Archive of Our Own ^beta

“So let me get this straight,” Rody began, staring at Augustine in utter disbelief. “You and Winnie confessed your feelings for each other…”

Face buried in his hands, embarrassed beyond words, Augustine muttered, “...Yes.”

“Then when he held you in his arms, you expected him to kiss you.”

“...Mm.”

“But, instead of doing just that, he suddenly started babbling gibberish and just, what? Ran off? And left you at the school gates without any explanation?” 

“...Mhm.” 

Rody didn’t get a chance to continue before Forcas started cackling like a madman from where he was sitting next to Augustine. Rody gave him an unimpressed look, while Augustine sighed. 

Augustine was starting to wonder why he even asked Forcas to meet him as well if he was just going to make fun of him and Winnie the entire time, instead of actually trying to help him out with his crisis. 

After the incident which he’d just told Rody about, Augustine had stood outside the school gates, very sure he looked like an absolute idiot at that moment. He then regained his senses, and the first thing he decided to do was to reach out to Rody and Forcas. Rody had been in a relationship with Manon in the past, while Forcas was currently in a relationship. Thus, in the hopes that they would be able to help him, he asked if they could meet him at his place, and thankfully, even though it was really last-minute, both agreed. 

Actually, Augustine really wished he never even considered asking Forcas. He could never understand how their school president of all people actually fell for someone like him, jeez. 

Augustine really was hoping that Rody had some good advice for him, though. Yes, he’d given up on any hopes that Forcas was actually there to help him out. 

Rody paused, bringing his fist to his chin to hold it upright, making it look like he was deep in thought. “Uh, I mean, you could try calling hi-” 

“NO,” was Augustine’s instant response, his head shooting up so he could look at Rody. “I’d rather eat my own intestines than call Win and talk about it.”

“What? Why? Isn’t that an easy way to sort things out, clear up any confusion?” Rody asked, voice laced with mild confusion, furrowing his brows. 

“Because he’s scared of rejection, that’s why,” Forcas replied, shooting finger-guns at Augustine from where he was sitting next to them on Augustine’s bed, grinning. As much as Augustine didn’t want to admit it, Forcas hit the nail right on the head. He got it exactly right. 

“Rejection?? What do you mean by that? Didn’t you two confess to each other, though?? Why would he reject you when he likes you back?” Rody questioned, looking even more baffled than before. 

…Actually, Rody made a good point there. However, Augustine was a paranoid person. For all he knew, Winnie had said what he said on a whim, because he didn’t want to make Augustine upset. Maybe he had played along, until they nearly kissed, and then he got uncomfortable, which was why he hurried away. 

And because Forcas was a complete weirdo that could somehow read everyone like an open book, he answered for Augustine again, “Augustine’s an overthinker, as we all know. He’s probably paranoid as hell that Winnie just said that he liked him back because he didn’t wanna make Augustine sad. He probably thinks Winnie was just acting, but when they were about to kiss, that was when he got uncomfortable, hence why he started yapping away in God knows what language before running away.” 

Jeez, was the guy even human? How did he manage to read Augustine’s mind like that?? They weren’t even that close, so who knew how he was able to read him so easily. 

Rody narrowed his eyes. “...Uh, no, I don’t know that he’s an overthinker,” he muttered, raising a brow as he said so. He then turned to Augustine. “And you don’t know that. I’m not very close to Winnie, not as close as you are to him at least, but looking at him, I doubt he’d pull a move like that. If he didn’t like you back, I’m pretty sure that he’d just tell you that. He’d feel really bad about it, sure, but seriously, I don’t think he’d lie about his feelings like that. Knowing him, it’d be a ‘mean’ and ‘cruel’ thing to do. He was probably just nervous and jittery and chickened out at the last minute.” 

Augustine groaned. “Yeah, but you never know,” he countered. “Maybe he really does feel bad, and at the moment, he’d thought it was the best thing he could do to make me feel better. He’d know it’s a mean and cruel thing to do to me, but maybe he just thought it was the best option at hand at that moment.”

Rody sighed, massaging his temples like he was having the worst headache known to mankind. “Hasn’t he been your best friend since, what, you two were basically in your diapers?? Shouldn’t you know him better than Forcas or I should?? You of all people should know that Winnie isn’t that kind of person. I really think you two should call and talk things out, or meet up in-person to discuss things between you two. The sooner, the better, so that you two don’t have time to overthink things again, and go ‘Oh God, what if I messed up?’, and eventually one of you will tell the other that it had just been infatuation, nothing more, when clearly it isn’t. Don’t mess things up, Augustine. Just have a talk with Winnie, ask him why he ran away. Confirm your feelings towards him. That’s the best thing you can do. You don’t want to regret not talking to Winnie when you’re old and grumpy and thinking about the love of your life whom you were too scared to talk to, which is why Winnie would also be old and grumpy and thinking about you, too.” Sheepishly, Rody rubbed the back of his neck. “Sorry, that sounded better in my head. But, you get the point.” 

Forcas nodded in agreement. “Yeah, for sure! Just tell him what you feel! What’s there to be so scared of?” he exclaimed with a grin.

Augustine gave him a look. “You can talk, huh? Need I remind you about how you had been too much of a coward to confess to Norman, and after three years of your hopeless ass pining for him, he was the one that ended up confessing to you ?” he retorted. 

“That’s different!” Forcas protested. “Norman can be scary, y’know!? Unlike him, Winnie’s a nice and kind guy! Uh, not that I’m insulting Norman or anything…” 

Augustine sighed as he shook his head, turning serious again. “I don’t know, should I really try calling him…?” he muttered, returning to the main topic at hand, turning to Rody and Forcas for help. “What if he doesn’t want to talk about it? What if he says it was just a huge mistake or something?”

“Hey, you never know. You might as well just give it a shot, right?” Rody suggested, giving him a thumbs-up and an encouraging smile. 

“Yeah, man. You gotta trust Winnie on this one, I don’t think he’s that kind of person. You of all people should know that, too,” Forcas added, reaching out and slapping Augustine’s back heartily, nearly causing Augustine to fall on his face despite him sitting down. 

Augustine balanced himself and shot Forcas a glare, which Forcas ignored, before taking a deep breath. “...Fine, have it your way. I’ll try calling him to ask if we can meet up and talk about it,” he replied, a little reluctant. Nonetheless, he knew Rody was right and that he might as well try. He grabbed his phone from where it lay on his bedside desk. Rody and Forcas scooched closer towards him so they could peer over his shoulder to see what was on his screen. Augustine opened his messaging app and tapped on Winnie’s contact, the only pinned contact. He then collected himself and pressed the ‘voice call’ button. 

“It’s so over…” Winnie mumbled from where he was lying on his bed, face buried in his pillow. 

He heard Angelica sigh softly from where she was sitting next to him. She had been patting his back gently for quite some time now, like she was trying to comfort him but wasn’t sure how to. He didn’t blame her. She wasn’t an expert at romance or anything related to that matter, and most likely had no idea just how she was supposed to give him advice. 

The sound of his door creaking open echoed throughout the room. A second later, Winnie could hear footsteps approaching. 

“Hey, I brought some Haribo Gummy Bears to make you feel better,” came Myeong-hoon’s voice.

Winnie looked up, finding him hovering by the edge of his bed, a kind yet slightly unsure smile resting on his face. He turned, noticing that Angelica was staring at him, eyebrows knit together like she was thinking hard. She didn’t even realise that Winnie was staring right back at her. A part of him wondered what she was thinking about. 

He chose to ignore it for now and offer up something that somewhat resembled a smile at Myeong-hoon. “Yeah, thanks a lot,” he replied, sitting up and reaching up to grab the packet of gummy bears from him.

Myeong-hoon beamed. “No problem. Anything that helps,” he said, sitting down on Winnie’s bed as well. He paused before asking, “So, have you figured out what to do about the whole situation yet?” 

Upon hearing that, Winnie groaned. “No, not yet. I just don’t know what to do right now!” He opened up the packet of gummy bears and stuffed three all at once into his mouth, munching furiously. This was probably what people called ‘stress-eating’. He wasn’t a big stress-eater, but holy crap, this whole thing with Augustine was driving him nuts. Just thinking about what he should do to try to fix the problem made his head throb. 

“Why don’t you two just talk it out? You can just explain that you got nervous and chickened out at the last minute, and let him know that you really do like him. Just give him that reassurance, that comfort,” Myeong-hoon suggested gently, placing a hand on Winnie’s shoulder. 

“I would! But… I’m just too scared to do it…” Winnie sighed, grabbing two more gummy bears and shoving them into his mouth, chewing furiously like there was no tomorrow.  

“Hey, take it easy on the gummy bears,” Angelica said, finally looking up at the other two. “And, I agree with Myeong-hoon. Sit down with him, talk it out between the two of you. Assure him that you do love him, and that you only ran away because you got all jittery. Augustine will understand. He won’t judge you.”

“Yeah, I know that!! But I’m scared to do it!!” Winnie whined, setting down the packet of gummy bears on the bed (after grabbing a handful of it and stuffing it all into his mouth.) “I know Auggie is really nice and he won’t judge me, but I’m just too afraid of…” Actually, now that he thought about it, what was he so scared of? He himself knew that Augustine would never be mean about it and tell him he’d get it. But… oh dear. What if Augustine thought that he had been playing with him, lying about how he liked him back, but got uncomfortable when they were about to kiss, which was why he ran away. Oh God, Augustine probably thought that was the reason behind it all. Which was why, if Winnie were to man up and call him, Augustine would ignore his call because he’d think that Winnie just wanted to rub it in his face. His face paled at that thought. 

“Oh no, why are you turning all white now??” he heard Myeong-hoon ask, a tinge of worry in his tone, but his voice sounded distant and distorted, like he was hearing him speak from underwater. 

“Winnie, snap out of it,” Angelica said, though her voice sounded exactly the same as Myeong-hoon did. 

Winnie wasn’t listening to either of them, too focused on his own thoughts. What if Auggie hates me because he’s assuming that I was just playing with his feelings, or going along with him because I felt bad for him!? Even if I try calling him, what if he just ignores it or blocks me!? What if we never speak again!? What if he moves away and I never see him again for the rest of my life, just because I panicked and didn’t kiss him!? Oh God, oh God, oh GOD… 

He only returned to Earth when he heard the sound of something buzzing. He whirled around, finding his phone vibrating on his bed. Myeong-hoon and Angelica followed his gaze, also noticing that the person calling him was none other than Augustine Orlov. 

Winnie might just faint out of panic. 

“Deep breaths, Winnie. Just explain your side of the story to him, and you two will be fine,” Myeong-hoon said, taking the phone and handing it to Winnie.

“Mm. Talk it out with him. Let him know that you do love him a lot, and clear up any misunderstandings between you two. I’m sure the way you two see the situation at hand is very different from how it really is. Have a conversation with him about it. If you want, Myeong-hoon and I can leave you alone for privacy,” Angelica suggested, cracking a tiny smile. 

Winnie shook his head, managing a smile. “No, it’s fine! You guys can stay! Thanks a lot!” He didn’t let the words “because if you two leave and I’m alone with Auggie, I might just have a full-blown panic attack before I can even get a single word out” slip out. 

Taking a few deep breaths to attempt to collect his nerves, Winnie hesitantly pressed on the ‘accept call’ button, turning on the speaker mode so that Myeong-hoon and Angelica could hear their conversation as well. 

Without giving Augustine a chance to speak, he instantly exclaimed, “H-Hey, Auggie!! Uh, I’m sorry for calling you! It was a complete accident, haha…”

“...No, it’s fine. I was the one that called you, anyway,” Augustine replied from his end. Winnie instantly winced, realising his mistake. Damn, he was making himself look like an absolute fool! 

“...Ahaha, right! Uhm, so why’re you calling?” Winnie chose to ask, shifting the conversation toward the main topic at hand before he could further embarrass himself or freak out right there and then. 

“Right. Right. So… I was wondering if you’d like to meet up somewhere? So we can talk things out?” 

“Hmm? Oh yeah! Sure! Of course! I-I don’t mind!”

“Okay, see you then.” 

“Yeah, you too!! Bye!” Winnie exclaimed, hanging up after before the awkward conversation could be prolonged. 

“...You two didn’t discuss where to meet,” Angelica said after a moment of silence. 

Winnie’s eyes widened. “Crap, you’re right! My bad,” he said, opening up Augustine’s contact and sending him a quick text, asking him where they should meet. 

(“You forgot to tell him where to meet!” Rody pointed out to Augustine, as Forcas started laughing his ass off in the background, being very unhelpful in general. Seriously, why did he even come if he was barely going to help??  

“...Oh fuck,” was all Augustine said before finding Winnie’s contact and texting him the details.)

Winnie’s phone buzzed a moment later, revealing a text from Augustine, telling him to meet him at the park near their high school in thirty minutes. He read the message and responded with a sticker with the caption ‘OK!!’ before he buried his face in his pillow again, screaming into it. 

Myeong-hoon and Angelica shared a smile. Well, it could have turned out a lot worse, so that wasn’t too bad, at least. 

Now, they just had to drag Winnie off to the park so he could meet Augustine and they could discuss the matter at hand with each other. 

Eventually, Augustine had forced himself out of his room, along with Rody and Forcas. Rody had plans with Vincent, so after bidding farewell and wishing Augustine good luck, he left. Forcas, too, was going to hang out with Chase, thus they went their separate ways once they arrived at the park. 

Now, Augustine realised that he had no idea where to find Winnie. He’d told him to meet him at the park, yes, but he didn’t state where exactly they were supposed to meet. After a bit of thinking, he decided to sit down at a random bench and wait for Winnie to show up, since he was really early, anyway. 

He didn’t have to wait for too long. Eight minutes later, he heard the sound of hurried footsteps, which he knew all too well. He looked up, finding Winnie running towards him. Winnie was panting heavily, his sweater (why was he wearing a sweater in summer??) slipping off his shoulders, shoelaces untied. He plopped down next to Augustine, taking a few deep breaths to catch his breath. 

“S… Sorry, Auggie! A-Am I la… late?” 

“Nah, you’re not, don’t worry about it.”

“Phew, thanks!” 

An awkward silence then fell. Augustine knew that they had to address the elephant in the room eventually, but just how should he begin?? He had prepared a whole speech to tell Winnie while waiting for him to arrive, but now he’d forgotten everything he wanted to say, goddamnit. 

After another long moment of silence, he began, “I-” 

At the same time, Winnie said, “Auggie-”

They both trailed off, staring at each other. Instantly, both turned a rosy pink, avoiding eye contact. 

“I-It’s fine, go on,” Augustine prompted.

“No, you can go first! I’m fine with it!” Winnie responded. 

“No, seriously, you can start. I don’t mind waiting.”

“I don’t mind, either!”

“...’Kay, then I’ll start-”

“Yeah, sure, I’ll start firs- Oh, whoops. Uhm, carry on?” 

“No, it’s alright. Really, you can go first.”

“...You sure, Auggie?”

“Mm.”

Winnie took a deep breath, before he fully turned to face Augustine properly. Augustine couldn’t help but look at him as well, staring into his blue eyes. Ever since he was a child, Augustine had always found himself drawn to Winnie’s eyes, strangely fascinated with them. He could get lost in his eyes any time, anywhere. Something about his eyes was so captivating, so mesmerizing, that he always found it hard to look away, no matter how hard he tried to, like he was being hypnotised or under some kind of spell. This time, it was the same. Augustine couldn’t tear his gaze away from Winnie’s eyes. 

“...Sorry about running away like that, Auggie,” Winnie began, lips forming a small yet slightly anxious smile. “Don’t get me wrong. I wasn’t trying to play with your feelings or pretend to like you back because I felt bad for you! I really do like you a lot, Auggie, I promise! Everything I said earlier was true and genuine! I love you so, so much, Auggie! I’ll always love you forever, and even more after that! I don’t think I can ever stop loving you, even if you ever start hating me. I love everything about you, even your flaws! You’re not perfect, but that’s fine, because no one is. Nothing will change how I feel about you! You’re always going to be my number one! No one will be able to come close! Please believe me when I say that! I just got all nervous and started panicking, and for some reason I ran off without properly explaining things with you. So, I really am sorry if I caused you to feel upset in any way! It’s completely my fault for leaving you hanging like that without any explanation! I guess I was afraid of doing so…? Yeah, I’m really, really sorry, Auggie.”

Augustine returned the smile, still looking into Winnie’s eyes. “It’s fine. I mean, I really did start wondering if you just started playing along because you were guilty, and felt uncomfortable when we were about to… y’know… which is why you ran away. I know what you said was genuine, at least, I hope that what you said was genuine. I trust you, anyway. I like you a lot, too. You’re like the universe to me. You mean the world to me, and I don’t think it’s possible for me to love someone more than I love you. You’re too good for me, and I honestly don’t think I deserve your love, but… it does make me happy to know that someone as undeserving as me has a best friend like you, let alone you liking me too. Rody figured that that was the reason why you ran off. I understand, don’t worry. I was nervous as hell at that point in time, too. So don’t stress about it too much, because I fully understand where you’re coming from. I’ll admit I was upset, but I should have known better than to question you, especially when I’ve known you for basically my whole life. Like I said, it’s fine that you didn’t explain yourself. You said it yourself, you just panicked and ran away because that was the first thing you could think of doing. So, don’t be sorry about it. You did nothing wrong.”

Winnie reached out and poked Augustine’s shoulder. “Hey. First things first, you’re so much better than me! You’re not just my best friend or the person I love, you’re my idol and the person I look up to the most! If anything, I’m the one that doesn’t deserve your love! You’re the best person I’ve ever met! And, number two, I feel bad about it!! That’s why I’m apologising! I’m so sorry, Auggie!!” he exclaimed, smile widening. 

Augustine couldn’t help but grin as well. It was so easy to smile around Winnie, just as easy as breathing was. “No, you’re the bester one between us two,” he replied.

“Nuh uh, you’re the bestest!”

“No, you are.”

“Nuh uh!”

“Yuh huh.”

“Okay, fine! How about we’re both the bestest?”

“Hmm, that’s far, I guess.” 

They sat in silence, though it wasn’t awkward like it was earlier. It was a comfortable kind of silence. It was always this way when Augustine was around Winnie. 

Winnie turned to him again, cheeks flushed as he asked, “So, uh, do you wanna…? Finish what we started…?”

“...” Augustine knew exactly what he was referring to, and he felt his face heat up as well as he spun around to look at Winnie. “U-Uh, sure. I don’t mind…” 

He didn’t get to finish his sentence, as a second later, cool lips captured his own, Winnie’s hands reaching out and cupping his face.

Honestly, Augustine didn’t know what to expect. Most of the romance books he’d read, which really wasn’t a lot, maybe five at the most, had kissing scenes, of course. And they were all… well, how should he say this? Hot, sweaty, messy, and way, way too much tongue and saliva for his liking. It genuinely grossed him out and just made him feel extremely uncomfortable whenever he thought of it. 

But with Winnie, things were so different. Instead, this kiss was sweet, soft, and gentle. Kissing Winnie was a thrilling sensation, making Augustine feel dizzy and high. Like he had ascended and gone to Heaven. Hell, it was ten times, no, scratch that, make it a hundred times, better than seeing those pearly white gates when his time was up. Everything just felt so surreal, like he was dreaming. Like at any moment, he would just wake up and realise everything had been a delusion. However, Augustine knew that he was very much awake, that he was with the love of his life, someone whom he could always be himself with, someone who would never judge him and would accept him for who he was. 

Winnie pulled away first, which disappointed Augustine a little. However, the disappointment soon faded away when Augustine got a proper glimpse at Winnie. 

The blonde looked so beautiful . He had the biggest grin Augustine had ever seen on his face, eyes shining brighter than even the brightest star in the galaxy. Augustine’s stomach flipped as he stared at him with what he was sure was the most lovesick look on his face. He mentally captured this moment and etched it into his mind. He didn’t want to forget this expression on Winnie’s face. 

Winnie suddenly tackled him, causing him to shriek in panic. “I love you, Auggie!!” he exclaimed cheerily, wrapping his arms around Augustine.

“Wh- huh!?” Augustine yelped, almost falling off the bench but thankfully managing to balance both himself and Winnie. “Yeah, l-love you too.” 

Winnie beamed as he pressed a kiss onto Augustine’s temple, happy and satisfied with his response. 

They remained in that position for a long time, both falling into yet another comfortable silence. 

During that time of silence they had, Augustine reflected back on what had happened over the past few minutes. He couldn’t help but smile as he thought back to their conversation earlier. 

“I’ll always love you forever!” That was what Winnie had promised him earlier, sounding so truthful, so eager as he said those words. 

Augustine wasn’t sure if there was such a thing, if ‘forever’ really existed. However, that was fine. He knew Winnie loved him now, and he was perfectly content with that. What mattered was the present, with Winnie in his arms. 

And, if something like forever really did exist… Well, then Augustine would always long for Winnie, he’d always adore him, even after their time in the world had expired.