Chapter Text
A few months ago..
After Kotetsu lost his powers, he had no choice but to retire from being a hero. It's not somethig he wanted to do, not in a million years but it was long over due. He had discussed it with his family and, even when they all knew just how sad retiring made Kotetsu, they all supported him in his decision. He had also told Barnaby about it. His partner did his best to show his support but that little frown kept showing on his face as they talked about it. Kotetsu couldn't help but find it cute.
"So.. now what, old man? Are you.. you know, going back to Oriental Town?" Barnaby seemed a bit nervous as he asked and when Kotetsu shook his head, the relief in Barnaby's face was immediate. "No. I considered it to be honest but Kaede said she didn't want be to be back just to have me melt into the couch again" he laughed, remembering just how confusing that year of his life had been. "I got my certifications a few days ago. I'm going back to the Hero Academy. I'll work as a counselor there."
Kotetsu raised his glass of beer and had a little sip. When he had officially retired, Agnes had insisted that a goodbye party was needed. "Just imagine the ratings!" she had said. The party was fun, unexpectedly. All the heroes and some sponsors were seen in a fancy ballroom in one of Apollon's buildings. The televised part had been awkward, a little. Kotetsu had to give a speech and thank his sponsors. He wasn't fond of big speeches so he kept it short, thanking everyone who attended, including his precious family, fellow heroes and of course, his trusted partner Barnaby.
"A-Ah, well.. thank you everyone for attending. I.. Well, this is a lttle difficult for me, I suppose. I'm not usually the one in front of the mic, you know? It's more of a Bunny thing.." A few laughs could be heard within the crowd and Kotetsu could see the little smile on his partner's face along with an exasperated sigh. "I just.. hope I was able to help as many people as.. my powers allowed me to. If.. if that was achieved then.. I can leave with no regrets" he nodded. It was really weird saying all of it, admiting publicly that it was just.. over.
However, he did have one regret.
He had to confess to Barnaby.
The older man knew he was in love with his partner. He has known for months now but had decided to keep quiet about it. If Barnaby didn't feel the same, their team work could be affected and he just knew he couldn't risk it. And Barnaby obviously didn't feel the same. The hot young hero could have anyone he wanted at any given moment. Why would he want an old man like him? It was ridiculous to even think about it.
Even so, he started to think a little differently about it after a night at Antonio's and his usual bar.
"He likes you too, you know?" Antonio had said with that deep voice of his after a long 10 minute rant where Kotetsu just couldn't stop talking about how cute Barnaby had been that day. "Huh?" He raised his face from the counter and after staring at his best friend for a few seconds, he scoffed. "C'mon, Antonio. That's impossible". "I'm serious, man. The guy looks at you like you personally hung the moon and the stars" Antonio had laughed, already a bit tipsy. They had spent the last couple of hours talking and drinking. "Nathan thinks so too. Even Keith thinks there's something going on between you two."
When Kotetsu said nothing and went back to placing his face on the counter, Anotnio had sighed. He drank the remaining of his whiskey and placed the glass next to Kotetsu's face. "I'm just saying. He seems the most at ease with you, he spends nights at your place, you both constantly text each other when one of you isn't capable of working. It's like you two are already in a relationship!"
After that, they called it a night and had gone to their respective apartments. There, Kotetsu had dared think "What if..?" He rapidly went through their last week interactions.
1. On Monday, Kotetsu had arrived a lot later than usual at the office. He hadn't heard his alarm clock and had to rush out of his apartment. No time for breakfast. After a thorough scolding from Lloyd's secretary, he had sat on his desk to start his paperwork. Barnaby had also scolded him and left the office. Kotetsu had thought that he was really mad but not even 10 minutes later, Barnaby had returned with a plastic bag that was placed on Kotetsu's desk. "Breakfast" he had simply said. And after a few seconds during which his cheeks turned slightly pink, he added "You will make a lot more mistakes if you don't eat and I don't want to correct them".
2. On Tuesday, Kotetsu made sure to arrive early. To thank his partner for breakfast, he bought coffee for him in a cafe he knew Barnaby liked. With a smug smile he had placed the coffee on Barnaby's desk - who was already there, seriously, at what time does he wake up?. A little surprised Barnaby had smiled. it was a calm, fond smile that made Kotetsu's heart beat a little faster.
3. Wednesday, Lloyds had scheduled an interview for Barnaby and when the interviewer had asked about the rumors of Wild Tiger and Barnaby splitting up, Barnaby's answer had been immediate. "No. Tiger is the only partner I want. He's kind, selfless and brave. Those are baseless rumors and even if I was forced to, i wouldn't want any other partner. Tiger is the only one for me." Kotetsu had been watching the interview on television that night and his face rapidly turned red. "Geez Bunny, you can't just say that out of nowhere.."
4. Thursady... well, he supposed nothing special happened on Thursday but he was starting to see what Antonio was taling about.. Maybe there was something after all. They really did and said things that could be considered more than friendly? He wasn't completely sure but he knew he couldn't not try. A small warm feeling of hope settling in his chest.
That is why he had decided to confess today. He was nervous. Actually, that was an understatement. He was terrified. His hands had not stopped shaking ever since he walked down from the little stage where he had given his speech. "That speech wasn't so terrible" Barnaby said, standing next t o him with a glass of wine on his hand. "Wah, you really suck at compliments Bunny, be nicer to old people!" Both laughed softly and Kotetsu was grateful for a moment, that had helped with his nerves.
It was now or never.
"H-Hey Bunny.. would you mind stepping out with me to the balcony for a second?" He was sure Barnaby had heard the tremble in his voice but he just nodded. He looked confused but thankfully, didn't argue and just followed Kotetsu out of the room and into the balcony. The cold air made both of them shiver a bit but before Barnaby could ask, Kotetsu took a deep breath. "I'm in love with you, Bunny!" There. He had said it. it was out now. No going back.
"Huh.. what?" After what felt like an eternity, Barnaby had answered. He looked shocked and for a moment, Kotetsu wondered if he could see his trembling hands. "I-I said that-" "Ah no, I.. I heard, yes.." Then it was silent for a few minutes, or maybe seconds. Kotetsu just couldn't tell by now.
And then, it all went down.
Barnaby had taken a few steps back and lowered his head as he spoke. "I'm sorry, Kotetsu-san.. I.. I'm really.. I'm honored but I just don't.. I don't feel the same.." Then he rapidly added, as an afterthought "I appreciate you a lot as a friend, of course! But I just.." "Ah, no no, Bunny! I..I expected that but.. well, I thought I had to tell you anyway." Even when could clearly feel his broken heart, Kotetsu didn't want Barnaby to feel guilty. Not ever, but specially not over this. Barnaby's frown was deep and his fists were clenched tightly against his sides. "Kotetsu-san, I'm really sorry.." He whispered and if the music from inside had been any louder, Kotetsu might not had been able to hear it.
"Bunny, really, you don't have to apologize.."
Another long silence followed. They were both unsure on what to say and how to act but finally, Barnaby lifted his head and stepped closer. "Kotetsu-san.."
"You know, Bunny, you should head inside" he tried to keep his voice calm but he wasn't sure he had been successful "I just need a little time to myself and we can go back to.. to pretending this didn't happen." That was honestly the last thing Kotetsu wanted. He was hurting so much, he couldn't breath properly and his chest felt tight. His eyes began to fill with tears against his will. "Shit.." He mumbled and turned to look at the city, avoiding Barnaby's eyes. "I'll g-go back in a few minutes, really.." He had to clear his throat to get his voice out. Barnaby didn't seem conviced and stood there silently, by his side for a few more minutes that felt like torture to Kotetsu before he finally nodded. "Okay.. I'll wait for you there.."
Barnaby turned around and walked inside and, only then, could Kotetsu sighed heavily and allow himself to cry. He rubbed his eyes but the tears were impossible to stop. They kept falling and falling and there was nothing that he could do to stop them. it was difficult to think and to breathe and to.. exist.