Chapter Text
<3 @starcr0ssed
wow I always thought the place I worked was pretty progressive but APPARENTLY the head of the company is a complete sexist. so that’s great (sarcasm)
Ray @rachelsmith
What happened??
<3 @starcr0ssed
one of the department heads went missing and the boss had to get a replacement right? and there’s this one lady who EVERYONE knew was going to be the replacement, she’s worked here forever and is super qualified
<3 @starcr0ssed
but instead he promoted some random guy who has no idea what he’s doing and made the lady his ASSISTANT???
Ray @rachelmsmith
Oh, yikes.
lynn (they/them) @lynnlynnlynn
kenzie ngl I’m a bit more worried about the fact that someone at your job went *missing*?
<3 @starcr0ssed
…yeah, I’m worried about that too, but the job market sucks and this job pays super well so unfortunately despite both of these reasons I can’t really leave lol
<3 @starcr0ssed
alsooo tbh I think there was just something weird with her (the person who went missing), she was always skulking around the building at weird hours and sometimes she just disappeared for months at a time??
<3 @starcr0ssed
and she never hired any assistants (apparently she used to have some but that was before I started working here) so the whole department was just… empty. and for some reason the boss said it was fine ??
<3 @starcr0ssed
and when she WAS here she kept bringing around some random goth guy but I asked him once and he said he didn’t work there… so like idk what that was about either. ig maybe her unemployed grandson? idk lol
<3 @starcr0ssed
point is if I were to bet on anyone here going missing it would have been her anyway
lynn (they/them) @lynnlynnlynn
damnnn your job lore is crazy
<3 @starcr0ssed
I’m so glad I work in admin, like people think finances and stuff are boring but it’s kind of nice not being involved in whatever insanity is going on everywhere else in this place lol
js @js460347
I constantly find myself wondering why my boss thought it was a good idea to give me this promotion. I will continue to do my best to complete my tasks, but it’s extremely frustrating having such a large workload thrust onto me without warning.
Georgie of What The Ghost!! @what_the_georgie
come on, I’m sure you’ll do great once you get the hang of things!
js @js460347
Thank you, Georgie. I do hope so.
<3 @starcr0ssed
y’all remember that new department head I was talking about? I had to go down there today to ask him to sign something and he didn’t answer his office door. so I walked in and he was talking into a tape recorder? for some reason??
<3 @starcr0ssed
like, I know they do recordings down there (his department is the archives) but I’m pretty sure they’re supposed to do them using like a computer, not some weird ancient technology
<3 @starcr0ssed
and he was like full-on voice acting too. didn’t hear what he was actually saying because when I went in he stopped and seemed super annoyed at me for interrupting him, but anyway. such a weird guy
Ray @rachelsmith
I don’t envy you having to interact with this guy, but I’m also weirdly invested in hearing about stuff from your job now.
<3 @starcr0ssed
lol I don’t blame you
lynn (they/them) @lynnlynnlynn
me too!! please post more stories (if you have them)
<3 @starcr0ssed
I don’t have any more right now, but I will if I see anything else weird !!
<3 @starcr0ssed
I already was going to tbh because these posts always get way more likes than usual, I think people like weird work stories lol
<3 @starcr0ssed
archives update!! and it’s a weird one but actually NOT about the archives boss this time? it’s about one of the assistants, who is apparently just… living down there now?? yes, in the basement. and there’s a worm infestation
Ethannnn 👽️ @galactic4762
They’re living there even though there are worms down there?
<3 @starcr0ssed
oops, I guess I was kind of vague, afaik the worms aren’t actually in the archives. they’re just kind of… crawling around the building sometimes, and nobody knows where they came from
<3 @starcr0ssed
anyway I don’t actually have proof they’re connected but the archives staff have been acting sooo weird around them so. I have a hunch
lynn (they/them) @lynnlynnlynn
kenzie work update just dropped !! (girl what is even going on there)
<3 @starcr0ssed
I’d say I wish I knew, but I’m not sure I do tbh
m.k.🌈 @an-eterni-tea
I’ve never been more bored in my life
Sasha @sashahhhhhhh
Come for drinks Friday? I promise Tim and I won’t let you out of our sight
m.k.🌈 @an-eterni-tea
…okay
stoking the flames @kayakking
sounds good! u cant stay stuck in that room forever
m.k.🌈 @an-eterni-tea
haha I hope not
<3 @starcr0ssed
okay I was just walking through the halls on the way to the library AND I THINK I JUST SAW MELANIE KING???
ryan evans @allthegoodusernamesweretaken
OMG WHERE DO YOU WORK
<3 @starcr0ssed
I’m not doxxing myself just so her stans can go stalk her lol
lynn (they/them) @lynnlynnlynn
like, ghost hunt uk melanie king????
lynn (they/them) @lynnlynnlynn
I never thought I’d say this but I’m so jealous of where you work now, she’s a legend
js @js460347
I can’t believe someone at work thought I didn’t know what a meme was.
Georgie of What The Ghost!! @what_the_georgie
that’s because when you’re there you dress like an old man
js @js460347
It’s called being professional?
ryan evans @allthegoodusernamesweretaken
hellooooo why is my favourite podcaster commenting on some random person’s posts??? somebody tell me who this I’m dying from curiousity
js @js460347
No.
<3 @starcr0ssed
ugh the fire alarm went off :P
lynn (they/them) @lynnlynnlynn
archives update?
<3 @starcr0ssed
no I don’t think so I think someone just set it off by accident tbh
<3 @starcr0ssed
…okayyyyy never mind, I haven’t seen any of the archives people evacuate the building
<3 @starcr0ssed
or the head of the company actually
<3 @starcr0ssed
okay wow yeah the alarm wasn’t an accident, a bunch of exterminators just showed up? is this related to the worms??
<3 @starcr0ssed
there are police cars now???
<3 @starcr0ssed
ummmmm the boss just came out and told us we all have the week off. still haven’t seen any of the archives staff so I guess they’re all still in there. wtf
Ray @rachelsmith
Are you okay?
<3 @starcr0ssed
yeah, just got home. you got any days off this week? since I apparently now have a lot of free time lol
<3 @starcr0ssed
okay, can confirm fire alarm from the other day WAS apparently because of the worms. they were living in the walls of the archives, apparently, and apparently someone accidentally knocked a hole in the wall (?) or something and a bunch of them came out?
<3 @starcr0ssed
everyone I ask is a bit fuzzy on the details. but apparently they attacked a few people and kind of swarmed the archives?
<3 @starcr0ssed
I have a hard time picturing it, it had to have been a LOT of worms? but there’s your explanation
<3 @starcr0ssed
another wild archives update. apparently they found the body of the old archives boss while clearing out the worms. I’m not joking. nobody knows who killed her either
<3 @starcr0ssed
no I don’t really know where they found it or anything else, I’m still off work, just hearing this from a coworker who asked an exterminator! and apparently he was (annoyingly) also vague on the details
<3 @starcr0ssed
but it seems nobody who works at my job is a suspect atm, so that’s good (I’m taking what I can get lol)
<3 @starcr0ssed
MELANIE KING JUST SHOWED UP AT WORK AGAIN. unfortunately I did NOT see her myself but one of my coworkers did
melanie king is my queen @ghosthuntukfannn
i would literally kill to be you rn
melanie king is my queen @ghosthuntukfannn
…okay, excluding the part about the dead body they found at your job, whoops
<3 @starcr0ssed
THEY JUST FOUND A *SECOND* DEAD BODY IN THE ARCHIVES ????????!!!!!!
lynn (they/them) @lynnlynnlynn
WHAT??? are you okay
<3 @starcr0ssed
yeah I didn’t see it or anything and they let us go home early. but ummmm wtf
lynn (they/them) @lynnlynnlynn
I’m coming over
<3 @starcr0ssed
lol please do, I know I said I wasn’t even there but I’m still kind of rattled
<3 @starcr0ssed
update, apparently they think the murderer is the head of the archives. and he’s on the run from the police. I genuinely could not make this up.
melanie king is my queen @ghosthuntukfannn
like, the same department head from your first ever post about your job? the guy who was promoted because of sexism?
<3 @starcr0ssed
wow I forget that people have now actually gone back to my posts from that long ago. but yeah
m.k.🌈 @an-eterni-tea
I’m not sure how to feel right now
stoking the flames @kayakking
im right there with you
<3 @starcr0ssed
so I was scrolling through our employee database while doing payroll right. and why is Melanie King’s name ON there. ofc I’d assume it was just some random person with the same name if I hadn’t seen THE Melanie King here before, but I have, so does. does Melanie King work here now???? I’m baffled
ryan evans @allthegoodusernamesweretaken
no way melanie king would go work in some dusty old company, i knew this acc was just making stuff up lol
Ray @rachelsmith
I would also think she was making this stuff up if I didn’t know her personally, but I can promise she’s not lying.
ryan evans @allthegoodusernamesweretaken
lolll right i think youre just trying to get followers
js @js460347
Got kidnapped. I wish things would stop happening to me.
<3 @starcr0ssed
so archives boss guy/guy who was ACCUSED OF MURDER is just back in work now and everyone’s acting like it’s fine
<3 @starcr0ssed
oh and can confirm THE Melanie King works here now
<3 @starcr0ssed
I think we’ve kind of lost the plot ngl
<3 @starcr0ssed
and I only saw the murder guy for like a second but he also had a huge bandage on his hand. which I can only assume he got while on the run from the police. I’m not sure how much more of this I can take
lynn (they/them) @lynnlynnlynn
insane that the melanie king thing is the LEAST bizarre thing about this post
js @js460347
I have just recently become aware of this account. Please do not call me “the murder guy”, I was framed and have returned to work because I have finally been acquitted of the crime.
<3 @starcr0ssed
UHHHHHHHHHHHHH
lynn (they/them) @lynnlynnlynn
is that actually the guy you’ve been talking about
<3 @starcr0ssed
YEAH I’M PRETTY SURE
<3 @starcr0ssed
archives guy if you’re reading this please just pretend you never saw my account. I thought I was being vague enough but apparently not 😭
<3 @starcr0ssed
I will not call you murder guy though, sorry
<3 @starcr0ssed
but wtf this is so weird
<3 @starcr0ssed
oh god I hope I don’t get fired over this
<3 @starcr0ssed
although at this point that wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world tbh