Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Let me see if I got this right…” I mutter angrily as I glare at the object I’m holding at the moment.

The object being a black and green sphere with a single orange line that crosses horizontally the entire thing and comes together at a single spot where a little red button is right at the middle.

A Dusk ball.

Where I found it you ask? In an orange bag inside a medium sized tent where I woke up. With said tent being in the middle of a small clearing on the woods, illuminated only by a small bonfire outside and the full moon shining its light from the starry sky above.

“Not only I'm Isekai’d into Pokémon for having the audacity of laying down to sleep early, but I have to deal with the utter bullshit of also being genderbent!?” I yell and immediately regret doing so upon hearing an unfamiliar, feminine and raspy voice that badly hurts my throat just from talking slightly higher than a normal conversation volume.

*Cough!*

*Cough!*

Making my way out of the tent, I shake my closed pale fists at the stars above and give them the middle finger.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Deliberately trying to calm down my anxiety and anger, I store the pokeball on the left pocket of the lilac kimono I’m wearing. Then I pick my old phone that somehow still came along for the ride inside the other pocket and turn it on.

Let's see.

‘72% battery, no Google, no Youtube, no games I’ve installed and literally nothing else remaining besides that one Loop app I downloaded to hear music plus some other basic apps like the calculator.” What the hell happened to it... Did a Porygon ate everything or something?

Shaking away the weirdness, I reluctantly open the camera and put it to face me.

Imagine my surprise when the person staring back from the screen has a pair of manic, purple swirling pupils and an even darker purple disheveled hair beneath a fedora that is -Guess what- also purple.

The only good thing I can say out of this, is that I look dapper as hell despite the repeated purple theme.

…

Look, I was somewhat okay-ish with the possibility of being isekai’d in a normal scenario.

If that were the case, I would still have the small chance of going back to my old life and hopefully undo all the mess my disappearing may have caused in the meantime as long as I could find the nearest dimensional hopper or something.

That being said…

“How the hell am I supposed to do that as a Hex Maniac!? *Cough!* Are you screwing with me? Because I swear in the name of every single *Cough!* deity I know of I’ll find a way to *Cough!* kick your a-“ My rant gets interrupted by a annoyed voice echoing inside my mind.

‘Listen, I don’t have the slightest clue about what or why you’re doing your best impression of an Exploud at the skies for everyone to hear in the middle of the night. But if you young lady don’t shut up and let me rest, I’ll put you to sleep by force.’ Sternly states the voice and I get a feeling of it coming somewhere from my right.

Quickly looking at the tree line, I can only watch in surprise at the figure of a Gardevoir emerging from the shadows with her glowing red eyes.

'Looks like she is just about done with everyone’s else bullshit for the week if the very slumped shoulders and visible eyebags are any hint.'

“Oh! Sorry about that *Cough* Ma’am, I’ll keep my plans of punching God to myself then. Have a good sleep and sorry for the disturbance.” I quickly apologize with a strained smile for the  Gardevoir, who flinched for some odd reason.

‘Nice job, not even fifteen minutes after having your life fucked over by some bastard and you already disturbed the local peace.’ I kick myself for shouting like a lunatic in the middle of the night.

The only result I got for yelling like that was a completely sore throat, incapable of saying anything louder than a whisper.

‘Okay then, just try not to disturb the other dwellers of the forest. They might not be as kind as me after all.’ She says while starting to float back into the woods.

“Wait! I just have two questions before you go.” I hush with urgency, hoping that she could still hear me anyway.

'Please tell me she heard me, my voice is almost gone at this point.'

Slowly turning to look back at me, she crosses her arms and I get the impresssion of her quirking a single brow.

‘And that would be?’ Comes her reply with a slight hint of impatience and curiosity.

“In what region am I and where is the nearest human settlement?” I ask awkwardly.

…

*Slap*

She facepalms and slowly drags her hand across her face as she debates whether I’m fucking with her or if I’m genuinely lost like an idiot.

I avert my gaze from the silent stare I receive for the next ten seconds, one so judgmental that makes me feel like digging a hole to hide myself and not come out for a few days.

‘Oh Arceus, you’re serious… You’re in Hoenn! Did a Geodude hit you on the head or something!? I swear that these trainers of today are getting dumber and dumber. *Sigh* Anyway, the nearest human town is Oldale, just go south and you’ll exit somewhere on a route nearby’ She starts replying utterly shocked at my lack of common sense and finishes completely exhausted while pointing somewhere to my left.

“Thank you for the information, if there’s anything I can do to help just ask away then.” I thank her for the information and wisely don’t snap back at the roast I just received from the psychic.

That seemed to get her attention if the lifting of her shoulders and small smile on her face is any hint.

‘Yes! can you do me a favor of waiting here until tomorrow evening? I’ll need a favor with something I’ve been struggling for seven full moons.’ She says with a hopeful expression.

“I’m not certain if I’ll be able to help, but I sure as hell am going to try. Consider me at your disposal at any time!” I answer honestly before realizing that the end of it sounded just plain wrong out of context.

Throwing her hands in the air in sheer exasperation and muttering a few obscenities about how she only meets weirdos in her life, the psychic leaves without any fanfare.

Well, that’s awkward.

…

“Hmm, Hoenn heh? At least I’m not dealing with time and space gods. Just need to deal with two psychopaths wanting to control Kaijus that can casually reshape entire continents on a whim, the Legendary Sky Danger Noodle and a comet that may or may not come to crash on the region with an Alien inside it. This is fine™” I chuckle a little, bordering the hysterical side of the scale from all the absurd bullshit I may have to deal with.

Walking to the bonfire and sitting down, I pick the Dusk Ball I’ve stored in my pocket and debate whether or not I should release whatever ‘mon is in there.

“Eh, it’s not like a freaking Hydreigon is going to burst out of it right?” I mutter amusedly as I point the device to the open space at my right and press the button.

*Poof!* A beam of red light lands on the humid blades of grass and forms a bat like shape before fully materializing

“Bat!?” The Pokémon in question screeches as it is currently facing away from me and looking around the tree line in panic, completely unaware that I’m literally at its side.

I note that it has a mint colored fur that covers the entirety of the back on its wings, face, inner ears and feet.

With the only exception being a few places having black or grey colors at the nose, outer side of the ears and both upper and lower torso.

“A shiny Noibat!” I hiss in excitement while struggling very hard not to fist pump the air or start tearing up in happiness at the seventy and something centimeters tall mint colored bat.

‘Were they always this big?’ I can’t remember if they are.

“Noi!” It squeaks when it finally notices me and its black pupils visibly dilate inside the bright yellow sclera .

It's then that I remembered that this is essentially a super powered wild animal that may not be friendly at all.

‘Oh shi-‘

The bat's wings immediately springs open and with a single flap flies directly at my face before I could react, closing them around my head and snuggling against my cheek in delight.

‘Oof, for a moment there I thought it was going to rip off my face.’ I sigh in relief as I begin petting the adorable and trembling poor thing, receiving even more snuggles as reward.

__________________

After six minutes petting the needy Pokémon, it finally calmed down and settled on my lap. It looked very content with tilting their head from side to side in happiness as I cuddled their fluffy ears.

All the while doing a herculean effort of not staring at the two additions on my chest.

Eventually my curiosity wins against my self-restraint and I end up asking the classic question that I’m obligated to make.

“Are you a boy or a girl? Tilt to the left for boy and right for girl” I prompt the not so small creature now looking up at me with curiosity.

*Tilt*

“A big girl then. Gotcha.” I smile a little at the adorable, oversized bat who also beams back at me with her incredibly sharp teeth and pair of fangs.

‘I take back what I’ve said. I meant to say adorably dangerous oversized bat’ I correct myself while scratching her head.

“Ba!~” She squeaks in pure bliss, almost melting at the touch.

'Why the fuck, are you so cute?' Do you want me to have diabetes? Because I’m very sure I will have at this rate.

“I’m naming you Nanachi, it’s the name of someone who is just as adorable as you.” Hopefully you won’t have as much tragedy in your life as the original did…

__________________

A while later I had to concede defeat and go to sleep.

But not after discovering that for some reason when I tried to ask if Nanachi wanted to sleep in her pokeball, she started breathing heavily and zoned out for a few minutes.

Not even calling for her or snapping my fingers in front of her eyes worked.

Only when I hugged her from behind, slowly scratched her back and wings in circular motions and said it was okay for a few minutes did she snap back.

‘Okay then, being in the pokeball is definitely between Nope and Hell no at the moment’ I conclude while trying to calm down the still accelerated heartbeat from her.

If I remember correctly the manga, the space inside pokeballs for the Pokémon was very small. Maybe she has claustrophobia and this is what caused her panic attack?

‘Given her reaction I’m betting that it is’

Therefore, the only choice available for now is to settle down inside the tent with a big ass Noibat that's glued to my torso and seems unwilling to be letting go any time soon.

‘And have her outside at all times…’

When she evolves this may become quite a problem if I need to go at the PokéMart or Pokémon Center.

And that’s disregarding the fact that she looks like someone painted her using a mint colored Neon with how bright is she is.

That’s definitely going to bring Team Rocket's attention if when they discover.

…

‘Fuck it, I’ll just deal with it when I actually need to. Otherwise just ignore the issue and hope for the best’

After a few minutes staring at the blue ceiling of the tent, feeling the darkness begin to appear at the edges of my vision, I for a brief moment have two questions for the future to come.

One: How much money can I make if I plagiarize invent Uno and Monopoly

Two: What is the limit that I’m allowed to perform a Strategic Transfer of Equipment to Alternate Locations technique from two eco-terrorist groups until it's considered theft by the law and not have said eco-terrorists deciding to send their admins to hunt me down?

Chapter Text

Next morning I wake up by the sound of chirping Taillows and howling Poochyenas deep inside the forest, feeling the rays of the morning sun heating up my temporary home.

It would be a very nice feeling if the outside temperature wasn’t somewhere between 26 and 33 degrees Celsius.

‘Feels like I’ve slept inside a sauna instead of a comfy bag.’ I think lethargically as I almost gauge my own eye out while trying to remove the blemish.

Apparently I’ve forgotten that my fingernails are longer now and only remembered when I hissed in pain at accidentally poking it.

‘I really shouldn’t have slept over my right arm, now I can’t even feel my fingers from the lack of blood circulation.’

When I try to lift myself and release my numb arm, I suddenly feel more or less 12kg of resistance currently grumbling on my chest.

Fortunately, it takes only fifteen seconds for my brain to achieve enough clarity and give me the rundown of what happened last night.

"Baa..." Nanachi mutters while doing her best burying her face inside the kimono’s cleavage and block the brightness coming through the walls.

At the reminder that I wasn't alone, I look down at the groaning Noibat with her limbs spread all over me and poke the ears of unresponsive bat with a pale finger.

*Poke* *Poke*

Not a single twitch or response I get by prodding the sleepy pokémon with her face neatly inserted between the pair of mounds.

"Lucky bastard, what wouldn't I do to switch places with you right now..." I mutter in fake annoyance at the scene.

And to my deep amusement she’s back asleep after five seconds.

‘I feel ya bud, I also hate mornings. But that still doesn't change the fact I'll be waking you up later though.’

Choosing to wait a few minutes just doing nothing and enjoying the sound of the forest around us, I stay there relaxing as much as I could until the heat became too much for me and couldn't take it anymore.

"Aaat..." Echoes the muffled whine from my partner as her big slice of heaven disappears.

Feeling a little guilty, I move her to the extra pillow at my left. Where she sleepily lays face down and idly spreads her wings into a more comfortable position. Knocking aside a nearby... phone charger?

‘I didn’t even notice that it was also dragged here yesterday.’ At least lack of music won’t be a problem anymore.

Looking around the place, I spot right at the left corner near the entrance what I wanted to check more carefully.

Walking over it, I pick the orange backpack and search for any kind of tent manual for me to disassemble the damn thing without screwing up anything in the process.

The backpack is way bigger than I expected.

The lower and middle openings stored five standard pokeballs, a few potions plus antidotes, and a change of clothes that to no one’s particular surprise were variations of purple, lilac and black.

'Is it bad that I actually started to like the fucking colors?' I mean, it kind of fits the theme y'know?

“Please tell me that there are jeans or t-shirts around here.” I plead in despair as I remove them to take a better look.

It didn’t.

My search only finds long dresses, big sweaters, hoodies, shoes, panties, bras, a long purple cloak that reaches my ankles and goes along with a familiar looking conical hat containing a single star at its center, and a rubber dagger that goes through the middle of said hat.

‘Well, at least I already have my Carnival fantasy ready.’ Although I’m pretty sure literally no one will catch the Witchdagger reference. 

…

Wait, does something similar to Carnival or Halloween even exist here in the first place?

'Unova should celebrate Halloween since it's inspired on the USA and all...'

Shaking my head at the stray thought, I return at the task of opening the main zipper and find myself pleasantly surprised at the sheer quantity of items crammed inside.

Ten tupperwares filled with Ham & Cheese sandwiches;

Twenty Oran berries shoved inside a plastic bag;

One umbrella;

One hair comb;

Three bags full of tampons;

Five toilet papers;

Two towels;

One Make-up Box that I don’t have any intention to use besides roleplaying as a killer clown;

A small device with a piece of paper written ‘Trainer card’ using my own calligraphy attached to it;

A Frying Pan;

One bullet journal covered with an obscene amount of ghost type stickers on its front;

Two pens with black ink;

One flashlight;

A –I shit you not– fucking Disco ball;

Two water bottles;

An eye patch;

One bulky Boombox;

Seven Glitter bombs;

A solar charger with a cable connected to it;

Six ritual candles;

One box of matchsticks;

A dusk stone;

Two cans of red paint;

The damned manual I was looking for;

One ‘crystal’ ball made of cheap plastic.

Five books about the supernatural;

And at last but not least: A very derpy looking shiny Rayquaza plushie.

...

With googly eyes.

*Shake!* *Shake!*

His mouth just opened a little and now looks even more adorable with the still spinning eyes.

"Dear God Arceus, is this what Perfection looks like?" I ask in the most reverential tone I can muster as I hold at eye level something that could make Michelangelo himself weep in awe if he were to witness such a masterpiece.

One so majestic that managed to turn the simple task of putting it away into a test of perseverance and willpower as I struggled to release the plushie from my hands, going as far as forcefully prying my fingers open because they wouldn't release their grasp from Divinity made reality.

Do note that I had to do it while trying to ignore my inner child screaming at me for my fucking audacity of not playing more with it.

Only after ten agonizing minutes did I succeed in putting it back, and was finally able of focusing at the very important item I've set on my lap while I fussed everything.

Grabbing the Trainer Card, I flip it open and press the power button.

*Click*

It takes only a few seconds for the grey device to boot and show me some crucial information that was sorely lacking until now.

__________________

Energy: 74%

Date: 02/05/1994 - 9AM

IDNo. 37882

Sponsor: None

Name: Lilah Misfortune

Birthdate: 03/08/1978

3000¥

Badges: 0

First activation: 01/05/1989

Pokémon: ???, Empty, Empty, Empty, Empty, Empty.

1 New message (Spam detected): ‘We’ve been trying to reach you about your bicycle’s extend warranty, you should’ve received a…’

__________________

Taking a few moments to look with more detail at the information, I turn the Trainer Card off, store it back and grab a bottle to refill all the water I’m losing by sweating.

'I get to relive the experience of being a 15 year old teen bullshit again eh? Here's hoping this time around won't suck as much as it did before.'

...

No, focus dumbass! I should be trying to worry about the error displaying interrogation signs, this cold feeling of dread my new name gives me and the possibility of Arceus himself being the one making all this shit up while secretly being a huge troll during the process.

Since the card has a paper written with my calligraphy, the fact of a fucking Frying Pan and eye patch being found on my item check-up, my birthday simply switching the day with the month if the American format is anything to go by, and the fact that even after going to another universe I still get these damned warranty spams…

It’s probably safe to chalk it up on Arceus helping me out with documentation while at the same time still finding a way to screw with me.

*Grrllkk* Rumbles my stomach as it complains of still being empty.

'I guess a small breakfast isn't looking that bad of an idea right now...' I concede as I stand up with the backpack on my left shoulder and go wake up the snoring bat.

__________________

40 minutes later.

*Pftt!* I sputter by the sixth time as another stray breeze blows my hair into my face just as I’m yawning, making me inhale a bunch of purple strands instead of oxygen.

‘I really should bind it with a rubber band or some shit. A ponytail would probably do the job of keeping from choking to death on my sleep.’

Looking around from the shade of the trees, I watch some pokémons like Seedots, Lotads and a small pack of Zigzagoons occasionally walking by our camp with passing curiosity.

Most of them avoids us or come to ask for small snacks, which I give sparingly since emptying our entire supply of food in a single day would be very stupid.

The only exception was a sneaky Poochyena who tried to steal the whole Oran bag, probably thinking that I wouldn’t be keeping an eye out for this exact scenario.

Emphasis on the word tried.

*Kick!*

Let's say that the poor bastard never stood a chance before being punted by my right foot into the bush from where it came.

*Rustle*

“Get ready lass, that villain wants to steal all your snacks” I faux whisper to Nanachi while quickly stepping away from the rustling vegetation.

With a gasp, her expression gets absolutely murderous at the thought of having her food taken away and takes into the air.

The Poochyena jumps out of the bush looking more annoyed at being caught stealing than feeling any actual pain from the kick.

It zeroes its angry red eyes on me and readies what seems to be an imminent Tackle.

*Screech!* My partner screams in an high pitched voice, blasting the canine with multicolored rings that makes it whine and stumble momentarily.

Not sure of what moves she may have, I opt for staying silent so I don’t distract her and make sure of noting down what moves she uses.

After recovering with a shake of their head, it's very obvious that confusion was set into place as its eyes became unfocused and kept glaring a few meters away from where the Noibat actually was.

Taking advantage of the status effect, Nanachi momentarily pulls back her wings and forcefully flaps them forwards.

*Swoosh!*

The result was a very fucking violent whirlwind going deadset at the confused canine.

Surprisingly, due to its confusion it somehow managed to dodge the attack by tackling a target that didn't exist in the first place.

'It did hurt itself on the landing though.'

I know this was supposed to be a serious fight, but I couldn’t help but laugh hysterically at the growing horror on its face when the Poochyena with a very disheveled fur finally snapped out of the confusion effect and could only watch in helplessness as the 35% bigger, pissed off bat charges straight at him while being enveloped by a blue aura.

*Crack!*

The headbutt sends the fucker flying six or so meters away before it finally lands in a rough manner across the now uncharted blades of grass.

Looking around, I notice that for some reason the lively atmosphere around the clearing suddenly disappeared along with all the other guests we had watching the ‘’fight’’ happen.

'Was I so focused on the battle that I didn't notice or are they just that good at sneaking away?' I ponder while returning my eyes to the now unconscious pókemon.

*Rustle* Shakes a tall grass from where two other Poochyenas reluctantly walk out of their hiding spot, making me wary of another battle so soon. 

Luckily for me they choose that battling against us isn't worth it and hastily drags their companion back into the tall grass fom where they came.

Still thinking that an ambush may still happen, I keep my guard up for a while.

'Please Arceus, don't make a Mightyena jump out of a small patch of grass because ''it would be funny''.' I give a silent plea for the sky llama while lowering myself so I can jump away at moments notice.

Only after a few minutes passing by in complete silence with the vegetation around us showing no signs of movement that I allow myself to relax again and wipe a sweaty brow.

"Bat Ba!" Echoes a squeak besides me and brings my attention back to Nanachi as she hops adorably at her success at defending her meal from thieves.

‘So… she has Dragon Rush, Supersonic and Gust. Guess it’s time to start the training montage.’

I’m supposed to be a trainer after all, doing what’s in the damn name is the bare minimum I should be doing.

"Do you feel like doing some training? We can try doing some aerial maneuvers to improve your evasiveness.” I propose absently, watching as she turns to me after calming down a little and seriously considers the idea for a few seconds before nodding with a really out of place look of determination.

 “Noi!”

‘And there it is the dragon typing showing up…’ Hopefully her evolution won’t bring the worst of it.

“Since we have until evening to get some practice, we’ll begin with you dodging a few pebbles I throw in your general direction while slowly increasing the accuracy and force behind it… You got all that right?” I slowly explain to Nanachi while trying my best to not cackle out loud at the mint Noibat who went from nodding to headbanging in affirmation from sheer enthusiasm.

“Bat!” She screeches excitedly she as once again launches herself into the air with two mighty flaps and urges me to pick up some rocks already.

‘I really shouldn’t feel this happy at being able to throw rocks at someone…’ But alas, a maniac’s gotta do what maniac’s gotta do.

__________________

5:50 PM

“You know, sometimes the journey beats the destination. Especially if your spurs go Jingle Jangle Jingle , and you meet some nice gals on the way.” My phone blares on the background as I watch the last sun rays slowly disappear from the camp.

I think everything went nicely for someone with absolutely no prior experience in coaching others.

“Baa…” My completely spent partner snores from my lap as I begin adding quite a few dry branches I’ve found along the day to make another bonfire.

I’ve kept the initial training of rock throwing while also making sure of adding other challenges, like flying in a zigzag pattern between trees or attacking and dodging at the same time to improve awareness of her surroundings.

*Fwoosh* Lightens the match I’ve just grinded against its box.

While I carefully set the fire on the pile, my other hand stays around it to block any possible wind from putting it out.

And soon enough we have a nice hole with stones around the edges, where the bonfire can safely lighten the camp without the possibility of causing a forest fire.

*Crackle Crackle*

Looking as a beautiful sea of stars comes out into full view, my hand slowly pats the peaceful creature on her head.

'Thank Arceus, you haven't left. I don't know what I would've done if you disappeared after all the effort I've spent convincing my niece.' A familiar voice says with relief inside my mind.

Quickly looking behind me, I spot the same Gardevoir of yesterday approaching with a tiny Ralts tightly secured into her arms.

Said Ralts also seems to be peacefully asleep if the slow rise and fall of its her chest is any indicator.

“I would ask what exactly you’ve convinced her, but I think I already guessed what it was about.” I reply while trying to wake up the comatose pokémon on my lap and fail miserably.

*Snort*

Instead of saying anything, she simply snorts in amusement and comes closer to sit at my side.

I do note that I’ve severely misjudged her height during our earlier encounter, since it seems very obvious when sitting side by side that the top of her head only reaches my chin.

…

“So… not that I’m complaining or anything, but why the heck are you asking me to take care of her? When I offered to help you I was thinking more along the lines of collecting required ingredients for some mystic potion or something.” I ask genuinely curious at why the hell someone would ask a stranger they hardly know to take care of their niece.

Now turning to stare straight at my eyes, she answers my question with her mental voice switching to a painful whisper.

“It’s because my last hope is that going in one of these ‘Journeys’ with a human might be what she needs to start healing her grief.” She says quietly. Tightning her hold on the little one just a bit more than before

 “Grief?” I repeat while frowning slightly in confusion.

It takes a few moments of hesitation for her to answer, but when she does it comes with a deep sorrow. Enough to make my own eyes water from sharing the same connection with the psychic.

“I… I tried, really tried to take care of her. But I can’t keep seeing the child I was entrusted by my sister slowly falling apart in front of my eyes.

“I genuinely don’t know what to do anymore. Every time I try to explain it wasn’t her fault, she just seems to ignore what I say and continues blaming herself for it.

"She even goes as far as acting like those arrogant dragons, trying to fool herself hard enough to believe that she won't fail ever again.

...

“I can feel her obssesion getting worse by each  Full Moon. And staying in this forest remembering old memories will never let her grow past her fears.” She vents to me, trying not to disrupt her niece rest with the trembling in her arms.

'Man, what the hell did I get into? I thought this world was supposed to be lighthearted like in the cartoon.'

Wetting my dry mouth, I awkwardly pat her shoulder in consolation. Choosing carefully my next words before answering.

“As I’ve said yesterday, I’m not sure if I can even help her. I’m not going to lie by saying that I’m qualified in any way to deal with issues like this, but that I’ll make all I possibly can is something I can promise you.” I tell her honestly, trying to sound reassuring.

“T-Thank you, that’s honestly the best I could hope for.” The psychic thanks me and tries to focus on caressing her niece hair as she breaks down sobbing quietly.

Hearing her silent cries breaks something inside of me, and the next thing I'm doing is giving the poor psychic woman a damn hug for all the troubles in her life until now.

After that we just stay in silence, with me giving her a comforting side hug and listening as Mr. New Vegas talks about how a package courier has successfully made a full recovery.

Chapter Text

Turns out that venting your problems to someone willing to hear you out can be very exhausting, so much that If I wasn't hugging her at that moment I wouldn’t have noticed how the arms holding the sleeping Ralts started going limp before it was too late. 

"Oh shit!" I curse as the rest of the psychic's body starts falling forward. Forcing me to pull her back while also darting my right arm to hold the kid who is about to follow suit.

Luckily I was able to grab her niece before she could've fallen and definitely woken up. Which leaves me in a difficult task of not dropping the kid on my right arm, holding onto Gardevoir while making sure she doesn’t fall over and having a comatose Nanachi on my lap restraining my legs with her weight.

"Caralho, essa foi perto..." I mutter in relief, slowly lowering Gardevoir to the damp grass beneath and making sure to turn her sideways so the red spike/horn on her back doesn’t make it very uncomfortable.

"Thank... Arceus, she's just asleep. For a moment I thought she died for real there." I wheeze a little as I check the psychic more carefully and watch as her chest slowly rises and falls.

No need to panic then, just take it slowly and everything is going to be fine.

Looking down, I ponder what to do with Trouble N.1 and Trouble N.2 before remembering that my backpack is near my feet with five empty pokeballs at my disposal.

'I don't think she'll even notice if I capture her in a ball right? Not while asleep anyway.' Because I’m pretty sure my tent won't have enough space for everyone inside without feeling very cramped.

And I sure as hell ain't risking having to deal with a panicking Nanachi because she woke up smashed between us and ended up triggering her phobia by accident.

‘Well, better safe than sorry and all that jazz.’ I shrug slightly to not disturb them, already reaching for the bag.

Dragging it closer and grabbing a single pokeball, I carefully press the button against the forehead of the sleeping Ralts and the diminutive figure is somehow pulled inside in a red flash of light.

‘How does the conversion of matter to energy even work in this case? Is it changing the entire molecule composition or some kind of aura bullshit?’ At least Digimons have the excuse of literally being made of data. This on the other hand just makes no fucking sense whatsoever.

*Ding!* Beeps the ball in my palm and I release the breath I was subconsciously holding in.

‘Fuck it, just go with the flow.’ Nothing is stopping me from taking a quick search on the PC at the centers anyway.

Storing the pokeball on my person, I pick up the heavy Noibat and carry her inside the tent where she can sleep on the extra pillow.

*Poke* *Poke* I prod her cheek, trying to get any kind of reaction out of it and just end up making her drool all over the fluffy cushion.

'What the hell do I need to wake this girl? I'm starting to think I might have to drop a bucket of cold water on her face at this point.' I snort amusedly and make a note to wash said pillow at a later date.

Speaking of washing… a bath would do wonders right now. “Hopefully the Pokémon Center has some showers.”

Going back outside to get my phone where I left on top of a fallen trunk, I immediately pause the damn thing as soon as Johnny Guitar started playing.

"Fuck you and shove that guitar up your ass!" I all but yell at the motherfucker who ruined almost every single exciting moment I had playing New Vegas.

Robbing the Sierra Madre with only a single stealth boy? Johnny Guitar. Fighting for my life against the entire legion camp after blowing up Ceasar with a Fat Man? Johnny Guitar. Sweating bullets to clear the Quarry Junction from deathclaws while they chase my ass? Johnny. Fucking. Guitar.

Shaking my head to dismiss my anger, I take a glance back at the form of the sleeping beauty and make my way to her. Hopefully she won't mind getting dragged across the floor and consequently waking up full of grass.

Getting behind the knocked out Gardevoir and  crouching a bit, I lift her shoulders, pass my arms under her armpits and slowly drag her body all the way back inside where I can let her sleep over my sleeping bag.

All the way silently cursing in varied ways about how hard said action actually was and promising myself to start exercising.

"I really need to start working out, staying a wimp like this is going to fuck me over if I need to climb rocky terrain or start throwing hands with criminals." I huff a little out of breath.

*Clap Clap*

Dusting off my hands at the job well done, I quickly realize that I won't be able to lay down anywhere because there's no fucking space besides a little corner that's just big enough for me to sit with my legs crossed.

"Pftt, ‘s not like I wanted to sleep comfortably tonight anyway” I scoff sarcastically as I sit down and use one of the discarded hoodies as a makeshift pillow for my neck. Already preparing myself for how much my joints are going to be hurting in the morning.

‘Might as well try and get a feel for aura sensing.’ I shrug as I empty my head and try to feel the sounds around me, such as the loud as hell snoring coming from my comatose Noibat, the slow and methodical breathing from the exhausted Gardevoir and the wind rustling the leaves outside.

Being able of throwing vacuum waves or understanding pokémon language is probably what others would strive for, but what really interests me is the possibility of giving orders without speaking to my team.

That’s a way too good advantage not to have, especially in the middle of a battle where information is essential to counter your opponent’s moves.

__________________

10:27 AM

It didn’t work, It did not work.

Somewhere along the 10 minutes mark I've spent focusing in trying to feel anything different about myself I ended up blacking out.

Just when a whining Nanachi started shaking me by the sleeves of the kimono with her fangs did I wake up. Apparently she was famished, since after yesterday's training she just slept as soon as she could instead of waiting for me to prepare some lunch for her.

After checking up on the still sleeping Gardevoir, we settle down outside and after stretching out my sore limbs I give a small run down about happened on the previous night.

I’m not sure if the overexcited Noibat actually understood most of it given how much she started vibrating excitedly, but I’m pretty certain she at least got the ‘new friend’ out of it.

Looking down at my little Crackhead, I give her a pat for the enthusiasm. “I’m going to open the ball, so give a little space for her to adjust okay? Get ready.”

*Poof!*

A small figure emerges in front of us, her height reaching a little lower than my shin and the sun brightly reflecting on her yee yee ass haircut back into my retinas.

She wearily looks around, searching for something before a single crimson eye not obscured by the bowl haircut zeroes on us.

“Ralts Ral-Ralts?” She inquires a little nervously but not particularly afraid.

“Your aunt is sleeping over there if that’s what you’re asking about, I’ve decided to let her rest for a little longer since she was pretty tired.” I explain casually while pointing my thumb at the tent's direction.

At that she visibly relaxes and comes to sit down near us, although giving a wary glance at the Noibat two times taller than her who appears to be having a stroke while trying not to snuggle a potential friend.

Picking an Oran and offering to her, I jerk in surprise at the sheer velocity said berry vanishes from my hand and suddenly appears inside the now stuffed mouth of Nanachi.

“You could’ve just waited your turn y’know? You’re lucky that It’s fucking impossible for me to get mad at your derpy face for longer than five seconds.” I complain while immediately ruffling her ears.

“Bat!” She shamelessly nods in agreement after finishing chewing.

‘She’s adorable and she knows it, that’s a very dangerous combination if I ever saw one.’

Turning back at the unamused fairy, I make sure of keeping an eye out for the glutton as I give another Oran to Ralts.

"Ralts!" She scoffs at my offer with a turn of her head and going as far as crossing her arms.

*Grrlkk* Thunders her stomach, the previous dignified face now glows a scarlet blush at such betrayal by none other than herself.

*Snort*

Look at that, she's now glaring at me while at the same time trying very hard to hide her face from embarrassment with her hands.

'This one is going to be fun to mess with.' I think amusedly as she grabs the berry while grumbling something vaguely similar to thanks.

Leaning to my right, I faux whisper to Nanachi "She's all yours, you earned two extra snacks tonight for the self-restraint."

"Noibat!?" Nanachi shrieks as she lunges for the  now panicking Ralts and both of them go rolling into the floor in a jumbled mess of limbs. With a cackling Noibat having the time of her life and the Ralts screaming undignifiedly at being treated like a sack of potatoes.

'Oh well, these two are going to get along like a house on fire.'

From there things devolve into a roughhousing between the two of them, one trying to do her best at snuggling her friend and the other fighting for her life against a unstoppable beast who may as well have declared herself as the Devil incarnate.

All the while I was too busy laughing my ass off at the hilarity of the scene occurring before me to notice as Gardevoir slowly made her way out to us with a amused expression on her face.

"Now, that's something I didn't see for a long time, I still remember how my sister and I started pulling eachother's hairs when we thought our parents weren't watching. Nowadays I'm pretty sure that they knew the entire time and just found it too funny to interfere." She says in nostalgia at the old memories, also sitting down on the shade to watch the absolute clusterfuck of a fight between the two kids rolling around the grass.

"I would probably agree with them, this shit is too hilarious for me to actually stop them from doing it. As long they are not about to maim or kill eachother they’ll be just fine." I speak trying to hold my laugh as Nanachi grabbed Ralts with her 'claws' and is flying around the camp with the screaming fairy holding for dear life.

Shame that I still need to take down the tent and put the things inside the backpack. Otherwise I would stay here watching these two have fun for hours.

Standing up, I look over to the only responsible adult present and warn her. "Keep an eye on them, I'll be busy figuring out how to disarrange that damn thing without fucking up."

The only response I get is a snort and a dismissive hand wave.

'Fair enough I guess'

__________________

3 hours later

"You two really think that I'll let you both use my neck and shoulder as seating because the view is better?" I ask incredulously at the pair who teamed up in order to get a free ride.

"Noibat!" "Ralts" The two rascals nod at the same time, one seems eager to get an easy travel and the other replies as if I'm an idiot for even considering denying her wish.

'Little fuckers, I'm going to draw a monocle and a mustache on your faces with a permanent marker at this rate.'

Although I can already imagine how amusing it would be to straight up deny them and see the Ralts's mask crumble into pieces to a panicking plea, I'd rather not deal with a whining Nanachi complaining all the way to civilization.

Shaking my head, I double check if everything is in order and settle the bag in one of my arms. Thanking whatever bullshit technology makes this backpack weight only 13 Kg instead of how much it should.

"Fine, just don't expect me to do it when you two evolve." I reply despite knowing full well that they're going to find a way to still pester me later on.

In a flash, the two of them already climbed me like a jungle-gym and are already arguing about something.

"Are you ready? I'll give you a farewell gift for taking me in last night. It's the minimum I could do for such kindness." Gardevoir says as she approaches us.

'PleasebeamegastonePleasebeamegastonePleasebeamegastonePleasebeamegastone.'

With a raised hand and a focused expression, she slowly places her hand on my forehead and keeps there for a few seconds in complete silence. Just as I'm about to ask if everything is okay it begins, the odd sensation of everything in my vision blurring together into a kaleidoscope of colors and my entire being being compressed by an invisible pressure from all sides.

I don't even have time to ask what the fuck did she do as the entire process lasted only for a second before I suddenly find myself in the middle of a well traveled route with a missing Gardevoir.

"Fuuuck..." I groan in disappointment and stumble momentarily at the sudden teleport, still recovering at what I assume to be the nearest feeling of getting high as a kite, but quickly shake it off for gratitude at the free travel.

'That should cut considerably our walking time at least.' Although I could do without the feeling of my guts being played by a toddler before being placed back together.

"Heads up lasses, we're about to have our hardest challenge yet..." I tell them with a strained smile as a nearby youngster immediately runs away the moment I look at his direction.

"Bat?" "Ralts?" Both mutter anxiously, with a slight trembling of anticipation at the prospect of such a thing happening so soon.

"To socialize without drawing attention or just not being a weirdo in general." I finish with a totally serious tone.

*Smack* *Smack* The both of them slaps me for speaking the truth, and totally not because I got them anxious over nothing.

'Fucking traitors the two of them.' I complain as I rub the right side of my head where they slapped me.

...

Wait, I was supposed to go right or left?

Chapter Text

I can say with absolute certainty that 'Right' wasn't the correct choice. Maybe my luck is just that shitty and I could've reached Oldale after a fifteen minutes long walk, who knows?

But no, I chose to pick right and spent two or so hours and a half trekking through dense grass, tall enough to reach my tights at that. Constantly having to force my way past them and accidentally angering the local residents because I tripped over them while walking by.

They got knocked out with only one or two gusts, so it wasn't that much of a challenge. But at least I got the opportunity to gain a little more experience giving orders to Nanachi and she in response quickly learned how to react accordingly to them.

The only bad side of it was that she stood there waiting for me to yell at her to dodge a very telegraphed tackle when she could’ve just moved out of the way.

‘What fucking use was all that rock throwing exercise if the first real battle we have she just stands there like a dumbass waiting to be hit? I need to fix that ASAP.’ I pin that thought for later when we’re rested.

Preferably after a cold shower to reduce this infernal summer heat, I'm pretty sure that if it wasn't for my fedora protecting me I would've a heatstroke by now. 

'Who would’ve thought that using a kimono of all things to travel through the dense vegetation was a bad idea? Not me, no sir.'

Eventually I finally reach my first city after passing a sign with its name pointing to the west a while ago.

‘Petalburg City. Where people mingle with nature’ It said, I can kind of see why now.

A sprawling city with tall office like buildings and simple houses shrouded within the local vegetation. The dirt and grassy streets makes me appreciate the variation from the usual boring asphalt ones found back home, there’s always an abundance of trees neatly inserted between homes that doesn’t feel choking nor lacking, but just the enough amount to provide cover from the sun’s relentless heat and a lair for a small nest of Taillows.

“Neat, now I can get lost inside an actual city rather than in the woods. That’s progress at least.” I tell to my only listener, since the other one got bored of seeing me stumble my way here in the first forty or so minutes and recalled herself to sleep in the meantime.

“Bat…” Nanachi whispers in awe at the sheer size of the tall buildings and staring constantly at the bustling streets full of people, some of them even walking with their own partners, going through their day.

There's even a jewlery on the other side of the street being reformed by workers and a couple machamps helping out on the job.

Although I can't help but get self-conscious at the stares we get despite the common sight of people and pokémon alike walking side by side, the majority of them are just curiosity at the unknown pokémon sitting with her legs dangling around my neck, others give me a single glance before visibly widening the distance between me and them to go around. With just one or two of the older trainers passing by double taking at us before a look of recognition dawns on their faces, followed by confusion and then incredulity.

‘Fucking hell, where the hell is this Pokemon Center!?’ I curse internally, struggling to maintain my perfect poker face on the outside.

Walking aimlessly until I find the center isn’t the best choice I admit, but I can’t bring myself to ask someone else for directions when all these years in quarantine left me all but socially inept.

It doesn’t help that I also tend to speak way too fast for people to understand half of the shit I say. And the less said about the stuttering when nervous or social anxiety the better.

“Azumarill’s Maid Cafe, Roselias’s Flower Shop, Build a Teddiursa, Zangoose’s Restaura- Oh God, we need to see this.” I speak to Nanachi while she basically salivates at the succulent smell coming from the other side of the street.

*Poof!* Ralts exits her ball inside my pocket and appears right in front of me, I bet the cheeky fairy also felt the pleasant aroma. Her exit ends up surprising a few people around me with her sudden appearance.

"Look pa! It's so cute... Can I also get one!?" A six year old tugs at his tired father's hand while pointing at the now blushing Ralts.

"Maybe on the way back kid, let's go before we get late to your appointment." He lies through his teeth with a placating smile, probably hoping his son will forget about such promise later on.

'Tough luck kiddo, you'll learn the about trick eventually if you keep asking for expensive things though.'

And just like that, the metaphorical dam holding the others from gushing about the small fairy was broken into pieces and blown into the wind. 

I debate whether or not to intervene as my amusement grows exponentially at how flustered my Ralts looks from receiving the wave of 'Daaw~'s and immediately demands for me to pick her up to escape from the embarrassment. 

I simply smile smugly at the Ralts and savour the growing horror on her face as some a old lady starts taking photos of her with a polaroid she pulled out of her bag.

After a few moments appreciating her suffering at the hands of the older woman, I decide to be mercifull before she actually starts crying and put her on my left shoulder, where she immediately hides from view inside my long hair.

Seeing as the center of attention disappeared, the small crowd disbanded soon after, leaving only a few people who were reviewing the photos taken by the old lady and asking for copies.

'Better get out of here before they turn on me next...' I slowly inch away from them before power walking to my destination.

Crossing to the other side of the street, I look over the window of the restaurant and watch in awe as a very buff, one eyed Zangoose masterfully hones his claws to cuts steaks, fish and vegetables alike with supernatural ease.

Grilling them over a stone on top the open fire until they are well done and seasoning them with his experience accumulated over the years before putting them on a plate and delivering to the mesmerized clients.

He even gave me a smug smirk when he noticed us and a few other curious pedestrians who were intrigued at what I was staring at and also joined to watch the show.

‘Holy fuck, I’m absolutely coming back here when we return to challenge Norman.’ I promise to myself, making damn sure of clapping enthusiastically with an approving nod at the master in action.

Reluctantly tearing myself from the window, I resume my search for the Center for other thirty minutes before finally finding a large, red building with a pokeball symbol in its center three blocks away.

__________________

Pov: Nurse Mary Joy

04:17 PM

“The damage to his ribs caused by Facade will take a while to fully heal. It’s recommended to let your Rapid- Zebstrika rest for the rest of the day, with tomorrow only allowing him to perform light training to make sure he makes a full recovery by Sunday. ” She slowly explains to the currently wincing Unovan teen.

The boy apparently committed the common mistake of afflicting Norman’s Slaking with paralysis in an attempt of restricting the powerful sloth movements. Unfortunately his plan backfired drastically by the infamous double powered facade, which easily knocked out his three remaining team members.

“Thank you Ms. Joy, I’ll be more careful next time.” He mutters more to himself than to her with a sad look on his face before taking the escalator leading into the trainer’s rooms aisle.

"Chansey Chan." Her oldest friend says with a frown, the usually calm look on her face now replaced with a small hint of annoyance.

"I know, we already warned him about being more careful with that move many times and yet he still insists that its a vital learning point for trainers who use ailments as a crutch." She tells her partner empathetically, a part of her can't help but still be annoyed at how many trainers were already sent here on the last few days because of it.

It's still the start of the season, they shouldn’t be getting more patients than her cousing in Rustboro at this period since everyone decides to deal with Norman later on when they are more prepared.

But nooo, the older trainers suddenly decide to fight him first after completing the previous season and are more often than not completely caught off guard by his 8 badge team.

*Snap* *Snap* A pale hand snaps its fingers in front of her and brings her back from the internal rant.

"...enhora, tu tá ficando surda ou o quê? Dá uma moral aqui e me diz se essas duas pestes estão saudáveis." A raspy voice says in an unknown language, it sounds similar to those Paldean drama shows she watched when younger but still distinctly different.

Looking up at the tall trainer in front of her, she winces at how the purple hair beneath her fedora is completely disheveled and covered in things like leaves and small sticks, the lilac yukata with a pattern of flowers once beautiful is now equally as dirty and with some places torn off.

What actually draws her attention is the purple eyes, they have this feeling of unhingedness behind them. As if the person in front of her is not totally there in the head.

'Since when did Mismagius learn to shapeshift?'

"Uhh, can you repeat that again in Unovan please?" She hesitantly asks in Unovan, hoping the possible ghost type teen who she only now notices also has an unknown pokemon comfortably hanging around her neck with a smile understands.

"Merda. I was asking if you could check if my favorite idiots are healthy, I want to be sure that everything is okay with them." The teen slowly replies in a way she can actually understand despite the pronunciation being very bad.

Before she can say anything, a rare sight of a psychic pops out from the girl's hair and climbs over her shoulder, giving a single nod to the bat pokémon.

The mint colored one leaves its place and hovers above her head, with the hat now firmly secured in its fangs

*Smack* The ralts slaps angrily at the back of her head, although it doesn't do any actual damage since the psychic line isn’t that physically strong to begin with.

"Alright, thats fair. You two are my favorite dumbasses." She says with a straight face to the pair while trying to restrain a twitching lip from betraying her act.

*Smack* 

"Rapscallions."

*Smack* 

"Minions."

*Smack* 

"Christmas elves."

*Smack* 

"Goons."

*Smack* 

"Airhead and Drama Queen."

*Smack* *Smack!* Now both of them hit her at the same time, with the winged one nearly making the girl slam her face against the table.

"Fine… my two frie- Best friends here." She quickly amends her sentence as the bat settles down on her head and threatens to hit her again with a raised wing.

'Well, there goes my fear of being pranked by a ghost type.' Mary thinks to herself, suppressing a chuckle at the trio interactions. Chansey on the other hand is laughing without any restriction at the scene and receiving a glare from the Ralts in response.

"Sure, I'll just ask of you to recall them so we can have a quick scan. After that I'll need to register your trainer ID to the system so we can contact you in case of emergencies." Mary explains, now back at the familiar professional standing.

Shoving her hand inside the yukata’s side pocket, she pulls a pokeball and bonks the Ralts on the head with it before passing me the ball.

Then she hesitantly raises her eyes at her other team member who seems to be shuffling anxiously on top of her head.

Leaning closer to me, she eventually asks. “Can you check on Nanachi without me recalling her? I’m pretty sure she’s claustrophobic…”

‘Oh, I guess that explains the sudden dilated eyes and heavy breathing.’

“Yes I can. It may take a few minutes, so I’ll need you to wait here on the lobby for a while until I call for you miss…” Mary trails off realizing she didn’t get her name.

“…Lilah Misfortune.” Lilah grumbles as if it was painful to say her own name. Which considering having such a bad omen in her name makes it very reasonable.

‘Misfortune? Ironic how someone with such surname has a Ralts of all things as her teammate.’  Although that would explain her current ragged state and tired looks.

“Noibat!?” Her pokémon squeaks in surprise when she’s suddenly picked up and swiftly placed on the reception counter with a few headpats.

‘Noibat, what region does it comes from again?’ Mary ponders, trying to remember where did she read about it before.

“Wait just a minute please, I need to check something real quick…” She hurriedly explains to the curious trainer as she reaches for the lower drawer and opens it.

Picking up a copy of her family’s legacy, she drops the thick book with a loud thud on her desk and searches for the N section. Going through the numerous other registers in it before finding what she needs.

Noibat/Onbat --> Noivern/Onvern

Origin: Kalos

Type : (Flying/Dragon)

Species: Sound wave pokémon

Expected size: 1’02 ft to 1’08 ft

Description: These usually calm creatures live inside pitch-black caves where they rest, leaving only after nightfall to hunt their favorite meals: Ripened fruits. Their enormous ears can emit ultrasonic waves up to 200.000Hz, which they use to search for their meals.

Advice:

Keep an Ice type pokémon at your disposal in a rampage scenario;

Make sure of keeping a noise canceling muffler at your person in case it starts screeching;

Always have fruits at your disposal so it keeps calm around you.

Note: Beware their evolution, since it’ll drastically increase their draconic instincts and turn them into vicious predators when under the moonlight.

‘Oh dear this isn’t looking good…’ Mary blanches the more she reads about the methods the silly creature in front of her uses to hunt when fully evolved.

What really gets her wary however, is the pertinent question on her mind. ‘Why does the supposed 1’08ft tall Pokémon in front of me have an outstanding 2’5ft height?’

__________________

Pov: L. Misfortune

26 minutes later

I was getting pretty worried when the usually upbeat Joy suddenly went very pale from something she read in that book of hers, but she assured me it was nothing and quickly waved me off as she went to inspect my team. Fortunately both of them were completely healthy.

They even got a strawberry flavored lollipop out of it in the end.

‘Maybe it was a stomach ache? Yeah, I’d also get very pale if I had to use the bathroom right now.’ I deduce as I remember our previous interaction.

It would also explain her hasty retreat into the medical aisle.

“Baa~” My fluffy companion squeaks in pure bliss while currently being carried in my arms.

“Who’s a good girl? Yes you are! Yes you are!” I praise Nanachi who is currently melting under my fingers as I scratch behind her ears with my right hand.

We’re slowly walking through the second floor to the room 84, which I was given a key for to spend the night in it. And for my immense happiness it’s all free, meals included.

‘72, 73, 74, 75, side room with empty PCs, 76, 77, 7-‘ I halt my counting as I look back at the blue screen shining from inside the dark room, waiting for someone to use it.

“Well, don’t mind me if I do!” I cheer joyfully as I practically teleport to the computer and click to open the browser. It takes a painfully long time to load and makes me remember that this world technology varies between being old school and advanced enough to fuck with the Laws of Physic at the drop of a hat.

Now let’s see…

‘Indigo League, trainers and news.’ Enter.

…

“Holy shit…” I mutter as I try to comprehend the absolute clusterfuck of a thread on my screen.

I really didn’t expect this much drama between Kanto and Johto. The majority of it is a one sided bashing from extremists trying to picture either Johto or Kanto as inferior and immediately starting a flame war on the comments between both regions.

‘Okay, this might take a while to dig what I want…’

__________________

Eventually after four minutes scrolling through all the bullshit called politics, I find something that demands my attention and click on it.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

New prodigy or just a fluke?

Professor Oak’s grandson, Blue Oak, challenges his first Gym and comes out victorious, declaring his intention of being the future champion of the Indigo league.

With his Squirtle demonstrating an effective use of his type advantage and quick thinking, Blue blitzes through Brock’s roster and gloats abou…

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Closing the page, I calmly look at the ceiling for a few seconds to make sure I didn't read anything wrong and slowly drag my left hand across my face as I realize it was legit.

'Let me see if I got this right...'

Blue = Red

Blue + Red = No Ash Ketchum

No Ash Ketchum = Main games timeline

Main games timeline = Either ORAS or R/S/E

‘Shit.’

Saying it’s ‘Not ideal’ would be the understatement of the century since I never got to finish my Emerald playthrough on the emulator, and the fact that most of my knowledge about the games was obtained by osmosis over the years.

“Would you look at that, our situation just escalated from shitty to FUBAR.” I say to Nanachi with a fake cheer in my tone. When no response comes back I look down and realize she has been asleep on my lap for a while since I sat down.

'Nice Idea my padawan, I probably should follow your lead and ignore it as much as I can since I can't do shit about it anyway.'

“Welp, looks like repression is the way to go. Surely that won’t have any adverse side effects later on.” I can’t help but laugh sarcastically as I mentally dunk my future problems inside the ‘Not my fucking problem’ box until they are actually needed.

Holding tightly onto the sleeping Noibat with my right arm, I get up with her and make my way to our room so I can just turn off my brain for a few hours and try to relax by taking a hot shower.

The world outside can wait a few days, what can't wait is my need for a comfortable bed, at least ten hours of sleep and a fucking pair of jeans.

Chapter Text

7 am - Saturday

3rd pov

Inside a dim lit room where the only source of light comes from a muted CRT TV, it showcases a surprisingly popular show called 'My little Ponyta: Arson is Magic' and its lessons about how not to start a fire to the younger audience.

Three figures can be found residing in it:

One sleeping teen currently dressed in a black cobweb dress laying sideways, showing no interest in getting out of bed due to being so soon in the morning.

A Noibat staring menacingly at the other member of their team from the upper bed where said teen is.

And at last but not least, a Ralts teasingly biting one of these divine 'sandwiches' with an agonizing slowness, savoring the exquisite flavor of cheese and ham while making sure of not breaking eye contact with the snack snatcher.

A single eye shines through her hair, all but daring the flying type to take it from her arms. Knowing that even if the Noibat wants to get one she has no choice but to steal it.

She has the advantage in this case and she’s going to make damn sure of gloat about it. If she didn’t then the Noibat surely would’ve opened the magic bag and got a meal for herself too.

But alas, having no psychic powers is her curse to bear, forever doomed to never open things as she can.

Seeing the barely disguised taunt, Nanachi drops off her perch and lands on the floor with a low thud before approaching the smug fairy.

"Oh? You're approaching me? Instead of flying away to your corner, you come right to me? Even though our leader told us to not disturb her while she rests?" Ralts mockingly asks with one of her stubs to the chin, as her friend nemesis slowly walks at her direction with a smile displaying way too many teeth on her face. 

"I can't steal the snack out of you without getting closer." Nanachi coolly replies from the wooden floor, secretly tensing her muscles from the unaware fairy and allowing her smile turn into an unhinged grin.

"Oh ho! Then come as close as you li- AAAHH!" Ralts's reply gets interrupted by a Noibat shaped missile that sends both of them tumbling into the floor, having the edible stuck in a tug-war between an unstoppable force of mischief and a unmovable object called pride.

This battle had no winners, for the both of them got so focused on trying to beat each other up that the original prize was entirely forgotten in the middle of the chaos.

__________________

L. Misfortune

Ugh...

ACs really are the best invention of mankind, not even two minutes in bed and I blacked out. No switching sides each five minutes, no mosquitos buzzing in my ears when I'm almost asleep and most certainly no damn stray thoughts that pop out of nowhere to keep me awake until 3 AM.

'I feel like I could be here all day lo-'

"Ralts ral? Alt ra– RAA!" Something cries in panic somewhere to my right.

*Crash!*

...

"Noibat bat bat bat!" A downright mischievous laugh follows soon after with what I presume to be Nanachi and Ralts smacking the shit out of each other.

'Never mind'

Sitting up, I can only watch in exasperation at the ball of limbs rolling around the floor bumping into everything they can.

The stool near the writting table is on the floor, my backpack isn't where I've left it yesterday, the hanger with my hat plus the now cleaned but still damaged kimono is slowly dragging itself to the right and about to fall on the floor.

Ignoring the children currently too occupied to notice their mess, I straight it up before it falls on top of them and store back the discarded edible near the lowest drawer of the table.

'Did I put the towel to dry yesterday after the shower...' Oh. Oh shit, not aga–

*Slap!* I slap myself and shake my head before I can start panicking again.

Going to the bathroom was already awkward enough. Taking a shower was merely accomplished by switching to autopilot, turning the temperature to cold and singing Bury the Light at the top of my lungs. 

'Not a bad method of repressing stuff all things considered'

And I'm pretty certain that I've heard Ralts singing along with me in the background, but I may be wrong since when I left the bathroom she was already watching with rapt attention an educational documentary about the differences between Hitmonlee, Hitmontop and Hitmonchan.

The fact that she started punching Nanachi with an adorable warcry after a while was very amusing given that Nanachi just snickered at the little to no strength behind the blows. Not that the lacking power deterred Ralts from laughing evilly as she got a better flow to her strikes.

‘For fuck’s sake man, you are 20 years old. Get your shit together already.’ I reprimand myself as I remember the events of yesterday night after feeding my merry band of misfits.

‘Which speaking of one of them in particular, it reminds me of that I still have to ask Ralts if she wants a name of her own’ I ponder quietly as I approach the pair who is about to start using actual moves if I don’t interrupt right now.

*Thud!*

'Aaand there goes my phone that I’ve left charging on the table…'

In a swift motion I pick Nanachi by the scruff of her neck and help Ralts get up again, only to receive an annoyed slap to my hand for my kindness.

‘Hehehehe, just you wait midget, I’ll get back at you later’ I laugh internally while wearing a pokerface on the outside as I add party baloons to my shopping list.

By the slight look of dread she got on her face I bet that she felt my maliciousness with either her empathy reading skills or by telepathy. Given that I haven't felt any kind of psychic communication between us, I’ll bet on the empathy thing here and there.

“Ralts ral alts!?” She starts shouting what I assume to be a ‘Wait a minute, I’m sorry okay!?’ from the tone alone.

Without acknowledging the increasingly panicking looks Ralts is giving my head, I lift up the toppled chair and sit down, opening the bullet journal with the pen I've left inside it.

“Now, what is the priority on the shopping list?” I mutter while trying to think what the hell I can even buy with measly 3000… Yen? Pokedollars? Eh, tomato tomahto.

1- Pants/Jeans/shorts and a T-shirt;

2- Food for traveling (Fruits for Nanachi);

3- A chess set or any other game to relax when camping;

4- A pair of flips for comfort;

5- Toys for the delinquents to play with;

6- Probably a PokeNav so I can register the local Pokécenter for emergencies;

7- My own costumized outfit if I do end up getting far on the League Conference;

8- A bicyc-

*Tug*

"Caralho!" I hiss at the sudden painful tug to my hair that makes me glare at Ralts, who climbed her way up the table by using it as climbing rope.

'9- And a goddamn hair band whenever I can afford it.' I add to the list before narrowing my eyes at the unapologetic ralts.

‘You’re going to regret that you little shit, this I can promise.’ I swear to myself before remembering again that I still have to ask her something.

“Oh, before I forget again. What about a name for yourself?” Hook;

“Alt?”

“Well, I thought about it and I assume you would like to be recognized when you eventually get stronger and famous. Must be nice to know that whenever they think of a powerful Gardevoir they’ll think of you as an example…” Line;

“Ralt alts ral…” She says seemingly still uncertain, but I can see the quirk of her lips threatening to become a smile.

“Don’t get me wrong though, if you want to be known as just another one of your species then there is no problem with that at all. Although picture this: your name being respected and dare I say, feared by everyone who hears it.”And Sinker;

“Ralts!” ‘Perfect!’ She all but screams.

"Wise choice, may your name strike hopelessness into the hearts of your enemies and bring them to their knees." I agree with a sage nod, putting a serious face as I think about something that might fit her personality.

“What about Doom?” I throw offhandedly as her boxing session reminds me of the infamous FOOT DIVE technique.

“Ra.” ‘No.’

Yeah, too edgy even for her it seems.

“Maybe Ms. Bison?” I suggest, thinking about her psychic potential and bold personality.

“Ral ralts…” she says with a tilt of her head, seemingly testing how it rolls on the tongue.

“Ra.” Another resolute no.

“C’mon, if you knew what a menace M.Bison was you wouldn’t be discarding him so easily. He even has psychic powers!” I try to bargain a little more since I can kinda see how they would resemble each other.

“Alts.” She says more firmly while crossing her arms.

“Fine, but I still think it would’ve been good just saying…” I trail off as something about her gives me a mild case of deja vú. 

Looking at her face, I can’t help but focus on her blood red eye peeking through the bob cut and remember all the times when she laughed crazily, a potential for ruthlessness and inherent danger deep buried in them.

Tanya.

“Ralts!” She cheers with a satisfied grin over her face.

‘Whoops, did I say that outloud? Oh well…’ I shrug shamelessly since it does fit her.

“It’s nice to officially have you with us Tanya, may we crush our competition away!” I tell her with a grin of my own, offering a handshake which is accepted with much enthusiasm.

__________________

Pokémon Center (Lobby)

9:40 am

“Thank you for the help Nurse Joy, sorry if I’ve bothered you with my questions.” I thank her as I shove the Trainer Card (AKA my damn wallet/identity) back inside my backpack and unfold the addresses where I can find some cheap clothes and rations she gave me.

“Think nothing of it! You would be surprised by how many people tend to forget to ask for help with mundane stuff. Can you believe that there was this girl a few years back who didn’t know we covered food expenses for trainers and ended up skipping them for three days straight? Poor thing wanted to spare her savings so much that she ended up passing out on the training field and had to be carried inside because she developed anemia.” She finishes with a look of incredulity as she still couldn’t believe it herself.

I simply nod with a plastic smile on my face, refusing to admit that I ended up discovering the mess hall by accident because I took a wrong turn on the hallway.

'There are no mistakes, just happy accidents.' Comes the saying of a certain painter on my mind.

At least some lessons were learned on that place, such as:

• Nanachi gets the zoomies whenever she eats an apple, mango or chocolate and I learned the hard way that pinning her down in place was an impossible task during her sugar rush state. I had no choice but to lay down my face on the wooden table and wait patiently for her energy to give out while she flied all over the hall with an increasingly amount of flying types on her heels.

• Don’t give spice food to Tanya because she ended up spewing literal fire out of her mouth after tasting a single Spelon berry. ( I really don’t want to test how fire resistant the pokécenter furniture is nor do I have the money to pay if I discover)

• And they do have rice and beans on their menu alongside with some kind of meat, be it fried fish or a well done steak. Where does the meat come from? i honestly don't care since meat is meat and that is all that matters at the end of the day on my book.

On an unrelated note, I’ve somehow successfully gained my own rival/friend(?) with a Galarian girl named Sasha because her Rookidee also joined in the flying types conga line and she figured out that the right decision was to complain annoyedly to my person using the mystic enchanting table language.

AKA Scottish.

It took a while for me to understand half of the shit that came out of her mouth, but I can confidently say that I was having more of a hard time restraining my amusement at the clearly pissed off scottswoman Galarian from showing on my face than actually feeling bad at the creative swears she came up with.

Although I don't think she was genuinely mad at me since all it took was a humble apology by offering a grilled cheese and a glass of hot cocoa to instantly flip her mood, shifting her frown into a blinding smile that'd made All Might proud. 

After that it was just simple conversations between us that devolved into deranged debates like whether water is wet or not and if the ocean is technically considered soup.

It got so out of hand that even the nearby trainers who were in hearing range stepped in to give their own points defending each side.

Needless to say that at it was at the climax of my impeccable arguing that a trillion Pyroars could totally win against the Sun if they attacked at night that everyone's collective braincells finally started working again as the realization of having spent 2 hours arguing about stupid shit settled in.

When everyone left I decided to stop being an obtuse piece of shit on purpose, returning to normal topics such as bonding over being broke as hell.

Me because Arceus is a certified troll in my life and Sasha because her parents spent a big amount of money buying her a plane ticket to Hoenn as she asked for.

Why she didn’t do her first league circuit in Galar you ask? Apparently because she always wanted to see what Kabu's home region looked like.

Aaand because Mt. Chimney seems like a neat place to hike at this time of the year or so she says.

Long story short: we agreed to meet later on by Dewford and battle there if we don’t bump into each other today. If we do meet, then I’m forced to battle her then and there.

‘Which I doubt it’ll happen since this city is big as hell. I mean, what even are th-‘ I cut my line of thought before I actually jinx myself.

Ignoring that, she gave some kind of excuse about it being a good way to push each other into new levels via competition. But I’m calling bullshit on that with how much enthusiasm she had in her eyes when the B word was said.

‘What the fuck even is wrong with her? I swear she’s related to Nemona with how much she insisted on this damn thing…’

Well, it’s not like refusing the offer would stop her from stalking and ambushing battling me anyway with how determined she looked.

“Bat!” “Ral!” Nanachi and Tanya snap me out of my ramblings with a screech and a yell respectively, quite literally pulling my sleeves to hurry things up.

‘How much time have I spent staring into nurse’s Joy face without noticing? Fuuuck, this is awkward man…’ I cringe a little at finally noticing the visible discomfort on her face for being stared for at least 5 minutes straight.

*Smack!* A sudden punch loaded with dark energy slams into my back thigh, causing me to almost fall flat on my face were not for it being half assed in it's execution.

Looking down, I watch a smug Tanya clearly satisfied with her progress on the art of punching things.

“I’m going! No need to be freaking rude you little shit!” I snap at her before taking a deep breath to calm down and remember that she’s still just a child.

A very puntable child, but a child nonetheless.

“I just want to remind you that Kirlia and Gardevoir are fair game to dropkicks and punches, so you better square the fuck up when you evolve my dear.” I tell her with a smile that doesn’t quite reach my eyes as we exit to the streets.

“Ra Ralts.” She says dismissively with a wave of her arms.

With how the fairy type all but uses me as a jungle gym to reach my shoulders so she can proudly point forward with her arm, not so dissimilar as a knight would point his sword on top of his trusty steed, I’m sure my words were as effective as talking to a brick wall.

'Just you wait sweet summer child, your training will come sooner or later and you'll have no one to blame but yourself.' I chuckle with malicious intent at my newfound motivation to enact my revenge.

 __________________

3:40 pm

“Tanya, it’s Nanachi’s turn to use the swing and I already pushed you for ten minutes straight. If you don’t give your place for her right now I’m going dunk you headfirst into the first body of water I find when we leave.” I tell her in a composed tone, such as the totally calm and reasonable person that I am.

“Ralts…” She mutters with a pout as she gets down and wisely don’t complain as I throw a water balloon up and down on my hands. Eagerly waiting for the first excuse I can get to throw at the first of them who manages to piss me off.

After spending 2.370¥ on a comfy pair of jeans, two bags of balloons, a dark blue t-shirt with a downright manic sableye about to take a bite out of a profusely sweating carbink, a hair band which is currently holding my hair into a neat ponytail and a bunch of bread & butter for me along with some recommended Pokechow for the brats.

I can confidently say that it was absolutely worth it, if not for my own comfort then by the way how both Nanachi and Tanya visibly paled as I cackled while filling my future weapons of mass destruction with water.

Sure, the 630¥ left ain’t much, but at least it can be used for emergency food since nothing else on the bucket list is very urgent right now.

“Did I forget something? I’m pretty su...” I trail off as my focus slips from pushing Nanachi on the swing and keeping an eye out for Tanya currently having the time of her life on the slide alongside with some random kid’s machop to stare at a comically large traffic cone shaking every now and then on the sidewalk.

‘A traffic cone that I distinctly remember not being in there when we stopped by the playground.’ I add skeptically as I let Nanachi make use of the momentum I gave her to go check the possibly stuck pokémon that may've got themselves in there by accident.

Coming closer to it, I slowly lift it up so I don’t startle the probably panicking ani-

*Crack!* The object is violently thrown aside as a very fucking familiar face grins like a damn Chesire cat at my bewildered expression.

" Lassie! Ye didnae think I would pass up on havin’ me fookin’ pokemon battle right!?” A fair skinned teen wearing an orange tank top and a pair of black shorts with way too much energy behind her blue eyes shouts excitedly,  reaching for one of two pokéballs on her belt like a gunslinger would reach for his revolver.

…

I’ve just got my very own Majima Everywhere for the rest of my life didn’t I?

Chapter Text

Seeing as I had no other choice but to comply with the whims of this absolute lunatic of a ‘’friend’’ I’ve made earlier on the day, I take a deep breath and try to delay a little more the inevitable. At least just enough so I can actually coordinate with my team and not wing the fuck out of it as I tend to do with literally everything else on my life.

“Fuu- Iiine, I’ll battle you and your team. But only when I go back to the Center since I still need to buy some things today.” I try to convince her with a half-truth.

‘Almost forgot about buying the damn toothbrush and toothpaste.’ It’d be pretty bad if I didn’t remember about it right now and left the city just to remember in the middle of the Petalburg Woods.

“Aye aye, but ye better dinnae keep me waitin’ too much. Or else I’m goin’ ta drag yer arse there with me bare hands!” She casually threatens me with a straight face while moving aside one of her bangs.

It would look like something you'd see from those stereotypical blonde villainess found in literally any shoujo manga, if not for the genuine smile that hasn’t slipped off her face since I was ambushed.

‘Maybe it’s because of the bright green hair? Some sorta of unholy mix between N and Nemona and a sprinkle of recklessness whose sole purpose is to make me regret having got out of bed today.’ I wonder for a moment while glaring at the long waves of green hair cascading behind her shoulders.

Although the twin braids on each side of her face lowkey reminds me of those on a Mudsdale...

*Snort*

I loudly snort at the comparison and need to wave away her inquisitive stare with a shake of my head.

'Nah, that’s just asking for being punched in the face if I let it slip or a certain psychic tattletale on me. I’m better off just to calling it similar to that blonde girl named… Lily? Lillian?'

Eh, Lusamine’s daughter will do for now.

“See ya there by 5 pm then.” I tell her with a lazy wave of my arm as I turn back and go check if there’s anything on fire by the short time I’ve left. Ignoring how she pumps her fist in excitement right before darting off down the street in a steady jog.

Nearing the playground, I was not surprised at seeing Tanya holding her temporary friend in a rear naked choke from the slide’s stairs where she can actually have enough height to perform the move.

‘Looks like he’s teaching her step-by-step on how to apply the move and how to get out of it if I’m guessing correctly.’

*Crack!* ”RALTS!” She cries in surprise as she gets elbowed on the side just enough to weaken her hold, giving enough space to freely headbutt her with the back of his head and swiftly escape her holding soon after.

“Case in point.” I say to no one in particular as I watch Tanya giving Machop a mean look through teary eyes for the sudden blow, with him raising both arms in a placating manner soon after.

In any other situation I would’ve been concerned, but the machop seems very aware of how to handle his own strength so he doesn’t hurt others and looks genuinely sorry for it.

Taking advantage of their distraction, I pat the machop on the shoulder and give him a thumbs up to show that it’s fine before picking up the now recomposed fairy and carrying her under my arm like a football.

Ignoring her indignant cries to be put down, I head to a walking… stumbling in circles Nanachi who left the swing so she could play on the spinner with the Machop’s kid and is now probably enjoying how the entire horizon on her field of view is constantly spinning to the right.

“God, she’s such a dork” I bark a laugh as I slowly guide the still spinning noibat to a bench so we can talk appropriately.

“Are you two feeling up to have your first battle with another trainer? Because the chance came up sooner than we expected.” I tell them both after 40 seconds of waiting the dizziness from Nanachi to go away.

“Noi Bat!” The still cheerful squeaks of my oversized furball agree almost instantly.

Looking at the still contemplating Tanya, I wait until she’s about to say something before giving her something that not even she could refuse.

A checkmate, an ultimatum if you will, a bribe even.

“If we win, I’m buying another vanilla scoop for both of y-“ “RAAALTS!!!!!” She cuts me off with an adorable glorious warcry and looks as if she’s about declare war on the world with how determined she is right now. Nanachi also isn’t too much behind on that department if you switch determination with childish glee at the prospect of another sugary treat.

“Good, determination is an excellent thing to have when battling… I think. Spite also counts now that I think about it, but let’s leave that kind of motivation for who deserves okay? What I really need right now is that you show me what you can do Tanya, I won’t be able to help you through the battle otherwise.” I bluntly explain to her as I try to calm down the vibrating Nanachi and fail miserably on my futile effort.

“Ral.” Tanya nods with a look of understanding, taking a few steps away from us before slowly lifting one of her stumps and seemingly frowning at it for a few moments.

It doesn’t take much more than a few seconds for her stump/fist to be surrounded by a dark aura that she unleashes into a blow to the trunk of a tree nearby. The old bark cracks slightly and sheds a few splinters, but nothing out of ordinary besides that happens.

“Ral al ralt…” Tanya groans in pain, severely regretting the decision of punching solid wood with a firm shake of her fist. Said complains quickly cause my other little shit to laugh in schadenfreude at her misfortune, getting a small glare in response from the fairy.

“Yes, very funny. Now go over there on the sandbox and try to improve your time coming up with Gust faster, try to bring down those three seconds to two.” I unamusedly tell Nanachi to go do something productive since she’ll be doing nothing at this rate if I keep being a pushover with her.

Ignoring the dejected and pouting flying type, I return to the task at hand.

‘I think that was supposed to be either Knock Off or Feint Attack. But as I don’t remember the Ralts line learning the latter, I’ll put that as Knock Off.’ I shake my head at the very much pouting bat-child sulking in the corner of my vision and begin to note down the move under Tanya’s name on my journal

‘The attack seems okay for a novice, but the delivery definitely could with at some basic tips.’ I note while cringing at how she attacks without pulling her arm back or making sure of keeping her feet stabilized to not lose her balance during said attack.

Gotta fix that.

“Good job on the strike, but remember to use your own body to leverage more power into it. Like this…” I gently compliment her as I get up and turn to an imaginary dummy, keeping both feet close, raising my right arm to my chin and the left one a little lower into a probably flawed boxing stance.

Taking a look to the side, I see that she’s trying to follow up my movements and wait patiently for her to adjust before nodding.

‘Alright, time to probably butch whatever I remember about fighting.’

“The important thing here is your footwork, so try to keep your balance by bending your knees… never mind, you literally don’t have the mobility for this right now so keep this tip for later on when you evolve.” I quickly realize my mistake for not taking her physiology into account and rectify it with an awkward shrug at her clear disappointment.

“Instead, just focus on how you should slowly pull your dominant arm back, making sure of using your shoulders and hips muscles to leverage your movement into power.” I explain as I demonstrate, using the twist of my upper torso and right leg to strike the same tree she used before.

*Thud*

It’s not as flashy as her previous attempt, but I’m not about to put all my strength into punching a fucking tree of all things.

“Ral ral…” She nods in agreement before repeating the motions and getting pleased with whatever the fuck I just came up on the spot from a very faulty memory as reference.

…

‘Why the hell am I even doing this? Shouldn’t I be focusing on the special attacks instead?’ I ask myself, pinching the bridge of my nose at the probably waste of my time in encouraging a clearly special attacker into the wonderful art of punching shit.

Taking another look at the clearly eager and focused fairy, I can’t help but feel whatever reservations I have at the situation fade into thin air.

‘I promised Gardevoir that I’d take care of her and that’s what I’m going to do even if that’s the last thing I do.’

Crouching down, I pick her up and raise to my eye level before speaking with a newfound resolve.“ I’m going to make you into a goddamn Dr. Doom and I pity anyone else who tries to get in your way.”

“Alts…” She mumbles with a flustered face while waving away my statement for the near future.

“Now… let’s see what else we have at our disposal shall we?” I ask her with a grin.

The smirk that I receive is all the answer I could possibly need.

__________________

Pokémon Center (Lobby)

5:02 pm

“Lilah, ye’re late by two whole minutes. One more and I would’ve ta go find ya massehl.” Sasha quips as I approach the couch in the corner of the mostly empty lobby, casually giving a back massage to a purple frog with a lightning bolt on its forehead splayed across her lap.

‘The heck was its name again? Toxic electricity or something wasn’t it?’ Although if I were to guess, I’m betting it’s a dual poison and electric typing for sure.

“Y’know how it is, I got lost on the Road of life and had to take a few detours by the ADHD Downtown. But fortunately I took the right turn on Albuquerque and got here just in time.” Easily comes my talent at making shit up to cover my brief training session with Tanya and Nanachi for the incoming battle.

While she raises a single eyebrow at the very convincing half-truth, I bite into my last slice of pizza before also offering it to Nanachi who takes it with joy.

‘I really need to march for Rustboro by tomorrow morning, 370¥ ain’t gonna cut it if we want to stay more than one week here.’ I distractedly remind myself as I zone out whatever the hell Sasha is talking at the moment.

Something about the Center’s curry not being as good as the ones made in Postwiki or whatever the place is called, I’m not sure if that’s an actual place from the games or a made up city from the anime.

‘Hmm, neither of these two is going to be a good matchup for Roxanne. I should probably try to get a shroomish or marill on the way there or else we're fucked.’

“That’s disguntin', why in the bloody hell would ya put ketchup on it?!” Sasha asks in horror as she points a trembling, crooked finger at the ‘abomination’ called my evening meal.

‘Making such a fuss out of fucking ketchup, I would rather had just battled her than have to hear this shit.’

“Chill the fuck out, it’s just pizza. Why are you acting as if I’ve committed a war crime against humanity for putting a little bit of ketchup on it?” I ask in annoyance as I take another bite and ignore the increasing vibrations coming from the creature around my neck.

“BECAUSE THAT’S A CHOCOLATE PIZZA WITH STRAWBERRY TOPPINGS YE DAFT CUNT!” She screams in anger as she stands up in outrage, sending the previously relaxed purple frog on her lap flying across the floor with a startled ‘Xel!’ during the process.

Oh, I guess that explains why the Pizzeria owner was in tears by the time I began to leave and banned me from attending his establishment ever again.

__________________

6:00 pm

"Did ya really have ta drag us all the way to the outskirts for this? We could just've waited for our turn on the last 6 battlefields we passed ya know?" Sasha mumbles with a twitch of her eye, doing her best at not choking me for refusing to battle with a small crowd of people around to watch it.

'Thank you anxiety, I'm glad to know that you are still with me come hell or high water. Unlike a certain someone called self-confidence who ditched me through all my life.' I think sarcastically as I shrug unapologetically at the teen's clear annoyance.

"To be honest, I'm trying to get more fit lately and really needed the extended walk. Think about it as a healthy regime if you want." I answer what's technically the truth since I really need to start gaining more stamina instead of running out breath after a 12 minute walk.

"Bullshit! If ya had really thought that then ya wouldn't be eating that blasphemy called pizza earlier!" She replies with an accusing finger at my direction, also releasing her rookidee a meter or so away from her.

As I’m about to reply, I momentarily stop to watch said pokemon taking a few moments to notice where it is before having its personal space invaded by my neon painted gremlin which quickly starts chatting up with it.

The grumpy little bird looks really uncomfortable by the seemingly endless ball of energy that may as well be as dense as a generic harem protagonist for not getting the obvious discomfort on its face.

‘I have no damn idea how the bird can frown by twisting its beak like that, but it seems like the biology lessons around here became much more interesting if nothing else.’

Unfortunately for it, not even after using what I assume to be Leer seems to be enough in stopping the hype train that is my bat’s outgoing personality. If anything it just redoubled her resolve in pursuing it after trying to fly away from the smiling menace

‘You’ll be remembered soldier, I wish you good fucking luck dealing with her.’ I laugh silently at its misfortune before remembering that I still need to reply my sort of friend. Who decided to release her purple frog while I got distracted by the flying pair.

"Believe or not but it’s the truth. I want to one day have abs so firm that you could grate cheese on them. I will reach that Machio-san’s physique and you can’t stop me!” I declare while doing a poorly executed Saido Chesto.

‘Not that she'd have any idea of who Machio-san even is in the first place, but it's a nice goal to have even if I never reach such perfection during my lifetime.'

"That's... I... Why would ya..." Sasha stutters completely stupefied with a raised finger ready to counter my rock solid reasoning. 

She eventually lowers said finger and actually takes a few moments to stare vacantly at me.

...

Never mind, she isn't even looking at me anymore. She's staring right through me with eyes completely blank while struggling to process what I've said.

“Are you going to elaborate or what?” I ask after a while with a little wave of my arm.

Nothing.

‘Well, If Sasha.exe is going to take a while rebooting then I might as well let Tanya out to get familiar with the battlefield’

*Poof!*

“AAAaltss…?” Said fairy shouts bravely before realizing that there's no opponents to face yet, just Nanachi making Rookidee consider commiting murder and Toxel still trying to get his trainer’s attention with a few quiet ‘Tox’.

“Go take a look around while I try to snap that dumbass out of it, I think Rookidee over there will appreciate your help if you get Nanachi away from it.”

"Ralts." 

"Not in the mood eh? Think about it like this: you help them, they become grateful for your help and they’ll feel the need to repay you somehow later on. If you keep helping them they will feel even more inclined to help you out when you ask for it." I bluntly speak in a way the small fairy will understand.

"Ral!" Tanya exclaims in dawning comprehension, as if it all makes sense and a new world of possibilities and exploitation unfolds to her.

"Ra ralts!" She runs off in their direction with a very out of place cheerful voice. It was so out of character that it made Nanachi need to do a doubletake to confirm that it was in fact Tanya, and not some other ralts that appeared out of nowhere.

They grow so fast that it makes you wonder where did it all go so wrong...

'Wait, am I a bad influence on her?' I pause to actually reflect on the advice I gave to the very impressionable child.

Nah, I'm sure she'll get better as time goes on.

...

"Puta que pariu, Gardevoir is going to kill me if we ever meet again isnt she?" I curse weakly as I walk off to the still frozen galarian and try several methods of snapping, clapping and shouting at her.

To my dismay, it seems that anything short of pinching or jostling won’t do anything to snap her out of it.

And that’s exactly where I’ll take my losses and back away from discovering first handedly if her first reflex to being disturbed is punching the nearest person in the face.

“Toxel?” He croaks with a whining tone to Sasha, probably wanting more cuddles if how much of a fuss he made earlier on in the lobby was any hint of how needy the little shit is. Thankfully for my health and sanity, he stopped crying as soon as he was picked up by her.

‘I swear that if he kept crying like that for more than 1 minute I’d develop tinnitus for the rest of my life’

Still, the sheer annoyance that Nurse Joy managed to convey from a simple side eye for disturbing her telenovela session was outstanding. Just a single glance was enough to make Sasha take hold of her indignation at my food choices and immediately sit down with a cooler head.

This son of a bitch really was a fucking hypocrite. She chewed me out for eating sweet pizza and then out of nowhere she pulls out a pot with two toasts and BEANS! Who the fuck eats goddamn beans in their toast?!

I was so flabbergasted at her that I had to stand up and go do something else for the sake of not slapping the back of her head.

Said something was using the Center's computer to do a little more research, such as confirming that I was stuck on the Emerald timeline given that the current champion is Wallace.

Just that fact alone made me seriously consider waiting a year or two for Steven to take back his champion title so I could theoretically battle him. Not that I actually expect to reach Elite 4 levels of power with a single circuit to my name mind you.

And besides, it’d suck to get through all the trouble of training feebas into a majestic milotic just to get called a copycat in the end. I think I’m better off getting another water type instead and avoid any possible scandal it would make altogether.

‘Hmm, Lapras is still an endangered species at this point so that’s a no no. Mudkip would be very good, but there’s no fucking way I was getting one of those from the professor because I asked nicely so that’s also out.

For my luck, after a deeper research on the pc I’ve found out that one of my favorite water types are rather common around here due to the warm waters and because it’s near enough from their original region.

All I need to do is reach either Dewford or Slateport and hopefully I’ll find one of those around there.

Plans for the future aside, apparently Norman became Petalburg's Gym leader only last year to my pleasant surprise.

To say I was confused would be an understatement given that I assumed Brendan and his mother –since May is Birch's daughter– moved to Hoenn when he became the Gym Leader.

But apparently no, since there was no signs of still recovering fauna or any news covering the awakening of Groudon and Kyogre. Then it means that will probably happen during this season given my luck.

Fairies not being a official type was a little surprising I'll admit, but it was more that only a handful of researchers and trainers –like Opal– actually tried to investigate deeply the topic and the majority of the regions are still skeptical at such prospect of an entirely new typing.

After spending a thirty or so minutes in there playing chess, I was eventually forcibly removed from my match by a incensed Sasha who swapped her shorts for a red skirt and the tank top with a hand-sewn black sweater while I ditched her.

"Wait, does that mean that they shaved a shiny Wooloo to make yours or did they dye it?" I abruptly ask Sasha, hoping that she'll answer the damn question.

...

"Okay this is getting ridiculous at this point." I drawl before walking back to my side of the field and opening my bag to retrieve a few watery bombs.

Let's see...

‘A little lower, a bit to the left and just a moderate use of strength should be enough...’

I bit my tongue a little, pulling my arm back and preparing myself take the shot while adjusting the angle so I can hit her straight in the face for the best results.

Sadly for my plans, just as I’m about to throw it her rookidee comes from above like a vengeful god to help her. And by help I mean pecking her head with so much anger that makes me wonder what the fuck was Nanachi talking so much that made it this pissed off.

“Ouch! S-Stop ye wee-AH! Bloody-OW! Bastart!” Sasha yells at the bird shaped anger to halt the relentless pecks to her skull. Which seems like the wrong choice of words since it instead aimed for one of the braids on her face by closing its claws around it and pulling with all its might.

Needless to say that what comes next from her mouth is enough to make a sailor blush.

__________________

"Rock!" "Scissors!" We both say at the same time to decide who had the disadvantage of choosing their pokemon first.

Take a guess in which of us lost?

"Fine, Tanya you're up." I call the little fairy who seems delighted at the incoming violence.

"Toxy, get yer arse in there lad. Let's show 'em what a good beatin' feels like!" My opponent taunts from the other side with a surprisingly gentle tone at the smaller creature.

The twitching of her mouth, however, tells me that she's doing some effort to contain a knowing grin from forming on her face.

"3!"

Does it have something to do about the type matchup?

"2!"

The glint in her eyes literally screams how smug she is about this.

"1!"

‘Whatever it may be, at least she isn’t the only one with an advantage going on here.’

"Go!"

"Burn the child!" "Metal Sound!" We both yell our commands at the same time.

Wait, metal wha-

*ScreeEEEEeeeeEEEEEeeEEEEEEEK!*

The demonic spawn in front of my eyes does its best impression of someone writing with a rusty nail on a blackboard, while also amplifying it on a goddamn low quality speaker to make it even worse to my hearing.

The sound is so horrible that everyone with the exception of Sasha who quickly covered her ears in anticipation visibly flinched at the insupportable sound. Even poor Nanachi is caught in it and started screeching in pain as she tries to cover her ears to no avail.

On the good side Tanya’s ghostly flames landed without much trouble at the purple demon and she wastes no time in setting up the double team we practiced earlier in the day.

Not willing to waste time and let them take the lead, I order with a small fist pump “Now use Confusion!”

Tanya the absolute menace that she is quickly channels a baseball sized sphere of pink energy and throws at her foe. If one were to point out that she looked exactly as I did when I’ve thrown my balloons at both her and Nanachi when neither of the two would stop arguing in the streets for more than 3 minutes earlier today, then I would simply come up with my smuggest face and plead the fifth in my defense.

“Forget ‘em! Hit that ball with Acid before it gets ya!” Sasha shouts in panic at seeing her baby pokemon hesitate at seeing multiple copies of Tanya moving around the field. The painful  burns flaring on his skin probably makes it much worse on his senses given that he can’t seem to focus in none of the copies for too long without flinching in pain.

The toxel unfortunately seems more determined than ever and spits a sickeningly yellow glob at the incoming projectile, partially weakening it enough that the damage it receives is much more mitigated.

“Tox.” He grunts in pain, taking heavier breaths and becoming stiffer with every abrupt movement.

One more Confusion should be enough to take him ou-

“Tch! Get ‘em with Flail!’ Sasha suddenly yells with a sideswipe of her hand.

Fuck.

Toxy immediately starts zigzagging around with small jumps as he rapidly approaches Tanya while avoiding her Confusion blasts.

‘Shit, she won’t be able to hit him at this rate.’ I realize with an increasing amount of panic at the nearing toxel.

“Forget trying use Confusion! Wait for him to come for you and punch the motherfucker!”

Tanya dutifully prepares herself and does her best impression of adult Gon at gathering dark energy into her fist. Meanwhile Toxy jumps into the air and pulls back his head in preparation for a mean headbutt at his foe.

“RALLLTS!” “TOOOO, XEL!” They yell in defiance to each other’s attacks, neither willing to back down or dodge the incoming blows.

Tanya obscured fist slams with a thunderous crack at the reptile’s ribs while Toxy’s headbutt crashes at her face with a sickening crunch. They stay still for a brief moment before both of them are thrown in opposite directions completely knocked out.

Look, I would be lying if I say that this wasn’t the most anime fight I’ve ever seen in a while. But even I was shocked at the glorious scene playing out before my very eyes.

Given the Galarian’s slack jawed face, I’m betting that she also hadn’t expected something like this at all.

Nearing the unconscious creatures, we awkwardly stare at each other before reluctantly pulling out their balls.

“Uh, I think we should probably check them at the Center.” I eventually say after not seeing neither of our partners move an inch from where they landed

“Joy’s goin’ ta bloody kill me…” Sasha whispers with a dead tone and paler than a sheet.

I have only a few moments to process what she just said before she returns her toxel and starts running off desperately to the Center's general direction, cursing a storm under her breath.

...

“Nurse Joy and Chansey are going to tear me a new one when they see the cracked horn aren’t they?” I numbly ask my remaining companion as I gently poke Tanya’s unconscious body with her ball and recall her.

“Bat.” Nanachi sagely nods with a quiet squeak from my side, clearly disappointed at not having a go with Rookidee.

'Well, it was good while it lasted I guess.'

“Don’t worry, I’m sure we can find someone for you to fight along the way to Rustboro.” I distractedly console Nanachi with gentle pats between her ears and place her on my neck before walking off into the night.

The fact that I took my sweet time to enjoy our casual stroll across the well illuminated streets definitely has nothing to do with the imminent death sentence that awaits me at the hands of two medical professionals in the Center.

Chapter Text

Chansey

"Do you like fruits? I like fruits! Their juice is delicious! I once ate a funny looking one that grew from the floor and started seeing funny colors and shapes. I don't know what happened from there but I remember waking up with an awful headache a few hours later." The unholy one spews in a single breath to her new friend.

From her side, the comically smaller bird next to the abnormally large noibat repeatedly bangs her face against the pastel colored walls of the room. Muttering "Please make it stop." over and over like a broken record.

Chansey has seen a fair share of personalities in her 12 years of career, but that big ball of fluff has to be on her top 10 most annoying patients. Not that she hates a good conversation here and there, but even she has limits to how much she can handle being tortured with words by someone who just won't shut up.

'Definetly top 7, but at least the noibat isn't even near the levels of, as Mary succinctly says, word vomit the Chatot line can produce.' She muses idly, finishing the wrap of the last bandages around the psychic's horn. Making sure that it won't come off by itself if her patient moves too much in her sleep.

"You'll pay for this transgression against my immaculate dignity, I'll make you regret ever daring to smash your horrendous face at my unrivaled magnificence!" The ralts shouts indignantly at the equally pissed off reptile.

If one were to look closer, they’d be able to see a vein popping out of his forehead and how the tightening of his jaw was the first warning to the imminent shouting match about to start.

"Well, excuuuuse me princess! I didn't know you were so weak that you'd faint from a single hit." Toxel sasses her with no small amount of sarcasm, quickly dodging another hit aimed at his face from the psychic.

How come the sweet little boy's personality instantly vanished the moment his trainer and her friend were dragged to a side room by the ears? It makes her wonder why he makes such an innocent act, maybe it is because of the cuddles? food? She probably will never know.

"So, what did you two learn with these reckless moves?" She asks the two spiteful children in front of her with a strained smile, trying to make the situation better by making them reflect on their errors.

"I need to get stronger and more accurate." "I should’ve been moving from the get go." They say in synch completely unapologetic at going as far as using their full strength in a supposedly simple spar.

She can feel her smile crack just a little and her left eye start twitching at their response.

Forget it, she probably won't be able to fix what's beyond repair at this point. Such as Mary's obsession with cheesecake, last time she had tried to make her stop eating the cursed edible every 3rd day of the week for her own good.

Unsurprisingly Mary didn't take it very well to say the least. Of all reactions to getting rid of her addiction, Chansey wasn't expecting for her to be brutally attacked by a wild beast in human form a single day after discovering the missing meal.

She still shudders at remembering how she was thrown around like a pillow when she tried to prank her co-worker by hiding the Tea Eevee's control when Mary's favorite human show was about to start and she couldn't turn it on.

What does she even see in watching dramas about noble ladies falling in love with enemy ninjas spying on them? Is it because of the forbidden love or there must be something in the water affecting their common sense?

"Hmph, as if you could move like that constantly. It's a surprise how you managed to accomplish such a task with those chubby paws of yours." The ralts scoffs with audible disdain, pointing at Toxel's limbs in a dismissive manner.

"Eh?! As if you could talk, miss scrawny arms! Heh, I bet your normal punches are as strong as a fluffy feather!" The poison type croaks in response, eliciting a furious glare from the psychic.

"You're really begging for another beating aren't you?! C'mon then, let's go outside and I'm going to show you how powerful those 'feathers' really are!"

Chansey really regrets her career choices sometimes.

__________________

Lilah

“Hypothetically speaking, how much could I sell this makeup kit for if I were to try my luck in a beauty shop?” I ask my intruder guest from the opposite bunker bed in the room, where I’m searching for stuff that I could possibly sell and won’t be missed on the long run.

Said guest who made her way into my own room after Joy’s scolding session ended. The audacity of this girl really knows no bounds since she straight up ignored my subtle hints at telling her that I was tired and wanted to be left alone by bulldozing her way in and stealing the spare bed for herself. 

“Why would ye even sell it in the first place? Ain’t ye using it right noo?” Sasha retorts in a distracted voice as she turns on the TV and starts looking for something interesting to watch.

“No? If I were using it then I wouldn't be selling the damn thing now would I? Never had the need to use it before, might as well sell it and get some money.”

Sasha abruptly stops swapping the TV channels to stare at me with a raised brow. “Lilah, ye look like ye didnae kip for twa weeks straight with those eye bags of yers. Are ye honestly tellin' me that ye want to get rid of the only thing that will cover those for cash?"

Is kip supposed mean sleep?

“Of course I am! I always take naps whenever I can and don't feel particularly tired during the day, so there’s not much I can do about them. And besides, it'll probably fix itself with time." I answer honestly the sudden question with a shrug, opening a zipper on my bag so I can hydrate myself.

She just gives me an unimpressed look and points accusingly at me before speaking in a monotone voice. "Ye always walks and sits with yer shoulders slumped. If I didnae ken better, I would assume ye’re an overworked office salarywoman instead of a trainer.”

‘What the hell does that even have to do with the damn question?!’

"That may be because I have a mild case of scoliosis and end up not noticing when I do.” I tiredly explain and take a big gulp from my water bottle.

...

'Now hold on a goddamn minute, do I still actually have scoliosis or is my brain so accustomed to me having it that I'm subconsciously defaulting into a shrimp posture?’ I suddenly realize with a frown at the implication of slowly becoming one in a krillion once again.

Meanwhile Sasha seems mildly surprised at the information I gave her and a look of realization dawns on her face.

“Guess me maw was right when she said having big diddies to carry isnae that good of a thing after all~” She says in a knowing tone while looking directly at my chest.

Looking down in confusion and still trying to translate what the hell she means. I’m suddenly reminded then and there that compared to her I am, in fact, carrying some heat and promptly choke mid drink when my brain fully comprehends her words.

*Cough!* *Cough!*

It takes a few punches to the chest for me to remove all the water from my windpipe and to be able to breathe again, which allows me to give the coldest glare I can come up with at the smug prick wheezing on her bed.

“Ha! Ye had ta see yer face!” She laughs from her seat, holding on to her stomach in a vain attempt at stopping her laughter.

‘I see what you did there smartass, but two can play the same game.’ 

Looking at the still snickering teen, I feel myself smirking at remembering something that you should never do under any circumstances to a girl. Even more so when said girl is almost as flat as a ruler.

“At least with time and correct posture I can fix that. And correct me if I’m wrong, but there’s no cure for being a drawing board is there?” I ask in faux attempt at looking distracted, slowly patting Nanachi who is too engrossed torturing the ''unconscious'' Rookidee to notice the shitshow about to start.

“...”

Looking back at her, I notice that I've struck a nerve by how her left eye started to twitch and the smile on her face seemingly froze in place.

Where there was entertainment and mirth, now lays a strained smile and eyes narrowed dangerously.

“Wit did ye say just noo ta me yer fugly skank?” She asks with a slight edge to her tone.

‘Am I really about to push the buttons of someone who looks like they are about to cut my body into pieces and bury them across the region?’ I wonder, already knowing the answer as my smirk turns into a full-blown grin.

Standing up and slowly walking over the door with my confused noibat safely tucked under my arm, I wait until I'm outside at the corridor before speaking loud and clear.

“I Said. That. You. Are. As. Flat. As. A. Luvdisc.” I slowly spell to her with a bob of my head at each word.

'This is it, they'll never find my body parts and I still think it was absolutely worth it.' I think in resignation as bright blue eyes eerily stare at me in silence for a few seconds before turning to her duffel bag and picking up a fancy game boy advance.

*Ding!*

Never mind, it’s just a Pokédex and apparently I’m too dumb to notice the difference between the two.

…

Wait, does that means that she had it all this time and never talked about it once?!

Without acknowledging my mental breakdown, she quickly starts tapping at the device in search of something.

And whatever she searched up instantly makes her face shift into a caricature of something that reminds me of an annihilape.

I only had a brief second to take a glimpse at the image of a Luvdisc on the device before needing to run for my life as Sasha furiously springs from the bed after me.

The fact that I and Nanachi were laughing hysterically the whole time only made the storm of slurs coming out of her mouth worse.

Needless to say that it took until 1 am for her to stop trying to beat me to death while chasing me from the Center’s empty halls to the entirety of Petalburg's urban district and alleyways.

The next morning both of us woke up with numerous bruises, dirty clothes from rolling around the floor and quite a few complaints from the townsfolk who lost some sleep over us two trying to kill each other.

My overall opinion about the whole mess? An excellent friendship exercise, would bash her face against a street sign repeatedly/10.

__________________

Only after going through the morning routine of splashing some cold water on my face and getting some food in my stomach that I grudgingly nodded in respect to the silent galarian with a mean streak for kicks.

She just kept staring at me with an appraising look on her face before suddenly standing up and extending a hand at me.

"What, want to do it all again next week? We don't even need to go through all the trouble of insulting each other like yesterday, just straight up hands on sight." I jokingly propose with a raised brow at the still hanging hand.

To my surprise, the challenging grin creeping up on her face all but told me I hit spot on my guess.

I could also feel a small smile budding on my face, which hurt as hell with my swollen cheek, but a newfound sense of camaraderie was forged in that single moment where I clasped her hand with my own and had a firm shake to seal the deal.

After the following 30 minutes arguing over inane shit, we've also unanimously agreed that it would be better to travel by ourselves than going together and risk our very high chances of committing homicide by the end of the week.

__________________

Route 104

7:47 PM

"Are you two satisfied from the early dinner? From this point out we're only going to eat when I set camp." I ask one last time while checking the batteries on my flashlight, closing the backpack over my shoulder and adjusting my trusty fedora for the road ahead.

"Ral." "Noibat!" I'll take that as a 'yep' and a 'definitely'. 

Surprisingly, the road ahead is actually pretty straight forward. No overgrown vegetation to make me trip, clear trekking marks, no signs of other pokémons to block our way, and the most important of all: no signs of people waiting to battle the first living being that happens to make eye contact with them.

Since I already had fulfilled my quota of human interaction for the entire month in the span of a single day, I chose to entirely avoid the whole bullshit of overexcited youngsters and the few paid volunteers that I would very probably meet along the way by simply going out during the night.

After all, who would willingly set camp from morning to midnight for a single battle?

Aside from Sasha of course, that one definitely has a few screws loose.

'Fuck all of that, I'll take a calm walk through the woods at night every single time if it means I get to keep my peace of mind.' I nod to myself one last time, feeling the cold wind blowing my hair against my face.

"Shame I've lost my hairband in the middle of yesterday's scuffle." I mutter despondently at the wasted money before freezing at the sudden feeling of something lodging itself inside the dense mass of purple hair on my lower back.

'What the hell?!'

Frantically looking at the spot on where Tanya is now suspiciously missing from, it doesn’t take too much to understand what just happened in the brief moment I lowered my guard.

“Aw, hell no! You don’t get to pull this Zoroark bullshit on me.” I grit through my teeth as I quickly grab a handful of my own hair and violently spin it like a lasso in a vain attempt at dislodging the now missing fairy.

After four minutes of effort searching for her wasted without a single sign of the little shit coming out, I eventually have to give up and concede the victory to her this time around.

'If I didn't know better I would've assumed there's a pocket dimension in there somewhere.' I sigh in exasperation at their antics, swiftly picking up my noibat and making sure that she's comfy on her favorite spot.

"Bat bat bat bat!" The strawberry scented creature snickers from behind me where she plops her chin on top of my hat.

She doesn’t even bothers to hide her amusement at my expense this time, knowing full well that she also isn't in the clear with me for today.

Apparently while Tanya was a bless of calm and composure to let me bathe her without too much fuss, my gremlin liked the bubbles on the bathtub a little too much and wanted to make it known for everyone else since she escaped from my grasp with ease and proceeded to run like a headless chicken all over the bedroom.

To say that Sasha was bewildered at coming back from the PokéMart to the scene of me cursing like a sailor and a noibat shaped bubble monster slipping through my fingers every time I got to her would be an understatement.

"No mangoes for you today then, it’s really a shame since they are so juicy isn’t it? Maybe I should give them to Tanya inst–" I deadpan before getting interrupted by wings suddenly wrapping around my face in a tight hold.

"BAAAAT!" She cries in despair, frantically shaking me with her wings in a desperate attempt to make me forgive her.

What she didn't take into account, however, was that me being disoriented as hell made me trip on a rock and fall face first into the dirt.

Not that taking a closer look at the soil stopped her from still violently shaking me for thinking that I'd actually deny her mangoes.

Looks like this is going to be a looong night.

__________________

8:20 PM

"I'm warning you for last time, if you chew on my t-shirt, again, I'm going to throw you into the sand down there." I threaten the 'small' bug type who crawled on my leg while I was occupied stargazing from the edge of a small cliff over the sea shore.

The scene of the small shore light up by the moonlight and the star filled sky was way too beautiful for me to simply ignore.

So beautiful that I almost didn't notice the old man's home with a small harbor and ship a hundred or so meters away down the path.

'The other five wooden houses around are new though.' I quietly note with mild surprise as I try not to bonk the derpy bug who is about to take another nibble at the hem of my brand new t-shirt.

And I may or may not have screamed like a little girl at the sensation of feeling the little legs crawling over my skin.

"Waaddle!" It... He... She? Yeah it's definitely a she from the high pitch, happily chirps from her spot over my lap.

'Another female? There's no fucking way this isn't some sort of elaborate joke by Arceus at this point.' I tiredly groan to myself, feeling Nanachi curiously prod at the currently distracted sewaddle trying to sew my clothes into a brand new accessory.

As Sun Tzu definitely once said: Once is happenstance. Twice is a coincidence. Three times is enemy action.

'What is a sewaddle even doing here in Hoenn in the first place? Aren't they supposed to be from Unova???' I wonder perplexedly as I watch her mouth get dangerously close to my clothes.

*Bonk*

"Waa!" The bug cries in surprise at the feeling of my closed fist slightly impacting her head just as she was about to bite it again.

"No sewing clothes! If you want to sew something use leaves then, there's plenty of that around for you."  I reprimand with a stern face, a stern face that immediately crumbles at the pitifully sad look she gives me.

'Fucking hell she really pulled the puppy eyes, one of my numerous weaknesses.'

"Noi Bat..." Nanachi says in disappointment, shaking her head at me for making the bug type sad.

Et Tu, Brute?

As if it couldn't get any worse for my situation, even Tanya jumps out of my hair to comfort the sewaddle with words of consolation.

I almost believed then and there that she was genuine in her kindness, but when the other two weren't look directly at her, she quickly smirked and shook her head in a condescending manner as if to say 'Shame on your whole family, shame on you and shame on your miltank'.

With a sigh, I open my backpack and pull an apple as a apology gift and pat the now instantly happy looking bug.

The little shit was fooling me the whole time just to get a snack.

'Screw it, who needs a Breeloom anyway? I'll make do with these assholes instead.' I think in annoyance as I pick one spare pokéball and drop it on sewaddle's head.

*Shake*

*Shake*

*Ding!*

Ignoring the cheering noibat and the still  way too smug ralts, I pick up Sewaddle's ball and release her in front of me.

*Poof!*

Kneeling down, I pick her up and stare directly in her eyes.

"Welcome to the team Artoria, you'll fit right in." I confidently say to the awestruck bug.

A few seconds later I receive a String Shot to the face and spend the next three minutes trying to remove it as Tanya and Nanachi laugh their ass off with their new friend.

Chapter Text

After taking a small detour along the stairs near the slope, I take my time to let the trio get acquainted with each other while I took some pictures of the scenery.

It didn’t take too much for me to understand that the newly named Artoria was quite displeased at being quite literally caught by surprise.

She didn't mind joining us if that's what you're wondering. What she minded, however, was being a very stuffed bug one instant and out of nowhere feel herself being sucked into a small compartment in the next.

"Sewa See Waddle." Said bug drily replies to whatever Tanya had asked.

The fairy type seems to momentarily lose her composure before snorting and walking off to me with a small smile on her face.

'If she's in good humor then I probably should be worried for my future. But I hope that at least this whole thing is doing something for whatever she got going on in her mind.'

But that still won't make me forget what this prick did earlier tonight and I'm anything but a very forgiving person to misgivings against me.

"Stop right there criminal scum, your days of illegally trespassing into my hair has ended once and for all." I declare in the deepest tone of voice I can muster from my fucked up vocal chords.

I may also have stayed in a certain cowboy posture, with my fingers anxiously tapping at Tanya's pokéball on my belt like a gunslinger would his revolver.

[Amusement]

The stagger I feel as a sudden burst of emotion all but crashes into my mind is almost enough to make me stumble and fall over. But nothing that a quick shake of my head couldn't fix.

'The hell was that? It felt like that one time I was about to win an Uno match and there was nothing the other poor fuckers players could do to stop me...' I groan dazedly, feeling a slight headache surging on my forehead.

Looking back at the cocky ralts slowly walking in my direction with both arms outstretched in a challenging manner, any surprise I had at the sudden development of her empath skills immediately evaporates and is replaced by wariness at the oozing boldness coming out of the misfit.

"Now you've done it pal, get ready to receive the meanest noogie you have ever received in your life." I tell the nonplussed fairy that simply makes a 'come at me' motion with her stubs in response.

'That's it, I'm going to dunk you into the ocean and damn the bath you took today'

__________________

Petalburg Woods

11:12 PM

“I've had a few little love affairs
They didn't last very long and they've been pretty scarce
I used to think I was sensible
It makes the truth even more incomprehensible

Cause everything is new
And everything is you
And all I've learned has overturned
What can I dooooo~?

 Don't go wasting your emoootion!
Lay all your love on meeee!
Don't go sharing your devoootion!
Lay all your love on meeeeee!”

I loudly sing with all my heart along the lyrics of my favorite song that my phone is currently playing on the background, serving also as an excellent distraction from the monotony of walking through the way too quiet forest.

“Baaat baat noibaaat~” My fellow partner in good musical taste joins for the last part of the song, bouncing from side to side behind my neck with her restless energy.

‘I don’t even care that my voice sounds raspy as shit and doesn’t mash well with the heavenly vocals at this point.’ That’s in how good of a mood I’m right now.

Somewhere along the way I even passed by an immense tree where a bunch of treeckos curiously popped their heads out of by the sudden karaoke session nearing their colony. At the annoyed stares I simply waved in a apologizing manner for the disturbance and walked away with a sigh, knowing I just filled my grass type slot a few hours before.

Not that I regret caughting Artoria mind you, Leavanny is one of my favorite pokémons despite having such a hard time having a ridiculous amount of weaknesses.

Although I still don’t know why that tree in particular gave me a severe sense of deja vú and I can’t possibly fathom why I feel like I should remember it.

‘Eh, if I don’t remember then it wasn’t that important.’ I shrug while squinting my eyes at the dark forest. The moonlight is sparse and the few rays that peek through the canopy are just enough for me to see clearly a dozen or so meters ahead before fading into darkness.

Who would have thought that finding your way out of here without knowing where the tree line ended would be difficult? Certainly not me, no sir.

But I have to admit, despite the few drawbacks of having a harder time navigating my way out, having to turn off my lantern so my eyes could better adapt to the darkness ahead, and feeling a unholy amount of ghost types gazing on the back of my head. The blast I’m having at grooving my way across the shadowy forest is an absurd positive in my eyes and there's no amount of rowdy ghosts that'll break my stride.

'And speaking of the devil...' 

“Fuck off! If I see you getting near again I’ll sick my sociopathic fairy on your ghostly ass you hear me!?” I yell at the misdreavus who for some fucking reason decided to follow me and keeps trying to pull as many jumpscares on me as often as it can.

Which is essentially 5 or 8 minutes of interval between each of them. 

Going from popping out from behind a tree and screeching like a banshee to pulling my hair when I'm not too focused.

“Dreavus mis!” It snickers before fading into the shadows of the forest once more.

'Dramatic son of bitch aren't you?' I scoff with a roll of my eyes at the drama queen.

Joke's on them, I’m already dead inside from how many times I almost shitted myself playing Alien Isolation.

__________________

2:47 AM

Aqua Grunt Richard

Richard isn't being paid enough for this bullshit.

...

Well, not that he is paid much in the first place. But it's the sentiment that counts.

His only and sole job will start tomorrow and he desperately wants to be well rested for when the ambush takes place in the following days. But instead of having a restful night as he planned, he has the shitty luck of being woken up by his poochyena growling at something deep in the woods.

He quickly scrambled to his feet and picked up his PokéNav to see better through the camera’s night filter. Before immediately regretting his decision with a hiss of pain at turning on the device with its brightness set to maximum.

After recovering his vision, he'd even gone as far as lowering himself to the vegetation in a stealthy attempt of searching for any movement he could spot along the dim lit forest. His efforts are eventually rewarded by the faint echo of an insane laughter ringing through the deathly silent place.

‘After all, who in good consciousness would bother entering the forest at the dead of the night if not an insane person?’ He snarks in the recess of his sleep deprived mind.

And that’s without mentioning the significant increase in ghosts appearing all over the place the later it got to midnight.

“We'll meet again
Don't know where
Don't know when
But I know we'll meet again some sunny day!

Keep smiling through
Just like you always do~
Till the blue skies drive the dark clouds far away!”

Richard could already feel the hair all over his body starting to stand up as the sound of a girl’s creepy voice got nearer and nearer to his location. The shaking of his hands certainly didn’t help the recording of his camera at finding from where it’s coming from.

“So will you please say: Hello
To the folks that I know
Tell them I won't be long
They'll be happy to know that as you saw me go
I was singing this song

We'll meet again
Don't know where
Don't know wheeen!
But I know we'll meet again some sunny day!”

Soon, the lanky figure of a teenager peacefully strolling in the direction of the forest’s exit appears in the periphery of his vision and he snaps the camera to the most unbelievable thing he has ever seen in a long time.

“We'll meet again
Don't know where
Don't know when
But I know we'll meet again some sunny day

Keep smiling through
Just like you always do
Till the blue skies drive the dark clouds far awayyy~”

The worst part of it all wasn’t even the clearly psychotic teenager, but the uncountable amount of ghosts following from the shadows also joining in the chorus of the disturbing melody.

With the chorus members varying from a myriad of commonly seen ghosts like Duskulls, Haunters and Shuppets to the hardly spotted Gengars, Banettes and Dusknoirs.

“So will you please say: Hello
To the folks that I know
Tell them I won't be long
They'll be happy to know that as you saw me go
I was singin' this song

We'll meet again
Don't know where!
Don't know when
But I know we'll meet again some sunny daaaaaaay!”

By the time the girl wishes farewell to the crowd of followers merrily singing along, Richard is nowhere to be seen. Having already recalled his partner and retreated to anywhere else that wasn’t this cursed place.

The PokéNav dropped where he once stood went entirely unnoticed during his frantic attempt at getting as far away as he could.

__________________

Route 104 (Upper Half)  

3:10 AM

Lilah

“I get it… I finally get it.” I mutter under my breath so I don’t wake up the snoring noibat in my arms, feeling absolutely stupefied at the whole experience I just had in the last few hours as I cross the bridge leading to Rustboro city.

The entire time I spent there felt like a damn trip and I can’t really say that I won’t try it again any of these days if I ever feel bored.

Is this why your average hex maniac has so many ghosts? Can’t say I blame them if all ghosts are like this regularly and people just avoid them because they’re creepy or scary.

'Except misdreavus, that one in particular can go fuck itself for all I care.'

“Although the look on its face when I gifted them a glittler bomb and said there was some food inside was priceless.” I laugh at remembering the sparkling ghost who stared me dead in the eyes in disbelief at what just happened.

Moments later it popped out of existence out of sheer embarrassment at falling for the oldest trick in the book.

“Hey! What do you think you are doing out there at this hour!?” Someone under the streetlamps ahead yells from the top of an Arcanine.

Blinking the drowsiness out of my eyes, I wait for my vision to focus and realize that it’s an Officer Jenny frowning at me approaching the city’s entrance.

‘Oh fuck, it’s the feds! Quick, think of an excuse brain!’

“I was taking a walk.” I blurt in panic.

“What kind of walk?” She asks with a heavy dose of skepticism in her tone.

“I left Petalburg and went to take a walk through the woods. Ended up losing myself along the way, met a prick of a misdreavus and had the best time of my life with some brand new friends in there.”

…

“Although I’m pretty sure I’ve heard someone having an asthma attack when I was about to leave followed by a shadowy figure sprinting deeper into the forest.” I add as an afterthought.

“D- Do you have any idea how stupid that is? And you still call it a ‘walk’???” She sputters.

“Very enthusiast walks through the woods.” I nod shamelessly at her disbelieving face.

Sometimes reality is crazier than any kind of fiction, I wonder if I should’ve just lied instead since it’d be more convincing.

Jenny just tiredly shakes her head in exasperation in response before freezing in place.

“Wait, what was that last part?” She abruptly asks when my final words sink in.

“I think I saw someone having an asthma attack and they ran away before I could try to help.”

“Are you sure this wasn’t one of the ghosts playing tricks on you?” She questions me with a more frantic tone, hoping I may have seen just an hallucination.

“Nah, I’m pretty sure of what I’ve seen.” I affirm with absolute confidence.

There’s no way it could’ve been one of them when literally every other ghost in the forest seemingly decided to join the bandwagon by the end of my adventure.

“Shit, do me a favor and just follow the main street for a few minutes until you find the Pokémon Center. I’ll need to go and search for an about to be missing person if what you’ve told me is correct.” She tiredly curses before darting off into the distance where I’ve come from.

‘Huh, hope whoever was there gets better. Would be a shame if they died because there was no one nearby to help.’ I idly think while vacantly staring at the shrinking form of Officer Jenny's well-toned legs.

‘…’

Wow, I must really be out of it aren’t I? Hopefully a good sleep will solve the problem.

Chapter Text

Pokémon Center (Cafeteria)

8:45 AM

So, turns out that the following days where I spent mostly out of it by sleeping until afternoon and training by evening was quite eventful to say the least.

Let’s start by the order of events that happened from the moment I sleepily reserved my room to the shitshow about to happen.

First, Officer Jenny calls two more officers to cover a bigger area and they eventually find a lost PokéNav. From there they track the owner’s scent on it and eventually find the guy being chased by ghosts that probably felt his fear and started tormenting him.

Second, it was actually a grunt from Team Aqua and not some kid choking to death due to lack of air. The guy stubbornly refused to answer any questions that were made and denied having any ulterior motives at the time.

But, as Karma is a bitch they eventually found out that from the messages on his confiscated PokéNav there was a plan to rob classified documents from researchers working for Devon Corporation by an insider who would coax one of them to expose themselves for the grunt.

And now that plan has gone to shit because the dumb fucker lost the only thing that could possibly give him enough charges to actually get jailed for a few years.

Sadly, the contacts were smart enough to use codenames and the League can’t track their very probably modified devices.

‘And those two things bring us to the present situation I currently am...’ I numbly trail off as the mess hall’s television showcases a reporter interviewing the same ponytailed Jenny I’ve encountered that night.

In a normal situation I would still be calm since she was vague with descriptions and didn’t mention my name at all, but it seems that Karma still wasn’t finished with her plans since a very sparkly looking ghost pops into existence in the now shrieking news anchor’s studio and drops a pendrive labeled ‘159741-C’ on their table.

I can only glare at the red eyed menace that turns to the camera and smirks smugly before disappearing as fast as it appeared in the first place.

After a few seconds calming down, the curiosity of the crew in the studio wins over and they hesitantly play the contents they were handed.

It takes a while for me to understand what the hell I’m even watching, but when the sound of a familiar song gets louder I slowly shrink into my seat. Feeling like I’m witnessing a car crash and can’t seem able to look away from the figure of a purple haired teen holding on to an imaginary microphone slowly swinging side to side along the rhythm of the melody.

At some point the guy recording the footage drops the camera with a quiet ‘fuck it’ and, to my dismay, from the sideways position of it anyone can still see as I gather the majority of the ghosts behind me and take a picture of us all.

It essentially ends up with a couple gengars and haunters making grimaces, dusclops trying to be menacing but just end up looking either derpy or edgy, and a few banettes posing dramatically for the picture like magical girls.

“Did that piece of shit seriously stole confidential evidence just to fuck me over because of a prank?” I whisper in shock with an utterly flabbergasted face.

“Wait, don’t tell me that was actually you.” A chubby youngster from the table at my left trails off and I immediately regret voicing my thoughts out loud as everyone in our immediate vicinity snap their heads to me and immediately do a double take.

Fortunately, no one else farther than two tables away seemed to mind the sudden staring session and returned to their conversations.

Unfortunately, this still leaves me with half a dozen incredulous stares screaming that I’m batshit insane.

“What? I was bored, are you telling me that y’all wouldn’t do the same?” I weakly defend myself while trying not to kill myself from the sheer embarrassment of getting caught on 4K in the local news channel because of some asshole’s pettiness.

The deadpans I receive spoke louder than any words ever could.

Only a young looking girl with a green bandanna over her light brown hair a few tables over ranting incoherently about ‘there having two of them now’ to her stoic treecko and still eating wingull actually speaks at all.

...

‘Wait, why the fuck do I care if they think I’m crazy? I literally don’t know these guys and it’s not like I’m going to meet them again anyway.’ I suddenly have an epiphany when I was about to try and sink deeper into my seat.

Taking a moment to close my eyes and take a deep breath, I feel the few remaining fucks I still had on me disappear for good.

‘Fuck it, may as well just get out of here and go explore the Trainer’s School a few blocks over.’ Maybe I could learn something interesting for once.

I’m about to stand up and leave then and there when I hear the sounds of heavy steps loudly approaching the cafeteria’s entrance with an alarming velocity.

*Bang!*

Someone violently opens the doors on the far end of the room and I instantly freeze as wide blue eyes frantically skims over the startled crowd of trainers before locking on me.

“YE FOOKIN’ HEID CASE! I LET YER SORRY ARSE ALONE FER THREE DAYS AND YA MAKE IT TO THE NEWS!?” An incensed Sasha yells at the top of her lungs before immediately running at top speed in my direction.

I don't even bother wasting my breath with denials and stand up from my seat, quickly squaring up to the imminent clusterfuck about to happen.

'All I ask is a goddamn peaceful week, is it that hard to have something so simple?' I grumpily complain before getting tackled to the floor by a wild human. 

__________________

10:28 AM

"Did you really need to dropkick me into the damn kitchen?" I ask from the bench we’ve sat down on the seaside of the city where the docks are.

After the 'civilized' conversation we had through the beautiful art of brawling like savages, neither of us had much energy to spend besides walking around and sightseeing.

My original plans to go around the Trainer’s School and see if I could watch some classes actually went quite well, I managed to register myself to a few classes like Grooming, Dietary Needs, theoretical classes about Type Energies and the last slot available I picked Occultism because nothing else caught my interest.

I should be able to join them by tomorrow in the morning for the maximum period of two weeks. Any more than that I had to become a permanent student and actively participate of the classes.

This brings us to the present, where we lazily enjoy the morning sun on an iron bench facing the beach a little below us. Where our team is currently playing around a game of ‘who hits the other the most wins’

From what I’m seeing from here, it looks like Toxy and Tanya are literally waging war on each other while Nanachi, Artoria, Grumpy (AKA Rookidee) and a very shy looking marill with its name still up for debate peacefully have a small talk.

‘Well, three of them are at least.‘

Grumpy –and what an apt name that is for the blue ball of feathers– is only feigning interest on whatever they are discussing and keeps glancing at the warfront a few meters away from them.

That is until a stray blast of sand smacks Artoria in the face, she calmly excuses herself before crawling to the distracted duo and spewing so much String Shots at them that neither can get out by themselves. None of the other three seem to dare and mention what just happened besides a few wary glances at the smug sewaddle.

My bug type smugness aside, I had the pleasant surprise of discovering that the cost for a ferry to Dewford is a measly 1000¥. So I don't actually need to bother keeping an eye out for Peeko's kidnapping to gain a free ride from the old man.

'That and the fact that I may have unintentionally thrown off some plans of Team Aqua just enough for them to retreat from Rustboro entirely.

*Crack*

“Ye also didnae had ta throw me arse out of the bloody windae, but ye dinnae see me complainin’ do ya?” Sasha finally retorts after struggling to crack her neck for a solid minute.

"I only did that because you slammed a chair on my back you bitch!"

"Piss off, no one forced ye ta bash me head against the table either!"

Sensing that this probably won't go anywhere if things continue like this, I just sigh and silently stare at the sea instead.

Thankfully the galarian also seems to calm down and shows an open palm to me. Clearly asking for something that I have no idea what it is.

Confused, I raise a brow at her and say drily. "I'm not lending you anything, I’m broke remember?"

"Not that ye daftie, didnae ya take pictures? I want ta see them!" She surprises me with a genuine childish glee.

"Huh, I thought you were angry at me for doing something 'stupid' or 'dangerous' like everyone else has been rambling about."

"Pfft! Fock 'em all, I left home because me folks wouldn't let me do what I wanted. I would be a bloody hypocrite if I was angry about that." She says with a scoff of anger, but not at me this time around.

‘Wait, she isn't implying what I think she is right?’

Right?

"Please tell me you didn't leave your parents’ home without warning." I deadpan at her and start to put the pieces together at how crazy this fucking girl really is since everything she told me previously may have been entirely fake.

"What kind of wild pokémon do ya take me for!? Of course I didnae do that!" She says incredulously at me jumping the sharpedo.

Thank Go–

"But I left a note saying I would be in Alola if they ever missed me instead!" Sasha finishes with an unrepentant grin.

*Pfft!* I spew out the entire cookie I was eating.

I try to feel bad for the parents, I really do. But the more I look at her prideful grin for pulling this stunt the more I struggle to not burst laughing out loud and fail miserably.

“What did they even do for you to do that?” I eventually ask after recomposing myself and curiosity wins over my common sense.

The effect of the question turns out to be very obvious by the way how her good mood rapidly declines and she sets her mouth into a straight line.

“…”

Sasha takes a while to gather her thoughts together and visibly deflates on her seat with an exhausted sigh before explaining.

“Let’s just say that me folks wanted me ta follow their career path and I didn’t, I knew they wouldnae take it well me refusin’ and I would have ta part with Grumpy 'n Toxy for another partner if I accepted.”  

“That sounds fucked up, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do I guess.”

“Aye, that’s why I telt them I would spend a few weeks with me granda, took all the allowance I gathered over the years and took the cheapest boat ta Hoenn.”

‘Okay, I’m not touching any of that even with a three meters pole.’

"Uh, you said you wanted to see the pictures and videos I took right? Just give me a second." I awkwardly say as I open my gallery and show them to her in hopes of changing the damn topic.

There was various of them, but the most memorable ones were mostly the gengars being little shits in actively provoking the dusknoirs to get a reaction out of the stoic looking ghosts and the banettes joining soon after.

My favorite one in particular was the video I recorded of what I would describe as utter mayhem. A free for all between all three species of ghosts infuriating an, I swear on my mother, gargantuan elder treevenant who was pissed for us disturbing his slumber.

I didn't even need to look back as I ran away to know that the entire group was running just as fast or if not faster than me as the walking tree started bombarding the whole area with Shadow Balls the size of beach balls in outrage.

Giving the green haired teen a subtle side eye, I relievedly notice that she at least wasn’t as tense as she was during our talk.

‘I’ll take that as a good thing and accept the small mercy.’

__________________

9:53 PM

I'm currently in the northern side outside the city trying to coach Artoria and Nanachi into manipulating their type energies with mild progress.

The goal I had in mind was trying to make use of their instinctual use of Gust and Synthesis for them to learn Wing Attack and Razor Leaf respectively.

Nanachi seemed to successfully imbue her wings with the necessary amount for Gust easily enough, but it's maintaining it in place for long enough to attack that she is struggling with. Meanwhile Artoria is having a harder time converting her grass type energy into projectiles outside her body.

I don't know if we're doing something wrong, maybe she has to do like bayleef do and shake her head to accomplish it. Or maybe it's just a matter of patience and practice that will solve itself given enough time.

Tanya was feeling kind of lazy and didn't want to do anything in particular, but nothing that a few compliments to the other two and purposefully speaking out loud how they are going to get strong in no time couldn't solve the issue.

Now she's the picture of determination, using her Confusion to lift rocks and other objects to train her coordination and lifting power.

This unfortunately leaves me having nothing to do but jog around the perimeter, do a few exercises to improve my stamina and keep an eye out for any wild pokémon that may try ransacking my bag for food.

I’m in the middle of a push up when I feel something appear in front of me and slowly turn to the smirking ghost floating in the air.

Ignoring the fucker, I continue uninterrupted until I finish the 3 sets of 10 and purposefully drink my water in a glacial pace to annoy the visibly confused misdreavus even more.

“Misdrea Mis?” It asks in genuine confusion, resulting on my other three partners to stop what they are doing to glance at us and eventually return back to it when no sign of hostility is shown.

“What? Did you though I would be angry?”

“Vus.”

“Well, I would be lying if I told you that I wasn’t during the morning. But as the hours passed by I had to admit the prank you pulled was good.” I confess with an understanding smile.

I’m not going to give it the satisfaction of making me angry or furious about it, better just move on with my own life than to keep angry at something that’ll probably be forgotten in a month or two.

“…” It stares at me with visible disappointment for not seeing the reaction it expected and grumbles a few ‘Dreavus mis’ under its breath.

I expect it to scram after the disappointment, but it for some reason stays there clearly thinking about something else.

Crossing my arms, I just give it an inquisitive brow before asking “What now then? Are you going to keep trying to prank me? Haunt some desolate house forgotten even by time? Maybe just wander around aimlessly in search of happiness or whatever the hell you desire?”

Misdreavus instantly recoils as if struck by the blunt questions and visibly increases the distance between us.

“Because I’m gonna be honest with you, I’m not going to be here forever and you know this. So make your goddamn mind whether you’ll keep coming around and join us or not.” I bluntly put it for them as I stand up and walk past the frozen ghost to check on the progress of my team.

A few minutes later when I glance back at where the dark bluish-green ghost was I only find an empty spot.

‘Well, there’s my answer I guess.’

Chapter Text

Trainer’s School

8:25 AM

“You need to make sure of using the correct method when caring for your partner. For example: while a growlithe or meowth would simply need a simple brush and have their nails cut when it grows too much, other pokémons such as goomy and shellos in particular would need regular baths at least two times a week so they can keep their bodies healthy and hydrated.” The voice of Professor Oak patiently explaining echoes around my classroom.

‘Needs to be hydrated regularly…’ I note it down on my halfway used notebook and take a moment to stretch my arms as the old professor passionately answers the question of some guy by the front seats of the class.

Turns out that grooming doesn’t just boils down to brushing and making sure your pokémons stays pretty, it also involves how to properly maintain their health and avoid problems that could easily be avoided by a simple cleaning routine.

I certainly didn’t know that I had to use humid wipes and specific oils for bug, steel and rock types. Neither had I known that when raising very young birds like pidgeys, taillows and murkrows they’d need help in preening their wings every now and then.

‘Man, I would love a honchkrow. The mafia boss look they pull is unmatched.’

Although I have to admit that one dog from Paldea is a close second in terms of looking like a crime lord.

“Professor, do you have any advice for how to brush buizels? My cousin in Sinnoh has one and he has been struggling to groom their fur for a month by now...” a meek looking girl with light blue hair squeaks her question from the backmost corner in the room.

‘I should probably stop zoning out before anyone calls me out.’ I snap out of it with a firm shake of my head and stare back at the giant screen plastered on the far wall ahead.

“Of course! Now that you mention it, the buizel line is a very interesting species to talk about because they have happen to have fur despite living in water bodies such as rivers, lakes and waterfalls. This choice of habitat makes their fur denser than other pokémons because it helps them regulate their temperatures in cold waters.

'Huh, now that I think about it... doesn't marill and azumarill also do the same thing?'

“They usually groom it by licking and combing through with their own paws and teeth. So your cousin should pick a thin and long comb when brushing theirs instead of a common brush.” The man finishes with a smile and patiently selects another student to make a question.

“Noibat…” My big furball whines at the boredom she’s currently experiencing at having to stay quiet in my lap during the lecture.

‘It’s already a miracle that she managed to stay awake up to now, but since there’s still three other classes to go I don’t have much hope for the dubious big creature’s patience to hold up.’

“Just a few more hours and we’re out of here, just hang on until then.” I whisper to Nanachi, watching as she visibly slumps down and lays her head on the table face first.

‘I feel ya bud, and it just gets worse from here.’ I comfortingly scratch her ears until I hear a soft snoring start coming from her.

Gotta reward her with a chocolate scoop later, maybe taking a look of the city from that big ass viewing tower could be intere–

“Daww~” Some boy on my right interrupts my plans for the evening and I instantly snap my head up to see half a dozen people plus an amused looking professor watching me zone out while putting my noibat to sleep.

'...Yeah I ain't dealing with this bullshit so early in the morning.'

“What y’all looking at? Do you guys really want me to start making questions again?” I ask in a monotone voice dryer than the desert in route 111.

And just like that every person in the room could be classified as a rock type as their faces looked like they could be carved from stone with how seriously they turned back to the screen.

“No! *Coff* I mean, no need for that young lady.” Oak blurts with an awkward cough. “I was just about to end our lecture in a few minutes anyway...” He quickly amends by scratching his neck nervously.

‘Yeah, that’s what I thought old man.’ I quietly cackle in triumph as he gives his remaining material for later study and shuts down the connection.

Apparently no one wants a repeat of what happened when I asked why delcatty and wailord were in the same egg group. And more importantly, how the hell did it happen.

All I'll say about the topic is that professor Oak was not a happy man that day and leave it at that.

______________

2:30 PM

I honestly don’t know what I was expecting when I took Occultism for my spare slot since it’s a single time per week and I only have two available unless I sign up. I could have taken pokémon battle, pokémon racing and even pokémon contes– Nope, not in a fucking million years that one, but the idea is clear.

When I opened the dark blue door with its painting already peeling off in the most bum fuck nowhere corner of the entire institution I certainly wasn't prepared to see a room as dark as my eyes could see with a single candle lit on top of a wooden table.

Now, I know those are the most horror movie tropes to ever exist and only idiots would actually enter a room like that despite knowing the door would close by itself.

But I'm not just a casual idiot, I'm a competitive idiot and promptly walk into the room giving zero fucks to the sound of the door slamming behind me soon after.

"Nice set up you guys pulled, but if it's only that I'll unfortunately have to rate it a measly 6/10" I state unimpressed at the flickering shadows that momentarily pause for a second.

'Thought you were slick huh?' I smirk at the way it stiffly starts moving again, acting as if nothing changed.

A dark figure with a hood concealing their features approaches the lone candle at the table and smiles mischievously before blowing it out.

"Like, I get the initiation process is important for any newbie and shit. But aren't you guys kind of wasting the time we could have been learning whatever they teach here by now though?" I boredly state as I ignore the lack of vision and take advantage of Nanachi echolocation to cheat.

Poking her awake, I whisper for her to locate the other people in the room.

*Squeak!* She sleepily squeaks and points at 7 'o clock with her wing.

Soon after I start following her directions and have to play a game of cat and mouse as the figure now hurriedly tries to avoid us with a bit of panic and Nanachi tracks them with ease.

At some point Nanachi started pointing to another spot in the room, probably another student who was waiting to join in the 'scare the newbie' thing and wisely aborted their plans as I began chasing relentlessly their friend.

*Click!* all light bulbs in the room instantly lit up  and I'm momentarily blinded by them.

"You're infuriating! Why can't we get anyone who is actually scared?!" A shrill voice cries in anger, reminding me of a certain useless water goddess.

'You picked someone who watched almost all classic horror movies over his life, you literally hadn't a chance from the very start.' I think amusedly as I blink the spots in my vision away and see that I was chasing a pink haired girl that is now pouting very hard in my general direction.

"Give it up Sam, you know very well that any 'normal' person wouldn't even bother joining us at this point." A tired looking guy with light red hair flatly states from nearby a switch right beside the door I came in.

'Same color as the walls eh? They really went out of their way to conceal it.'

"So, can anyone tell me why the is closet shaking violently or am I supposed to ignore that?" I ask amusedly while giving the best scratches I can to Nanachi for being a wonderful living detector.

"Get me out of here Max! you bast–" "Nothing to worry about with, it's just windy in here that's all." The now named Max purposefully cuts off whoever the fuck is now incoherently screaming in outrage inside the very much locked closet.

'Not my circus, not my monkeys.’ 

"Any estimate for when the teacher will get here or...?" I hesitantly ask since it's been a good while and no one showed up yet.

"Oh, we don't have any. It's mostly just us in here screwing around with nothing else to do."

What. 

"Hey! Don't call summoning spirits screwing around!"

"Did we ever actually accomplish it?"

"..."

"Do you have any idea of what we're doing or are we just throwing random shit at the wall until it sticks?"

"..."

"Yeah, that's what I thought. Screwing around it is." He sagely nods to himself.

All the while the seething coming from the wooden closet only increases in volume.

"Well, I got some books about paranormal stuff with me. Want to read them despite knowing it probably won't work anyway?"

"Heck yeah!"

"Sure, I never refuse a good reading."

"Let me out of here you assholes!"

'At least this will be more fun than listening the professor charged with teaching T. E. Theory drone out his lessons and put me to sleep in ten minutes flat.' I amusedly laugh as I take a seat by the table at the center and continue to ignore the pissed off girl screaming bloody murder on the background.

______________

3:35 PM

"By the way, what trick did you guys use to move the shadows like tentacles?" I ask curiously from my chair.

Instead of anyone answering me, the room gets considerably colder out of nowhere and a froslass appears from thin air.

'Hmm, so that's why the room was cool despite not having any air-conditioning.'

The icy ghost simply beams a few lights on my face and I have to balance myself as the room shifts into a twisted mess of shapes and colors.

The lights bulbs on the ceiling start flickering before giving out entirely with the exception of a single one above me, then I notice the shadows around me teasingly move in my direction without actually touching me.

"Confuse Ray? Now that's some bullshit if I ever saw one." I mutter in awe at how much time she must’ve spent perfectioning this move.

And just like nothing happened, the entire room turns back to its normal saturated purplish color scheme. Making me feel a mean headache forming from the sheer whiplash during the process.

"If she could have done that from the beginning, why the hell didn't you guys do it?" I ask perplexedly to the embarrassed girl and the still reading boy.

"I didn't think about it...?"

"You never do dumbass, I just didn't point out because I don't really care that much if it wasn't obvious until now."

"I'll tell mom you called me dumbass you jerk!"

'Siblings?'

"Do you want me to tell dad about how a certain someone I know spent all night reading sm–" a hand quickly covers his mouth and the other desperately tries to choke him out of life.

"Yeah, there's no fucking doubt that they are siblings." I deadpan while collecting my shit and getting the hell out of here for today.

______________

7:50 PM

The view from up here is incredible, the way how the entire bay is lighten up by the moon and the streets in the distance are like a lightshow for the eyes.

My team is currently plastered at the windows of the tower to gaze at it all, much to my and a bunch of people around amusements.

Nanachi is constantly looking at different things and seems particularly fixated at staring at a party going on the other side of the city.

Tanya simply stares down at the people below with a look of superiority in her lone eye, probably imagining herself on top of the world or something like that.

Artoria, unlike the other two, is too busy eating a tasty corn dog I got for her a few minutes before we came in. She seems to simply not give a fuck to the splendor ahead in order to focus on her meal.

'At least she got her priorities straight.' 

She finally managed to make her grass type energy manifest as small leafs around herself that disappear a few centimeters after being thrown.

It's not battle ready yet, but it’s okay since it only took a few days training to do it. We can perfect it at our own pace if needed.

Nanachi on the other hand is having difficulty in striking with her wings and still keep flying at the same time.

Watching her hit a small log I found and set up as a makeshift dummy and crash into the floor like a cartoon character did made me wheeze tough.

This past week Tanya had asked me through a very long game of charades for us to go back into Petalburg Woods for some reason that I had no fucking clue.

Then after spending 30 minutes walking back to the now bright forest, I had to wonder what the hell we are even doing there seemingly walking without a clear objective.

Only when she spotted a shroomish did she urge me to approach it and started chatting with it for a few minutes, whatever they talked about was entirely out my understanding as it run away into the deeper parts of the woods and Tanya kept smacking me to wait in place.

Fifteen minutes later comes a wary looking breloom that kept itself between us and the shroomish. Possibly the parent of the smaller grass type if I was guessing correctly.

At that point I had already given up in coming up with a reason to be there and distractedly watched Nanachi flying around in search of some snacks around the tree branches as the breloom and Tanya bickered about something and made a deal of some kind.

I would reprimand her for giving my stuff away in literally any other circumstance, but apparently she was bribing the bigger pokémon with honeyed biscuits into teaching her a new move.

Just imagine my surprise as it joyfully took the bag of sweets Tanya stole from my backpack and began to slowly strike the air with crackling electricity sparking on its fists.

I think it’s unnecessary to say how I had to come back day in and day out for four days straight with a brand new package of sweets until my fairy learned the basics of what seems to be Thunder Punch.

Sure, for now it’s just a few sparks that fizzle out as soon as they appear and is very tiresome to do. But at least we don’t need to go back there since now it’s all on how much she practices it from now on for the move to develop.

‘Wait, why are they going to the elevator?’ I instantly stop my thought process as I realize the trouble trio sneakily ditched me off in order to explore the rest of the place.

“Come back here you little shits!” I shout at the now hurriedly running, crawling and flying bastards.

It takes me 14 seconds to recall Artoria for not being particularly fast, 2 minutes for Tanya who kept going over or under several tables, chairs and people as if she was doing a parkour challenge to avoid the pokéball’s beam, and then there was Nanachi who zoomed all over the place and avoided me every time I tried to grab her.

Only when she runs out of gas that I finally manage to catch the slippery noibat with a firm grip that won’t release any time soon, no matter how much she snickers at having fun being chased around like a headless chicken.

…

“Want to do it again outside?”

“Bat!”

“Alright, just wait until we reach the outskirts and we can play a game of tag there for your heart’s content.”

The following cheer that comes from her makes me seriously wonder if I’m going to develop tinnitus before I even reach my twenties again.

Chapter Text

Golem's Bowling Alley

3:30 PM

“Lilah, you're a fuckin' moron.” My only friend flatly states from where she stands a few meters away preparing her shot at the targets.

And the worst part is that I can't really disagree with her on this one.

It all started when the galarian was bored out of her mind and wanted to do something fun, so she had the idea of inviting me to go bowling and I immediately told her that I couldn't afford it because I'm a step away from becoming a hobo at this point.

Not deterred by my broke ass, she just says that she will pay for our entrance fees and I can't really deny her wish since I literally don't have anything else to do for the rest of the day besides fucking around the city or nearby wilderness.

Apparently I got a restraint order that stops me from going too deep inside the forest by the local Jenny, who is ordered to go retrieve me for some fucking reason. I even asked why the hell I wasn’t allowed to go visit my acquaintances and got flat out refused on the spot for ‘being too stupid for my own good’.

I had even planned for having a Friday Night party and got cockblocked from having the disco dance competition of my life that day.

‘Can’t have shit in Hoenn man.’ I groan at the memory and wince at seeing Sasha’s ball going wide, missing 60% of the pins ahead.

Then somewhere between me absolutely destroying the girl's ego without any kind of remorse over a friendly game and taking turns every now and then to drink soda on a nearby table we took for ourselves and play. She suddenly asked me if I was having too much difficulty with the requests I took and needed help.

I, not knowing what kind of parasect's shroom she smoked, asked what the hell she was talking about with the most bewildered look I could come up with.

The look of ‘Does she know?’ and ‘She doesn't know!?’ flashing on her face in a matter of seconds was enough to make me wary of what she could possibly be talking about.

But it looks like I was just being too paranoid and she amusedly explained as if I was a toddler that anyone could put up requests on the Pokémon Center's forums and trainers could take them to make money depending on how hard the request is.

*Bang!*

“Wy iid o un tell ee is efoore!?” I scream with my face down at the well-polished table, ignoring Nanachi comfortingly patting my legs from the seat she took in the padded cushions of the couch we are.  

‘I could be earning some dough all this time and just now that I discover this shit!?’

With a newfound energy of spitefulness, I set my drink aside and look straight in the eyes of the still wheezing teen, currently struggling to hold her new bowling ball in place lest it cracks the wooden floor.

"Você tá fudida, prepare thyself dipshit!" I shout angrily as I spring from my seat and powerwalk in her direction.

“W-Wait! Hahahaha! A-Ah can’t breathe!” The asshole laughing her ass off at me wheezes as I forcefully drag her by the collar of the sweater to the nearest lane available.

______________

4:20 PM

Nurse Jolyne Joy

In front of Jolyne there's the girl that her older sister working on the night shift had the pleasure of warning her, through numerous complaints and incoherent noises of anger, that she was going to lose her mind if she had to deal with another incident in the middle of her shift because of this purple haired menace and her… friend? Enemy? Jolyne isn't too sure since every time she has seen those two together it was to separate them from beating each other to a pulp.

The noibat carefully balancing itself on top of her hat with both wings outstretched so it won't fall off is mildly amusing if nothing else. Which is a wild contrast from what has been repeatedly told to her by her cousin in Petalburg to not feed the big flying type any kind of berries or fruits that are too sweet.

The same day the noibat was to be given for a weekly checkup, her curiosity got the better of her and she had to spend the next 10 minutes chasing a cyan-green blur flying across the medical wing of the building with no signs of tiring any time soon.

‘Only until Chansey had enough at least.’ Nothing that a bit of Gravity couldn't solve to pin the hyperactive flying type down.

Regardless, it's not the problems these two trainers and their pokémons often cause that is setting her alarms off, but a small misdreavus carefully watching from the shadows above. Looking as indecisive with something on their mind as the teen in front of her was from how carefully she was scanning through a multitude of requests applied to the Center’s data work.

‘I don't remember seeing that one registered on her team…’ Jolyne trails off and tries to ignore the feeling of being watched in order to focus on the unaware girl in front of her.

“Milkman? Nah, my milk certainly isn't delicious and nor do I have a special delivery today for it to work.”

'What?'

“Maybe a sea fisher? …no, I don't want to risk invoking Ahab’s spirit on my ass because I happened to catch a glimpse of Lugia and risk capsizing the ship in a mad hunt.”

Jolyne's brain crashes as she repeatedly fails to reason whose's spirit would be delusional or psychotic enough to actively hunt a Legendary whose power can bring ruin to entire regions.

“Oh! I may not be named Six, buuut…” The absolutely deranged trainer murmurs with a small smile growing on her face. “I would like to accept the delivery one please!” She finishes with an eager voice.

With a sigh, Jolyne tiredly rubs the bridge of her nose and tries to forget the entire topic for the good of her mental health. Already getting a feeling of what exactly her sister must’ve to deal with regularly. 

Taking a few papers for the teen to sign and showing where she could find the packages to deliver inside the building, Jolyne finally lets herself relax a bit as she watches the manic looking girl vanish from her desk with a burst of speed to the deposit.

‘That's one problem down, what about the other?’ She wonders, quickly glancing at the spot where the ghost type was and sees nothing but an empty spot on the ceiling.

Huh, weird…

______________

7:50 PM

Lilah

Jogging through the streets of Rustboro up and down made me face something that I've been doing my best to ignore until now. It’s the fact that the extra weight I certainly didn't have before are a pain in the ass to have when you’re running for long periods of time, since the little extra energy you spend carrying these around ends up accumulating without you noticing and by the 15 minutes benchmark you’re already dead on your feet.

Never expected to be experiencing first handedly a ‘’Suffering from Success’’ syndrome in my entire life, but here we are I guess.

‘I don't know why, but I already know as a matter of fact that a certain galarian will become an insufferable bastard if I ever complain outloud about it in her vicinity.’ I huff in exhaustion as I give the forms for the old woman patiently waiting on the doorstep of her building to sign and confirm the delivery.

“N-Noibat…” Nanachi pants as she catches up to me and plops down on the cool grass right outside the apartment.

‘Ha! at least I’m not the only one suffering from this.’

Seeing as she was too occupied doing literally nothing else as I ran across the city, I immediately told her to get those wings moving and to follow me for some extra training.

She managed to stay ahead of me in the first 10 minutes, but it only really dawned on her that we still had six more packages to deliver and her wings were already tiring by the fifth.

Normally I would be joining her on the floor, but the fact that I'm receiving 525¥ per package is enough reason to make me keep going even if I was sent into an active warzone.

“Here deary, have a good evening!” The old hag cheers as she carries the small box with a pep in her steps.

‘I wonder what it was for her to be so excited.’ It's kind of a shame that we’re only allowed to know the address and the buyer but not the product.

Wait, now that I think about it it's better not know. It would be very fucking awkward on both parties to deliver something like lingerie to a grown ass man.

With a shake of my head at the unpleasant thoughts, I swiftly ignore what could've been and poke the tired noibat to get up.

“C’mon, just a few more and we're in the clear!” I try to cheer the groaning Nanachi and can't help but let slip a bit of tiredness on my voice.

“Nooooi…” She refuses to get up and stays limp every time I try to pull her up.

I don't think she will be able to stay on my neck like she usually does, maybe it's time for me to try that?

“Well, since you’re so tired then I don't think you’ll object to resting on your pokéball right? You can sleep as much as you want there.” I hesitantly propose, trying to sound as gentle as I possibly can.

“Bat!” She tiredly shrieks in panic, now wide alert and shaking her head vehemently.

“Look, I’m not saying that I’ll let you stuck in there. While you slept through class, I've learned that I can make the upper part of the ball become transparent and you’ll be able to warn me immediately if you want to be let out.” I calmly explain to her with a few pats to the head, picking Artoria’s ball and holding the button for 5 seconds in front of her.

Like paint being removed from a glass surface by water, soon enough the sphere shows a mini sewaddle currently eating two apples.

“Your greed sickens me, you do not need two apples.” I state with faux disgust at the unbothered bug.

Nanachi on the other hand seems fascinated by how it looks from outside and at the same time pissed off that someone else got extra snacks instead of her.

Tapping the see through plastic, the distracted bug momentarily glances up at us and proudly shows us her juicy spoils of war.

“See? Just need to give me a sign and I'll release you on the spot.” I tell her with a smile, deactivating the viewing mode and placing it back on my pocket.

‘I really should buy a magnetic belt when I can afford it, surely it can't be that expensive if everyone and their mother got one.’

“Noi.” Nanachi reluctantly says with a small nod.

Picking her duskball from my backpack, I first activate the viewing mode and ask one last time if she’s sure of this. When I receive another nod I gently bonk her on the forehead and watch as she vanishes and materializes inside the sphere.

For a moment she quickly panics at the small space, but seeing me watching from outside seems to visibly calm her down just enough so she won't have another panic attack.

‘Could’ve been worse I guess…’

Lazily waving to her, I lift her ball to eye level and watch as she waves back with a little trepidation. Clearly stressed at staying in the confined space but slowly relaxing the more she realizes that I’m still around.

“Just breathe, if you need anything just give me a sign okay?” I ask one last time and wait for her to nod back before reading the next address one more time.

‘An electronics store by the shopping center, so not too far from here fortunately.’ I sigh in relief, awkardly lifting Nanachi's ball with my right hand so I can keep an eye out for her while I finish the rest of the job.

“Let’s go girl, It’s show time!” I try to sound cheerful despite already knowing how much I’ll hate myself by tomorrow morning when I wake up wanting to strangle my current self.

…

‘You know what? I think a single missed day won’t be a problem.’

Better go the day after well rested and try to get the notes I’ve missed than going there just to pass out from exhaustion the moment I hear Prof. Elm rant about how interesting Bruxish mating habits are.

______________

10:20 PM

“On an unrelated topic, what’s your favorite pokémon?” I ask as I leave the bathroom with a large towel around me, having already put my noibat to sleep on the upper bed a while ago.

“Definitely Pangoro, the auld yin me granda has would always batter the shite out of wild gyarados when we went fishin’ on his boat and looked none the worse fur wear after.” Sasha to her credit doesn’t even bat an eye at me before answering with a few grappling moves as demonstration.

“Really? Must’ve been a beast in its prime for it to be so strong to this day…” I whistle in surprise, wondering what the fuck her grandfather fed his pokémon to be able to fistfight a sea serpent in its home turf and still come up on top by the end of it.

“Aye, heard that he could give uncle Mustard’s Urshifu a really good fight in his time. Nowadays they only spar twice a year so they don’t get too rusty ‘round the edges.”

‘Isn’t Mustard the master of a dojo or something like that? I vaguely remember someone saying he was from a DLC location whose name I can't be bothered enough to memorize.'

"Whit about ye?"

“I don't have a favorite in specific, I just have those three in particular that I like way more than any others if it makes sense." I lamely say with a shrug, knowing that if I were to say Lunala or Necrozma it would be a pain in the ass to explain what they are and why the hell I even know about them in the first place.

With a roll of her eyes, Sasha just motions me to continue with her arm.

"The first one is Mimikyu, a ghost type that longs for affection so much that it covers itself in a poor quality Pikachu disguise so others can also love them."

"That sounds cute and depressin', wee lad doesn't seem that bad compared to other ghosts I've heard of..."

"Don't misunderstand me though, it may look cute and adorable, but you have to constantly act like it is a pikachu or else it will freak the fuck out and attack anyone stupid enough to break its act. And that's without taking into account that looking under its disguise can and probably will kill you from a heart attack." 

...

"Creepy and depressin' got it." She weakly whispers after a while, visibly paler than before at the prospect of dying by merely glancing at it.

"I still would love to have one of these, so if you see one of those please point it my way if you can."

'Just because it's dangerous doesn't mean it shouldn't be loved, everyone loves scyther and you don't see these fuckers in Kanto stop catching them because of the danger they pose.'

"Anyway, second on the list is goodra because it is the best dragon type and everyone who says it isn't is fucking wrong."

"Uh? I thought yers would be... noivern by how much ya like ta pamper yer noibat." She asks incredulously, taking a moment to search for the evolution and show me the dex entry.

It just contains a 3D model and a few basic trivia, but nothing too deep about the species in specific that I already didn't know about.

"Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade Nanachi even if you offered me Cynthia's own Garchomp egg. But you can't possibly tell me that goomy isn’t the cutest dragon type to ever exist."

"Ye have ta be kiddin' me, there's no way it could be cuter than Dree–"

I cut her off by snatching the device out of her fingers and typing for goomy's entry before shoving it on her annoyed face.

...

"Y'know what, fair enough." She speaks after a while, looking intently at the hypnotizing way how the 3D goomy jiggles in place.

'I knew you would see the path to enlightenment young padawan.' I smirk victoriously and finish putting my sleeping dress on for the night.

Say what you will about the gothic look, but these sweaters are comfy as hell to sleep in.

"And at last but not least is tinkaton, the unadulterated energy of mischievousness it emanates always puts a smile on my face.” I finish my short list with a grunt as I climb to the upper bed, ignoring how Grumpy who was seemingly ‘sleeping’ on the chair visibly shivers at the mention of the fairy/steel type pokémon.

“And that has absolutely naw reason whatsoever ta me havin’ a rookidee I’m guessin’?” Sasha’s stare at the back of my head could evaporate a lake with how fucking dry her tone is.

‘Funnily enough, no it doesn’t.’

“Fortunately for you, I’m planning on getting an aron by Dewford, so I literally have no reason to go out my way and search for one when I already have one steel type on my team. Unless I wanted to give you a ‘fuck you in particular’ gift out of spite, but I’m sure you won’t give me enough reason to pull some shit like that right?” I ask with a cheerful look, watching as she puts down the pillow she was about to throw at me for choosing her starter’s natural predator as a favorite of mine.

With an sigh of relief at not having to deal with a future pinky menace that might end up traumatizing her bird for life, Sasha goes to the switch and turns off the lights before going to bed.

‘Finally, inner peace has been achieved…’ I relax on the soft mattress, enjoying how the cool air of the room soothes my aching legs.

…

“Lilah.”

“Hmm?”

“Can ye please tell yer friend to stop staring from the windae? I can’t sleep with its eyes glowing like that.”

Turning to look at the culprit, I stare tiredly at the misdreavus currently stalking us from outside with its eyes shining an ‘ominous’ dim light inside the room.

‘Fuck it, I’m not dealing with this right now.’

Dropping silently from my bed with a few grumbles, I walk over the ghost and wait for it to do something besides looking unsure.

When it doesn’t do anything besides avoinding my eyes in anxiousness, I tiredly pick a spare pokéball from my bag, place it on the table against the wall where the window is and close the shutters so it doesn’t light up half of the room with their bright red eyes.

‘If it wants to enter there’s nothing I can do to stop it, but I may as well close the damn shutters and get some fucking sleep if it doesn’t.’ I groan in annoyance at having to climb up on my bed again while my legs are about to give out on me if I have to do it one more time.

I don’t know if it was Cresselia fucking with me, but I’m pretty sure I heard the sound of a pokéball sucking something in by the time I blacked out with a very warm noibat firmly stuck between my arms.

Chapter Text

Artoria

Artoria is a simple bug, she sees food, she eats food. If she spots anything even similar to silk then it's her duty to sew it into the most beautiful adornment she can imagine at the moment.

Anything else that her human says on the contrary are lies and slanders meant to cast her masterwork in a dark light. The human wouldn't know what true beauty is even if it smacked her in the face and that's unacceptable.

Therefore, it became her duty to enlighten the fool on the error of her ways.

At first she tried by demonstrating with the closest material available to her, the human's rags.

Night by night she would silently crawl to the sleeping human and nibble at them, making sure to take only small portions so she could be undetected just long enough to craft something gorgeous and warm.

Unfortunately it didn't take long for the human to realize what was happening and one of those nights she set an ambush that caught Artoria wholly unprepared.

The sight of seeing her sweet snacks shared and distributed for the other members while she was bound to her human’s arms and forced to watch helplessly as they slowly ate it all was hurt worse than any bodily harm she ever could receive from sparring with the others.

From that day forward she learned her lesson, the rags still stuck the human were off limits, she would need to get her materials somewhere else.

The new strands she tried to acquire after the torture were the spare rags she saw being retrieved from the magical artifact. She took advantage of the Prideful One's boldness in openly stealing food from it to make her move while it was wide open to enter it.

It took an iron will to ignore the delicious looking fruits stored in a see-through material, but as she knew time was of essence, her craft was a priority and no ripened temptations were going to dissuade her from the main goal.

To her dismay, all of the rags were equally bland in color. Wonderful silks wasted on mournful tones and simple designs like the ones she saw at that moment was enough to make her body shake in rage.

It wouldn't do, she realized, no matter how much work she puts into adding livelier colors, no amount of leaves would ever suffice to fix all those aberrations.

The only option available to her was starting from scratch with the available foliage, but what kind of self respecting sewaddle would she be if it was only that? Where is the emotion? The passion?! 

She could try taking samples from the other human sharing their living space, but she certainly didn't want to gamble the risk of the Quiet One catching her in the act and snitch the robbery.

…

No, she shall bide her time, collecting her materials from unsuspecting humans sparingly is the only option left to her.

Humans may be odd, squishy and mostly boring most of the time. But they at least had two redeeming qualities to overcome it all: delicious foods and an overwhelming amount of colors at their disposal that would put any Beautifly to shame.

It may take full moon by full moon, but by her previous colony's honor she will accomplish her holy task even if her fruity prizes are revoked!

“Color for the Color God! Silks for the Silk Throne!” She bellows to the skies with holy fervor before getting smacked by an annoyed Tanya who was trying to sleep nearby.

The feeling of something ancient amusedly responding to her warcry in the recess of her mind simply strengthens her faith at the task ahead.

______________

Merlin

The newly named Merlin honestly wasn't sure of what to expect when he decided to join this madhouse under the guise of a team yesterday.

…

Okay, he knows that's a lie. He had plenty of time to observe these psychopaths training for several nights and see that not a single one of them was right in the head.

The fae would probably kill him with a smile on her face if he could actually die to begin with.

The bug has some kind of obsession with the human’s clothes and keeps muttering ‘heresy’ every now and then for no apparent reason.

And the flying menace keeps trying to pull him into so much small talk that he’d rather accept getting murdered by the fae instead.

‘Maybe it's the human currently oozing so much distortion around her that it may as well be twisting everyone’s personality in her vicinity?’ He wonders for a brief moment, watching his trainer get ganged up by the rest of the team as a ‘’fun’’ game that covers both aiming and dodging exercises at the same time.

“Some day love will find you!”

The bug keeps trying to slow her down with string shots and only manages to miss most of them before getting caught by surprise when a water projectile impacts her in the face.

“Break those chains that bind you!”

The usually upbeat flying type now is fully concentrated in trying to hit her target with either of her wings and falling miserably given that she gets grabbed mid attack and thrown away by the limber human.

“One night I'll remind you~”

The fairy keeps trying to cave the human’s legs in with her attacks and gets punted into the distance with an outraged yelp for getting too cocky.

“If he ever hurt you!”

A quick roll to the left makes the noibat who tried getting a sneak attack fly right past her and crash straight into a tree.

‘Ouch, that had to hurt…’ He cringes as the dazed pokémon falls face first on the floor and slowly tries to stand up again.

“True love won't desert you!”

A perfectly aimed string shot gets shut down by a handful of dirt thrown into the now sputtering sewaddle's face.

It's impressive how the human pushed the entire group so far that he actually had to rely on his invisibility to catch her off guard so he wasn't bombarded by water balls like the other three were.

“You know I still lo–”

‘Such as right… Now!’ He smirks in triumph, popping right beside the distracted trainer and finally managing to freeze her in place with a well timed Mean Look.

“Arrombado!” She curses before falling into the humid grass with a strangled scream.

*Thud!*

And now she's glaring at him with a look that could set him on fire for making her trip on her feet.

Joke’s on her, the frustration and annoyance just makes the distortion coming out of her even more tasty to eat.

By the time she got up again the four of them had already closed in, each of one about to discount their pent up anger at the unapologetic human.

Even the flying type was displaying a menacing smile for getting thrown around like a toy each time she was grabbed out of the air.

At the start Merlin may not have been sure of his choice in joining them, but having a free buffet that isn't afraid of pranking him back and three more targets that are just as fun to mess with certainly solidified his decision.

“Do it again motherfucker, I dare you! I double dar– Oof!” She freezes once again mid taunt at his sudden Mean Look, before getting thrown into the ground by the sparking punch of an angry looking ralts to the stomach.

…

And because watching his other three pissed off teammates beat up their trainer is way too hilarious to pass up at this point.

______________

09:23 AM

Lilah

“Well, at least their aim did get better in the end. It's just a shame that not a single one of these dipshits was thinking clearly to notice the improvement.” I idly comment with a hiss as an ice sack is pressed against my cheek.

Apparently coming up to class battered up and with a swollen face is not ‘appropriate’ nor is it ‘safe’ for me to do so when I should be resting, so they sent me to the local infirmary to get treated.

That's what I get for beelining straight to my room while Joy was distracted with a trainer in the lobby and trying to avoid getting scolded from the pink haired woman.

“Chan.” The rotund nurse pats my back in a mock comforting manner.

‘Don't give me that condescending look Ms. Eggman Wannabe, If it looks stupid and it works then it ain't stupid.’

“If I had a poké for every person I know that trains their pokémon through personal combat, I'd have three poké. Which isn't much, but it's concerning how often I get to meet them on a regular basis.” The exasperated voice of a woman in her early twenties echoes from the entrance.

Not missing my opportunity, I slowly swirl the stool in her direction like your average Bond villain and ignore the grumbling chansey.

I would also be petting my plus sized noibat, but she’s too busy leaning against me and sleeping her tiredness away.

Aaand because I kind of learned the hard way that poking a dreaming Nanachi while we’re hugged is a very bad idea. When she took a bite out of my left boob while probably mistaking it with a fruit in her dream was… unfortunate to say the least.

Because I previously never thought I'd successfully pull a Tom Scream in my life, but I can affirm that my impersonation of the character at that moment was flawless and worthy of an Oscar.

“Let me guess, the other two are Brawly and Norman?” I query Roxanne with an utterly unnecessary gruff voice after a few moments staring at her dramatically.

It would be somewhat menacing… if I hadn't hit my legs against the table with a loud thud and had to awkwardly adjust myself while holding a wince at the sharp pain.

The raised eyebrow and shaking of her head at my stupid theatrics is very effective against my pride, but that's on me for not having practiced the stunt beforehand.

“Close, it was Brawly and Drake. It's amazing how brilliant both of them are as trainers, but that musclehead somehow only thinks about that damn surfboard of his and the waves when I'm right there…” She corrects me with a grumble.

‘Drake eh? I could see the old timer beating the hell out of any dragon type that got too rowdy to deal with when words weren't enough.’ I nod in respect to the guy and pointedly ignore the local Gym Leader going on a tangent about her ‘Totally-Not-Boyfriend friend’ being as dense as a Steelix. 

Specializing in dragon types may as well be worse to deal with than picking poison types with how temperamental they tend to be on a daily basis from what I've heard. The stories of how a badly trained Bagon can cause havoc if their egos are left unchecked by the time they become a Salamance are there for a reason after all.

“Baat~” My emotional support pokémon sleepily purrs in bliss under the mighty power of headpats.

‘She's drooling on my shirt again, that's going to be the seventh wash on the sink this week and it's still thursday.’ I groan internally at having to clean it once again before I go to sleep.

Never mind the temperamental shtick I just said, headpats and food are obviously the superior weapons when dealing with highly volatile pokémon.

‘If I shouldn't hug the hell out of a Hydreigon, then why friend shaped?’

“...ello? Are you really okay?” Roxanne waves in front of my eyes, voice laced with concern at probably watching me zone the hell out of whatever she was talking about that involved flow, tides and waves.

Shaking my head, I snap back to reality and answer that I’m peachy.

“If you say so… Oh! I just remembered that Professor Elm told me to ask if you were amiable to let him take a few tests of your pokémon this next monday, I think it's something to do with her unusual coloration by what he kept mentioning over the call.” She calmly explains while taking a seat on another stool nearby and serving some coffee over the wooden table between us.

Figures, who would've thought that the professor specialized in breeding would be interested by the recessive genes?

“It's fine… I guess? As long as she feels comfortable with it I don't see any problem with a few tests.” I lazily mumble to the smiling Gym Leader, refusing the cup offered in my direction and picking up the grape juice box instead.

I'm honestly more surprised that it was her ‘’shiny’’ status that drew his attention instead of the glaringly obvious size difference she has from the usual members of her species.

I even noticed that she had grown a little bit these days and now I'm seriously considering whether or not I should shove her in my backpack and do the first Banjo Kazooie cosplay to ever exist in this universe just so she doesn't need to constantly fly after me through the city.

“One last thing I wanted to ask you before I leave. During the exercises I was reviewing this tuesday, there was something about yours that left me a little confused.” Roxanne confusedly elaborates, pulling a sheet of paper where I had to answer correctly the dietary needs of rock types and what minerals in particular were their favorite.

‘What? Everything looks just fine though?’ I frown as I grasp the sheet and fail to find anything wrong with it.

Everything is written in english, or unovan if you're feeling fancy. I obviously didn't use my own language because they wouldn't understand jackshit about that with how not a single one of them reprimanded me by my colorful language everytime I hit my shins against the desk by accident.

Is my calligraphy shit? Yep. Doctor levels of chicken scratch? Yes it is, but I made sure to make it extra readable so I could avoid this exact scenario.

“I don't see anything wrong with it though? I know my unovan isn't particularly good but I'm pretty sure this is perfectly readable.”

“it's not whether they are wrong or not, I'm curious on why the need to use unovan at all. The questions are written in kantonian, why would you even write it like that if you can read it this easily?”

What the hell is she snorting? They are clearly written in english.

“But the questions are in unovan, if it wasn't then I wouldn't be able to answer any question you wrote on it because that's the only language I bothered learning besides my own.”

…

“Just give me a moment please, I’ll write some things for you and I want you to answer them for me.” Roxanne mutters hesitantly as she quickly turns the sheet, writes down three or so questions on its blank side and gives me a pen to answer with.

1) What's pink and likes to sing? 

Pikachu Jigglypuff

2) What flying type pokémon has three heads?

Pikachu Dodrio

3) Which pokémon is always with her baby at her side?

Pikachu Kangaskhan

4) What's small, cute and electrifying?

Elekid Emolga

“Here ya go. Just don’t mind the scratched out pikachus, it's a stupid joke I remembered.” I amusedly comment while passing the paper, taking a moment to drink my juice box as Roxanne confusedly stares at the sheet.

After a few seconds making sure everything is correct and pointedly ignoring my explanation, she looks me straight in the eye with a disbelieving look.

“Each of these were written in kalosian, paldean and old sinnoh respectively. If you only knew unovan you wouldn’t be able to answer any of these correctly.”

Ah, so that's why I hadn't seen anything written with unowns anywhere I've gone. Some fucker probably messed up with my brain to translate all this shit and now I can't even differentiate what laguage is what.

'Where is the nearest Psychonauts QG? Surely they can solve this.' Oh wait, wrong franchise.

Shit.

“Did you by any chance meet any powerful psychics before?” She questions me with a frown, trying to figure out anything that could’ve caused this.

"Besides meeting a friendly Gardevoir who probably needed a week straight of sleep somewhere deep inside Route 102? No, I didn't.” I distractedly answer the question as my thought process derails entirely at trying to come up with someone around here who could un-fuck my mind.

'Hold up, if they try to fix whatever is doing it and discover all the parallel universe thing in the process I'm screwed ain't I? Fuck my life man...'

Looks like my plan to challenge her gym next thursday just got moved to tuesday, I'm skipping town the same day and screw the classes remaining.

“Never mind then, just make sure to avoid mentioning it to anyone working on museums or else they might try to rope you into translating old scripts. Although I do have to ask why did you leave the main route at all, did you at least warn anyone before doing so?”

...Shit, I can’t think of something plausible enough to bullshit my way out of this one, and telling the truth will definitely create a very bad picture out of context.

A trainer wakes up in a isolated place with no previous memory of how they ended up there? That'll definitely raise a few red flags in her mind and create even more questions.

‘Screw it, damned if I do damned if I don't. And knowing my luck she'll know I lied to her face when the story doesn't add up, might as well be honest now than lie and get fucked over when she notice something is off.'

“I dunno, I just woke up there one day and have been dealing with things as they came by.” I honestly reply with a shrug of ‘what can you do?’.

“You… don't know?” She repeats dumbfoundedly.

“Nope, I simply woke up laying inside a tent in the middle of nowhere with a duskball in my hands.”

With a sigh and a hand massaging her temple, Roxanne takes a deep breath before asking. “Did you at least contact your parents or any family member after finding your way to the nearest pokémon center?”

'Lady, I tried that the moment I found my phone and still was in denial.'

“I would if I remembered who they are or where they live. I tried checking if I had any emergency number saved and apparently it's empty, so I'm mostly just winging the hell out at the moment and not thinking about it too much.”

It's not a lie since I literally have no idea if I even have them here and all my phone contacts were expunged from existence.

I even tried having a more in-depth check of my trainer ID on the pokémon center's computer. But it only revealed to me that I'm from somewhere called Malie City in Alola and nothing else that looked relevant at the moment.

A quick search later about the place and I quickly understood why the hell I had a kimo– yukata on my person when I woke up. The entire place was heavily influenced by Johto’s culture and it clearly showed just by looking at the architecture of the city.

Makes me wonder whether the ID is fake or if previous me never touched grass to be this pale despite living on a tropical region.

“Sey…?” The until now quiet healer asks incredulously with a half eaten buttered toast in her mouth from the seat she took on a blue bean bag.

"I... I need to make a few calls to take a look in your situation. You don't have to worry about any missing classes today, I'll make sure to give you what you've missed by tomorrrow." She promises me in a reassuring manner.

Without saying a single more word, Roxanne stands up and stiffly walks to the exit. Quickly making a call on her PokéNav as she leaves the infirmary and gently closing the door behind her.

‘Well, looks like I'm not the only one getting older by the week from sheer stress at least.’ I note with a chuckle as I also stand from my spot and recall the comatose noibat in the process.

She probably won't wake up until a few hours pass by, I’m sure she won't even notice what happened by the time I release her on the Center's bed.

Turning to the still eating chansey, I can't help but feel myself smirking as she narrows her eyes at my sudden movement.

“Since I won't be having any classes for today, I assume that I can leave and laze around the docks for the rest of the day right?” I ask the egg shaped nurse with a grin.

The glare she sends my way to sit the fuck down and rest is dutifully noted and promptly ignored as I bolt in the door's direction.

In a instant, she blocks my path like a sumo veteran and I'm forced to pull out my recently bough secret weapon to defeat my foe.

Instead of keeping wasting money on balloons like a moron, I instead bought a water spray and discovered how lethal it is when used correctly. And by the way how Tanya recoiled from the liquid as if she was a vampire receiving holy water to the face I would say that it was absolutely worth it.

Unholstering the weapon from the side pocket of my bag at an alarming speed, the pink warrior never stood a chance of dodging my attack and visibly sputtered in surprise as she closed her eyes from the foul liquid called sink water.

And that was all I needed for my daring escape, receiving only a few angry slaps on the way out as I barely avoid the rotund nurse's rage and cackle madly while opening the door.

'All in all, It’s good to know that all the trouble I had running around is paying off at least.' I nod satisfiedly to myself, pointedly ignoring the furious chansey waving angrily at me as I weave my way out of the facility.

As a wise man once said: Every day is leg day if you’re constantly running from your problems.

Chapter Text

08:20 AM

“Ye look like you're about to burst a vein with how hard you're glaring at me y'know?” Sasha asks with no small amount of amusement as she sips the strawberry milkshake on the table.

Taking a moment to swallow the spoonful of neapolitan ice cream I just took, I simply glare harder at the smarmy asshole who doesn't know what personal space means and all but dragged me by the foot to the mall.

“I didn't work my ass off all week just so you could drag me out of bed when I was resting on my weekend!” 

“Pfft! Please, if I didnae drag yer arse out of the pokémon center every now and then ye would just be a lazy slakoth who only sleeps and talks shite on the computer all day long.” The bastard waves me off with a dismissive tone as she offers her dessert to Nanachi who is currently sitting right beside her seat.

The traitor abandoned me the moment I said she had enough sugar for today and kept strong on my order when she tried the puppy eyes on me. While the Mosshead decided to take advantage of it and offered hers instead, successfully painting me as the bad guy of the situation and her as the good one.

“Just because you're correct doesn't mean you're right! Besides, if I don’t troll the fuck out of Vice-Chairman Rose who else will? I’m doing what any upstanding citizen should do: annoy the hell out of rich people.” I answer with a smirk at remembering the increasingly upset answers I received from the guy with each commentary I made every time he posted something.

Said posts being redundant statements such as:

‘Most galarians are born on their birthday.’

‘In Galar, your height depends on how tall you are.’

‘Tonight the moon will be visible from Motostoke. The last time this happened was last night.’

‘In Galar it doesn't matter if you are a child, adult or elderly, at the end of the day, it's night.’

‘Statistically, 50% of the galarians are half of all galarians.’

‘Every 60 seconds, a minute passes in Galar.’

‘A photorealistic image of Rose if he existed today.’ followed by a low quality zoomed image of his face.

Now I can proudly say that Deranged_Specialist is officially his number one enemy if the not so subtle threats of lawsuit against me were any indicator.

After a few days doing my civic duty of making his day considerably worse, some user named Ultra_Peony asked why I kept doing that and I had no choice but wholeheartedly reply his question with:

If Rose has a million haters, I'm one of them. If Rose has 5 haters, I’m one of them, If Rose has 1 hater, that one is me. If Rose has no haters, I'm no longer alive. If the world supports Rose, I will fight the entire world. Till my last breath, I’ll hate Rose.

What I didn't expect was said user sending me a friend invite and joining my noble cause of being a pain in the ass of the Vice-Chairman.

So, have I had to do it every single day since I’ve come to Rustboro? No.

Is it petty? Very.

Is it worth it? Absolutely.

Hotel? Triva–

“Y'know what? I don't blame ye, he looks way too perfect during his speeches, somethin’ about that smile always felt off in me opinion.” Sasha cuts off my rant with an understanding nod.

Finishing the dessert, I take a look at my phone to check the hour and signal for her to hurry up before it gets too late.

Seeing the time, she rapidly vacuums the entire milkshake with a single pull of her straw and checks her sweater to confirm that she hasn't lost the tickets.

“Anyway, why are ya so against goin’ out with me? Any time I search for ye ta talk I always have ta look either behind the school, the pokémon center, the forest or below the docks. It's almost like ya go out of yer way tae avoid me.” She questions me with a raised brow as she gets up and leads our way to the cinema.

“Because it is, I already had my quota of social interaction for the whole month and I need to de-stress somehow.”

‘And trying my luck to find the water type I'm looking for so I don't need to waste my time doing it on either Dewford or Slateport.’ I add silently to myself as I stand up and drag the visibly vibrating noibat along with me to our next destination.

“I didnae know that visibly starin’ at single women old enough ta be yer bloody mother was that relaxing, but you do you Ah guess.” She pointedly ignores my reasoning with a teasing tone, the bastard.

“What can I say? The view was pretty, might as well appreciate it. And besides, why do you think I bought shades? Certainly not for eye protection, that I assure you.” I shamelessly admit with a sage nod at my genius.

“That’d seem pretty convincing if the reflection didnae show exactly where ye’re lookin at.” She deadpans.

I can only shrug in response at the hole she's poking at my strategy, I never really expected it to work anyway. But it sure as hell is more polite than openly staring at milfs on the beach when exploring the place.

Speaking of it, I actually took my time to take my team there to enjoy the sea.

Nanachi couldn't actually swim since she had wings for arms, so I built some sand castles with her and she pretended to be a giant monster by destroying it when we finished it.

Artoria disappeared when I wasn't looking, only  coming back half a hour later with what I suspected to be pieces of clothes from somewhere and I was too afraid to ask how she did it at that point.

Merlin on the other hand found it funnier to sneak on unsuspecting swimmers and cause them to dive in fright.

Tanya, surprisingly, actually enjoyed the experience of feeling weightless and kept floating peacefully after I teached her how to do it.

Why she kept laughing evilly here and there for no fucking reason is still a mystery to me though.

I myself had to buy a one piece swimsuit so I wouldn't have to go with the new shorts and t-shirt I bought on friday. Since removing all the salt and sand away would be fucking awful given that it's coarse, rough, irritating and gets everywhere.

The only reason I bought more shit was because having only a single set of clothes that aren't dresses or sweaters to wear on a daily basis apparently wasn't enough according to my galarian friend, so she took it upon herself to make me buy at least a few more.

“Can I just go back to my room and be done with this? I don’t know if you noticed it, but my internal clock is set to the evening and night time. I only wake up early out of obligation to attend the school classes.” I try one more time to convince her to let me go the fuck to sleep. 

But by the way Nanachi is currently experiencing a mild sugar rush at the moment, I’ll have to make her spend the extra energy in the nearest playground on the way back if I ever plan to power nap for more than 20 seconds.

“Really? I’ve thought ye’re just lazy, guess I can't call ya that if you train by night eh? Anyway, ye’re still coming with me tae watch the movie, or would you really deny yer pokémon to see it now that we're already here?” She smugly asks, knowing very well my answer and pointedly ignoring the burning glare I give in return.

“Bat!?” Said pokémon cries in horror at the prospect of missing the movie she was promised. Wrapping her wings around my head and shaking it violently from her seat on my back.

“Ralts ral alts!” Tanya momentarily pops out of my hair where she hid to climb on my shoulder, raising her arm threateningly so I comply with her demands.

I knew letting her watch tv unsupervised was a bad idea, now if she doesn't get her weekly movie session it's to me that she complains with.

“Fuck! Fine, we're going! But I swear that if you three don't keep quiet while watching it we're leaving!” I threaten those rascals who suddenly look like the very picture of calm and composure smiling like angels to me.

‘Goddamnit, I hope the damn thing is worth all this bullshit.’ I sigh while watching from the corner of my eyes as Merlin puts on a suspiciously innocent face before slowly fading away from view.

‘Well, here's hoping I'm not the target of whatever prank he'll come up with this time.’

Luckily, Artoria didn't seem all that interested in watching the movie with us and chose to remain on her pokéball practicing her sewing skills with a few yarn balls I bought to distract her tendency of chewing my clothes.

And at the rate she was going through them, I would start looking like I live in the woods by the end of the week.

______________

10:25 AM

“Huh, it was surprisingly good. Of all suspects investigated, I wasn't expecting her to be the culprit behind the robbery.” I comment idly as we leave the viewing room.

It was a suspense movie where someone robbed a café shop in what seems to be the Mystery Dungeon universe.

Apparently this is the director's first attempt to see if anyone would be interested in the genre since no official PMD movie was released until now. Sasha says that from a few rumors she heard, the director plans on making another one next year if this one becomes a success.

‘Given how everyone in the room was genuinely pleased with the unexpected ending, I can already see another coming soon.’ I note with mild interest while ignoring how quite a few people behind us fall flat into the ground because someone decided to tie their shoes.

“Misdreavus dreav!"

Speaking of the little shit, Merlin suddenly appears at my side while visibly struggling to hold his laughter at their misfortune.

And I as the responsible trainer that I am pointedly stare at him, shaking my head in clear disappointment while also giving a subtle thumbs up at the prank.

Does the fact that it was me who gave the idea and how to do it while people are distracted make me a very bad influence to my team? Yes, it does.

Am I going to stop? Hell no.

Tomfoolery aside, guess who was the culprit behind the stolen drinks?

And no, it wasn't munchlax as literally everyone expected from the little guy.

Well, looks like while no one was paying attention Clefairy went and stole 40 drinks under everyone's nose.

She took forty drinks.

That's as many as four tens. And that's terrible.

“No one did, I was suspecting it was Mr. Mime because he looked very nervous.” Sasha responds after giving me the most deadpan look she could at seeing me not so subtly praising the ghost type.

The mime had a severe case of anxiety and all the interrogation plus only being able to convey his innocence through mimicry was doing him no favors.

“I get it, I was keeping an eye out for him and Spinda. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but she had a few stains of sweets on her paws during a few scenes along the investigation.”

Spinda on the other hand was secretly eating a few gummies without her father’s, the owner of the establishment, knowledge and ended up getting caught right before Clefairy was discovered by Team Sun.

AKA Bellossom and Maractus.

“Anyway, now that we’re done here I’ll be taking my leave to go back to the pokémon center so I can troll Rose and get absolutely destroyed playing chess.” I lazily comment as I exit the mall and stretch my arms with a yawn.

It takes mere 5 steps for a hand to clench on my shoulder with a stone vice grip.

Slowly turning my head to the eerily smiling galarian, I can't help but feel dread when she points to a Spa on the other side of the street.

“Why?”

“Have ye taken a look at yer face? Ye look like a bloody insomniac who didnae sleep for a whole week. 'N' wild hair aside, I wonder how yers is this good when yer face looks like as if ye didnae know what sleep schedule even means.”

“That's my default face asshole! And I dunno, I've been using a soap bar to wash it this whole time. If it works it works I guess.” I shrug as I continue on my path and ignore how still she suddenly became at my response.

‘I’m not going to spend my money on fucking conditioner and other shit when soap and cheap shampoo works just fine.’

The enraged tackle I receive a few moments later and several swears she spouts while trying to beat me senseless are almost preferable to how she forcibly drags me to the nearest beauty shop and refuses to explain why.

______________

04:38 PM

After the futile attempts of at least 4 beauticians trying to tame this mess that I call hair, I left the shop with it just as messy as I've entered with because nothing they tried on it stayed for long before returning to chaos a few seconds later.

I didn't understand a single thing they said about what products I had to use and simply nodded along the conversation, knowing full well that I will keep using the cheapest shampoo I can find and soap regardless of how much they say otherwise.

Only when they tried to put some nails on me, because I chewed them off at some point, that I had enough of that bullshit and walked straight to the pokémon center after fleeing the shop. Any attempts from Sasha to impede my path resulted in violence with extreme prejudice against her person.

Seeing that I wouldn’t be dissuaded from going back to my room, the galarian eventually relented and had gone do some exploring of the city's outskirts.

Meanwhile I had the best sleep of my entire life after delivering packages all over the city the entire week so I could buy more things and stack up some extra cash in case I need.

And let me tell you, wearing flip-flops again after only using shoes feels so fucking goo–

*Bang!*

The bastard that I call friend all but smashes the room’s door open with not a single care in the world as she barges in, holding on to her duffel bag as if she just stole a bank.

'What have she done this time?'

Removing Artoria from my lap, who was currently being cleaned up by a humid towel that I was using to polish said bug type until she looked like a squeaky clean boot, I annoyedly turn to stare at the bane of my life as she recovers her breath after probably running all the way here.

Closing the door behind her, she gently puts the bag down on her bed and retrieves a pink feline that was hiding within it.

“Ah found this weird Espeon sleeping in an alleyway and offered it to sleep here! Although I had tae hid it in me bag because it didn't want ta be captured.” Sasha excitedly explains while holding the psychic by the armpits and letting it dangle bonelessly as it giggles.

Looking at it closely, I can see what seems to be an adorable, small, pink cat with an abnormally long tail.

The curious thing is that it doesn't have a gem on its forehead, its ears are shorter than I remember and its tail does not split in two by the end.

Wait a damn minute...

'Please tell me she didn’t find what I think it is.’ I plead with mounting horror as the beaming girl proudly presents a very relaxed Mew enjoying the whole misunderstanding on Sasha's part.

"Oh God it is." I whisper under my breath as it lazily waves a paw at me.

‘I'll have an aneurysm at this rate and I’m not entirely sure if the cause of it is going to be my team or this fucking girl.’ I groan and raise my hands to cover my face from sheer frustration.

*Sigh*

Tiredly staring at the unaware girl and ignoring my noibat happily waving a wing to the equally enthusiastic mythical pokémon swishing its tail, I eventually come up with something to say that aren't incoherent screams of rage.

“You know what, I don't care anymore. It's not everyday you get to see an… eeveelution and I'll be damned if I don't at least pet it.”

The childish mischievousness that the psychic cat conveys to me for going along with the misunderstanding is enough to make me snort and shake my head in exasperation.

“Now you’re gettin’ it! It likes scratches behind the ears like this!” My blissfully unaware friend proclaims with glee as she puts it down on her bed in order to turn the Ancestor Pokémon into a puddle of meowings and purring.

Needless to say that it doesn't take very long for my self-restraint to be torn to shreds and for me to start tickling the now laughing mythical cat.

______________

01:23 AM

Juliette Joy

She's going to snap and there's no Jolyne to hold her this time around.

Every single night one of those two somehow manages to make her shift worse. Be it by beating each other up so frequently that they regularly need to be taken to the infirmary or by sneaking past her when she’s distracted to go cause trouble in the early hours of the morning.

The amount of times the purple one managed to leave unnoticed only to be found hours later somewhere in the forest is honestly outstanding.

Why the teen insists on going there to ‘play’ with the ghosts despite knowing full well that she'll eventually get caught by Jenny is a mystery to Juliette.

The galarian on the other hand is another problem altogether considering that she was found invading houses all around the city at random just so she could challenge anyone inside into a battle.

Funnily enough, according to JoJo this is a similar behavior to another younger trainer she met during the day who also happened to be seen entering houses at random to greet people. 

“These kids are getting worse by the year. I swear that I’ll leave my job to go work at a miltank farm if this keeps going on.” She angrily mumbles to herself, beelining straight to the room where she received another noise complaint coming from.

As she gets near the door, the muffled sound of a fast paced song gets louder and louder until she’s turning the knob.

*Click*

Upon opening the door, she’s met with a scene that will certainly be forever stuck on her mind.

A knocked out purple haired teen laying on the floor face first with both arms extended and an empty soda can loosely held in one hand.

Her equally out cold roommate who slept while sitting with her back against the wooden dresser on the far end of the room in a slumped manner, wearing a victorious smile on her face while resting around a considerable pile of empty cans littering on the floor.

Painting some kind of drinking competition where she was the clear winner after a hard fought battle.

The floating disco ball held with a pinkish energy currently being lit up by three flashlights placed at different angles to shine on it as it spins casts the entire room with dizzying flashes of colorful lights.

A marill and the off-color noibat softly snore near each other by the lower bed to her right and the sewaddle laying curled in front of some kind of altar made from mismatched clothing and wool below the bed.

On the left side of the room there's a ralts currently slapping the shit out of an unconscious toxel like there’s no tomorrow with a gigawatt smile on her face.

Above them, on the upper mattress, there are three unidentified pokémon who are too busy happily chatting between themselves to notice her on the door.

A floating pink feline, a grey ghost with golden hoops around its two horns and a cream colored pokémon with its ears taking a particular V shape.

‘Okay, this is getting ridiculous at this point.’ She thinks to herself and pointedly drags their attention to her.

“Coff coff!”

“...”

If there wasn’t the blaring music in the background, you would be able to hear a pin drop with how silent they went at noticing the sleep deprived nurse standing impatiently by the door.

“Now that I have your attention, can any of you please turn off the music? It's already late and there’s others wanting to sleep out here if you didn’t notice!”

With a few nods in understanding and a thumbs up from the rabbit like pokémon, the grey one takes hold of a single hoop before inserting its hand in it, making another hoop materialize from thin air above the dresser, and poking a small device on it with the disembodied limb.

For her relief, the song stops and she can finally go back to the lobby where she left Chansey to stay while she handled the situation. But not before telling the unsupervised pokémons to speak quietly and not make too much noise.

She prepares to speak and warn them, but it seems that it’s completely unnecessary as the pink one suddenly drops the disco ball on the opposing bed to the right with a muted groan from the mattress and teleports away after saying its goodbyes to the other two.

Following the feline's lead, the ghost creates another portal and drags its whining V-shaped friend inside before also disappearing as if it was never there to begin with.

‘…’

She stands there staring at the vacant spot where the trio once stood for a solid minute before realizing that no, they won't be coming back from whenever they've gone.

*Slap!*

Snapping her gaze to the ralts who is raising another arm to hit the reptile's unperturbed face, she simply glares at the psychic until it backs away with a pout and takes a hop directly at her trainer's hair.

The diminutive pokémon immediately sinks into the sea of purple as if it was made of liquid and disappears entirely from view.

What.

With a quick shake of her head, she dismisses what she just saw as exhaustion from sleep deprivation and takes a last look around the silent bedroom before exiting it.

Quietly closing the door behind her and sitting down in the middle of the empty hallway, Julliete looks to the led lamps above and takes a deep breath before letting out a muffled scream into her uniform.

The prospect of working in a farm never seemed so tempting as it was right now.

Chapter Text

11:37 AM

'Ugh, note to self: Don’t drink 13 cans of soda in the span of 30 minutes because that’s stupid.’ I groan tiredly as I leave the bathroom, taking a while to process what the hell happened last evening until past midnight.

Let's see, we fucked around with Mew for quite a while before everything went to shit around 17:00.

Sasha pulled a laser pointer out of nowhere and of course the mythical cat went ballistic after it. It not only zoomed to where it was with outstanding velocity but it also teleported to where it was.

The galarian's inhuman reflexes sharpened by years of practice dealing with whatever feline she had in her house somehow always kept ahead of the pink blur and maintained it entertained while I recorded it all.

Now, it would all have been just fine as it was. But the moron pulled a bag filled to the brim with catnip and thought that it was sensible to give it to one of the strongest psychics to ever exist.

I had mere seconds to realize what was about to happen when its pupils visibly dilated and went on such a trip that it started shaking and teleporting increasingly faster. 

At that point I was already asking forgiveness from Arceus in my friend’s stead for her reckless actions and accepted with grim determination the clusterfuck about to happen.

I obviously recalled my entire team for safety, Nanachi included, and grabbed my backpack in a fit of panic.

The oblivious moron quickly realized that she just committed a grave mistake and also started picking her bag after watching me do it.

And the next thing I know there is a blinding flash of light consuming my entire field of vision followed by the both of us dropping a meter or so above the floor in the middle of someone else’s house.

It was a small comfy home with basically no furniture on it, with the exception of a large TV facing a green carpet littered with pillows that we ended up landing on.

When I looked around us, there was a startled blonde woman in her late twenties wearing a black pajama who was eating an entire pot of strawberry ice cream with her garchomp by the table on the opposite side of the house.

“Stop! Get back here yer crazy bastart!” Sasha shouted desperately from my side and before I could comprehend why the hell that woman felt so familiar I quickly turned back to the monster she created.

The fucking cat who was zooming at incredible speeds inside the house as if it was a pinball suddenly went out by the open window and started flying in circles outside with whoops of glee.

I didn't even have time to apologize to the owner of the house before getting pulled by my friend through the front door and forced to chase after the flying menace around the small beach town.

I considered that it was either a miracle or my fucking negative luck working overtime that when Mew started preparing for another teleport we were close enough to get caught in it.

It went like that for a while, going from place to place and ignoring every startled person along the way in order to calm down the mythical pokémon.

From a bioluminescent forest lit up by big mushrooms filled with fairies to the peak of a mountain where I would’ve frozen to death if we stayed there for too long to an immense red bridge covered in mist.

At some point Hoopa joined along because the chaos we were causing was pure entertainment for it and was secretly a blessing in disguise by letting us go with it through the hoops when we weren't able to catch up to Mew before it teleported away.

Victini ended up joining when the psychic cat became sober enough to think clearer but not enough to stay still for more than 15 seconds.

To get rid of that restlessness, it decided to visit some island with a big lighthouse where Victini was chilling and invited it to come along.

Apparently the V-shaped pokémon was just as hyperactive as Mew was at that moment and they ended up deciding to run across the entirety of what seemed to be Unova’s Desert Resort if the ruins in the distance were what I thought it was.

At that point I was just done with everything in my life and decided to be the arbiter because why the fuck not. 

Despite being exhausted after running through god knows how many regions after the drugged Mew, the green haired teen insisted on being the cameramen and chose a nice dune behind us to record it all on her Pokédex.

Hoopa the absolute madlad that it was disappeared for a few minutes while I tried in vain to explain to Mew that teleporting to the finish line didn't count as a win and came back with some humanoid cat-like pokémon that looked like the bastard child of a malnourished Electvire with a Meowscarada.

After a few minutes spent setting the rules and amount of laps, we eventually agreed that direct hits were banned but self boosting and cheap tricks were entirely allowed.

When the time came and everyone was set in place, I counted down from ten and lowered my arm at zero.

The temporary deafness that I got from how fucking loud it was the thunderclap from the OC Fursona was almost as bad as the deluge of sand thrown on me when all three of them disappeared on the horizon.

I couldn't hear shit for a solid 7 minutes, but the pure spectacle of watching a blur of yellow lightning in the leadership being chased by a slowly but steadily closing in ball of fire that was getting brighter and brighter was enough to make my jaw drop.

Mew was right behind by masterfully using Transform to keep up with them and quickly returning to its original form whenever it had to pivot on a turn.

The race ended up boiling down to a battle royale between each of them actively trying to avoid getting caught whenever someone would try to make the other trip either by glazing the sand beneath into glass and making it slip, by blasting the floor ahead and obscuring the vision or having to get the hell away because the fucking cat used Metronome and now there’s meteors falling from the sky.

Hoopa and Sasha must’ve been cheering from somewhere in the background, but as I was deaf at that moment I wasn't able to hear how loud they were shouting at the absolute cinema in front of their very eyes.

To make a long story short the Discount Renamon managed to stay most of the race in first place due to how fucking fast and nimble it was, but Victini managed to get increasingly faster as time went on by using what I thought to be Flame Charge and ended up surpassing it by the 4th lap and won in the 5th and final one.

By the time they finished and my hearing sense got better we had to skedaddle because Alder himself was already closing in on us after coming out of the ruins in the distance.

How did I know it was him? Because the big ass Volcarona following from behind the distant silhouette was pretty fucking obvious for me not to notice.

So yeah, we had to scramble and managed to leave before the man could have screamed at us for the possible historical damage to the ruins from stray attacks.

After a quick stop to drop the literal ThunderCat on its home and recharging its spent energy with several Thunders, we just relaxed around its crib for a while in a secluded cave and eventually left to explore the forest outside.

Victini was like a child who just realized it was stuck inside a toy store and disappeared in a blur of speed, a gleeful laugh trailing soon after.

Hoopa went along to make sure the hyper excited rabbit didn't burn the entire place down by accident and Mew was currently undisposed suffering from withdrawal in Sasha's arms.

I debated on releasing any of my teammates and opted to release only Tanya. Any other of them would cause trouble either voluntarily or by accident, she on the other hand only does so if someone else starts shit first.

Anyway, that's how we found ourselves in the middle of fuck nowhere wandering aimlessly. Taking pictures of the entire place and occasionally trying to climb on big trees for fun.

Just when I looked back to check on my fellow teen that I could figure it out where we ended up, all thanks to said girl being crouched and curiously poking a sunbathing Fomantis with her finger.

The infuriating thing about it all is that on the top of her head was a fucking Larvesta peacefully taking a nap. I don’t know how she kept finding rare pokemon as if they were chocolate in a candy shop, but that was just bullshit at that point.

Interestingly enough, her purple frog was a little farther away chatting up with an unimpressed Petilil about something that I had no context of.

But by the frigid glare my ralts was sending him I could assume that he was trying to flirt and failing miserably.

Fortunately, I didn’t have much time to seethe at the girl’s stupid luck for too long because Victini returned a few minutes later with Hoopa in tow.

Why the mischief genie had an egg on its hands was entirely out of my knowledge and any of my questions were answered with a bored shrug.

The dipshit even had the gall of dropping the thing on my arms and simply dusted its hands off with a smirk after receiving my glare.

That apparently was my breaking point and I finally asked for our return trip to our room after safely storing the egg in my bag. My answer was a tired groan from Mew and a few grumblings from Hoopa when it realized that it was on him for us all to return, but it eventually relented and popped a brand new portal for us all.

Looking at the exit, I realized that it didn't know where we had come from in the first place and the portal it opened led to fucking Kalos if the equivalent of this world's Eiffel Tower in the distance was any clue.

Then with a sigh at seeing what I needed to do, we had another hour and a half spent trying to find the correct location.

It took 247 attempts until it opened a portal to Rustboro, but we had made it. It was already dark and the streets were fortunately deserted.

Sasha and the now missing Larvesta led us to the back of the pokémon center to avoid Grumpy Joy's questioning and pointed to a random window on the side of the building.

My raised brow as to why the fuck did she know what the exact window of our room was spoke volumes to the stone faced teen.

Another quick hoop and we were home, we could finally relax and rest from the rest of the evening.

…

That was what I thought until everyone's stomach growled in synchrony and the realization that we hadn't eaten anything for several hours finally sank in.

From there the rest of the night was a blur and I can't even remember what the hell we had done despite drinking soda, eating some well deserved food and dancing whenever a Pop song came on my phone's playlist.

‘Now… where was I?’ I wonder while looking around the hellzone called our room to the drooling girl in the corner.

*Poke*

“Wakey wakey!”

*Poke* *Poke*

“Wakey wakey it's for school!”

“Wha…?”

“It's time for school, c'mon!” I cheerfully say in the most annoying manner I can convey as I shake her by the collar of the wool sweater.

With a burst of speed and panic in her eyes, she jumps to her feet in a moment just to fall again when her foot slipped on an empty can.

When she tries to get up again looking visibly more awake, I opt for just staring amusedly as she zooms around the bedroom in a rush to get her cleaner clothes and enter the bathroom to take a shower.

Only when she’s about to leave through the front door to go out that I finally call for her.

“Oi!”

“Whit!”

“Just wanted to tell you that today is Sunday!” I reveal with a smug grin and wheeze when her expression falls in realization.

The dropkick I receive from her in response is absolutely worth it in my opinion.

______________

After cleaning the bedroom and storing away all our stuff, we unanimously agreed to drop by the Cafeteria to eat with our team and review all the photos and recordings we took yesterday by the main plaza.

Apparently the decision to record on her Pokédex was an excellent move because I forgot my phone's camera is dogshit compared to the resolution on her device.

Most videos are of the camera constantly shaking and going off frame every now and then while we pursue Mew through numerous places with Hoopa’s help.

We went through the middle of a conference between five people who were discussing something before we interrupted them by leaping over the table to chase our target and knocking several papers during the process.

I may have seen three gengars popping out of an old woman’s shadow at our arrival, but in the middle of our rush I couldn't be too sure of it.

The next scene was in the middle of a bustling street where I accidentally stumbled on a food cart and was screamed at by the guy crying on his knees about his cabbages who were now all over the street.

I think it was Goldenrod City by the big radio tower in the distance, but I'm not too sure about that either.

The final footage was of Sasha finally catching up to Mew in the middle of the dirt road right outside of Rowan's lab after running through the entire building with said professor angrily chasing us.

The lab was some weird mix of metal in one section that suddenly turned to bricks and cement in the other. 

‘Why the hell it had a windmill of all things as part of its design I have no damn clue, but I guess every professor has to be quirky like that as a requirement for the profession so I can't judge too much until I see the others.’ I grunt in discomfort and adjust the newest problem literally dropped in my hands into a more comfortable position.

The problem? I currently have a half black half pink egg with pink paw prints carefully placed on my lap and wrapped in a warm hoodie while I sit on a bench.

I have no fucking idea what to do now because I wanted an aron for my fifth slot and now I have this thing to take care of instead.

Could I go ahead and still catch my original target? Yep, but then I won't have space for my beautiful water type and that's utterly unacceptable.

I will have my shellos even if I have to spend an entire month camped on Dewford. Anyone who manages to pull me out of there without it can be officially declared the new king of Britain for the feat.

“Lar.” A high pitched voice buzzes a little farther from me.

‘Speaking of nuisances…’ I numbly think to myself as I turn to stare at Sasha officially introducing the relatively small larvesta to her team.

Marill, or Maria as the galarian creatively named her, is a little shy at first and only opens up to the bug after sharing a few sweets with it.

Grumpy and Toxy on the other side are feigning indifference at the new member, but are clearly paying attention and feeling a little bit of protectiveness over the youngest member of their team by how closely they are around it.

Meanwhile my team was being their usual selves.

“Bat!” Nanachi cheers from my side while inspecting the egg with her wings.

“Ral ra ralts.” Tanya softly whispers with malevolent intent to the egg.

“Dreavus misdre~” Merlin chants off tune to the egg as if to put it to sleep.

“Waddle sewaddle.” Artoria resolutely says as she knits something with matching colors for the egg to keep it warm.

‘Absolute fucking children that is.’ I snort in exasperation at their antics but don't stop them.

‘Well, here's hoping the rest of the year isn't as batshit crazy as yest–’ 

Nope. I know better than tempting Murphy at this point and everyone knows that If you don't finish the sentence then the jinx doesn't count.

...

Right?

Chapter Text

03:30 PM

*Bang!*

“Hey, you doing alright? You've been doing that for a few minutes already.” My fellow paranormal enthusiast asks from the other side of the table in slight concern.

*Bang!*

Instead of answering him I simply hit my forehead against the table one last time and lay there in silence.

Why am I doing this you wonder? For the simple fact that not only Roxanne has been giving me some very concerned looks whenever she thinks I wasn't looking and quickly shifted the topic when I tried questioning about it.

But there's also the fact of how Oak is definitely onto me by how he took a double take when he saw me during the morning class, ever so often shifting his gaze in my direction as if figuring out a puzzle.

I don't know how he found out that I was one of the two people responsible for all the chaos caused on Saturday, but the man somehow recognized me today and I can already see myself getting a surprise visit if I stay here for too long.

It isn't as if the rumors and news about two trainers chasing a pokémon from myth in numerous places around the world wouldn't quickly show up eventually, but I already knew about that possibility and was pretty sure me and Sasha would be fine as long as we laid low for now.

There are plenty of colorful people out there after all, they couldn't possibly pin point with needle thin accuracy who exactly we were.

…

And then it all goes to shit because the damn professor somehow connected the dots even though I kept my best poker face the entire damn time.

‘How did he even know it was me? It isn’t as if there’s only 2 people around our age in the entire world with these hair colors right?’ I groan and shake my head to dismiss the growing anxiety in me.

Standing up from my seat, I give the signal to Froslass over the corner and she turns off the lights, letting only a measly single candle over the table illuminate the room in a completely unnecessary and dramatic manner.

The curious looks I receive from Max, Sam and the Closet Girl, AKA Roberta, quickly turn into interest when I go over the blank board on the wall and pick the blue marker to write my plan on it.

The round glasses wearing teen grudgingly let go of what happened last week, and properly introduced herself after a quick apology for not getting her out of there that day.

It wasn't as if she couldn't take the door down with her pokémon at any time, the closet room is more than big enough to fit her gothita inside. She just chose to spend her time there sulking and playing cards with her pokémon rather than blasting it open with its psychic power.

“Hear me out for a second here, from what we've read so far all rituals take some kind of catalyst or offering for the spirits to appear right?” I ask and receive a few nods in response. 

“So, I thought about this for a while… I think we need a few requirements for this thing to work correctly. Maybe it's some specific time between midnight and the early hours of the morning or it just needs to be during a full moon, but you get the idea.”

“Makes sense, but do we really need to use an offering? Because I'm not about to steal my cousin's Magikarp when something more mundane could work just as well.” Roberta hesitantly asks from her seat before having an eureka moment.

“Oh! What about personal objects with sentimental value? That sounds like something that’d work.” She proposes with a snap of her finger.

“Why not offer food or sweets? You never can go wrong with food when trying to befriend a pokémon.” Samantha counters with a surprisingly good idea.

“True, but what are they going to do with our shit? It's not like they’ll suddenly want to join us because we offered your prized Ex Charizard card you brag so much about or some cheap snacks when most ghosts don't even need food in the first place.” Max flatly points out and masterfully ignores their objections with a raised hand.

"We should be offering something that looks valuable to appease them. Like these beauties Sam and I found on our family trip to Kitakami.” He concludes with a self assured nod, pulling from his pocket a pair of crystals that seemingly glow a bright hue of pink and purple around us.

‘These are neither Mega Stones nor Z-Crystals. I wonder where in specific he found those in whatever region this Kitakami place is. These crystals look like they'd be sold at a nice price if I ever got my hands on them." I muse for a moment before shaking my head dismissively at the prospect.

'No, I already have enough to deal with on my hands than I can afford, can't be adding more things on the list to make it worse.'

“Why not all of them? The crystals could work as either catalysts or offerings, but sentimental value will show our dedication to their support and the food pleases them if it isn't enough.” I add to the conversation after hearing each of them debating what to offer. Making a shitty drawing of us summoning a half deformed Haunter on the board.

The two crystals being placed at the center of the ritual circle and a few random objects around them as buffers or something. I'm winging most of this shit anyways, might as well act up on my inbuilt autism and do what seems right.

Taking a few looks between themselves, they eventually nod in agreement.

“Now that we have established the materials and offerings, we just need a place and the time for us to meet later on today. I vote for the port because if anything goes to shit there'll be people nearby to save our a–” I’m interrupted by the sound of the school bell ringing.

Seeing that we don't have much time left, I quickly say where they can find me when they decide between themselves and put all my stuff back before leaving the club room with Nanachi in tow to the Gym a few blocks away.

She's been getting better accustomed to being inside a pokéball and seems to have less panic attacks in the middle of the night as long as I sleep hugged with her. But her dislike for the object it's still there and prefers to stay out with me rather than inside if possible.

I can't tell if she's just clingy for being young or if she has actual attachment issues.

‘Did I miss something? She seems more afraid of being left alone than in closed spaces from what I've seen so far.’ I pause for a moment as I remember how she always refuses to stay on the pokémon center when I have to come here in the morning.

Although now that I think about it the two factors could also be related rather than the cause being only one or the other.

Theories aside, it doesn't take too long for me to reach the Gym where I bought a few tickets to watch some matches and get a feel for what I’ll have to face tomorrow.

Taking the front most seat by stands, I quietly release Tanya and Merlin to analyze the battles with me.

Artoria was currently busy being comatose in her pokéball because of her greed for apples was too great for her stomach to handle it all. So it was only those two and Nanachi with me for today.

The ghost silently hovers over my head with an expectant expression while my favorite egomaniac stares down at everyone on the field as if they are mere peasants from the empty seat to my right.

It doesn't take long for the arbiter to give the standard rules speech of being a two on two before giving them the go. 

A young lad with a very shitty haircut releases his Shroomish at the same time Roxanne sends out a Geodude.

There isn't much to see in a battle between relatively inexperienced pokémon, but it's still intriguing to watch how the living boulder moves around by either rolling, hopping with its strong arms or spinning in a certain way to dodge shroomish's Leech Seed with moderate success.

Eventually the geodude goes down after receiving one too many Absorbs, but not after giving a few rock throws in response and slightly bruising the grass type for his effort.

The second and final pokémon sent by the gym leader being a Nosepass doesn’t surprise me, neither does the Shroomish going down with three Rock Tombs in a row after paralyzing it with a few spores.

‘At least Nosepass is paralyzed and has a higher chance of messing up.’

The last pokémon sent by the trainer makes me wince in sympathy when I notice the grim determination in the Taillow's eyes. A clear indicator of this not being its first rodeo against the Moai.

“Just like we practiced!” The boy shouts encouragingly to the bird who confidently chirps back and rises up into the air an instant after.

Without any prompt from its trainer, Taillow focuses its energy inwards a few times while avoiding the rocks thrown at it and rapidly dive bombs at the rock type with a glowing Steel Wing.

Roxanne’s genuine surprise and desperate order for Nosepass to harden before they hit tells me the move is a recent addition to the bird’s moveset.

Unfortunately for the Gym Leader, Taillow is quicker than she expected and hits the Moai right in its nose with a loud cracking sound, making it flinch severely in pain and abort the Harden it was about to use.

From there it was a swift victory for the surprisingly vicious bird, always aiming for the sensible nose of the rock type and taking potshots at it when its paralysis flared up.

The battle ended with a few congratulations from the Gym leader and a loud cheer from the boy hugging the happy but exhausted bird.

[Anxiousness]

A burst of anxiety suddenly hits me like a truck, making me idly notice that my heart rate increased quite a lot and there's a pit forming in my stomach as I remember the last time something like this happened to me.

Quickly looking back at the frowning psychic at my side, I take a small guess on what she could be so concerned about by watching this match that it's worrisome enough to cause a bleed over throught Synchronize.

'She isn't nearly as mobile as the taillow was to avoid getting caught in a Rock Tomb and she’s definitely going down if more than two manage to hit her.' I deduce, watching as she flinches at my unspoken words and accidentally confirms my guess.

Well, it's good to see that her telepathy seems to be getting better at least. Can't wait to see when she tries to read my mind and finds nothing but useless trivia, autistic amounts of video games lore and memes I picked along my entire life.

With a few pokes to her forehead, I quickly pull the finger back when she tries to bite it in annoyance.

“Ralts!” Tanya snaps with a small glare.

“Relax a little will you? While you may not be particularly fast, or kind, or very smart–” Punch! “–Or tall, you still have this at the end of the day.” I calmly state with a finger pointing to her head.

“Alts?”

“Yeah, take a few notes from Merlin here during our training. Just because you can't overpower someone in a straight fight doesn't mean that you have no ways to come out on top. Always have a plan to even the battlefield, be it by obscuring their vision, by confusing them with your Double Team or even by taking advantage of your small size to make them overconfident and hitting right where it hurts.” I finish my motivational discourse with a nod to said dipshit who is currently acting very smug about himself.

“Ral alt.” She eventually agrees with my points and turns back to the field below with a more calculating look in her eye.

‘Should I encourage them to aim for the joints and limbs? I’m not sure if that's allowed by the rules. Not to mention how much of a dick move that would be in a casual match.’ 

…

Who am I kidding? Of course I will, it’d be stupid not to learn it if we one day find ourselves against a powerful wild pokémon in the future.

______________

05:40 PM

“Nuh uh.”

“The fuck you mean ‘Nuh uh’?! Give it back!”

“Ah’m not lettin’ it waste away inside yer bag forever, it's much happier with me!” The thief, scoundrel, lawyer, bastard, motherfucker, fiend and many other words for asshole declares stubbornly from her impenetrable fortress of sheets.

Sure it was a bad idea to remove it in the first place, but how the fuck was I supposed to know she'd yoink the shiny rayquaza plushie from my hands in the span of the blink of an eye?

I was planning on hiding it somewhere around the bedroom until Prof. Elm went away since he was supposed to arrive here by tomorrow evening due to some unexpected delay on his part.

After all, the last thing I needed was my sleepy ass accidentally pulling out the plushie when looking for something else and the man becoming curious on what kind of pokémon plushie I had with me.

“Hehehehehe~” Giggles the galarian from the upper bed where she hid, followed soon after by the sound of googly eyes being shaken violently.

‘I swear to God that if she damages that thing in any way I'll personally shave her head during her sleep.’ I silently promise to myself with a frown at the possibility of something that could cost a pretty penny in the future losing its value because the dipshit was too rough with it.

Turning back to the still humid noibat preparing herself to hug a warily looking Tanya with her very wet fur, I swiftly surround her with a towel and scrub every inch of her body to make sure she doesn't get a cold or develop fungus in her ears.

Her desperate squeaks for being ticklish are easily ignored by me and made much louder when Merlin and Tanya join in to torture her.

It's around the 4th wing slap that I receive to the face by accident that we are interrupted by someone knocking on the door.

*Knock! Knock!*

“Oh shit, did we make too much noise again? I'm pretty sure we're very high on Grumpy Joy’s shit list, no need to get on Ms. Jolyne's bad side too.” I mutter under my breath as I stand up from the chair I was sitting on and walk over to the door. 

Much to Nanachi's relief as she could now freely defend herself from the other two assailants relentlessly tickling her with pokes.

Only when I'm blankly staring at a familiar teen with waist-length dark purple hair tied in low pigtail braids and square bangs hanging over her eyebrows that I recall what I told my fellow paranormal enthusiasts earlier in the day.

“Who is it?” Sasha asks from behind me with only her head popping out of the sheet cocoon. The larvesta crawling out from her t-shirt in curiosity at what's happening makes Roberta do a double take at what she's seeing.

Going as far as cleaning her glasses to make sure she isn't seeing things.

“Wha–”

“Don't question it, the more you think about it the worse it gets. Trust me on this.” I cut her off with a hand to the shoulder and a solemn shake of my head.

The girl very much looks like she's ready to ask a million questions, but the dead look in my eyes succeed in making her drop the matter.

“N-Never mind, we decided to do the summoning by the hills in the north and far from the city so the lights don't pollute the night sky.”

“Makes sense, what about the time?”

“We'll be there by 00:30 to prepare everything we need and start at 01:00.” She explains distractedly as she stares at the clearly interested Sasha eavesdropping on it all with the larvesta now disputing with Grumpy for the nap spot on her scalp.

“Okay then, I'll see you guys there tonight. Now go before you are seen by Chansey and get added on Joy's naughty list by proxy.” I say with a thumbs up to the flabbergasted girl and slowly push her off the door before closing it.

Turning back, I see that my roommate left her comfy fortress in order to sit on the edge of the bed with her legs dangling idly.

“Ye already making friends by yerself? I never thought I would get ta see it in me lifetime!” The asshole mockingly celebrates with a proud smile and teary eyes adorning her face, followed up by a quiet ‘They grow up so fast.’ under her breath.

“Bold words for someone within armsreach dumbass.”

“Wait, whi–”

She doesn't get to finish her question as I pull on her still dangling leg and make her fall with a loud thud on the floor. When she tries to get up again I pull my water spray bottle and shoot her in the face repeatedly.

“Bad galarian, go be a smartass with someone else.” I say with a deadpan through her sputtering.

______________

12:30 PM

"Trust me, the witch costume, hat and dagger is of vital importance to the ritual."

“Are you sure?” 

“Very.”

“Are you really sure of that assessment?"

“Did you hear me stutter motherfucker?”

“Okay! No need to get angry on me! Sheesh...”

“...”

“But are you definitely, one hundred percent su–”

Whatever the boy was going to say was interrupted by the sound of another person with a strong accent shouting at them to quit it and to go help with the preparations like everyone else was.

Trading a single look with the girl about to kick him downhill if he doesn't shut up right now, Max hurriedly runs off to join the others.

The group then worked with a casual conversation as they painted a relatively big circle with red paint that’d get easily washed away by rain from how poor quality it was made of and scribbled some symbols they came up with on the spot because it looked cool.

To say that it was a very poor and amateur attempt would be an understatement given that most of the circle was asymmetrical and had overlapping spots where they needed more space for the candles to fit in.

But that was no reason to be dismayed with, for they already expect for it to amount in nothing at the end. Maybe even eat all the food in a small picnic under the stars if nothing happens as compensation for the failure.

Then they placed their offerings around the center of it all where two shining crystals stood, a broken wristwatch made of poor quality copper, a GameCube Joystick, a Frying Pan completely wrapped in gold aluminum and a still boxed figurine of Wallace which is painted incorrectly.

They look at their extra guest expectantly and the galarian grumbles for a few moments before placing a whole plastic chair near the offerings.

No one has the courage to tell her that she might as well just have completely destroyed any chances they had with the ritual for placing the furniture in a way that disturbs the local feng shui, but the sheer silence and exasperated looks between themselves were more than enough to convey the sentiment.

______________

Eventually it's time and they begin the chanting made up hurriedly by the insomniac looking girl because no one remembered to write it beforehand.

After democratically choosing the one responsible for the chanting through a quick game of Rock Paper Scissors, Roberta steps ahead with the small sheet in hands and starts the summoning.

“Let copper and plastic be the essence.

Let grass and the archduke of contracts be the foundation.

Let purple be the color I pay tribute to.

Let rise a wall against the wind that shall fall.

Let the four cardinal gates close.

Let the three-forked road from the crown reaching unto the Region rotate.

Let it be declared now; your flesh shall serve under me, and my fate shall be with your sword.

Submit to the beckoning of the Golden Pan.

Answer, if you would submit to this will and this truth.

An oath shall be sworn here.

I shall attain all virtues of all of Heaven;

I shall have dominion over all evils of all of Hell.

From the Seventh Heaven, attended to by three great words of power,

come forth from the ring of restraint, protector of the holy balance!”

For a few seconds, everyone eagerly waits for something to happen. But after nothing different occurs after a few minutes they audibly groan at another failure.

It's when they are about to start packing up their things that the two crystals at the center of the summoning circle slowly lift into the air by some unseen force and seemingly fuse together into a mash of purple and pink.

The disappointed looks around the group are quickly replaced by a mix of excitement and dread when the fused crystals shatter and a crack in reality opens where it was.

From the light comes a dark bluish-green ghost-like pokémon with a pair of primitive yellow eyes with red sclerae curiously staring at the now very quiet group.

“Flut?” It questions with a look of wonder at the scenery around it, the offerings going entirely unnoticed as it focuses on the night sky.

“Hey, it's your chance now! Try giving it some food and befriending it!” The hushed whisper from Sam to the still frozen Roberta snaps out the rest of the group of their staring session and they quickly push said girl forward with a few treats.

The big ghost with an uncanny resemblance to the slack jawed misdreavus in the background warily stares at the offered food from the human in front of it and reluctantly takes a bite out of the homemade carrot cake slice.

By how it visibly widened its eyes at the flavor, the effect was either excellent or horribly wrong. But given that it dives into the rest of the cake in her hands with wild abandon after finishing the slice, it’s safe to assume the plan was as a resounding success.

Seeing that everything is still going along the plan, the now visibly relaxed girl starts receiving more food from the others to give the primitive ghost. Calmly taking her time to explain how a trainer/pokémon relationship works through simple examples.

The dumbed version being that she gave it food, a safe haven from wild pokémon and the opportunity of visiting different places in exchange for It helping her with any battles she’d face in the future.

It debated for a few minutes before Froslass and Misdreavus added their own experieces to the mix, the similar looks the latter shared with It seemed to intrigue his counterpart as It eventually agreed to the human's terms, entering in the premier pokéball under its own volition.

...

The silence from everyone else as she processes that she finally got her very first ghost pokémon after all these years attempting to no avail is suddenly broken by the sound of clapping.

*Clap! Clap!*

Turning to the group behind her, Roberta stares confusedly as Lilah slowly claps with a wry smile.

“Parabéns.” The insomniac states as if she’s referencing something that no one else knows about.

*Clap! Clap! Clap!*

““Congratulations!”” Max and Sam speak at the same time after getting what the other teen meant to say.

"Gothi go." Her Gothita quietly speaks with a blank stare a little above her left shoulder, watching something that only she could see.

Quickly looking at where the green haired galarian was a few minutes ago, she finds only an empty spot with a bored looking bird resting on it.

“Huh, I swore she was there just a minute agoOOOH!” She yelps as someone grabs her from behind and with a surprising amount of strength lifts her by waist high in the air with a cheer.

That apparently is the signal for the siblings to come forward and grab her by the arms and legs, throwing Roberta up and down with whoops of excitement.

“...Uh, guys? Not that I want to sour the mood and all, but I think Officer Jenny is coming right in our direction.” Lilah says distractedly from behind the group.

Hearing that, they quickly scramble to where she was in panic. And sure enough there was a very annoyed looking Jenny running on foot at where they are with her Arcanine in tow.

Thinking back at what happened a while ago, the blinding light coming out the crack must’ve been a pretty good indicator that something was wrong around the area and she decided to come investigate it.

Even more so because it was out in the open in and in the middle of the night.

Fortunately for them, the fissure in the tecid of time and space was closed soon after the ghost's exit and they don't have to explain as to why there's a hole of light in the air anymore.

That's not to say that any of them want to stay here and have the very awkward conversation with the officer as to what they were doing in the middle of nowhere after midnight.

Then as a moment of genius suddenly came to their very minds, a single, foolproof plan was formed.

‘Well, as long as I separate from the rest and run for it I should be fine while they deal with Jenny.’ Every single one of them thought to themselves as they ran as fast as they could in opposite directions at the same time. 

It didn't work. 

It did not work.

Chapter Text

Theresa J.

“N-Now that everyone is here…” Theresa starts slightly out of breath “Can someone please explain to me why I saw a show of lights through the other side of the city this late into the night?” She finishes with a small huff, staring down at the five kids in front of her.

A familiar purple haired menace to her nightly patrols currently wearing a witch costume and her friend with a streak for being caught inside private properties due to excessive curiosity. Both looking completely unapologetic at making her spend 20 extra minutes after them through a game of hide and seek around the overgrown vegetation not far away from where they are.

‘I really should’ve taken seriously their threats about using guerrilla tactics, this will be a pain to wash out of the uniform.’ She sighs tiredly, carefully using her left arm to rub her eyes instead of the right one which is covered in glitter from the fingertips of her gloves to her shoulder.

Then there's a pair of twins silently blaming each other for getting caught, despite both having sabotaged each other to gain distance from her partner. Followed by a girl who’s constantly holding onto her pokéballs protectively, probably thinking she will demand them or anything silly like that.

‘As if I would actually go that far with a bunch of kids for being out late.’ 

She hasn't seen or heard of anyone similar to these three causing trouble around the city before, so it's safe to assume the first two teens somehow convinced them to be here for some reason.

‘Hopefully it isn't something stupid like gambling or drinking, if it is I'll have some serious words with their parents.’ 

…

Well, with the trio’s parents at least. The first two either couldn't be called due to invalid number registration or straight up not being registered whenever she tried contacting their guardians.

“Fine, we were trying to s–” “See an aurora boreal!” The purple one cuts off the red haired boy with a hand to his mouth.

“Really? Aurora borealis at this time of year, at this time of day, in this part of the region... localized entirely within these hills?” She questions with no small amount of sarcasm.

“Uh, yes…?”

The scrutinizing stare she gives the stone-faced girl for a solid minute is almost palpable. But the teen’s default look of constant boredom is as solid as any steel type Theresa has ever seen and easily withstands the scrutiny.

‘Is she actually serious? Surely the weather institute would've said something if that was the case, right?’

“You had to see it ma'am, it was a once in a lifetime opportunity! I can't believe mom couldn't have come with us and missed it too.” Says the pink one with a look of sadness, prompting a dejected nod from her brother.

‘Now that I think about it, I didn’t pay attention to the weather report today did I? I kind of zoned out while filing paperwork and thinking of a gift for my nephew.’

…

‘Oh no! He would've loved this!’ The officer starts panicking at remembering that the date for the birthday isn't that far away and she still didn't buy anything for her nephew.

Arcanine, the best partner that she could've asked for, quietly comes closer and nudges her before her anxiety can spiral even more with a slobbery lick to the cheek.

‘Wait, surely they recorded it right? Maybe I could ask for a copy and everything can still be salvaged.’

“...May I see it?” She asks hesitantly, trying her hardest to not to show how desperate she truly is.

The teens share a quick look between themselves with a seemingly silent conversation, reaching a unanimous decision to her request after a few moments.

““No.””

‘Damnit!’ Theresa slumps in disappointment, palming her face in frustration and loudly exhaling at having to make a last minute shopping spree in hopes that one of the toys will suffice.

“Arc!” Her pokémon barks pointedly with an impatient look, reminding her of what she had come to do here in the first place instead of getting sidetracked.

With a quick shake of her head, she coughs lightly in her hand in embarrassment at momentarily losing her composure in front of others.

“You're right partner, I still have to take these three home and drop the other two at the pokémon center.” She says with a no nonsense tone as she turns to the disappointed group. “So gather your things up and let's go back to Rustboro, it's dangerous out here at this time.”

The last part being not so subtly directed at the unrepentant insomniac girl who simply shakes her head in exasperation at the possibility of there being something dangerous out at this hour.

‘That one will never learn will she?’ Theresa simply sighs at the young trainer antics.

The most infuriating thing is that the teen still has the gall to argue that any pokémon can be dangerous regardless of the time of the day whenever she tries to reprimand her for getting out at this time on her own.

______________

Roxanne

‘How does one inform their temporary student that they may as well be a ghost as far as anyone is concerned?’ Is the question that continues to plague her mind these days.

After the shocking revelation from the teen last week, she informed the local Joy of the circumstances and requested if they could contact their family branch in Alola to get in touch with the girl's family.

The call was quickly accepted with little to no difficulty for such a distance and she quickly relayed Roxanne’s request.

A few calls later between the police and the Joys to determine where the family lived, their report said that the family's house was just outside the city.

And so they sent two officers to the location to contact the parents.

To their surprise the building was clearly abandoned when they reached it, the stone walls were growing a big patch of moss, the grass and other plants grew rampant across the garden in the entrance, quite a few tiles in the roof were broken or out of place due to roots from the nearby vegetation running out of place to grow but up, and where once was a open window is now a empty hole where the weather collapsed a small section of it after the wood beam rotted and gave in.

Frankly speaking, the entire property was a mess of overgrown fauna that was completely blown out of proportion with the help of wild grass types like Morelulls, Bounsweets and Oddishes.

After approaching the main doors, the barks of an old tree right outside the entrance had split wide open and a baleful red eye turned to stare at them with no small amount of displeasure at their presence.

The other trees around the courtyard suddenly took a much more dangerous presence, with their branches swinging in anticipation to strike at the pair if they approached any further.

The sight of the ruined property so blatantly infested with wild pokémon was so stunning that the duo even asked if that was the actual residence and not some mistake made by someone in the Town Hall.

After confirming once again that all the paperwork was legitimate, the pair reluctantly entered the household by the hole on the wall instead and started putting together a vague picture of what happened there.

Plates with long since expired food were still on the table waiting to be eaten, the furniture of the house is still relatively intact despite the years of disuse, wardrobes are still filled their clothes, toys and card games around the child’s bedroom are still to be stored by the absent owner, and the almost faded portraits with the pictures of an awkwardly smiling ten years looking girl sitting on the lap of her mother all but confirms that they lived there at some point.

But what really distressed them was the disturbing amount of ghosts living inside the house.

The chandelier by the living room moved by itself whenever it was out of sight, followed by the groans of iron bars bending and a yellowish flame flickering at the edge of their vision that snuffed itself when they turned around.

There was a small cloth Wooper doll with its eyes made of buttons that constantly followed them around the house the moment they turned their backs to it. Always keeping itself to the corners of the room where it could get a good view on them.

Along the walls of the hallway they found a hanger where a golden sword and shield stayed. Despite never attacking, the purple eye along its hilt always kept the two of them inside its field of view at all times.

The tea set by the kitchen was actually a small group of haunted tea cups and a single possessed teapot that clinked every now and then, merrily offering their dubious liquids to the officers who refused politely.

There was an anomaly they’d found in there that they were not sure if it was or wasn't a ghost. It was a tall, unidentified fox-like pokémon with disheveled light grey fur with red and white accents by the parents bedroom who was gently stroking one of the old toys in its claws.

The officers chose to remain quiet after trying to ask if it knew what happened there, receiving only an eerily silent stare in response as it slowly turned to them from the bed it sat on. 

Seeing that pokémon wouldn't move or answer them, they tried entering the room to find more clues. But the way the fox’s fur suddenly bristled, quickly rising up to an unseen wind was all the convincing they needed to get out before it became hostile.

After that they returned to HQ and gave their report in full, which was passed along to the International Police and then to Roxanne.

The question of what happened to the parent and child turned into a ping pong match with how fast it would be for an agent to take a guess just for another one to rebuke it before coming up with an alternative.

Only when they remembered that the missing girl appeared out of nowhere once again in another region without her memories that they hesitantly put the mother and child into a possible Faller category.

The International Police then ended up taking over the case and put a search team for the mother and some posters across different regions, but the hopes of actually finding the parent isn't as optimistic as Roxanne hopes it was.

‘At least the Kahunas and the League are going to help repairing the property, it's the last thing we can do considering the girl is now pretty much homeless at the moment.’ She muses dejectedly as the referee sets the rules for the match.

Which brings to the present day, with her and Geodude facing said amnesiac teen standing over the other side of the field with her Misdreavus in a three on three battle for a gym badge.

It's kind of depressing how the cute kid from the picture she saw in the report grew up into this pale figure with a permanently exhausted look on her face. She'd seen those usually vacant eyes in class before, but now after seeing how they used to be in the past only makes the present ones even more uncomfortable to look at with how jaded they became.

The posture itself portrays a lack of confidence most trainers have. Her back subconsciously hunches over in a tired manner, constantly swapping which leg to put her weight on in either restlessness or anxiety.

Roxanne truly hopes that with time, the inexperienced trainer in front of her can someday in the future smile like her younger self once did.

With a steadying breath, she focuses on the battle ahead with a look of determination.

‘I'll tell her everything as soon as my class ends tomorrow. I’ve delayed it for long enough already...’

“Begin!”

______________

Lilah

‘Thank god for competent friends who also know how to bullshit their way out. Explaining what happened there otherwise would be fucking hell otherwise.’ I fist pump in my head as I stare at the gym leader with a pokerface so I don't give away how fucking happy I am that my bluff worked yesterday.

Although why I thought I could possibly outrun an actual police officer when I didn't even start my training schedule for more than three weeks is beyond me. Now I have this damned leg cramps that is almost as bad as my exhaustion at not going to sleep early for today’s morning class.

When Jenny asked why the hell we needed a ritual circle for watching the aurora, her question was smoothly covered by Max saying that we took our MD&D game very seriously and were playing while we waited for the aurora to appear.

What the hell does that stand for you ask? It stands for Mystery Dungeons & Dragons apparently, he explained that he and his sister used to play it a lot with their dad when they were younger.

The fact that I was wearing the Witchdagger costume because I thought it seemed funny at the time only solidified his explanation to the officer.

It was a relatively fun night all things considered, nice food, fresh air from the ocean, stone age misdreavus look alike being pretty chill instead of trying to kill us all at first sight, and disturbing the peace as it looked in my eyes with barely restrained rage at being glitter bombed into kingdom come.

‘Sounds like a normal Monday night given my track record so far.’ I sarcastically think to myself and try to guess what kind of bullshit will happen next time.

‘If Sasha befriends a mute boy or girl and it turns out to be either Latios or Latias I’ll be officially resigning myself from the Hoenn season and going to Sinnoh to experience what snow feels like for the first time in my life as a tourist instead.’

The Mew incident doesn't count because I didn't actually have the time to enjoy the damn thing before getting teleported somewhere else.

“Remember, just follow the plan and everything will be fine.” I mutter more to myself than to Merlin, but by his nod I think he has the situation under control.

“Begin!” The referee shouts from the side with a swing of his arm, prompting both of us to give our orders.

“Shadow Sneak!” “Rock Throw!”

By the time I finished the word shadow Merlin was already gone, having sunk into the floor as a shadow and appearing right behind his foe who was desperately looking around for the missing ghost a few moments later.

Roxanne's order for Geodude to look behind only sealed the deal, giving the way too smug ghost type the perfect opportunity to give a full body tackle right in its face as it turned in his direction.

“Geo!” The rock type shouts in pain at the sudden blow and momentarily loses its balance by rolling backwards.

Unfortunately, its surprise doesn't last long and it quickly throws a handful of rocks at the already fleeing Merlin. Hitting my devious little shit at least two times before he gets away from the rock’s range.

He looks a bit more tired, but can probably handle a few more before going down.

‘Time to make our move…’

“Shadow Sneaky!” I shout once again, giving him the signal to perform what we combined beforehand.

His focused expression shifts to a more smug one at the sign and gives me a wink before disappearing once again with Shadow Sneak. 

Roxanne’s Geodude is way more alert this time around when she orders it to use Rock Throw as soon as it appears. Quickly looking at all sides in anticipation.

Which only makes it hyperfocus on its nearby surroundings, expecting Merlin to appear somewhere behind its field of view from sheer paranoia.

What it didn't expect, however, was the little bastard popping right above its head instead of coming out from the floor as he had done previously.

‘Never let them know your next move.’ I chortle as the unaware rock type looks everywhere but up due to the constant paranoia of Merlin appearing behind it.

Until the Geodude reacts to the Gym Leader's frantic order to look up, my ghost already has enough psychic energy for a full powered Confusion. Blasting the rock type dead center into unconsciousness.

The look of resignation on her face for having to deal with ghost bullshitery almost makes up for how stubborn she is to explain why she keeps avoiding the topic whenever I ask why she keeps staring at me as if I’m a fucking bomb about to explode in her classroom.

…

‘Wait, did she also figure out that I’m part of the teleporting incident?’ I freeze momentarily as the possibility becomes more and more plausible the more I think about it.

‘Well, that would certainly explain her recent behavior these last two days…’ I ponder for a moment as the Gym Leader sends out her next pokémon.

‘Fortunately I'm skipping town tomorrow morning and that can of worms will thankfully become not my fucking problem.’

Raising my hand, I signal my first switch of the match, returning Merlin and sending Artoria into the field to face Roxanne’s second Geodude.

She was pretty put out for not being the last one to face Nosepass, but we both know that she’s better off facing a Geodude than an actual Nosepass that can probably faint her with a single Rock Tomb.

Not that we can do much here either besides spamming Razor Leaf and praying it faints before her. 

I would order her to String Shot it in the face to blind it, but her aiming has a lot to be desired at long distances and there's nothing stopping Geodude from simply blocking the web with its arms.

‘At least she’ll be getting some good food after everything is done, regardless of the outcome.’ I can't help but wince at the thought, watching as the referee gives the signal for us to begin.

“Rock Throw!”

We can't afford to be hit, but neither can they…

“Blast the rocks away with Razor Leaf and then hit him!” I shout with visibly more despair in my voice than I had in the previous fight.

My bug, may the Sky Llama bless her shiny leaves, succeeds in blasting most projectiles that'd hit her and manages to send a few of her own before needing to stop and recover.

The few stray leaves that hit the rock type makes it visibly flinch, but nothing more than getting a simple grunt of pain from it.

‘Okay, that's fine… we if we keep doing this we might be able to chip it until it goes do–’

“Defense Curl!”

‘Wait, what? Why would sh–’ 

“Now Rollout!” Roxanne orders with a focused expression that makes me instantly start panicking again.

'Oh shit! Never mind, it's Whitney's Miltank bullshit all over again!'

“Use its own attack to hit it with Razor Leaf!”

Unlike me who is having a mini panic attack, the Sewaddle simply narrows her eyes at the advancing boulder and fires leaf after leaf at it. Hitting the incoming rock type with no small amounts of prejudice over and over.

The unfortunate part is that the momentum was already set in stone -pun not intended- and there wasn't much I could do besides stare grimly as the Geodude bulldozes right through the bullet hell of green projectiles, hitting Artoria dead center and sending her flying away with a loud crack.

This time I legitimately start looking worried because literally any other animal that I know of would be either dead or have several broken bones if any of them were hit by something like that.

‘I know pokémon are tough bastards, but still…’ I sigh, watching as the stubborn bug slowly rises up again in defiance despite looking like shit.

Geodude on the other hand simply falls unconscious the moment it finally stops rolling. Having taken the whole grass type move in order to hit my Sewaddle.

‘If this were still a game, I totally would’ve kept her in battle and got one last hit on Nosepass before switching.’ I idly think to myself before actually stopping to think about it for a brief second.

‘...’

“Yeah, no fucking way I’m doing that to her unless we have no other options left in our hands.” I snort in contempt at the thought and dismiss it entirely.

I’m not going to keep her in a losing battle and hope to hit a final Razor Leaf before she faints to Rock Tomb when she’s already tired. Merlin and Tanya can clean this up without her help.

“I’m forfeiting my pokémon.” I say with a raised hand, getting an approving nod from both the referee and Roxanne.

A look of annoyance is quick to appear on my bug’s face at being retired after a single battle, but it doesn't remain for long before being replaced for relief at being able to rest in her ball and eating something nice later on.

With that I call for her to come to me so I can spray her bruised body a few times with a Potion until she looks better and finally recall her to the pokéball. Releasing Merlin soon after back in the field at the same time Roxanne’s Nosepass appears with a loud thud.

“You ready?” I ask my ghost one last time just to confirm he's fine with this and receive a dampened smirk that somewhat reassures me of what we're about to do.

“Begin!”

“Shadow Sneak into Confusion!” 

“Rock Tomb the moment it appears!”

The misdreavus simply cackles maliciously before vanishing from view. Appearing from thin air right behind the Nosepass and hitting it with a blast of psychic energy. Which also gives his position away and in no time he’s surrounded by pillars of stones that collapse right on top of him with no way of fleeing.

When he appears again on my side of the field his condition isn't looking that good anymore. His ghostly form looks a bit more frayed to look at and the exhaustion is starting to set in.

Which is quite the contrast from the Moai whose face is quite literally the rock solid definition of stoicism, not giving us any damn hint whether or not our attack affected it in any visible way.

‘Wait, what’s that thing on the hole by its right arm?’ I pause for a moment, squinting my eyes at the blue, round object neatly secured in its “arm”.

Is that a fucking Oran Berry?

…

Yes it is, in fact, an Oran Berry.

‘You fool, absolute fucking buffoon, you bumbling idiot!’ I chuckle in joy at the sheer fuck up she just did by giving it an item.

“Oi Merlin! it’s time to fuck ‘em up!” I say with a growing grin on my face.

The exhausted look on his face quickly shifts for one of mischievousness as he also starts grinning with no small amount of spite at our enemies.

“Sing for them my magnificent bastard!” I shout with my hands cupped between my mouth and laugh nervously as he takes the hint and starts flying above the field in preparation.

Roxanne for her credit quickly catches up on what we’re about to do and counters it with her own order. “Don’t let them put you to sleep! Smack Down!”

Merlin quickly starts chanting a melodious song as he avoids getting entrapped by wave after wave of rock pillars emerging from the floor and ducking between any rocks that are thrown at him by diving sharply at the last moment.

Reaching a crescendo of malice and spitefulness as his ghostly aura gets wilder and wilder until he reaches close enough to the rock type, inflicting a Curse upon it at the cost of exhausting his remaining energy and fainting soon after.

“Pass!”

Nosepass now begins to visibly shudder in pain as a bright and sinister violet glow surrounds his stony body with an eerie aura that seeps its vitality to fuel itself.

I briefly watch as Roxanne curses silently from the other side of the field when she realizes her pokémon has been Cursed instead of put to sleep.

‘Thank god Sasha didn't mind sharing the Pokédex, I would’ve never guessed that he had Curse otherwise…’ I thank the Scottish girl with a sigh as I recall Merlin and release Tanya.

*Poof!*

“Ralts!” She shouts bravely with a raised arm at the shuddering Nosepass before taking a boxing stance and starts awkwardly bouncing on her feet just like a Hitmonchan would.

“Double Team! Don't make it easy for them to hit you!”

My faithful egomaniac simply scoffs at the obvious request, but still does it anyway. Creating multiple clones of herself around the field and running in different directions to confuse her foe.

“We don’t have much time anymore, finish this with Rock Slide quickly!” Roxanne shouts with clearly more distress at seeing that her pokémon is on a time limit.

Rocks upon rocks rise from the floor and begin to crash down in our direction as they smash the countless copies of Tanya.

In a clean field surely that would've worked. But since the previous Rock Tombs and Rock Throws created way too many covers for Tanya to duck under, she can now easily protect herself from all of them without blowing her cover.

The fairy type’s dexterity as she uses the environment for cover and mobility is quickly exploited by her to close the gap between them and setting up even more copies of herself when too many clones were destroyed.

She follows the plan we came up with and keeps spamming Confusion through the crowd of copies, slowly chipping away at the Moai and disappearing among them when it finds her.

“Now get closer and hit its right arm with Knock off!” I shout with a small fist pump as she goes unnoticed by the rock type blasting the crowd of ralts running amok in its direction with Thunder Wave by its nose.

The look of panic in the gym Leader's face as my fairy hits her move at Nosepass’ right arm and sends the berry far away from them is a cathartic experience.

‘You know what, I might as well teach her all elemental punches when I can.’ After all, what kind of trainer would expect the seemingly frail Gardevoir to suddenly bash their steel type with a Fire Punch right in the face with a fucking Haymaker?

“Thunder Wave now!”

What isn't so good however, is the wave of electricity the Moai blasts at point blank at my fairy. Paralyzing her movements for just long enough to hit her with Rock Throw at close range.

The midget is thrown quite a distance before landing behind a stone pillar where she hurriedly gets up with a bit of difficulty, feeling the static coursing through her body and causing a few spasms in her movement.

“Get out of there before it hits you!” I all but scream at her to get the fuck out before getting hit again. Watching with dread as Nosepass is about to throw another Rock Slide at the paralyzed fairy. 

That is until something in its body starts seizing up and making it drop the floating boulders into the floor.

The purple aura around it flares brighter, provoking another groan of pain from Nosepass, a closer look at it makes me notice the same static afflicting Tanya now also sparking through its stony body.

‘Oh shit, I had genuinely forgotten about Synchronize…’ I slowly blink in realization, watching in stunned silence as Nosepass tries once more to conjure another Rock Throw before finally succumbing to Curse and falling unconscious over the floor. 

…

‘We won?’

“Nosepass is unable to battle, the winner is the challenger!” The referee declares from the sideline with a wave of his arm.

‘Holy shit, we won!’

“Ralts!” My little psycho cheers with both arms raised into the air before stumbling on her feet because of Paralysis.

“I swear that one of these days she'll start behaving like Skeletor from how many cartoons she watches on TV…” I deadpan at seeing her celebrate her victory in the most cheesy ways possible.

Having both arms extended as if to bask in the glorious sunlight, maniacally laughing to the heavens at her triumph over her foe.

Which is very amusing considering there’s only the ceiling with some dusty old lamps up there and her high pitched voice if anything only makes it adorable to hear instead of intimidating.

Jogging at where she is, I pick her up and place her to sit on my shoulder with her legs dangling off. Giving her a quick noogie of victory before walking up to a smiling Roxanne who is watching us with a satisfied look on her face.

Opening the book she's always carrying with herself for some odd reason, she opens it right in the middle and grabs a small object that was placed in the cut out pages. 

‘...why the hell did you even cut the pages off? Are you telling me that you'd rather ruin a book than spending a measly amount on a damn bag for the badges?!’ I silently ask myself incredulously as the oblivious woman talks about how this was a great match or something.

I really need to sleep before professor Elm arrives, I can't afford to zone out like this when he starts his tests with Nanachi.

“...fter class tomorrow okay? Anyway, I present you with the Stone Badge as proof of your victory!” She finishes whatever she was talking about and offers me the small object with a content smile on her face.

“Yeah, sure I guess…” I agree with a nod while pretending I paid attention to whatever she was talking about. Focusing more on the shiny badge now resting in my hands than anything around us.

Glancing at the fairy at my shoulder, I ask her the most important question of her life.

“...Do you guys want pizza or cake tonight?”

“Ralts.”

“Both?”

“Alt.”

“Both. Both is good.” I agree with a knowing nod at her wisdom and leave the building with a lazy wave of my arm at the gym leader behind us without turning back.

Chapter Text

5:32 PM

“So, we have eggs, flour, butter, yeast, chocolate powder, soybean oil, refined sugar, milk, a bowl, and a kitchen tray… did we miss anything?” I ask just to be sure as I check the heavy plastic bags placed on my bed one last time.

“Bat!” My faithful partner shakes her head from my side after pretending to read the small note I wrote on a paper sheet.

‘You’re going to give me diabetes if you keep doing shit like this out of nowhere.’ I can't help but smile at her antics, taking a moment to scratch her ears for the good behavior lately.

She's been getting sad that literally everyone else but her got to battle, the fact that I promised her a battle on our way to Rustboro and never got the chance to do it only worsened her mood.

But at least the prospect of eating cake and pizza tonight are doing wonders to cheer her up.

Convincing the kitchen staff for permission to use the stove, blender and borrow a few plates and kitchenware was a pain. But eventually they relented and allowed me to use it as long as I cleaned up whatever I got dirty after I finished.

As if I would leave without washing the dishes, mother dearest made sure to teach that lesson thoroughly.

‘There ain't no force of nature scarier than an angry mom with a sandal in hand, God forbid if she pulls up the broom or belt.’ I shudder at the memories of my younger self coming back to haunt me.

How was I to know that playing football inside the house was a bad idea? I had no way of knowing that the glass shelf in the living room would shatter after a single badly aimed kick…

*Bang!*

“Tem geladeira em casa não desgraça!?” I yell at the cheerful looking galarian as she bursts open the door.

I swear she’ll break the hinges of it at this rate…

“I didnae understand a single word ye just said. And no, I’m not apologizing fer the door.” Sasha readily says to my annoyed glare, taking just a single glance at the arranged bags on my bed before giving me a questioning look.

“Gonna bake a chocolate cake tonight for my team, we won the Gym battle against Roxanne this morning and they deserve it.”

A brief look of disdain covers her face at the word ‘bake’ before being replaced by a more excited expression at the Gym battle part.

Walking over to the hanger, I pick my hat and present it to her with a smirk.

I don't really have a case for the badges, so I ended up winging it and pinned my first one to my fedora instead.

If I lose the hat I'm screwed, but I don't trust placing it in my bag by itself. I still have difficulty getting the damn Dusk Stone alone, can you even imagine having to find 8 badges in that mess?

“Nice, where are ye going for the next?” She asks curiously, taking a moment to appraise the shiny object firmly stuck to my hat.

“Dewford town, there's a cave there that I was hoping to explore.” I might not be able to catch an Aron in my team anymore, but that still doesn't put out the desire in my heart to rent a pickaxe and start mining any ores I find in there.

Aaand because that'd give me the perfect excuse to shout Rock and Stone repeatedly every time I swung the pickaxe.

“How ‘bout Mauville city? If ye go through…” She trails off before quickly fussing over her duffel bag and picking up an actual map of the region, “Rusturf Tunnel in Route 116 you'll exit near Verdanturf and can walk straight ta Mauville.” The galarian finishes with a finger right above said city.

“Why go to Mauville in the first place? We are literally one boat away from Dewford already.” I counter with a raised brow.

“…ridge…” She mumbles incoherently.

“What?”

“Ah want ta visit Lavaridge…”

“…”

“It's the Hot Spring isn't it?”

*Sigh*

“Yes, it is the bloody Hot Spring alright.” She admits in a pleading manner at my nonplussed stare.

Hmm, she may have a point there. The only downside about it is that this detour would fuck up with my plans for catching a Shellos, but otherwise that there's nothing blocking our way from going in that direction.

‘Unless…’ I pause for a moment, taking a closer look at the map in front of us and realizing that Mauville also has what seems to be a big river in its vicinity.

Welp, looks like that my original goal can still be salvaged at the very least, if everything goes well I might just find it somewhere along the river banks.

“Fine. Might as well spare the seasickness I'd get from the ferry and go check out the volcano instead.” I eventually agree with her request.

If the river doesn't give good results I still can go down Route 110 to visit Slateport and take a ship straight to Dewford afterwards.

…

“Wait, how will you deal with Wattson's team? Your Rookidee and Marill are weak to Electric while Larvesta and Toxel have no effective moves against him.”

Sasha raises a finger to explain her brilliant plan, before slowly lowering it back down as she realizes the flaw in it.

‘I mean, neither do I have anything effective against him. But at least only Nanachi is vulnerable to his pokemon rather than most of my team.’

“I.. uh, Ah’ll fight Flannery instead!” She eventually blurts out in a very unconvincing manner.

Shaking my head and putting that as a problem for future me to worry about, I give her a scrutinizing look and ask. “Besides, don't you still need to defeat Roxanne?”

At that she simply smiles at me with a signature look of superiority and retrieves a… green scarf?

No wait, she pinned her Stone badge on it.

“Since when do you have that? I never saw you wearing it befo… never mind. Considering the kind climate Hoenn has, it makes plenty of sense now that I think about it.”

“Me grandma made it fer me when I was a wee lass. Made this and the sweater Ah'm wearin’.” She explains with a fond smile at the memory before carefully placing it back where she took it from.

“Still, when did you even fight her? Knowing you, I'm surprised that you managed to not brag about it a single time until now.”

At that she crosses her arms and smirks before replying with a way too casual tone. “Did it last week, Maria just needed a bit of self-confidence and after a few battles around the city with her to build it up the Gym battle went pretty smooth.”

...

“You totally spent the entire week challenging her until you succeeded didn’t you?”

“...” She refuses to answer the question and instead releases Vevee the Larvesta on her lap to avert the topic.

'Ha! Nailed it!' I cheer as my eyes fall to the relaxed larva and its brand new name.

'I truly pity the poor bastards who hear her calling out for Vevee and expect an actual Eevee instead of a human sized fire moth to come out of the pokéball.' 

...

Never mind, that will be hilarious and I need to buy a good camera to save their reactions to posterity.

“So... are we leaving tonight then? Because I don't have anything else to do in Rustboro at this point.”

'Not that I remember at least.'

“Why don't we go in the morning? Going this late would only make it easier to wander off the main road.”

‘Because I don't want to be forced to do small talk with every stranger we cross along our way there dumbass.’

“Have you ever traveled at night? It's quite the relaxing experience in my opinion.” I ask rhetorically before elaborating on it, "And trust me, the moonlight’s brightness alone is more than enough to keep ourselves on the correct path.” I finish while pointing to the full moon currently rising in the horizon.

Sasha looks like she wants to complain more about my preferred time of travel, but a set of knocks in our door interrupt her from being stubborn.

“It's Professor Elm! I came to perform a few tests!” The muffled voice of today's guest of honor echoes from behind it.

“Já to indo!” I shout to him in response as I quickly store my groceries inside my bag and signal for Nanachi to follow me.

*Click*

Opening the door, I'm met with good news and bad news.

The good news is that Professor Elm looks ecstatic at finally meeting face to face with my now waving Noibat. Especially because he finally noticed how big she actually is when not seen from a screen.

She has reached my waist at this point, I even bought a fucking measure tape to be sure I'm not going crazy and this big ball of fluff is 5 centimeters short of being 1 meter tall.

‘What the hell is this sudden growth spurt anyway? I can't even blame the kitchen staff for adding some kind of drug in their food because it's me who keeps giving steak and chicken to her.’ I internally grumble to myself and allow my eyes to turn to the extra person at my door.

The bad news is that Samuel Oak is also here with a larger than life smile on his face that somehow grows even bigger at seeing my sinking expression.

“Did the professor arrive?” My blissfully unaware friend asks from behind me, popping her head over my shoulder to take a look outside.

Stiffly turning my head to her, I can almost feel my soul starting to leave my body as I notice Vevee coming from behind us and slowly crawling its way up until it settles down on her head.

…

“Whit? Did something happen?” The fucking moron asks obliviously as I, Professor Elm and Samuel Oak silently stare at the now asleep bug in her head.

Placing a comforting hand on her shoulder, I take a deep breath and tell her the truth I’ve been withholding in my chest for a long time now.

“Sasha, you’re so dense that light fucking bends around you.”

“...”

The series of punches I received by the irate teen was fortunately stopped shortly after with an amused cough from Samuel and a few calming words from Elm.

“Why don't we go inside? I'm sure we have a lot to talk about.” The older man says with a pointed look when I finally catch my breath back from laughing at her angry swears.

Hearing that quickly sobers me up and I smoothly step aside for them to enter the room. 

When both of them turn their backs to us, Sasha silently mouths to me while signaling with her hands.

You.

Me.

Later.

She finishes with a raised fist in my direction, which is quickly answered by the gesture of my right hand in an universal manner with no way of being misunderstood.

Bring it on.

______________

Samuel Oak

To say that Samuel was surprised when his monthly call with his old friend was interrupted by the sounds of screams and objects crashing somewhere inside the building would be an understatement. Only after half an hour later when a frayed looking Rowan returns to his computer that he gets an explanation about what happened.

Apparently two girls and a laughing ghost invaded his laboratory in order to chase a pink blur flying at dangerous speeds through the hallways and research rooms. Any staff that could've helped in stopping them had already left the building to go home due to their shift having ended a few hours earlier.

The cameras his friend installed a few years prior in case of a break-in were thankfully essential to analyzing the mysterious group who simply vanished in thin air when they finally left the building.

In the few times the pink menace stopped to stare at seemingly nothing and giggle to itself before fleeing away from the pair was all they needed to study it. A few researches later about the feline's appearance with the help of Professor Juniper led them to a few sightings of the ever so elusive Mew, with the brief descriptions each witness were able to provide matching perfectly with the one in the footage.

So a few days later when he starts another of his usually short online classes and a pair of very distinct eyes is sitting right there in the middle, it doesn't take long for him to connect the dots and plan a quick trip to the Hoenn region in order to interview one of the few people who interacted with the mythical pokémon.

Surprisingly, he ended up meeting with Professor Elm halfway through on the way to Rustboro and after a quick chat discovered that they had the same destination despite being there for different reasons.

‘Considering that the amount of people who have seen it before teleporting away can be counted on one hand, being able to get a detailed image about Mew and its behavior from not one, but two sources at the same time is a once in a lifetime opportunity!’ He excitedly thinks to himself as the Galarian teen happily chats about the ‘Espeon’ she found in a seemingly random alleyway before bringing it to this very room in her bag to play with it.

Any of his attempts to correct the girl about what exactly she was dealing with were crushed by her stubbornness of insisting that it was a Espeon due to their similarities. Samuel knew a losing battle when he saw one, so an 'Espeon' it was.

‘It reacts playfully to laser pointers and is prone to purr when receiving pats and belly rubs.’ Samuel amusedly writes it down in his personal handbook as she shows him pictures of it melting under her fingers.

He would have loved to hear more about the event from the other teen's perspective, but she's currently too busy answering any questions from his fellow professor who is excitedly complimenting the well groomed fur of the abnormally large Noibat being scanned over the table on the other side of the room.

“If you don’t mind me asking, how did you find your little friend here?” Samuel curiously asks her as he scratches the top of its head, receiving a blast of Ember to the face and almost falling off the small bed they took as a seating in surprise.

“Funny ye say that, because I may or may not have givin a full bag of catnip for the Espeon…” she trails off with an awkward chuckle and quickly averts her eyes from his questioning look.

‘Hmm? what does ‘Espeon’ have to do wi- Oh, I can see where this is going…’ He blanches in realization as the teen picks up her own Pokédex and opens the video section where there’s a considerable amount of files in it.

After scrolling up a little, she clicks on the first one and places the device in his hands. The fact that it immediately starts with both girls chasing the mythical pokémon with no small amount of profanities coming out of their mouths as they run at full speed through the well lit streets of Lumiose City only solidifies his expectations for what's to come.

'Wait, what was that?'

With a frown, Samuel quickly pauses the video and rewinds it right as they run past a Coffee Shop where a well dressed woman with shades and her Gardevoir sitting in one of the tables outside stop to stare at the camera.

“Why would someone use shades at night?” He mutters incredulously as the nagging feeling of the woman in front of him being someone he knows gets stronger, but eventually decides to let go of his intrigue in order to resume the footage.

…

When the pair all but throw themselves over the conference table, Samuel can clearly see how halfway through it the lights in the eyes of the Indigo Champion leave and only despair remains as hours spent organizing the papers are gone in an instant.

‘Ah, so that explains why Lance looked as if he would fall on his feet from sheer exhaustion during an interview in Azalea's charity event.’ Samuel sympathizes with the man, knowing very well how much time and effort the monster named paperwork takes to fill even long since his debut and retirement as a champion himself.

Shaking his head at the sudden nostalgia of his younger days, he can only watch mesmerized as the duo jump inside another golden hoop and crash against the wall of a dressing room where Mew is momentarily distracted over the mirror to inspect a blue scarf.

‘Is that Pokémon Studios?’ He wonders for a brief moment as the chase begins anew, both trainers rushing out of the room and then past a surprised filming crew, followed by a shrieking director and three confused pokémon acting on the stage.

______________

‘Well, it could've been worse I guess. At least they didn't pick a populated area like an airport landing zone or anywhere else where these flames would have burned the nearest forest to the ground.’ Samuel hesitantly grants it to what he's pretty sure to be an alternative form of Hoopa.

The descriptions about its appearance may differ, but there's only so many legends about a certain pokémon using golden hoops to cause trouble after all. One of them being how it stole an entire castle away in a fit of avarice.

Watching with what could be defined as resignation and a heavy migraine at this point, Samuel dutifully notes down to the minute detail as said mischief laughs madly to itself as the now group of five hurriedly flee at the approaching figure of Alder and his Volcarona after glassing almost half of the sand dunes in the desert they were. 

‘What was the Unova champion even doing there at what seemed to be eight in the morning?’ He can't help but wonder as he finishes the last details of his sketch depicting the cheery look of Victini as it jumps and fistbumps the panting electric type right after the end of the sudden race.

By hearing its growls of exhaustion when they appear in a surprisingly big cave where the entrance was covered by thick vines, he can safely write its name down as being Zeraora.

Speeding up a little as the group do idle talk, he stops when out of nowhere Mew repeatedly starts blasting Thunder after Thunder at the now reinvigorated electric type before falling limply within the gentle arms of the Galarian trainer.

‘Why would Mew need to… Ah I see, Zeraora may be unable to generate its own charge and needs an outside source to power itself!’ He quickly added as the group finally left what seemed to be its den in the middle of a dense jungle.

______________

The rest of the remaining footage is twenty five or so minutes of monotony where the green haired teen by his side gets sidetracked with something nearby and goes to investigate it. Leaving her friend right ahead who was too occupied having a heated philosophical debate with an Oranguru over the ship of someone named Theseus.

The device attached to the chest pocket records as the girl gently puts down the ancestor pokémon suffering from a mean headache in a nearby flower bed before climbing over a tree and going over one of the branches to grab an off-guard bug.

Any protests were quickly cut short as it received a staggering amount of bananas to eat until it literally couldn't afford to do anything but groan from how full it became. The sound of a pokéball successfully capturing the Larvesta soon after is quickly drowned by the squee of happiness from the girl as she makes her way back down.

…

Turning to his left, he can't help but let his curiosity get the better of him.

“Why did you even have so many bananas in your bag? If we start counting from the first one you ate in that cave filled with floating crystals to the last nine you gave to Larvesta you'd have 28 bananas.”

“Because it's tasty, and it does give a lot of potassium.”

…

“How many do you still have in there?”

“…72 bananas.” She mumbles with a cough.

‘That'd make it 100 bananas total.’ He just stares in silence at the now blushing teen trying to avert his gaze before chuckling and shaking his head at the absurdity of it all.

“I'm back!” Lilah announces as she comes back from the kitchen, holding a black tray with cooking gloves and setting it on the cleared table. A pair of flour covered Noibat and Ralts following right behind her as the psychic held the cutlery and a few plastic plates in its telekinetic hold, placing them down near the tray. 

The smell of fresh chocolate cake quickly fills the room, drawing the attention of the other pokémon scattered across the place.

Marill stops her conversation with Sewaddle below the bed, Rookidee’s usually dismissive expression shifts for one of barely disguised interest and the only ghost present among their group momentarily turns away from the horror movie it was watching with its toxic friend to focus on the pleasant aroma. 

Even Elm is quick to stop the conversation with his wife about the data he gathered in order to eat a bit. Although it's more about her reminding him to feed himself than his own eagerness to stop his study over the data obtained.

‘Hmm, I guess a little snack wouldn't be that bad. I'm starting to feel a bit peckish myself.’ Samuel muses with a scratch of his chin as he watches the table get swarmed by humans and pokémon alike.

______________

8:25 PM 

Lilah

‘Okay, maybe this wasn't as bad as I expected it to be…’ I tiredly think to myself as I wave off our guests. Staring with no small amount of awe as one takes off in his Dragonite and the other fumbles with a pokéball before releasing a Tropius for him to climb on and fly away.

Sure the initial flashbang of having what equals to a baby sun god casually taking a nap on the scalp of your roommate was a blow to their mental health, but I fortunately came up with the perfect plan to fix that slight surprise.

Given that the Prof. Elm seemed more focused on our original goal for today than the discovery of the possible genetic Father/Mother of all pokémon on the planet. I assumed that he was in the dark about it and quickly exploited that tidbit of knowledge by immediately starting his tests with my cute Noibat.

Which also happened to push Sasha under the bus named Oak and leave it to her to explain all that shit because I was having none of that right now.

That was a hard decision to make since she would've to deal with the total attention of the Professor for hours on end while I made myself scarce, but it was a sacrifice I was willing to take.

The good part of leaving the galarian to fend for herself was that I learned a lot from the otherwise scatterbrained professor. For example: 

1- Nanachi apparently is pretty young as I've come to assume, but now I know that she's just a year and a half old.

2- Her unusual coloration comes from the father side of the family and it does, in fact, glow a little in environments with low visibility.

3- The cause of her abnormal size is still being investigated and probably will take a few more tests along the next months, but Elm assumes it must’ve been some kind of malnourishment that temporarily stunted her growth since it started the moment I began feeding her appropriately.

4- All of the above almost distracted me from the fact that Bungee Gum possesses the properties of both rubber and gum.

The cake I sadly had to make a bit earlier than expected due to our new guests for today and hope that they wouldn't mind the slightly burnt crust with how much chocolate I dumped on it to compensate. But as always grandma's old recipe never failed me before and neither did it fail me today.

‘The stomach ache that comes later is another story though.’ Especially because none of these fools waited for it to cool down before digging in.

Anyway, after Sasha having shared the videos and some photos of our mythical encounters for the advancement of some field of science that I truly couldn't give less of a fuck to remember at the moment. I gave my own abridged version of it while I let Elm busy checking over the health of my Egg and paused to retrieve the pepperoni pizza we ordered earlier.

The Egg's health is great from what I’ve heard, so my job of not knowing what to do and simply winging it out is an excellent method for raising pokémon eggs.

I could’ve talked with Joy about it and try to discover what species it is, but I don't trust the woman to hear me out after all the shit she had to endure on my part and I already have my guesses about it anyway.

Side thought aside, Samuel will try to explain the situation to most of the high ranking people he knows and get in contact with everyone Sasha and I somehow managed to piss off, so we don't have to worry about having anyone else knocking on our door in the middle of the night in the near future.

I even tried giving some photos or videos of my own for the help, but my phone's bluetooth didn't recognize Oak's pokédex and he hadn't brought a cable to connect the devices. So it ended up with him dejectedly letting go of acquiring the full compilation of me having a dance off with Victini to the sound of Saint Motel.

‘Truly the hardest battle of my life right there, the little guy definitely had some moves hidden in his non-existent sleeves.’ I chuckle to myself at the memory of my crushing defeat, having already packed up all my stuff for tonight's trip and now just waiting along the lobby for my favorite galarian to get out of the bathroom down the hallway.

After all that research the two of them realized it was getting pretty late and they had already got what they had come to do, which brings to now as they finally decided to fuck off with their personal taxis and I can finally have peace again.

*Clench*

That is my thought process until a certain friend of mine locks down her hand on my shoulder from behind and pushes me all the way outside the building and further into the city, not so differently as a guard would guide a condemned man to the electric chair.

“You didnae think Ah'd let ye git off the hook that easily did ya?” Sasha says with a beaming smile on her face and a cheery tone as if to celebrate my imminent execution, which makes quite the contrast to the throbbing vein on her forehead and the grip of steel in her fingers digging through my gengar hoodie.

Eventually we reach our destination and I'm left to stare vacantly at the empty road of Route 116. The stars are twinkling, the moon above shines its calming light upon us and the scenery around is the perfect picture for a calm night camping in the wild.

Truly a shame that I won't get to enjoy none of that for the next half a hour...

“Well, it was a good life while it lasted. Do I get any last wishes?” I ask drily with a crack of my neck and a few warming exercises.

“No, just a number between 6 and 12.” Sasha casually shots back with a stretch of her own legs.

I think about it for a few seconds before taking a more cautious approach lest I step in a mine.

“...Dare I ask for what exactly?”

“For how deep I'll have ta dig yer fucking grave you cunt!” She shouts with a kick that I narrowly sidestep due to my previous experience learning her attack patterns.

*Sigh*

It's because of this kind of shit that I wanted to travel by myself, how the fuck are we supposed to progress if I know for a fact that we're going to end up trying to kill each other halfway through?

"Batman was right all along, the hammer of justice truly is unisex." I casually mutter to myself as I duck a punch to the face and give a low kick to her ankles, sending the outraged girl tumbling down the floor.

Before she recovers, I drop with my elbow against her back and get a punch to the ribs that removes all the air from my lungs due to my skinny ass lacking the weight necessary to pull it off.

Hurriedly getting up, I face the wild human in front of me who is preparing for a lunge. Only for it to be a fake out as the moment I dodge she gives me a fucking lariat to the chest.

...

"T-That's it motherfucker, I'm g-going to kick your ass all the way to Mauville and y-you'll have no one to blame but yourself." I gasp while standing up again.

The fault lies with you, Sasha! You, solely, are responsible for this.

Chapter Text

9:53 PM

Rusturf Tunnel

After we got tired of beating the shit out of each other for stupid reasons, we finally agreed on resting for a bit to recover our breath and then moving on like we originally planned.

The walk to the tunnel itself wasn't further than a 10 minutes walk and it wasn't even that hard to find when there's literally a damn house built right outside it. So after checking our batteries won't die after a few minutes of use, we entered without any fanfare with our flashlights lighting the way.

My initial fears of being swarmed by a fuck ton of Zubats were quickly dismissed after the first few minutes walking around the place, finding only the occasional group of Whismurs avoiding us from behind rocks, crevices or staying just outside the range of our light.

Now hear me out for a second, I’m not one to cause trouble for the sake of it. In fact, I'm usually way too lazy to bother doing anything that your usual moron would do and simply follow the motto of ‘Not my problem’.

AKA avoid whatever it is and move on with your life.

For example: let's say I find a key to an ancient tomb where legends say it's full of gold and treasures. Fuck that, I’d rather auction the key to someone who finds it more valuable and get to live with a generous amount of money for a while.

Townsfolk heard cries of help coming from somewhere in the foggy forest? Someone else can volunteer to go save them, I’ll just pass the message along and hope for the best.

There's something else on the ship and now people are going missing? You can bet your ass I'm picking a lifeboat and leaving by myself at the first opportunity I find.

What I'm trying to convey to you dear voices in my head, is that I had no intentions of causing the current situation we got ourselves in. All I did was ignore the local creatures with the most apathetic look I could possibly convey and walk in a straight line until we reached the end of the tunnel.

Even going as far as not having something playing in the background to distract my mind lest I end up disturbing any of the locals.

Which turned out to be a big fucking mistake because boredom eventually started settling in and I like any bored out of their mind individual began kicking any pebbles or rocks in my path further away, walked until it was in front of me and gave it another kick. Hence and repeat to my heart's content.

This distraction seemed to intrigue my galarian comrade and she joined soon after to see who could get a single rock the furthest. Needless to say that we became quite engrossed in the little competition we got going on and started putting more strength with each hit.

Now Imagine my surprise when during one of these kicks my lucky pebble which has been punted 9 in a row without getting left behind ends up hitting something that cries in surprise just outside of our flashlight’s range.

Aiming the light at the source of the sound, I have just a few moments to process that I've accidentally struck a previously sleeping Whismur and now it has begun to cry.

At the start it was just a few sniffles and I tried calming it down by approaching it with gentle words. I assure you the scalding glare I received from the other girl had nothing to do with my bout of kindness, no sir.

That apparently was the second mistake on my part as the sniffles turned into a full blown wail at my sudden approach, making me and Sasha both wince in discomfort and try to desperately shush it.

When the wail didn't stop getting louder, I had already given up and started running away from there because there wasn't anything else I could do to salvage the situation. Even Nanachi was already beginning to scream in pain while clutching her ears from the demon spawn screaming at the top of its lungs.

Then as if it couldn't get possibly worse all hell broke loose because that one cry plus our rush startled every single other Whismur in our vicinity, also making them start crying. Thus creating a domino effect where every fucking Whismur that we pass is now crying from either fear, confusion or a mix of both, adding another layer of noise inside the already enclosed space.

Bringing us to now, where I can't even hear myself think from how loud the screams in this damn place became.

Have you ever heard the sound of a plane engine going off? Now I want you to imagine that experience but multiplied by a dozen more inside a tunnel where there's only one way for sound to propagate.

‘I can already feel myself getting deaf and this time I have no one to blame but myself.’ I groan in pain as the sound of the collective screams of the damned get louder with each passing second.

“I thought they had Soundproof! Why the hell did the others also begin screaming!?” I shout to my equally desperate friend as we run past a pair of very distressed geodudes who stop to glare at us in rage for the disturbance.

“Soundproof doesn't mean they're deaf ye fuckin’ idiot!” Sasha yells back while dodging a Rock Throw aimed at her.

Taking a quick peek behind me, I barely have time to jump left and avoid the rock that was about to also hit me.

“Try throwing your mother and see if she bounces, asshole!” I shout at the bastard who furiously yeets another rock at me, this one flying right beside my head instead of my shoulder where it previously focused.

…

‘It seems I have another rule to write down on my survival guide. #12: Thou shall not slander the reputation of the wild pokémon's mother.’ I mentally note to myself as I wipe the cold sweat gathering on my forehead.

If the pace of my sprint visibly increased after that close call, then I assure you that such a phenomenon is merely a coincidence and nothing else Sasha might say otherwise.

Fortunately it doesn't take much more than a few minutes before we can see the end of the tunnel. Unfortunately, however, is that said end is blocked by a couple boulders that are easily bigger than us and we need to go past them if we want to get out before the Geodudes close the distance.

“Fuck, I had forgotten this bullshit wasn't cleared up yet.” I quietly hiss while searching for something useful in my bag and coming up with nothing.

Going through the middle of these boulders looks like a very easy way to get yourself stuck, and I'm not desperate enough to discover first handedly how long I'd have to wait for someone to rescue me.

‘Well, going over them will have to do the trick then.’

“Oi! Mind giving me a leg up here? I’ll pull you up and then we drop to the other side.” I ask with a thumb pointed at the obstacle.

“A-Ah thought you'd never ask!” Sasha pants while bending her knees and clasping her hands for me to use as a lift.

I may or may not have heard the bitch calling me heavy, but with all the ringing still going on inside my ears I'm not 100% sure about it.

Thankfully climbing the boulder isn't that hard and soon enough I raise the other teen up by the arm while she uses the rock to leverage herself up with my help.

Okay, now we just need to slow– Aaand she jumped.

*Crash!* 

…

“FUCK!” 

The dropoff to the other side definitely could've gone better if the moron simply lowered herself rather than jumping straight down and falling face first on the ground after her legs gave out under the pressure. But at least she was in a prime position to receive my backpack so I didn't risk damaging the egg inside while getting down myself.

*Thud!*

‘Oof, at least my knees are intact. Can't say the same about my ears though.’ I shake my head in a vain attempt to dismiss the faint ringing sound.

Helping the galarian girl outside due to her now trembling legs, I lead her to an empty spot a few meters away from the entrance. Taking a single glance at the sign informing about the construction of the tunnel being canceled before sitting down on the humid grass.

Looking around, we are in a mostly secluded area where the nearest building is a huge mansion a couple of hundred meters away down the road to our left and the town itself is a few minutes walk away from here if we follow the straight path.

“Are you still up to keep going or do you want to stop at the Pokémon Center for tonight?” I ask the resting teen while I release Nanachi again.

*Poof!*

Sasha doesn't respond immediately, opting to simply lay down and slowly breathe in the clean air around us instead.

‘Fair enough, I'm pretty sure I feel more energized just from how high quality the oxygen in here is.’

While she's busy catching a break I turn to my Noibat, who is looking visibly more relieved now that she isn't constantly getting her poor ears harassed, and start scratching her head as she eats a box of strawberries on my lap.

‘Hopefully that'll make up for the trouble she went through of being recalled out of nowhere.’

Hearing my friend sitting up, I turn to the grinning teen who seems to have made her decision.

“I think Ah’ll take the Pokémon Center, I dunno if I have the energy in mesehlf ta make it ta Route 117 without falling on me feet.” She says with an upbeat voice as she slowly stands up again and goes to check her map.

Why is she looking so excited anyway? We literally became practice targets just a while ago.

…

‘Wait, is she one of those adrenaline junkies? Because if I stop to think about our previous encounters this actually makes sense in hindsight.’ I wonder as the other teen confidently nods to herself and draws something on it with a red marker.

My questioning look prompts her to show me what exactly she has done, and to my surprise she made a line starting from our current position all the way to Lavaridge where she circled it around for emphasis.

My eyes end up drifting from the marked path to the additional locations and their names that definitely weren't there when I was playing the game.

Let’s see… Foothill Town, LaRousse City, Rubello Town, Volley Town, Purika City, Izabe Island, Crossgate Town and a couple more I also don’t recognize.

Oh, and I somehow went straight past Rinshin Town on my way to Rustboro. I knew my sense of direction was bad but this is straight up bullshit.

...

'Wait a damn minute, didn't she spend some time with...?' I trail off as another possibility appears in my mind.

"Say, where did you get this map from again? Ends up you never told me about it."

"From that wee ghost with the weird hoops! It had plenty of things to trade with before we left that desert."

I don't even know what to say to that statement, so I just settle for staring blankly at the confused teen for a solid minute until my sanity recovers from that blow.

“...Never mind. Although I have to ask, why the detour around Route 111? Are you wishing to die via heatstroke or something?” I eventually ask in a desperate attempt to distract myself from getting an aneurysm at this girl for trusting the accuracy of a fucking dimension hopper's map.

“Because Ah want a Gible obviously. The only thing cooler than a Sharpedo is a Land Sharpedo!”

“You're in Hoenn moron, go catch a damn Trapinch, Bagon or even a Goomy instead. And besides, Garchomp is overrated as fuck.”

“Nuh uh, I'll git me dragon even if that's the last thing Ah do.”

“If that’s the case then why the hell don't you go to Meteor Falls instead of the fucking desert?! The damn place is all but crawling with dragon types!”

“Because if Sharpedos dook in watter, then a Land Sharpedo is bound ta dook in sand ye absolute goon!” Sasha retorts with an indignant tone at my skepticism in her plan, acting as if her logic has 0% chances of being wrong in the slightest.

I angrily raise a finger to argue with this fucking idiot that there's no way this shit could possibly happen, but end up lowering it down after a few moments when I realize she actually has a pretty good argument and remember that with how bullshit her luck is she might as well find a shiny along the way.

And for all intents and purposes, there should be no reason for the Garchomp line not to live in the desert where they can make full use of Sand Veil. Especially because their ground typing can probably let them move in sand as easily as they would on water. 

...

Well, besides the fuck ton of Trapinch hidden in it waiting to bite some unfortunate bastard. But Rough Skin should be able to handle that.

‘I hate the fact that she genuinely has a point this time around and the logic is actually reasonable.’ I groan at my defeat and stand up after Nanachi finishes her meal for tonight.

Walking off in a calm pace down the straight road, we silently appreciate the pleasant quietness of the empty path. Hearing only the faint noises of a crowd in the distance as cheers exit from the stadium in the distance.

‘Thank god I'm never going to participate in contests, the pressure of having to be perfect under the scrutiny of the judges would fucking kill me otherwise.’ I sigh in relief at the bullet I avoided by being a trainer instead.

Not like making it to the tournament at the end of the season is going to be a pleasant walk in the park mind you. But it sure as hell beats having to deal with the sheer stress of managing the finicky control of your pokémon’s moves and appearance to look impressive, but also having to figure out how you want to perform on stage.

Worst comes to worst, I'll be satisfied making to the top 16 on my first try in a League Circuit. On a contest I wouldn't be able to say the same if we lost because I fucked up by having a panic attack.

And being completely honest, I don't really care that much about challenging the Elite 4 and Champion. So my placement in the tournament is really low in my priority list considering that my goals at the moment can be summarized as trying to get all the badges from each region because they look cool and eventually get enough money to buy a beach house.

Everything else is just a neat bonus in my opinion.

Althought don't get me wrong, I would definitely be focusing on going back to my family if there wasn't two glaring problems in my way.

One is the little, tiny, minuscule fact that I have no fucking clue how I’m supposed to summon the Llama so it can send me back. And by the time I somehow manage to do it I’ll be long since declared dead back home if I succeed.

So yeah, definitely not worth the hassle of doing all that just to be disappointed. At this point I’m better off speedrunning all the stages of grief straight into Acceptance and never letting go of that ‘Fuck it, we ball’ energy.

‘As for the other problem I’d have to deal with…’ I trail off with a single glance downwards.

Well, It’s rather obvious if you aren't blind, deaf, and have a severe case of dementia at the same time.

And I'm certainly not delusional enough to think the damn government will be all of those three when I currently look like thi–

“By the way, the last ta reach the Pokémon Center sleeps on the lower bed!” The oblivious girl to my internal rant suddenly declares before taking off with a burst of renewed energy down the road.

…

‘She knows that there’s two beds in the same room right? Or did she hit her head a little too hard during the fall back there?’

With a shake of my head at the antics of the other teen, I take my time to do a little stretch and get rid of the drowsiness settling on my mind.

“Joke's on her, I'm going for a walk around town just out of spite. That should be enough to keep me from spiraling again for tonight.”

“Noi?” Nanachi asks confusedly after seeing me not bothering to move any faster since we began walking despite the other girl having already disappeared in the distance.

“No need to worry lit– young one, I'll just take another room for us and y’all can sleep wherever you guys want.”

“Bat!”

At least I’ll still have you guys if nothing else…

______________

10:20 AM

Verdanturf Town

Having breakfast with my team in the nearest park I could find is quite a pleasant experience after being pointedly ignored by the still pouting galarian who said, and I quote: “Ah’m not pouting yer fuckin’ cunt!” when I met her again on the Pokémon Center’s lobby this morning before running off to explore the town.

And by pleasant I mean as in Nanachi, Artoria and Tanya are about to have a free-for-all brawl over the rights of being chosen as the Big Sister of the egg on my lap.

Merlin, the little shit that he is, simply stayed by my side and expectantly waits with me for the shitshow about to go down not that far away from us in the empty playground.

“Mis!” The ghost shouts for them to begin and chaos unfurls.

Artoria tries locking down both of her opponents right from the start and gets quickly overwhelmed by a literal tide of clones as the Noibat flies up and out of the bug's field of view. And thus leaving the Sewaddle no choice but to focus on the Ralts trying to hit her with Confusion from time to time.

*Crash!*

“Waa!”

Unsurprisingly, a sneaky Wing Attack from Nanachi knocks out the distracted Sewaddle in the middle of a Razor Leaf attack with a single hit. Which probably will do the same to the smaller Ralts if the move actually connects.

‘I knew the 4x weakness to Flying was bad, but gawd damn…’ I flinch and give Artoria's pokéball to Merlin and send him to go retrieve her.

The floating ghost goes unnoticed by the fighting pair as he holds the sphere with his psychic energy and recalls the bug type before returning it to me.

Looking back at the battle, I watch with a wince as my mint colored bat goes for a Wing Attack and is quickly countered with a Thunder Punch to the face when the smaller fairy dodges it. 

The multiple copies running around also doesn't help in the slightest her situation and it looks like she'll lose this one without intervention.

Fortunately for the now panting Noibat, a loud yell from me telling her to use Gust helps the tiring pokémon at turning the tables on the now panicking Ralts.

*Swoosh!*

The whirlwind ravages across the decoys and sends the diminutive psychic flying away from the sheer force behind it. By the time she gets up after landing on the sandbox Nanachi is already upon her and hits deadcenter with another Wing Attack, fainting the Ralts on the spot.

‘She has plenty of strength already, we just need to work out her control and reduce her clumsiness when attacking.’ I note for later as I give a thumbs-up to the victorious Noibat who waves back at me and give Tanya’s ball to the now annoyed ghost.

“Don't give me that look smartass, it’s not like you're doing anything right now. Might as well move a bit y’know?”

“Dreav.” He deadpans while gesturing at me who also isn't doing shit.

“Consider the following: I’m taking care of the egg and I don't trust any of you little shits to keep it safe for more than 10 seconds. Therefore I have the right to be lazy as much as I want while taking care of it.”

Not that I’m any better mind you, but at least I’m the least worst option among our group. And that should be telling enough for how terrible the others are in comparison.

With a few accepting grumbles under his breath, the ghost type floats over the Noibat who is shaking the hell out of the unconscious Ralts with her wings and saves the groaning fairy from her torment.

And guess what the little bastard does next? He throws the pokéball from at least ten meters away for me to catch without being able to get up or move too much.

The object comes in a predictable trajectory and all my years of hand to eye coordination experience were put to test at that moment.

*Smack!*

“Caralho!”

Unfortunately said experience was entirely useless because I'm not wearing my old glasses and instead of catching the ball as I wanted, it went right past my hand and hit my face with enough force to make me flinch in pain.

‘Fuck you myopia, even here you continue to plague me.’ 

When I first woke up in that forest I though my vision was fixed due to everything looking more clear. But when I had to read from the board on the Trainer's School I soon realized that my old vision was so bad that this weaker version looks normal in comparison.

Where I previously couldn't see shit a few palms away from me without it becoming a blur now I can see a couple meters away with just a moderate amount of difficulty before having to squint my eyes.

“Bruh, how am I supposed to afford an ophthalmologist? These things aren't cheap…” I groan with a rub to the brigde of my nose, releasing the now awake but tired pair near my feet.

‘Better yet, why the hell didn't my bag have glasses in the first place? Surely Arceus couldn't fuck up this bad right?’

…

“Who am I kidding? Given the track record so far of course he can.” I mumble while spraying the little shits with a Potion. The glare I receive from Tanya at the blatant intervention of her fight is duly noted and easily handled with a single “Git Gud”.

Anyway, that's a problem for future me to deal with, and sincerely? Fuck that guy, he never helps me when I ne–

*Shake*

I almost drop the damn egg in surprise when it suddenly shakes out of nowhere and my eyes snap to look down at it with caution, waiting for it to start moving again at any moment.

The group of misfits around me quickly shut up at the sudden movement and circle around to prod at the immobile object.

After a solid minute of nothing happening I finally deign myself to calm the fuck down and relax my grip around it before I end up cracking it instead in anxiousness.

"It's okay guys. Everything is just fi–"

*Crack!*

Chapter Text

Time itself seems to slow down as a pair of onix eyes stare at mine for what seems to be minutes on end. Its fluffy pink fur and downright adorable appearance being amplified by the morning sunlight almost makes me cough blood before such cuteness.

“Stuff!” It gleefully cries when I subconsciously pat its head, silently using every single swear known to man to curse Murphy's bullshit sense of timing. 

I don't even notice the eggshell disintegrating into thin air as the creature lunges for my head and hugs it with a literal steel grip. Blocking my vision with its body while also nuzzling its head against my face lovingly.

‘Huh, so this is what getting your head smashed between two hydraulic presses feels like.’ I idly note as the Panda/Bear/Red Racoon hybrid does its best to kill me with sheer affection alone.

Only after a few minutes does it release me and I put it down to look around. Where it finally notices my team who were getting free entertainment at my awkward situation and now are “happily” introducing themselves to it.

Nanachi was looking extra smug at getting to be the first to talk to the pinkish cub while Tanya and Artoria look like they’ve eaten a lemon when it's their turn.

Fortunately their loss of bragging rights are quickly put aside as the fairy boldly points to herself and spouts some epic tale that probably involves her winning against formidable foes if the exaggerated moves and attacks against an invisible enemy are to be trusted.

Meanwhile the bug simply inspects the baby for a few moments before turning to me and demanding the thing.

I just sigh and look around the bag in search of what she wants before handing over whatever schizophrenic work of art the damn Sewaddle created.

It was much too colorful to be called a scarf. Mismatched, asymmetrical, rough, and far too ugly.

Indeed, it was like a heap of raw autism.

The bug took the crime against all laws of art ever created with the utmost reverence and carefully wrapped it around the neck of the curious Stufful, not so differently as a blacksmith would provide its best equipment to their king.

‘I'll bet on that abomination lasting 1 week before being either chewed or shredded till it's nothing more than a bunch of unrecognizable rags.’

Unlike the other two quite possibly mentally ill pokémon, Merlin is simply playful and does a few tricks using a mix of Confusion and Astonish to produce a charming show of lights to impress the cub. Getting a laugh from it and a cheerful ‘Stufful!’ for his party trick.

“Well, at least they are getting alo–” 

*Bang!* Echoes the sound of Stufful’s arm impacting the face of my Noibat after she tries to hug it, sending the taller pokémon rolling away from the sheer strength behind the blow.

…

She does not get up from the ground. Instead just laying face first across the damp grass.

‘Never mind then.’

“Duly noted, do not hug the fluffy one unless it explicitly asks for it.” I drily say to my team as the remaining pokémon stiffly nod along in agreement with my assessment.

“Stuff!” It cheers before beelining straight at me, having my Ralts and Sewaddle instantly stepping out of its way lest they receive the same treatment the Noibat received.

It takes a moderate amount of restraint for me not to flinch as the creature jumps up to me and proceeds to use my entire body as an improvised jungle gym for quite a while. Eventually settling down on my lap once again and pulling my arms to embrace it.

‘If it doesn't like being hugged, then why would it come for me inste…’ I trail off as realization finally catches up to me. Remembering the first thing it saw upon exiting the egg being my face.

‘Oh shit, it thinks I’m its mother doesn’t it?’

Looking down at the dubious little creature possibly up to some mischief, I only see a very calm and relaxed Stufful that doesn't seem bothered in the slightest at being touched or cuddled by me. A sharp contrast from how it acted just a few moments ago with Nanachi.

“Okay, this is fine. I already deal with four children anyway, what difference will one more do at this point?” I grumble while reluctantly hugging the deceitfully strong pokémon who happily accepts it and turn to whisper a question to my amused ghost.

“By the way, is it a boy or a girl?”

“Vus.” He says while nodding at the trembling Ralts who is distracted looking at her stumps with an enlightened expression. As if she just got a glimpse of Mt. Tai and the road ahead became clear in her eyes.

…

‘I’m seriously starting to wonder if she’s neurodivergent at this point.’

Ignoring the fairy having a mental breakdown at the moment, I stare at the resting cub and try to think of a name for her. Remembering the clear image of this pinky fluff being born under the glorious sunlight.

…

“Fuck it, sun related it is.”

Sunshine? No, despite how hilarious it would be as a Bewear it doesn't feel right when everyone else has actual names while only she gets a nickname.

Leona? Nuh uh, she doesn't really give the vibes for it to fit.

Amaterasu? Negative. She's not a canine, so that's definitely a pass.

Celestia? Nah, I’m gonna save that one in case I happen to get a Galarian Ponyta in my care.

Seeing that this isn’t going anywhere any time soon, I adjust the creature in my arms a little while I get comfortable and scratch its back absently while running down a list of names until something sticks.

It takes a few minutes and even the wide eyed Nanachi wakes up from the sudden knock out in the meantime. But eventually I finally found the perfect name for the Stufful in my care.

“Your name shall be Rhitta. The name of a young lady loved by the sun or something along those lines.” I declare with conviction as I raise her high up in the air and let the baby happily dangle bonelessly like that one scene from The Lion King.

*Poke*

Unfortunately my dumbass Noibat takes that moment to ruin the moment by doing a little hop and poking at the helpless bear in my hands with her wings before ducking the retaliating swing. 

*Poke* 

The shit eating grin in her bruised face shows me that the brute strength of the previous attack didn't do jackshit in making her want to avoid provoking the buff cub. If anything that only strengthened her willingness to mess around with the younger pokémon more than ever.

*Pok–* *Bang!*

“Baaat!” Nanachi cries after trying to dodge a flailing arm just to get a kick to the chin, knocking her out a second time.

‘Absolutely deserved this one to be honest.’ I shake my head while picking up her duskball from my pocket.

Looking around at the remaining little shits, Merlin is watching it all with no small amount of delight, Tanya is currently punching a tree while swapping between Knock Off and Thunder Punch in a fit of motivation, and Artoria already recalled herself for today because her job was done.

“Eh, could've gone worse all things considered.” I mumble with a shrug, holding Rhitta with one of my arms and using the other to recall the unconscious misfit.

‘Now, what exactly do I feed you? I probably should've asked Prof. Elm or Nurse Joy for clarification on whether I should give her milk or solid food…’ I groan internally as the toddler under my arm playfully chews the ugly as a sin scarf around her neck.

If I hear very carefully, I can almost hear the cloth screaming in agony.

______________

12:30 AM

I hate my life.

“WHY!?”

I knew it was a bad idea to introduce the newest member of my team to the galarian. But I had hopes of the currently screaming girl in front of me having enough self composure and dignity to take the news as any normal human being.

“IT SHOULD’VE BEEN ME, NOT HER!!!”

I was wrong.

Especially because we are in the middle of a restaurant where I've stopped to have lunch with my team after asking for help from Joy at the Pokémon Center.

“IT'S NOT FAIR!” This dramatic piece of shit fucking cries in despair as she repeatedly punches the table.

Literally everyone in the establishment stopped to stare at the wailing girl in front of me with a mix of pity or annoyance at the loud noise.

“I swear to god, I’m literally going to suplex your ass if you get us kicked out.” I coldly promise to the teen who continues to weep dejectedly over the table.

All of this bullshit started when I met Sasha on my way out of the Pokémon Center after clearing my doubts with the nurse and getting some spare supplies with the woman. 

Apparently it's fine to feed the Stufful milk and solid food alike, especially fish, eggs and a handful of chicken. But she insisted that I keep feeding milk to my charge for at least a month or two just for precaution.

So, on my way to the nearest restaurant after having got all I’ve gone to the Pokémon Center for I stumble with the galarian in high spirits and a proud looking Corvisquire in tow in the middle of the street. 

Whatever she was about to brag about was cut short when she noticed the pink ball of fluff curled around my neck.

I tried to explain the situation, but by the thousand year stare she was giving me I don't think that she really listened to what I said.

After ignoring her strange behavior I just pointed to the end of the street where I was going for lunch and began walking away. The unblinking teen and her bird quickly caught up to me again and immediately tried patting Rhitta, who was distracted being bottle-fed some milk along the way.

Needless to say that the 1,68m tall teen was easily sent tumbling across the floor like a ragdoll from the startled newborn whose first instinct is to flail first and process what just happened later.

Then the bastard got up completely unfazed.

She tried again and again, repeatedly trying to either cuddle, pet or grab the fluffy pokémon being fed across my shoulders. Only to receive another hit that would send her rolling away each time.

When the little bear saw that the other human wouldn't be dissuaded any time soon, she instead crawled inside my t-shirt to hide from the galarian who was already getting up for another attempt.

The sight of the pink baby popping her head out of my chest in order to stare annoyedly at the other girl probably would've been comical. But when the whining teen began throwing a goddamn tantrum at being denied the 'fluff rights' all the way to the establishment it quickly made me lose almost all the ounce of enjoyment I had acquired today.

‘At least the chicken stroganoff is pretty fucking good. It’s just a shame that the lack of shoestring potatoes is the only thing keeping me from weeping tears of joy at the nostalgic taste.’ I silently give my thanks to the chef as I chew the almost perfect meal on my plate, rubbing away a single tear threatening to leave my eyes.

Sasha momentarily raises her head to stare at my unamused expression at her antics and her cries turn into angry sniffs. A look of grim determination settling on her face.

“You'll see! Ah'll get me a Gible and ye won't be able ta pet it!”

Okay? It's not like that’s on the same level as a Goomy anyway. Otherwise I would be in shambles at her declaration.

“Why would I? That sounds like a quick way to lose my damn han–”

“Just ye wait! It'll be the best and way more huggable!” She cuts me off with a crooked finger pointed right at my very unimpressed face. Bearing no small amount of pettiness in her voice as she orders a plate of steamed Farfetch'd for herself.

I don't even bother pointing out that ‘huggable’ and the Garchomp line don't really fit together due to its Rough Skin.

But hey, who am I to dissuade the teen's dream of cuddling a land shark with the skin texture of a sandpaper?

Certainly not me, no sir.

______________

04:13 PM 

16:13

I'm a goddamn moron, I could’ve changed the clock format of my device at any fucking time and I somehow missed the damn option in the configurations section.

*Smack!*

“Something wrong lass?” The old man running the local PokéMart asks after seeing me facepalm.

“Nothing old man, just hand over the belt please.” I reply with a sigh, checking one last time the clock to make sure I'm not going to be late for our meeting point at Route 117.

He gives me an unamused look for a few seconds before snorting and tossing me the belt.

I just wave my thanks and leave the store, taking a better look at the pokéball belt and testing the two places where it could go.

Around the waist is a classic to be sure, but the inner child inside of me wants to wear it across my chest just like a bandolier and for once I'm in agreement with the bastard.

*Click*

After putting it on, I lock the pokéballs in each slot and pick the most expensive thing I've ever bought a few hours ago from my backpack before wearing it with a nod of pride at my brand new drip.

My fedora, a white t-shirt under an open and worn out purple high-collared trench coat, a pair of black pants and some old black heavy duty boots.

‘Yeah, I’m shamelessly taking some inspiration from a certain subway duo and that’s probably the best idea I’ve ever had to this day’

It’s just a shame that the goddamn thing almost emptied my finances, but luckily there's nothing that a few days of running deliveries around Mauville won't do to solve my problem.

‘At least it was worth every single penny spent.’ I muse distractedly while folding the collar downwards and taking one last inspection at my reflection in the window.

…

“Fuck, I’m not beating the ghost type specialist allegations anytime soon.” 

While the tears and small holes adorning the trench coat fortunately solve the problem of overheating, they also add a certain haunted charm to it. The fact that my hair and hat also tends to occasionally cast a shadow over my eyes also doesn't help in the least my case.

‘Welp, it is what it is.’ I shrug and start walking away with a content hum under my breath. At the end of the day not really giving that much of a shit about it in the slightest.

“Stufful!”

“Noibat!”

…

Ah, I also forgot my other reason to buy the trench coat.

Apparently these two little shits began bickering over the spot over my shoulders and I had to come with a solution to make them stop.

Now, can you imagine my happiness when while browsing some street vendors for cheap shit after hearing the two of them bicker for hours on end I find a hanger with some old clothes from a elderly woman? 

The prices weren't that bad and the state was honestly in pretty good condition all things considered, what really settled the deal was discovering that the pockets of the coat was the perfect size for the Stufful to fit inside.

Now I can carry the pink bear inside them during our travels while also freeing my shoulders for the Noibat to sit on them. Solving my troubles of being a single father and allowing me to have a respectful outfit at the same time.

Truly, my genius is almost frightening sometimes.

Chapter Text

16:30

Route 117

Strolling… no, groovin’ to the impatiently waiting teen and her bored Corvisquire resting on a nearby tree branch. I take great enjoyment as her face contorts into several expressions of confusion at seeing my new outfit.

“Behold! Sasha the Galarian, my Pocket Monster-inator! It allows me to carry every small pokémon inside my pockets within the Tri-State area!” I declare with both arms spread to demonstrate my newest invention. Taking no small amount of amusement at her ‘What the fuck are you talking about.’ expression.

Slowly blinking her eyes at my statement, she cuts off whatever she was going to ask about my sanity when her gaze lands on Rhitta's head curiously poking out of my coat’s pocket, and starts glaring at the other teen when she’s spotted.

*Slap!*

“Ye didnae rob a graveyard fer those right? Ah mean, how did ya even manage ta look worse than before?” She eventually asks after slapping herself at the sight of my Stufful doing her best impression of a grumpy plushie.

“First of all? Fuck you, if I was going to steal something I would already have taken your money and ditched your ass in the middle of the night. Second of all, I may look like a well dressed hobo, but at least I’m dapper as shit. And third of all… using my inbuilt discount detector.”

“Discount detector?”

“I'm so miser that I can find the cheapest products by pure animal instinct.”

“Aye, that checks out with yer tendency ta avoid any slightly fancy place we come across.” She deadpans with a roll of her eyes, motioning for us to start walking already.

“What can I say? If I can't get it cheaper somewhere else or for free by doing it myself then I'm better off not paying for it.” I shrug while following the other teen, also taking a moment to check on the clouds starting to darken in the distance.

‘By the scent of rain starting to appear, it must reach us in an hour or so.’

“Even the laundry shop?” She asks with a raised eyebrow.

“The what shop?”

“The buildin’ ta wash and dry yer clothes y'know…?” She trails off when my confused expression doesn't fade.

…

“I had no idea that kind of store even existed. I've been washing my clothes on the sink of the bathroom with a bar of soap, some cleaning products and a bad attitude since last Tuesday.” I emotionlessly mutter with a dead look in my eyes.

Glancing to the side, I watch as my friend seems torn between wanting to fall down in laughter and wanting to comfo–

“Bwahahahahaha!”

…Never mind.

Waiting for the wheezing girl to stop laughing, I glance upwards at the Coversquire leisurely flying high above us in the sky and decide to ask something that has been bugging me for a while now.

“Anyways, how did Big Bird over there evolve?”

“Ah, I didnae telt ya yet did I? I met this frail looking wee lad with his Ralts struggling ta carry some groceries on the other side of the street on me way to the library. I offered ta carry it back home for him and had to insist for a while when he tried refusing out of politeness.”

‘She stumbled into Wally? Damn, I had genuinely forgotten about the kid with all the shit that happened until now…’

…

Wait a damn minute, she was heading for the library? Since when did this dipshit start reading books???

“Halfway through the plaza where we stopped ta rest for a bit, we were ambushed by some dramatic bloke wearing a fancy cape and mask who started spouting some nonsense when the lad's pokémon began trainin’ its Confusion.”

‘Who the fuck would willingly put a costume and start ambushing people for a battle?’ I wonder for a moment before remembering who exactly I travel with.

‘Never mind, there's always a crazy bastard for every scenario.’

Shaking my head at the multitude of problems  caused by my friend's antics as she goes on about battling the guy's Duskull and both of their pokémon evolving mid fight, I distractedly nod along with her explanation as I notice that Rhitta has fallen asleep and recall her.

Just because I'm willing to carry those two and my backpack doesn't mean I want to carry the added weight all the time.

Even more so because I'm not in the mood to discover that I'm unable to sleep due to back pain in the middle of the night.

“…Then this wifey comes along all radge, screaming aboot her son or some shit and the bloke starts running away from us as if a raging Gyarados were after him! The worst part is that both me and the lad then got dragged along to the woman's mansion, accidentally discovering that the masked bloke was her son all along!” Sasha rants incredulously, moving her hands all over the place to emphasize it all before turning to me with a look as if to say ‘Ain't that crazy?!’.

What.

“What.”

“Exactly! Turns out that because she didn't let him be a coordinator or have a pokémon, he began going out to train in secret with his Duskull. After all that, the wee lad went all serious and proceeded to give the bloke's mother a motivational speech so convincing to let him go that it even got me tearin’ up.” She finishes the lore dump with a pair of wet eyes at the memory.

I just stare in silence at the teen with a blank face, soaking all the information that she just dropped on me and promptly throw them away.

‘Fuck it. Next time one of her pokémon evolves when I'm not around I'll simply give a nod of acknowledgment and ignore how it happened for as long as it takes.’ I quietly promise to myself with a groan as Sasha goes on how Timmy ’s mom reluctantly agreed and had him promise that he’d keep studying hard if he wanted to take on contests.

…

Wait.

Is that an Absol?

______________

18:47

Yes. It was, in fact, an Absol.

*Kathoom!*

“Look, I'm not saying that I told you so…” I start with a nonchalant tone as the tropical storm gets even worse.

“Dontcha say it!” Sasha hisses back from her tent a little farther away where we took cover from the rain under an old tree.

“...But I fucking called it!” I shout at the idiot whose first thought process at spotting the Disaster Pokémon clearly blocking our path was to try battling it because it looked strong.

When the white furred creature bolted for the vegetation at the galarian's challenge and disappeared in a blur, my friend got pissed at it for ditching their battle and began chasing it inside the wild patch of dense forest.

Much to my displeasure since I even warned her again and again that this was a stupid idea and we should just have set up camp for the day and heed its warning.

Then I wondered for a few minutes whether I should go after her or let the problematic girl return on her own. 

Unfortunately, the quickly closing weather forced my hand at going after her before she got lost and had no way to find her way out.

30 minutes later with the storm almost in full swing, I find a swearing Sasha holding a frightened Skitty for dear life as she tries to run away from a 5 meters long Seviper chasing them.

All the while also fighting off Grumpy and the Absol to reach its prey at that mind you.

After unfreezing from the spot where I stood in shock as my monkey brain recognized the threat of a pretty fucking big snake about to eat us all if we didn't defeat it, I released Merlin to distract the Seviper with blasts of Confusion and Astonish right in its eyes to momentarily blind it.

Making damn sure of abusing the hell out of Shadow Sneak to make it flinch whenever it tried to poison one of the other two pokémon fighting It or go for a lunge at the other trainer.

The unfortunate part was that our attacks may as well have been light scratches against its scales, with only Absol actually doing some genuine damage that would stick.

Our saving grace was said pokémon coming in clutch when it seemed that Grumpy was about to get bitten and knocked the fuck out of the snake with a Night Slash aimed right below its left eye. Succeeding at cutting off one of the viper’s fangs and carving a long wound along its cheek.

After that we ended up following our guide to somewhere safe and set up camp below the biggest tree in the area until the weather gets better. Bringing us to the present, where Sasha is resisting the temptation of petting the sleeping Skitty.

“Sol.” The living disaster detector deadpans at our bickering, shifting its body to face us while I try to dry its drenched fur with a towel.

“Keep still fucker, or do you want to spend the entire night cold in this weather?” I drily ask the wet Absol as I all but forcibly make it lay on its side for me to continue my job.

It slowly raises a paw to smack me for the abrupt action, but when its red eyes shift to the curiously staring Rhitta who suddenly approaches us the Absol immediately lowers its paw back down in fear.

*Snort*

“Don't tell me you are scared of her?” I ask incredulously as I boop the Stufful on the nose before throwing a rubber ball for her to play, watching with a smile as she squeals a high pitched ‘Stuff!’ while fumbling around with the toy.

“See? My sweetpea here wouldn't harm anyo–”

*CRACK!* 

Said sweetpea accidentally shatters one of the old tree’s roots, which are thick enough to fit a grown ass man inside and still have enough space left to move.

*Groan* Echoes the sound of the entire tree tilting sideways as one of its destroyed main support gives in under the pressure. 

…

The judgemental stare that I receive from the wide eyed Absol is swiftly ignored by me focusing on finishing the task at hand.

“Absol.” It growls with an unimpressed face, staring here and there as the pink cub plays with her rubber ball.

“Don't be such a baby, shattered bones grow back~” I tease the skeptical looking Absol with a laugh, taking a moment to tell the young pokémon not to wander off into the rain.

The clear message of ‘No, they fucking don't.’ on the white furred creature's expression is quick to appear at my dismissal of the possible injury happening. But it eventually relents and lets me dry it off without much fuss.

'Speaking of drying, where the fuck is the damn fire Sasha said she'd set up?'

“Oi! Are you going to set up the bonfire or are you gonna keep fussing over the sleeping cat until we freeze!?”

“Ah'm tryin’! Not me fault the bloody thing dinnae lit up with this fuckin’ wind!” The galarian yells back as she orders Vevee to set the coals on fire again.

“Why haven't you tried asking Grumpy to block it with her wings then you moron?! Nanachi, please go help them or else we're fucked.” I plead to my faithful Noibat who fortunately gives me an adorably serious nod and runs off to help the other three.

Absol’s grumblings of what feels oddly similar to ‘I’m surrounded by idiots’ quickly stop when I threateningly twist the utterly drenched towel in my hands into a spring ready to smack It.

“You were saying?”

“Sol…”

“Yeah, that's what I thought.”

______________

10:32

The first thing I noticed this morning was the absence of the Absol, which I took as a good sign since there must be no need for it to be around anymore given that the storm has given way to just a constant downpour.

I don't know if It dipped while the rain briefly stopped or if It just wanted to be an edgelord somewhere else and left in the middle of the night. But whatever the reason was, I don't really care anymore since I did all I could to keep it warm after the help dealing with the Seviper.

My mood may as well be in the trash at this point, and not because of the tropical storm mind you. 

But because Rhitta and Nanachi kept fighting over who would sleep under the comfort of my blanket and took each of my arms for themselves for the night, making me almost die of dehydration due to their fur warming me up way too much.

If I left the tent's zipper open, the cold wind outside would make me start shivering. If I let it closed then it got way too hot and I wasn't able to sleep properly due to the constant sweat.

Needless to say that I woke up at 07:00 a tad more irritated and tired than normal, having to ask Sasha to watch over the two while I actually slept a couple hours more before we left.

Then after having a refreshing nap, we all prepared some quick breakfast for the return trip to the main route and started putting away our little camp by the time half of our team was comatose from how much they ate.

Artoria, unsurprisingly enough, joined Vevee in some kind of eating competition and managed to burn through one fifth of our food stock without either of us noticing.

My urge to strangle the bloated bugs by the neck was tampered by the lack of neck in said bug types. Although the fact that if I tried to shake them too much and they end up puking it all back on me was also a strong factor.

So I'll have settle with simply cutting off her snack supply and putting that gluttonous Sewaddle on a fucking diet. I won't give a single one of them, regardless of how much she tries to give me the kicked puppy look.

Anyways, after convincing Nanachi to enter her ball due to the rain and recalling everyone but my pink menace who had already settled inside one of my coat's pockets. We finally decided to address the feline shaped problem in our hands.

Given that the cat already had a collar with a golden plaque written ‘Betty’ around her neck, it was pretty easy to tell that the Skitty is already registered as someone else's pokémon and Sasha can't have it as her own kitty…

…

‘Wait, that's the pun? God, I feel so fucking dumb to only realize it now.’ I loudly groan to myself, opening my umbrella and waving off Sasha's questioning glance from my side where she is fussing over her pokédex's map.

Awful puns aside. Not only did Sasha get traumatized with ‘Espeons’ for the rest of her life, but the first normal cat she finds in the wild isn't catchable. So you can probably imagine how much grumbling I'm forced to hear from the other girl as she has to carry it all the way back to civilization.

“Did you discover which direction we have to follow to return yet?”

“Aye, just have tae go north ‘n we'll be right on track again.”

“Thank goodness, I thought I’d have to pick a random direction and hope it's the right one again…”

*Snort*

“Ya got a bad sense of direction?” Sasha amusedly asks while putting away the device and opening her orange umbrella. Meanwhile the Skitty wastes no time in making herself comfortable inside the galarian's bag for the rest of the trip.

“Bad is a strong word, I would say ‘easily distracted from the main path’. There was this Gardevoir saying that I had to follow… uh, east I think, to reach Oldale. And by the time she teleported me back to the main route I had already forgotten which direction I had to go.” I hesitantly say, trying not to wince at the memory of screwing up a simple instruction that badly.

“Given that I met ya in Petalburg then it’s good ta say that you picked the wrong one?” She pokes at me with a very punchable face.

“Screw off, it was just a bad day that's all.” I grumble before stomping off to the north and ignore the Cheshire grin she is giving me.

Pftt, there's no way I’m that ba–

“North is in the opposite direction~!” Sasha cheerfully shouts from behind me before breaking down in laughter.

"Fuck!"