Chapter Text
Despite having spent a whole year abroad, this mission feels like the longest one he’s ever been on. Yuuta wants nothing more than to turn around and head straight back to campus, back to the boy who holds his heart.
He can still feel the short and sweet press of Toge’s lips to his own. The elation he felt when it happened still buzzes through his chest. It makes focusing on the task at hand extremely difficult.
Thankfully he’s only here for supervision this time, to watch over the first years and step in if something happens to go wrong. Gojo has been playing it close ever since the incident back at the hospital, he doesn’t want any of his students to end up outmatched like that again.
Man, screw the higher ups.
It wouldn’t be so bad if the whole thing wasn’t a three-day trip away from campus, away from Toge. He would call him to pass the time, but he knows if he did that now he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from confessing right then and there. And well, he wants to do that in person.
He's never been happier for the long train ride home. Even the first years can tell something’s up. Nobara makes a teasing offhanded comment about him missing Toge, only to gawk in surprise when Yuuta’s face flushes red.
The trip back is long and arduous and boring, and yet despite having all the time in the world to plan what he’s going to do once he finally steps back into their dorms, he doesn’t have a clue.
He doesn’t think of anything really, not even bothering to drop off his things before heading straight to Toge’s door.
Toge answers on the first knock. Yuuta was going to say something, he was, but it all left his head at the sight of Toge dressed down in shorts and an oversized tee, his cursed seals on full display. Suddenly he can’t remember what’s kept him from kissing the boy all those times before, right now, it seems impossible.
Time seems to have stopped, the rest of the world fades away while Toge blinks up at him with owlish eyes. He takes a step closer, crossing the doorway into Toge’s room. An unspoken barrier between them melting away as he gently sets down his travel bag and katana off to the side. His eyes never leaving Toge’s.
Slowly, he reaches out to cup his cheeks, his hands falling right where the cursed marks frame his lips and smoothing his thumbs over the soft skin. He watches purple eyes go wide for a moment before softening. He takes in a breath of his own. Toge is so, so beautiful, he’s always been beautiful.
He leans in slowly, tilting his head just so, hoping that he can convey his question without words. Normally he would ask, he’s always imagined himself asking first, but his tongue is tied up from the sheer nerves and ardor. Thankfully Toge’s never needed words to understand, it’s part of what makes him so wonderful. His arms slide around Yuuta’s neck in return, eyes dropping to his lips right before Yuuta closes his own.
They meet in the middle, his nose presses into Toge’s cheek and the space between them vanishes. Toge’s lips are sweet and wonderful and so, so right against his own.
Who knew love could feel this good?
They start slowly, but something in Yuuta urges him to move faster, faster, faster. To make up for the lost time of the past three days, for the year he spent in Africa, for all the time he could have confessed, but didn’t. His hands slide into Toge’s hair, so soft and fine, and he presses three, four, five hard kisses onto his lips. Toge responds in kind, tilting his head more and opening his mouth, pressing their bodies ever impossibly closer.
Small noises reverberate from the back of the boy’s throat. Low hums and breaths that spur Yuuta on. He doesn’t really know what he’s doing, it’s messy and uncoordinated, but it feels so right. He’s dreamed about this for so long now, it’s so much different than he imagined, Toge pressing back eagerly, giving just as much as he gets, Yuuta’s drowning in it.
Fingers trail down over his collar and begin to fiddle with the buttons on his uniform jacket. Sucking in a gasp when he feels warm hands splayed across his shoulders, burning even through his t-shirt. Reluctantly, he lets go of Toge for just a second to let his jacket fall off his shoulders and onto the floor somewhere behind him. Hands immediately finding purchase around Toge’s waist once they’re free.
It's too much, it’s not enough. Yuuta has the boy he loves in his arms finally, finally. It’s completely overwhelming, the affection he feels. Toge urges him forward into his room and he has just enough sense left in his brain to kick the door closed behind him as he goes. He moves to press kisses on Toge’s cheeks next, trailing them open mouthed up to his ear and back down the underside of his jaw. Down to where his collarbone peeks out from his oversized shirt, delighting in the sharp gasp he hears in response.
“I love you.” The words pour out of his mouth in between partings of lips, breathless. “I love you,” a kiss to the marks on the corners of his lips. “Is it too early to say that? Because I do, I love you, Toge.”
Yuuta doesn’t know if he’s ever simply just liked someone. Maybe he has, but by the time he realized it, it had already grown into full-blown, all-consuming love.
But then Toge’s pulling back, placing his hands on Yuuta’s chest to stop him from chasing before curling them around himself protectively. And Yuuta feels the loss so keenly, cold all over now that Toge’s no longer touching him. There’s a fear glistening his eyes as he stares back at Yuuta.
“Are you sure?” He signs with shaking hands. “That you’re okay with this? With me?”
“I don’t… what do you mean?”
“Do you really want to be with me? I’m not… I’m someone who will never be able to speak without consequences. I’ll never be able to talk to you or call you mine or… or…”
There are tears welling up in his eyes and it breaks Yuuta’s heart.
“…or tell you that I love you back.”
“Oh Toge.” Is this what he’s been worried about all this time? “None of that matters to me. You’re…”
Incredible, amazing, magnificent, perfect. None of the words feel like they can encompass all Yuuta feels for him. To think all this time Toge has been worried that he wouldn’t be enough for Yuuta, that his curse would be seen as a detriment, when to Yuuta it’s anything but.
Toge’s so kind, so generous, always thinking about others before himself, always doing his best to make those around him feel comfortable and welcomed in a school meant for outcasts. And yet somehow he thinks of himself as a burden.
“I love it when you say my name, I love that you can say so much with only a few words, I love watching you sign, I love to hear your laugh, you have such a beautiful laugh, Toge. Did you know that?”
The boy hiccups in front of him. Slowly but surely, Yuuta sees the walls he instinctively keeps up around him begin to fall. The tension lifts from his shoulders as Yuuta comes to cradle his face in his palms once again.
“I never need to hear those words out loud, because it’s you. You’re the only… the only one for me. I just wanted you to know.”
“But I do.” He signs back frantically, putting just enough space between them for his hands. “I do, I do. I love you, Yuuta. I love you so much.”
Yuuta breaks down into tears immediately. He didn’t realize how badly he wanted to see Toge say that. That he’s loved.
Toge loves him.
“Yuuta?” Purple eyes look back at him with concern, hands coming up to wipe the tears off his cheeks as they fall.
“Sorry, sorry.” He chokes out, smiling wide and genuine through the tears and scrubbing at his face. “I’m just happy.”
Toge presses his face into his chest to muffle a wet laugh. Yuuta is happy to melt into the embrace. Wrapping his arms back around Toge’s slender waist and pulling him ever closer, burying his face into his shoulder to press a kiss there.
“I love you.”
Toge hums and Yuuta feels the vibrations through his ribcage. “Shake, shake.”
Eventually Toge manages to tug Yuuta into bed with him, fighting to get Yuuta to stop trying to kiss him for just one second. He fumbles awkwardly with his shoes, kicking them off in a haste. The minute Yuuta hits the mattress Toge wraps his arms tightly around him, tangling their legs together and clinging to him.
They’re a mess of kisses and cuddles and tangled up limbs, both still teary eyed from the emotional high of it all. Yuuta finds that Toge’s hair is silken under his fingers and that his lips are sweet and syrupy. He twitches when Yuuta tries to kiss the juncture between his neck and shoulder, he must be ticklish there. He smells like the flowery lavender soap he uses; with a trace of the chamomile tea he makes for himself in the evenings. He wants to soak it all in and never let go.
His mind is still hung up on Toge’s revealed insecurity. Even though it doesn’t matter to Yuuta whether or not Toge can speak those words out loud, it still matters to Toge.
“Maybe we could find a new word for you? If you wanna say it that way.”
Toge pulls back from a kiss he placed on Yuuta’s cheek and shakes his head resolutely. Keeping his eyes locked on Yuuta’s he tilts Yuuta’s head so their foreheads press together. In the space between them he whispers one word:
“Yuuta.”
“O-oh. That’s- t-that’s…” Not at all what he was expecting. He doesn’t know if he’ll ever be able to hear his name the same way again, not from Toge’s lips.
The boy wears a roguish grin. “Yuuuuuta.” He lilts, teasing him more after noticing his fluster. Poking the red on Yuuta’s cheeks with a smirk.
Yuuta tries to bat his prodding hands away, whining. “Togeee.” Succeeding in capturing both his hands and pressing short kisses to his lithe fingers. When he looks back he’s caught up in those wide eyes again and another wave of complete adoration hits him.
“Darling.” He tests the word on his tongue, sees Toge freeze up in front of him. “Sweetheart,” he muses. “My sweet Toge. My love.”
Toge flinches suddenly, jerking back and pulling the bedsheets up and over his head. He shuffles further under the covers and headbutts Yuuta in the stomach. “Sorry,” Yuuta says through a fit of chuckles. “Too much?”
He receives another headbutt in response.
“Ok, ok, I’m sorry.” He tries to reach down and uncover the bundle of bedsheets, only to be met with fierce resistance.
“Come out? Please?”
He hears a grumble, then a head pops out, cheeks aflame and a petulant pout set on his face, hair mussed and fluffy.
“There you are.” He reaches out to hold him again, only for Toge to crawl back up and cling to Yuuta once again, squeezing his chest and burying his face in the crook of his shoulder. He feels him exhale a warm breath on his neck, feels his muscles relax again. How wonderful is this? To have Toge wrapped up in his arms, safe and carefree and his. Something about it makes Yuuta relax in return, knowing Toge is here, knowing that he’ll be here tomorrow, and the day after that. Toge holds onto him so protectively, and it melts Yuuta’s anxieties away. He finds himself getting sleepy, wrapped in the comfort of the arms of the boy he loves. Somewhere in the middle of it all, he drifts off to sleep, ready for whatever life has to throw at them next.
They’ll take it all on together.