Chapter Text
Near instantly after Hawkfrost left my presence, Squirrelpaw came storming over, clearly mad about something new. I could not understand why she was acting like this. II hadn't done anything to deserve such a reaction.
"Darkpaw, why were you talking to Hawkfrost?" She demanded.
"It's my job as Guardian. I can't just ignore one clan because we've got a history with them." I replied defensively.
"No. I don't care that you were talking to Riverclan. I care that you were talking to Hawkfrost." She hissed back.
"Why? I mean, did he do something to offend you I'm really not seeing where you're coming from Squirrelpaw. If you could just explain it to me, I'd try to understand." I mewed back.
Squirrelpaw stared me down, seemingly trying to look for a deception before shaking her head. "It's nothing. Just something about Hawkfrost puts me on edge. Whenever I see him, he's got this look of hunger on his face and I start feeling like I'm being hunted. Something isn't right about that cat. His movements are too smooth. His reactions are to rehearsed. It reminds me of Smudgefoot when he's trying to convince the other clans to do something. Thing is, Smudgefoot will always tell you what he wants. I don't know what Hawkfrost wants, but I can just tell it isn't anything good. Please just promise me that you'll try to avoid him." Squirrelpaw mewed.
"I mean, I'll try, but I'll have to talk to him if he approaches me. It's part of my job." I answered, getting a begrudging nod.
"Fine. I guess you've got an obligation then, but don't go seeking him out." Squirrelpaw mewed before whirling around to leave. She hesitated a moment longer before mewing. "Sorry about earlier. Dawn talked to me. She explained your relationship with her. She says you're like a younger sibling to her, and she doesn't want to mess up this time. I overreacted. I still feel mad for some reason, but I don't want to take it out on you. Just give me some space for a bit."
That made me smile a bit. Squirrelpaw wasn't still completely mad at me and accepted the rage was irrational. I gave her a reassuring nod before watching her depart to catch back up with the rest of Thunderclan. I decided to increase my pace as well, moving to join the frontrunners, Windclan. Having a Guardian present would help the clans feel more secure in the clans' decision to leave the forest. Of course, when I moved up to Windclan, a certain insufferable sire decided to harass me again with his idealism of me joining his clan. I am talking about the coward of which impregnated my mother, Onewhisker.
"Darkpaw! I knew you'd decide to join us eventually. After all, Windclan is the noblest of the clans. I can't wait to teach you to properly run." He began to rant.
I decided to cut him off. "Slow it down Onewhisker." I started before he interrupted me.
"You can call me dad." He tried to correct.
I shot him an annoyed look which he somehow didn't pick up before continuing. "Onewhisker." I mewed firmly. "I am not joining Windclan or any clan. I am a Guardian, which I will remain being until this crisis is over. Even then, I've got a longer history with Thunderclan. To just snub them after being with them so long is unimaginable. They were the ones that raised me, so they earned my loyalty."
Onewhisker seemed to dismiss me my opinion. "Oh, I'm sure you'd feel right at home in Windclan. You and Crowpaw got along so well. He could really use a friend like you, one willing to stand up to Mudclaw. Don't you just get that itch to run, the urge to just sprint forever. Every Windclan cat does, and you are of my blood. Thunderclan can never sooth that need. They'll never understand it. You can always join us. You can come home."
I had to bite back a hiss at Onewhisker's words. How could he just so brazenly ask me to betray all those I knew, all those I loved? Did he think I couldn't manage such a paltry urge. My desire to run was far overshadowed by the monochrome. Even then, Thunderclan's old territory had plenty of places where a cat could make a full sprint. It's from those runs that I learned how to duck and dodge while keeping my momentum. Plus, Thunderclan identified with me more. Thunderclan, above all other clans, is a combat-oriented clan. Thunderclan always craves a fight. We train harder than anyone else on how to outthink, out maneuver, and out muscle the other clans. There's a reason Thunderclan is the clan of heroes. We're just the ones best equipped fight a problem. Sure, Windclan will always be faster than us. Riverclan will always have the advantage of water, and Shadowclan will always be the stealthiest, but we're the best fighters, and my desire for blood suited this clan well.
I decided to make it clear so he could understand without a shadow of a doubt. "Onewhisker, I will never join Windclan. I've had my lifetime to come to know and love Thunderclan. You had your chance long ago, and you turned me away. There is no undoing that choice. Think of it like this. If you were out hunting and skipped a particularly plump hare because it was in a pointy thicket, you can't complain when someone or something else takes the chance and makes the catch. You can't just go back for it and expect it to be there. It's the same thing here. I was there for you to take, but you decided it wasn't worth the risk. Someone else decided I was, so they took the risk. You can regret your choice, but that won't change how things turned out. I am Thunderclan now, and that isn't something that will change. If you are going to do anything like a good parent, then listen to me now. Accept that I am no longer your son. Accept that we're just strangers who share blood. I'm willing to let you try and befriend me, but I will never let you parent me." I mewed vehemently.
Onewhisker stammered, trying to refute my claim. "But we share blood." He mewed as if that was a valid argument.
"Blood? Really? If blood was all it took to make me family, you would have brought me in when my mother asked. Blood is just a liquid. If I looked at the blood of thousands of cats, I would not be able to identify which one was mine or yours. We all bleed red. Bonds are what matters. I will always be able to recognize Smudgefoot's voice. I will never confuse the scent of Ravenfeather with anyone else. I know their love for me better than I know myself. This isn't something that's just given from birth. This is something earned through effort, dedication, and sacrifice. All you've done is attempt to care now that I'm acceptable. You would not fight for me like Smudgefoot, Ravenfeather, and Stonestep would. You would not risk your life to save mine. You proved that you weren't willing to risk yourself. I can't put my trust in you. If you want your own kits, then you'd better look for a molly willing to bear them. If there is a next time, put your kits before yourself. Prove you actually love them instead of seeing them as something to further yourself." I hissed back, finally letting the flood of emotions I'd kept contained leak out. There was far more of it that I could have unleashed, but I wanted Onewhisker to get just a taste. I didn't want to antagonize Windclan as a whole. Onewhisker took my words with stunned silence, eventually drifting away from me, giving me the breathing room I so desperately desired.