Chapter Text
Several years after the rebuilding of the Heavenly Capital
Humans are undoubtedly the most resilient species on the planet. In the span of merely 5 years or so, most citizens of the Royal Capital had forgotten that the Heavenly Emperor Jun Wu nearly annihilated the lot of them. Of course, they were also under the impression that the heavenly officials (and ghost kings) who fought to defend them were merely highly skilled cultivators.
Oxen ploughed the fields by sunrise, fishermen hauled in their catch by sunset, mothers tucked their children in at night and whispered a little prayer to the gods. A day of absurdity was just a funny story to be shared while drinking, and nothing more.
As for the heavenly officials, bickering and petty squabbling reigned supreme in the Heavenly Capital. They were now a thunder of headless dragons after the previous Heavenly Emperor's imprisonment, with everyone itching to fill the power vacuum. However, no one wanted to be the first to volunteer themselves. That was simply too gauche and unbecoming of an esteemed heavenly official.
It was during the 8234623rd meeting to decide on who will be the next Heavenly Emperor when a Brocade Immortal wearing Ling Wen demanded that no one leave the Great Martial Hall until there was a unanimous decision on the candidate. The endless dilly-dallying on this issue was causing unacceptable backlogs in paperwork.
"I nominate Noble Jie. Who else in this hall can claim to know all the comings and goings of the Heavenly Capital, yet keep track of every record meticulously? Surely nothing shall escape Noble Jie's watchful eye." Pei Ming's response was instantaneous.
".....General Pei is most generous with his praise. However, I do recall that it was General Pei who first charged forward to stop His Highness Jun Wu. In fact, General Pei continued to fight an unwinnable battle until the Lord Rain Master relieved him. Such courage and battle prowess is most suited and required of the new Heavenly Emperor"
The rest of the hall sighed in unison. Once Pei Ming and Ling Wen started their passive aggressive praise war, there was no stopping them,
Another voice called out, "What about His Highness the Crown Prince?"
Xie Lian answered, "Hahahaha....thank you but I'm not really interested in ruling, besides why would General Qi Ying even think that I'm suited for such high office?"
In fact, Xie Lian was content with his little (not so little now) Puqi Shrine and spending time with his San Lang. Certainly he did not want to become a glorified babysitter of rambunctious children masquerading as heavenly officials.
"Your Highness defeated His Highness Jun Wu. That is sufficient reason." Everyone sighed again, of course the fluffy child with a one track mind would think that martial prowess is the only factor to decide if someone was fit to rule.
"But I do agree that His Highness has a temperament most suited for ruling. This one can vouch for that, His Highness's counsel was invaluable as my Guoshi." Lang Qianqiu added.
Xie Lian's smile grew more awkward. "Well, I had a lot of help for that actually, both the counsel part and the defeating His Highness Jun Wu part..." He got interrupted by Mu Qing who loudly proclaimed that "His Highness spends more time in the Ghost City than the Heavenly Capital, perhaps His Highness feels that entertaining the Lord Crimson Rain is a better use of His Highness's precious time."
Of course, Feng Xin just had to reply that "Lord Crimson Rain is certainly more entertaining than you who can have a squabble even with your own fucking shadow."
They were once again at an impasse. 6 incense time later, everyone remained trapped in the Great Martial Hall but a number of swords were drawn, several chairs and tables were broken, and a pile of paperwork had gotten shredded.
"Your Lordships! I have a solution to our troubles!"
Everyone spun around to look at Xie Lian. He had fished out a tattered scroll from god knows where and was waving it around.
"NO ONE CAN READ THIS SHIT!! WHAT IS THIS CURSED SCRIPT??!!! IS THIS A CURSED RELIC FROM THAT FUCKING CRIMSON RAIN???!!!!" Feng Xin started yelling immediately!
"MAYBE IT IS JUST YOU WHO IS ILLITERATE!!!!!" Mu Qing fired back.
To prevent further destruction of property, Xie Lian called forth Ruoye to grab hold of the arguing duo and forcefully separated them before further elaborating. "Generals Xuan Zhen and Nan Yang, do calm down please or we may need to have idiom trains right here. San Lang obtained this rare scroll from a land far away from us, somewhere called Imperium Romanum. Unfortunately I do not know how to read this too, but San Lang was kind enough to translate the gist of its contents to me. It speaks about a form of governance called a democracy, wherein a number of us rule at the same time, instead of having one Heavenly Emperor."
"THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!?!?!?! THAT WE ARE TO RULE TOGETHER AS EQUALS?!?!!?! AND YOUR HIGHNESS THINKS THAT IS A GOOD IDEA???" Feng Xin's eyes darted back and forth from Quan Yizhen who had fallen asleep and was openly drooling on Lang Qianqiu's robes, to Pei Ming who had long since lost interest and appeared to be illustrating an obscene novel, to Mu Qing who looked like he would rather jump into the lava at Mount Tonglu than be part of the discussion, and back to the hapless Xie Lian who was still trying in vain to to justify his radical proposal.
"I do not think I would be exaggerating if I were to say that all of the esteemed Lords here are most capable and uniquely qualified to be the Heavenly Emperor. Since everyone is qualified, I propose that we form a council and rule as a whole, rather than having only one voice to speak for us. After all, the previous Heavenly Emperor's misdeeds were concealed for so long because no one questioned His Highness's decisions."
Another voice rang out above all. "Be it many rulers, or only one, it is a good system if it benefits the three worlds".
Everyone jumped upon hearing the Lord Rain Master's interjection. No one had actually noticed her presence in this meeting, but if it was important enough for Yushi Huang to speak for the first time, this proposal must have its merits.
In the end, the heavenly officials agreed. Having a conventional system did not help them at all the last time, so why not try something new? After 8 incense time, the list of council members was finalised and comprised of the heavenly officials who had proved themselves during the battle with Jun Wu namely His Highness the Crown Prince Xie Lian, General Xuan Zhen, General Nan Yang, General Ming Guang, General Qi Ying, General Tai Hua, the Lord Rain Master and Ling Wen Zhen Jun who was indispensable as the Number One Civil Goddess despite having helped Jun Wu.
"There are 8 of us...what happens if there is an equal vote?" wondered Xie Lian. His eyes drifted to a conspicuous empty seat next to the Earth Master seat which also remained empty after the Black Water Affair.
"Well, I guess he will be back soon."
Around 300 years after the formation of the Heavenly Council
The Heavenly Council wasn't such a bad idea after all. Since there was no tiebreaker, the council members were compelled to find common ground to resolve disputes. As a result, everyone was motivated to reduce the number of grievances brought up to avoid being trapped in the Great Martial Hall for ages.
Everything was going so well, no one noticed that no new heavenly officials had ascended for the past 200 years. To be fair, this was no cause for alarm. Just like how the tides rose and fell everyday, some generations produced countless geniuses while some generations were mediocre. Years of war produced numerous martial gods, while years of peace produced more civil gods.
One fine day, the grand old bell tolled for the first time in many years. The remarkable part was that the tolling sounded like wind chimes.
Despite being newly ascended, this heavenly official's robes looked as though he had been rolling on the ground and fighting with dogs. However, his face was as clear as a spring breeze, and his missing arm and crippled leg did not stop him from running? hopping? towards His Highness the Crown Prince!
Xie Lian smiled. "Welcome back Lord Wind Master Qingxuan. We have been expecting Your Lordship for a while now."
"Aiya, what is Your Highness talking about! We visit each other all the time down there! Besides, I'm no longer the Wind Master."
It was then everyone noticed, the ex Lord Wind Master was not holding a fan, but a long bamboo stick instead.
"This Qingxuan, King of Beggars, Lord of Vagabonds and the down and out; greets the esteemed heavenly officials. This one heard that Your Lordships needed a tiebreaker for the heavenly council?"
Around 500 years after the formation of the Heavenly Council
Other than Shi Qingxuan, no one had ascended for the past 500 years.
The heavenly officials were aware that some shift in cultivation politics was going on in the mortal world but then again; humans were by nature warmongering creatures. Oceans rise, empires fall, this was just how fate worked. The martial gods granted more blessings, the civil gods had more paperwork to update as the number of deaths increased. This was still no cause for alarm, until Lang Qianqiu discovered the body of a Xuanwu of Slaughter while patrolling around Qishan.
Shortly after that, Feng Xin reported that a great pile of resentful energy near Yiling seemed to have dissipated overnight.
Even Hua Cheng mentioned to Xie Lian that the wandering ghosts seemed to be unusually docile. Someone was definitely making waves out there, and there is now a betting pool to gamble on which clan would the newly ascended heavenly official hail from. Xie Lian bet 10 merits that it would not be Lanling Jin.
The Palace of Lingwen was looking into the matter but was woefully shorthanded. It seemed like the heavenly officials just had to wait for fate to take its course.
The First Siege of the Burial Mounds
"San Lang, stop it! I cannot afford to pay for repairs!" Xie Lian playfully whispered.
"Don't worry Gege, your San Lang can rebuild this Heavenly Capital a thousand times over". Now that Hua Cheng was officially granted access as an esteemed visitor together with Lord Black Water for their contributions during the Battle of the Royal Capital and the ensuing chaos, he would not stop lording it over the heavenly officials. (Xie Lian, Shi Qingxuan and surprisingly Pei Ming who claimed that he needed to observe Hua Cheng interacting with Xie Lian for research were the main lobbyists for this.)
Hua Cheng continued, "Please Gege, let's recreate the Kidnapping of the Crown Prince from the Heavenly Palace by the Accursed Crimson Rain. You were so beautiful that day, like a blushing maiden waiting for her husband to sweep her off her feet. Those two idiots could have never stopped me from whisking Gege away, not in a thousand years."
He was cut off by Xie Lian who looked embarrassed and intrigued at the same time. "San Lang, if we are to do that, can we at least use an unoccupied palace......what on earth is General Qi Ying doing?"
"Gege, why are you looking at others when your San Lang is right here? Is San Lang not to your taste anymore......what is that fluffy child doing?"
For once, General Qi Ying was not beating up his followers or chasing after His Highness Yin Yu. His eyes were glued to an array connected to the mortal world. Xie Lian had never seen him so focused on something other than Yin Yu.
"General Qi Ying, what is this array? I have not encountered something like this." Xie Lian asked.
"Shhhhh, my followers are about to burn someone alive and scatter their ashes to the wind. Then they are going to string up an entire village and parade their bodies, then let dogs consume the remains." Quan Yizhen sounded like he was merely commenting on the weather.
"What?" echoed two voices.
"Don't worry Your Highness, if they actually do that, I will go down and beat them up immediately. I have been following this drama for the whole week, I will not hesitate to punish my followers. Shixiong always taught me to uphold justice."
"Never mind the beating up, what's this about burning someone alive and desecrating corpses?!" Xie Lian did not know whether to laugh or cry.
Before he could question Quan Yizhen further, the grand old bell started tolling like crazy! It was comparable to Xie Lian's third ascension when the bell fell off and hit a number of heavenly officials and golden palaces.
"Your Lordships! Your Lordships! 3 newly ascended heavenly officials, a village, a child holding on to General Nan Yang's legs, a radish patch, and a donkey have appeared in front of the Great Martial Hall!"
Xie Lian looked at Hua Cheng, the junior official running around like a chicken with its head cut off, Quan Yizhen, and Hua Cheng again. This time, he really did not know whether to laugh or cry.