Archive of Our Own ^beta

“What do you mean it isn’t our call?” Margaret Buckley asked, looking scandalized. “He is our son!”

“Fine,” Phillip said, putting a reassuring hand on his wife’s shoulder, “fine. Maddie, please sign off on this.”

“She’s not his medical proxy either.” Dr. Geyer said, still blocking them from entering Buck’s room.

“Then who is?” Phillip demanded.

“There are two; Robert Nash and Edmundo Diaz.” The doctor said certainly, looking over where Bobby and Eddie were standing together. “If you will both come with me, I’d like to go over all the options and what is currently happening with my patient.” 

“Of course.” Bobby nodded, putting a firm hand on Eddie’s shoulder to steady him. He looked wrecked. 

“We’ll be here when you get back, baby.” Athena said, squeezing his hand. “We’re not goin’ anywhere.”

“They aren’t family!” Margaret exclaimed tearfully.

“Mom, you need to calm down.” Maddie urged. “They are Buck’s chosen family. Eddie is his partner and Bobby has been a mentor and father figure to him since they met. You can argue it all you want, but Buck made his choices. Please, let’s wait in the waiting room or you can go back to our place or your hotel. I can call you with an update.”

“Why are you not mad about this?” Margaret asked irritatedly.

“Because I love my brother.” Maddie said firmly, her lip wobbling a little. “I love him- so much. But I have also hurt him before. I have left him. He didn’t put me down so that I wouldn’t have to worry about making this kind of a decision about or for him if it came to it. Especially after he knew about Daniel. Bobby is more of a father than he has ever had in his life, and don’t you dare argue with me about it because you know it’s true. And Eddie chose Buck, Evan, of all people, to be his coparent. Eddie made my little brother a father and gave him the most precious gift in the world when he gave him his own son. I know that you still see him as some- some irresponsible kid. But you are not in a place to talk badly about him. These people he works with are more his family than even I was at times. You have no idea what he’s done for them, what they’ve done for him.”

“Please sit down and Eddie and Bobby will let us know what we need to, after they talk to the doc.” Chim said carefully, stepping up to Maddie’s side. “That man in there, fighting for his life-” Chim sucked in a breath and let it go slowly, “he saved mine. It was supposed to be me up on the ladder. Not him. And I can’t deal with helping keep you calm along with trying to keep myself together while my brother fights for his life.”

That seemed to shut them up and Bobby and Eddie followed the doctor into Buck’s room. It was just … it was so hard to see him there like that even after a few days. Lying there with so many tubes and wires hooked up to him. Eddie let out a barely audible wounded noise and quickly cleared his throat to try and hide it.

“His neural activity looks promising.” The doctor assured them. “We are tracking everything, he’s not deteriorating, and he’s currently stable. But he is still in a coma.”

“What is your recommendation?” Bobby croaked, still holding onto Eddie and using him as his lifeline to keep from collapsing beside the bed and clinging to Buck’s hand. 

“We can leave him on the ventilator, see if he comes out of it on his own. Or. We can take a chance and take him off of it. His body is functioning as it should aside from breathing. If we remove the tube and he doesn’t breathe on his own, we can re-intubate and give him a few more days and see how it plays out while tracking his brain activity. He’s strong. Every sign points to him waking up.”

“Can we discuss it for a minute?” Bobby asked, attempting a smile when the doc nodded and left.

“I can’t.” Eddie rasped, sounding ready to break down. “Bobby, I can’t do it.”

“Hey,” Bobby waited until Eddie could look at him, “Buck’s a fighter. Always has been. He is not going to stay trapped in some coma when we’re all here waiting for him. All of us. But he needs to be able to do some of the work himself. That means taking him off the ventilator. And I know it scares you. Hell, it terrifies me, too. But he was there for us when we needed him.”

“What?” Eddie asked in confusion.

“During Buck’s probationary year.” Bobby said hesitantly, looking at Buck and stepping closer, unable to not touch him. He took Buck’s hand and squeezed it gently. “I had only been Captain for a little over a year myself when this … punk kid came in. He was the stereotypical frat guy from any and every American movie ever made, put together. But that’s how he wanted us to see him. I made a book, before coming here. A list of names of everyone who died in the fire that I lost my family to. Forty seven names. The thing is, I had a plan. I planned to save as many people as I’d killed to settle my ledger. And once I reached that I was going to take my own life.” Eddie looked up at him horrified. “Buck stopped me. He found the book, confronted me about it. I even threw the idiot kid up against the wall for invading my privacy. But he didn’t stop, didn’t back down. We had a bad call. I … relapsed. I woke up in my desolate apartment to Hen and Buck standing over me in the bathtub with the shower on. This kid, he told me that if I needed help, that all I had to do was say the word. So I did. I trusted him and Hen to get me through that. Buck made sure I had time to get to meetings. He checked in with me constantly about how they went, how I was feeling. I was so pissed about it for a while that I gave him all the worst jobs I could think of at the station. But he just held his head high and did them without argument. He was so strong for me, for a man he barely knew at the time. Now it’s … it’s our turn to be that for him.”

“I called him.” Eddie croaked. “When … when I felt like I was gonna break again after finding out what happened to the people in my unit. After Christopher called him about my first breakdown, he made me promise to call. He just … he came over, started making cookies, dozens of them, talking the whole time. He spent at least two hours telling me about komodo dragons and their habitat. I-” Eddie swallowed, visibly still struggling, trying not to break down, “he didn’t even question me when I told him about my will.”

“What about it?” Bobby encouraged, pulling Eddie’s hand and moving so he could hold Buck’s instead while he talked. 

“If anything happens to me, Buck has legal guardianship and power of attorney over me and Christopher.” Eddie rushed out quietly. Bobby stared at him for a minute. It … was a shock to him that it wasn’t a shock. “I know he sees himself as a back-up parent, but he’s not, Bobby.”

“Then we need to give him the chance to fight to come back to us. To come back so you can tell him that.” Bobby said certainly. “Because Buck is the most stubborn person I’ve ever met. He’ll do it. He’ll tear down Heaven’s gates if he needs to to be back with us.”

“I could see that.” Eddie snorted, wiping at his face. “Ok. Ok. But, tomorrow, though. Not- not right now.”

“Tomorrow.” Bobby agreed, reaching up and squeezing Eddie’s shoulder once more. He nodded at the door and the doc came back in. “What time in the morning would you like us to be here for removing the tube?”

“I think if we go for seven am, that would give us time to make sure we have time for him to get an MRI or ct scan. Anything else additional, should it be needed.” 

“We’ll be here.” Bobby nodded. “Thank you for being so … patient about earlier.”

“Unfortunately, this is not the first complicated family matter I’ve dealt with before.” The doc offered a tired smile. “However, if they get worked up again, they will be escorted from the premises. And they won’t be allowed to see my patient without an additional party present.”

“That’s fine.” Eddie sniffled, clearing his throat. “Thank you.”

The doc nodded and left them alone again. Bobby squeezed Eddie’s shoulder once more and left him alone for a moment. He grinned as he spotted Carla Price down the hall distracting a nurse so that Christopher could sneak by. Bobby held the door open for him and let it close when Carla thanked the nurse and walked away, stopping outside the door where Eddie was trying very hard not to let his son see him cry. But Christopher was holding Buck’s arm and leaning over and saying something to him. Talking to him. Carla put a hand over her mouth as she fought her own tears. 

“Oh, Buckeroo.” She whispered. “That boy loves you so much.”

Bobby left her to watch the boys and went to talk to everyone. Because there was no way Eddie would be able to. Not after listening to whatever his son was saying to his best friend. 

“How was he?” Maddie asked, spotting him first.

“So far so good.” Bobby said carefully waiting for everyone to gather, which didn’t take long. “His neural activity is normal, and aside from his lungs, everything is functioning as it should. After some talking, we’re going to meet with the doc in the morning and see if he can breathe on his own.”

“You’re taking him off the ventilator?” Ravi asked anxiously.

“All signs point to this being a normal coma. That once they take the tube out, they fully believe he’ll be breathing on his own. Eddie and I have to be here. We will update everyone with what happens and how he’s doing after.” Bobby promised.

“I’ll be here, too.” Maddie said tearfully. “I need to be.”

“Those of you not working or not on a leave of absence are welcome to be here or even just drop in to visit. We’ll know more after the tube is removed, though.”

“How’s Eddie?” Hen asked carefully, looking toward the area that led to Buck’s room.

“He’ll be ok.” Bobby assured her. “As soon as Buck opens his eyes after taking his own breaths, Eddie will be fine. He’s struggling right now because-”

“Because this is eerily like how he lost his wife.” Chim finished for him. 

“He doesn’t want his son to lose another parent.” Bobby agreed. “And none of us can deny that that is what Buck is to Christopher. So. If you’re staying, maybe take a trip home to freshen up or bring something by that can comfort Buck once he’s awake. If not, keep your phones on you and you’ll know tomorrow morning what happened.”

He saw Eddie, Christopher and Carla leave after a few minutes, everyone giving them hugs or patting their backs. Bobby went and sat with Buck for a little while, Athena sitting right beside him. He knew he should probably go home and rest or shower, but he’d gone home earlier, maybe it was the day before, to shower and get clean clothes, but he’d nearly panicked the entire time he was so far away. Athena and May had each stopped by and brought him food when he didn’t feel like he could go further than the parking lot, too terrified that going farther from Buck would mean he was alone. 

Bobby took a deep breath, blinking rapidly a few times as Eddie came in with a few coffees, looking as if he hadn’t slept at all. He probably hadn’t. Bobby didn’t even know he’d drifted off. Athena kissed his head and stood up, offering her seat to Eddie before sighing heavily and patting his arm, leaving them alone. Bobby got up and took the coffees, setting them on the table and pulled him in for a tight hug. Eddie let out a shuddering breath and squeezed Bobby back, clearing his throat as he stepped away and kept his eyes trained on Buck. 

When the doc finally came in, along with a few nurses, Bobby did most of the talking. He’d reach over every so often and squeeze Eddie’s arm when it seemed like he wasn’t breathing as everyone moved around the room and prepared to take the tube out. He glimpsed out the door and saw that apparently Phillip and Margaret were now present. They didn’t matter right now, though. Because Eddie had a vice grip on his arm as the doctor finally put the clipboard aside and started touching the tube to remove it. Bobby sucked in a breath as the doctor glanced at them both, nodding as he removed the final piece and the machines continued beeping while Buck lay there after letting out a long slow breath. 

Bobby prayed silently. He prayed and prayed and prayed as hard as he could …

And Buck took a small breath after what felt like an entire lifetime, setting up for another, and suddenly he was breathing on his own. Bobby barely caught Eddie as his knees gave out from under him and he heaved in a gasping, choked breath. The doctor didn’t even give them a second glance, just working around Buck and double checking all of his vitals. Bobby levered Eddie up into the chair beside the bed carefully, once the area was clear for them to move closer. 

“He will probably sleep for another hour or so, but we expect he’ll wake up by midmorning at the latest. Don’t hesitate to press the call button if you notice anything worrying.” 

“Thank you, doc.” Bobby said sincerely, wiping the tears off his face, but not able to look away from Buck. Buck, who was breathing on his own. 

They sat there for a few hours, just watching Buck breathe and twitch a little in his sleep. A big inhale and exhale drew their attention and they were sitting up straighter. His eyelids flickered, as if he were trying to open his eyes. 

“Come on, Buck.” Bobby whispered, still gripping his rosary firmly. “Open those eyes, son.”

“Mm.” Buck groaned, rolling his head toward Bobby’s voice. 

“Take your time.” Eddie rasped, squeezing Buck’s arm and rubbing his thumb along it in a soothing motion. 

“Pops?” Buck croaked, swallowing thickly as he blinked and opened his eyes, unfocused until they landed on Bobby and then Eddie. “Eds. Hey, guys.”

“Welcome back.” Bobby said sincerely.

“W’s I sleepin’ long?” Buck asked, swallowing thickly. 

“Long enough.” Bobby reached over and patted his leg. “Want some water?”

“Yeah.” Buck nodded, shifting and sitting up a bit more. His hands were a little unsteady as he accepted the cup of water and took a few sips. A few minutes later the doc and a nurse came in and started asking him questions and testing his cognitive and neural responses, his stimuli, making sure he was ok. He was looking tired when it was over, and slumped down when it was just the three of them again. 

Eddie never took his hand off Buck’s arm, like he was afraid to stop touching him or something. 

Bobby smiled up at the door when he noticed everyone waiting outside with balloons or stuffed animals, all looking anxious and excited. He patted Eddie’s shoulder and opened the door letting them in. Buck turned and saw them, smiling with his entire body somehow, blushing at the smiles coming in to see him. Christopher was the first one to reach him, unsurprisingly. Buck picked him up over the side of the bed (Bobby helped) and pulled him close to his side, kissing his head. Maddie leaned over and pressed her forehead against Buck’s, both of them smiling, even though Maddie had tears dripping onto Buck’s face. 

“It’s good to see you guys.” Buck said happily, arms still wrapped around Chris who was leaning all of his weight against him. 

“It’s good to see you awake.” Chim said, wiping his own tears away. “But I swear, Buck, you better never do that to me again.”

“I’ll take it under advisement.” Buck grinned, reaching an arm out and pulling Chim into a half hug over Chris. 

“You better.” Hen said sternly as she could while leaning over to kiss his head once Chim moved aside. 

“So? Who helped Chris with his homework while I was asleep?” Buck asked, looking around and smirking when Chris snorted in amusement. 

“Why wouldn’t his father help him?” Margaret asked in confusion, drawing Buck’s attention to the fact they were there. Buck frowned at them.

“Why are you here?” Buck asked curiously. 

“Our family is here.” Phillip said defensively.

“Right.” Buck drawled, dragging the word out. “I guess I meant what got you to step foot in a hospital finally? I mean, Maddie was in the hospital for a week when Doug died. I was in the hospital for a month when our ladder truck was blown up, followed by another week after I had a pulmonary embolism a few months later. I was in and out of hospitals all the time I lived in Hershey and I would always end up signing off on things myself and getting a ride home from a nurse or meeting you in the parking lot.”

“We already told you.” Margaret said tearfully. 

“You aren’t good with hospitals.” Buck recited. “Which is why I’m confused about you being here now.”

“We were with Maddie when she was notified you were injured on the job.” Phillip said stiltedly.

“I know that.” Buck said with a heavy sigh. “Because you were here to see her and Chim and Jee. Maddie is the reason you even started coming out to LA to begin with. Which is fine, Maddie’s amazing. I know that … that you thought a few visits out here, some awkward small talk, something, would apparently fix what’s wrong in our family. But it won’t. I … had a lot of time to think, while I was sleeping. And I’m … I’m tired of being the one to put so much effort into rebuilding something that never existed to begin with.”

“We did what you asked, with the therapy thing.” Margaret defended.

“You came to one session and yelled at me for an hour for being too selfish and self centered to consider the pain you were in after Daniel died.” Buck said quietly. 

“You what?” Maddie breathed, looking at their parents in shock.

“It’s fine, Maddie.” Buck waved her off, looking so much at ease that Bobby couldn’t help the small smile on his face. He’d come a long way from letting what other people, especially his parents, had to say about him affect him. “I asked who was helping Chris, because that’s usually what I do. Eddie almost always distracts him so much that they spend the time laughing or gossiping instead of actually writing answers to worksheets or whatever. He can run the timer when Chris is doing timed problems, but that’s pretty much it. Carla helps with math, I help with everything else.”

“And you two still end up giggling and gossiping together as much as you say I do.” Eddie said, speaking up for the first time. 

“I tried, honey.” Carla said, holding her hands up in exasperation. “I really did. But that boy would barely focus on anything until he knew his Buck was alright.”

“I had Carla help distract the nurse.” Chris said quietly. “Because I had to talk to you.”

“Christopher,” Buck let out a heavy sigh and just hugged the boy closer, “you gotta stop doing things I would do. Your dad is gonna yell at me at some point.” Chris giggled and patted Buck’s arms that were wrapped around him.

“Christopher, honey,” Maddie said, fighting back a smile, “please, please do not bring your cousin Jee into any of your adventures. None of us could handle having more than one Buck, and you are already more than half as mischievous as he was.”

“No promises.” Chris sighed dramatically, making everyone laugh. Eddie just groaned and put his hand on his face. He looked like he was trying not to laugh. 

“I should never have let you two meet.” Eddie finally said, letting out a breath.

“Please.” Carla snorted, Eddie giving her a betrayed look. “Buckeroo has had you wrapped around his finger since the day you met. I remember your face when he introduced us.”

“Carla-” Buck said, sitting up a little, but he sank back down when she gave him a stern look. Bobby was curious, but looked back at Carla who was now squaring off and glaring at the Buckley’s.

“Now I don’t know much about your parenting, as it was. But what I do know? Is that Evan Buckley is one of the best young men I’ve had the pleasure of meeting in my life. The woman I worked for years ago brought him into my life. I got to see him fall in love for the first time. And I had to watch his heartbreak when he realized it was over. I watched him become an amazing firefighter. I watched this world try to break him over and over again.” Carla took a deep breath to calm herself down. “So. This is what’s gonna happen; you are gonna be polite, you are going to be kind, and you will not interfere with the family he built, giving him comfort and assurance that they all love him. Maybe none so much as the Diaz family, but they all do.”

“And Evan is just ok with you talking to his parents that way?” Phillip asked, crossing his arms defensively. 

“Oh no. He has no say in this. I heard about all the dinners and conversations from drunken rambling when he and his sister would have their wine nights and yell at the tv. I told him a long time ago that he better hope I never met you or I wouldn’t be able to stop from speaking my mind. I’ve said my piece, now. If you can’t follow those guidelines I gave you, there’s the door. But on that note,” Buck gave her a sheepish smile as she turned to him, “I told you, both of you,” she gestured to Eddie who looked just as sheepish, “that I’m done with visiting you in hospitals.”

“Mother nature just has it out for him, Carla.” Eddie offered.

“Mmhmm.” She hummed, giving him an unimpressed look. 

After a long minute of Phillip and Margaret Buckley looking around the room at everyone there, everyone watching Buck cuddle Christopher who was finally starting to at least pretend to be annoyed by it, looking at him adoringly, they nodded and left. 

“You handled that well, kiddo.” Bobby praised, grinning when Buck blushed.

“I’ve been told recently that I have to learn to stick to my boundaries more.” Buck snorted, giving Christopher a look.

“You do.” Chris agreed. “Dad agrees you’re a pushover.”

“Ah ah ah, I said he was a pushover for you, buddy. That’s not the same.”

“He’s a pushover for you too.” Chris argued.

“Let’s not focus on that.” Buck interjected. “Let’s focus on everyone being petty to my parents who felt the need to make the first visit to me in a hospital when I was 30 years old.”

“Whatever you say, Buck.” Eddie smirked, winking at Chris who laughed. 

Bobby smiled as Athena leaned into him, both happy that Buck was awake and ok. It was a good afternoon.