Chapter Text
Deku was missing from school.
It wasn’t an important fact or anything. It’s just that Deku never skipped class. The nerd arrived at their classroom everyday, usually five minutes before the bell rings. His hands were always tight around his annoyingly yellow backpack straps, a nervous wobbly smile as he walked to his seat. He always sat close to the back, so every single day he had to walk past Katsuki’s seat.
The boy could simply ignore him and leave him be, but no, every single fucking day he squeaked a small ‘Good morning, Kacchan!’. It got on his nerves. What did the loser even expect? For him to reply? As if.
But Deku didn’t greet him good morning this time, because Deku wasn’t at school.
He could be sick. Flu season was currently ending, but Deku had always been unlucky like that. That couldn’t be it, though. Katsuki had seen the nerd show up to class even with a fever, his disgusting pale sweaty face focused on the teacher’s explanation.
Maybe he was grounded? Auntie could be mad at the shitshow her son had been involved in with the Sludge Villain. She had always been a bit overprotective, maybe she was worried he’d get himself killed. Maybe she decided for him to change schools. Good fucking riddance if that was the case.
Katsuki’s finger tapped against his desk with annoyment, his head resting against his other hand as he took another glance to the classroom’s door. He could simply be late. It wouldn’t be odd for the teen to oversleep. He had probably stayed up watching some nerdy hero show. Deku could walk in any minute now, interrupting the class and ruining everything like he always did.
But he didn’t. The bell rang and there was no sign of the boy. ‘Who cares’ he thought, an exasperated sigh leaving him as Fingers and Teeth surrounded his desk. They started talking but Katsuki decided he had no patience for them today, tuning out their voices and not meeting their gaze.
Maybe he did get himself killed. He could have seen a villain and tried to play the hero again. He could be hurt, lying down on the street with all his bones broken. Maybe he had taken his advice and jumped.
“Woah, Bakugou. Hey, no need to blow up your desk, dude,” Fingers nervously laughed and waved his hands in an appeasing manner.
Katsuki scoffed, irritated, he had been training harder to improve his quirk control lately. His skill while deliberately using it was great, but he still had trouble with his emotions setting off accidental explosions.
“You’re kinda distracted today, what’s on your mind?” Teeth raised an eyebrow at him and Katsuki had to consciously keep his eye from twitching.
“None of your fucking business.”
Glancing towards Deku’s empty seat, he scoffed again.
“Weird of Midoriya to skip class, d’you think you finally scared him away?” Fingers’ chuckles felt like nails on a chalkboard.
It’s not like he hated his friends. If he could even call them friends. They were usually pretty tolerable, even if he held no respect for them. They were always trying to please him and impress him at the same time, most of the time failing at both. But they were loyal. He knew them since childhood, even if they had never been as close to him as Deku.
Actually, they were particularly annoying when they brought up the quirkless boy. But they could be fun at times. Katsuki didn’t really enjoy talking to them, but sometimes listening to them talk to each other was nice. When they were at the arcade, sometimes they forgot about Katsuki’s presence. When they talked to each other it felt lighter, somehow, more carefree. More honest. He hated to admit those were the moments he liked his friends best.
They were stupid though, with no regard for their future. Smoking? Really? Come on. Even Deku was sensible enough not to put that shit in his body.
Katsuki took another glance at the boy’s seat. Surprise, surprise! The seat remained empty. Clicking his tongue, he tried to focus on his friend’s conversation. Deku had better show up the next day.
Deku did show up the next day, five minutes later than usual and barely managing to avoid the teacher. With his usual dorky backpack on but a different expression on his face. He entered the classroom with hesitance on his step, quickly looking around before his eyes landed on his empty seat.
As Deku walked towards it, he locked eyes with Katsuki, who prepared himself to roll his eyes at the usual morning greeting. But it never came. Deku looked away and ignored him as he walked past Katsuki’s desk. What the fuck?
Okay, Katsuki wasn’t an idiot. He could see what was happening. This was all because of the fucking Sludge Villain. Deku had played the hero once and now the conceited asshole thought he was too good for this school. Too good to attend class. Too good to greet Katsuki.
Having to consciously keep his hands from making explosions, he clenched his fists. It had only been one week since the stupid incident. It had only taken one week for the nerd to lose his mind. Did he truly think he was better than Katsuki now?
It was kind of Katsuki’s fault. He had been weak in front of him. Not only that, but he had stopped bothering him at school. He had thought of it as some sort of… apology. No, not an apology, just… an acknowledgement. A way to show him that even if he was super fucking angry at his dumb attempt to “save” him, he did regret those awful words he had said that day. So what? Katsuki tries to do something good for him for once and now the little shit thinks he’s above him? Fuck off.
…
And it was also petty! So fucking childish. He greets him every single morning for ten years straight and now he’s giving him the cold shoulder? It’s not that he cared. Katsuki would be glad to stop hearing that squeaky voice every morning, but this was different. This was on purpose, he was trying to piss him off.
That day Katsuki did not listen to a single word from his teacher. From time to time, he glared to the back of the class, but all Deku did was take notes. He seemed to be paying more attention than usual, a focused expression on his face.
…So he didn’t think he was too good for this school. He only thought he was too good for Katsuki. His jaw would probably hurt later from how much he was grinding his teeth.
When the end of the class was announced, Katsuki planned to wait until everyone left to confront Deku. The boy usually left last, always taking his time to scribble on his notebook. But of course, this time he left early. He seemed to be trying to piss off Katsuki with every single action he did.
“Bakugou! Let’s go to the arcad-”
“Fuck off.”
Shrugging off Fingers, he gathered his things and hurriedly left the classroom. He chased Deku down and found him at the entrance of the school, already heading back home.
“Deku!” He called, but the bastard didn’t even turn around. The fuck?
“What the fuck, Deku?” Grabbing his shoulder to make him turn around, Katsuki heard the boy yelp and look at him with eyes widened with fear. When he recognized him, his round eyes relaxed and he gave Katsuki a wobbly smile.
“Hi.”
“‘Hi?’ The fuck you mean ‘hi’?” Letting go of his shoulder and scowling at him, he clenched his fists.
“Oh, um. Sorry! You must be-”
“Pissed off. I’m fucking pissed off, Deku.”
“Yes, I understand! I’m sorry for not greeting you today.” A sincere look in his green eyes, Katsuki almost felt himself relax. “It’s just that I wasn’t sure it was you.”
“Hah?!”
“You’re much taller and your face isn’t as round as in the pictures. Well, you do have chubby cheeks… Not in a bad way! It’s cute! I mean, it’s just that no one looks the same as they did when they were kids. But your eyes are the same color! And your hair, it’s very distinctive, it helped me recognize you quite easily. But like I said, I wasn’t sure it was you and-”
Katsuki felt his anger be overtaken by confusion. The nerd had been spewing out pure nonsense and he wasn’t sure what was more unreal: Deku somehow not recognizing him, or Deku thinking his cheeks were cute. What the fuck.
“Slow the fuck down, nerd. What the hell are you talking about?” The idiot could be having a fucking aneurysm for all he knew.
“Oh! Yeah, um, sorry. I should have started with an explanation.” Deku chuckled nervously and rubbed his neck. “I was hit by a quirk yesterday.”
“What kind of quirk?” Katsuki raised an eyebrow, annoyed at the fact that this was becoming the longest conversation he had with the nerd in the whole year. His curiosity won, though, and he waited as patiently as he could while Deku played with his backpack’s straps.
“An amnesia quirk.” Deku looked at the ground embarrassed. “I can’t remember anything.”
“Huh?” Katsuki looked at him, mouth agape. This had to be a fucking joke.
“I only recognized you from some childhood pictures at my house, Katsuki, sorry.” Katsuki? What the actual fuck? “And don’t take it personally! I can’t even recognize my mom, so…”
A humorless laugh left the freckled boy and Katsuki frowned in silence. After a minute, Deku started fidgeting in place and tried to fill the silence.
“But it’s okay! It’s probably time-sensitive so you’ll get him- you’ll get me back soon!” Grinning at him, Deku got closer to Katsuki. “I was thinking you could help me a bit, if you don’t mind. I would love to learn more about his- about my life! You must know a lot about me. Because we’re friends, right?”
This was a lot. This was a fucking lot to process. What the actual fuck. Katsuki shouldn’t be panicking right now, but this day was turning out completely different to his expectations. He had chased Deku down to yell at him, maybe give him an empty threat or two. But this?
Deku was still waiting for an answer.
“Uh, something like that,” Katsuki mumbled.
“Great! You could start by telling me which way’s home, ‘cause if I’m being honest I was completely distracted this morning when my mom showed me the way,” Deku seemed much more comfortable now. Casually joking and giving Katsuki playful nudges.
The boy had probably thought Katsuki was mad because he had been ignored. Which wasn’t very far from the truth. He thought they were friends; and now that he had apologized for ignoring his friend, he probably felt like he had found a new ally. Deku didn’t remember him. Deku didn’t remember any of his words.
“We live in the same direction,” Katsuki grunted and started walking his way home. Deku hurried to catch up to him and walked next to him with a smile.
They walked in silence for a few blocks. It was strange, the whole situation; walking peacefully next to Deku with no memories. Was this even true? Had Deku actually gotten hit by a quirk? Maybe he was making this all up to make fun of him. It would be an extremely complex prank, though, and Deku wasn’t like that… right?
Katsuki’s thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a voice full of wonder.
“Woah! Is that your quirk? That’s amazing!” Fuck. He was losing control again.
It felt familiar to hear Deku’s praises, though. It was reassuring to know that even now, seeing his quirk for the first time amazed the freckled teen. “They are explosions, right? How does that work? Can you only make them with your hands? Does it hurt? How strong can they be? That’s a powerful quirk! You could be a great hero with it!”
“No, not great.” Deku tilted his head a bit with confusion. “I’m going to be the best. You’re looking at the future number one hero, nerd.”
Deku blinked slowly as he stared at him before a huge grin overtook his face. Shit, he was practically glowing.
“That’s amazing! You’re so cool, Katsuki!”
An uncomfortable feeling overcame him at the sound of his name. It sounded so fucking awkward in the nerd’s mouth. It’s not that he liked being called ‘Kacchan’. It was ridiculous. Childish.
…But at least he was used to it. And it did feel kind of good to get special treatment. He had never heard Deku use such an affectionate honorific with someone else. Even with girls, in the rare occasions he talked to them, he had always used a respectful ‘-san’. Still, it’s not like Katsuki could just go and ask to be called ‘Kacchan’, that was stupid. And pathetic.
“It’s the sweat,” Katsuki said, deciding to indulge Deku’s rambling curiosity, “it’s similar to nitroglycerin. I produce it in my palms, ignite it and…”
Boom. A small explosion came out of his hand. It’s not like he was showing off to Deku, he had no reason to impress him. But when his eyes shone, Katsuki felt a sense of achievement.
It was rare too. Usually when he set off explosions near the nerd, he trembled in fear. This Deku only stared amazed and got even closer. Excitement clear in his movements, the boy quickly grabbed Katsuki’s hand between his to inspect it, rambling about possible quirk functions and drawbacks.
As soon as their hands touched, Katsuki snatched his hand away instinctively. Taking a step back for good measure.
“What the hell?! I could have blown your hand off, you dumbass!”
“Oh! Uhm, sorry…I wasn’t trying to-” Stuttering, his voice losing volume, Deku sheepishly looked away.
“Just- Just ask next time you do something like that.” Fuck, now he was stuttering too? Was being a social mess contagious? What the hell!
Trying to put an end to their conversation, Katsuki resumed walking. A moment later, he heard the nerd catching up.
“Um, I think it would help if you told me more about us.”
“Hah?”
“It’s just… I’m not sure how to behave around you! I have no idea who you are but I know who you are supposed to be.” Deku frowned, frustrated. “My childhood friend… That’s a dynamic that develops over a long time, but I don’t have a long time and I don’t want to ruin your relationship with him- with me!”
Katsuki stared at him, slight shock showing on his face. When he didn’t respond, Deku spoke again. “Just… tell me how to act, please?”
“Jeez, nerd,” Katsuki shook his head, disbelief in his smirk, “You’re overthinking it.”
“Uh, yeah, you’re probably right.” A small chuckle left the freckled boy, the mood already feeling lighter.
“Just… Be yourself, I guess. You won’t ruin anything or whatever.” Katsuki shrugged. He wasn’t lying, everything was already ruined between them, it couldn’t possibly get worse.
“You’re a good friend, Katsuki. I can see why he-I liked you.” Deku softly smiled at him and Katsuki knew exactly what to do.
“Kacchan.”
“Huh?”
“My name. You call me Kacchan.” Fuck, this was embarrassing.
“Oh!” Freckled cheeks turned slightly red at his words. “Okay! That’s cute! Um, I mean! It makes sense. It felt really weird to call you Katsuki, for some reason. I guess my tongue wasn’t used to the word!”
“Yeah, yeah, save it. We’re here.”
Katsuki thanked the world that they had gotten to the nerd’s apartment already. This conversation was turning weirder and weirder with each word they spoke. Deku looked surprised at seeing his house, though. The idiot had probably gotten distracted by their conversation and paid no attention to the path they took.
“Thank you so much for walking me home, Kacchan!” Deku beamed at him and Katsuki looked away, glaring at an innocent lamp post instead.
“Do you even remember the way back to school?”
“...No.”
“Is your mom showing you again tomorrow?”
“...No.” Deku had the decency to look ashamed, looking to the ground with his head down. “She has to work tomorrow, and she already went in late today because of me.”
“Shit.” Katsuki pinched the bridge of his nose for a second before glaring at Deku. “Be ready at 8. One minute late and I’m leaving without you.”
“Yes! Thank you, Kacchan!” Deku nodded eagerly and Katsuki scoffed.
“Whatever.” As he walked away, he heard the nerd saying goodbye with a quick ‘See you tomorrow!’. He responded by raising a hand, waving dismissively, not sparing the boy a glance.
His house was a few blocks away, in the school direction. Fuck. Had he really gone out of his way to walk Deku home? What the hell. Did he actually promise to walk him to school the next day? What the hell was he thinking?
It’s not like he could take it back now. And the thought of a Deku waiting outside his house only to be stood up was not amusing, just sad. Plus, if the nerd attempted to go to school on his own, he’d probably get lost and get hit by another quirk. He could get attacked by a villain. Did he even know how to call 911? How severe was his memory loss?
Groaning out loud, he set off a few small explosions to blow off steam. Why the hell was he worrying about the guy that much? From one moment to the other, he felt somehow responsible for the boy’s well being. Maybe it was because he was the only one who could sort of help Deku. Who else would? His mom was at work, and his classmates acted like he didn’t exist when they weren’t laughing at him.
That same morning Katsuki would have been pleased to hear about the nerd getting lost on the way to school, but since he saw Deku’s eyes sparkle at him the way they used to do when they were kids… Fuck.
Katsuki felt oddly ashamed at seeing this as an opportunity. This Deku had no bad memories. This Deku had no reason to be insecure. This Deku hadn’t been bullied for years. This Deku didn’t look down on him. This Deku smiled at him genuinely, no fear in his eyes. This Deku had never been told to jump.
It was selfish. If he continued to hide the fact he was his bully, and act like they had always been friends… It was simply wrong. It would be a clean slate, but also a way to avoid the shitty stuff he’d done and said. He didn’t deserve forgiveness for something he had not even apologized for. And what would happen once he got back his memories?
But he couldn’t tell him the truth. At the moment, Katsuki was Deku’s only ally. If he told him the truth, the teen would obviously not want anything to do with him. This Deku wouldn’t relentlessly follow him like he used to. He had no misguided loyalty to Katsuki. He would probably stay away. But the bullying didn’t only come from Katsuki, other kids could continue to pick on the nerd. He needed to be protected. He needed to stay in that oblivious world where no one bullied him and he had a friend.
It was extremely messed up. But… had their relationship ever been anything else?