Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The rain beat against the glass of the windows, filling the apartment with the strange yellow light of the storm. It was peaceful, the sound of the rain soporific as Merlin worked. He sat at their dining table, books and papers spread out across infront of him. He had been working since the morning, and with his headphones on he was lost to the world around him. He always worked best when it rained, when the world suddenly felt a whole lot less urban. He got so lost in his studies, sometimes it felt like he had been there, like he had lived through it all. Sometimes it was hard to disconnect, when he had first started his masters he’d been plagued by dreams, some he could have sworn felt like memories, but now they came and went, like some great wrong had been amended.
He didn’t hear when the door opened, nor did he hear his name called, or the kettle boiled. He did notice when a cup of green tea was placed before him, almost jumping out of his skin. Hastily he pulled his headphones off, turning to the man behind him.

“Thank you, how was work?”

“Oh don’t even, I was stuck in meetings all day. It gets to the point where every corporate speech just sounds the same.”

Merlin smiled, then picked up his mug.

“At some point you really ought to start listening to people.”

Arthur looked affronted, “I do listen
Mer-lin, they’re just boring! Especially not with this rain. It’s not like you listen to me, have you moved at all today? Did you eat lunch?”

Merlin rolled his eyes, then gestures towards the empty plate that had been shoved towards the end of the table.

“Yes mum, I’m not that useless.” He absolutely would have forgotten to eat, had Gwaine not set an alarm on his phone to remind him when he studied. It was embarrassing but it was surprisingly effective.

“What do you want for dinner? There’s salmon.”

“If you’d check your phone for once in your life you would see that we’re going out.”

“Why? I have not got the money to keep eating out!”
“Do you need a reason to spend time with your friends? You can’t just sit and study forever you nerd, you will actually go mad.”

Arthur pointed out, before reaching over and closing Merlin’s laptop. “You’ve done enough for today.”

Arthur was right, his eyes stung from squinting at text all day and his neck and back ached from his awkward hunch. “Have you heard anything from Gwaine?”

“Have you?”

That was a valid point, he grabbed his phone from where it sat to the side of his work and thumbed through it. The group chat had been active, planning what had clearly turned into dinner out. “He said he’d be home in an hour… 23 minutes ago.”

Arthur nodded and turned away, walking towards the hall. “I’m gonna shower, I reckon you should too.”

“Is this you telling me I stink?”

“Yes.”

Merlin couldn’t deny that the shower felt good, his back did ache from sitting hunched over all day and the warm water washed the stiffness away.
He didn’t have much of a skin care routine, but being friends with Arthur and through him, friends with Morgana had shown him just how good it felt to put a little bit of effort in… and he looked better for it.
She had bought him a diffuser for his birthday and even Gwaine had been using it with how well it worked.
He made sure to pay attention to his top surgery scars, rubbing oil onto them. They didn’t hurt, they hadn’t done for years, but sometimes the stiffness was uncomfortable.
He heard the front door close and the familiar sound of Gwaine and Arthur talking, and he pulled his sweatpants and shirt back on before he came out.

Gwaine smiled when he saw him, reaching out for him to come and hug him.

“Hey handsome, Arthur was just saying how hard you were working.”

Merlin pressed against his chest, smiling at the kiss pressed to the top of his head.

“And what a nerd you are.” Arthur huffed, but he couldn’t help but smile at the two. They were his closest friends. He’d never admit it, but they knew. They knew how much he cared for them.

“I’m not a nerd!” Merlin protested, but even Gwaine shook his head.

“No, you are. You’re getting a degree in sorcery, that’s pretty nerdy.”

Merlin pushed away from his boyfriend and huffed as he folded his arms, “I am going to get dressed if you’re going to be so mean to me.”

Gwaine laughed at him, and followed his boyfriend back to his room, not letting him get the chance to slip away without saying hello properly.

Merlin shut his bedroom door, before turning to Gwaine with a warm smile. It was one only reserved for moments like these, soft and loving. His eyes sparkled, bright with love for his boyfriend. Sometimes he looked at Arthur like this, in quiet moments when they were being nice to each other, and Gwaine found that as much as it should make him jealous, he didn’t mind. It was no secret how devoted Merlin was to Arthur, they’d been friends since 6th form and they’d stuck together ever since. Gwaine knew he could never take Merlin away from Arthur, not really. But he didn’t want to. Arthur was not a threat to their relationship, Merlin loved him but he also loved Gwaine and he knew that no matter what, all Merlin needed was to be Arthur’s friend.
Besides, he wouldn’t look at him like this, as if he was the very image of love itself, if he wasn’t infatuated.

“How was work?” Merlin’s voice was a whisper, pale hands coming up to rest on Gwaine’s shoulders as he looked up at him.
Gwaine’s found their place at Merlin’s hips in response and he smiled, warm and gentle.

“It was alright, boring, but I didn’t want to distract you so I ended up reading the poetry I bought you.”

Merlin’s forehead creased, a line appearing between his eyebrows. He wasn’t any good at hiding his emotions and Gwaine couldn’t help but laugh at him and his worry, “don’t apologise for it, your sorcery is far more important than helping me avoid doing my job. Besides, the poems were wonderful.”

He’d bought Merlin a copy of a book of mediaeval poetry that he’d been wanting, but his university’s library didn’t have in stock yet. Of course he’d immediately spent hours pouring over it, adding sticky notes full of analysis by his favourite ones. Gwaine had taken it to work with him and had found himself thoroughly enjoying them… and Merlin’s thoughts, they made them even better. The crease disappeared and Merlin stretched up to kiss him, fingers tangling themselves in Gwaine’s hair.
When they parted, he couldn’t stop himself from dragging Merlin into his chest and squeezing him until he giggled, arms wrapping around his neck.

“Did you miss me?” Merlin’s voice was playful as he clung to him, very clearly not wanting him to let go.

“Of course not, I’m a dastardly playboy, don’t ruin my reputation.”

That made Merlin laugh openly and Gwaine laughed too, dragging him over to the bed and flopping down with him still in his arms. He loved him, madly. Everything about him was perfect and adorable and it made his chest feel tight with how much he loved him.

“Oh yeah you’re such a playboy, year long committed relationship with an apartment you moved into… you’re such a free spirit.”

Gwaine smacked his thigh, before rolling them over so he was pinning Merlin down, holding himself up above his boyfriend.

“I love you.”

Merlin stared up at his boyfriend, that same dopey smile plastered across his face as blue eyes fixed on brown.

“I love you so much.”

Gwaine was everything he could need, he loved him so much that it hurt. The day they met he had fallen head over heels and he could still hardly believe that two years later they were in a happy committed relationship. He hadn’t seen what Gwaine could possibly see him in at first but Gwaine had been so caring, so loving, that Merlin truly believed he loved him for him… and for the first time in his life he felt like he deserved to be loved.
He had had top surgery before they’d met, and he’d been on T for long enough that his voice had dropped and his figure had certainly become more masculine, but he knew he didn’t pass as fully cis, not when they’d met at least. But Gwaine had treated him with complete respect. He had never misgendered him, never invalidated his identity in any way, and had been so careful to check with anything that Merlin was ok with it and that it didn’t make him uncomfortable. His complete respect had given Merlin a new found confidence in his identity and it had been noticeable just how much he had blossomed since meeting Gwaine. It wasn’t like his friends didn’t respect his identity, they had all treated him with just the same amount of respect and he knew they all saw him as a man… and he wasn’t sure they all even knew he was trans, but it had been special coming from Gwaine. His body had continued to change as they’d known each other, and as they’d been with each other. It was odd, seeing himself change as if he was going through puberty again, but Gwaine had continually shown him just how handsome he was and just how perfect he was and he couldn’t help but love himself.
When Gwaine kissed him his hands found their way up his shirt, one bunching up the fabric and the other gripping his waist.
His skin was warm and soft and Merlin wanted to feel his chest against him.
He pushed his boyfriend back a little, breaking the kiss as he tugged at the hem of his T-shirt, awkwardly trying to take it off without fully letting go of Gwaine. It was one of Arthur’s, one he’d stolen throughout the years and it had quickly become his favourite.
Gwaine helped him pull it off, then yanked his own off too, discarding them on the floor next to the bed.

“We‘ve got an hour before we have to go out.” He traced a finger along the scars on Merlin’s chest, letting his boyfriend set the pace.

“Can we cuddle?” His voice was shaky and Gwaine quirked an eyebrow as he looked up at him. Merlin’s cheeks were flushed pink

“You alright sweetheart?” He stopped what he was doing with his finger, laying his hand flat against his torso.

“Yes, yeah, testosterone just doing its thing. Sorry.”

“Don’t apologise,” he shifted so he was lying on his side next to him, an arm wrapping around his waist. “I won’t touch your chest if it’s too sensitive.”

Merlin pressed back against him, keen to be enveloped by the warmth of his arms, ignoring how the press of their hips together made his heart jump. Testosterone was a great thing, it made him into the person he had always been but it also made him almost constantly horny and sometimes, the slightest touch was enough to send his body into overdrive. He didn’t mind it too much, but it was annoying when he wasn’t actually horny and yet his body insisted on it.

“You can touch, it’s just when you’re gentle like that, sends my brain into stupid teenage boy mode.”

Gwaine laughed, nuzzling his nose against Merlin’s cheek.
“When I was 16 a fly brushed against my lip and I got a boner.”

Merlin’s laugh was bright and he covered his hand with his own.

“Seriously? When I first started T and first had bottom growth I couldn’t wear a certain pair of jeans cause the seam was too tight that it just made me so horny I couldn’t think.”

Gwaine snorted at that, he hadn’t seen all that many photos of teenage Merlin, only a few of him and Arthur in year 12. His hair had been a lot shorter and his ears seemed to stick out even more. His smile was always wide and his sharp cheekbones were hidden by round cheeks. He had a gap between his two front teeth and Gwaine always thought he was unbearably cute in all of the photos. There was one particular picture of Merlin and Arthur at a party just after their A-levels, dressed as a knight and his servant where they were both beaming at the camera, Arthur with his arm around Merlin’s shoulders and his hair was so long that it touched his shoulders, while Merlin’s was so short it looked almost like someone had gone at him with clippers in the night. It was stuck to the fridge along with a couple other photos of them and their friends and Gwaine loved it.
They stayed there until Arthur banged on the door to tell them to get ready to go and reluctantly Gwaine released his boyfriend. He did need to change and do his hair and unfortunately for his roommates, he did take a long time to get ready.

They were 10 minutes late by the time they finally left the house, Merlin texting apologies as they walked down to the bus stop. He looked beautiful, wearing a pair of high waisted green trousers and Gwaine’s cream T-shirt. The trousers accentuated his waist and Gwaine wanted nothing more than to hold it and hold him close, but he restrained himself and instead shoved Arthur with his shoulder as they walked.

“So, Princess, you got any weekend plans?”

Arthur shoved him back, “why, you trying to get me out of my flat?”

Gwaine held his hands up at the accusation, briefly glancing over at where Merlin walked ahead of them.

“No…. Just trying to be a good friend, honestly Princess, why so feisty?”

Arthur rolled his eyes at him, but didn’t shove him again. “I have dinner with my father and Morgana tomorrow, but other than that nothing. Although…”

he hesitated, glancing over at Gwaine before looking ahead at Merlin. “I was thinking of taking Merlin to a museum on Sunday, it’s two hours drive from here so it’ll probably be a day thing. Obviously you can come if you want, it’s free entry.”

Gwaine smiled, slinging an arm around Arthur’s shoulders and mussing his hair. He knew how desperately dull Arthur found museums,

“As much as I’d love to, I’m working all day Sunday. But I’ll do dinner if you want, save eating out.”

Arthur wriggled out of his grip as they stopped at the bus stop and instead grabbed Merlin, wrapping himself around his chest, trapping his arms against him so he couldn’t escape.

“I’m taking you to a museum on Sunday and Gwaine will do dinner for us. Sound good?”

Merlin didn’t fight him, leaning back against him as he tilted his head back.

“You? Museum? What do you want from me.”

Arthur scowled and spun him around.

“How dare you suggest that I would only do something nice for you because I want something, 7 years of friendship and this is what you think of me?”

Merlin giggled as he was spun, wriggling in Arthur’s arms. “Stop! Arthur no!”

He was saved by their bus pulling up and he darted to the safety of Gwaine’s side.

Merlin insisted they sat at the back, squishing himself between the two.

“You’re serious about wanting to go to a museum with me?”

Arthur elbowed him in the ribs, “yes you dolt, I’m serious. There’s a new exhibit on the evolution of mythology in the U.K. and I thought you’d like it.”

The look Merlin gave him was worth everything. Eyes wide, mouth half open and lips curling upwards.

“Arthur- that’s incredible, I’d love to go.”

Arthur loved Merlin, of course he did. They’d been friends for 7 years, they’d been through ups and downs together, relationships, friendships, family problems.
He liked making him smile, that big dopey grin warmed his heart and when he looked at him like this… like he was the sun itself, he couldn’t not love him.
Merlin was his best friend, that was just the objective truth and he couldn’t imagine life without him. When they’d been younger their friends had joked that it wouldn’t be long until they were married but Arthur had always ignored them. They basically lived a married life already. Merlin didn’t make enough money to cover the rent and so Arthur paid it for him, in return he did the cooking and cleaning as useless as he was at it, and their lives fitted together. Even with Gwaine in the mix, things just worked.
Sometimes Merlin irritated him to no end and sometimes he wanted to hold him and never let go. As much as he teased him about his degree and his interests, he loved hearing him talk. He loved his passion, loved his genuine care for everything he researched, museums were awfully dull but Merlin made them electric. The way he poured over every detail, explained to Arthur why everything was so inreresting, he had to tease him for it else he’d get big headed with how fascinating Arthur found it. He didn’t need any more validation for his achievements. (He deserved the world for them but it was Arthur’s duty to tease him.)

“I mean, somebody ought to go with you. We can’t have you there looking like you’ve got no friends.”

“Dick.” Merlin says.

Merlin shoved past them both as the bus stopped, muttering to himself about how cruel they both were to him, but neither of them missed the way he looked back, making sure they were following.

“Ah he’s so cute.”

Arthur rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t help but agree. Merlin was, frankly, quite cute, especially when he wasn’t being insufferable.

Inside the pub, their friends had gathered around the biggest table they could find, and there were loud greetings from everyone as they came over.
Merlin placed himself between Lancelot and Gwen, falling into discussion about something almost instantly, while Gwaine and Arthur squeezed in between everyone else. They’d all end up swapping places soon enough anyway.

Lancelot and Merlin were ridiculously good friends, he and Gwaine were the only ones in the group that had been introduced by Merlin, everyone else had known Arthur previously. They had met in uni, Lancelot was in his third year studying linguistics and they’d just happened to bump into each other in the library looking for the same book on mediaeval English. Merlin had been studying Paramedic science when they’d met, but he’d been fascinated by history for a very long time and had been studying it in his free time.
They’d become best friends very quickly and Lancelot had briefly lived in their third year flat while he’d been sorting out a place to settle down.
He was a very lovely man, his family was Chilean but he’d grown up in France, only coming to England to study. He spoke French, Spanish and English fluently and could read Latin, so his interest in language and linguistics had started young.
He worked now teaching languages at a local secondary school and he loved it, he cared so much about the kids and their education and it was clear just how dedicated he was to the job.

Gwen had been in 6th form with Arthur and Merlin too, in the year above with Morgana. She and Merlin had met before he had become friends with Arthur and she had been the first one he’d come out to. He had joined the 6th form as Merlin, but he was only a month on T, hadn’t had top surgery and his voice hadn’t started to drop. It wasn’t hard to tell he was trans, but he wasn’t open about it. They had become friends quickly and had formed a little group for the year they were there together and they hadn’t lost touch when the two girls had gone to uni. Elyan was two years older than his sister, but was back for most weekends and holidays and so their group had come together.
Leon had know Arthur and Morgana all their lives, their families had been friends and he had been 5 when Arthur was born and they’d stayed friends. He’d always been his older brother figure, and Arthur honestly considered him as such.

The rest of them had simply fallen together over the years.

The night was fun, Merlin ended up between Gwaine and Arthur, just like he always did. He was pressed into his boyfriends side, tucked under his arm as he talked excitedly about something to Percival who was on Gwaine’s other side. Gwaine wasn’t particularly listening to them, or to anyone. Arthur had been talking at him for a little while, but had moved on when Leon had mentioned something about football. He was just enjoying being with his friends, being together. Before he’d met Merlin he hadn’t particularly known that many people, he was new to the area, new to his job and meeting people just didn’t happen as easily as it had done when he was in university, and frankly he’d been lonely. But that had changed and he couldn’t be more grateful for the man he got to call his.
That same man twisted in his arms, awkwardly turning to his boyfriend.

“I think we should head off, my shift starts at 6.” It was only 10 now, but by the time they’d get home it would most likely be 11, what with saying goodbye and waiting for the bus, and Merlin needed a good nights sleep before work. It was easy to forget sometimes that he was an actual paramedic, and that he worked a normal job. 4 shifts a week left him with only 3 days to himself, two of which he had lectures and the third he would spend studying. It was undeniable that he did too much, but he genuinely seemed to love it. He was not the sort of person who could function with time to himself. The worst part was the fact that every Wednesday he worked the night shift, 6pm-6am, which seemed to always overrun until about 7 or 8, and would then go straight from the ambulance station to the university campus in time for a morning lecture. Both Gwaine and Arthur insisted it was a bad idea, but Merlin didn’t see the issue. His stubbornness and determination pissed Gwaine off sometimes but he loved him for it, madly so.

“I’ll tell the princess.”
He leaned over, clapping Arthur on the shoulder.

“We’re going home, you joining us?”

Arthur thought about it for a moment, then shook his head. “I’ll stay. Get home safe.”

They said their goodbyes and left, walking hand in hand down to the bus stop.

“That was fun. I always forget how much I miss everyone.”

Gwaine couldn’t agree more. “We should host something again, that Christmas dinner was great.”
They had proudly hosted the group Christmas celebrations that year, and it had gone surprisingly smoothly. Merlin had cooked most of the food, leaving Gwaine and Arthur to tidy and decorate and shockingly enough, without the two menaces in the kitchen with him, nothing had burnt or been ruined. Everyone else had brought deserts and treats and wine and had even helped clear up before they left.

“Oh yes! Arthur’s birthday is coming up, maybe we should do something for that? I know everyone wants to go out as well, but dinner would be nice.”

“We’d have to get him out of the house, I’m sure Morgana would take him if we made it a surprise?”

Merlin lit up at the idea of a surprise party, turning to face him. “Oh yes! Oh a surprise party would be so much fun. I have no idea what to get him as a present though, I feel like I’ve known him too long, I’ve given him everything he likes.”

Gwaine reached out with the hand not intertwined with Merlin’s and ruffled his boyfriends dark curls.

“You’re too nice to him, seven years with anyone and at that point they’re lucky if they get a happy birthday from me.”

Merlin rolled his eyes, swatting at his hand. “Some of us aren’t cool enough to just turn up and have people be grateful.”

Gwaine laughed, pressing a hand against his chest.

“You saying I’m just that attractive? Thank you Merlin, I guess I know not to give you anything from now on.”

“Oh shut up, you are, but don’t you dare just rely on being sexy for Arthur’s birthday.”

“Why not? You worried he might fall in love with me? I wouldn’t blame him.”

Merlin rolled his eyes and released his hand just long enough to free his bus pass.

“The amount of flirting you do with him, I wouldn’t be surprised if he did.”

Gwaine got his own out too, then took Merlin’s hand again, interlocking their fingers and using it to pull him close.

“Does it makes you jealous? When I flirt with him?” He nuzzled the hair above his ear, his breath warm against his skin.

Merlin shivered, pressing instinctively against him.

“No, not when it’s him.”

Gwaine was undeniably ridiculously hot, without trying to be. He was beautiful, strong, and generally charming. Merlin had been won over instantly and he knew that most people were, it was hard not to be. He was considerate, loving and kind and he was just irresistible. He was a huge flirt, but that was just how he acted, there was never any genuine intention behind it, he was just a flirtatious guy. Merlin didn’t mind it, not at all. He knew Gwaine would never flirt with someone who wasn’t one of their friends in a way that had any sort of meaning, he had shown Merlin many times just how devoted to him he was, and he trusted him completely.
It was entertaining seeing Arthur and Gwaine interacting, everything Gwaine did seemed to annoy Arthur, and everything Arthur did amused Gwaine. They wound each other up to no end but it was always friendly, they couldn’t really be mad at each other. As much as they denied it, they were good friends.
But sometimes…
Sometimes when Gwaine teased Arthur, and Arthur was bitching in the way he often did, there was… more… than just friendship in the way that Gwaine threatened to shut him up.
It wasn’t often that moments like that occurred, and they were gone in a blink of an eye, but Merlin… Merlin saw them.
Sometimes he thought he was just reaching for something that wasn’t there, his crush on Arthur was at this point humiliating and he was pretty sure he was finally over him, but sometimes he caught himself staring just a little too long.
It made him so guilty, like he was somehow betraying Gwaine. It wasn’t like the man didn’t know, he still teased him for being hung up on his roommate and he was clear that he knew it didn’t change how Merlin felt for him or their relationship, but Merlin couldn’t help but hate himself a little for it. It wasn’t even that he wanted anything, he didn’t want a relationship, he just wanted to keep Arthur in his life, but the fact that he cared so much for him made him feel so stupid, so shameful. He had a loving boyfriend, what was wrong with him that he couldn’t just be a normal friend?
It had never been a secret that Merlin was hopelessly head over heels for Arthur and at first, Gwaine had frankly struggled to see it.
Then he’d gotten to know him.
Then he’d completely understood.
Arthur was, as Merlin often called him, a royal prat. He was full of himself and very, very annoying, and anyone could tell from a mile away that he’d grown up rich.
But he was handsome, there was a certain charm about him, Gwaine personally thought it was all his teeth. His snaggle toothed smile, his real smile, not the snide one he gave when he was being a general arse.

He did care about his friends though, he was a fiercely protective, no one was allowed to fuck with the people he cared about. It was impressive, just how passionately he cared, he’d almost started more fights than Gwaine.

“Not him hm?” He bit very gently at Merlin’s ear lobe, tugging at it before pulling completely away from him as their bus pulled up.
The way his breathing hitched sent tingles down his spine and he dragged him down into a set of seats once they’d paid.

“You like it when I flirt with him? He is very pretty…” he kept his voice low, a teasing whisper as his boyfriend stared at him, eyes wide.
Merlin swallowed hard, staring at him before he nodded.

“Yes.” He wasn’t sure whether he was answering or agreeing.

Gwaine took it as both.

“I can’t imagine what he’d be like in bed, probably just as much of a brat as he normally is. I wouldn’t mind getting him to finally shut up.”

He seemed to have actually broken Merlin, and that spurred him on even more…
So much for an early night.

“He thinks he’s so cool, I bet I could have him squirming, begging me for it… imagine him begging sweetheart, using his manners for once.”

Thank the fucking lord this wasn’t a long bus ride, Gwaine could feel himself start to sweat a little. Now that he was thinking about it… he couldn’t really stop. When he’d first become good friends with them he’d certainly had a bit of a go with Arthur, but he’d ceased his attempts to come onto him when he’d realised just how hung up Merlin was on him… and how pretty Merlin himself was.

It felt like an eternity by the time they got off the bus, but it had only been a matter of minutes, and Gwaine wasted no time in grabbing Merlin’s wrist and dragging him back into the apartment.
Before he’d even finished shutting the door he had his boyfriend against the wall, Merlin’s arms wrapped around his neck as he kissed him hungrily.
Fuck.
This had ignited something in them both now, a realisation of something that had been there the whole time… In the room next door.
Merlin kicked off his shoes, breaking the kiss long enough to whisper “Bedroom. Now.” before he was kissing him again, his lips crushing.
Gwaine had made the mistake of wearing boots, but he left them on for the minute, instead grabbing Merlin by the waist and picking him up, letting his legs wrap around him.
He threw him down onto the bed, taking the chance to yank off his boots and shirt before he climbed back onto the bed, looking down at him.
Merlin stared back up, pupils blown wide and his pale cheeks flushed pink.

“Pretty boy, I love you.”

He murmured, bending his head to press a gentle kiss to his forehead. The atmosphere was broken briefly, but Merlin’s smile and the way his fingers curled in his belt loops was worth it.

“Tell me what you’d want Arthur to do to you.”

Merlin swallowed hard, the crimson stain riding high on his cheeks now creeping down towards his neck and chest and Gwaine wanted to chase it down, see how just how much he could make him blush.
There was a moment as Merlin thought, and desperately he wanted to be inside his head, see everything he was picturing… he couldn’t doubt it was almost identical to what he himself was imagining.

“I want him to eat me out… make him shut up for once.”

There was a devilish look in his eyes and the idea made Gwaine a little weak. Arthur was, frankly, a brat, and the idea of making him shut up… putting his mouth to good use… well it was inspiring.
Then sly fingers were undoing the button of his jeans, and Gwaine ducked down, pressing kisses up his neck until his lips met the lobe of his ear.

“Then what?” His voice was low and he felt Merlin shiver beneath him, his chest rising and falling beneath his palm.

“Then I want him to fuck me until I can’t think straight.”

Gwaine couldn’t control himself, catching Merlin in a desperate kiss, his hand finally leaving his chest to catch his jaw, hold him in place. Something swelled inside of him at the thought of Arthur with his hands on Merlin, of him getting everything… he wasn’t jealous, not in the slightest, he needed to see it. Well, it was something to discuss.

He kissed him until they were both breathless, Merlin having given up on undoing his jeans in favour of grabbing onto him, one hand tangled in his long hair. Frustratingly, his boyfriend was still very clothed and that needed fixing, immediately.
He had Irish skin, pale and touched with the occasional scattering of freckles, and Gwaine was obsessed with it, obsessed with him. He pulled back so he was between his knees, trailing kisses down his hips and his thighs, hooking a finger on the waistband of his boxers. The ink of his tattoo peeked out from beneath the fabric and Gwaine kissed it, before pulling his boxers off and discarding them.

“Oh my beautiful boy…”

Merlin had propped himself up on his elbows and was watching him lazily, his hand still tangled in his hair. He used it to tilt his boyfriends face towards him, twisting in the way that stung just now Gwaine liked it.

“I want to see him on his knees.”

The image of Arthur knelt before him, strong hands on pale thighs, blonde hair brushing soft skin, it sent something through them both. Merlin at the idea of having Arthur under his control, and Gwaine at watching him fall apart under Arthur’s wicked tongue. Oh what a sight.

The second time they’d slept together, Merlin had admitted how rarely queer man offered oral, tending to pretend he was cis and stick to penetration, rather than offering different pleasure, to which Gwaine had promptly offered to show him what he was missing. Making his partner feel good was the most important element of sex, far more so than his own release. More than once he had cum simply from getting Merlin off and he had no shame in it. He liked doing a good job.
Merlin had both legs hooked over his shoulders as Gwaine knelt beside the bed, one arm supporting him enough that he could watch and the other holding him close, keeping his head firmly between his thighs.

His beard scratched against pale, sensitive skin, the skin blooming pink as Gwaine bit at the soft meat of his thighs. He liked to mark him, liked to bruise him and own him and show the world that Merlin was his. Not that he was allowed to leave marks anywhere visible of course, not with his job.

He bit and licked up his inner thighs setting Merlin’s whole body alight with prickling want as he explored him, before his mouth was exactly where Merlin wanted it and he threw his head back with a low moan.

Gwaine’s tongue was deft with experience as he fucked him thoroughly, two fingers slipping up to work alongside his mouth, curling and spreading and matching the pace of his mouth. He knew what Merlin liked, knew exactly how to get his boyfriend twitching and whining underneath him, knew how to pull those pretty noises from his pink lips, and more importantly he knew exactly how to make him come.

Merlin’s hips were jerking, grinding sloppily up against his face as his thighs clenched around his shoulders, the ball of his heels digging into the muscle of his back as his back arched back against the pillows, fingers tightening in brown curls.

Merlin cried out as he came and Gwaine didn’t stop, instead continuing to work him through waves of pleasure and stimulation, drinking him in as he soaked his beard.

They were both two tired for sex, but as Merlin pulled Gwaine up onto the bed, their mouths colliding in a desperate needy kiss and his hand snaked down to his boyfriend’s jeans, he couldn’t complain about that.

The taste of himself on Gwaine’s lips should have been a turn off, but Merlin found himself licking into his mouth instead, their tongues dancing as he keened against him.

One hand clumsily undid the button of Gwaine’s jeans, not bothering to push them down as he freed him from his boxers.

Even with the amount of precum he’d leaked into his boxers, it was still too dry and for a moment Merlin weighed up the reward of getting lube out of the drawer against having to stop kissing Gwaine for a moment before he decided instead to swipe a hand through the wetness between his own legs.

He wrapped his hand back around Gwaine, hot and wet and sticky and Gwaine groaned - low and desperate - against his lips as he jerked him off, his wrist twisting in exactly the way he knew drove him insane.

“Would you want Arthur to do this?” He gasped into his open mouth. “Touch you like this? Be a good boy and get you off? I- fuck- I want to watch the two of you, watch you make him get you off, then watch you ruin him.”

As much as Merlin wanted Arthur underneath him (or ontop of him, he really didn’t mind), there was a frantic need to see Gwaine and Arthur together, to watch his boyfriend fuck his best friend senseless. He didn’t even need to be involved, he just wanted to watch, just needed to see it happen.

It didn’t take much more before Gwaine was spilling over Merlin’s fist, clutching his boyfriend close as they kissed, bodies pressed as close as they could physically get to one another.

—————

The sound of the front door closing and Arthur hanging about in the kitchen stirred them both from the light sleep they’d drifted off into, and Merlin looked up from Gwaine’s chest.

“We need to talk about… that.”
“Agreed.”

“I-“ Merlin’s voice caught in his throat and Gwaine hugged him closer, pepping kisses across his face.
“Sweetheart, if this makes you uncomfortable or upset then we can never talk about it again. I love you, so fucking much.”

“I love you too- so much Gwaine, I just… when… when I think about him I just feel like I’m betraying you.”

Oh poor boy.

“No. No, Merls, Merlin, my handsome boy, you are not betraying me. You and Arthur are soulmates, whatever you want to call it. I know you’re mine, I trust you completely. I know you and I know there’s nothing you can do to stop caring about Arthur. That’s ok. I promise you, from the bottom of my heart, that it is ok.”

Merlin held his gaze, clearly battling something inside before he nodded, “Thank you… I believe you.” And he truthfully did. He trusted Gwaine completely and in that moment he knew that he was truly ok with it.

“So… what… do you want to do?”

Gwaine was quiet for a moment.

“Fuck him, obviously. But…. I don’t know. I don’t know if I would want to date him… what about you?”

“I…. Don’t want to date him. I actually don’t. I want to date you but I also… I also wouldn’t mind sleeping with him.”

As much as Gwaine didn’t care, that sent a swell of relief through him. Merlin was his boyfriend. His.
“And I wouldn’t mind watching you fuck him.”
He groaned, and pulled Merlin in for a kiss. It was gentle this time, soft.

“I love you so much, ok? You should really get some sleep.”

“I love you too… thank you.” He touched their foreheads together, then settled back against him, sleep already pulling him back under.

Chapter Text

His alarm went off at 4 and he felt Gwaine groan and hold him tighter, preventing him from either switching off the alarm or from leaving him.
He considered just going back to sleep and letting the alarm ring but it was really so annoying and he didn’t want to wake Arthur.
He managed to get an arm free and switch it off, smacking at his phone until it shut up.

“I don’t want to go.”

“Yeah you do.”

Gwaine’s voice was a deep rumble, thick with sleep as he reluctantly released Merlin.
He was right, of course. Merlin loved his job.

“Wanna shower with me? I’m still kinda sticky.”

“Mmmph… Gross. Yes, yeah, I’ll join you.”

Merlin sat up, then stretched, a hand instinctively coming up to rub at his top surgery scars. Three years down the line and it was still weird to him that his chest was actually flat. He still found himself hunching over, covering up a chest that wasn’t there. His clothes were still just that little bit too big, his brain hardwired into choosing things that covered his chest enough that it would mask the bump of his binder and make him look flat. Years of self hatred and hiding himself stuck and it was hard to shake it off.
He still got dysphoric over his chest too, he thought he’d be able to escape it but it followed him like a plague, ripping at every part of him. He knew he passed, he knew even cis men did not have completely flat chests but sometimes it haunted him, and he found himself layering up on baggy clothes, smoothing the fabric flat over his torso to hide any sign of flesh. He wasn’t always dysphoric, most of the time he was fine, he barely thought about his transness but some days… apparently like today, it snuck up on him, a bitter swell of self hatred and discomfort that haunted his every move, gave rise to anxiety and just generally ruined his day.
Thankfully, he would be in uniform all day and that gave him quite a masculine figure without having to do anything, it was cut well for his body and very comfortable.

Sometimes he felt guilty for feeling dysphoric, he was so privileged to have been on T for so long, and Arthur had extremely generously organised and paid for his top surgery, refusing to let Merlin say no. He was so lucky to have been able to transition and he hated when he still wasn’t comfortable in himself because there was nothing he could do about it. At least before his transition he had had reason to be so insecure.
He sighed, then stood and checked his phone. A few missed texts from their friends saying Goodnight, a missed call from Will from yesterday…. Shit, he’d call him on his way back from work… or possibly on his lunch break, and a few unimportant emails about upcoming university events. As ever, none for his course but a few for history subjects that he would maybe check out. He did like other areas of the past just… not quite as much.

“I’m going to let the water heat up, if you don’t join me I will assume you’ve gone back to sleep.”

Gwaine looked as if he had passed out already and Merlin couldn’t help but smile at him. He was so lucky to have him.
To his surprise, Gwaine did join him, his arms around Merlin’s waist as he washed his hair, content just to stand under the hot water. He wouldn’t get his hair wet, but he would shower again later when he actually got up. He stayed with him while he got ready, even packing his bag for him with his shirt and some snacks and a flask of tea, before eventually retiring to their room once Merlin had had some breakfast.

“Have a good day my golden boy, ok?”

He murmured against the top of his head. Merlin was standing on the rug next to their bed in his work boots and they both really should have cared but goodbyes were worth too much to worry over a petty matter like shoes.
“Text me at any time, ok? I love you, so much. I’m happy to come pick you up after work if you want.”

“I love you, thank you.”

Moments like this reminded him of just how desperately in love with him he was and he held on a little tighter.

“I’ll text you.”

The job was so unpredictable, shifts could range from helping little old ladies up for a full 12 hours to deeply traumatising emergencies one after the other. It was a difficult job and Gwaine was so ridiculously proud of Merlin for doing it, but it didn’t stop him from worrying. Too many times his boyfriend had returned home and immediately broken down over the horrible things he had to witness and the lives he couldn’t save.

“I love you.”

And then he was gone, rushing off to catch the bus to the ambulance station.
Gwaine slept until Arthur did, woken by the sound of his roommate banging about in the bathroom. It was impressive how loud he was sometimes, like he forgot about the others living there.
He dragged himself out of bed, figuring he could at least make them both some coffee.
Merlin preferred tea, so they quite enjoyed having a cup of coffee together when they could. Sometimes they would chat, sometimes they would simply sit in silence but they would spend that time together at least.
He made two cups, Arthur had splashed out on an expensive coffee machine and Gwaine had actually quite enjoyed being able to use his skills from his days of being a barista. He had taught Arthur how to use it properly, how to pull espresso and how to use the milk as it steamed it automatically for them, and he’d gotten quite good.
As he had turned to put bread into the toaster he head the door of the bathroom open and he simply called coffee down the hall.
Arthur didn’t reply, but he appeared a few minutes later, wrapped in a dressing gown with his wet hair dripping onto his shoulders.
He took his mug with a grumbled thank you, then sat at the kitchen table, bleary eyed.

“Is the princess hungover?” Gwaine was nice to him sometimes.

Arthur nodded, then took a sip of his coffee.

“Someone decided after you left that we should play a drinking game… I don’t even remember what the rules were.”

He chuckled at him and sat down across the table. “I won’t tell anyone if you fancy going back to bed, I’m highly considering it myself.”
Arthur looked for a moment as if he actually was considering it, before shaking his head.

“I can’t. I’ve got to finish up some client emails before dinner.”

“That won’t take you too long, you’ve got… 7 hours before you even need to leave for the restaurant.”
Arthur glanced up at the clock on the wall, “it’s 11:30?“

Gwaine wasn’t whether he was happy or sad about that.

“Indeed it is. When you’ve finished your emails do you wanna do something together?”

Arthur looked at him, then nodded again. “Yeah actually, we do need groceries but I assume you mean do something else.”

“I don’t mind, the park is completely in bloom if you wanted to go walk around the flower garden then get lunch?”

“Sounds good. Ok, give me an hour and we can go?”
Gwaine drained his mug and stood.

“In which case I’m going to shower,” the toast had pinged up while they’d been talking and he gestured towards it.

“You have that, I’ll make more after.”

When they finally left, the sky had cleared and the streets shone in the sunshine. It was a welcome change from the torrential rain the day before and Gwaine was pleased that Merlin wasn’t driving around in the wet and the grey, he always ultimately ended up soaked through and it just made a miserable shift worse. He had texted him when he’d arrived at the hospital, and a photo of him and his partner Freyja with iced coffees in the sun. Merlin preferred tea, but he had a particular soft spot for an oat iced latte and both he and Freyja needed the caffeine for the shift ahead.
Freyja was lovely, Gwaine had only met her once briefly, but Merlin had been her partner for two years now and they worked well together. Their work and personal lives never really crossed over, despite the fact they knew almost everything about each other. Just a strange feature of the job really.

They walked next to one another, discussing rugby, then football, then whatever they thought of. As much as they teased one another, they were extremely close friends. There was a reason Arthur had invited him to move in before Merlin did, he genuinely liked him. It wasn’t often, but they felt safe being vulnerable with one another and that wasn’t something Arthur particularly did, he didn’t like to open up, but Merlin and Gwaine made it easy. He felt safe around them.
When Gwaine slung his arm around his shoulders he didn’t pull away, nor did he try and shove him off. He liked physical touch, far more than he would admit. Before Gwaine had moved in, he and Merlin would cuddle and watch something occasionally, but now Merlin would squish himself in between the two, or drape himself over them both. They’d known each other so long that they would freely use the other as a leg rest, but they didn’t really cuddle, not anymore. Arthur really quite missed it. Maybe he would instigate a little more, he didn’t think Gwaine cared, hell Gwaine had pulled Arthur into his lap the last time they’d had a movie night, sat there with his arms wrapped around him until Arthur had eventually found an excuse to escape. He had felt too awkward to sit back down on him, so had set next to him instead.

The flowers were beautiful. The sun beating upon them had released their fragrance into the air and it was a very welcome change. The colours were brilliant in the sun and they found a bench overlooking it all, content to sit and look for a little while in the warmth.

“I keep thinking about my mother.” Arthur surprised himself, he didn’t like to talk about the things that bothered him, but he wanted to tell Gwaine.

“My birthday’s coming up and I just… I always think of her. I wish I’d known her.”

Gwaine’s hand found his, and he intertwined their fingers.

“Do you feel like it’s your fault?”

Arthur was always a little affronted by Gwaine’s bluntness, but he also respected it.

“Yeah, I know it’s not, I know that. I just can’t help but still thinking that it is.”

The gentle circles being traced on the back of his hand was soothing, Gwaine really did know how to help.

“I get it, sometimes the objective truth doesn’t change anything. When my dad died I blamed myself entirely, still do.”

“I get jealous that Morgana got to be with her and I didn’t, but then I remember that it was only for two years and I feel… guilty about being jealous.”

He had never admitted this, not even to Merlin and he had always told Merlin everything.
Gwaine nodded in understanding.

“You’re allowed to be jealous, she’s your mother, you deserved to have known her. Both of you are grieving but it is different grief, that’s ok.”

“I miss her.”

They sat there in silence for a little while, Gwaine still holding Arthur’s hand and Arthur staring at the flowers until his eyes stopped prickling and he had calmed down a little.

“Thank you, Gwaine.”

That caught his attention and he looked at him, squeezing his hand.

“Anytime Arthur, you know I’m always here for you.”

Arthur screwed up his face at the sound of his first name and the moment was gone.

“No that doesn’t sound right, but for the love of god call me something better than Princess.”

He laughed, shaking his head.

“Absolutely not, you are a princess so I will call you such.”

He couldn’t remember when Gwaine had actually started calling him princess, it’d been very soon after they’d met. He had been.. a little arrogant back then, and he suspected it was to do with that but now it was just a part of him and secretly, he liked it. He was such an affectionate person it had surprised Arthur when he first met him. He’d been worried when Merlin had first admitted he was interested in Gwaine that he’d break his heart, but he realised quickly that he was not that kind of person. He was a loyal and honest person, and his flirtatious nature was no more than affection for the people around him. He loved his friends, and he was such an incredibly devoted boyfriend to Merlin that Arthur couldn’t help but love him just as much. He made bad days better with his terrible jokes and charm.

They went to the park cafe and got some food, Gwaine sending Merlin a couple of photos and promising him they’d come again some time shortly. Merlin replied with a picture of his uniform drenched with what Gwaine could only assume to be blood, which he quickly followed with clarification that no one was actually hurt, it had just been an impressively violent nosebleed.

They sat and chatted for a while, before the conversation eventually drifted to Merlin.

“I hope he likes the museum tomorrow, I wasn’t sure whether it would all be things he’s seen before.”

“Princess you give him anything even remotely mediaeval and he’s excited, I’m sure he’d happily spend hours looking at anything.”

Arthur couldn’t argue with that, unable to keep from smiling at the thought of Merlin’s excitement.

“I’m going to try and get there for opening so we can spend as long as he wants, apparently there’s a side exhibition of weaponry so I feel I might end up there,-“
Gwaine was a little jealous, not that Arthur was going instead of him, that he could not be there with the two of them. They didn’t do enough things as a group outside of the house really, perhaps he’d suggest a trip somewhere, a day out.

“-what time is your shift?”

“10 til 6, so plenty of time to cook.”

Gwaine was a surprisingly good cook. Arthur, was unsurprisingly a terrible one. When Gwaine had moved in, he was better than he had once been according to Merlin, but he still consistently managed to burn most things and his comprehension of kitchen utensils was appalling.
He had been a bartender since university, scoring a job in the college bar in his first year and working his way through places once he’d moved to London. He was skilled and he had a certain flair about him that kept customers coming back. He’d changed places a few times since they’d met, but he’d settled down at a bar more local to them with better pay than some of the previous combined. It was a job so perfectly suited to him but the hours were rough.
When Merlin worked nights it was better, at least the two of them got time together to sleep but when Merlin worked days as Arthur always did, they ended up all coming home at vastly different times and there was almost no chance for any of them to spend any real time with one another.
Realistically it wasn’t an actual problem, Merlin’s lectures meant that there was a little overlap some days, but it was frustrating when they ended up having done no more than exchange greetings in a week.

“I’m working Monday to Friday next week but I was thinking of bringing a coworker out, what days are you working next week? I only want the best of the best serving me.”
Gwaine raised an eyebrow at this.

“You don’t normally take people out for drinks, what’s so special about them?”

“I’m not- no! Not on a date you dick, she’s a relatively new hire and she’s already being considered for a promotion, so I wanted to get to know her a little better first.”

“Sounds like a date. Does she think it’s a date?”

Arthur looked away. “I uh- haven’t actually asked her yet.”

Thankfully, Arthur was saved momentarily from future questions by Gwaine’s phone ringing.

“Hey sunshine, everything alright?”

Ah. Merlin.

“Yeah I’m just on my lunch break, how are you? I hope I’m not interrupting anything?”

“Interrupting? Never. The Princess and I are just out at the cafe in the park. Where are you?”

“I’m just waiting in the ambulance while Freyja goes to the shop, apparently she’s going to surprise me for lunch. I’m not complaining though, free food!”

“Keep me updated. How’s the shift? You alright?”

“Yeah, no big jobs which is nice, mostly just discharging people at home. We’ve only had to actually bring one person back in so far which is nice, saves a lot of wasted time driving… oh shit- I told Will I’d call him… oh well I’ll do it on the way home. He tried to call me yesterday and I completely missed it.”

Will was Merlin’s very best friend. (Arthur… was really something different.) Both born in the same rural Irish hamlet by the name of Ealdor. They’d grown up together almost as brothers.
They travelled to school together, riding on the back of Will’s father’s tractor, they tended the farms together, they helped with the harvest and the lambing and the weaving and the mending, they did everything. Will had been the first person Merlin had come out to when they were kids, and he had forced everyone both at home and at school to respect Merlin for who he was, even if he got hurt for it.
He spoke English fluently, but he used a lot of Irish words in place of English ones as really he preferred to speak Irish. They’d both been raised with Irish as their first language and studied both in school, but Merlin having moved to London had given him that extra boost. They texted constantly, although that had started to decrease as they’d gotten older, instead preferring to call every other day and just chat about anything. Gwaine suspected Will liked Merlin as more than just childhood friends… or at least he had once, they texted occasionally but they only really talked properly when he went back to Ealdor with Merlin to see Hunith. It was a shame really, he liked the man a lot.
Arthur had met Will several times and they seemed to have established a rivalry since before they’d even met. Arthur had quickly announced himself as Merlin’s best friend when they had met and to discover that there was another guy all the way in Ireland? He’d instantly hated him. Will didn’t like him much either, he thought he was stuck up and arrogant and nothing more than a shallow rich bastard, but he’d given up on trying to convince Merlin to move out and come back without him as, just like Gwaine, he had finally been forced to admit just how much he clearly cared for Merlin. That didn’t stop him from snide remarks and judgemental looks and the way Arthur acted in response, Gwaine really couldn’t blame him.
Merlin sometimes talked about moving back to Ireland, settling back in Ealdor or somewhere near enough that he could be home in a heartbeat but still keep some privacy. But his job, his friends, he couldn’t leave them.
Gwaine understood complete. He’d also grown up in rural Ireland, but in a huge mansion to very wealthy parents. He’d been educated in Dublin and they’d lived in their city home during the academic years, returning to their countryside home for the summers and holidays. He’d left the second he was 18 and had finished school, cutting himself off from the family money from university under the guise of “gaining life experience.” He had always despised being rich, hated the kind of people it brought in and the kind of people he was expected to be around. He’d been forced to go back after his degree when his father had fallen ill and help out, but once he had died and he had helped his other and brother move permanently back into the house in Dublin, he’d left again. This time he’d moved to London and then he’d met Merlin, and everything had fallen into place from there.
His mother did send him money occasionally, but it all went immediately into his savings. As much as he didn’t want it, he couldn’t deny that he needed it, especially if he and Merlin were to one day move out and settle down in a proper place of their own.
He did love his family, but he couldn’t bear to be around them more than once or twice a year. He did miss his brother, but he kept up with him online and it was a little heartbreaking to see him turning into the sort of person that Gwaine had always despised.

Sometimes he dreamed of going with Merlin, moving back to Ireland together. He hadn’t been to Ealdor enough he felt but it was beautiful, a proper traditional Irish hamlet and it just made sense why Merlin was who he was.
Hunith was also an incredible woman. She had raised Merlin single handedly while also managing the farm, the farmhouse, and a job. She’d supported him through his transition, moving them to London so he could officially start T and be educated there so he could be around and meet other people like him. She was kind and determined and frankly an all round exceptional person and mother. Merlin was so perfectly her son, it was obvious in anything they did and it was clear just how fiercely they loved each other.
Hunith loved Gwaine too. She treated all of Merlin’s friends as if they were her children, and that meant she saw no problem with putting them to work when it was needed. When Gwaine had last gone up to visit, she’d put both him and Arthur up to fix the barn roof, and rewarded them with a hot cup of tea and an apple cake when they’d come in exhausted and dirty with labour. It was the sort of thing he’d never had the chance to do in his youth and he couldn’t help but love it.

“How is Will?”

“I wouldn’t know, I haven’t had the time to talk to him.”

“Send him my love when you talk to him. Everything alright up there? Or did you just want to chat?”

“I just missed you, but fine I guess I’ll go if you don’t love me…..”

Gwaine laughed, “No! No silly, I was just thinking maybe now would be the perfect time to call Will, but if you haven’t got long left of lunch then I’ll happily talk to you.”

“I’ll do it after, I want to have enough time to properly chat to him, it’s been far too long since we’ve fully caught up.”

They talked for a few minutes more, Gwaine putting him on speaker so Arthur could chat to him too before he exclaimed excitedly as Freyja returned with their lunches.

“I love you both, I’ll see you later!”

Arthur rolled his eyes, but his smile betrayed him. Merlin was so irritatingly cute, and he never got tired of hearing that… I love you. There was something about the way Merlin said it, with complete sincerity. He always knew it was true.

“We’re lucky men, to have him.”

Arthur couldn’t have agreed more.

They took their time coming home, but still had a couple of hours to spare before Arthur had to leave, so after some disagreement on exactly what to watch, they settled down in front of the tv and before they knew it they were pressed against one another in comfortable silence.
Merlin’s shift overran, and he texted apologetically that he wouldn’t be home until later, promising that he’d make it up to Gwaine.

Arthur eventually dragged himself off of the sofa to go get dressed, returning in a beautifully tailored pair of trousers and a crisp linen shirt. His blazer was draped over his forearm, too hot to wear on the way. He looked good in blue, and the quality of his suit was evident. Sometimes it was easy to forget just how incredibly rich the Pendragons were. Uther had paid for both of his children’s degrees and Arthur had paid for Merlin’s despite his instance not to, and he had to be convinced out of buying the flat when they’d moved in under the promise that he could buy a nicer place once Merlin had graduated. He didn’t show off about it, not anymore, but he didn’t like to see others pay. It clearly made him uncomfortable being in such a position of privilege over his friends.
Still, when it came to things like this, expensive suits handmade and tailored exactly to his frame… well…. Gwaine couldn’t complain about it.

“Looking sharp princess. If he starts making you want to rip your hair out anymore than normal just text me, ok? I’ll come get you.”

Arthur smiled at him, and for a moment there was something that Gwaine couldn’t quite read, “thank you.”

Uther was… a difficult man. Igraine, his wife, had died in childbirth, leaving him to raise the children alone. He worked full time, founder and CEO of Camelot Industries, and although he really didn’t need to work as much as he did he buried himself in his job, hiding from his grief. Arthur and Morgana had most certainly been raised in luxury but Uther had always been so busy that they’d never had a dad around for long. Merlin had mentioned once how much it had bothered Arthur when they were teens but neither spoke particularly much about that side of their childhood. Now they were both adults and helping orchestrate the companies he was trying his hardest to maintain positive relationships but it was clear he just wasn’t sure how. Arthur loved him, but sometimes he couldn’t stand to be around him.

“Say hi to Morgana for me.”

Merlin’s shift overran by an hour, then he had to deal with his OTL about some issue so he ended up sticking around for another hour. It wasn’t the worst but also not great. 12 hours was already too long for a shift.

He was home just before 9, kicking his steel capped boots off before stumbling into the kitchen. Gwaine had cooked, and everything was staying warm in the oven, ready for them as soon as Merlin came in. He didn’t get much of a chance to eat on shift, especially not when they went into overtime and he was always starving by the time he made it home.

“Hey you.”

Gwaine’s hands settled on Merlin’s hips and he studied his face a moment, before pulling him into a tight hug.

“Hey yourself sunshine. How was work?”

“Just be glad I showered there, I had blood in my hair.”

There were showers at the ambulance station which Merlin used almost every single shift, sometimes multiple times. There was no other way to keep clean on the ambulance and when things got messy, it wasn’t safe to not.

“Wanna talk about it?”

“Later. What did you make?”

“Lasagne, we had frozen garlic bread too.”

Merlin groaned as he pulled away, “has anyone ever told you how hot you are?”

“Wouldn’t hurt to hear it again.”

Merlin smacked his arm, before getting out the cutlery and water glasses for them both. It was nice when they had the flat to themselves, he loved Arthur but time alone with his boyfriend was more than welcome.

Gwaine recounted his day while Merlin ate, giving him time to decompress after his shift before he talked about it. Sometimes he didn’t, sometimes he did. It was an intense job and sometimes the things he saw he didn’t want to share, and that was ok. Gwaine didn’t mind.
After they ate, Gwaine made his way over to the sofa, picking something out for them to watch while Merlin changed.
He returned in sweatpants and a sweater that was once either Gwaine’s or Arthur’s, at this point neither of them were really sure, and neither could really complain.
He flopped into his boyfriend’s arms, tucking himself under his chin as he snuggled up to him.

“Freyja’s going on holiday next week, going back home for a few days.”

“What are you doing then? Are they crewing you up with someone else or do you think you’ll be on the car?”

Merlin shrugged, nuzzling against Gwaine’s shoulder as he spoke.

“I think I’ll request the car. Everyone on the rota is already crewed up and the one person who isn’t is a massive dick.”

Gwaine frowned, wrapping an arm around Merlin’s chest and tugging his boyfriend closer.

“Are you sure? You always overrun so badly on the car baby, I don’t want you exhausting yourself.”

“I’ll be fine. It’s the job, innit?”

Gwaine couldn’t argue with him. Merlin’s kind heart and stubborn nature were an unstoppable force and as much as he fretted about him, he loved him for it.

lOk darling. Here, you wanna watch this?”

They settled down for an hour or so, watching together in comfortable silence. It was about 10:30 when the front door opened and Arthur entered, joining them in front of the tv as he flopped into the arm chair.

“Dare I ask how dinner was, princess?”

Arthur sighed, reaching up to unbutton the collar of his shirt before he answered.

“Not awful, but if I have to listen to him
spend time talking about how Morgana and I need to make stronger business allies I think I’ll lose my mind… I just don’t care.”

Gwaine smiled sympathetically and Merlin wriggled in his arms so that he could face Arthur.

“I still think you should run away with us and go live on a farm somewhere. No business partners or trade deals out in the countryside.”

That made Arthur smile, and there was something in the way he looked at him. “I’d love to, but I think Morgana would kill me if I left her to be the sole inheritor.”

“I’m sure she’d get over it.”

Arthur raised an eyebrow and Merlin laughed, leaning his head back against Gwaine’s chest. Morgana was a deadly enemy, and she very much held grudges. They’d all been lucky to never experience the extent of her wrath but if Arthur abandoned her… they almost definitely would.

“Ok, maybe she wouldn’t get over it, but you could both sell it off and come join us in a happy farm life… I know a certain Irish hamlet where you’d be welcome.”

Ealdor was a very special place. Not only was it Merlin’s hometown, it was one of the very few places in the Republic of Ireland that only spoke Gaeilge (Irish). A few people spoke English, Merlin’s mother, Hunith, did as well as his childhood friend and a few of the other younger people, but everyone else exclusively spoke Irish.
It was Merlin’s first language, but he’d learnt English fluently as a young child, as all Irish children did.
It was Gwaine’s second language, having been born and raised in Dublin he had learnt English first, but it was taught in all schools in the republic and so he’d picked it up quickly. They spoke it together, when they thought Arthur couldn’t hear them, and it sent something bitter through him, something he didn’t like but couldn’t explain. Arthur had started to learn, in private, when they were younger, but he’d struggled so much that he’d given up, too ashamed to ask Merlin to teach him. When they’d been in school, Merlin had been badly bullied for his accent, so thick then that he could barely be understood, so he’d picked up an English one out of shame, hiding himself away. It had taken them until they’d left 6th form to convince him to be himself, and suddenly he’d come so much more out of his shell. He chatted nonstop and sure, it took a while to understand him completely, but it was worth it to hear his voice.
Arthur had been back to Ealdor with Merlin twice in total. Once immediately after they’d finished their a-levels, he’d spent a week with him exploring the wilderness and helping out. Going back there meant working all the odd jobs that needed strong youngsters and for the first time in his life Arthur Pendragon had been forced to do some real manual labour. He’d helped put up a roof, chop wood, fix a door, mend fences, darn a sock, (which he’d been so terrible at that Hunith had sent him out to help with the livestock instead), and even cook for which he’d only been trusted to do the chopping. He’d loved it, every moment of it. Then he’d been back with Merlin just before they’d graduated, as an escape from their finals, and he’d had to help with the lambing. That… he hadn’t liked so much. It was beautiful to see Merlin in his homeland, speaking Irish, wearing mud splattered clothes, Arthur had been honoured to see this side of his friend.
The only clash had been Arthur and Will.
Will was Merlin’s childhood best friend. They were inseparable and Merlin considered Will a brother. Will thought Arthur was nothing more than a stuck up city prick, and Arthur thought Will was snobbish and rude, and as desperate for them to be friends as Merlin was, they just didn’t get along. So they stayed away from each other, exchanging only a few words when they had to.
Gwaine however, had been to Ealdor with Merlin 6 or 7 times. Arthur wasn’t jealous but… he was, secretly. Gwaine spoke Irish, Hunith loved him, (she adored Arthur but she so rarely saw him), he helped out with everything and chattered in Irish with all of the townsfolk, and somehow he and Will were good friends. Good enough that they texted each other.
It made sense, they were dating, they were both Irish, and Gwaine was free to travel with Merlin more often that Arthur was, but it didn’t stop Arthur from wishing he could go back more. After storms there was often major damage that needed fixing, and Merlin would rush off, taking Arthur’s car. It was part of their agreement that Merlin could use the car whenever he needed and it had taken a while for him to get used to borrowing it for frivolous things but in emergencies he knew he didn’t have to. He’d just take it and text Arthur. It was satisfying when Merlin took advantage of his stuff, he was always worried about him missing out on things. He knew he was ridiculously rich and he knew how much Merlin made, he’d never had free access to money and it made Arthur angry when he denied himself things. That was what he was there for. He’d buy him anything he asked.
Merlin didn’t pay rent, or any of the bills. Arthur had simply refused to take his money and when they’d inevitably ended up arguing, Merlin feeling like he was inadequate and undeserving of this level of care, they’d agreed that he could cook and do the chores around the house. Gwaine, then, of course didn’t pay any rent either, but he did pay for groceries, whenever he did the shopping. Neither of them made much money at all, and Arthur really did have more than he knew what to do with so it just seemed natural to him, but he knew that both of them had disliked it at first. Merlin had always been poor, that Arthur knew and he understood his frustrations but Gwaine…? Only Merlin knew anything of Gwaine’s childhood, beyond stories of school life and childhood friends. Everyone had their stories and if Gwaine wasn’t willing to share then Arthur wouldn’t ask. He understood difficult families. Before Merlin had met Gwaine, he had once asked Arthur if he’d ever move to Ealdor with him, and Arthur had said yes in a heartbeat. It wasn’t really feasible, not while they were so young at least but Arthur knew how desperately Merlin hated city life, how he wanted to be back in the countryside… there were moments when Merlin lost himself in thought and Arthur knew what he dreamt of.
If only he could make it come true.

“How’s your mother?”

“She’s alright. Sends her love to you both, the new calves are a very boisterous lot apparently, there’s one she’s nicknamed Myrddin who keeps escaping the pen.”

His eyes sparkled as he talked about his mother, about his home. Myrddin was what Merlin’s name technically was, Hunith had chosen it after he’d come out, wanting him to keep his Irish heritage, but he went by Merlin too. It was easier to spell and easier to pronounce. He didn’t prefer either over the other, but it was nice to keep them both.

“I hope she’s sent plenty of photos.”

“Oh don’t worry, I’ve been sent a mugshot of each of the calves, I’ll forward them to you both, make sure you tell her how fine they all look.”

“Oh don’t worry, I’ll email lengthy praise of them all.”

Gwaine grinned, ruffling a hand through Merlin’s hair. He loved Hunith, she was like a mother to him and she absolutely doted on him.

“How’s Will?”

Merlin beamed at the mention of his friend.

“He’s good, really good actually. I called him after you on my lunch break and then on the way home. He’s thinking of proposing to Elena.”

“Really? Holy shit I’m so happy for them! How long have they been together now?”

“Almost 7 years now, it’s crazy, I remember when they met.”

Arthur clearly wasn’t controlling his expression very well and Merlin tossed a pillow at him, “stop it, is it too much to ask to get you to play nice? You two have so much in common! You just have to stop being so petty.”

Arthur rolled his eyes, but Merlin was right. It was unfair to keep this childish feud with Will but something about him just pissed him off so much and frankly, he wasn’t sure what.

“If he invites us to his wedding then I’ll be nothing short of charming.”

Gwaine knew exactly why they hated each other. It was obvious, the few times he seen Arthur and Will in the same room it was just so blindingly clear.
It was Merlin.
Will had been his best friend his entire life, they’d been there for each other during their most formative years and he was home to Merlin. He was family, he was their culture, he was everything that made Merlin… Merlin.
Arthur was new, but he had become Merlin’s everything so fast. He had been there as Merlin became an adult, been with him for the ups and downs of school, of uni, he’d been with him as they’d established their lives. They were his two closest friends and for some reason they were jealous of each other, so much so that it boiled into hatred. They had so much in common, adoring Merlin for starters, but petty jealousy got the better of them. There was no answer to who loved Merlin more, or who Merlin loved more, the answer was both of them, equally.
They chatted a little while longer before Arthur heaved himself off of the armchair with a sigh, standing there for a moment.

“I’m going to bed, Merlin let’s head off early tomorrow, museum opens at 10 and it’s an hour and half or so drive?”

Merlin wriggled out of Gwaine’s embrace, coming over to wrap himself around him. Arthur relaxed into him, burying his face in Merlin’s hair.
It had taken them a long time to be comfortable being physical with one another. Merlin was a very touchy person, but Arthur hadn’t really been, and it had taken a while of awkward fist bumps and an uncomfortable hug or two before they’d finally gotten used to it.

“I love you, prat.”

Merlin murmured, voice muffled by Arthur’s shirt and he smiled, pressing a kiss to the top of his head.

“I love you too, Goodnight.”

They held onto each other for a few moments more, before Arthur reluctantly pulled away, disappearing off to his room.

Chapter Text

The museum seemed as if it were created just for Merlin. He poured over everything, taking photos of the most interesting pieces to email to Gaius. Arthur was not particularly bothered, but he found a room of weapons and that was more than enough to keep him from getting too bored. 

They ate at the museum cafe, Merlin explaining all the most fascinating things he’d seen to Arthur between mouthfuls of soup and bread. They stayed from opening until close, Merlin even ending up chatting to the museum staff and being shown a storage room with more of the exhibit not on display to the public. Arthur had waited for him, pleased with how happy Merlin was. Museums were dull, but his excitement over every little thing made them interesting, his fascination lighting up even the most boring of exhibits. 

It was still pouring, typical spring weather and they were glad to be out of the wet. Arthur drove them home despite Merlin’s insistence, happy to focus on the road and let him chat about the things they’d seen. 

When they made it back to the flat, Gwaine had cooked dinner as promised, and he was eager to hear about it all. Arthur didn’t mind, Merlin’s voice was soothing, he’d listen to him speak the same things a million times over. 

They watched a film after that, Merlin draped across the two men… his two men. 

(He’d of course fallen asleep half an hour into it, but neither of them had the heart to wake him). 

When the credits had run and Gwaine turned off the tv he looked at him, and Arthur met his eyes. For a moment it looked like he wanted to say something, but it was gone and he shook his head with a smile. 

“You working tomorrow?” It clearly wasn’t what he had been going to say, but Arthur didn’t question it. 

“Yeah, Monday, Tuesday, Thursday next week. I was supposed to be attending some course on Wednesday and Friday but it’s been cancelled, so I’ve got the majority of the week off… you?”

“Merlin’s on nights all week and he’s got a review thing on campus on Thursday, I think, so yeah I’m working evenings all next week. I’ve got Friday off though.”

Arthur nodded, nudging Gwaine’s thigh with his knee. 

“Dinner on Friday? My treat if we go out, or we could cook… wait, is Merlin working Friday night?”

Gwaine groaned, “oh shit yeah I think he is, well, we could still do dinner together?” 

He nudged Arthur back.  Even though they were both comfortable with physical contact, and were often very touchy, it still sometimes felt weird instigating it, especially with Merlin there, curled up in Gwaine’s lap, asleep, with his legs draped across Arthur… but the awkwardness was only temporary. He draped his arm around Arthur’s shoulders, letting him lean against him. 

Arthur let him, resting his head against Gwaine’s shoulder. His long hair tickled his cheek and he couldn’t stop himself from smiling.

“Dinner sounds good.”

Against Gwaine’s chest, Merlin finally stirred, the silence waking him from his sleep. 

Gwaine stroked his hair with his free hand, pushing tangled curls back from his face. 

“Hey handsome,” 

Merlin pushed himself up, then pressed his face into the crook of Gwaine’s neck. 

“Mmm… sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep.” 

Sitting there, with his two favourite men in his arms, was an indescribable feeling. Never in his life had he ever expected this, to be settled and content in one place with a committed partner and a best friend too. 

He had always assumed he would live life alone. That he’d drift about where the wind took him and that relationships would be something he simply laughed at but he had met Merlin and that plan had come crumbling down around him…

And he couldn’t have been happier. 

It was a busy week, Merlin was hardly home, dashing off to work as soon as Gwaine and Arthur came home, stopping long enough to say goodbye. All of his shifts overran, taking on the solo vehicle always dragged and he was asleep almost as soon as he made it back. They all hated it, but days like this happened. 

The weather was miserable too, spring sun giving way to drizzle and biting winds and each day felt like a year had passed. 

Friday came, and Gwaine kissed an exhausted Merlin goodbye. 

“Have a good shift my love, text me, ok?” He was glad he wasn’t on a car tonight, just on a dca, but he was worried. His poor boyfriend was shattered, stressed about uni and just generally miserable with the weather and his heart ached for him. At least they had the weekend off together, he’d do something to cheer him up. 

Merlin was reluctant to pull away, leaning his forehead against Gwaine’s shoulder. 

“I love you, I will. Enjoy your dinner.” 

Gwaine smiled, giving his waist a gentle squeeze, “I will, thank you baby.” 

And with that, he was gone. He’d cheer up once he was on the bus, he always did, he loved his job and there was no hiding that. It was just hard to find the motivation to get up and go when he was so tired. 

Arthur returned home a half hour later, slinging his briefcase and jacket onto the sofa. 

———

Merlin’s lecture ended mid afternoon, and with both Arthur and Gwaine working he’d taken advantage of the house to himself to clean. It didn’t take him as long as he thought it would, and reluctant to spend the evening alone he messaged his boyfriend. The bar wasn’t too busy, Merlin didn’t like it when it was, it was always too loud and too overwhelming and there wasn’t space for him to just watch Gwaine work. 

There was a space for him when he arrived, and before he’d even sat down, a beautiful pink cocktail had been set down before him. When he looked up, Gwaine winked, leaning against the wooden countertop. “On the house, for the beautiful boy in red.”

Merlin couldn’t help his cheeks flushing pink and he smiled, reaching coyly to brush his fingers over Gwaine’s wrist. 

“Thank you, exactly what I needed.”

“Raspberry and rose gin sour, I’ve been experimenting,”

Merlin raised an eyebrow, then took a sip. 

“-any good?”

“It’s perfect. It’s not too sweet but it’s still very fruity and floral, I like it a lot.” 

This was one of two bartending positions Gwaine held, and frankly, they both much preferred it over the nightclub. It was famous for its expensive, yet creative and delicious cocktails (mostly as invented by Gwaine) and it was close to the apartment, the pay was excellent and it was never so busy that he came home exhausted and overwhelmed by the amount of customers. 

The nightclub however…

It was always packed, and the pay was just fine in comparison. They didn’t really sell cocktails, just bombs and shots with mixers, but it was where they’d first met and it was a little sentimental to them both. It was also easier, because it meant that with two jobs Gwaine could balance his shift timings to somewhat match Merlin’s and that had been good for them.  It meant that they still got time together almost every day, no matter when that was, and in truth they both slept easier in the same bed. 

Gwaine’s shift went by quickly, and he presented Merlin with a few more beautiful experiments he’d been practising, two of which were new mocktails - as much as Merlin enjoyed sampling his boyfriend’s creations, he didn’t particularly fancy getting drunk. 

They walked home, favouring the chill of spring nights to go hand in hand, talking about anything and everything. It was moments like this that Merlin remembered just how fiercely in love he was with him.

Merlin pushed him against the wall as soon as they were safely in the privacy of their room, one hand on Gwaine’s waist and the other on his shoulder, holding him back as their lips met. He kissed him until they were both breathless, pulling back just enough to meet Gwaine’s eyes. 

Gwaine swallowed hard, hands resting on Merlin’s sides. He opened his mouth, but Merlin beat him to it. 

He stretched up, lips grazing his ear as he whispered into it, “I’m going to fuck you so hard you can’t think,” 

Gwaine shivered, turning his head to find and catch Merlin’s lips again. “You promise?” 

They tended to default to Merlin bottoming, it was easier, made penetration satisfying for both of them and it was their general preference, but neither were strict on it. In fact, Merlin had topped the second time they’d slept together. Still, it didn’t happen particularly often and when it did, Gwaine was completely and utterly under Merlin’s control. He already was, but when he had that look in his eyes and he told him what to do… 

He was helpless. 

Merlin rocked his hips forward, pressing against him through the zippers of his jeans and Gwaine leant his head back, his breath catching in his throat. 

Sharp teeth grazed the skin of his exposed neck and Gwaine couldn’t stop the noise that escaped him, his grip tightening on his boyfriend. 

Merlin canted his hips wickedly, pressing against him, sucking bruises into the skin under his ear. 

With Gwaine lying there, completely naked and just waiting for Merlin to tell him what to do, he found his fingers slipping a little as he tightened the straps of his harness. He was so ridiculously attractive and having him completely under his control… well, it got him a little flustered.

———

Merlin was up before Gwaine the next morning, taking the opportunity to work on his dissertation while the rest of the flat was quiet. 

When Gwaine plonked himself next to Merlin an hour or so later, putting his cup of coffee on the table before turning to face him, Merlin startled, before smiling easily up at his partner. 

“So.”

“So?”

“Arthur.”

“What about him?”

There was a moment, but Merlin’s smile was reassuring, he wanted this just as much as Gwaine did. 

“We need to discuss boundaries. Have you thought about it yet?”

Merlin closed his book, then reached over and took his boyfriend's hand, interlocking their fingers. 

“I don’t want either of us to sleep with him without the other knowing. Maybe if.. something happens then that can change later but I don’t want it to not be all of us first. Y’know?”

Gwaine did know, and the tension he’d been holding eased. 

“I was thinking the same thing. What about kissing? I’m ok with you and him kissing without having told me first or whatever but I want to know afterwards… are you comfortable with that?”

They talked for a little while, establishing boundaries and expectations and just generally what they both wanted… as long as, of course, Arthur wanted the same thing.

Even still, Gwaine found himself unable to keep the nerves away, anxiety creeping up on him as he took another sip of his coffee.  

The slender fingers intertwined in his own squeezed his hand, bringing him back.

“Talk to me.” 

Merlin could read him like a book, he just knew when something was wrong and he was always there and ready to help him. He set his mug down and allowed himself to be pulled into his boyfriend's lap, resting his head against his chest. 

“Talk to me darling.”

They tended to speak English at home, even when Arthur wasn’t there, but moments like this weren’t made for it and Gwaine felt almost as if he was about to cry with his switch to Irish. 

“I’m being ridiculous because I know you and I trust you, I just-“ He paused, letting Merlin wrap his arms around him. “A part of me is convinced that you’ll realise you don’t need me and leave me for Arthur.”

“Oh Gwaine, sweetheart, you’re not ridiculous. We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, and I know you know this and I’ll say it again, I love you. There’s a reason I’m dating you and not Arthur and it’s because you’re the person that I want to be with. I am completely and utterly yours.” He gave him a gentle squeeze. “I swear to you that I won’t ever just up and leave like that, no one is a better partner to me than you, no one can ever replace you.” 

The knot in his stomach untangled itself as he spoke and he turned and hugged him, pressing his face into Merlin’s chest, the soft fabric of his sweater tickling his nose. 

“I love you.”

“I love you too sweetheart, so much more than I can ever tell you. If you’re not comfortable with this at any point just tell me and it’ll be ok, I want you to be happy above everything else.”

Gwaine knew he was telling the truth. He did trust him completely but the self doubt was still there. It would never truly go, he didn’t think he could ever actually escape it. It would always be there, insisting he wasn’t good enough for the life he created. 

They didn’t bring it up again for a little while,  but as time passed, Gwaine’s confidence returned. They discussed it more, established everything they were and weren’t comfortable with. They agreed that Gwaine should try first, that there would be less consequences if things were unsuccessful, and it would reassure him. There was an upcoming work dinner of Arthur’s, Merlin would be with Gwen for the evening. Tickets to some show that they’d booked months ago and forgotten. It was perfect, an evening for Gwaine to put out feelers to Arthur, then either they had the flat to themselves or nothing happened and things continued as normal. 

They were both nervous, they couldn’t deny it, but they loved and trusted each other and that was the most important thing.

Arthur had bought Gwaine a suit for his birthday the year before, a beautiful and expensively made one. It was tailored perfectly, by the same person who did all of Arthur’s and frankly it was the best thing he owned. With his beard trimmed and his hair pulled back, he just looked perfect. In some respects, he hated it. He looked rich, he looked like everything he’d always hated, everything he’d always tried to run from. 

But despite this, there was something reassuring about the fact that it was from Arthur. He liked that he looked good and he liked that the suit had been personally picked out by Arthur, it added something more personal. 

Merlin had gone out earlier, so he got ready alone, taking his time to look his best. Impressing Arthur’s coworkers was always important, but tonight impressing Arthur was far more so. He sent a couple of photos to his boyfriend, receiving high praise in return which boosted his confidence. Merlin always knew how to make him feel better and surprisingly he did have some sense of style, so Gwaine always took his outfit compliments gladly. 

Once he was sure he was ready, he left their room, fiddling with his cuff links as he entered the living room. Arthur was already there waiting, absently scrolling on the sofa. When he heard Gwaine, he looked up, their eyes meeting before he smiled. “You look good.”

“I need you to take Merlin away for the weekend.”

Arthur turned to face his roommate, surprised to see just how nervous he was. 

“What are you talking about?”

Gwaine rubbed his arm awkwardly, unsure how to explain. 

“I need you to take Merlin out for the weekend, somewhere that’s not here. I can’t have Merlin knowing I’m gone but I also can’t tell you what I’m doing.”

Arthur was instantly suspicious, setting his phone down and glaring at Gwaine. 

“If you’re cheating on him I will literally make your life hell, what are you going to do?”

“What? No- god, I’m not cheating on him Princess! I can’t tell you because you’re horrific at keeping secrets but I’m doing something for Merlin! He just can’t know that I’m doing something, he has to think I’m here.” 

Arthur relaxed a little, folding his arms over his chest. 

“Ok, I could take him up to Ealdor for the weekend? It’s been ages since I’ve seen Hunith and-“

“Arthur. I am going to Ealdor. To see Hunith. Just take him somewhere that is neither London or Ireland, please.” Thankfully Arthur was oblivious enough that it didn’t click what Gwaine was actually doing and he agreed. He and Merlin drove up to York on Friday evening with an Airbnb in the Dales booked until Sunday, when they’d drive back. Morgana and Gwen were joining them and Morgana, who had caught on to Gwaine almost immediately, had very helpfully planned a road trip around as many ruins and historical sites as she physically could. Unlike Arthur who absolutely could not be trusted, Gwaine knew she would keep it a secret. 

He set off early Saturday morning, so early that even Merlin wouldn’t be awake and texting him yet. The drive was easy, they’d taken Morgana’s car after Arthur pretended that there was something wrong with his own and Gwaine had graciously offered to take it to the shop for him. He had done the journey to Ealdor once before on his bike and of course the second he’d entered Ireland it had pissed it down. The ferry wasn’t too bad and it gave him a chance to reply to Merlin. He was supposed to be at work in the evening which gave him the chance to talk to Hunith without Merlin wondering what he was doing. The three of them all had each other’s locations turned on, but Gwaine had turned his off several days prior and just ‘forgotten’ to turn it back on. He hated lying to Merlin like this, hated deceiving him but for this? It had to be done. 

It surprisingly wasn’t raining in Ealdor when he arrived in the afternoon, and Hunith welcomed him to a pot of tea and cake. He’d told her he was coming and asked her to keep it secret and he wasn’t sure whether she’d worked it out yet, but he certainly wasn’t about to ruin the moment. Once he’d put his stuff away upstairs in Merlin’s old room, something that always made his heart swell with so much love that his chest hurt, he helped out wherever Hunith needed. There was always stuff to do and he was more than happy to help. If anything, it helped distract him from the nerves. It was the evening when he asked. He’d helped cook and then had insisted on doing the washing up after they’d eaten, and here they were sitting together in the living room, a roaring fire in the hearth and even more cake in their laps. 

A silence had passed for long enough that Gwaine was sure his nerves were apparent, and Hunith gently asked him what he had come to talk to her about. 

Gwaine set aside the plate and reached into his pocket, gripping the small velvet box in his fist. 

“As I’m sure you know, Merlin and I have been together for almost 5 years now, and I’ve wanted to do this for so much longer but I wanted him to finish his degree and I think maybe I was just scared but I love him so much and-“ he was aware that he was rambling, “-and I want to spend the rest of my life with him, I’ve never met anyone I’ve loved more deeply and so what I’m trying to say is,” he took a breath, opening the box with his thumb. “Is I would like your permission to ask him to marry me.” 

There were tears in his eyes, and when he looked up there were tears in hers too. She nodded, a hand pressed to her chest. 

“Oh sweet boy of course. You have my blessing. Come here, let me see the ring.”

He came to her side, passing her the box. It was a band of solid silver, with a ring of gold through the middle. The silver was solid, but the gold was inscribed with what looked almost like letters. 

“It’s uh, it’s the runes from Excalibur. Well, Merlin’s favourite version of it. Uh, yeah-“

“Oh Gwaine, it’s beautiful, oh my boy, I’m so happy.”

She pulled him in for a hug, and he felt the tears in his eyes finally spill. 

“I was so worried when he transitioned that people wouldn’t be accepting but you… you’ve shown him so much love, I can’t think of anyone more deserving of my boy.”

The next morning, Gwaine was woken up to fresh soda bread and a pot of herbal tea, as well as some freshly churned butter that Hunith had made the night before. It was delicious, and he made sure to tell her so before he went on the next part of his journey. 

He had the ring box in his hand, twisting it as he soothed his nerves. 

Elena was the one who answered, and Gwaine could see her engagement ring where she held the door open for him. 

“Come on in! Will is just outside, can I get you anything?”

“No, thank you. Congratulations by the way! Merlin showed me the photos.”

She beamed, extending her hand out to him to admire. 

“I’m so happy, I hope you’re coming to the wedding?”

Gwaine nodded, interrupted by Will emerging. 

“Gwaine! How nice to see you man, what brings you up here? You said you had a question?” They shook hands, and Gwaine didn’t doubt that he could feel how sweaty he had gotten. 

“Yeah, uh- I’ll just get straight to it. I want to ask Merlin to marry me, if you’ll allow me.”

There was a beat, then Will beamed. 

“Holy shit, yes! Yes of course man, oh my god. You got a ring?”

He nodded, fumbling with the box as he opened it for him. 

“Oh that’s beautiful… that’s really beautiful Gwaine.” Elena breathed, pressed against her fiancé. “I assume you asked Hunith?”

“Yeah, last night. I haven’t told anyone else, not even Arthur.”

Something about that seemed to please Will as he admired the ring, pouring over the inscription. 

“When are you going to ask him?”

Gwaine twisted the cuff of his sleeve, waiting to take the ring box back. 

“I - I’m not actually sure. I wanted to wait until he finished his degree but I don’t know if I can wait that much longer, I want to do it here though… or at least somewhere that’s home to us both, not London.”

“Well, if you need any help planning… Will and I are always happy to help.” Elena said gently, passing the box back to him. “I know he’ll say yes, you two are really made for each other.” 

Will nodded and Gwaine felt the anxiety he’d been holding finally melt completely away. He’d have to ask Arthur next, but that could wait. He doubted he’d be able to keep it together, at least not enough not to tell Merlin without a day to process.