Chapter Text
For a moment, Lucifer just stood on the front step in shock, heart pounding in his chest. It didn’t feel as just a possibility that he actually was doing it. After so many bruises and fights, he was leaving. He didn’t even remember what had made it finally click, what had pushed him to leave. But, the light drizzling rain and shivers from Charlie grounded it, giving him something to focus on.
Spurred on by the alarm in the background, the man clenched tightly to his daughter with shaking hands. Slowly, he stepped off of the grand porch, gravel crunching beneath his feet. Once before, Lilith had spent over thousands and thousands of dollars on importing gravel from some exotic country, saying there was a difference. But, as he walked, approaching his beaten down car, it all sounded the same, each soft crunch sounding as if a bomb was going off.
“I...I...I am..” whispered Lucifer in a quiet voice. “I am doing it.”
Spurred on by the screeching of the house alarm, the young father rushed over to where his beaten down car was awaiting. Rain started to strum down onto his shoulders, hair, everything, he fumbled with his keys for a moment before unlocking the back driver's door. Lucifer carefully settled his daughter into his car seat, buckling her in. Pressing a kiss to her forehead, a blanket from the floor of his car, she was covered and bags deposited on the other side of her.
Trying his best to close the door softly, his blue gaze lingered for a moment. Charlie, in her young innocence, had started to fall asleep before stirring again. Her small face was scrunched up in sleepy confusion. There were only little flashes the small toddler could remember. Going from being asleep in her bedroom and carried out into the pouring rain by her father caused her to whine.
“Shh, Duckie..” Lucifer spoke as he climbed into the front seat, shivering. He turned around to face her, seeing that her stuffie, Razzle Dazzle, was clutched in her arms. Charlie’s small cheek was pressed against its crooked horn, eyes half close. “It’s late. It’s bedtime, Duckie.”
Charlie let out a soft sound before she fell silent, prompting him to turn back around. Despite shivering from how his clothes clung to him, he moved quickly. Remembering the vague times about the driving lessons that Lilith once taught him, he shifted the car into neutral. Being at the back of the hill, the beat up van, sputtering for a few seconds before slowly moving down the driveway, lights off, not risking it yet.
“Daddy…?” Charlie’s voice was groggy as she stirred from the movement, violet eyes heavy. “Where’s Mommy?”
“Shh...Duckie. Remember its quiet time.” Lucifer spoke as if the mere whispering would awake his wife. He glanced back at her, seeing that she barely even moved. “Mommy is sleeping. We’re going on a short road trip.”
Charlie blinked sleepily. “I want Mommy.”
Drawing in a breath, Lucifer felt his heart ache. It was no secret that Charlie, his little Duckie, was a Daddy’s girl. But, the small three-year-old still wanted her mother, the one who carried her. There would always be a part of him that would be unable to replace the maternal love that she needed.
But there was no turning back. Charlie only saw one part, the Mommy that was safety, warm, and unconditional love. All of which was a lie. Rather, a shattered hollow truth that held no safe place for his only daughter.
“N..No, Ducke.” He murmured in a soft voice, trying to keep the car steady as he approached the gate. “Mommy is not here.”
His gaze flickered to his daughter as he flipped the car back into park. Charlie’s wide eyes watched his every movement, unshed tears of puzzlement. It nearly caused him to crumble, to go back.
But, remembering why he was leaving, he slipped out into the rain once more. Splashing his way over to the keypad at the front of the gate, he smashed in the nine digit number as it began to open with a grinding noise.
“We’re going on a road trip,” the man repeated, trying to reassure his daughter, along with himself. “Now little Duckies should be asleep.”
Closing his door once more, he shifted to stretch through the small gap to pull the blanket back over her. Tucking it snugly around her, he brushed some of her messy hair out of her violet gaze.
“Go to sleep, Ducke,” he cooed, gently cradling her cheek. His gaze and voice were warm, promising for a safer future. He was doing this for her, to get a better place. “Little ducklings should be asleep.”
“Daddy...Sing…” Charlie whined as she seemed to realx I her seat, head resting against the covering. “Sing, Daddy..”
“Daddy…”
It was something he had done for his daughter ever since she was little. Any song that came to his mind. Sometimes it would be Hound Dog by Elvis. Other times, it was Beautiful Soul.
“Daddy can’t sing right now.”
With a tight heart, Lucifer waited a few moments until Charlie’s eyes fluttered shut. Breath steady, she drifted off.
Shifting back into his seat and clicking the seat belt into place, he breathed roughly, feeling as if the entire world was falling onto his shoulders. The night was dark and still. His hands gripped the steering wheel as he reached up to turn the car on, preying it wouldn’t stall.
Then, hair standing up on the back of his neck, his senses screamed.
If he had been an animal his hackles would have been raised and bristling as something told him…of something feeling off. There was a slight disturbance, one that he could not explain. There was something from the shadows that seemed to stretch even further than before, almost appearing as claws over his small beat up car.
Heart pounding in his chest and almost preparing to flee back to the home, half wondering if Lilith would forgive if he pleaded and begged. But, he gripped the steering wheel tightly, knowing there was someone out there. One with one purpose, a promise that he wouldn’t make it, if not now in the future, out alive.
Swallowing fearfully, his blue eyes darkened up to the rearview mirror. In the backseat, he saw his daughter, Charlie, still asleep. Remembering why he was leaving, he relaxed slightly. But, it did not stop his hands from gripping the steering wheel, knuckles turning white.
“Please stay asleep. I need you to stay asleep, Duckie.”
It was a plea to no one. He long ago had lost any faith in God. No ever loving figure could allow this to happen.
Fingers shaking, terrified and skittish over knowing there would be one there, awaiting in the darkness for him. But, one hand forced away from the steering wheel, he gripped the keys before turning the car on.
“It’s okay,” he whispered as started to turn them. “Daddy will protect you, Duckie.”
Lights flickering on, a scream almost instantly bubbled into Lucifer’s throat, gaze locking with the one he had known would be out there. Standing in the pouring rain, furious and angered, was Lilith. Her pristine blond hair, normally pulled into a bun, had been neat and well maintained before. Now, it was dark and heavy, plastered to her face. Her silk robe was almost see through, clinging to her front side as a second skin.
If he had been a weaker man, one still diluted into thinking she loved him, Lucifer would have caved upon the sight of that, no detail of her beautiful body hidden. But, her violet, the same ones he loved from his daughter, was burning as a thousand suns, mirroring his own horrified one.
“How…” Her voice, he knew was a trick, cracked. “What are you doing, Luci..? Lucifer, my love, did you have a nightmare again?”
Despite being inside the car, behind locked doors, Lilith’s voice, raw, painful as a whip, almost tearing through his delicate flesh, manipulative as it was. The tapping of the rain against the roof of the car did nothing to stop the cracking, accusation of what he was doing, a warning of the hell to pay for this.
“You don’t need to be scared, Luci. It’s not real.” She spoke as if he was a feral beast, as if cornered would lash out. “It was just a dream, Luci. Come out. What happened can be forgotten. We can take Charlie back inside, and leave this behind us."
Freezing as if a deer caught in headlights, Lucifer’s muscles stiffened, nearly locking himself in place, not wanting to incur the wrath of his wife. Lilith knew how to manipulate the situation, leaving him doubtful of a situation. Almost wondering if he was in the wrong, one that was almost impossible to break.
But, when his blue gaze flickered to the overhead mirror, to see his slumbering daughter, made him remember he wasn’t in the wrong. He shouldn’t have to worry about being struck, for bruises. It was not what his mother would have wanted for him.
His fingers tightened around his keys. The lights were on, but the car wasn’t on. Taking a deep breath, face hardening, he twisted it. There was a moment of pure silence, half expecting the ignition to sputter and die on the spot.
After a fleeting moment, where his stomach began to drop, the engine roared to life. As if his guardian angel was urging him forward, the first time in years he thought God was real. It was the angel begging and pushing for him not as his groomer's voice told him to.
"Hey!"
His abuser's voice rang out, sharp, commanding, a move that had once made him cave. It cut deep as if a siren's call, one that was meant to lead sailors astray and over the side of the boat straight into the sea. And, if he had been weaker, not reeling from the light, the man knew he might have faltered, caved to such demands.
"Lucifer-" She rarely used her full time. He was majorly screwed. "What the hell is this? What are you doing?"
Before now, Lucifer had never truly driven a car, despite owning this piece of junk. Lilith had kept promising and promising, pushing it further and further away, to teach him to drive. But, he knew enough for his hand to move to the gear shift. Grasping onto it, the young man yanked the car into reverse, backing up, preparing to go around her.
The woman could only be in one place at once. He could go the other way, which gave him a way out. But, as he made his move, backing up, Lilith lunged to block him, her feet slipping on the icy stones and nearly sending her tumbling.
"Luci!” The seducess voice had softened, dripping and oozing with a sweetness that he knew was fake. Before, it was something that could make him behave, fall into line, as she wished. A pet name that had lulled his senses at the beginning, when he was still not understanding how someone as her would like one as him.
“Talk to me!” A manipulative sob built in her throat. But her violet gaze was still sharp, one showing it was all a ruse. “Stop this, and we can talk."
That was a lie. There would be no talking. Just yelling and bruises, all like daggers to him.
Throwing the car into drive, he slammed on the gas. The car lurched forward, its tires trying to catch traction on the slipper gravel. Screeching loudly, it shattered the silence of the night. As it began to move, gravel flew behind him, sparking briefly in the rear headlights glow.
"You fucking bastard! You can't run from me! You know you are nothing without me!" Lilith's voice morphed from the soft, honeyed version to one of a siren, loud and screeching, manipulative, unloving. she sprinted after the car, bare feet getting scraped up. "Lucifer Magne, you will regret this! Stop, and I will forgive you!"
As he sped out of the driveway, Lilith's charging frame began to shrink and disappear into the darkness. Blurred and disappeared into the rain until she disappeared, tripping. Her hands slammed into the wet gravel; cries of pain unheard from her.
But, he did not stop.
0000
Tap-tap. Tap. Tap-tap.
Tap-Tap. Tap. Tap-tap.
Lucifer gripped onto the steering wheel as his fingers kept tapping on the sides, anxiously looking in the overhead mirror. He half expected to see another set of headlights or flashing police lights behind him, knowing that Lilith would never go down without a fight. She always had something in her back pocket. The woman always found a way to get what she wanted.
The road stretched endlessly behind and in front of him. Rain came down steadily and darkness still clung. Only sound was the tapping of his finger, the rain, and the wipers dragging across the windshield. They could barely keep up as the rain only came down harder.
His gaze shifted to the time on the radio. It was almost five in the morning. He had been driving for hours, felt as if almost a full day. But, it was barely even three.
Fingers tingling from gripping the steering wheel too tight and his bladder screaming to relieve itself, the young man rubbed his tired eyes, wishing just to sleep. The external exhaustion, a kind that seemed into his bones, was starting to wash over him. The fight or flight he had long since held back was starting to finally crash down.
“Just a few more hours,” he promised himself, knowing the next stop would change everything. Once social services were involved, there was no turning back.
Everyone would see the true reality of the situation between Lilith and him. The Glass Walls would shatter and fall down, leaving him to suffer and attempt to rebuild the pieces, something that would feel almost impossible to do.
There was so much that he would have to do, so little that he had access while his surname was Magne.
Names came with power. And, his wife’s name was the most powerful.
"Fuck.." The word came out in a strangled whisper, knowing that it was going to get worse before it got better. Lilith held everything over him. She knew how he ticked. "Fuck..."
Breathing roughly, his task went back to the roads. He was now on the backroad, one that Lilith didn't know about. It had seen better days, with weeds growing from the ditches and cracks across the asphalt. Trees, on either side, stood like silent guards, high and branches thick.
This area, that he knew, had been long since abandoned in recent years. The recession had been harder on the more "common" folks than it was on his wife, than him. Everything had changed when pay didn't cover rent, food, and other expenses. The ghostly remnants warned him of what he was to soon experience.
Abandoned trailers, overrun with weeds and wildlife. Collapsing sheds that had doors hanging by one hinge. A rusted-out trailer buried in a pile of junk, or someone's most prized possessions. All left behind to decay, forgotten in the rush to leave.
His own things had been the same. There were so many possessions that he had from his college days that were left behind. Cherished items as his old family photo album, containing the only photos of his birth family, the Morningstars. He never met them, never knew who they were.
Before, his last name meant nothing. But now, with what came, Morninstar was everything. It gave him a chance to get away from the Magne, a powerful name for a powerful woman.
Breathing roughly, he blinked tiredly as the car hummed, being the only sound in the lightning darkness, even the rain began to let off, leaving him in silence.
0000
The early morning sun streamed through the windows of the beat up car as Lucifer was jerked awake by a sharp rap against his window, body aching from his fitful rest in the front seat. Heart almost leaping into his throat, he took a few moments to recognize that he was no longer at the mansion in the more affluent city, Seaward Buffs. Rather, he was in the car with his three-year-old daughter, Charlie, curled up on his lap, her face tucked into the crook of his neck.
Blue eyes blinking sleepily, he was greeted with the large crashing shoreline, waves lapping at the jagged rocks over the railings. It was something that he would have loved once before, one that would have been an escape from Lilith’s reign.
However, now it was different.
Looking to the side, an older cop stood outside of his car. Gruff and grizzled, he did not look like the ones that patrolled the Seaward Buffs. The ones that Charlie got to ring the siren or gave her the “Big Helper” star during the yearly carnival. This was one that looked impatient, almost annoyed by his mere presence, as if already making his thoughts of what kind of person he was.
“You can’t be parked here.” He flickered to the general dirt road that Lucifer had pulled off into late last night, being the first safe place to park. “You have to move.”
Still half asleep from what he did, it took a moment to register what the officer was saying. Even with him blinking his blue eyes and freezing an arm to fumble with the window as it rolled down, he shivered against the early morning cold, announcing that winter was not too far away.
“I thought..”
He cleared his throat, voice raw as he tried to keep himself together. There was still the overlooking feeling of how wrong it was for him to leave. Something that made him very briefly wonder if he had gone far enough for being out of Lilith’s reach. Was the officer under his wife’s thumb?
“There is no sign…” He finally started to find his voice. “There was no indication of closing time..”
"Locals know it closes by ten." The officer spoke in a clipped voice as his gaze shifted down to where Charlie sat, her little socked foot jutting from beneath her father's arm. She was still slumbering deeply, soft breaths wispy against his arm. "You need to leave. Now."
His stomach dropped. "Yes, Oficer."
As he began to walk away, Lucifer gently brushed his daughter's curls out of her face, pressing a kiss on her temple. With a slight whine, Charlie stirred, her small fingers not leaving from where they clung to the collar of his nightshirt. Her dazed, violet gaze did not look too pleased about awakening.
"I know it's early, Duckie." The young father sighed as he was reluctant to move himself. Sleep still clung to his tall frame as he shifted to place his daughter in the seat next to him. Stifling a yawn, he brushed his daughter’s curls out of her face, gentle, loving. "You can sleep more in your booster seat."
"Daddy..." Charlie's small fist rubbed her eyes, tugging her goat, Razzle Dazzle, closer to her, tucking beneath her small chin, a low growl emitting from her belly. "I'm hungry."
"Daddy is too.." Lucifer had answered once the three-year-old was back in her booster seat. "We'll fill up on gas, and try to find a bite to eat in town, Duckie."
0000
Falling into a tense silence, Lucifer impatiently tapped the steering wheel again. Both focusing on the road but also flickering down to the fuel gaze, the gas tank. Stressed, he frowned. It was empty, as normal.
While not surprising, it still worried him. He rarely used his car, and kept it maintained. His wife, Lilith, kept pushing it off and on to help him to get his license, saying that she would drive him wherever he needed to go, another way that she held control over him.
Something that he now tried to ignore, something that was being out weighed by the fact how dangerously low the needle sat. Far beyond the large, red E to the left corner of the gauge.
It was a gamble of which he was playing. Unfamiliar with the car, Luci knew not how much further, or how many miles, before the car finally just came to a halt.
“Luci…” He could almost hear Lilith’s honeyed tone in his mind, almost as if she was whispering in his ear now. “You can’t even do the simplest things right. You’re nothing without me.”
Gritting his teeth, his fingers tightened around the steering weel. Even though he was succeeding right now, when he had failed before, there was a part of him that knew LIlith was right. If he couldn’t do such a basic task as keeping and maintaining his car, how could he even consider being good enough to take care of Charlie, his daughter.
It was even stupid to think he could do this. Lilith was right. He was useless. A worthless fa-.
“Daddy..?” Charlie’s sleepy voice came from the back. The small girl had been dozing on and off, not used to early mornings. Or, the extended period that they spent in his car. “Daddy, you’re driving weird .”
As if pulled back to the surface, Lucifer was blinking, realizing he had started to hit the rumble strips. Immediately, he guided the car back to the center of the lane, stomach dropping.
Charlie’s violet eyes blinked tiredly. “Daddy?”
“It’s okay, Duckie.” The young father cleared his throat, flicking the turn signal on, letting out a sigh of relief at the sign promising a gas station only a few minutes away. “Daddy got distracted. I’m all better now.”
Drawing in a deep breath, he shifted in the seat. It was almost ten in the morning. The rest of the world had been awake and productive for the last three hours or more. All bundled up warm against the air outside, which was biting cold from how his windows had started to frost up and goosebumps spread over his exposed skin.
The heater had never worked in the car. Rather, it blew nothing but cold air. Before now, Lilith had dismissed it as not an option. His car are rarely used, leaving no need to be fixed. Now, with what he had done, the heat was just low enough to keep the windshield from getting too mucked up.
He pulled the car into one of the pumps as he yanked the keys out. Turning to see Charlie already dozing, Luci took a deep breath as he stepped out into the cold, shuddering. His clothes stood no chance for the early winter weather.
Still half asleep, the young father is surprised that he remembered to grab his wallet. Inside was a thick surplus of cash, which barely came to two hundred dollars, from many months of squirreling away any change he found.
Lilith never liked giving him cash, saying it was obsolete. They could use her card from her bank account.
Shaking his head, he slipped the wallet back into his pocket, grabbing the fuel pump. Considering for a moment, the young father pushed down the unleaded button, watching as the number slowly crept up.
$2.17.
$4.24.
$10.28.
$15.19.
$27.99.
Slipping the nozzle back into place, Lucifer opened the back door; the cold air causing Charlie to stir. Whining softly from being lifted out of her car seat, she curled into her father’s arms, head resting on his shoulder and little fingers clutching the collar of his nightshirt.
“I know, Duckie,” he sighed, collecting his bag. Closing the door behind him, he carried his daughter into the gas station, hearing the “dinging” sound announcing their entrance.
The gas station was harshly lit by bright fluorescent light, nearly causing Lucifer's eyes to water. Rubbing the back of his palm against his eyes, he sighed tiredly. He knew that he looked run down and held the entire world on his shoulders.
"Puffs.." Charlie's small finger pointed to a low display, where a small metal shelving unit held packaged treats. One of them was his daughter's favorite, Puffed Cheddar Popcorn. "They have puffs."
"Later, Duckie." The young father crouched down to pick his daughter up, adjusting their travel bag. As he moved further into the small space, a young cashier, who just finished helping another customer, glanced at them, following his movement. It wasn't until another person, wanting to pay for gas, came in that he returned his attention away from the mother and daughter.
Shaking it off, he made his way towards the restroom, knowing a small place as this would have single bathrooms. As he passed the small coffee area, he could see a customer look at Charlie and then to him, as if questioning. He ignored it, knowing what they probably thought. A man traveling alone with a young girl and no mother in sight would draw questions. He knew this.
Locking the door behind him, he sat Charlie down, dropping the bag into the sink. Rifling around, he pulled out her daughter's favorite outfit, a small Bluey shirt, black pants, and clean underwear, simple and easy to grab. Letting her dress herself with his back turned, he quickly changed into his own outfit, a white top, and a pair of black jeans.
Zipping up the bag, he nearly flinched at his reflection in the mirror. Dark circles, one from many sleepless nights, a few bruises sprawling from where he couldn't cover them. A man that was exhausted and faced war, one that had yet to leave.
It was enough. He knew there was no turning back.
Stepping out into the store, Lucifer rushed through grabbing all that was needed. With an armful of protein bars, a few bags of puffs, a large bottle of water and three bottles of milk for Charlie, he stepped into line at the counter. He knew it was a bad idea to purchase so much at once, but it would be easier to stretch money out, as the two hundred was all the cash he had.
Having one arm free, he pulled his phone out, having it no Do Not Disturb until then. As it clicked off, it flared to life.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
Many notifications flooded in, almost causing the phone to fall out of his hand. It was almost like an avalanche of snow flooding over him.
Old missed calls from his old college friends, Brandon Walsh, Emily Carter, and more.
Texts and announcements about old college events that he never bothered to unlist from. It was a hassle. But, now a reminder of what he was forced to give up.
For a moment, he thought it had stopped. Than, a shrill, loud ringing echoed, sending his heart to roar in his ears. Stomach dropping, he caught the name on the screen.
Lilith. Lilith. Lilith. Lilith.
3 missed calls from Lilith.
7 missed calls from Lilith.
15 missed calls from Lilith.
2 new text messages from Lilith.
3 new text messages from Lilith.
7 new text messages from Lilith.
Lilith Morningstar, sent at 2:27 A.M.
Why are you doing this? Was I that bad of a wife?
Lilith Morningstar, sent at 2: 37 A.M.
Come back home, Luci
Lilith Morningstar, sent at 5:47 A.M.
You will suffer for this, Lucifer.
Lilith Morningstar, sent at 7: 12 A.M.
You won't do this. You can't keep her.
She belongs with her mother.
You won't know how to raise her.
Lilith Morningstar, sent at 8:24 A.M.
You are making a huge mistake, Lucifer Magne.
You know that you can't raise her alone!
A daughter needs her mother.
Lilith Morningstar, set at 9:15 A.M.
If you don't bring her back, I'll make you suffer.
Lilith Morningstar, sent at 9: 47 A.M.
You have no one, Lucifer. You need me.
Lilith Morningstar, sent at 10:03 A.M.
You can't run from me.
It won't keep you safe.
You have no idea what's coming.
Fingers tightening around his phone, Lucifer felt sick, almost regretting leaving. He knew that she had connections deep in different areas. Connections that could track him with ease.
"Fuck," he muttered, gaze drifting over the top three texts from others.
Charles Kight, sent at 3:05 A.M
Lucifer, I got a call from Lilith.
Charles Kight, sent at 3:07 A.M.
She said something is wrong.
Please, come back before something happens.
Something that you regret.
Elenor Magne, sent at 6:10 A.M.
Lucifer, this isn't how it should be.
I know Lilith can be head strong, very head strong.
But this isn't how it should be done.
Talk to her.
Maise Clash, sent at 8:45 A.M.
Lilith's worried about you, Lucifer.
Think about Charlie.
We're hurting her from taking
her away from her mother.
Biting his lower lip, he shoved the phone into his pocket. He couldn't focus on that. Charlie was more important.
Placing his things onto the counter, he reached into his pack pocket to pull out his wallet. As he reached for the cash, he almost winced at the price, a high dollar amount of thirty-five dollars. There would be only $165 left, something that he would have to stretch out much as possible.
"Have a good day," the cashier said with a very evident side eye as he collected the bag.
"You too," he spoke in a tight voice, grabbing Charlie's hand. He walked out back to the car, feeling as if he had scathing looks on his back. Scathing looks that he felt as Lilith would pop up at any moments' notice, she would have control over him again.
“Daddy..?” His small daughter’s violet gaze was filled with confusion as she was strapped into her car seat. A bag of Puff popcorn and bottle of milk was open for her, just within her reach. “Where’s Mommy?”
Pausing as he was fumbling with his buckles, Lucifer did not have the heart to tell her what was happening. Charlie only saw half of what was happening at home. To her, Lilith was nothing but loving and caring, nothing noticed from behind closed doors.
“Remember, Duckie..” He finally managed to finish the buckle, pressing a kiss on her forehead. His lips felt bitter with the light, one he was still telling. “You and Daddy are going on a road trip. We’ll see Mommy later.”
Pulling back from his daughter and closing the door, the young father slipped back into the driver’s seat, setting the bag in the passenger seat. Buckling his own seat belt in, he started the car, seeing a half tank.