about El so much with him. He would’ve been more careful what he said around him, he would’ve never let himself say what he had said to him in the rain.  

He closed the binder and glanced around the room. It was filled with memories of Will. Playing D&D together, building Star Wars lego sets together, reading graphic novels under a pillow fort.   

All of it felt like a treasure to Mike, and he knew he had to watch out to stop the treasure from sinking to the ground.  

He had always known that Will didn’t like girls. He had never cared about it in the slightest. It was the kind of distant knowledge that would be acquired at some point in life and forgotten about unless it was relevant in a new situation. To Mike, it was like the fact that Will’s favorite color was yellow.  

He knew that Will liked yellow, but it was not something he thought about regularly. It was something that only came up when he was trying to find a birthday present for him, and he had to decide between an emerald green twelve-sided die and a sunshine yellow one.   

Maybe it should’ve been more prevalent in his mind. Maybe it should’ve mattered more to him, because it clearly mattered a lot to Will.  

When Mike’s eyes fell on a box of colorful crayons that belonged to Holly, an idea flashed through his mind. He put the binder away, grabbed the colors and some paper and got to work.  

Chapter Text

That evening, Vickie had asked Robin to stay overnight at her place. She had assured Robin that her parents weren’t home, and she wouldn’t have to worry about having to meet them, but Robin was worried about other things. 

She was parked outside her house with Steve, sunken into the passenger seat and holding onto her totebag filled with pajamas, her toothbrush and wallet. “It’s all going to go terribly wrong,” Robin whined and glanced out the window at Vickie’s house. 

It was a small, one-story brick house with a large front yard and flowers sprouting wildly through the grass. The window shutters were painted green, though most of the paint was peeling off. 

“Relax,” Steve said and undid her seatbelt for her. “It’ll be fine. Vickie seems like a great girl, if you’re not ready to do something, she won’t make you feel guilty for it.” 

“But I’m going to feel guilty either way,” Robin argued. “I don’t have a dating history like yours. I’m not experienced. I’ve never done anything with anyone!” 

“Do you want to do something with someone?” Steve asked. 

“No,” Robin muttered. “I don’t know. Maybe. What if I do but not with her? Or, what if I do, and we do it, and I do it wrong?” 

“Birdie.” Steve took her hand and held it firmly. “Your first time is always going to be awkward as hell. That’s just something to get through, but after that, it’s really fun. All you gotta do is communicate and have fun.” 

“I don’t know how to do that,” Robin muttered between gritted teeth. “It’s scary!” 

“Okay. Listen. Obviously, I can’t tell you how to have sex with a girl, when you’re a girl, I’ve only ever known my perspective. But going slow is always a safe bet. Touch her, kiss her, make her feel wanted. If you’re already going at it and moving up the pace, you can bite her lip.” 

“Bite her lip?” 

“Not hard, obviously. But it’s hot.” Steve shrugged. “Everyone I’ve been with liked it.” 

“Even Eddie?” she teased. 

“I don’t know, I only kissed him twice and it’s over. Don’t change the topic on me.” 

Robin noticed his skin turning a shade redder than before. He hadn’t told her what they had talked about in the breakroom earlier, but she figured they must’ve agreed to just stay friends since they had been relaxed around each other when they came out, and Steve hadn’t mentioned anything else about it. 

“Most importantly, if you don’t want to have sex, or if she doesn’t want to, that’s totally fine. There are tons of ways to feel intimate and be sensual without crossing that border. You got this.” 

Robin took a deep breath in and glanced at the house again. “I got this.” She nodded and pushed the door open. “I got this.” She kept whispering the same three words to herself all the way to the front door, and with a shaking finger, rang the doorbell. 

Vickie opened it with a smile. She was wearing lipgloss and Robin smelled subtle perfume. She was wearing a cropped sweater vest and mid-rise jeans, showing off just a bit of her stomach, and Robin swallowed. How on earth did she get lucky enough to be dating her crush? She hadn’t thought it possible to ever date anyone just a few months ago. 

Vickie pulled the door close behind them while Robin took her shoes off, remembering what she had been told about Vickie’s habits.  

“So,” Vickie said and led her to the living room. It was connected to the dining room, decorated with fairylights and candles to make up for the closed blinds. The floor was covered with pillows and blankets, and on the coffee table laid a collection of movies. “I was thinking that we could cook together, and then watch a movie—I borrowed Fast Times and a bunch of comedy and romance movies—and have a closed-door date.” She clasped her hands together and looked at Robin expectantly, who dropped her tote bag on the couch. “What do you think?” 

“I think that sounds awesome,” Robin said. She couldn’t take her eyes off the fairylights, casting a soft glow over the whole room. She gently pulled Vickie in by the waist and leaned down to kiss her. Vickie wrapped her arms around her neck and kissed her back with a smile on her lips. When they parted, Robin stayed close to her. “Your lipgloss tastes like strawberry,” she noticed. “I like strawberries.”

While cooking, Robin nearly managed to burn the food twice because she couldn’t stop herself from staring at Vickie. Her feelings were only growing stronger, but so was her nervousness about the evening. What if there really was an expectation in the air? Robin wasn’t sure if she was ready for anything more than kissing and handholding. She had never even dated anyone before, all of this was completely new, and she hated new situations. She didn’t know the proper etiquette, what people expected from her and how she was supposed to behave.  

She ate the food quietly and stared holes into the wall, thinking too deeply about what the evening was going to bring. 

“Robin.” Vickie snapped her fingers in front of her eyes to catch her attention. “Are you okay? You’re zoning out, is something wrong?” 

“I don’t wanna have sex.” Robin covered her mouth as soon as the words had left her lips. “I’m sorry,” she mumbled. “That came out weird.” 

“It’s okay,” Vickie said gently and nudged her hands down to hold onto them. “I don’t want to have sex either. Not tonight.” 

“I mean, eventually, I’ll probably want to,” Robin said nervously. “Everyone does, right? I like you a lot, and I really like kissing you, but it’s all so new to me and I am not ready, maybe not for a long time. I don’t even know how to go about it.” 

“It’s okay,” Vickie repeated. “Don’t overthink this, we’ll take it slow.” 

“Have you ever…” Robin began and felt herself blush. Stupid idiot, acting like it’s some taboo topic. She mentally slapped herself. 

“I have,” Vickie said. “With my ex. But this whole dynamic,” she gestured back and forth between them, “is new to me too. You’re not alone in this. And I’m okay with going slow, I mean, we haven’t even said the big three words yet, why should we be having sex, right?” 

“Yeah,” Robin exhaled with relief. “You’re right. We’re not even girlfriends yet.” 

“We’re not?” 

“Oh,” Robin said. “I mean, I want to. I just didn’t want to assume, but you haven’t asked me, and I haven’t asked you, so I just figured—” 

“Do you want to be my girlfriend?” Vickie squeezed her hands and smiled at her. 

“I do, so much, oh my God.” Robin leaned over the table to kiss her again, and the kiss tasted like strawberry and joy. “I can’t believe I have a girlfriend,” she said when they parted, and Vickie snickered. 

“Me either,” she said happily. “This evening is going even better than I planned.”

The movie playing on TV was merely a blurry background noise as Robin and Vickie were laying on the dozens of pillows and blankets. Vickie’s hands ran through Robin’s hair, while their hands explored each other’s—still fully clothed—body. 

“You’re really pretty,” Vickie mumbled between kisses and pulled her closer to kiss her deeper. It sent shivers down Robin’s spine and prompted her to let her hand wander to her girlfriend’s waist, lingering. 

“You’re extremely pretty yourself,” she whispered back. All she could focus on was their breath on each other’s skin, creating goosebumps all over her body. Their kiss grew more passionate, though slightly uncertain, and Robin thought back to what Steve had told her. She got the Kiss her and Touch her part covered, and she had to assume that Vickie felt wanted by her, because there was nobody in the world she wanted more. 

She forced her focus back on the present, searched for Vickie’s lower lip and bit down. 

Way too hard, apparently. 

“Ow!” Vickie pulled back and held her fingers against her lip. “What did you do that for?” 

Robin stared at her, hands clasped over her mouth. “I’m so, so, so sorry, oh my God, I didn’t mean for that to happen.” 

Vickie got up from the floor and looked at her fingers. “I think I’m bleeding a little,” she said and walked out. Robin hurriedly followed her. 

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry, jesus.” She followed her girlfriend into the bathroom where Vickie investigated her lip in the mirror. 

“It’s okay,” she said, “it’s just a little, it’ll stop in like ten seconds.” She turned to look at Robin, who felt all of her blood collectively rushing to her head. 

“I was just trying to do something, I don’t know, it was a terrible idea, I’m so embarrassed—” 

“It’s okay.” Vickie took her hands and smiled encouragingly, though unable to hide the amused look on her face. “It doesn’t hurt that bad, you just surprised me is all.” 

“I’m so sorry,” Robin repeated quietly. 

“Wanna know how it’s actually done?” Vickie asked. Without waiting for Robin’s response, she placed her hands in the crooks of her shoulders and kissed her again. Their lips met a few times until Robin’s blood had evenly distributed in her body again. Vickie smiled into their kiss as she tenderly tugged at Robin’s lower lip with her teeth, biting gently but firmly enough for the goosebumps to rise again. 

When they parted, Robin’s heart was beating out of her chest. “Holy shit,” she said, “you’re really good at this.” 

“Yeah?” Vickie kissed her again. “Want me to show you again?” 

“God help me, yes please.” 

Vickie took her by the hand and led her back to the living room, gently pushing her down on the couch and taking her own place on Robin’s lap. She pushed her hair back and rested her hands on Robin’s jaw. “I’m just as nervous as you are,” she whispered. “I’m only pretending to be confident, so, don’t worry about kissing me wrong, okay?” 

“Okay,” Robin uttered breathlessly. 

“And don’t worry about having sex, we’re not doing that tonight, just some making out, okay?” 

“Okay,” she whispered again. 

Vickie straddled her lap and brushed her thumbs over Robin’s cheekbones. “If you need me to stop at any point, tell me.” 

Robin only nodded and pulled her in closer, the tips of their noses touching before she searched for her lips again. The passion from before was replaced by a sweet tenderness filled with desire. 

“Can I touch you under your shirt?” Vickie asked between kisses, and Robin nodded. 

“Yes,” she murmured when Vickie didn’t react to her nodding yet, seeking out verbal confirmation. Her hands moved down Robin’s stomach and slowly slid under the hems of her shirt, following every curve of her body up to her chest. 

Robin felt her hands slide under the straps of her bra and linger for a moment. 

“Go on,” she encouraged Vickie and hardened her grip on her girlfriend’s jaw to kiss her deeper. She felt her smile into the kiss as her hands slowly moved lower. 

Robin felt herself lost in the moment, swimming with the desire to hold Vickie close forever and never let go. 

Chapter Text

Max slowly dragged her fingers across the paper, trying to get a feel for the arrangement of small bumps.  

“That one is a D,” Joyce said and gently guided her hand to the next letter. “And E. You’re doing great, sweetie.”  

Joyce had acquired the habit of calling Max ‘sweetie’. Coming from anyone else, Max would’ve told them off, but it wasn’t so bad from Joyce. The gentleness in her voice made it easier to bear, and it almost gave Max the feeling of having a mother again.  

“There are so many,” Max said and felt for the next one. “F?”  

“Yes, very good.”  

Max tried to memorize the shape of the F. Both bumps in the top row, the left one in the middle row. Two top, middle left. “How am I ever going to remember all of these? They all feel the same to me.”  

“It will take time,” Joyce said kindly and moved Max’s hand over to the next one. “G,” she said.  

“Both on top and middle row,” Max said.  

“Can you tell me which one was A?”  

“Um.” Max thought for a moment. “Top left? Yeah, top left.”  

“Well done.” Max heard the smile in Joyce’s voice. “See, you’re doing great. We will practice every day until you go back to school.”  

“They don’t have Braille textbooks there. I’m not going to be able to read anything anyway.”  

“Then we will make them get those for you. We will make it work, sweetie, okay?” She moved Max’s hand to the next letter.  

“Okay,” Max mumbled. “Top left, both in the middle. H, I’m guessing. I feel like a toddler learning to read.”  

“You’re learning a whole new language,” Joyce said. “You’re learning to deal with your new surroundings, to rely on your hearing and feeling rather than your vision and you’re just learning to be a normal teenager.” Joyce’s hand softly brushed over the back of Max’s head. “It’s a lot for anyone. How about you practice those first seven letters for a while? We can continue tomorrow.”  

“Yeah.” Max hated how defeated her voice sounded. She didn’t feel defeated, even though she knew that she was.  

She was a lot of things, but most of all, she was defeated, desperately searching for dents in the mountain to hold onto and avoid falling even deeper. Her hands hurt, and her arms were aching, and it seemed impossible to reach the top of the mountain any time soon.  

“Do you think I’ll ever be able to catch up in school?” she asked when Joyce left the table. “I mean, I’ll fall behind in almost every subject. I won’t be able to do tests, and I’ll need someone in every class to read out assignments to me. I can't participate in PE—not that I want to—and people will look at me like I’m some stupid idiot when I can’t keep up. They’ll pity me, because everyone pities me, and how am I even going to get through the cafeteria? It’s always crowded as hell.”  

Max suppressed how choked her voice sounded and swallowed hard. She was not going to cry about school. That’s the lamest thing to cry about.  

“Of course you will,” Joyce said and took her hands. Max imagined her looking down at her with soft eyes and a sort of pitiful smile. “I’ll make sure you’ll have your textbooks in Braille, and I will talk to the teachers to have patience with your assignments. You, El and Will can do your homework together and help each other out with it.”  

Max knew that she really meant They can help you with your homework .  

“It’ll be difficult, but it’ll be okay. There are a lot of blind people in the world, and if they can make it work, you can make it work.”  

“It’s only a month and a half until I have to make it work,” Max remarked. “What if I can’t? What if I fail?”  

“It’s okay if you do,” Joyce replied. “School isn’t everything. Failing is not the end of the world.”  

“Yeah. Vecna is.”  

“Just make sure to ask us for help when you need anything, okay, sweetie?” Her hand briefly held onto Max’s cheek before she let go and gave her a kiss on the head.  

In that moment, Max realized how much she had missed her own mother. She didn’t know if she was ever going to see her again, or if she even wanted to see her again. Her whole family was gone. First her father when he left, then Billy died and Neil left her mother, and now this. Family was supposed to stay, but somehow, they were the ones that always ended up leaving.  

“Max?” She heard Will’s voice across the room.  

“I talked to him,” she said. “He’ll get back to you, and he said to tell you that he’s keeping his promises and that he needs more time.”  

“Actually-”  

“I told him not to take too long, don’t worry.” Max traced the bumps on the paper again. “He’ll come around.”  

“Thank you,” he said. “But I was just coming to let you know that El wants you to go to her, she has a surprise. She’s in the living room.”  

“It’s not my birthday,” Max said and gripped her push ring. “What kind of surprise?”  

“You’ll see.”  

“No, I won’t.”  

“Very funny.”  

Max grinned. “You love it.” She maneuvered through the hallway to the living room, where she heard El do... something . She wasn’t sure what it was. “I’m gonna need some description here,” Max stated.  

“Go sit on the couch,” El said.  

Max followed her best friend's orders and felt the seat cushion move as El sat down next to her.  

“We are going to watch a movie,” she said. “Without eyes.”  

“What on earth are you talking about?”  

Will joined them on the couch and turned on the TV. “There’s a blanket over the screen,” he explained. “El and I can’t see the movie.”  

“We will listen to it and make up our own images and pretend like we know what’s happening on screen,” El added. “That way, we will make our own movie.”  

“Guys,” Max said, “that’s so dumb. You can see, use your eyes, don’t give yourself disadvantages because you think I feel left out.”  

“Did you feel left out at movie night?” Will asked.  

“Not at all,” Max said, but it didn’t sound as believable as she wanted it to. Admittedly, it had been hard to only listen to the sounds of a movie without being able to rely on visual cues like facial expressions, and the voices were hard to differentiate without a face to match them with.  

“It’ll be fun,” El decided. “None of us know this movie. We can be as creative as we want.”  

“Okay, fine,” Max huffed, but she couldn’t suppress the smile on her face. She felt El move closer to her and leaned to rest her head on her best friend’s shoulder. “Which movie is it?”  

“No clue,” Will said. “Mom picked it out and gave us the tape without telling us the title, but she made sure it’s one we haven’t seen.”  

Just as the movie started, the doorbell rang.   

“I’m not getting that,” Max said and grinned sarcastically.  

“It’s fine,” Will replied, “I’ll get it. You two just keep cuddling each other.”  

“We’re girls, we cuddle!” Max shouted as Will left the room.

When he opened the door, Will didn’t know what to say. In front of him stood Mike, beaming, holding a drawing.  

“Look,” he said when Will didn’t speak. He pointed at the drawing. “It’s us.”  

“That’s us?” Will tried to see the resemblance between him and the stick figure Mike was pointing at. The figures were standing next to each other on green grass. Above them was a broad rainbow.  

“You and me,” Mike said. “I know it’s kinda shit. They look nothing like us, but I got the colors of the rainbow right.” He stretched out his arms for Will to take the drawing.   

Will hesitantly took the paper and glanced down at it, then back at Mike. His expression had changed from a hopeful happiness to a somber seriousness.   

“Why are you giving me this?” Will rolled up the drawing and forced himself to stay sane. Just yesterday Mike hadn’t even spoken to him. And now he was making drawings for him? He couldn’t let himself be influenced by his feelings. If Mike had decided to think differently of him because he wasn’t straight, then he didn’t want to be his friend anymore. No matter how much it hurt.  

“It’s an apology.” Mike folded his hands awkwardly. “I — I don’t really know how to talk about this, but obviously it’s important to you and I want you to be able to talk to me.”  

“You don’t have to —“  

“I do. I really do. You’re still the same person I’ve always known, you’re still my best friend.” Mike looked at him with pleading eyes. “Can we still be friends?”  

“Yeah,” Will said. “Friends.”  

“Nothing has to change,” Mike added quickly. “We can just go back to the way things were.”  

“Can we?”  

“Yeah —“  

“You can’t tell Lucas or Dustin.” Will locked eyes with Mike, trying to stay as firm as he could. “I’ll try my best to move on from you,” he added quietly. “But you can’t tell anyone about me, this is something that’s up to me to decide.”  

“Yeah,” Mike said. “Of course.”  

“Can you just… pretend like I never said anything to you?”  

“Do you want me to?”  

Will heard the girls laugh about something in the living room. He turned his head briefly, felt the drawing in his hands and looked back at Mike. “Do you want to come inside? We’re doing a blind movie thing for Max.”  

Mike shoved his hands into his pockets. “Yeah. Yeah, cool.”  

Will opened the door wider for him and followed him with his eyes for a moment, an uncertain feeling spreading in his stomach. He had no idea how to go on pretending to be Mike’s friend now that the truth was out.  

But if Mike was willing to try, so was he.  

Chapter Text

The phone rang in the middle of the night, ripping Steve out of a comfortable sleep. His eyelids were heavy as lead, but he hurried into the hallway as quickly as he could and mumbled something into the phone that he was too tired to make out.

“Did I wake you?” he heard Eddie’s voice on the other end.

“Of course you did,” Steve replied. “It’s like two in the morning. You could’ve woken Robin.”

“My bad. I don’t sleep at this time; I always forget you do.”

Steve ran his hand through his hair and rubbed his eyes. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“Then why on earth did you call?” He tried to sound as upset as he could while whispering into the phone. He wasn’t actually mad at him, but the grogginess clouded his brain.

“Wanna come over?” Eddie suggested. Steve could hear the grin in his voice.

“What, now?”

“Yeah, now. We have a terrible idea to follow through on, remember?”

“I’m so tired,” Steve complained.

“What’s a terrible idea without some even worse timing?”

Steve chuckled lowly. “You make a convincing case.”

“My uncle’s at work.”

Steve glanced around the hallway. The door to Robin’s room was closed, there didn’t seem to be any noise or movement coming from there. “Alright. I’ll be there in fifteen.” Before hanging up, he added, “I’m not sleeping with you. Making out, only.”

“Works for me, Stevie.”

Robin startled out of sleep. Her hair was sticking to her face and her heart was beating uncomfortably fast. She kicked the blanket off her bed and forced herself to stand up with shaking legs. “Crap, crap, crap,” she mumbled to herself between uneven breaths. Every step to the door of her room felt unbelievably slow and heavy, but eventually, she made it into the hallway.

“You’re fine,” she said to herself, “you’re absolutely fine.”

She knew that these were only the beginning stages of her panic attacks. There was a chance it would get a lot worse soon, but if she reached Steve before that, he’d be able to calm her down and help her through it before it got to that point.

She knocked on his door once, then again after he didn’t answer. “Steve!” she called, “I’m coming in.”

The moon shone dimly through the half-open blinds. Steve’s bed was empty and unmade. He’d usually make his bed when he left it. He usually didn’t leave at night or stay elsewhere without informing Robin about it in advance.

His shoes were gone too, and so were his keys.

Robin knew she had to get a handle on herself quickly before the slowly growing panic in her chest got too bad. It was still manageable; but she remembered the times she fought through a panic attack that made her feel like she was actively dying, and she wanted to avoid that at all costs.

It was hard to dial the number with trembling fingers, but after an excruciating amount of time, she managed to dial it without any errors. It rang four times until Nancy picked up.

“It’s me,” Robin said quickly. “Can you come over?”

“It’s three in the morning.” Nancy sounded tired, and Robin internally beat herself up for waking her. “What’s wrong?”

“Steve’s not here,” Robin muttered, forcing herself to take a deep breath in. Her lungs felt like they were closing. “Please? Please come.”

She heard Nancy’s breath on the other side. “Okay,” she said finally. “I’ll be there as soon as I can. Hang in there.”

It only took twelve minutes until Nancy sat down on the living room floor with Robin, but it felt like an eternity.

To her relief, the panic attack didn’t turn out as bad as it could’ve been, and Robin didn’t need her breathing exercises. Just being near Nancy felt like enough.

“I’m sorry I made you come over,” she said quietly. Her head was resting on Nancy’s shoulder, and she wiped the last of her tears away. “I thought it’d be worse.”

“It’s okay,” Nancy said, “I was awake anyways.”

“No, you weren’t.”

“I wasn’t.” Nancy looked down to her and smiled weakly. “But I’m glad you called me.”

“You’re happy that you drove here at three in the morning?”

“I’m happy that you felt like you can trust me enough to ask for my help.” Nancy held her closer, letting their heads rest together. “Does Vickie know about your panic attacks?”

“Crap,” Robin cursed. “I should’ve called Vickie. She’s my girlfriend now, she should be the first name in my head when I need help, right? Do you think she’d be mad?”

“It’s okay,” Nancy reassured her. “It’s still new. When you can’t think clearly, it’s easier to rely on long term information rather than new input. It’s perfectly normal.”

Robin couldn’t tell if Nancy was lying, but she chose to accept the explanation about why Vickie’s number didn’t even cross her mind and moved closer to Nancy. “How many days until your test?” she asked.

“Three now.”

“You’re feeling confident?”

“Not at all.” Nancy chuckled lightly. “I should be. I know all of this crap. I memorized every little detail, there is nothing they could ask me that I wouldn’t know.”

“But it feels weird that it’s going to be over.”

“Yeah.” Nancy sighed and stared at the wall. “For the first time in my life I won’t have to feel like I’m missing out on everything because I’m either studying or fighting monsters. How do normal people do it?”

“Couldn’t tell you. How do you not have panic attacks every night?”

Nancy shrugged lightly. “What does it feel like?”

Robin thought for a moment. “Like I’m dying.” She paused. “I mean, I’ve already almost died before. You too. But it’s not like that. It’s not like vines wrapping around your throat or like Russians threatening to kill you. It’s somehow all your worst memories combined, quietly killing you from the inside. And you can’t do anything about it. It feels stupid, too, because they’re just memories. They’re over.” Robin hadn’t noticed at what point she started fidgeting with her fingers, but when she felt Nancy’s warm hands close around hers, it suddenly seemed easier to talk about her nightmares. “It replays in my head over and over again. It’s real in that moment, to me anyway. I feel dramatic for having them so often. Once in a while, sure, but almost every damn night? I’ve only been involved in this for a year. And with the Russians, Steve got the worst of it, I got away mostly unharmed. I shouldn’t feel like this, I should be taking care of the others who’ve been a part of this mess for so much longer.” She lifted her head to find Nancy already looking at her with sad, soft eyes. “I should be fine,” she said. “I should be moving on.”

“I think you’re brave,” Nancy stated confidently. “You relive your nightmares constantly. And yet you keep standing, you keep fighting, you keep laughing.”

“That doesn’t make me brave, that makes me desperate.”

“Desperate to live despite everything,” Nancy decided. “That’s brave. You’re brave.”

“You really think so?”

“I really do.”

“You’re losing a lot of sleep recently because of me,” Robin remarked. “I’m sorry about that.”

“You have to stop apologizing. If I didn’t want to do it, I wouldn’t.” Without looking at Robin, she added, “I meant what I said the other day. About you being my best friend.”

Robin pressed her lips together in a smile. “You’re mine too.”

“Right after Steve,” Nancy said with a grin.

“Yeah.” Robin chuckled. “There’s just a special bond to between two tragic little retail workers.”

“Where is he, by the way?”

She shrugged. “No idea. He didn’t mention anything, and he doesn’t usually leave without telling me Goodbye.”

“He’s probably fine,” Nancy said. “Probably with one of the kids.”

Eddie’s lips hit Steve’s over and over again. Steve felt as though a fire got ignited in his heart any time he tasted the faint hint of weed on Eddie’s lips, and whatever it was he had eaten for dinner.

“I can’t believe we’re doing this,” he mumbled between kisses as Eddie’s hands wandered up and down his back.

“Just enjoy it,” Eddie said and gripped his shoulders.

Steve’s hands were tangled in Eddie’s hair. He had always loved feeling Nancy’s hair when he was kissing her too, and it felt almost more intense with Eddie. They slowly sunk down on the couch without interrupting their kisses, almost missing the edge and falling to the floor.

When he felt a tug in his hair, Steve pulled away from Eddie’s lips and showed a playfully annoyed look. “I said I’m not sleeping with you.”

“Is a little tug in your hair all it takes for you to sleep with someone?” Eddie replied with a grin and let his fingertips graze the back of Steve’s neck.

“Of course not, but you know that I like it.” He swatted at Eddie’s hands until he moved them away and down his back again.

“I like your muscles,” Eddie noticed, and his voice sent a shiver down Steve’s spine. Eddie traced his back muscles gently, digging his fingers into Steve’s hips as he leaned in to kiss him again.

“I like your hair,” Steve murmured back.

“I like how kind you are,” Eddie mumbled.

“Hey, casual and physical, remember?”

“I like... your ass?”

“Christ.” Steve snorted and laughed into the crook of Eddie’s shoulder before lifting his head up again, inches away from Eddie’s. “You’re not in such a bad shape yourself, Munson.”

Eddie grinned at him with a slightly lifted eyebrow. “I like when you call me by my last name.”

“Maybe I’ll do it more often then,” Steve whispered seductively. Their lips were almost touching now.

“Yeah?” Eddie’s hands moved lower down Steve’s back, hooking his fingers into the belt loops of his jeans.

“Mhm,” Steve mumbled and kissed him softly. “I’ll do it when we’re with the others,” he added, “and you’ll know what I’m thinking of when I do it.”

“Imma tug your hair again if you keep talking like that,” Eddie said hoarsely and pulled him in closer for a kiss, hungry and passionate. When they parted again, he locked eyes with Steve. “I can’t believe I missed out on your flirting skills for all these years.”

“To be fair, I would’ve never flirted with you up until last year or so.”

“Call it character development.” Eddie grinned and kissed him again.

Steve didn’t know what time it was at this point, and he didn’t care. He had no responsibilities for the day, and if it was possible, he would stay with Eddie all night and all day.

Chapter Text

For everyone but the soon-to-be-graduates, the school year had ended. Though they were looking at a much shorter summer break than usual, it was a nice change of pace to sleep in and stay outside all day rather than sitting in overheating classrooms and brooding over math problems.

Despite the thin population of Hawkins, the public pool was still well visited and far more pleasant to be at than anywhere else in the whole town.

The group had secured a nice spot right by the water. The boys were spreading out their towels on the pool chairs while Robin covered herself in sunscreen from head to toe. El and Max had found a spot in the shade to protect El’s still healing tattoo from the sun.

“You look so weird without your cap,” Steve noted to Dustin. “Your hair is way curlier than I thought.”

“Don’t say anything about my hair and I won’t say anything about your love bite,” Dustin replied sarcastically and pointed at Steve’s neck, who instinctively covered the crook of his shoulder with one hand.

“I don’t have a hickey.”

“Yes, you do, right there.” Dustin forcibly pulled Steve’s hand away from his neck. “That’s a hickey.”

“How do you even know what a hickey looks like?” Steve scoffed and ducked away from Dustin’s grip.

“Umm, maybe because I’m not twelve anymore. I know what a hickey looks like, and that, Steve, is a hickey. Who’d you make out with?”

“Steve made out with someone?” Lucas remarked from a few feet away. “Looks like your dry spell is over.”

“I did not make out with anyone, drop it.” Steve grabbed the sunscreen from Robin and began applying it to his arms, attempting to get out of the boys’ way, but they didn’t let off.

“Are you embarrassed? Was it someone super embarrassing?” Dustin teased. “Oh God, was it Nancy?”

“Hey!” Nancy shouted over to them. “I am not embarrassing to make out with, and no, it wasn’t me.”

“They think it’d be embarrassing ‘cause you’re my ex,” Steve said and tossed the sunscreen back to Robin when he was done with it. “I did not make out with anyone. Don’t you have anything better to do?”

“Not anymore,” Lucas said with a big grin. “It was probably a One Night Stand, that’s why he doesn’t want to tell us.”

“I hear there’s a rumor Steve made out with someone,” Eddie’s voice suddenly appeared next to them. “People are gossiping, Steve, they’re saying it was someone super embarrassing.” He gave a wide, teasing grin. “Was it someone super embarrassing, Steve?”

“Shut it, Munson,” Steve said. “All of you, shut it.”

His arm was grabbed by Robin, pulling him aside and out of earshot from the others. “Did you sleep with Eddie?” she whispered. “You know that’s a bad idea.”

“I did not sleep with Eddie, I didn’t sleep with anyone.” He ripped his arm out of her grip. “Okay, yes, I have a hickey. Yes, I went out last night on a whim and I made out with someone on a whim. It wasn’t planned, and it doesn’t matter, so, just leave it be, okay?”

“Okay, okay.” Robin raised her hands apologetically. “What has gotten under your skin? Normally you’re not that secretive, and you don’t just leave the apartment in the middle of the night. Not even a note!”

Steve sighed, glanced around and gently held onto Robin’s arms. “I’m sorry I left without telling you,” he said quietly. “It wasn’t planned.”

“Nancy came over to help me through a panic attack because you weren’t there.”

“I’m sorry, okay? I’ll leave a note next time.”

“Next time?” Robin crossed her arms. “You’re telling me it wasn’t Eddie, and yet I keep having the feeling that it was Eddie and you’re doing something incredibly stupid that will end up with both of you hurt. And you’re saying you’ll do it again.”

“It doesn’t matter who it was. All I meant is that maybe I will not be home some other time in the future, it’s possible. I can’t always be there, you know that.”

Robin’s head sunk. “I know. I can’t expect you to. I was just worried.”

“I love you, Birdie, and you are still my number one priority, and I’d never do anything to make you worry about me. I’ll leave a note if it ever happens again, alright?”

“Okay,” Robin mumbled. “Let's get back to the others, and next time use some concealer to hide your mistakes.”

Mike sat down on the pool chair next to Max and El and leaned back with a groan. “I hate summer,” he complained. “I hate pools and swimming and sunburn.”

“Why are you here, then?” Max asked.

“Because everyone else is here, obviously. Why are you wearing sunglasses? You’re blind.”

“Thank you for that helpful observation, Michael,” she replied in an unnaturally friendly voice. “I hadn’t noticed my blindness before. Now, thanks to you, my life is changed.”

“I’m just asking,” he huffed and crossed his arms.

“Most blind people can still see a little bit,” El said helpfully. “Light, or shapes, or just obstructed vision.”

“I can’t, though,” Max threw in. “Vecna went all chop chop with my eyes.” She made a cutting motion with her hands.

“But sunlight is still damaging to her eyes,” El continued as if reciting a scientific article. “Protection for her eyes is still important. I read about it a few days ago.”

“So, even though I can’t see the light –”

“– she's still vulnerable to it.”

“And thus concludes your lesson for the day,” Max finished. “This will be on the test.”

“You’ve gotten funnier since you died,” Mike remarked dryly.

“I’m smarter than you now too.”

“That doesn’t seem possible.”

“I am. I’m basically learning a whole new language. Can you read with your hands? Didn’t think so,” she said without waiting for his response. “And I bet you couldn’t even navigate around your bedroom with a blindfold on.”

“That doesn’t mean you’re smarter than me.”

“She is,” El agreed. “She’s ten times smarter than you.” She chuckled.

“Whatever.”

Max ignored him and propped herself up on her elbows. She turned to the direction Steve was standing and whistled sharply on two fingers. “Oi! Steve! Help me get to the water!”

Steve came over to them. “You wanna swim?”

“I wanna try to.” Max slung her arm around Steve’s shoulders as he picked her up. “I can swim, I just need to do it without my legs. My arm muscles are growing, you know.”

“I bet they are.” Steve carefully sat her down on the edge of the pool. “You sure you got this?”

“No.” She shrugged. “You can swim, I’ve seen you. You can just stay nearby.”

“And do what?”

“Rescue me if I drown.” She pushed herself into the water, sinking like a rock for a moment before bringing herself back up to the surface. “Look at me,” she said, “swimming like a seal. Aren’t I absolutely amazing?”

“Just astonishing,” Steve agreed. “I’ll be sitting right here in case you need me.”

“I’m doing great,” Max said and dipped her head under the water. When she resurfaced, she tried a few backstrokes, successfully making it through the water. “Blind girl coming through!” she yelled. “Make way or I’ll hit you!”

Mike watched her from the chairs, glancing over at El who was following her best friend’s every move with her eyes. “I’m glad we’re okay,” he said. “That we can joke around.”

El turned her head toward him. “Yeah. Me too.”

“I’m sorry I’ve been such a dick.”

“You weren’t.” El smiled feebly. “You didn’t really do anything wrong. We were just… incompatible.”

“I’m on an apology trip lately,” Mike said. “It’s this new thing I’m trying.” He grinned and El laughed.

“It’s a cool thing,” she said with a subtle smile.

Their glances were interrupted by a sudden shout and a loud splash. By the time Mike had located the source of the noise, he saw Steve hurriedly swimming toward Max, her head being pushed underwater and an all too familiar face.

Fucking Troy Walsh.

Before he could react to the sudden adrenaline coursing through his body, Steve was already there, pulling Troy off Max and dunking him underwater as she struggled to reach the surface. El seemed frozen next to him, and Mike reacted to his first impulse.

He was with Max quickly, pulling her up to the surface and holding her up as she coughed and found her balance.

“You son a bitch!” she screamed the second air filled her lungs again, her arms thrashing around the water. “I will end you! You fucking twat!”

Mike wasn’t so sure that Troy could hear her with his head repeatedly pushed under the water by Steve.

“Let go off me,” Max hissed. “I need to end that bastard!”

“You need to get out of the water,” Mike argued. “Steve’s handling it.”

Max pushed her hair out of her face. “I hate chlorine,” she cursed. “Fucking chlorine.”

By the time Mike got Max to the edge of the pool, Steve had let go of Troy, pushing him away and yelling something at him. Troy shouted something back about cripples and babysitting. The frantic whistling of the lifeguard had gone completely ignored in the turmoil.

El hurried to help Mike get Max onto the ground. She was still coughing and screaming curses at Troy, but the second El touched her, her cursing died down. “I can swim,” she spat between gritted teeth, “I can swim, I don’t need my legs for shit except for kicking this jackass between his legs, but I will use my fists if I have to!” She struggled against El’s grip on her arms. “Let me go and I will end him right now.”

“He’s out of the water,” Mike said. “Getting yelled at by the lifeguard. He’s yelling at Steve, too.”

“I can hear that,” Max replied angrily. “I am not incapable! Stop thinking that I am! He thinks that I am, that’s why he dunked me!” She pointed in the direction of the shouting.

“It’s okay,” El said. “Mike doesn’t mean it like that, we know you’re stronger than Troy.” She stroked over Max’s back. “Troy is just a bully.”

“Fuck them,” Max said. “I’m getting back to my chair. And don’t you dare help me.” She felt the stares on her as she pulled herself over the wet tiles toward her chair. They made her blood boil, but she forced herself to mutter the curses under her breath rather than shouting them out.

It was bad enough to be seen as the blind disabled girl, she didn’t need to be a shouting maniac too. As she pulled herself onto her chair and put on her sunglasses like nothing had happened, she crossed her arms and listened to the hushed voices whispering about her.

She heard El and Mike sit down next to her. El didn’t speak, but Max knew that Mike was trying to say something.

“Spit it out,” she said without turning to him.

“I’m sorry,” Mike said finally. “I’m getting better at apologizing now, and I’m sorry that I can’t wrap my head around your disability. It shouldn’t be hard for me, you’re the only one it’s affecting.”

“I didn’t need your help,” Max uttered. “I was just confused. I could’ve swum up on my own.”

“I know, I’m sorry. I just followed an instinct. I would’ve done the same for everyone here.”

“Yeah,” Max said. “Right.”

“I’m your friend, Max. I worry and I do what I need to do to help you. And you’re gonna have to deal with that. I’m sorry, but that’s how it is.”

Max didn’t respond. When El slowly took her hand, she didn’t react to it.

The anger of having been unable to fend for herself still bubbled loudly in her heart.

Chapter Text

Steve sat down on the pool chair next to Nancy and raked his hand through his hair. “A warning,” he said to her. “I got a warning. Next time I’m banned from the pool.” He sighed with a laugh and leaned back. “Fair enough, I guess.”  

“I didn’t think you’d even be capable of dunking a kid.”  

“Eh.” Steve swatted with his hand. “He’s fine. Learned his lesson, hopefully.”  

“I’m sure he did.” Nancy looked over at Troy, who was glaring at Steve. “So, who’s the lucky girl?”  

“Sorry?”  

She pointed at his neck. “Your hickey.”  

“How are things with Jonathan?” Steve asked instead of replying. “He keeps looking at you.” He subtly gestured toward Jonathan who was standing near Will, holding a conversation with his brother but constantly directing his eyes toward Nancy.  

“They’re… tense.” She shrugged uncertainly. “We haven’t really spoken. He’s leaving in a few weeks.”  

“You should make up with him. Part on good terms.”  

“We did.” She rubbed her temples for a second. “We broke up on really good terms, at least that’s how I remember it.”  

“He keeps looking at you,” Steve repeated. “Go, fix things with him.”  

“There’s nothing to fix—”  

“Nance.” Steve sat up straighter in his pool chair. “Your final exam is in two days. Any other time you wouldn’t be at the pool two days before an exam, you’d be studying. And look at yourself, you’re stressing out because of it.” He gestured at her fidgeting hands. “Go talk to him.”  

Nancy tucked her hands under her legs to stop herself from fidgeting. “I’m not sure he even wants me to talk to him.”  

“You’ll regret it if you don’t, I know that. You know that.”  

“Ugh.” Nancy smiled slightly at him. “I hate how well you know me. Alright, I’ll go talk to him.” She swung her legs off the chair. “Good job distracting me from your hickey.” She grinned lightly. “King Steve back at it, huh?”  

He chuckled lowly. “That’s behind me. I’ll never tell about whoever I made out with. It’s a secret.”  

“Too bad,” she said. “I’ll stay curious.”

Nancy wasn’t sure what to say to Jonathan as she approached him, but she knew that Steve was right. She’d regret it if she didn’t talk to Jonathan before he left.  

The conversation Jonathan was having with Will stopped abruptly when she reached them. They both turned to look at her.  

“Uh,” Nancy said uncertainly. “Can I talk to you?” She felt blood rush to her head, for some reason it felt incredibly awkward to face Jonathan again even though they had broken up on good terms.  

“I’m just gonna…” Will trailed off and walked away without finishing his sentence.  

“Um, you — you look nice,” Jonathan said awkwardly.  

“Yeah, thanks.” Nancy looked down on herself and back at him. “It’s a new bathing suit- look, I wanna talk about us. Can we… talk about us?”  

“I’m leaving in a few weeks,” he said.  

“I know,” she replied. Nancy tried to figure out where to put her hands until she decided on crossing them behind her back. “My final exam is in two days, and yet I’m here at the pool trying to be close to you because I hate being apart. Don’t you feel the same?”  

“Of course I do. I’m moving back to California, it’s a crazy change. And I’m taking the same exam, you know that, right? I was lucky enough to be allowed to take it here.”  

“Yeah.” Nancy lowered her head. “I know. I just miss you.”  

“I miss you too,” he said quietly. “But we agreed we don’t want to do long distance anymore. This is for the best.”  

“I can’t focus on the exam if you’re mad at me.”  

“Nance,” he said and reached out to take her hands. “I’m not mad at you, I could never be mad at you. I’m just trying to move on.”  

“Can we at least stay long distance friends?” she asked hopefully. “I don’t think I could ever not be your friend even if it’s just over the phone.”  

“Yeah.” He smiled at her. “Of course.” There was a brief silence between them before Nancy pulled him into a hug.  

“Good,” she muttered, “I’m glad.”  

“Me too.”   

They lingered for what felt like an eternity, his hands on her back and her arms around his neck, until he raised his voice again.  “Wanna go to the changing rooms?”  

Nancy pulled out of their hug quickly. “Jonathan!” she gasped but couldn’t suppress the grin on her face.  

He lifted his eyebrows and tilted his head slightly. “Do you?”  

She pressed her lips together in a smile and glanced around. Nobody was paying attention to them. “Yeah, okay. I do.”  

Suppressing a giggle, she took him by the hand and lead him toward the changing rooms, hoping that no one would notice their disappearance.

“Feels kind of weird to sit here,” Vickie said to Robin, their legs dangling in the water. “Pretending to be friends.”  

“Good pals,” Robin said with a slight grin. “Just girls being girls.”  

“Close friends, even,” Vickie added.   

“So close,” Robin said and leaned in, cupping her hands to whisper in Vickie’s ear, “that I really wanna kiss you.”  

“I wanna put my hands on your chest,” Vickie whispered back. “And I really wanna kiss you too.”  

“Until we can’t breathe?”  

“Yeah.”  

They were both leaning on their hands, and Vickie moved her hand closer to Robin’s by just a few inches. The tips of their pinkies touched, sending a tiny spark flying through Robin’s brain. “We could do that later,” she suggested and moved her hands away. “Behind closed doors.”  

“I’m on board with that,” Vickie said and smiled. “And you know, if you’re ready, I’m ready.”  

“Ready for what?”  

Vickie glanced up and down her body and smiled softly. “You know.”  

“Oh,” Robin said. “But you said that we should wait until we said… you know.”  

“Yeah,” Vickie replied. “Yeah, you’re right.”  

“I don’t think that I’m ready to go there,” Robin said quietly. “I’m sorry.”  

“Not for that.” Vickie slowly kicked her legs around in the water, thoughtfully staring at the ripples it created in the surface. “I don’t think I am either. I’m just trying to be confident because I tend to get anxious about this and my ex-boyfriend always told me to be more confident, so I’m trying to be more confident. And I just want you to think that I’m confident.” She laughed quietly. “People like me more when I’m confident.”  

“I like you when you’re real,” Robin said. “I like your confidence, but I also like when you’re not confident. I like you .”  

“I like you too, obviously.” She cracked a low smile. “I would love to hold your hand,” she added quietly.  

Robin didn’t respond for a while. She stared into the water, slowly moving her foot toward Vickie’s until they made contact. “I told Nancy,” she said finally. “A few days ago, I told her about me. About us.”   

Vickie’s face lit up. “Really? How did it go?”  

“It went well,” Robin said and moved her eyes from the water to Vickie. “She was supportive and sweet and not at all what I expected.”  

“What did you expect?”  

“Shouting, maybe. Insults, the end of our friendship, social shunning.”  

“From Nancy?” Vickie raised an eyebrow.  

“From everyone.” Robin took a shaky breath. “I expected that when I told Steve. I expected it when I told Eddie, and I expected it from Nancy and probably from everyone else, no matter how many times it goes well. I don’t know how you do it, being out.”  

“I’m not out,” Vickie said. “I’m open.”  

“What do you mean?”  

“I’m not out because I don’t think I need to out myself to anyone,” Vickie explained. “I mean, I didn’t have to make some big announcement when I started dating my ex. I bet Steve didn’t tell his make-out buddy that he was straight before sleeping with her. I believe that I can just be bi without telling anyone about it, I can just date a girl if I want to without having an airplane banner display it to the world. This whole idea of having to explain your sexuality to everyone around you is crazy to me. It doesn’t really matter at all as long as you’re happy.”  

“That’s crazy insightful.” Robin grinned at her. “You’re smart.”  

“What can I say?” Vickie replied with a laugh. “You’re close friends with a smart girl.”  

“Gal pals,” Robin added.  

“Besties, totally.”  

“Hey, you know the changing rooms have doors.” Robin nudged Vickie with her shoulder. “Doors that can be locked.”  

“The changing rooms, really?” Vickie bit down on her lower lip with a soft grin. “Are you sure about that?”  

“As long as no one sees us go in or out together, yeah.” She leaned in close again and whispered, “I really want you to kiss me. So, I’m just going to get my towel, and I’m going to put it over the door of whichever room I’m going into, and in about five minutes you can come join me.” Without waiting for a response, Robin got her legs out of the water and headed toward the changing rooms, throwing another glance at Vickie over her shoulder.  

Robin was about fifteen percent sure that she was actually going to go through with her idea of using the changing rooms as a make-out spot. Confidence didn’t come easily to her around anyone, and especially not Vickie, but the desire to kiss her girlfriend was driving her insane and surely nobody was going to notice them. She found the first open stall and threw her towel over the door.  

Only one other room was locked, and Robin heard giggling and whispering coming from it. Whoever was in there was not going to bother them and nobody else was around to make her nervous. She ran her hands through her hair until she was convinced it looked good enough and counted the seconds until Vickie would join her.  

When the door finally slowly opened, Robin pulled Vickie inside and locked the door behind them, kissing her messily.  

She felt Vickie’s hands run through her hair, ruining her earlier attempt at straightening it out, kissing her over and over again, barely breaking contact.  

Robin’s hands moved over Vickie’s back, following the curve of her spine, and letting her hands linger on her hips. Holding her close felt wet and sweaty from the pool water and the heat, and Vickie’s lips tasted like chlorine and tears.  

Tears ? She pulled away, holding Vickie’s face with both her hands. “Are you crying?”  

“I’m not, but you are,” Vickie pointed out.  

“Oh,” Robin said, “I didn’t realize.”  

 “What’s wrong?” She brushed over Robin’s cheeks to wipe her tears away. “Did I do something wrong?”  

Robin shook her head. “I guess I’m just nervous,” she said quietly and sniffled. “It’s too public, I can’t do this, I’m sorry.” She freed herself from Vickie’s gentle grip and grabbed her towel.   

“It’s okay,” Vickie tried to reassure her. “Do you want to go home?”  

“Um.” Robin unlocked the door when she heard the giggling from the other room again. “No, I just want to stay here and pretend like we’re friends again, if that’s okay.”  

“Of course that’s okay,” Vickie said with a smile. “Let’s be fake friends.”  

Chapter Text

It was long past nightfall when the doorbell startled Robin awake. She pushed her disheveled hair out of her face and rubbed her eyes. Getting out of bed felt slow, but the tiredness drained from her body when the doorbell rang again.

She passed Steve’s door on her way to the front door and noticed a note taped to it.

Back tomorrow morning. Out on a whim.

She shook her head to herself. What on earth was going on with him?

The bell rang again.

“Christ, I’m coming,” she murmured and opened the door. Nancy was leaning against the wall, her hair held up in a messy ponytail and a tired look on her face.

“I walked here,” she said. “But I didn’t have four cups of coffee. I had a glass of wine. Or two.” She scrunched her face. “Maybe more. Can I come in?” She lightly rubbed over her face as if trying to erase the redness from her eyes and brushed past Robin without waiting for a response.

“You smell like alcohol,” Robin remarked and shut the door.

“I’m really hungry.” Nancy’s voice came from the kitchen. “Do you have anything good?” She opened the fridge and pulled out a tupperware container. “Can I have this?”

“Uh, sure,” Robin took the container out of her hands. “I’ll just heat it up for you, why don’t you wait for me on the couch?”

“No time.” Nancy snatched the box out of her hands and left the kitchen. “I’m so hungry.”

Robin raised her eyebrows at her and watched as she sat down on the couch, opening the container. With a sigh, Robin grabbed a fork and handed it to her. “You can’t eat spaghetti with your hands,” she said.

“Thank you,” Nancy mumbled and stabbed the pasta with the fork. “Steve’s out again?”

“Yeah.” Robin sat down next to her and put a pillow behind her back, gently nudging her back to lean on it. “Why did you walk here? It’s a long way.”

“I’m fuzzy on the details,” Nancy said and narrowed her eyes in thought. “I was freaking out about the exam,” she began slowly. “And about what I did today. So, I stole my parents’ wine, an’ I had a drink or two.” She exhaled slowly.

“What did you do today that made you freak out?” Robin asked gently.

“My head hurts,” Nancy complained and fell back into the pillow. “Do you have any more wine?”

“I have water.” Robin stood up from the couch to grab a glass of water. “No more alcohol for you!” When she returned with the water, Nancy was already halfway through the tupperware-spaghetti and took the glass of water that Robin held out for her.

“You’re so nice to me,” Nancy whimpered and took a sip of the water. “Why are you so nice to me?”

“Counterquestion, why are you so drunk?”

“I’m only a little drunk.” Nancy held up her index finger and thumb at a small distance apart.

“You’re very drunk. Drink your water, eat your cold spaghetti, and tell me what it was that made you freak out today.”

Nancy shoved another bite of food into her mouth. “Isletwijonahan,” she slurred with a mouth full.

“You what?”

“I slept with Jonathan,” she repeated after swallowing her pasta. “We’re not even together, and I agreed to have sex with him in the freaking changing rooms at the pool!” Her freaked-out voice turned into laughter, and she pressed her hand against her forehead. “If my parents knew about this, they’d freak out. Freak out. I’m supposed to be the perfect daughter, with perfect scores and a perfect college degree, and I just—had—sex—in—public. And I stole their wine, and I walked through half of Hawkins in the middle of the night to eat cold spaghetti on my ex-boyfriend’s and weirdly close gay friend’s couch!” She dropped the tupperware on the coffee table and let herself fall to the side into Robin’s lap and covered her face. “I’m a disappointment.”

“Alright.” Robin pushed strands of hair out of Nancy’s face and held onto her cheeks. “You’re very drunk. I need you to sober up.”

“I’m a disappointment,” she repeated. “I spent my youth fighting monsters and lying to my parents and now I’m drunk and crying.” She sniffed and wiped over her eyes.

“Listen to me, Nance.” Robin gently squished her cheeks together and leaned down as far as she could in her sitting position. “You don’t have to be the golden child. You don’t have to be perfect, not for your parents, not for anyone. You’re great just like you are, you’re smart as hell, you’re strong, you’re the coolest person I’ve ever seen, and yes, maybe your plans aren’t working out like you wanted them to, but that’s the thing with plans. They never work. What matters is the present. And I’m right here with you in the present, feeding you cold spaghetti.” She gently brushed over Nancy’s cheeks, who looked up at her with wet eyes. “You’re drinking, having sex, acting out—you know what that is? That’s being a teenager.”

“I’m nineteen,” Nancy sobbed. “I have two younger siblings; I have to be an adult.”

“You’re a teenager! You missed out on your teen years because of all this trauma and monsters and alternate dimensions, you deserve to act out.”

Nancy reached up to hold Robin’s face like she did hers. She looked deeply into her eyes and pulled Robin’s face closer. “I need to tell you something,” she said with a serious face.

“Yeah?” Robin smiled at her, trying to ignore the stench of alcohol in Nancy’s breath.

Nancy nodded and pulled her even closer. “I have to hurl.”

“You—what now?”

“Imma hurl.”

“Alright.” Robin pushed the hands off her face and pulled Nancy off the couch. “Let’s get you to the bathroom, hm?”

Nancy nodded and slung her arm around Robin’s shoulders, practically letting herself be carried to the bathroom and over the toilet.

“Imma hurl,” she said again and gripped the toilet seat. “I’m a disappointment, and imma –”

“Alright,” Robin said with a hand on Nancy’s back when she emptied the contents of her stomach into the toilet. “Thank God your hair is already tied back, one less thing to worry about.”

Nancy coughed and made a gagging sound that made Robin wince. She hated throwing up, and she hated hearing other people do it. She continued stroking up and down Nancy’s back. “You know, for what it’s worth, you’re not the only unhappy one,” she started talking while Nancy hovered her head over the toilet. “I made out with Vickie in the changing rooms. And I started crying. Crying. And I think she’s ready to get to the next base, or whatever, but I’m not, and I don’t know if I’ll ever be. I just don’t really get it, I guess. Is sex really that fun? It just seems weird to me. Really weird–okay, get it out, get it all out of your stomach, I’ll just keep talking to myself—it’s like, sure, I can appreciate how good she looks in a bikini and I liked it when she touched my boobs, but do I want to touch hers? I mean, I think I do, but do I want to touch more than that? Do I want to go down on her? Do I want her to do that to me? It’s weird, you know? I don’t understand the appeal. But maybe I’ll need to actually have it to understand. Maybe I will get it then. Are you done throwing up?”

“Mhmh.” Nancy leaned back and exhaled shakily. “Can you get me a washcloth?”

“Sure.” Robin grabbed a wet cloth and wiped Nancy’s mouth with it. “You feeling any better?”

Nancy nodded. “Yeah.” She sniffed again and leaned into Robin. “I’m gonna be hungover the day before my exam. That’s great. Just… great.”

“You can stay here and recover from your hangover all day. I’ll even get you more cold spaghetti.”

“With meatballs?”

“Sure.” Robin chuckled. “With meatballs. Why not?” Robin gently ran her fingers over Nancy’s scalp. “I guess I should talk to Vickie about my worries instead of unloading on you. She’s really understanding, you know?” She sighed. “What’s it like? Having sex, I mean. I can’t imagine it at all.”

“I’m tired,” Nancy mumbled with half-closed eyes. “I’ll tell you tomorrow.”

“Okay.” She stroked firmly over Nancy’s arm. “Let’s get you to bed.”

Nancy woke up to the sound of cutlery on plates and chatter in the kitchen. Her head was killing her, the headache drilling into her temples and she groaned and flipped over to her side. She closed her eyes again, but the smell of pancakes invigorated her tired nerves.

The clock showed ten in the morning when she forced herself out of bed, rubbing her head as she entered the kitchen.

“Top of the morning,” Robin greeted her. “Steve’s showing me how to make pancakes.”

“You’re loud as hell,” Nancy complained. “Is that a new hickey, Steve?”

“No, it’s not.” Steve quickly covered his neck with his hand. “It’s none of your business, is what it is.”

“Pancake?” Robin held out a plate with a bright smile.

“Can we talk for a minute, actually?” Nancy crossed her arms and waited for Robin to put the plate down and follow her into the living room. “What exactly did I tell you last night?” She vaguely remembered throwing up and a monologue from Robin about her worries with Vickie, but nothing about what she had said herself came back to her.

“Oh,” Robin said. “Um, you said you’re a disappointment, that you stole your parents’ wine, and you had sex with Jonathan in the changing rooms.” Her bright smile turned to an awkward grin. “Are you still feeling like a disappointment?”

“No,” Nancy said. “Yes. I don’t know. Ugh, I hate this.” She briefly covered her face with her hands and leaned her head back. “I’m sorry,” she groaned. “I’m sorry for unloading on you like that. I don’t know what came over me.”

“A couple glasses of wine too many, I’m guessing. Any chance you remember what I said to you?”

Nancy scrunched her face for a second. “Yes. And now that I’m not drunk anymore, just very, very hungover, I can tell you that you should not be having sex if you think like that. You’re not ready, and that’s okay.”

“But what if I just need to get it over with to understand the appeal?”

“It’s honestly not that great. I mean, it’s fun when you do it, but I only do it because it’s fun in the moment, not because I’m really in the mood beforehand.” She shrugged. “It’s not the most important part of a relationship. I only did it with Steve because I thought I had to prove to myself that I loved him.”

“That’s a lovely thing to hear in the morning,” Steve said and placed the plate of pancakes on the table.

“Oh, get over yourself.” Nancy made a dismissing motion with her hand. “It was fun. You were good.”

“Right.” He pulled a chair back for Nancy to sit in and placed a glass of water in front of her.  

“I’m just saying,” Nancy said, “there’s nothing wrong with not wanting to have sex, even if you end up having fun doing it. And making out is just as fun. Physical intimacy is not everything.”

“Smart words, considering your hungover state,” Steve remarked. “Drink your water, eat your pancakes.”

“Of course you wouldn’t agree,” Nancy said sarcastically. “You with your one-night stands.”

“Are you fighting?” Robin asked uncertainly. “Don’t fight.”

“Nah, she’s just teasing me,” Steve said, a small grin on his face. “Now get that water and food into you, so you can recover and take your test tomorrow.”

Chapter Text

Mike had to promise Nancy to keep the noise in the basement to a minimum to let her use the last day before the test to study, although he wasn’t sure that she was actually studying. She had locked her door after she had come home in the afternoon with shadows under her eyes. When her parents had questioned them about a missing wine bottle, Nancy had avoided their eyes and shrugged it off, claiming that they probably drank it during their last anniversary and forgot about it.  

Instead of the night-long D&D campaign he had wanted to plan and play through, he had to settle for less exciting and noisy games.  

At least they could still eat junk food and stay up all night with Monopoly, he figured.   

“I haven’t played this in ages,” Lucas said and moved the shoe across the board.  

“Las time we did, I beat your ass,” Dustin said and held out his hand. “Pay up. That’s my street.”  

“Ugh.”  

“I’m gonna beat all of you again,” Dustin decided. “My turn.” He had picked the silver cat as his game piece.  

“I don’t get why you’re so into boardgames,” Max remarked from the couch where she was sitting with her legs over El’s lap. “Videogames are so much better.”  

“My parents won’t let me get a console,” Mike said and took money from Lucas. “I’ve been asking them for ages. I’d even pay for it myself.”  

“With what money?” Will asked with a subtle grin. “You can’t afford a console with your pocket money.”  

“I’d pay it off,” Mike said decidedly. “I’ll be the first one of us to have one, mark my words.”  

“I have one,” Max said. “It’s at my trailer, but I do. And by extension, so do Will, El and Jonathan. Therefore, you’d be the fifth one out of all of us to get a console.”  

“ You have a console?”  

“She does, I’ve seen it,” Lucas confirmed.  

“Me too,” El said and leaned her head on Max’s shoulder. “It’s cool.”  

“NES,” Max said confidently. “With Donkey Kong, Kung Fu, Hogan’s Alley, and Gyromite. The arcade games are better, but it’s fun.”  

“Did you buy it yourself?” Mike asked.  

“Aw, are you jealous?” Max snickered. “I did, actually, I had a summer job before moving here and I saved it up to buy the NES on release.”  

“Bullshit,” Mike argued. “The NES wasn’t announced until last year and it didn’t come out until a few months ago. You can’t have saved up for it that far in advance.”  

“I saved up for something ,” Max said. “For when I wanted to afford something that my mom couldn’t get me, and that was the first thing that I wanted. You can come by and play on it, if you want. I’m generous like that.”  

“No thanks, I’m good here. I’ll get my own.”  

“Good luck saving up,” Max said and reached into the bowl of popcorn. “If you change your mind, you know where to find me.”  

“Your turn to pay up,” Dustin said and held his hand out to Mike. “I’m winning this, like every single time.”  

“D&D is way better than this,” Will stated. “We should have a campaign with Eddie and his friends.”  

“His friends left Hawkins.” Dustin moved the cat over the board.  

“Just us, then,” Will decided. “I haven’t played a campaign in a year and you’ve been playing without me this whole time. I miss it.”  

“Totally,” Mike said. “I wanted to play tonight, but Nancy gave me crap about having to study, or whatever.”  

“I could bring Erica along,” Lucas suggested. “She’s really into it now.”  

“I haven’t seen her in ages,” Dustin said. “She alright?”  

“She’s hanging out with her friends a lot,” Lucas said. “I think it’s been getting her down, the whole Vecna thing and getting Max out of Creel’s house. It was… a lot.”  

“So, campaign with Eddie, soon?” Will asked hopefully and looked around.  

“Yeah,” Mike said. “It was always fun with him. He’s the best DM.”  

“I’ll talk to Eddie about it,” Dustin offered. “He probably already has a campaign set up, centered around the Upside Down. We could all play in his trailer.”  

“Or mine,” Max suggested.  

“Yours? You don’t even play, you made fun of me when I asked you to.”  

“Yeah, but I’d like to listen to all of you lose your shit over a made-up game. It’s funny. And my trailer has a ramp that I can use.” She grabbed a handful of popcorn and threw it at Mike. “And you can look at my NES and be jealous.”   

“How is your aim still so good?” Mike picked the popcorn out of his hair and tossed it back at Max.  

“‘Cause I’m awesome.”  

“I’m out,” Lucas stated, “Dustin has made me bankrupt.”  

“Me too,” Will said and tossed the rest of his money to Dustin. “How do you do this every time?”  

“It’s a special skill.” Dustin shrugged and collected his money. “Another round?”  

“This one already took almost two hours,” Mike said. “So, yeah, I’m down.”  

“Let us play,” El said. “Max and me.”  

“Nobody is stopping you from playing,” Will said and patted the floor next to him. “You played before?”  

El shook her head. “But it looks easy enough.”  

“We’ll play as a team,” Max stated. “You’ll be my eyes, and we’ll decide on our financial decisions together.”  

“That’s just unfair,” Mike complained. “That’s like twice the brain against us.”  

“Relax, Wheeler.” Max slid off the couch and joined the guys on the floor. “I can’t see the board and El has never played before. It’ll stay fair.”  

“I want the hat,” El said. “I want to beat all of you.”  

“We will,” Max said decidedly. “A bunch of dudes can’t beat us.”  

While Mike distributed the money between everyone, he glanced at the girls. He thought he was mistaken at first, but the subtlest sparkle in El’s eyes and the blush spreading across her cheeks when she looked at Max held out.   

It was the same sparkle she had in her eyes a year ago.

Over two hours later, El was brushing her teeth in the bathroom of the basement, watching herself in the mirror as she did so. It had gotten too late for them to go home, so the group had decided to stay over at Mike’s for the night.   

She heard a soft knock on the door through the chatter in the adjacent room. “Come in!” she called mumbling through toothpaste and toothbrush.   

“Hi there,” Mike said, closing the door behind him. “You doing okay?”  

“Mhm,” El mumbled and spit out her toothpaste, rinsing the brush with water. “We beat you, I’m great.”  

“I wanted to ask you something.” He leaned against the door with his hands crossed behind his back. “About us.”  

El looked at him curiously.  

“You did love me, right?”  

She nodded. “I did. Why are you asking?”  

“Another question,” Mike said, “what’s it like living with Max?”  

“It’s good,” El said. “Yeah, it’s good, we have fun. It’s a little bit cramped, but we make it work.” She realized the smile that had snuck onto her lips. “I like sharing my room with her. She has a lot of posters on the walls. And a lot of comics.”  

“That’s… nice.” Mike narrowed his eyes slightly and hesitated for a second. “I’m gonna say something and you can’t tell me that I’m crazy, okay?”  

El tilted her head slightly. “Okay,” she said slowly.  

“I think that you have a crush on Max,” Mike said. “Think about it,” he added quickly, “you look at her the same way you used to look at me, you’re constantly searching for physical contact with her, you don’t go anywhere without her, and you were completely frozen when Troy dunked her at the pool.”  

“She’s my best friend.” El gripped the edges of the sink. “We live together, we’re best friends.”  

“Yeah,” Mike said. “You are. I think you are also into her.”  

“I am not. I love her because she’s my best friend.”  

“Okay.” Mike shrugged. “I just wanted to ask, maybe help you figure things out.” He attempted a smile. “I’m trying to be more open, and less oblivious to everyone around me.”  

“You’re doing well,” El said encouragingly. “But you are wrong about this.”

“You gotta stop giving me hickeys,” Steve complained with Eddie’s lips on his neck. “The others are asking, and I can’t tell them.” He was pinned down under Eddie’s body, trailing kisses over his neck and down to his shoulder.  

“But I love giving you hickeys,” Eddie disagreed. “It’s really hot.”  

“Well, you gotta stop it.” His hands softly ran through Eddie’s hair. “I can’t lie to them, they’re my family.”  

“You’re already lying to them by making out with me.” Eddie stopped covering Steve’s skin in kisses and propped himself up on his elbows, his face close to Steve’s. “What’s the difference if I claim my stake?”  

“I’m not someone you can claim,” Steve argued. “Casual. Remember that. Casual.”  

“Casual,” Eddie said. “You get to see other people, I get to see other people, I got it. But I do like showing off that I’ve been in King Steve’s territory.”  

“Stop it with the King Steve crap.” He reached up to cup Eddie’s face. “I’m serious, they keep bugging me about it, and I hate lying, especially to Birdie.”  

“Then tell her,” Eddie suggested. “I don’t mind.”  

“I do. She’ll talk my ear off about how bad of an idea this is.”  

“She wouldn’t be wrong.” Eddie leaned down to kiss his neck again. “It is a bad idea.”  

“Yeah, yeah.” Steve sighed. “A stupidly bad, hot idea.”  

Eddie let off of him again. “Okay, I won’t give you a hickey tonight.”  

“Thank you.”  

“How about you give me one?”  

“That’s an even worse idea.” Steve tried to sit up a little straighter under Eddie’s body and rested his hand on Eddie’s neck. “They’ll connect the dots.”  

“Please, everyone thinks you’re straighter than a ruler.”  

“I’m not gay.”  

“I know you’re not.” Eddie’s hand quickly moved to Steve’s hair and gently tugged at it. “But a straight guy doesn’t get turned on when another guy pulls his hair.”  

“Alright.” Steve swatted his hand away and pushed against Eddie’s shoulders until he was the one leaning above him. “I’m not interested in questioning my sexuality right now, I’m interested in kissing you.”  

“You interested in giving me a hickey?” Eddie raised his eyebrows suggestively with a smile.  

Steve met his lips in a bruising kiss and slowly moved his hands under Eddie’s shirt. When he lifted his head, just high enough to look into Eddie’s eyes, he pulled at the fabric of the shirt. “Not where everyone can see.”  

“Damn, Stevie,” Eddie said. “You sure?”  

“Why wouldn’t I be?”  

“’Cause you’ve been hesitant to let me take off my shirt whenever we make out even though you love getting your hands all over me—”  

“I don’t love it.”  

“—and now you wanna suck the skin on my chest?”  

“When you put it that way,” Steve said and helped Eddie pull his shirt over his head and tossed it aside, “it sounds kind of gross.”  

“Doesn’t seem to bother you.” Eddie laughed when Steve pulled him into another kiss, breathing into him, eager and yearning. His hands trailed down Eddie’s chest while Eddie felt for the muscles on Steve’s back. “You’re so damn hot, Stevie,” he uttered when Steve moved his lips down his neck and over his shoulder. “Better make it good,” he said. “If the others can’t see it, I wanna see it every time I look in the mirror.”  

“You gave me two,” Steve talked against his skin. “That means I owe you two.”  

“Consider me interested.”  

Steve lifted his head lightly. “I’m usually the one giving the hickeys, not receiving them, so you bet your sweet ass I’m good at it.”  

Chapter Text

The clock in the hallway showed ten minutes before the start of the exam. Nancy’s leg was bouncing anxiously while she chewed on a pencil she had borrowed from Jonathan, her mind was going over everything she had studied.   

Jonathan moved to the seat next to her and put a shoulder on her hand. “You got this,” he said quietly. “You’re prepared.”  

Nancy glanced around the hallway. All of her classmates seemed equally stressed, looking through index cards and notes. “What if I don’t?” she whispered back. “What if I’ll fail? I spent all day yesterday recovering from a hangover. And I forgot my lucky pencil at home. It’s doomed to fail.”  

“You got drunk?” Jonathan chuckled lightly. “Why?”  

“I don’t even know.” She sighed and flipped her index cards over. “I was freaking out.”  

“It’ll be over in a few hours. You’ll be done quicker than everyone else, and we’ll go out to celebrate after, alright?”  

“We?” Nancy pushed a strand of hair out of her face. “Like, you and me?”  

“Yeah.” He shrugged with a smile. “We could get a drink, catch up…” He nudged her knee with his. “I miss you, Nance.”  

“You know I miss you too. But I really have other things in mind right now, I don’t think this is a good idea. I mean, you’re leaving in, what, two weeks? We’ll be right back where we started.” She shook her head slightly. “I don’t want that.”  

Her focus on the cards was disrupted by an echoing noise in the hallways. It sounded like running footsteps, turning everyone’s heads toward the end of the hall.  

“Is someone late?” Jonathan asked with a glance around the group.  

“I don’t think so, everyone is here.”  

The footsteps became quicker until Robin turned up around the corner, stopping her run by grabbing the corner of the wall. “Nance!” she called and hurried down the hallway. “Great to see all of you again, keep studying,” she said out of breath as she passed the other students, watching her.   

“What are you doing here?” Nancy stood up and glanced at the clock again. Six more minutes.  

“Hold on, give me a second.” Robin leaned on her upper thighs, catching her breath. Panting, she pushed her hair out of her face and stood up straight again. “Okay, so, uh, I called your house this morning to wish you good luck, but you weren’t there, and your mom said that you already left. Um, wow, I am not cut out for physical activity, whew.”  

“Get to the point,” Nancy whispered. “I have about five minutes until that door opens and I’m being dragged into the most important exam of my life so far.”  

“Okay, okay, you’re tense, I get it. So, I was talking to your mom, and she mentioned that your favorite pencil was still on your desk, or your lucky pencil, or whatever, so I went to ask Steve to drive me to your house and pick it up for you, but Steve was God-knows-where, so I walked there, or rather, I ran there, and I picked up your pencil, and then I ran here, and now I can’t breathe.” She exhaled and wiped over her forehead.  

Nancy stared at her with a confused and expectant expression. “So...?”  

“Right.” Robin frantically dug around in her bag. “Here it is!” She pulled out the pencil and handed it to Nancy. “There you go, one lucky pencil.”  

“You seriously did that?” Nancy stared at the pencil in her hands.  

“Yeah, no big deal.”  

“Um, huge deal.” Nancy pulled Robin into a hug. “Thank you,” she muttered. “It’s just a pencil, but thank you.”  

“It’s more than a pencil.” Robin held her tight. “But the clock is ticking, and you gotta get in there in a few minutes, and I’ll wait for you to celebrate afterwards, because you will pass, alright?”  

“Okay.” Nancy nodded into the hug. “Yeah, I’ll pass. We’ll celebrate.”  

Robin let go of the hug, gently holding onto Nancy’s shoulder with some distance between them. “Yeah, you will. We’ll all celebrate for both of you.” She glanced and smiled at Jonathan. “All of us, for both of you.” Her hands moved down to Nancy’s and squeezed them lightly. “You got this.” Her eyes flickered down for a split second before locking with Nancy’s again.  

“I’ll see you after,” Nancy said quietly.  

“Mhm, yeah.” Robin ripped her glance away and cleared her throat. “Okay, yes, I’ll leave you be.” She let go of her hands. “Good luck. Not that you need it. But, um, good luck.” She walked a few steps backwards with her eyes glued to Nancy. “Uh, good luck to all of you,” she said and lightly raised her hand to Nancy before turning around and walking out.  

“Okay,” Nancy said to herself, smoothening out her skirt. “We got this.”  

“Yeah,” Jonathan agreed. “We got this.”  

The door opened, and Nancy picked up her bag from the floor. She nodded briefly at Jonathan, who gave her an encouraging smile.  

When she found her seat and laid out her pens, Nancy let her eyes wander over the room. This was it, the end of high school, the beginning of her life.

Robin had no idea how long the exam would take. She decided to sit on a bench outside the main entrance to wait for Nancy. She leaned against the backrest of the bench and stared at the door, when someone sat down next to her.   

“Hey,” Will said. “You here for Nancy?”  

“Yeah.”  

“I’m waiting for Jonathan. El’s with Max. I didn’t have anything else to do.” He folded his hands in his lap and glanced at her. “Can I ask you something?”  

“Sure, kid, hit me.” Robin leaned one arm over the backrest and turned toward him. “And don’t ask me to stop calling you kid, because you’re a kid.”  

He chuckled lightly. “No, that’s not it. Do you remember the day we all visited Max after she woke up?”  

“Like it was yesterday. Crazy day.”  

“Yeah. Um, you said something to me in the car that day. Do you… do you remember that?” He pressed his lips together.  

“Uh,” Robin said and thought back. “Very vaguely.”  

“You said we could always come to you about non-alternate-dimension related problems. About everything.”  

“I remember it,” Robin said. “Sorta. That was like…three months ago?”  

“Two.”  

“Right. Feels so much longer.” She sighed and looked at the entrance for a moment before turning her attention back to Will. “What about it?”  

“I have something I need to talk about, but I can’t actually say it, because I don’t know how to or if I should speak about it at all.”  

“Okay,” Robin said slowly. “Sure, try.”  

“Okay.” He turned toward her slightly, keeping his eyes on something in the distance. “I like someone. And I told that person that I do, and now everything is weird. We fought, we talked it out and agreed to put it past us because they don’t feel the same way and never will, and I thought it’d be easy to just ignore my feelings, but I don’t think that I can. And I don’t know what to do.”  

“Hm.” Robin slightly narrowed her eyes at him and watched as his face turned redder. “Before I help you with my incredible advice, I have a counter question for you.”  

Will didn’t reply.  

“First of all, why are you coming to me with this? Not that I don’t wanna help you,” she added quickly, “but we’ve barely interacted before, considering you’ve been in California for a year. Surely, you’d prefer talking about this with your brother, El or your mom.”  

“Jonathan’s been busy,” he said quietly. “I don’t want to talk to my mom about it, and I’ve talked about it with El before, but there’s… a reason why I’m not doing it now.”  

“Ah,” Robin said. “A conflict of interest?”  

“What?” For the first time in the conversation, Will held direct eye contact, his cheeks growing even redder. “How – I mean, what do you mean?”  

“I’m going to say something,” Robin said carefully, already picking out her words in her mind, “and I want you to know that me saying this is in no way trying to hurt or attack you or get too personal.”  

“Okay,” Will said slowly and moved away by only an inch.  

“You came to talk to me specifically because you have a feeling that I might understand you,” Robin said. She worded it like a question, but she didn’t need a confirmation from him.  

“Yeah,” he said anyways.  

“You just told me you like someone , and you talked to that person and they don’t like you back and I know a thing or two about dancing around direct pronouns or names. Is there any chance that this person you’re talking about is a guy?” Robin watched as he swallowed and looked away. She had no intention of outing herself to another person in the group, but she figured if she had to out herself to anyone, it should be someone who wasn’t all that different from herself.  

The way Will was speaking reminded her of the way she talked to Nancy about Vickie before coming out, and she had always had a feeling about him.  

“I don’t know if I can tell you that,” Will said slowly.  

“Well,” Robin said and tried to show an encouraging smile, “if it is, I’m letting you know that I would not have a problem with that, I would not tell anybody about it if you didn’t want me to, and you have my full support, no matter what, okay? I promise. I’m your friend. What is it you kids always say?”  

“Friends don’t lie,” he mumbled.  

“Yeah. Friends don’t lie. And most importantly, Robin doesn’t lie, because Robin can’t lie for shit, but I can keep a secret.” She raised her hands as if in swear and placed her other palm on her heart. “You can trust me.”  

He nodded slowly and smiled lightly at her hand gesture. “Yeah. It’s a guy.”  

“Okay,” Robin said. “Good. I’m assuming the guy is Mike, but you don’t have to confirm or deny that to me, that’s none of my business.”  

“So, what should I do?” he asked uncertainly. “It was a mistake to tell him at all, I’ve just made things worse. I should’ve just kept quiet.”  

“No,” Robin said decidedly. “It would’ve killed you. Maybe things are awkward now, but they will pass. You’ll either be able to move on from him, or he’ll fall for you, too.”  

“What if both of that doesn’t happen?”  

“Trust me,” she said. “It will. From my own experience, everything passes over time. It gets easier, and you get to move on.”  

“How long?”  

“My first hopeless crush passed after a year or so.”  

“Mine has been going on for three or four.”  

“Ouch.” Robin inhaled through her teeth. “That’s a tough one.”  

“Yeah.”  

“Well, the good news is, that you can talk to someone about it now. And talking helps. That’s something I can promise you, as long as you can vent to someone about it, it’ll get easier. I assume you haven’t had that before.”  

He shook his head. “I haven’t.”  

“Now you do. You can always call or come over, alright? Vent it all out. Get angry about it, cry about it, process it. That’s the best way to heal. Just come by any time.”  

“What if Steve’s there? I don’t want everyone to know.”  

“I can assure you, Steve doesn’t judge or tell either.”  

“How can you be sure?”  

“Because he kept my secret. Hasn’t told a soul. And he’s still my best friend, in fact, he became my best friend after I told him about it.” She gently put a hand on Will’s shoulder. “You’re not alone in the world, kid. You’re not the only one who feels this way and there are people who are going through exactly the same thing right now, just like there are people who have gone through it before. You will find your person, and you will have people who know what you’re feeling. Like me.”  

Will looked like he was holding back tears, fidgeting with his hands and looking away. “I just feel like I’ll never get to be like the others.”  

“You don’t have to be like the others. You only have to be like yourself. Look at me, for instance.” She gestured up and down herself. “I am so not like most people, and that’s okay. You’re not like most people either, and neither is anyone else. That’s the beauty of it.”  

“Do you actually believe it’ll get better?” he asked hesitantly.  

“I really do.” She smiled at him. “When I was going through the same thing, I didn’t have someone to confide in. I just suffered through it until I finally accepted that this is who I am. You’ll get there too.”  

“Thanks,” Will mumbled. “For… being a safe person.”  

“You got this.” She gently placed her hand on his back. “We’ll stick together.”

Chapter Text

“To graduation!” Steve raised his glass, clinking it with the others.

“To never seeing Hawkins High again,” Eddie agreed cheerfully.

“I still can’t believe it’s over,” Jonathan said. “For both of us. Finally, it’s over.” He smiled at Nancy, who reciprocated the smile with dimples in her cheek.

“I’m so happy for you.” Robin squeezed Nancy from her side. “Now you’ll have more time to hang out with me - with us, I mean.” She cleared her throat and let go of Nancy, moving closer to Vickie again. “Let’s get wasted,” she added confidently.

“I can’t wait for you to grow up,” Eddie said and took a swig of his drink. “So we can actually celebrate at a bar instead of Steve’s living room.”

“Oh, shut up,” Nancy groaned jokingly. “You’re just old.”

“You’re just a child,” he joked back. “I remember when I was nineteen. Crazy days.”

Steve snorted next to him. “You’re two years older than her, you idiot.”

Eddie refilled his glass with a swift motion. “I died, that gives me extra years on you. And I’m more experienced in drinking.”

“Weird thing to brag about,” Vickie said with a grin. “I could totally outdrink you.”

“I could outdrink all of you,” Nancy claimed, earning herself a nudge from Robin’s elbow.

“Yeah, right.” Robin laughed. “You’re the one who was bent over my toilet only two days ago, you can not outdrink anyone. I, however, can totally do that.”

“You’re a lightweight,” Steve countered. “You can’t drink a lot at all, Nance gets wasted after a glass or two, I’ve never even seen Jonathan pick up a drink and I can’t speak for Vickie, so, my money is on Eddie.”

“What about yourself?” Vickie asked, a playful smile on her face. “You don’t think that you could beat us?”

“I haven’t gotten drunk in a long time,” Steve said. “Ever since Starcourt, I think.”

“Since the fire?” Vickie asked. “Why?”

Steve threw a glance at Robin, who put her drink down. “Um, that was the same night we got super high. Remember I told you about that?”

“Yeah, I guess I don’t like not being in control of myself anymore,” Steve added. He swayed his glass in a circular motion, watching the drink move with it. “That was one hell of a night.”

“But it was kind of funny.” Robin snickered. “I remember a lot of laughing. And vaguely, Dustin shouting at us?”

Steve snorted. “Yeah, yeah, and we watched that movie –”

“Back to the future!”

“It’s a crazy movie,” Steve said and nodded. “Crazy night.” He ran his hand through his hair. “Never again, though.”

“Remember the rats?” Jonathan added. “That was batshit.”

“What rats?” Vickie asked.

“Jonathan and I were doing a report on some rats that were going crazy,” Nancy explained as vaguely as possible. “Eating fertilizer and such. Super weird.”

Vickie glanced at Robin, who shrugged lightly. “You had to be there.”

“Anyways,” Steve distracted, “once again, congratulations to Nance and Jonathan to getting out of the hellhole that is Hawkins High.”

Vickie’s hands were caressing Robin’s hair softly as her head was resting in Vickie’s lap.

“I told you I’m a lightweight,” Robin complained to the group. “Why did you let me drink?”

“You told me the opposite, Birdie,” Steve said.

Robin groaned and covered her face with her hands. “I hate this,” she said. “I hate drinking. Please never stop touching my head.” She leaned farther into Vickie’s touch. “Ugh, this is great. I’m so grateful for your head massage.”

“You’re very welcome,” Vickie said with a chuckle.

“Nance, Jonathan, you wanna sleep in my room?” Steve offered. “As long as you don’t make out in my bed. I’ll be happy to take the couch, and Eddie is used to sleeping on the floor anyways.”

“Am not,” Eddie said.

“Please, you’ve slept on worse before.”

“Your room works,” Nancy said. “Thanks. Don’t worry, we won’t be making out.”

As soon as the bedroom door closed behind them, Steve looked down at Robin and Vickie. “You ready to go to bed, Birdie? Sleep it off?”

“Noo,” she whined and pressed Vickie’s hands to her head. “I need her to keep massaging me.”

“Can’t do that if you’re holding my hands down,” Vickie said.

Robin mumbled something incomprehensible and let go of her girlfriend’s hands, and Vickie continued her massage.

“Birdie,” Steve said again. “Come on, go sleep in your bed instead of the floor.” He reached out with his hand, and after some hesitation, Robin took it with a groan. He pulled her up and she let herself fall against his chest.

“You’re such a good friend,” she mumbled. “I love you, you’re great, never leave me.”

“She’s the emotional type, huh?” Vickie said while getting up from the floor. “I get really jittery when I’m drunk. And loud.” She chuckled. “Be glad you didn’t have to see that tonight.”

“Soooo great,” Robin said against Steve’s chest and wrapped her arms around him. “Love everything about you.”

“Alright.” Steve gently pushed her away from him and into Vickie’s direction. “I love you too. Go to bed.”

“How is she the only drunk one?” Eddie asked with a grin. “I drank twice as much, and I don’t even feel anything.”

“Stop bragging, Munson.” Steve threw a pillow at him. “You’re sleeping on the floor.”

“G’night,” Robin mumbled as Vickie lead her to her room. “Love you guys.”

“Why did you put Jonathan and Nancy in your bed?” Eddie asked once the door closed behind Robin and Vickie. “We could’ve shared it.”

“Yeah, right.” Steve let himself fall onto the couch. “Sleeping next to you would’ve caused me to make out with you.”

“And that’s a bad thing?” Eddie laughed as he changed his shirt, smiling when he caught Steve glancing at the hickeys on his chest.

“It is when our friends are in the room next to us.” He left the couch and took a step closer to him, briefly putting his hand on Eddie’s chest. “You know I can’t resist you.”

“You’re right,” Eddie said. “It’s too risky with everyone around. You’re just too damn hot.”

“Don’t tempt me. Put on a shirt and turn around when I’m changing mine.”

“Alright, alright, no touching. Got it.” He turned around. “Go ahead, get changed, I won’t watch.”

“I’m so happy,” Robin mumbled and closed her eyes. “Keep doing that.”

Vickie was brushing her fingers over Robin’s head again, softly smiling down at her. “I’m glad you’re happy,” she said. “I’m happy too.”

“I’m drunk,” Robin stated and sighed. “I might cry.”

“That’s okay, babe.” Vickie continued stroking her hair with one hand, brushing over her cheek with the other. “I’ve never called you babe before.”

“Mhh, I like it,” Robin decided. “Say it again.”

Vickie chuckled. “Babe. It sounds funny.”

“It does.” Robin giggled. “I thought about it.”

“About what?”

“About why I like you so much,” Robin muttered. “About why I’m not ready to have sex.”

“Yeah?” Vickie brushed Robin’s hair behind her ears. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

“Mhm,” Robin hummed and stayed quiet for a while. “I talked to Nancy about it.”

“Why did you talk to Nancy about it?” Vickie stopped her brushing for a moment and furrowed her brows.

“She was drunk,” Robin said dreamily. “I think I’m just gonna get it over with and then I’ll be okay with it.” She slurred her words a little and held onto Vickie tighter. “It’s not so bad, probably. Jus’ weird.”

“Okay,” Vickie said slowly. “But why didn’t you talk to me about it?” She continued her stroking of Robin’s hair with mixed feelings in her chest.

“I can’t focus,” Robin murmured. “I’m tired. Do you wanna get it over with now?”

“What, sex?”

“Mhm.” Robin tugged at her shirt, pulling her closer.

“I don’t.” Vickie leaned down to kiss her head. “You should sleep. We’ll talk about it tomorrow, yeah?”

“Mhm,” she hummed again. “I’m sleepy. G’night.”

“Good night, Robin.” She continued brushing her hair with her fingers, watching as Robin slowly drifted off into sleep, mumbling inaudible words.

She knew that Robin was hesitant about taking their relationship to the next level, and it wasn’t like she wanted to go there right away. It was new to her, too, dating someone of the same gender, but she knew that if she wanted to make that move, she’d want it to be with Robin. It was fine to her if Robin never wanted to have sex. Robin was worth everything to her, all she wanted was to make her happy.

But the fact that Robin hadn’t talked to her about her worries, but to Nancy, left a bitter taste behind.

Robin woke up from a sour taste in her mouth. Vickie was sleeping peacefully next to her with her arm draped over Robin’s stomach. She carefully slipped away from Vickie’s touch and hurriedly tip-toed to the bathroom, pressing her hand to her mouth, before bending over the toilet and emptying the contents of her stomach.

Exhausted, she sat back and wiped over her move, letting her head fall forward and exhaling slowly. I hate this, God, how I hate this.

She reached to flush the toilet and slowly stood up, steadying herself with a grip on the edge of the sink. “Idiot,” she mumbled to herself and pressed her hand to her stomach. With shaking legs, she made her way to Steve’s room and knocked lightly before entering.

“Nance,” she whispered into the room. “Nance, are you up?”

She heard incomprehensible mumbling come from the bed.

“Nance,” she whispered again. “I feel really sick.”

In the dark, Robin could hardly make out the silhouette of her friend as she swung her legs out of bed. “I’m here,” Nancy mumbled and rubbed her eyes. “I’m up.”

“I just threw up,” Robin whispered to not wake up Jonathan. “I might again. I hate throwing up. And you owe me one.”

“Not drunk anymore?” Nancy put one hand on Robin’s back and led her back to the bathroom, where they sat on the cold tiles. Robin leaned against Nancy’s shoulder and sighed deeply.

“I hate getting drunk,” she mumbled. “I didn’t even drink that much.”

“Lightweight, like Steve said.” Nancy chuckled. “It’s okay, I get drunk quickly too. We can just sit here and wait for the sickness to pass.” She yawned.

“You sound tired.” Robin slowly leaned back until she was laying on the floor. “The floor feels good.”

“I am tired.” Nancy followed her example. “It’s the middle of the night and I’m waiting for you to puke.”

“I hope I won’t have to.” Robin’s hand searched for Nancy’s on the floor and grasped it when she found it. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Ah, still a little drunk.” Nancy chuckled.

“Nah. Maybe. I don’t know. But I am. Glad, I mean.”

Nancy reciprocated the grip on her hand. “Yeah. Me too.”

“Okay,” Robin said and sat up again. “Here I go.” She reached for the toilet bowl and bent over, feeling Nancy hold her hair back as she threw up again. She coughed and spat into the toilet, reaching for the flush again. Nancy’s hand was evenly stroking over her back as she was whispering comforting words to her, but she couldn’t focus on them.

“I’m really tired,” Robin mumbled.

“You should go back to bed.”

“Mhm.” Robin nodded, but didn’t move, holding onto the toilet like it was a life ring.

“Hey, you okay?” Vickie’s voice appeared next to them. “I heard vomiting.” She took over for Nancy’s hand on Robin’s back. “I got it, thank you.”

“Good, good.” Nancy stood up and yawned again. “I’m super tired. Get her some water and make her go to bed again.”

“Did she wake you up?” Vickie asked while stroking over Robin’s back.

“Yeah,” Nancy said. “She came to me and asked me to be with her, because she felt sick. But now that you’re here, I’m going back to bed. Good night.” She yawned again and left the bathroom.

“My head hurts,” Robin mumbled. “Can you carry me to bed?”

“I can’t carry you, but I can help you. Come on.” Vickie slung Robin’s arm around her shoulders and helped her up. “Take it slow,” she whispered to her as they walked back to Robin’s bedroom. “I got you. Okay? You and me.”

Chapter Text

The following days passed quickly, filled with celebrations and phone calls from the Byers’ relatives, leading up to the day of the official graduation ceremony.

Max had decided to stay at home, not being related to anyone graduating and wanting to avoid the stress of dealing with large crowds. She preferred to sit on her bed and listen to music on her Walkman, most of the time thinking about nothing in particular.

Today, she was thinking about ways to mess with Troy Walsh, if needed. If he was going to be a jackass to her when she returned to school, she needed to be ready to be a jackass to him. There was no way she would let a twat like Troy get to her. He already had one up on her by dunking her at the pool, which meant she owed him at least one trip in the hallway. He was most likely only going to be an asshole to her outside of the halls, she figured. Most people felt pity for the poor, disabled, blind girl without a mother. No way was he going to make himself look like the guy who bullied the one person everyone felt bad for. If he was going to be an asshole to her, she’d make sure he’d do it in public, in front of everyone else. It would be the best way to get him to shut up if someone called him out.

All this pity had to be good for something.

At least she was making progress with regaining her independence. She had been practicing reading Braille every day, and though she was still terribly slow at it, she was getting better, and it was starting to be fun. The only thing missing were actual books for her to read instead of the practice stories Joyce had bought for her. The fun of being able to read again didn’t take away from the strain it took on her focus. More often than not she felt exhausted after forty-five minutes of practice.

The house was quieter with everyone at the ceremony. Only El had decided to stay home with Max. She had claimed to be uncomfortable in crowds and she’d celebrate later when they came back, but Max knew that her best friend was only making up reasons to keep her company. Not that she minded it; while she loved some alone-time every now and then, El was the only person who didn’t drain her social energy, who she could spend every day with without growing tired of her.

Halfway through a song, she felt El sitting down next to her on the mattress, and she took off her headphones.

“Sorry,” El said, “I knocked, but you didn’t hear me.”

“You don’t have to knock, it’s your room.” She paused the tape and placed the Walkman on her table. “What’s up?”

“I brought you something.” The crinkling noise of a plastic bag stopped when El took something out of it and held it out for Max to take. “Here,” she said. “I bought it for you.”

Max took the object from her hands and felt the edges of a book. “A book,” she said. “Why?”

“Open it.”

Max did as she was told and let her hands brush over the pages. She stopped abruptly when she realized what the gift really was. “You’re kidding me,” she said with disbelief. “Don’t tell me this is a school book, because that’d be a crappy gift, and I don’t want to decipher Braille just for it to be a math book.”

“It’s not. You can read the title, it’s in Braille too.”

Max closed the book again and felt for the small bumps on the cover. “God, I’m not good enough at this yet.” She traced the first letter again.

“You know this. You’re smart.”

“Okay, um, that’s… that’s a T. And an O. And a K. I remember, because by the time I was learning about K, I thought that I wanted to kill myself.” She felt El nudge her in the shoulder. “Relax, it’s a joke. Um, I. Double L. A. And… M?” She traced over the remaining letters. “That’s a lot of letters, and I’m just going to assume that it spells Mockingbird.”

“Yes,” El said with a smile in her voice. “To kill a Mockingbird. I don’t know what it’s about, and I don’t know what a mockingbird is and why it gets killed, but they only had three books in Braille, so I picked this one.”

“You’re kidding me,” Max said again. “First of all, there are fiction books written in Braille? And you got one for me?”

“It’s not as pretty as the other books,” El admitted. “There is no cover print.”

“I don’t give a shit about cover print.” Max dropped the book in her lap and wrapped her arms around El. “Thank you,” she muttered into the hug. “I’m not an avid reader, but I will read this thing all the way through, even if it takes me months.”

“It’s probably better than your practice sentences,” El said and reciprocated the hug.

“About a million times better, yeah.” She let go of the hug and picked up the book again, holding it to her chest. “I was afraid I’ll only ever get music to entertain myself with now. I’m gonna be the best Braille reader in town.”

“I was thinking we could go to your trailer and get some more of your things later,” El suggested. “You still have some clothes there and… other things.”

“My board,” Max said. “It’s collecting dust by now.” She sighed and grasped the book tighter. “I miss my board.”

“Do you want to get it?”

Max considered for a moment, before turning her head toward El again. “Yeah. Even if I can’t use it, it should be with me.”

“The ceremony will take a while,” El said. “We can go now, if you want.”

Max nodded slightly. “Yeah. Okay. Can you get my wheelchair closer?”

The auditorium of the school was quiet, intently listening to the principal Higgins’ speech. In the sea of black graduation gowns and caps on the other side of the hall, Robin couldn’t make out which ones of the students were Nancy and Jonathan. She, Vickie and Steve had come to watch the ceremony for their friends alongside with their families.

“This year, Hawkins has faced yet another challenge,” the principal’s voice droned over the audience of students and parents, “proving to us that we cannot give up, no matter how many difficulties we have come across in the past couple of years.”

“A challenge,” Robin whispered to Steve, making air quotes with her fingers. “That’s what he calls Hawkins being split in four?”

“The same applies to this year’s graduates of Hawkins High, having paved their way for success and academic achievement by continuing their education despite the obstacles along the way,” the principal continued.

“Real obstacle,” Steve whispered back and nudged her elbow, “dealing with murderers and monsters. What a bummer.”

“Great analogy, too,” Robin muttered.

“Even though the final year has been cut short, our students have graduated with great success. An honorable mention goes out to our student with the highest GPA of an astonishing 4.0, Nancy Wheeler, proving to all of us that determination is not obstructed by having to overcome adversity.”

The crowd politely applauded for Nancy, her parents cheering extra loud for her. Mike, sitting a few rows over with Holly on his lap, only clapped half-heartedly.

“Now, before we hand out the certificates to our graduates, there is one more piece of news to share. As we are all aware, our school’s prom had to be cancelled due to – well, I am sure we all remember the earthquake.”

“Some earthquake,” Robin muttered to Vickie. “Ripping apart a whole city.”

“I am happy to announce that we will be hosting a make up prom next Sunday, open for anyone to join, in the school’s gymnasium. It has been organized by our very own Ms. Kelley.”

Another round of applause and cheering filled the auditorium, someone whistled.

“The certificates will be handed over shortly, but not before honoring those who couldn’t be with us today. While a few of our students have moved away—”

“Or dropped out,” Robin whispered.

“—others have been robbed of the chance to stand on the stage today by the cruel fatalities that have fallen over Hawkins in the past years. Please stand and hold a minute of silence with us for those who couldn’t be here tonight. Chrissy Cunningham. Fred Benson. Jason Carver. Billy Hargrove. Barbara Holland. And Patrick McKinney.”

The crowd rose, standing in eerie silence and bowing their heads. Robin heard a quiet sob coming from the pool of students and glanced over. Someone put their arm around the sobbing graduate, comfortingly holding them.

She slowly leaned closer to Steve. “Eddie would’ve almost been on that list,” she whispered as quietly as she could. “He should’ve graduated this year.”

“So should you,” Steve whispered back. “You’re both alive. Luckily alive dropouts.”

“What do you mean?” Vickie joined their quiet conversation. “Did you almost die, too?”

Robin glanced at Steve with narrowed eyes before leaning closer to Vickie. “I’ll tell you later,” she muttered. “It’s a long story.” Vickie nodded and they reverted to their silence.

“Thank you,” principal Higgins’ said and gestured the audience to sit down again.

As he was handing over certificates, shaking hands and wishing good luck to the graduates, Steve moved closer to Robin. “What are you gonna tell her?” he muttered, careful not to let Vickie hear him. “Are you going to tell her about Vecna?”

“I can hardly tell her that we almost died from a hivemind of vines choking us in an alternate dimension,” Robin responded under her breath. “Or about the Russians threatening to kill us because we figured out a top-secret code. She thinks Eddie almost died in the mall fire.”

“You could say that you rescued him,” Steve suggested. “Make yourself look like a hero.”

“I’ll figure something out.” Robin glanced at Vickie, who was focused on the ceremony. “I just have to keep the lie intact.”

After the ceremony, Nancy ripped herself away from her parents’ hugs and smothering kisses and opened her arms with a wide smile when she noticed Robin hurrying toward her. Robin hugged her with a force that almost made her fall over. “Congratulations!” Robin exclaimed. “Officially, now.”

“Let me see that thing,” Steve said and snatched her certificate out of her hand. “4.0, that’s insane, Nance. Insane.”

“What can I say, I’m just that good,” she said with a laugh. “Robin, let go of me, I can’t breathe.”

“Sorry,” Robin muttered and loosened her grip on Nancy, stepping aside with a bright red face. Steve took her place and wrapped his arms around Nancy briefly. When he separated from her again, he smiled lightly and handed back her certificate.

“I told you,” he said. “That day I came over to study three years ago, I told you that you’d graduate with a perfect GPA.”

“I vaguely remember that.” Nancy smiled at him warmly. “God, I’m just so glad it’s over now. And hey, prom is fun.”

“We could all go,” Steve suggested. “The five of us. And Eddie, if he wanted to. That’d make six.”

“Yeah, we could go as friends and look the best out of everyone,” Robin said and glanced at Vickie. Quietly, she added, “We could go as friends.”

Vickie smiled and nodded lightly. “I’d like that.”

“Um, actually...” Nancy glanced over her shoulder to where Jonathan was being celebrated by his family. “I was thinking of asking Jonathan out. As a date.”

“But he’s leaving soon,” Robin said quickly. “You said you didn’t want another long-distance relationship.”

“I know.” Nancy sighed and smiled as she turned her head back to them. “But we’re so good together. Maybe we just need to give it another shot. It might work out again.” She wasn’t sure if she believed in what she was saying, but being near Jonathan made her feel warm, full of nostalgia, and safe. If Jonathan wasn’t her happily ever after, who would be?

“Go ask him,” Steve encouraged her. “Before someone else snatches him away.”

Nancy nervously pressed her lips together, glanced at Jonathan again and nodded. “Okay. Wish me luck.”

“Good luck!” Vickie shouted as she was walking away.

“Good luck,” Robin muttered.

When Jonathan spotted her, he gently freed himself from Joyce’s grip and took a step toward Nancy. “Congrats,” he said with a smile. “Is it everything you hoped for?”

“What is?”

“The perfect GPA.” He nodded toward the certificate in her hand.

“Oh. Uh, yeah, sure.” She shifted her stance and held onto her wrist with her free hand. “Listen,” she said, “I wanted to ask you if you wanted to go to the make up prom with me. As my date.”

He lowered his head briefly with a smile, then looked back up at her. “I’d love to.”

“Okay.” Nancy’s smile widened. “I can’t wait. Oh, and congrats on your graduation too, obviously.”

She turned her head to look at her friends across the room and showed a short thumbs-up with a grin when she spotted them, before being pulled into a hug by Joyce too.

It was a good day, she decided. Full of warmth, happiness and hope.

Chapter Text

The heat hit Will like a wall when he stepped outside the auditorium to escape the lively chatter between former students. His mom and Hopper were busy talking to Jonathan and Nancy, and even though they likely wouldn’t stay much longer, Will knew that a conversation his mom started could last a while. 

He glanced around, trying to find a bench to sit on when he spotted Mike out of the corner of his eye, sitting cross-legged on the ground with Holly on his lap. He was wearing a white, collared shirt on ripped jeans with chains, which Holly seemed to interpret as toys to play with. 

When Mike spotted him, he raised his hand and waved Will over. “Are you sick of the crowd too?” he asked when Will sat down next to him. 

“Yeah.” Will mirrored his sitting position and took Holly’s hand when she reached out for him. “We won’t stay much longer, though. My mom is just finishing congratulating every single student in there.” 

“I think mine is all over Nancy, or fighting about dinner with my dad.” Mike shrugged. “Could be either. Holly and I were sick of it.” 

“Did your mom make you wear that shirt?” 

“She didn’t just make me, she practically forced it over my head. I’m wearing the jeans in rebellion.” 

Will snickered. “They suit you. Looks like Eddie left an impression while I was gone.” 

“He is pretty cool. And he’s all for rebellious acts.” Mike redirected Holly’s hands from his chains to his own hands, letting her tug on his fingers while she leaned back in his lap, resting her head in the crook of his shoulder. “Holly, I hope you’ll be nothing like Nancy, I hope you’ll act out once in a while.” 

“Crazy how big she’s getting,” Will remarked. “You’re six now, aren’t you?” 

Holly nodded and continued tugging at Mike’s fingers. 

“She’s tired,” he said. “She gets quiet when she’s tired. Ow, don’t pull so hard.” 

“Feels like yesterday when you announced you were getting a baby sibling.” Will thought back to the day Mike had loudly announced to the entirety of third grade that he was not going to be the only boy in his family anymore. Until his parents knew that Holly was going to be a girl, he had firmly believed that he was going to get a brother. “You were so excited for her.” 

“Nancy was even more excited once they told us we were having a sister.” Mike thought for a moment. “She was thirteen, I was eight, about to turn nine, and we were both sick of each other.” 

“I can’t believe that was so long ago.” 

“I can’t believe we’re only fifteen.” Mike glanced at Will with a slight smile on his lips. “We’ll graduate together in three years.” 

“With Lucas, Dustin, El and Max,” Will added. 

“Yeah.” He let his eyes wander over the school building, trailing off in thought. 

“Do you think we’ll all still be friends by then?” Will asked carefully. 

“Of course we will,” Mike stated. “I don’t think there is anything that could destroy our friendship now, after everything.” 

“I just mean, Nancy probably had different friends when she was our age. She’s not friends with them now.” 

“That’s totally different. She practically only had Barb, and they’d still be friends, if—” 

“If only.” 

“She still talks about her all the time. Even if we won’t be friends anymore in three or four years, which I don’t believe could ever happen, we’d still appreciate each other. We’d still have shared memories.” 

“I hope you’re right,” Will muttered. “I can’t imagine my life without you.” 

“We’ll always be friends.” 

Mike met his eyes, and with a short, sinking feeling, Will reminded himself that friends didn’t mean anything other than friends . Mike would never feel the same way about him, and he would always have to deal with the fact that there was nothing in store for him other than platonic relationships. 

To Mike, staying friends meant keeping their childhoods close to their hearts. It meant sticking up for each other and having fun together. 

To Will, it meant suffering through a lifetime of unreciprocated feelings, of his heart being shattered over and over again any time Mike expressed interest in girls. He averted his eyes from Mike and stared at the brick wall. “I’m not sure it’s going to work,” he said slowly without looking at Mike. 

“What do you mean?” 

“The friends thing. Friends forever. It’s great, until I can’t take it anymore.” He kept his eyes fixed on the bricks, feeling his heart beating in his throat as he refused to look at his best friend. 

“But you want to stay friends, don’t you?” 

“Of course I do.” He shook his head in slow-motion. “I don’t want to lose you. But right now, I don’t want you to be my friend forever. For this to work, for me to be able to be near you, you either need to not be my friend or I need to move on, quickly, and that’s been difficult.” 

“But you’ll keep trying.” 

Will felt Mike’s eyes on him. He shifted his glance down to the ground and sighed. “Yeah. I’ll keep trying. There’s nothing else I can do.” 

“I’m sorry.” His hand moved to Will’s back, attempting to comfort him, but he hesitated and retracted again. “I don’t want to make you hurt.” 

“It’s not your fault.” 

“Kind of is.” 

“Yeah.” Will chuckled lightly. “Yeah, it is.” He buried his face in his hands for a second before finally turning to face Mike again. “If anything, I should be sorry for making things awkward with us. And I’m sorry for lying about the painting. I don’t think I’ve apologized for that yet.” 

“It’s fine.” Mike sighed. “It got me out of my wallowing. And El’s right, she and I are better as friends. I guess I just didn’t want to see it.” 

“Do you think we’ll ever be normal again? I hate this awkwardness between us.” 

“It doesn’t have to be awkward,” Mike said. “You’re still my best friend. That won’t change. Even if you see me… differently. Maybe I won’t feel the same way about you, but we’re still the same people we used to be. Just with more scars. And I’m glad you told me because now I can try to help you move on.” 

Will furrowed his brows and looked at him, desperately trying to slow his heart rate. “What do you mean?” 

“Like, if you need me to give you space, you can just tell me that, and I’ll know why, and I won’t be offended. I’ll make up an explanation for Dustin and Lucas, so they won’t know. Or if you need to talk about it, I can listen to it.” 

“No offense, but I’d rather talk to anyone else about it.” 

Mike chuckled lightly. “Yeah. That’s fair. My point is that I’m not giving up on us any time soon. We’re in this together. Crazy together, remember?” 

“ Remember? It’s like my motto.” Will wiped over his eyes, hoping that Mike hadn’t noticed the tears forming.  

When the doors to the school opened, Will stood up from the ground. “I should get going,” he said. “My mom will probably make us celebrate some more.” 

“Yeah,” Mike said, looking up at him. “See you soon.”

The evening was spent with ice cream and a movie as background noise at the apartment. After the ceremony, Nancy had left with her family, throwing reciprocated glances at Jonathan as she was leaving. Even though Robin had asked her to join them with ice cream and movies, she had told her that she had promised her parents to spend the evening with them. 

“I miss hot cocoa,” Robin groaned and leaned against Vickie’s shoulder. “Why can’t it be Halloween already?” 

In Robin’s opinion, fall was the best season out of all of them. Halloween was just the perfect day, candy and costumes and colorful leaves, there was nothing quite like it. The first crisp fall day after a hot and dreary summer was the best day in the entire year, because it was usually the day she got to wear her favorite flannel again after letting it collect dust in the closet for three to four months. 

“It’ll be Halloween quicker than you know,” Steve said and joined them on the couch with a refilled glass of white wine. “And then you’ll complain about how cold and rainy it is.” 

Robin shrugged. “Complaining is fun. And it gets boring to be annoyed by you all the time, I need to change it up every once in a while.” 

“I love this,” Vickie threw in. “The two of you, I mean. I always wanted a friendship like that.” 

“Aw.” Robin rested her head on Vickie’s shoulder. “Now you have us. To enjoy our mockery of each other.” 

“It’s great,” Steve said. “It was even greater when we first met.” 

“Ugh.” Robin sat up straighter again and laughed. “It was terrible! Imagine my disappointment when I walked into the first day of my job, full of hope, full of happiness, just to be greeted by Steve.” 

“Imagine my disappointment when I didn’t get to work with someone as cool as me,” Steve replied with a sarcastic grin. “You’ve been bullying me since Day One.” 

“And still, you fell in love with me,” Robin said and clutched her heart dramatically.  

“That was very brief.” 

“You were in love with her?” Vickie asked surprised. 

“Briefly. Very, very briefly.” 

“He moved on the second I told him I was gay.” Robin chuckled. “Can you blame him, though? I’m awesome.” 

Vickie laughed with her. “I totally get it.” She pressed a kiss to Robin’s hand and smiled. “I’d fall for a coworker like that too.” 

“I’m just irresistible.” She playfully smacked Steve’s arm. “Hey Steve, what does it feel like to know that I pull more girls than you do?” 

“Shut it, Birdie.” 

“Maybe I’m wrong,” Robin continued. “You have shown up with a suspicious amount of hickeys recently. Unless—” 

“No unless,” he interrupted her. “I still pull more girls than you do, I still make out with girls, so we’re even.” 

“Okay, okay.” Robin grinned slightly. “We’re even.” 

Vickie closed her fingers around Robin’s hand and looked at her thoughtfully. “Hey, what did you mean earlier when you said you’re luckily alive?” 

Robin glanced at Steve, trying to convey something along the lines of Don’t tell her the truth with her eyes, before clearing her throat awkwardly and looking back at Vickie. “Did I – uh, did I say that?” 

“Steve did,” Vickie said. “And you said you’d tell me later. Now is later, so, what happened?” She moved closer to Robin and smiled encouragingly, curiosity sparkling in her eyes. 

“It was, uh, the earthquake,” Robin lied. “You remember all the giant holes in the ground.” She paused and looked at Steve. 

“Robin was nearby one of them when it happened,” Steve explained quickly. “The asphalt ripped open, right next to her. Could’ve fallen in.” 

“Yeah.” Robin exhaled with relief. “I almost did. I have terrible balance. I’m lucky someone grabbed me and pulled me away.” She felt Steve’s eyes on her, warm yet concerned, as he slowly put his hand over hers. 

Vickie narrowed her eyes slightly, and Robin wondered if she bought her lie. She hated having to lie to her girlfriend, but what other alternative was there? If she told her the truth, Vickie would probably declare her crazy and leave her, possibly telling the story to everyone else to make fun of her. 

Deep down, Robin knew that Vickie wasn’t like that. She’d never make fun of her, she’d never accuse her of lying, but it wasn’t difficult to read the hint of disbelief in her face. She couldn’t blame her, Robin figured, after all, she was terrible at lying. 

Keeping secrets was easy. Covering them up, not so much.

Chapter Text

“I told them you’re a girl.” Steve wasn’t sure why he had said it. The sweet trail of kisses on his skin had turned his brain into mush, and he had wanted to say something, and that was what came out. 

Eddie stopped kissing Steve’s neck and looked at him. “What?” 

“Robin and Vickie, I told them you’re a girl.” 

“Mhh, I’m pretty sure they saw right through you.” Eddie grinned. “They both know I’m a guy.” 

“Well, I didn’t say that you’re a girl.” Steve moved away from Eddie’s warm grip on his neck and adjusted the pillow behind his back. “The others are suspicious of the hickeys you gave me. So, I told them I was making out with girls. Well, women.” 

Eddie sat back and looked at him with clueless eyes. “Cool. Not sure how that’s a relevant story while I’m giving you your next hickey.” 

“It’s not.” Steve shrugged. “But we did enter this… thing as friends. So, I’ll still treat you like my friend. I’ll still tell you stuff about my life.” 

“So, we’re friends?” Eddie asked with a raised brow.  

“Friends who kiss occasionally.” 

“I thought we were in more of a making-out-buddies type situation.” 

“I definitely still see you as my friend.” 

“Friends with benefits, then,” Eddie decided. “We’re friends, you can still tell me about the girls you conquer, and when nobody’s around we make out.” 

Steve thought and nodded. “Yeah. That’s what we have going on.”  

“Cool, cool.” He leaned down again, continuing to pepper Steve’s neck with kisses. 

“Not that I’m conquering any girls.” 

Eddie stopped, sighed, and sat back up. “Alright, is there anything you need to get off your chest?” 

“You mean other than my shirt?” 

“Steve.”  

“I’m okay with this.” 

“I’m not.” Eddie stood up from the couch and opened the magnet-covered fridge. He grabbed two cans of beers and tossed one over to Steve, opening his own with a sizzling sound. “Tell me.” 

“Tell you what?” Steve sat up straighter and opened his beer. “I’m fine.” 

“You just interrupted my kisses to tell me the others think you’re making out with girls.” Eddie plopped down on the couch again and leaned his arm over the backrest, bringing the beer to his lips. “Why would you do that if not out of some kind of anxiety about this whole situation?” 

“I didn’t realize being friends with benefits included a personal therapist,” Steve said sarcastically. 

“I want this to work. Even if it’s not a relationship, even if we haven’t gone beyond kissing and touching yet, it’s still something intimate. It only works with communication, so if something is bothering you, tell me.” 

“Nothing is bothering me, Eds. Seriously.” 

“Then what was the point of that story?” Eddie placed his opened beer on the coffee table.  

“I don’t understand why it bothers you this much. I shouldn’t have said anything.” 

“You shouldn’t have.” 

“Why?” Steve challenged Eddie with his eyes. “What’s so wrong with claiming I make out with girls?” He tried to identify the look drawn all over Eddie’s face, but he couldn’t figure out why he was so upset. 

“You’re not making out with girls,” Eddie said with a tense voice. “You’re making out with me.” 

“And we agreed to keep that a secret, I am keeping it a secret.” 

“No, you’re not. You’re keeping one thing a secret, but it’s not me.” 

“What on earth are you talking about?” Steve’s body felt weirdly tense out of a sudden as he tried to understand the angry look on Eddie’s face. How did they get here? 

“I understand that you don’t wanna question your sexuality,” Eddie said with a strain in his voice, trying to keep it level despite his clear anger. “Not everyone needs a label, that’s fine, but you’re not just keeping me a secret, you’re keeping yourself a secret. And in front of Vickie and Robin, come on. They’re the only two people you could tell you’re not kissing girls.” 

“Do you want me to tell them I’m kissing you? The whole point of this was —” 

“I want you tell them you’re kissing men, not women!” Eddie raked a hand through his hair and stood up, leaning on the kitchen counter and glaring.  

Steve followed him with a distance. “You can’t possibly expect me to do that.” 

“Of course I don’t expect you to do that, you ass.” He crossed his arms defensively. 

“Then, for the love of God, spell it out for me, because I have no idea what you’re upset about.” 

“I’m upset because I’m nothing more to you than one of the girls you hit on!” Eddie pressed his lips together and turned his head away. He sighed and began fidgeting with his rings. “I’m the first guy you ever made out with. I want you to be okay with the fact that I’m not one of your girls, even if I’m just another number, I’m something else, at least I should be!” 

Steve took a step closer toward the counter. “How big of a player do you think I am?” 

“Uh, you had a reputation, King Steve.” 

“Years ago.” 

“Fuck that, you could still pull anyone you wanted.” 

“No reason for that to make you so mad.” Steve crossed his arms as well, mirroring Eddie’s stance.  

“For crying out loud, Steve, I’m fucking in love with you, and you know it. Of course it bothers me!” 

“You knew —” 

“I did, yeah, I knew what I was getting into when you suggested this horrible idea, it’s my own fault! I’m just a gay idiot, in love with the straight jock.” 

“ Me?! You had that idea! We were both involved in making this choice, and you said you’d be okay with it!” 

“I was obviously lying, come on, how dense are you?” Eddie groaned and brushed past Steve to collect the cans on the table. He opened the refrigerator with force and placed them back inside, seemingly trying to do anything but look at Steve. 

“You’re being completely irrational.” 

“You’re being a complete asshole. You have no regards for my feelings. I still have them, even if I don’t show’em!” 

“Oh, grow up.” Steve rolled his eyes. “You’re old enough to realize the consequences of your actions, this is one of them, deal with it.” 

“Fuck you, honestly, Steve, fuck you.” 

“Fuck you.” 

They glared at each other with crossed arms and a cold distance between them. Steve’s heart was beating in his throat, his blood was boiling and fuck, Eddie was hot when he was angry. 

Without another thought crossing his mind, Steve pulled Eddie into a bruising kiss, hungry for his lips, and he felt Eddie’s fingers digging into his sides. 

Eddie held him tighter, took control of their stance and slammed Steve against the fridge door, eliciting a low gasp from him. His left hand moved to Steve’s neck, holding firmly and kissing him deeper. 

Between frantic, heavy kissing, Steve slid his hands under Eddie’s shirt, feeling for the scars on his stomach and chest. He broke their kiss only to pull Eddie’s shirt over his head and searching for contact again. The shirt was tossed aside carelessly as Steve slid his fingers through the loops of Eddie’s ripped jeans. Eddie’s hand slowly moved to the roots of Steve’s hair, where it lingered for a second as he broke contact, panting.  

“You called me Eds earlier,” he breathed. 

“Uh-huh.” 

“Do it again,” he whispered against Steve’s lips, moving his fingers slightly upward. 

Steve gazed at him through heavy lids, inching closer with his lips, the desire to kiss Eddie again never leaving him. “You’re hot when you’re angry, Eds.” 

He wanted to say more, You make me want you, and I wish we had this idea earlier, but he couldn’t keep talking when Eddie dove in for the next kiss, demanding, desiring; his hand finally making its way into Steve’s hair, tugging. Hard. 

Steve let him, pushing his hands against Eddie’s chest to make him stumble backward, never separating from their kiss. Eddie’s waist hit the counter, arching backwards and pulling Steve with him to kiss him deeper. 

Without realizing what he was doing, Steve moved his hands down to Eddie’s thighs, grabbing him and lifting him up in one swift movement. 

“Christ,” Eddie murmured into their kiss, “you’re strong as fuck.” 

“You’re not very heavy,” Steve replied with a cheeky grin. 

Eddie’s hands were on his cheeks, kissing him one more time before parting, keeping his face close and looking deep into Steve’s eyes. “Bedroom?” he asked with a quiet pant. 

“Bedroom.” 

“Carry me.” 

“Can I grab your ass while I’m at it?” 

“Like you even have to ask.” 

With Eddie’s legs wrapped around his waist, Steve carried Eddie to his bedroom, trying to find his way without seeing where he was going with Eddie blocking his view and distracting him with kisses. He almost fell twice, but when he made it to the bed, he sat Eddie down on it, sinking down with him. 

Eddie helped him get rid of his shirt, his lips leaving Steve’s, moving to his neck and shoulder instead. It was a heady feeling as Steve ran his hands through Eddie’s tangled hair, letting him kiss and bite on his skin wherever he wanted to. 

“What were we fighting about?” he mumbled distractedly. 

“Who gives a shit?” Eddie said and moved on to Steve’s chest, leaving wet trails over the scars adorning his skin, his hands moving downwards. “Just take off your pants.” 

“I’ve never done this before.” 

Eddie lifted his head with a slight grin on his face. “King Steve has never had sex?” 

Steve smacked his arm and laughed. “You know what I mean.” 

“If you want to stop,” Eddie whispered, his finger drawing circles on Steve’s chest, “just tell me. I’ll stop.” 

Steve glanced down at Eddie’s other hand, nearing the seam of his jeans without crossing the border. “No,” he breathed, “don’t stop.” He pulled him into a short kiss again, when they parted, he held Eddie’s face close. “Just… guide me through it.” 

“Just the major stuff or everything?” 

“Everything.” 

“Alright.” Eddie kissed him again, softly this time, while his hands sauntered downwards. “I’m going to take off your jeans, alright?” 

Steve nodded, his hands never leaving Eddie’s hair as he let his head fall back into the pillow, hazy and yearning. 

“If you’re uncomfortable at any point,” Eddie said and unbuttoned his jeans, “I want you to tell me. Got it?” 

“Mhm.” Steve closed his eyes for a second until he realized Eddie had stopped. “Eds?” He opened his eyes again, finding Eddie leaning closer to him, his hand remaining where he had left it. 

“Tell me,” Eddie said. “I want verbal confirmation. I want to make sure you’re in for it.” 

“I’m in,” Steve said and stretched his neck to kiss Eddie again. “God, Eds, I’m so in.” 

“Tell me if you need me to stop. Got it?” 

“Yeah,” Steve breathed. “Got it.” 

“We’ll take it slow,” Eddie said and began kissing his neck again, letting off briefly to help Steve kick off his jeans. “It’s okay to say No, and it’s okay to change your mind at any point.” 

“Got it,” Steve said again. “Are we missing music?” 

“Oh, you’re the romantic type,” Eddie said and chuckled. “I don’t have any music, unless you want to listen to Master of Puppets.” 

“I’m good. You’re not the romantic type?” 

“Do I look like that?” Eddie asked dryly. “It’s fine, Stevie, we’re just going to go slow today. Anything else we can discuss another time.” 

“Okay.” Steve moved his hands over Eddie’s arms, following his biceps. “Keep going now.” 

Eddie hesitated briefly. “Is this a bad idea?” 

“A terrible one.” 

“We’re good at making those.” 

“We really are.” 

Eddie kissed him another time, and then another, until Steve’s mind was swimming, caught up in the evening they’d had. 

“I’m gonna put my hand into your boxers now,” Eddie said, and Steve nodded. 

As Steve felt the touch move from his stomach to under the waistband, he did the same thing that got him into this situation. Saying the first thing that came to his heady mind. “Are you still mad?” 

Eddie looked up again, a blank look on his face. “Is that really what you want to talk about right now? While my hand is near your dick?” 

Steve shook his head. “No. Kiss me, touch me, whatever.” 

“Fuck you.” Eddie chuckled. 

“Yeah. Yeah, do that.”

Chapter Text

Eddie was woken up by a loud knock on the door. He startled out of sleep, pushing his hair out of his eyes and blindly reaching for the light switch. 

He had no idea what time it was. The blinds in his bedroom were rarely opened, and he refused to change that. 

The knocking began to come closer to pounding as Eddie pushed his blanket out of the way, almost falling over Steve next to him when he got up. For a moment, he remained where he was, looking at Steve in the white light from his lamp, sleeping with a quiet snore in what looked like the most uncomfortable position to sleep in. 

Eddie didn’t understand how someone like Steve had come to the decision to sleep with Eddie. To even follow his attraction, albeit purely physical. Most presumably straight guys would shake off the feeling, avert their eyes and pursue the next-best woman.  

Not Steve. He had followed through, he had ignored how terrible of an idea this whole situation was, and he hadn’t been able to keep his hands off Eddie. Not that he minded, at all. 

Eddie’s focus was brought back by the repetitive banging on his door, never letting off. “Eddie!” someone shouted from outside. “I know you’re in there, open up!” 

Why exactly had he befriended a bunch of freshmen again? 

 He opened the door widely, blinded by the sudden, bright sunlight, and was met by Dustin’s impatient face, stopping his hand mid-knocking. “Finally,” he said. “You could’ve at least put on some pants.” Dustin pushed past him into the trailer and plopped down on the couch. 

Eddie looked down on himself, realizing he was only wearing his underwear, not having bothered to put on some actual pants before falling asleep with Steve next to him. He closed the door again and grabbed a pair of sweatpants that were hanging over the couch, pulling them over his legs. 

“You’re lucky I was wearing anything at all,” he said dryly. “You woke me up. Why did you wake me up?” 

“We want to play DND. And we want you to be our DM.” Dustin placed his feet on the coffee table, leaning back in the couch. He scanned the room for a moment before sitting up straighter again. “Why’s your shirt on the floor?” 

“Because I’m messy.” Eddie bent down to pick up the shirt Steve had carelessly tossed aside yesterday and pulled it over his head. 

“It smells weird in here.” 

“It always smells weird in here.” 

“Because you never open the windows, yeah.” Dustin narrowed his eyes. “This is different, it smells familiar. Do you use body spray?” 

“I do not.” Eddie opened the fridge to grab milk for cereal, his stomach growling loudly, but he quickly closed it again when the two half-full beer cans from yesterday seemed to stare at him teasingly. “Why do you want me to be your DM? I haven’t played in three months.” 

“You’re the best there is. And Will wants to play again, so I said I’d ask you. Why are you acting so weird?” Dustin swung his feet down the table and followed Eddie to the small kitchen, opening the fridge again. Eddie watched as Dustin reach inside, picking up the beer cans one after the other, swaying them and playing them back down. “Two half-empty cans,” he said. 

“Quite the detective. You should put your counting skills on your resumé,” Eddie said. 

Dustin raised his hand slightly, pointing at Eddie with narrowed eyes. “You’re hiding something.” 

“Where’d you get that idea from?” 

“Your trailer smells like body spray you don’t use, you’d never leave a beer half empty before opening the next one, and your clothes are scattered over the floor.” 

“So? You got me, I’m a slob.” 

“No. You’re not.” Dustin glanced to the half-open bedroom door, causing Eddie to instinctively move in front of it to block his view. “Someone’s in there,” Dustin said. 

“I don’t see how that’s any of your business.” Eddie pulled the door closed behind him. “I’ll get a campaign running for you, I’ll even be your DM, no problem. Is that all?” 

“It was all when I came here, but now there’s more.” 

“Why do you care who’s in my bedroom?” 

“Because the body spray smells familiar.” Dustin scrunched his nose, trying to get past Eddie. 

Eddie had never made it a secret that he was gay. He hadn’t shouted it from the rooftops or even had a coming out to anyone, but he had never hidden it. If anyone asked him, he had no problem telling people that it was guys he liked to make out with and that girls simply weren’t that appealing to him. 

Despite that, he wasn’t sure if Dustin knew. He wasn’t sure if any of the kids knew, or how they’d react if they found out. Even worse, how they’d react when Dustin found out it was Steve sleeping in his bed.  

He couldn’t hear any movement in his room, had no idea if Steve was awake and aware of Dustin’s surprise visit and was climbing out the window by now, or if he was blissfully dreaming without a clue that he was about to be found out. 

“Dustin, back off.” Eddie pushed him away from the door, holding onto the handle to stop him from getting to it. “Good for you that you’re some kind of Sherlock Holmes, but this is none of your business. Okay?” He held out his hand as if Dustin was some kind of animal trying to be kept at bay. 

Dustin’s eyes moved back and forth between Eddie’s face and the door handle. “Okay,” he said finally with hands raised in retaliation. “None of my business. But you can’t stop me from finding out.” 

“Henderson, I swear to God –” 

“I’m just that smart,” Dustin said confidently. “I’ll figure it out without trying to.” 

“Stop being so cocky,” Eddie said. “This isn’t about me; I don’t give a shit if anyone knows who I’m sleeping with. This is about whoever is behind that door, you can’t go around digging in other people’s business. It’s not just mine, it involves two people, and you need to back off if you don’t know who you’re trying to find out. Alright?” 

“Okay, fine.” Dustin huffed, curiously keeping his eyes on the door. “I won’t snoop.” 

“Good. Campaign on Sunday?” 

“The make-up prom for your classmates is this Sunday,” Dustin said. “You’re not going?” 

“Nah. Not my scene.” Not having to go to prom was one of the many perks of having dropped out of school. These events never played the music Eddie liked, and he would be expected to dress up in a tuxedo or something hideous like that, and he was not interested. “Sunday works for you?” 

“It should,” Dustin said and shrugged. “Mike’s house, then. We always play there.” 

“I’ll be there.” He gestured Dustin toward the exit without leaving the bedroom door unattended. “Leave. I’m going back to bed.”

Wanting to talk to Robin in the early morning seemed to become a habit for Nancy. Although she had slept through the night for once, she found herself at the apartment’s doorstep at seven in the morning, hesitating to ring the doorbell.  

The decision to ask Jonathan out on a date seemed insane to her now, and she wanted nothing more than to be told my Robin that she wasn’t crazy and that it was worth another shot, but just as she finally convinced herself to ring the bell, the door opened in front of her. 

“Oh, thank God you’re here,” Robin said while blindly putting on her left earring. She was wearing the red shirt of her work uniform, a bag slung over her shoulder, and she looked like she had just fallen out of bed. “I’m late. I don’t know where Steve is, and I was about to walk to work. Would you drive me?” 

“Um, sure.” Nancy followed her down the stairs. “Work at seven?” 

“Seven thirty. They’re doing some early showings,” Robin explained and held the front door open for Nancy, catching up with her on the way to the car. “And we have to do some other stuff before it opens. Prepping, you know. Well, we’re supposed to. Now I guess I’m doing it if Steve doesn’t show up there.” 

“Where is he?” Nancy opened the car door, getting behind the wheel as Robin joined her in the passenger seat. She started the engine as Robin began applying mascara in the rearview mirror. 

“That’s the big question,” she replied. “Probably making out with someone.” 

“Don’t you know who it is? You guys tell each other everything.” 

Robin shrugged and dropped the mascara in her bag. “Not this thing, apparently. I have my suspicions, but he keeps denying it, and I hope he’s not lying to me because if I’m right, he’s been making some bad choices.” 

“Hm.” Nancy thoughtfully tapped the steering wheel. “I didn’t think it was possible for you to keep secrets from each other.” 

“Neither did I.” Robin pressed her lips together and leaned back in the seat with a sigh. “Uncharted territory for both of us.” She turned her head to look at Nancy, who kept her eyes on the road. “Why did you come over?” 

“Oh,” Nancy said. “I just wanted to get some input on something.” 

“You have about five minutes to do that before we get to the cinema,” Robin said with a glance to her watch. “Shoot.” 

Nancy cleared her throat awkwardly, keeping quiet for a few seconds before she chose to go through with her decision of talking to Robin about it. “I’m reconsidering my decision to ask Jonathan out,” she said. “For the prom, I mean. I wanna go out with him, there’s so much left unsaid between us, and I can’t shake the feeling that we’re not done yet. But it seems like a bad idea, I mean, what if it all goes up in flames again? We didn’t break up for no reason, I don’t want to do long distance, he doesn’t either, but I just can’t stop thinking about him. I’m not insane for asking him out, right?” She glanced at Robin before putting her focus back on the road. She knew she wasn’t really asking for an opinion, she was asking for reassurance, and she assumed that Robin knew that and would tell her to date Jonathan again. 

“You’re a little insane for asking him out,” Robin said instead.  

“You’re supposed to tell me to follow my heart.” 

“I don’t do supposed to. If I did, I’d have graduated with you.” 

“So, you think it’s a bad idea?” 

“Atrocious,” Robin said. “Not as bad as the idea Steve is probably having right now. But bad. It’ll only end up with both of you hurt. You don’t need to use those last few days of him being here to lust after him, you need to use them to move on.” 

“I’m not lusting,” Nancy said, feeling her head turning redder. “I love him.” 

“Do you? Or are you feeling lonely?” 

“I—” 

“Wrong answer, Nance, you’re feeling lonely, that’s all that is. Don’t make this mistake, don’t hurt yourself.” The warmth in Robin’s eyes seemed to be mixed with something else, something Nancy couldn’t identify. 

“I know,” she said quietly. “You’re right. It’s a bad idea.” 

“I get it, though,” Robin said. “You’ve been dating a long time. But it doesn’t seem like you actually want to date him, you want to date the idea of him because he’s comfortable and familiar. Once he moves away, it’ll be stressful again. And once you move to Massachusetts, you’ll be on opposite sides of the countries. You’ll be in different time zones. It’s insane.” 

“So, you think we shouldn’t go to prom together?” 

“I think you should go as friends, with all of us, without any expectations. Take off the pressure, you know?” 

Nancy sighed as she pulled into the parking lot of the cinema. “Yeah. Maybe I will.” 

Robin unbuckled her seatbelt and threw another glance at Nancy before opening the door. “You’ll be fine,” she said. “You’ll move on.” She let her eyes wander over the parking lot and sighed. “Steve’s car is not here. I’m gonna kick his ass later.” 

Chapter Text

El couldn’t stop staring.

She didn’t understand why, she barely understood what it was that she was feeling whenever the sunlight hit Max’s hair just right, causing it to shimmer in a bright red, but for days now, she hadn’t been able to stop staring at her best friend.

Maybe it was the upcoming beginning of the new school year that made everyone, but especially her, nervous. The worry about facing bullies again grew with every day, and the only person who seemed to bring light into her life was Max. So, maybe, it was just that, maybe this feeling would fade when she started school again and everything would be okay. Maybe it was the slow acceptance of her life beginning to be normal. No more monsters, no more labs, no more death. Maybe it was simply that; an understanding that life didn’t end at 14.

Or maybe; maybe Mike hadn’t been completely off-base with his assumption.

El knocked lightly on her brothers’ door, waiting for Will to call her inside. When she opened the door slightly, she found him with his back to the door, hunched over the table, painting something. “Is Jonathan here?” she asked.

“I think he’s out with Nancy,” Will replied and put his paintbrush aside. “What’s up?”

El closed the door behind her, not wanting anyone to overhear what she had to say. “I need advice,” she said and sat down on Will’s bed, holding onto a pillow for support.

“I’m listening.”

“You’ve had a crush on Mike for a while, right?”

“Right.”

She noticed the blush spreading across his face and quickly kept talking to avoid making him feel more awkward about it. “What does it feel like to have a crush?”

“You should know, you had one on him too.” Will crossed one leg over the other and leaned against the backrest of the chair.

“I don’t know if I did,” El admitted with downcast eyes. “Maybe. But I don’t know.”

“Do you think you have one now?”

She looked up at him and clutched the pillow tighter. “Maybe.”

“Oh.” Will averted his eyes from her and cleared his throat. “I think he still likes you, so, you might still have a shot.”

“Not on Mike,” El said quickly. “On Max.”

“Max? Our Max?”

“Yes. I don’t know if I do.” She let herself fall onto her back and pressed the pillow to her face. “I don’t like not knowing.”

She felt the mattress dent next to her as Will sat down with her, taking the pillow away from her face and putting it back in her hands instead. “Don’t suffocate yourself,” he said. “Would you be okay with having a crush on Max?”

El shifted her eyes to him with slightly raised eyebrows. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Because you’re both girls.”

“You and Mike are both boys.”

“Sometimes I forget you grew up sheltered from stereotypes.” Will smiled feebly and grabbed a pillow for himself, holding onto it for support as he kept talking. “Having a crush is one thing, but having a crush on someone of the same gender is completely different.”

El propped herself up on her elbows, a worrying look spreading across her face. “But why?”

“I don’t know. It just is. People don’t like it. You know how Nancy and Jonathan get to go out together and act like a couple in public? If Mike and I suddenly were to be together, that could never happen.” A shadow fell across his face. “Same with you and Max. Maybe it’s the greatest thing ever to love someone of your gender, I don’t know. But you could never be public about it, at least not without judgement. I’ve been bullied my whole life, not just for being nerdy, but for being... this, I can’t even say it.”

“I don’t want to be bullied again,” El said quietly. Dealing with Angela and her posse had been hard enough, and all that just because she was quiet and slightly different from the others. “You think it’s wrong if I have a crush on Max?”

Will shook his head. “No. It’s not wrong. I always thought it was, because I’ve been told my whole life that it is, but now I don’t think so anymore. But other people will think it’s wrong. All I’m saying is that you should be careful about it. You can’t tell this to just anyone, you need to figure out who’s safe first.”

“I don’t want anyone to know anyways,” El decided. “Not while I’m not sure what I feel.”

“Maybe we can find out,” Will suggested and stood up, starting to rummage around in the drawers of his desk. “When I wasn’t sure about my feelings for Mike, I did a bunch of these stupid quizzes in women’s magazines that are supposed to tell you if you have a crush or not.”

“Does that work?” El asked skeptically.

He shrugged. “Maybe. Ah, here.” He pulled out a piece of paper that looked like it was ripped out of a magazine and held it up. “I stole that.” With the paper and a pencil in hand, he sat back down with El, cross-legged on the mattress. “Okay, first question, do you ever daydream about her?”

El thought for a moment. She wasn’t sure what constituted as daydreaming, but she did think about Max a lot. “I don’t know,” she said. “I think about her sometimes. And I always want to be near her.”

“I’m going to check that as ‘Yes’,” Will said and checked a box. “In an ideal world, where do you see yourself with her? As friends, in a relationship or casually dating?”

“Um. I don’t know. Friends?” Picturing herself with Max as anything else seemed strange, and best friends thought about each other like this all the time anyway, she assumed.

“You don’t sound sure. But okay. If she were to invite you out, would you want to go with her?”

“Yes,” El said immediately. “I never say No to her.”

“What’s your gut reaction to her being close to other people? Let’s rephrase that,” Will said and thought for a moment. “How do you feel when you imagine her dating Lucas again?”

“My chest hurts,” El said after thinking about it for a moment. “And I can’t imagine her dating Lucas again because she doesn’t want that.”

“Jealousy, then,” Will remarked. “If you’re in an uncomfortable situation, do you wish for her to be with you?”

“Max always knows how to get me through that,” El said. “Even in California. I could always call her about things.”

“Alright.” He checked another box. “How often do you mention her to your friends? Oh, that’s easy, I’ll check that for you. Constantly. Have you ever found yourself staring at her?”

El felt the blood rush to her cheeks and tried to force herself to keep it down. “Sometimes,” she mumbled.

“A lot, you mean?”

“Sometimes,” El insisted. “I like looking at her, she’s pretty.”

Will noted down some things and looked up at El. “Pretty obvious, I’d say.”

“Crush?”

“Definitely.” Will joined her in lying down on the bed and crossed his hands over his chest, turning his head to face her. “It doesn’t have to be bad,” he said. “It sucks to have a crush on your best friend. That’s the worst part. But we can vent to each other.”

“Yeah.” El sighed. “I think I’ve liked her for a while.”

“Why the sudden realization?”

“Mike said something,” El said quietly. “When we were playing Monopoly. He said he thinks I have a crush on her.”

“And it hasn’t left your mind since?”

She shook her head. “It’s like he superglued my thoughts to her.”

“Maybe it’s just temporary,” Will suggested. “Maybe you’ll be over it soon.”

“I hope so,” she agreed, a heavy feeling falling over her heart. “I don’t like this.”

“You’ll be okay,” Will attempted to reassure her. “I always thought there was nobody like me. This is good.”

“Are there more people like us?”

“There are. Not a lot of them, I think, but we’re not the odd ones out. Not for this, anyway.”

El stared at the ceiling for a while, letting her brother’s words echo through her mind. “How do I know who’s safe and who isn’t?”

“Lucky estimates and overhearing conversations,” he said. “Robin is safe. She said Steve is safe too, and I think Eddie is too.”

“Family is always safe, right?”

He hesitated. “Not always. Jonathan is. I haven’t talked to mom about it, and I’m never telling Hopper.”

El chewed the inside of her cheeks in thought. “He has to be safe too.”

“For our sake, I hope he is. I don’t think my dad is.” He glanced at El, who shot him a worried look. “Be careful with this.”

“What if Max isn’t safe?”

“That’d be the worst. But I can’t imagine that. She doesn’t really care about stuff like that.”

El put the pillow in her face again and held it down. “I’ll suffocate myself now,” she groaned frustratedly.

“I’ll join you.” Will pressed the other pillow to his face, remaining like that until he heard El move again.

“Do you think we’ll be okay in school?” she asked, fidgeting with her hands as she kept her eyes on the ceiling.

“We’ll be better than in Cali. We have friends here.”

“What about the bullies?” She thought back to the day at the pool, about the fear that had frozen her in place when Troy pushed Max underwater. She wasn’t afraid of him; but she was far from being confident enough to shrug off bullies.

“You mean Troy?” Will asked. “He’s got more reason to be scared of you. You just gotta remind him that you’ve met before.” He chuckled in memory. “Mike told me all about what you did at the cliff.”

“That was a long time ago,” El remembered. “And you said I shouldn’t use my powers in public.”

He shrugged with a smile. “If it’s to scare off Troy, I’m okay with it. I promise you, you’ll have no problems at Hawkins High. I’ll be the one with the issues. Zombie boy returns,” he said with a dramatic gesture.

“Zombie boy?”

“Did I never tell you about that? They called me that after I ‘returned from the dead’,” he said with air quotes. “I don’t even know if they came up with a new nickname when we moved, but if they did, I’ll hear it now that I’m back.”

“I’ll break Troy’s arm again,” El stated confidently. “And anyone else’s who calls you names.”

Will laughed. “You gotta dial down the violence. You’ll end up expelled.”

“Worth it.”

He raised his fist slightly. “Zombie boy and supergirl?”

“Zombie boy and supergirl.” She grinned with relief and bumped her fist against his. “Us against the world.”

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

Sunday rolled around quickly, and Will showed up on the Wheeler’s doorstep an hour earlier than everyone else. He was excited to finally get to play his favorite game with his best friends again, and had decided to head over early to help set up.

Eddie had organized the campaign, according to Dustin, but at the very least he could offer all the snacks in his backpack when Eddie was acting as their DM. He didn’t mind not being the one to organize everything, he was excited to see what Eddie could do. Getting a reputation as a satanist cult-leader for organizing a D&D game must mean that he was damn good at it.

As he was spreading the snacks on the side table, his eyes fell to a blue binder shoved into a cabinet, peeking out just enough to evoke curiosity in Will. He pulled it out, surprised by how heavy it weighed in his hands, and flipped to the first page.

It was a drawing of him and Mike on the swing set at the playground.

It wasn’t a good drawing. Will remembered it clear as day; he had made this for Mike, his newly acquired best friend at the time, only a week or two after they had met. He flipped to the next page, having completely forgotten about the snacks he was supposed to lay out.

The binder was full of drawings and paintings, all of them made by Will, one of them made by them together on the day Mike had decided to take up painting too and decided to drop it again immediately after not being good at it right away. They had scribbled together on the paper, creating a fantastic world with dragons and wizards and purple skies.

The stairs creaked behind him, and he shut the binder quickly, turning around to face Mike with a folded piece of clothing in his hands. “I got you your own Hellfire shirt,” Mike said and descended the stairs without looking up from the shirt. “You’re part of the club now.”

He lifted his head to look at Will, then his eyes briefly dropped to the binder in his hands. “Oh,” he said and scratched the back of his head, “that’s, uh —”

“A collection of all the drawings I ever made for you,” Will said. “You kept all of them.”

“Yeah. They’re really cool.” He put the shirt on the table and shoved his hands into his pockets.

“They’re not,” Will said. “I mean, some of them are, but the ones I made as a kid aren’t. But you kept them all.”

“They were gifts,” Mike said with a shrug. “I don’t throw away gifts.”

“It’s nice,” Will said, trying to stop himself from turning a shade redder, and put the binder back on the shelf. “I assumed you hadn’t kept them, let alone put them in a binder.”

“I’m full of surprises.” Mike grinned lightly and picked the shirt back up. “Hey, wanna try on your shirt?” He tossed it to Will and gestured down his own. “It looks really cool.”

“It does.” Will attempted to keep his voice neutral to avoid giving away how cool Mike looked in that shirt.

Mike in that shirt wasn’t just cool. He was a combination of the two things Will loved most in the world, the colors suited him perfectly and Will wished he’d never wear anything else again.

He forced his eyes away from his best friend and awkwardly cleared his throat. “When are the other’s coming?” he asked, trying to sound casual.

Mike checked the clock on the wall. “Uh, about half an hour, I guess. Did you finish with the snacks?”

“I was about to,” Will said. “Your binder distracted me. Wanna help?”

Robin stood in front of the school’s gymnasium with her heart beating in her throat. It was weird to be here, even as part of a group. Her collared shirt seemed too tight around her throat and the blazer two sizes too small. It was just a prom, she reminded herself. She was perfectly okay to attend it as a friend of a graduate.

“Hey, are you okay?” Vickie’s hand closed around hers. “Are you nervous?”

“Crazy nervous.” Robin retracted her hand and took her blazer off, throwing it over her shoulder to allow herself to breathe. “I don’t even know why. Maybe because I’m not wearing a dress. I’ll stand out. Should I go back and get a dress? I have exactly one.”

“You look great,” Vickie reassured her. “Don’t worry. Everyone is going to be too focused on the music and the alcohol to notice you.”

“You think they’re serving alcohol?”

“Someone probably spiked the drinks.” Vickie shrugged. “Wouldn’t be a party without alcohol.”

“I’m still worried about the suit,” Robin said nervously and unbuttoned the first button of the shirt when it felt too tight again. “What if they think I’m gay? People jump to conclusions so quickly.”

“Well,” Vickie said. “You are. And they won’t assume that. They’ll probably see you, think something along the lines of ‘Oh look, Robin is here, wonder what she’s up to these days’, and move on. They won’t even notice that you’re dancing with your super hot girlfriend.”

Robin chuckled. “They’ll notice I’m dancing with my super hot gal pal, for sure.” She took a deep breath and slipped into her blazer again. It felt like its regular size again. “Is it okay with you if Steve pretends to be my boyfriend in case anyone says something dumb? He offered to be my fake-boyfriend back when we became friends, if I ever needed him to.”

“Of course. Safety first.” She smiled lightly at Robin. “As long as he doesn’t kiss you.”

“Ew.” Robin grinned. “No. Neither of us wants that.” Quieter, she added, “You can kiss me when we’re in private again.”

“I’ll take you up on that.” Vickie linked her arm with Robin’s. “Ready?”

“Not really. But I’m doing it.”

The gymnasium was crowded with former students and their friends or partners in expensive-looking dresses and suits. Even though nobody paid attention to her, Robin felt like all eyes were on her and Vickie, and she nervously glanced around the room. “Let’s find the others,” she suggested. “I think I see Nancy and Jonathan over there.”

She pulled Vickie through the crowd by her wrist, forcing herself to ignore everyone around her until she found her friends. She had to pause for a moment, because Nancy looked —

She looked fine. Just like anyone else. Nothing noteworthy, just like everyone else.

“I love your dress,” Vickie said.

“Me too.” Robin pressed her lips together and forced the memory of Steve’s assumption about her out of her mind.

It was an off-shoulder dress in a soft pink, white lace adorning the ends of the sleeves and the seam where the tight waist met a looser skirt. “Thanks.” Nancy smiled widely. “It’s new.” Her hair was halfway pinned up, wide curls falling down her shoulders and her make-up was ever so subtle yet astonishingly alluring.

Robin swallowed and ripped her eyes away, stretching her neck to get a better look of the crowd. “Have you seen Steve?”

“Uh, I think he’s somewhere over by the drinks, flirting with someone,” Nancy said and gestured in a vague direction. “Maybe he’s trying to see if he can score a date.”

“Oh, absolutely not.” Robin pushed her hair back and found Steve with her eyes, talking to a girl with dark hair and a black dress. “Excuse me.” She pushed her way through everyone obstructing her way and stopped right next to Steve, clearing her throat.

“Oh, hey, Robin,” Steve said casually when he noticed her. “This is, um —”

“Macey,” the girl said.

“Right.”

“Hi, Macey.” Robin put on a fake smile. “Scram. I’m with him tonight.” She took Steve’s hand and pulled him away from the girl, into a corner where nobody stood.

“What the hell?” he complained. “She was totally into me.”

“I know, everyone is totally into you, look at yourself in that fancy suit.” Robin crossed her arms and leaned in closer. “What the hell are you doing? Are you trying to hurt him on purpose?”

“Whoa, relax. Eddie and I have talked about this, we can both see other people. It’s entirely casual. Besides, he’s not even here.”

“You’re an idiot to believe that it’s casual for him. He’s trying to be casual, but you and I both know it means more to him.”

“Robin, hey.” He grabbed her wildly gesturing hands and looked into her eyes. “Remember what you promised? No butting in.”

“Oh, screw that, I’m butting in. No flirting with anyone tonight, got it?” She narrowed her eyes at him, hoping to convey some sort of firmness. There was just no way she’d let Steve roam around and flirt with other people while he was involved with Eddie, however casual it may be.

“I can’t promise that,” Steve said. “Everyone is really hot.”

“Let’s put it this way, then,” Robin said. “You’re here with your friends. If you abandon us to hook up with some random floozie, you’re a dick.”

Steve crossed his arms and glared at her briefly. “Okay. Fine. I’m staying with you guys.”

“Thank you. Now come on, we’re over there.” She pointed at the three others, engaged in conversation. “Oh, by the way, you’re my fake boyfriend for the night if anyone gives me crap about dancing with Vickie.”

“Got it,” he agreed. “I don’t have to kiss you, do I?”

“I’d punch you if you did. You can scare off guys and hold my hand or whatever.” Hand in hand, they returned to the group, where Steve joined Nancy’s side and Robin linked her arm with Vickie’s again. “So,” she said and put her hand on Vickie’s arm. “Anyone gonna dance?”

The music had changed to a slower song, and Robin’s hands rested on Vickie’s shoulders almost an armlength away. “I really don’t know what I’m doing,” she said. “I have no clue how to dance.”

“You’re doing great,” Vickie said. “Feels a little stiff, standing so far away.”

“I know.” Robin glanced around. “I really wanna stay closer,” she added quietly, “but there are so many people here.”

“We could dance again later at home,” Vickie suggested. “I’ll put on some music, we can dance as closely as we want to, and I could put my hands on your waist and pull you in, and....” She smiled hopefully at Robin.

“That sounds great,” she whispered back. “We could...” she paused, looking around to make sure that nobody was listening to them. “Make out?”

“That sounds awesome. I can’t wait.”

“Me either.” Robin chuckled softly and felt herself getting lost in Vickie’s eyes again, just like that day by the lake. It felt warm, and comfortable.

“Do you wanna have a drink?” Vickie suggested. “I’ll get us one.”

“Yes, please, I hate standing for so long.” She looked over to the line of people queueing up for the drink station, then back at Vickie. “It’ll take you a while, are you sure you don’t want me to go?”

“That’s okay.” Vickie smiled at her. “My girl wants a drink, she gets a drink. I’ll find you again.”

Robin made her way through the dancing pairs when Vickie left, distractedly searching for a place to sit, when she suddenly bumped into Nancy.

“Shit, sorry,” Robin said quickly. “Did I hurt you?”

“You’re fine.” Nancy smiled vaguely and glanced around. “Where’d Vickie go?”

“She’s getting us a drink. Where’s Jonathan?”

“Bathroom, I think. Wanna dance?” She held out her hand invitingly.

“I was gonna go sit down,” Robin said. Her face suddenly felt very warm, and she noticed her increasing heart rate when Nancy didn’t retract her hand again.

“Come on, one dance as best friends,” she said. “I danced with Steve too, and we’re all here as friends, right?”

Robin looked over at the drink queue and spotted Vickie still waiting patiently. “Yeah, okay,” she said. “My feet can’t hurt much more than this. How are you doing this in heels?” She took Nancy’s hand and let her put her arms over her shoulders, her own instinctively wandering to Nancy’s waist, softly swerving to the music.

“It’s all a matter of practice,” Nancy said with a smile. “You can try them on, if you want.”

“No way. Your scratchy blouse was already one too many, I’m sticking to sneakers.”

Nancy laughed lightly. “Fair enough.”

“How are things with Jonathan?” Robin mentally slapped herself for asking, not wanting to bring up a potentially hurtful topic to Nancy, but she couldn’t help her curiosity.

“They’re confusing,” Nancy replied. “We agreed to come here as friends. It’s best that way, but both of us just can’t seem to want to leave each other.”

“Gotta stay strong,” Robin muttered. “You’ll probably meet someone in Massachusetts who you won’t be able to stay away from.”

“Yeah.” Nancy’s smile faded a little. “Maybe I will. How are things with your fake boyfriend?”

“Oh, awesome. Yeah, he actually just proposed. We’re getting fake-married next summer.”

Nancy snickered. “You’re really better off as friends, but you can’t blame people for assuming.” The wide smile stayed on her face and Robin joined her soft laughter.

“We don’t. We’re really acting like a couple sometimes. It’s kind of fun to make people assume.”

Standing so close to Nancy, Robin could smell her subtle, vanilla scented perfume. It suited her, and Robin never wanted to stop smelling it. “New perfume?” she asked, quieter than she had intended.

“I’ve had it for a while, I just never got around to using it.”

“Smells good,” Robin said. For a second, she let herself appreciate the gentle scent and Nancy’s arms around her shoulders, looking deeply into her eyes. Then, Steve’s words came back to her, and she cleared her throat, averting her gaze. “You’re a good dancer,” she noted casually.

“It’s not very hard, it’s just moving from left to right.” Nancy shrugged. “Are you doing okay here? You seemed nervous earlier.”

“I’m better now.” She left out the fact that dancing with Nancy made her extremely nervous, blaming it on her fear of being perceived in a crowd. “But I should probably sit down now, my feet are really hurting.” She wanted to let go of Nancy’s waist, but for a reason that was inexplicable to Robin, she couldn’t move her hands, and Nancy didn’t stop either. “I’m gonna go,” she said again, hoping that saying it would make her brain work again.

“You really should.” Vickie appeared next to them with two drinks in her hand, watching as Robin hastily removed her hands from Nancy and cleared her throat.

“Is there booze in that?” Robin asked and took one of the drinks from Vickie. “I could use some booze.”

“Robin,” Vickie said and followed her as she made her way through the crowd toward the tables. “Robin, please wait.”

“This doesn’t taste like alcohol,” Robin said with disappointment, avoiding Vickie’s eyes. For some reason, she felt guilty, like she had done something wrong. But she had only been dancing with a friend, there was nothing wrong with it, right?

“Let’s go outside for a moment,” Vickie suggested. “We should talk about something.”

The evening air had cooled down drastically. Robin pulled her blazer tighter around her chest and followed Vickie to a bench just outside the gymnasium. The music could still be heard outside, albeit duller and distant.

Vickie sat down, smoothing her dress, and Robin joined her, her heart beating in her throat. “I don’t really know how to start this,” Vickie said.

“You could start by telling me what a terrible girlfriend I am,” Robin suggested half-heartedly. “I’m sorry.”

“You’re not a terrible girlfriend.” Vickie reached out to take her hands, hesitating briefly. “Is it okay if I hold your hands?”

In response, Robin took her hands herself and tried to conjure up a smile. “It’s dark enough,” she said.

“Do you want to break up with me?” Vickie blurted out, her eyebrows drawn together in a worried frown.

“What? Why would I want that?”

“Because you like Nancy.” Vickie’s hands held hers tighter as Robin was trying to find the words to respond. “I know you’re gonna tell me that you don’t, but look at the facts. Nancy is the first person you go to whenever you’re upset. I should be that for you. You talked to her about your insecurities about our relationship, not to me. And just now, you were dancing with her like you’re her girlfriend.”

Robin tried to shove down the anxious feeling overcoming her, but it proved difficult to do so. None of this meant anything, it couldn’t. “Steve is the first person I go to when I’m upset,” she said helplessly.

“Steve doesn’t count.”

“Vickie, I swear to you, I like you. I asked you to kiss me, I asked you to go home with me. Not Nancy. I only danced with her because she asked me to.”

Vickie leaned against the backrest of the bench with a sigh, staring into the dark sky. “You couldn’t put your hands on my waist in there, you couldn’t be seen holding my hand in there or standing closer to me than an armlength apart, because you’re afraid that people might find us out. I get that.”

“Vickie...”

“So, why did none of these things bother you when you were doing it with Nancy? Why is it so scary that people might see us as a couple, but if they assumed you and Nancy were a couple, you wouldn’t mind?” Her voice was louder now, just the smallest bit, and Robin could hear the hurt in it.

“Because I’m not actually dating her,” she said quietly, hoping to even out the volume between them. “I’m dating you. I don’t want people to assume we’re a couple because they’d be right and I can’t deal with that. I swear to you, I’m not in love with Nancy. I’m with you.”

“Yeah, but are you in love with me?” Brief pain flashed through Vickie’s eyes as she asked the question with a halting voice.

“Vickie —”

“Do you swear you don’t love her?”

Robin raised her left hand and placed her right one over her heart, fixing her eyes on Vickie. “I swear. Solemnly. On my mother.”

Vickie exhaled and nodded slowly. “Okay. I believe you.”

Chapter Text

Max was woken up by someone nudging her shoulder. Overcome by a groggy haze, she mumbled something inaudible and pushed the hand on her shoulder away, but it nudged her again. 

“I’m sleeping,” she grumbled and turned over. 

“Max.” It was El’s voice. “Wake up.” 

“What? I’m sleeping.” She put her pillow over her head, fighting the tiredness in her bones. “What time is it?” she mumbled into the pillow. 

“Six in the morning.” 

“Why are you waking me up at six in the morning?” Max pushed the pillow away and rubbed her eyes, trying to orient herself through the fog in her brain. 

“Dad just called from the station,” El said quietly. “He went early because he got a call. Your mom came back. She’s at the station.” 

“My mom did what?” All the tiredness was suddenly being drained from her body, and she held herself up on her elbows. “If this is some kind of joke —” 

“It’s not. She’s back, and we should go to see her.” 

“Okay,” Max mumbled. “Yeah, let’s go.” She pushed her disheveled hair out of her face and reached for the wheelchair next to the bed, adjusting it so it’d be easier for her to get in it. “I’m gonna get dressed. Give me five minutes.” 

When El left the room to give her some privacy, she had to take a moment to breathe. Her heart was hammering against her chest, out of simple nervousness or pure anxiety, she couldn’t tell. Maybe, it was all a dream. She was going to wake up any second now, and her mom would still be absent, and everything would be the same again. 

But she didn’t wake up, and she felt a strange mix of fear and anticipation as she got dressed, opting for a shirt that her mom had once gifted her. The strange feeling didn’t leave, not when she left the house, not when Joyce helped her into the car, and not when the doors to the police station opened. She had no idea what to expect, whether she even wanted her mom to be back. 

The sound of people talking died down when Max entered. She knew that El and Joyce were right behind her, and she assumed she looked like the protagonist of a movie making a dramatic entrance, but in the back of her mind she knew that they were staring at her because she wasn’t only the blind disabled girl anymore. 

She was the blind, disabled girl whose mom had left her behind in the worst moment of her life, just to suddenly return, and for what reason? Guilt? Regret? Pity? Did she come back because she was the only family Max had left, or because she loved her daughter? Suddenly, the strange feeling in her chest was replaced by anger, entirely directed at her mother. 

“Where is she?” Max muttered to El, trying to estimate how many people were looking at her right now. 

“In my office,” Hopper’s voice appeared next to her. “Impatiently waiting for you. Let’s go, kid.” He grabbed the handles of the chair and pushed it forward. El and Joyce didn’t seem to follow, and Max suddenly felt a wave of loneliness wash over her. When she entered the room with Hopper and heard the door close behind her, she had no clue what to think. 

“Max.” She hadn’t heard her mother’s voice in a while. “Oh God, Max, I’m so sorry, baby.” 

Her mother hugged her, but Max didn’t reciprocate it. She felt her mother’s worry and guilt swap over to her like a wave on the shore, but it wasn’t enough to replace the frustration she felt in her heart. 

“I’m not your baby anymore,” she whispered, hating how quiet her voice sounded. She wanted to yell in frustration, throw something through a window and hear glass shatter. 

Her mother kneeled in front of her, holding her hands. “I’m really sorry, Max. I’m sorry I left, I’m sorry I didn’t come back until now, but I’m here now, and we can talk about it all.” Her voice was choked by tears. 

“It’s great that you’re here now,” Max said neutrally. “But you haven’t been here before, have you?” Her anger threatened to burst out, and for a moment, she tried to push it down, but then she decided there was no point to forcing it away. “Look at me, mom. Really look at me. I’m blind. I can’t walk. I almost died, and you walked out on me. You left me. And you come back now? After I’ve already made it this far on my own? No, that’s bullshit!” She pulled her hands away from her mother’s grip and pushed her wheelchair backwards a few inches to get a distance between them. “The people outside of this room, they’re my family now. Hopper is the one who got me out of the hospital, Joyce is the one who taught me to read with my hands, El is the one who stood with me every single day in the hospital! You didn’t. We can talk about it? How about you start by telling me what the hell made you walk out on me when I needed you most? After everything this family has been through, after Dad left and Billy died and we moved to that shitty trailer park, you decided that on top of my new disabilities, I needed a mother who left me as well? I’m doing just fine on my own. You have no idea what it’s been like for me, and you’re never going to find out, because I don’t need you anymore. I have a family. You’re not part of it.” Max hadn’t realized the tears falling down her face, and how choked her voice sounded until she finished talking. 

For a moment, her mom didn’t respond. “I’m really sorry,” she finally said again. “I made a mistake. I should’ve been here, I know that. But Max, I love you. I’m here now. I’ll never go anywhere else again. Please, let me be with you. Come home with me.” 

“You hurt me, mom.” Max turned her head away, feeling her face turning redder. 

“Why don’t we give her some time?” Hopper's voice came from the background, easing the tension between them. “Max can stay with us for a little while longer, if she wants to, and when she’s ready, we’ll bring her to the trailer.” 

“If she’ll still be here by then,” Max remarked. “Maybe when I’m ready, she’ll have left again because there’s nothing worse in the world than to have a disabled daughter.” 

“I thought you were going to die.” Her mother’s voice was filled with despair.  

“And what if I had? What if I had never woken up from my coma and they had pulled the plug on me? What then? You wouldn’t have wanted to be at my funeral?” Max shook her head and pressed her lips together to keep herself from crying even more. “I understand that it would’ve destroyed you. But this right here nearly destroyed me. I fought, even though I had lost everything. I would not be here right now if it wasn’t for my friends, I’d probably have killed myself a while ago if they hadn’t been there for me.” She was distantly aware of how harsh her words sounded, but they needed to come out, she needed to say them. “You didn’t see how I fought. How I healed. And I did it all without you. It could’ve been different, you could still be the most important person in my life, but you’re not anymore. What you did affected me. These are your consequences, deal with them.” 

Without waiting for her mother to respond, she turned her wheelchair around and opened the door, leaving Hopper behind with her mom. As she was leaving, she heard her mother sob and Hopper talk to her in a low voice, saying something along the lines of She needs time, and She’ll come around. 

Truthfully, Max didn’t know if she would. She wanted her mother to be a relevant part of her life, but these past months had proven that she didn’t have to be. Though it ached to leave her behind like this, Max wasn’t ready to return to her old life. This was a new life, one she had gotten used to, and uprooting it again for someone who had left her behind wasn’t something she was interested in. 

“Let’s go home,” she muttered as she was passing El and Joyce, and she didn’t stop until she was outside the station again. It was too early for emotions like these. 

El followed her with hurried steps, catching up when Max stopped in the parking lot. “What happened?” she asked, worry swaying in her voice. It wasn’t the same worry Max had recognized in her mother’s voice; it was kinder, without a hint of pity.  

“I’m staying with you,” Max said, attempting to steady her voice. “For now.” 

She felt El’s hand on her shoulder, lightly squeezing. “Okay,” she said softly. “My mom is talking to yours now,” she added. “Maybe she can convince her to stay for good. And when you are ready, you can go to her again, but you don’t have to.” 

“Yeah,” Max muttered. “I prefer being with you anyways. Can you believe her? Showing up after all this time, when the worst part is already over? She just didn’t want to deal with the trouble.” 

“Maybe there’s more to it,” El said hesitantly. “Maybe she’ll explain it to you.” 

“There’s nothing to explain. She abandoned me.” 

“She’s still your mom.” El’s hand disappeared from her shoulder. 

“It’s easy for you to say,” Max said. “You have a family. You have a mom and a dad and two brothers, and they’d never walk out on you. They took you in. My mom did the opposite.” 

“I don’t know my mom,” El said quietly. “I mean, I have Joyce. She’s like my mom. But my mom, I never really knew her. She doesn’t know me. And it’s not her fault, but sometimes, I wish she was part of my life.” 

“Your mother is not the person who gave birth to you, it’s the person who took you in and loved you unconditionally. That’s Joyce.” Max turned her wheelchair toward El. “Look. After Hopper allegedly died, Joyce took one look at you and said, ‘That’s my daughter’. She took you in without any hesitation. She bought clothes for you, she took care of you, she taught you how to be a normal person with a normal life after the mess in your past. That’s what a mother does. My mother? After she divorced my dad and he left, she was more interested in pursuing other relationships than looking after me. I ran away once. And then she married Neil, out of all people, and she stood by as he was abusive toward Billy, and Billy toward me. When Billy died and Neil left, she got her help from alcohol. And I loved her through all of it, and I still love her now, but she left me. It’s just one more time she couldn’t be here for me, and who can promise me that she’ll stay now? I’m more trouble than I’m worth, especially now. As far as I’m concerned, I don’t have a mother.” 

“She loves you,” El said again. “She worked two jobs to take care of you. She made mistakes, but she loves you.” 

“I just- I need time, okay? It’s more complicated than you understand. I’m not going back to her now, maybe at some point I will, but right now, I can’t do it. If you don’t want me to stay at your house anymore, I’ll find a different place. I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.” 

“Nobody is living by themselves,” Joyce said as she exited the station. “Max, sweetie, you’re staying with us for a little while longer, but your mother wants you to know that she’ll wait for you at your trailer, and you can come back any time, even if it's just to talk or to yell at her. We’re taking this step by step. For now, let’s just go home, get some sleep, and then we’ll do something nice together, okay?” 

Max could hear the soft smile in Joyce’s voice, and she wiped over her eyes another time. “Okay,” she muttered, as she let herself be wheeled to the car.  

The thought that her family was forever broken apart didn’t leave her. There didn’t seem to be a point in trying to rekindle her relationship with her mother, when the same person who allegedly loved her had no issues abandoning her without so much as a note.  

Chapter Text

Steve didn’t mind driving the kids around. It was always fun to engage with their jokes and hear about whatever they’ve been up to lately. Usually, it was nerd stuff that Steve didn’t really understand.  

But today, Dustin was barely speaking, only scanning Steve with his eyes repeatedly, concentration written all over his face. 

“Do I have something in my teeth?” Steve asked with a raised eyebrow, glancing at Dustin from the side while trying to focus on the road. He was driving him to Eddie’s place. He wasn’t entirely sure why he was visiting him, something about a Star Wars marathon, or something like that. 

“What do you smell like?” Dustin asked back. 

“I’m sorry, what?” 

“Your smell. Catch up.” 

“Um,” Steve said and scratched the back of his head, “it’s my body spray, I guess. I don’t know what it smells like.” He pulled into the trailer park, stopping his car in front of the trailer, where Eddie was already waiting outside. 

As they got out of the car, Dustin looked back and forth between Eddie and Steve with narrowed eyes. 

“I think Dustin is broken,” Steve greeted Eddie. “Somehow, I broke him.” 

Eddie raised his brows and snapped his fingers in front of Dustin’s eyes. “Earth to Dustin?” 

Dustin slowly raised his hand and pointed at Eddie, then at Steve. “No way,” he said slowly. “No way .” 

“Yeah, I broke him,” Steve said and stemmed his hands in his hips. 

“Hold on.” Eddie leaned closer to Steve and took a deep breath it. “Body spray?” 

“Why is everyone so obsessed with that? I use body spray, get over it.” 

“Yeah,” Eddie said with a dim chuckle. “I know what broke him.” 

“Which is?” 

“He figured us out.” 

“He what?” 

“Hey, Dustin,” Eddie said and snapped his fingers at him again. “Let’s go inside before you flip out. Don’t need my neighbors seeing this.” He grabbed Dustin’s shoulders and practically pushed him over the ground to his trailer, Steve following not far behind, closing the door behind them. 

 “You’re the one in Eddie’s bedroom,” Dustin said. “Seriously?” 

“I — what? I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Steve said nervously and raked his hand through his hair. “I hang out here sometimes. We’re friends.” 

Eddie lightly raised an eyebrow at him. 

“Not based on what Eddie told me,” Dustin argued and crossed his arms. “He confirmed that he was hiding someone in his bedroom when I came over, and it smelled like your body spray.” 

“Jesus, Eds, what did you tell him?” Steve sighed and leaned back on the couch, his hands grasping the edges of the backrest.  

“Not a single detail,” Eddie replied. “He got there on his own.” 

“So, it’s true?” Dustin seemed to be unsure about his reaction to the news. He mostly looked confused to Steve. 

Eddie glanced at Steve, who nodded with a sigh. “Yeah. It is.” 

“What? Why? How?” 

“You see, Dusti-bun,” Eddie said and jokingly slung his arm around the younger boy, “When two adults really like each other—” 

“Shut up,” Dustin said and swatted his arm away. “I know how. But why?” 

Steve looked at Eddie and shrugged. “There’s just something about him.” 

“There’s a lot about him ,” Eddie replied with a suppressed smile. 

“I can’t believe this,” Dustin said and settled on the couch, crossing his arms over the backrest.  

“Why not? Remember how you told me to go for someone I actually like?” Steve reminded him of their conversation a year ago. “I did that.” 

“I obviously didn’t mean Eddie with that.” 

“But I like him. We’re good friends.” 

The puzzled look on Dustin’s face appeared again. “You’re friends?” 

“Let’s not get into the details of this arrangement,” Eddie said with a low grin. “You’re still a minor, Dustin, you’re not getting the full version.” 

“Do you have a problem with this because we’re both guys?” Steve asked, hoping for the answer to be ‘No’, because telling one of the kids was one thing but God forbid if the kid they chose to tell turned out to be homophobic. 

“I have a problem with this because you make no sense together,” Dustin argued. “I don’t give a shit about your gender. Eddie is so much cooler than you.” 

“Ha!” Eddie high-fived Dustin with a laugh. “Heard it here first, I’m cooler.” 

“What! I’m cool!” Steve argued. “I’m the one who went hunting for Dart with you, I’m the one who protected your ass from the demogorgons!” 

Dustin shrugged. “Yeah, but Eddie plays D&D. That makes him cooler.” 

“I’m going to hold this over your head forever,” Eddie gloated. “Steve, you hanging around for some of the best movies ever made?” 

“What, Star Trek?” 

“Star Wars,” Dustin and Eddie said simultaneously.  

“Big difference,” Eddie added. 

“Same thing. I’ll leave you to that, I’ve got places to be.” 

“Suit yourself.” Eddie plopped down on the couch next to Dustin. “We’ll have fun without you.”

Nancy was relatively sure she and Jonathan were still friends. She had been trying to convince herself that she could shut down her feelings for him, that Robin was right and she really was just feeling lonely. It was going well; too well, in her opinion. Jonathan was going to leave for California in a couple of days, and Nancy was starting to doubt that it’d affect her as much as she wanted it to. 

She would’ve loved to call Robin about it, but last time she saw her at prom, Robin had dodged her the rest of the evening. She wondered what Vickie had wanted to talk to her about, and made a mental note to ask her about it next time she saw her. 

As she was lying on her back, staring at the stars on her ceiling, she pondered who else she could talk to about her qualms.  

A minute later, she barged into Mike’s room without knocking and let herself fall on his bed. Mike barely looked up from whatever he was doing at his desk. “You should really knock,” he said without facing her. “Next time I’ll just walk into your room whenever I feel like it.” 

Nancy lifted her head slightly. “Since when do you not yell at me when I do this?” 

Mike shrugged. “I’m busy.” 

“What are you doing?” 

“None of your business.” He turned over the book he was looking at and spun his chair around to look at her with a blank expression. “What do you want?” 

Nancy let her head fall back onto the mattress and linked her hands over her stomach. “Jonathan leaves in two days.” 

“I know. And?” 

“I’m not sure I’ll miss him as much as I want to.” 

“I don’t get it. You want to feel bad? That’s dumb as hell.” He joined her on the bed with some distance. 

“You’re such an idiot.” 

“You’re the one who came in here to talk,” he scoffed. “We don’t talk. We never have. You really expect solid advice now?” 

“I expected some basic competence, but I should’ve known I wouldn’t find that in here.” She rolled her eyes and turned her head over to look at Mike. “What if Will moved away? How would you feel?” 

“Will did move away. You know how I felt about it.” 

“I don’t, actually, because you hardly talked about it. To me, anyway.” 

“You were busy sulking about Jonathan being in Cali.” He shook his head subtly and kept his eyes on the ceiling, exhaling slowly. “I felt like shit. And any time I tried to call, the phone was busy. I barely talked to him.” 

“I felt the same way,” Nancy replied, remembering how tough the first few months without Jonathan had been. Of course, she had still called regularly, had sometimes even reached through when Joyce hadn’t been occupying the line with her telemarketing job, and she and Jonathan had exchanged tons of letters. “After a few months, I didn’t miss him as much anymore. I got used to being apart. And now, it’s like… it’ll be like that right away. I won’t miss him so much anymore.” 

“And that’s a big change,” Mike said. 

“You get it?” 

“Sort of.” He shrugged lightly. “You want to miss him because that’d mean you’re still in love with him. If you don’t miss him, it means that chapter of your life is over. I get it.” 

“Wow. Didn’t think you would.” 

“How dumb do you think I am?” 

“Not dumb. Just…socially incompetent.” She chuckled when he smacked her arm and huffed. 

They remained lying on the bed for a while. Nancy was lost in thought about how she was going to tackle her future if she really wasn’t in love with Jonathan anymore, and she wondered what Mike was thinking about. 

“I’m going to miss you when you move away,” Mike said after a while. 

“Aw.” Nancy smiled. “That’s the nicest thing you ever said to me.” 

“It’s the only nice thing I’ll ever say to you.” 

“Wouldn’t want it any other way.” She lightly pressed her lips together, letting her eyes wander over Mike’s room. It was chaotic to a troubling extent, unwashed clothes covering almost the whole floor. “It’ll be so weird to be away from your mess,” she said. “Massachusetts. That’s so far away. Maybe I shouldn’t go.” 

“Shut up,” Mike said. “You’ll go. You’ll set unrealistic standards that Holly and me can never fulfill.” 

“Holly and I.” 

“What?” 

“It’s ‘standards that Holly and I can never fulfill’.” 

“Proving my point,” Mike said sarcastically. “You’re an obnoxious smartass and Emerson will be glad to have you.” 

“Thanks.” 

“Since you’re such a smartass,” Mike said, “have you ever read The Picture of Dorian Gray and if yes, did you understand what the hell it’s about?” 

“I have read that,” Nancy said. “Do you have to read it for school?” 

Mike shook his head. “It’s Will’s favorite book.” He briefly got up from the bed to grab the book he had been reading at his desk before and tossed it to Nancy before sitting down on the mattress again. 

Curiously, Nancy opened it. It was filled with scribbles and notes, underlined words and definitions written above them. 

“We had a fight,” Mike said, “and we made up again, but things are weird. And I don’t want to give him more reason to be mad at me.” 

“Why would he be mad at you for not reading this book?” Nancy flipped through the pages. 

“He wouldn’t. But I haven’t exactly been the best friend recently.” He paused briefly, glancing at his hands. “I don’t know, I guess I want him to know I’m trying to be more interested in his hobbies. I don’t want D&D to be our only shared interest.” 

Nancy sat up and crossed her legs, holding the book in her lap. “That’s actually really sweet.” 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Mike looked away, redness spreading across his face and ears. “Can you just tell me what it’s about? I keep rereading the same lines and I still don’t get it.” 

“Basically, it’s about this guy, Dorian Gray, who has a painting that ages for him. Dorian gets to live a pleasant life without any consequences, but when he becomes more and more morally corrupt, the painting grows uglier. It ends with Dorian’s attempt to destroy the painting, and thereby killing himself.” 

“That’s so weird.” Mike took the book out of her hands and turned it over. “He dies? Why would anyone write about that?” 

“It’s about the destructive nature of vanity,” Nancy said, thinking back to when she had read the book a few years ago. “It practically says that true beauty lies in your character and not your appearance. Dorian’s death is meant to symbolize the idea that the consequences of your actions can’t be escaped.” 

“How do you know this shit?” 

“I read the book, and I have a basic understanding of literature, like anyone after third grade.” 

“You suck.” 

“Are you trying to impress him?” Nancy smirked lightly. “You’d never read that book on your own volition.”  

“Like I said, I just want to be a better friend.” He placed the book on his nightstand on top of a dictionary and fell back into his pillow. “I need to be a better friend.” 

“In my recent experience, friendships develop pretty well if you just show up at their doorstep in the middle of the night. Worked for me.” 

Mike raised an eyebrow at her. “With who?” 

“Robin.” 

“You’re like polar opposites. How does that work?” 

Nancy smiled lightly to herself, a warm feeling spreading through her stomach. “It just does.” 

Chapter Text

Mike didn’t usually listen to his sister’s advice, but as he found himself racing down the streets on his bike in the middle of the night because sleep had avoided him like the plague, he realized that the tiredness in his bones did seem to make him fonder of his friends, made him incapable of staying away. He didn’t know what he was going to say to Will once he got there. There wasn’t any pressure to say anything at all, all he felt was the strange desire to visit his best friend, pulling him down the streets towards the Byers’ house.

He dropped his bike on the grass when he arrived, ready to sneak around the house to Will’s room when he noticed two people sitting on the grass, leaning against the wall.

“Mike?” Will squinted through the darkness. “What are you doing here?”

“Um,” Mike said awkwardly. “Hey.”

“Hi,” El said. She had her legs pulled up to her chest, her arms wrapped around them.

“I couldn’t sleep,” Mike said. “Am I interrupting something?”

Will glanced at El, who shook her head. “I was about to go inside again,” she said. Her voice sounded different from the one Mike knew. Something had changed in it, and as El stood up, he didn’t miss the shadow across her face.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, sitting down next to Will when the door closed behind El. “Is she okay?”

“Max’s mom came back,” Will said and laid his arms over his knees. “But she doesn’t want to live with her, and El is worried. That’s all.”

“That’s a lot,” Mike said. “She really came back? Why now?”

Will shrugged lightly and turned his head to face Mike. “We don’t know. I wasn’t there, but apparently, Max yelled at her. She’s been upset all day.”

“Maybe things will turn around,” Mike offered helplessly. “Max always comes around eventually.”

“I don’t know. She’s really angry.”

They stayed silent for a while, staring into the night sky with the stars glistening above them. In the distance, a car drove by, and an owl hooted somewhere.

“Are you ready for school again?” Mike asked after a while.

Will ignored his question. “Why did you come here?”

“I don’t know,” Mike said and leaned his head against the wall. “I wanted to.” He linked his hands in his lap and shifted in his position. “How’s the moving on going?”

“What made you think that’s a good question to ask?”

“I’m really tired,” Mike said. “Sorry.”

“It’s going terribly,” Will said. “Being near you isn’t helping.”

“Do you want me to go again?”

Will shook his head. “No. Don’t.”

The soft rustle of the leaves in the wind sounded like a hummed melody in the air, like an opportunity for them to say every word that had still remained unspoken between them.

“When you were in Cali,” Mike began carefully, “did you ever tell anyone about me? About your life in Hawkins, I mean?”

Will smiled softly as if in thought, and nodded. “Yeah. I mean, they asked us about it, being the new kids and all. After we weren’t interesting anymore, most people didn’t really talk to us, but I still told them. Not about everything, obviously, but about you guys. About our party.”

The thought of Will speaking about Mike to others was something that warmed his heart unexpectedly. For a moment, he wondered how often Will might’ve talked about him, but he decided not to ask. “Did you make any other friends there?”

“No. I didn’t try to.” Will exhaled a low, shaky breath and directed his focus to the ground. “Honestly, I didn’t want to. I thought that you and I, all of us, were just going to be broken apart forever. I didn’t want someone else to replace that, even if it meant never having another friend.”

“We wouldn’t have broken apart forever,” Mike said. “I just needed that kick in my ass to put in more effort. And now you’re here, and I am putting in more effort. I tried reading your favorite book.”

“You did?” Will lightly raised an eyebrow at him. “Why?”

Mike shrugged, inexplicably feeling blood rush to his head. “I wanted to share more hobbies with you. But reading kind of sucks.”

“You don’t have to force yourself to like things I like,” Will said. “I don’t care how many hobbies we share. You’re my best friend either way.”

“Yeah.”

“It’s nice, though,” Will said after a moment of silence. “It’s like when we painted together once.”

“That was fun.” Mike glanced to the side, catching Will staring at him intently with blush spreading across his nose and cheeks. “Will,” he said, “you’re staring at me.”

“I know I am.” Will’s voice was quiet, unstable. “I can’t do this with you.”

“Can’t do what?” Mike heart inadvertently started beating quicker. Was Will about to end their friendship again?

“Talk about my feelings for you with you. Give you updates on how far I am on forgetting about them, because I don’t think I’ll be able to.” Will closed his eyes and exhaled slowly. “It’s too much. I thought I had moved on in Cali when I barely saw you, but turns out, I haven’t, so distance clearly isn’t the solution, but I also can’t be near you.”

“Crap.” Mike ran one hand through his hair before letting it fall on the ground. “Will, I —”

“Don’t say you’re sorry,” Will said. “I can’t hear it anymore.”

They sat in silence for a moment before Mike shifted in his position, turning fully toward Will. “Do you want to stop being my friend?”

“Of course I don’t. But this is shit.”

“It is.” Mike glanced at the ground, then back at Will. His hazel eyes were still looking at him longingly, as if waiting for Mike to get lost in them. For a very brief moment, he did. “I can’t stop being your friend,” Mike said. “Even if you asked me to. I won’t stop. I won’t give up on us, we’ve been through too much for us to throw this away.”

“Good,” Will said. “Me too.”

“Where do we go from here?”

Will shrugged. “I don’t know.” The light of the streetlamp reflected in Will’s eyes for a split second, and Mike’s brain seemed to short-circuit as he dove forward on impulse, even surprising himself when their lips met.

It was brief, uncertain and when Mike pulled away, his heart was hammering against his chest, so loudly he was afraid the entirety of Hawkins could hear it.

Will stared at him with slightly parted lips, his hand trembling as he reached up to touch them. “Mike—”

“I’m sorry,” Mike said quickly. “I shouldn’t have done that. Crap.”  He pushed himself up from the ground and looked down at Will before turning away. “I’m really sorry,” he said again. Then, he hurried to the bike he had carelessly thrown into the grass, swung his leg over it and hastily left the house behind him. He heard Will call after him once, but he didn’t look back. His hands felt cold, and his heart didn’t stop racing.

He certainly wouldn’t be falling asleep now.

When El quietly closed the door to her room behind her, she glanced at Max, who was lying in bed with her face to the wall. A blue shimmer of moonlight shone through the window and onto her hair.

El tip-toed to her bed, careful not to wake Max. But as she pulled the blanket over her body, she heard movement coming from the other side of the room. Max turned toward her with opened eyes. “Why are you up?” she asked, and El rolled over on her side to face Max.

“I couldn’t sleep,” she said, quieter than Max. Even if nobody was asleep, she didn’t like talking louder than necessary at night. The darkness always made her feel cautious of not only the volume at which she spoke, but also the words themselves.

“Are you awake because you worry about me?” Max’s words cut through the silence like a knife. She didn’t try to show it, but El could hear in her voice that she was still upset about her mother.

With a deep breath, El nodded. “Yes.”

“You shouldn’t be worried just because I rejected my mother. She’ll deal with it. I’m fine.”

“I’m worried because I think you are making a mistake,” El said carefully. It felt difficult to say, but Joyce had taught her that honesty was the best policy, and she tried to abide to that rule as much as she could. “Your mom made a mistake. She is trying to fix it.”

“She made a mistake and she’s dealing with the consequences of that mistake,” Max disagreed. “If I come running to her, she’ll just leave me again eventually because she’ll know that she can do whatever, and I’ll still love her. I can’t let her have that.” She crossed her arms under the blanket.

“At least talk to her,” El said helplessly. “She’s your family.”

Max huffed. “You don’t know what it’s like for me. You have a family. A family that loves you despite your troubles. My family is gone, and my mother ran away because things became too difficult. You have no idea about the things I deal with.”

“She came back because she wanted to help you through it,” El said. Max’s words were painful, but she knew that she was only saying them because she was upset.

“Nobody can help me through it. I’m damaged. You, and all the others, don’t know what this feels like for me. At least all of you got away physically undamaged. You got lucky. I didn’t.”

“Lucky?” El sat up, clutching her pillow as she tried to push down the hurt Max’s words were causing her. “Maybe I’m not blind, and I can walk. But that doesn’t make me lucky. That doesn’t make any of us lucky. You can’t compare your trauma to mine, because mine is just as real. Yes, I don’t know what it feels like for you, but your trauma is not worse than mine. It’s only different. We are both damaged.” She couldn’t stop her voice from rising in frustration as she gripped the pillow harder. “I grew up as nothing more than a number. I was experimented on. I was locked away, punished, used for evil. Yes, I got lucky because my parents adopted me. I got lucky because I found a family that loves me. I’m sorry for wanting the same thing for you. We are all broken in different ways. All I want for you is to allow yourself to heal your breaks.” She let go of the pillow, placed it back on the mattress with more force than intended, and turned her back to Max.

Max didn’t respond to her anymore. El heard her turn around, and she stared at the wall, letting the few tears that had formed run down her cheeks as she tried suppressing the need to cry.

She hadn’t intended for her words to hurt Max, and she hoped that they didn’t, but despite her understanding of Max’s situation, she couldn’t help but feel hurt by the insinuation that her trauma was less valid than her best friend’s.

Nights like these never brought anything good with them. Maybe, tomorrow would be better. Maybe.

Chapter Text

Panic clung to Robin when she jolted out of sleep. The vines still seemed to be choking her, closing around her throat like a hand. Orienting herself in the darkness proved impossible, any second now the monsters would break down the door and attack her, there simply wasn’t a place in the world where she was safe —

Her hand felt the mattress next to her, grabbing Vickie’s shoulder. She wanted to shake her awake, but a tight grip was all she was able to do. Her heart was hammering against her ribs painfully as she pressed her other hand on her chest in a desperate attempt to slow it down.