Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The waves crashed onto the shore as Steven sat in the sticky, scratchy sand next to Connie. Her knees were tucked under her chin, and she hugged her legs. Steven reached out to hold her hand, and she accepted. He liked how her soft palm and fingers covered his weathered, leathered hands. After everything that happened, he was ready for life to be simple for once, but cleaning up the mess left by the Diamonds and his mother was more complicated than he thought it would be. To make it even worse, Pearl was making him learn Gem, "Just in case they change their minds! We need to be able to read their intel and their technology. You will be a key part of making sure nothing bad ever happens to Earth again! The fate of not just the world, but the whole universe, rests in your hands." 

Just what every fourteen year-old boy wants to hear. 

And now? Connie asked him to meet up at the beach to "discuss something," which ended up being the tragic news that her school was not letting any non-registered students attend the end-of-the year eighth grade formal. After what happened last year with the fire and the chickens released in the hallways as a joke from their rival middle school, the principal made a blanket policy, which also included homeschooled kids like him...if what he did on a daily basis even counted as homeschool. 

"I'm so sorry, Steven," Connie said, almost in tears. "I was looking forward to it all year! It's just not fair at all that they changed the rule." 

"It is incredibly disappointing," was all he said. He did not want to go into detail about how his father took him shopping for a suit last week, and now the suit hung in his closet in the new room his father built him after expressing a need for privacy. It took the Gems at least a month to realize they needed to knock on the door and not just barge in whenever they wanted. And, even then, Steven had to go out and get a lock because they could never remember. He had to remind himself that he was the only human any of them have lived with. "It's okay though." 

"We can do something else that night instead--" 

"No," Steven said. "You've been looking forward to this all year. I'm not going to make you miss it." 

"I don't want to go without you." 

"Please go." 

"But you're leaving soon. For a while. I'd rather hang out with you instead."

"It's okay. I want you to go with your friends from school and have a great time. It's the only eighth grade dance you'll ever have." 

Connie buried her face into her knees, hiding her eyes. A muffled, "I don't have any other friends," came out of her mouth. 

"What? That can't be true. You had a lot of friends when I first met you." 

"Don't tell me you can't remember how we met." 

Steven tried to recall how he met her, and realized she was on the beach reading, even though he had seen her around town before. When he saw she dropped her bracelet one day, he saved it for months on end to eventually return it to her. 

"You were always reading alone," Steven said. 

"And, let's be honest. We've both been really, really busy the past few years." 

"Yeah, we have." Steven let out a long sigh. This didn't feel fair to him. Why should Connie miss the best parts of being on Earth, of being human, just because he got her all roped up in saving the world from the Diamonds? "Still, I think you need to go." His forehead wrinkled as he squeezed her hand tighter. "You've missed...a lot of things because of everything, and you should experience this." 

Connie sniffed in as she tried not to cry. "All right," she relented and nodded. 

After he said goodbye to Connie, he walked home, throwing rocks into the ocean as he meandered back. He knew the second he stepped through the door, Pearl would bombard him with questions about being late and comments about wasting time, and go into great detail about how he needed to learn Gem now! That at any second things could go back to how they were. And, every time he told her the Diamonds were not going to do that, she gave him the side eye and muttered something about the causes of the French Revolution or the Revolutionary War (It really depended on her mood -- sometimes it was even the Bolshevik Revolution).

And, when he entered through the weathered cottage, Pearl was projecting a plan for a "Little Homeworld" in front of Amethyst and Garnet. "It will be everything she ever wanted but could not even begin to imagine!" Pearl said. "Gems on Earth, being part of society...We already rebuilt the barn, but what if there could be more?" She waved her arms, excited at the possibility. "All of us here, protecting the Earth from harm forever!" Then she started to tear up, but saw Steven enter through the door. She stopped projecting, and the corners of her mouth dropped from a smile to a frown. Her arms crossed. She seemed pissed off in every way possible, but her somber blue eyes stayed.   

"Hey! Dude!" Amethyst said, as she ate a bag of chips. "P is just showing us some ideas for what to do with all the now-uncorrupted Gems we saved. She doesn't want to send them back to Homeworld." 

"There's a very good reason they left Homeworld in the first place," Garnet said. 

"Well, yeah, no basic 'human,' I mean, 'gem,' rights and a society with a rigid, oppressive class system that would make Elon Musk jizz his pants." With sarcasm, Amethyst added, "Who wouldn't want to go and live there?"

"Amethyst!" Pearl said, "What kind of vulgar joke was that?" 

"Come on," Amethyst said and crumpled up the empty chip bag in her hands and tossed the crumpled ball into her mouth. As she chewed she continued, "I can't be the only one who thinks it's crazy we just let them keep on keeping on up there. They've barely done anything differently." 

"They're trying to be better," Steven said, jamming his hands into his pockets and shrugging his shoulders."Sometimes progress takes a while."

"And, once Steven dismantles the colonies and takes his place as a ruler, change will happen much more quickly," Garnet said. 

"Look, White Diamond was created during the infancy of the universe," Pearl said, still crossing her arms. "She's basically a sentient, living core of a neutron star, who would have easily wiped our minds or shattered us and squashed Steven if he didn't have the pink diamond gem. That's why we let them 'keep on keeping on' up there." 

"I like being intact," Amethyst said with a gulp. 

"As do I, " Garnet said. She tilted her head toward Pearl.

"Wait, she's a star?" Amethyst asked.  

"Do we all not really know this?" Pearl asked, flipping her hands palm up and gesturing upward. 

"Since, Rose basically ordered you to--" Amethyst began. 

"Pink Diamond," Pearl interjected. 

Amethyst rolled her eyes. "Since PINK DIAMOND, not Rose, ordered you to never talk about it for like thousands of years, how would we know that? I mean, how would I, especially, even know that?" 

"If you would learn Gem Glyph, I could give you some books to read," Pearl said. 

"Eh, I'm good," Amethyst said before burping. 

"Of course, you're 'good,'" Pearl said, trying to imitate Amethyst as she pronounced 'good.' 

"Go easy on her, Pearl," Garnet said. "It's not like we did a good job inspiring her learn Gem." 

"We never thought we would go back! Or that the corrupted gems would be saved!" 

Garnet sighed and said, "I'm going for a walk," and left via the warp pad. Lately, she had been doing that instead of furthering the argument with Pearl, especially if it was about his mother. 

Pearl rolled her eyes and finally directed her attention to Steven again, who decided to get a coke from the fridge. Great, Steven, thought as Pearl gave him that "mom" look when he disobeyed one of her rules. He immediately sat down at the kitchen table. 

"In fact, Ame, Steven and I are about to sit down and have a lesson." As Pearl said this, still looking at Steven, Amethyst stood up, put a finger up to her lips, indicating she didn't want Steven to say anything, and walked backward until she turned to go through the Temple's door and into her room. "You're always welcome to..." Pearl looked back and noticed Amethyst had left when her back was turned, and said, "Of course." Her shoulders dropped. "All right." She fixed her posture, took a thick, heavy book out of her gem, dusted it off, and plopped it onto the kitchen table with a thump. "We have a lot to go over today. The day you leave for space is quickly approaching. This is why you need to be here on time." 

"It seems like you were having a meeting without me, and I didn't actually need to be here on time." He sipped his drink. 

"It wasn't 'without' you, you weren't here. Also, we had to do something. Bill Dewey is trying to run an election campaign against Nanefua, promising to deal with the 'Gem problem.' We need to put them somewhere besides the Temple, and teach them how to not, well, cause havoc now that humans have an actual society and are not just nomadic tribes. Especially since you're leaving." She sat down next to him and opened the book. "Now..." 

Steven zoned-out as Pearl explained something about the Gem alphabet and thought about what it would be like to go to the dance with Connie. To hold her hand. To talk to other kids their age. To eat from a snack table...And to dance with Connie all dressed up. He wished he could see her all beautiful...not that she wasn't all beautiful all the time. But, seeing her in a formal dress with make-up and -- 

"Steven!" Pearl said. 

"What?!" he groaned. 

"Are you listening to me at all?" 

"No, actually I'm not," he said, flippantly. 

Pearl's lips pursed as she held in her anger. He could always tell when she wanted to yell at him, but stopped herself so she could reply calmly instead. It reminded him of back when he knew he saw one of Peridot's ball drones and Pearl didn't believe him. 

"Do you understand what is at stake here?" 

"Um, absolutely nothing because we are FINE now!?" 

"Fine! We are not fine! When you leave to dismantle the colonies, what if-" 

"White Diamond could change her mind, blah, blah, blah," he said. "You know what? I'm sick of this!" He threw his arms up in the air. 

"Steven," Pearl said through gritted teeth. "If you don't learn Gem, it could be catastrophic if we need to ever defend ourselves again. Or what if something happens when you're traveling in space? Their technology has advanced to the point where I've been studying nonstop myself to catch up on what I've missed."

"Nothing bad is going to happen to me in space. Also, we wont need to defend ourselves again. They let me 'have' Earth." 

"Exactly, 'let you,'' Pearl said. "Those are the key words here." 

"Yeah, well, at least they 'let' me do something! You never let me do anything!" 

"Oh Stars, this again. I thought you got over this when we told you everything...well almost everything." She shook her head, crossing her arms again. "You don't understand--" 

"I'm too young? I literally saved the world." Steven stood up. "Everyday, I wake up and try to have a simple day, but everyone expects so much out of me! And, everything is fine now. And, I still can't live a normal life and go to school and hang out with friends." 

"What are you talking about?" Pearl stood up as well. "You have a lot of friends and --" 

"Why didn't you ever send me to school?" 

"School? Why on Earth would you want to go there when we could teach you everything here?" 

"To see people my age? To make friends? To do...just stuff that everyone on Earth does." 

"You do stuff that everyone on Earth does every--" 

"See? I knew you wouldn't understand." 

"Maybe, I 'don't understand' because I'm not human. But, if that's the case, then you shouldn't be pointing fingers at me, and ask your father that very question. He was the one who didn't want you to go to regular human school. Said something about it being oppressive." 

"And, there you go blaming Dad for everything again." 

"I'm not blaming Greg for everything. If there was anyone I would blame it's..." She stopped herself from, what Steven was sure of, yelling the name "Rose." After breathing out to calm herself, she said "I don't know what you want me to say." They both stared at each other until Pearl sat back down. She opened the Gem language book again, and then looked back up at Steven, expecting him to follow along. 

Instead, Steven stormed out of the temple cottage. He grabbed his bike and heard the screen door to the cottage slam shut. When he glanced behind his shoulder, he saw Pearl standing on the deck. She yelled, "Steven! This is ridiculous! Come back here right now!" 

Ignoring her, he hopped on his pike and pedaled away as fast as he could. As he rode his bike, he passed groups of kids his age at the skatepark laughing at a joke one of them said.

He pedaled faster.

On the boardwalk, he saw a boy and girl around his age holding hands, having a 'date."

He pedaled even faster.

At Fish Stew Pizza, another group of kids ate pizza, talking and laughing as one of them bothered his friends for answers to the homework he had in front of him.

Steven pedaled faster than he ever had before.

He didn't stop until he was at the edge of town near the cornfields, near Lapis and Peridot's barn. When he started to pass it on the way, he realized he was about to leave town. He stopped and stood, leaning forward to rest against the handlebars. His mouth was so dry he couldn't even spit. Yikes, he needed water. 

So he turned around and, when he got to their yard, set his bike down on the grass. In front of the barn, Lapis worked on a large sculpture of repurposed old TVs (the heavy kind with the big backs and bubbly, glass screens). "Hey Steven!" she said, as she held a welding torch. It shut off, and she pulled her mask up, revealing her blue hair. "How's it going?" 

"Okay," he said, out of breath. "I kind of rode my bike here super fast and desperately need some water." 

"I can definitely get you some." She motioned for him to follow her into the barn. "Just don't mind Perri. She's become obsessed with this quantum computer she put together after going to visit Homeworld last week." 

"A quantum computer?" 

"A computer that runs on light. I mean, every Homeworld tech is quantum-based, but for some reason she was super excited about this one." 

When they entered the barn, Lapis disappeared up the ladder to get Steven water. He stood in the middle of the room, alone. In front of him was a warp-pad, but it had wires hanging all around it. His eyes scanned the room, and he noticed the wires led to a green systems unit the size of pick-up truck. Next to it was a chair and a command center pad, like the one at the Moon Base. 

How could Peridot bother him if she wasn't even there? 

Suddenly, the warp pad glowed. A shadowed of Peridot appeared until the light stopped, revealing a complete Peridot standing there, looking at a metal device on her forearm. "Lapis! You wouldn't believe it! I actually got to hang out with everyone at the Camp Pining Hearts last day of camp dance! Paulette and Percy danced together!" However, when she saw Steven there, she stammered, "Oh! Steven is here! Hi, Steven. How's it, uh, going?" 

"Um, fine," Steven said with suspicion. "How are you doing?"

"Um, fine," Peridot said. She cleared her throat. "So, what brings you here? Is Pearl annoying the hell out of you again about learning Gem before you leave?" 

"She doesn't annoy me. I would call it, um, her being overbearing." 

"Which is totally annoying. Am I right?" Off his look, Peridot forced a smile and said, "I'm just kidding." 

"She's been through a lot. A lot I can't fully understand, but now kind of do because, well... And, although I see why she wants me to learn Gem, it's boring, and I'm tired." 

"You think learning Gem is boring? Wait until she makes you start doing quantum physics." Peridot laughed. "Stars, if you think Gem is boring, you're going to hate that. You have to know Gem to learn it though." 

"Quantum physics?" 

"Well, yeah. How do you think all of our technology works. I mean, you're PINK DIAMOND. You have to learn this stuff, especially if you're going off into space." 

"Why does everyone say that!?" he said in frustration. 

"Because it's who you are?" Peridot said. 

Lapis descended from the loft with a glass of water. "Leave him alone, Perri. He's just overwhelmed." Lapis handed him the water glass and said, "Steven, I don't blame you." 

Steven chugged the glass of water. He wiped his mouth and said, "It would be cool to just know what it feels like to be a normal human for once. You know? To to just have homework as my biggest problem instead of keeping Earth and the other colonies safe by engaging in diplomatic relations with an extremely powerful alien who is also kind of my grandmother? I think? I'm still not sure how any of this works." 

"That's why you need to learn Gem," Peridot said, rolling her eyes. Steven narrowed his eyes at her. "I mean this in the nicest way possible. You could read all those books the Diamonds allegedly have about, well, everything about gem civilization. There's probably some crazy secrets in there." 

Suddenly Lapis smirked and said, "So, Perri, how was your visit to Camp Pining Hearts?" 

Steven grinned back at her, thankful for the change of topic. 

"My what?" Peridot feigned ignorance. 

"Your Camp Pining Hearts fan fiction computer simulation? How was it?" Lapis said, very loudly. 

"Fan fiction simulation?" Steven asked. He held the bottom his chin in his right hand as he tried to think about how, exactly, the computer worked. 

"I, uh..." Peridot sighed, and lowered her shoulders in defeat. "You got me. I created a quantum computer that can create fan fiction simulations, and I can go into the simulation if I wish to." 

"Go into the computer?" Steven asked. 

"Well, yeah. It's a quantum computer. It runs via light. And, we...well, we are light." She gestured down the the small warp pad. "It's just like how we use the warp pad, only you don't warp to a second location. Instead, your light just goes into the computer, essentially digitizing our light into the simulation." 

"Really?" Steven said. He ran up to the computer command center to see more. 

"Wait!" Peridot said in panic. "Don't touch anything!" 

"This can make any simulation?" 

"I mean, kind of." She held up the metal device on her wrist. "You need to wear one of these before warping in. That way you can get back or rewrite the code if things goes awry." 

"Go awry?" 

"The machine is essentially an AI that runs as long as I allow it to." Peridot put her arm in front of Steven and motioned for him to step away from the command center. "Basically, I coded a copy of the universe in here. It knows everything." 

"Everything?" 

"Yeah. It creates worlds and storylines based on what I put in to the command center or to my wrist device." 

"Wow!" Steven said in wonder. "Can it simulate real life?" 

Peridot paused in thought. "I suppose it could, but that would be really boring." 

"What if I wanted it to be very boring?" 

"What are you saying Steven?" Peridot said with a slightly condescending laugh."That you want to be in a boring simulation of your real life?" 

Steven did not respond and Peridot's facetious smile faded. 

"I think that's exactly what he's saying, Perri," Lapis said. 

"Hmmmm," Peridot said in deep thought. 

"It's more complicated than that," Steven confessed. "I was supposed to go to this dance with Connie..." 

"Oh my gosh! A 'big dance'? Like at the end of summer each season of Camp Pining Hearts?" Peridot suddenly started to get very excited as her voice rose to an octave short of a squeal. 

"It's the eighth grade formal." 

"A FORMAL?!" Peridot practically had tears in her eyes. "Like in the bonus off-season junior prom episode?" 

"I guess so. The problem is that I can't go because her school won't let any unregistered students attend because of what their rival middle school did last year. And, Pearl and my dad wont let me enroll in school for...reasons." 

"And forbidden young love?!" 

"I wouldn't say it's forbidden. It's more that my gem stuff takes priority. All the time. And, it would be nice to take a break from being a gem and just be human for once." 

Lapis out her hand on Steven's shoulder. "I'm sorry." 

But Peridot tilted her head to the side in thought. "I have an idea! Give me your hand." 

Steven held out his hand, palm up. Peridot took off her wrist device and shoved it onto Steven's wrist. "Get on the warp pad. We're going to send you to the perfect simulation for this." 

"Perfect simulation?" 

"Like I said, this quantum computer has an exact copy of the universe coded into it." 

"How did you get an exact copy of--" 

"Learn Gem and then learn about how quantum physics works. Otherwise everything I can tell you will go way over your head." Peridot laced her fingers from bother her hands together and cracked her knuckles. "Hmph," she said, chuckling. "Like way over." She smiled. "Anyway, let's do this." A hologram projection of a screen appeared from the terminal. She started typing code. Without looking up, she said, "Stand on the warp pad." Without stopping her fingers from jetting across the keyboard, she added, "I'm putting a timer on how long you can stay in there. Otherwise, things could get, well, too good." 

"Too good?" 

"What if you don't want to leave?" 

"I can stay in there?" 

"You're light, well part light and organic matter, and it's a quantum computer. So, yes, of course you can." 

"She's exaggerating," Lapis said, bored, as she examined her hand, leaning on the wall next to Peridot.

"You have twenty-four hours." Peridot said. "I wouldn't waste most of it sleeping." She scoffed, "Humans and their waste-of-time-sleep." She pressed a button on the terminal. 

The warp pad lit up around Steven, just like when they used them for travel. Only Steven didn't end up in another warp pad. Instead, he ended up in a house. A normal house. Not the beach cottage attached to a temple of a giant woman. He was in someone's room. Someone who, judging by the posters and trophies, played lacrosse and really liked Dog Copter movies. The bed was unmade, and the carpet was a burgundy color. The walls were painted light blue, and the double bed behind him had a grey comforter. On the messy desk in front of him was unfinished math homework. He picked up the piece of paper to look at it, and realized the desk also had a picture in a frame of him and group of friends taking a selfie at the beach. 

A knock at the door startled him. He did not say anything. Then the knocks started again. Muffled through the door, he heard Pearl's voice say, "Steven, open the door right now or I'm going to unlock it. I've been trying to wake you up for the past half hour!" 

"Be right there!" he said, unsure of what was going on. He stood in front of the door, nervous about what might happen or what he might see. 

Another knock made him flinch. Just as he was about to open the door, Pearl opened it, hand on the doorknob as she turned a key. She crossed her arms. Dryly, she said, "So you are up." 

"Uh, yeah I guess I am!" Steven said. But then he noticed how Pearl looked. She wore a long, oversized dress shirt and blue jeans. He looked down and also saw she had socks but no shoes on. Socks? Why would Pearl need socks? 

"Then let's going. You're going to be late for school, which will, in turn, make me late for work." 

"Work?" 

Pearl brushed her long bangs back in frustration. That was when he realized she didn't have a gem on her forehead. It was just a regular human forehead. 

"Yes. And, I really can't be late today. My quantum theory class has a final at nine. I need to be there early to set up." 

"Okay, um, I'm sorry. I really am." 

"Then show me that you're sorry and be downstairs in fifteen minutes." She paused and smiled. "Also, I am so excited to see you go to your first dance tonight!" She pulled him into a tight hug. He returned it and wrapped his arms around her too. When she released him, she added "I love you." 

"I love you, too." 

"Fifteen --" She glanced at her Apple watch. "No, twelve minutes. Or I'm leaving without you." 

"That's harsh," Steven said on reflex with a giggle.

"I am quite serious. Now, get going." She almost turned around, but her eyes narrowed at the desk next to the bed. After walking over, she picked up the unfinished math homework. "What's this?" 

"Um, algebra?" 

"You didn't finish this? Last night you told me you did!" 

"I'm sorry?" 

"We discussed this two weeks ago when I checked your Powerschool grades and saw you were missing almost half of your math homework assignments." 

Steven opened his mouth, but was unsure of what to say. Like, what the heck was Powerschool? 

After looking at her watch again, Pearl said, "We'll talk about this later." She walked to the bedroom door and said, "I want to note that your mother will not be happy if she has to come home from work to get you to school again. She knows I can't miss my classes, especially when it's a final." 

"Wait...my mother?" 

"Yes, your mother," Pearl said in confusion. "Are you okay?"

"I think so?" Steven said, still unsure of anything he should say. 

She walked toward him again and put her hand on his forehead. "Are you sure you're feeling okay? Is that why you didn't finish your homework? You don't feel warm." She removed her hand from his forehead and palmed each of his cheeks, focused on if he looked sick in any way. "You do look pale." 

As he looked directly at Pearl, close up, he noticed her skin had small signs of aging, something he wasn't used to. Faint lines of crow's feet appeared and her forehead crinkled as she looked at him with concern. 

"I just, um...I'm okay." A cellphone on his desk buzzed, and he turned away from Pearl to look at its exact location. 

"All right." She glanced at her watch, and then typed on the screen. "Seven minutes," she said, not looking up. "Please hurry. I am serious." She made her way to the door and turned around to add. "And, please text me if you're not feeling well at school later. The final ends at eleven, and I can pick you up after then if you need me to." 

"Okay, thanks. I'll be right there..." Steven said, still in shock, before Pearl closed the door to the bedroom. 

With slow steps, he walked to the desk and looked at the cellphone screen. The contact said, "Mom," and she had already sent three messages that morning. 

Mom [7:38AM]: You better be all dressed and ready for school 😉

Mom [7:40AM]: Sweetheart, you better not be giving Pearl a hard time. Unlock the door. 

Mom [7:51AM]: She just sent me a text. We will talk about how late you've been staying up when you get home from school. 

It vibrated again. 

Mom [7:52AM]: Have a great day at school. love you ❤️

He dropped the phone in disbelief, sending it crashing onto the top of the desk. 

Chapter Text

Steven stared at the text messages from "Mom" until he heard a car horn beep. Pearl was waiting for him in the driveway. His phone buzzed again on the desk; this time from Pearl. 

Pearl [7:45 AM]: Three minutes 

He hurried to get dressed. When he opened his closet, a myriad selection of clothing hung from hangers. Jeans and T-shirts were folded neatly in little cubbies. He grabbed a random t-shirt and a pair of jeans, changed, and then rushed outside. In a Mazda SUV, Pearl sat in the driver's seat. She wore cat-eye sunglasses, which was odd. He had never seen her wear them before. She looked good in them...normal like any other mother dropping her kid off at school. For some reason, this made him feel like all the pressure on him subsided; Pearl did not expect him to save the universe. She merely wanted him to do his math homework and get to school on time. 

Just as he opened the door to the car, she said, "Forgetting something?" 

"Oh, my homework" Steven said, smiling a bit. He decided to lean into this. Although the possibility of seeing the simulation of his mother wavered over his head. 

"How about an entire backpack?" Pearl said with a sigh.

"Yes, that would be helpful." He stood for a moment, unsure of where to even get this backpack. 

"It's in the hallway on the entryway bench."

"Okay, yeah." Steven nodded and ran inside.

Now that he got used to the idea of being normal, he had a second to take in the house. The side door near the garage opened to a hallway, and on the entryway bench was his backpack.

Down the hallway was the kitchen. He quickly peeked at it, taking in the beautiful kitchen with sage green cabinets and white quartz countertops. In the middle was a large kitchen island. A well-placed vase with flowers occupied the center. It looked like a magazine kitchen.

As he grabbed the backpack, he looked down at his forearm and realized the wrist thingy Peridot gave him “in case things go awry” wasn’t there. However, he knew Peridot coded the simulation so Steven would return home after twenty-four hours. 

He went back out to the car, and saw Pearl anxiously drumming the top of the steering wheel with her finger tips. He hopped in, and, before he could even finish buckling his seatbelt, Pearl reversed out of the driveway. After he buckled, they moved forward, on their way to school. TED Radio hour played through the speakers. Steven sat in the passenger seat, silent, not knowing what to say. Then he realized why the kitchen looked amazing; if Pearl was a human, she most likely would love a clean, well organized kitchen. She was the one driving him to school. She lived there and so did he. If that was the case, then where was his dad? He quickly checked the contacts in his simulation universe phone and typed in "Dad." To his relief, he existed. Their most recent conversation involved Greg taking him to the recently released Dog Copter movie. The way it was worded made Steven realize he, like in his real life, did not live with his dad, but saw him all the time. 

"You're very quiet today," Pearl said. 

"Just listening to the podcast." 

Pearl nodded. At a red light, she exhaled and looked over at Steven. "Steven, seriously, what are we going to do about this complete lack of motivation you've had lately?"

"Complete lack of motivation?" 

"The lack of homework completion. The late nights playing video games or scrolling on your phone causing you to wake up late." She paused and struggled to say, "Issues in class. This can't continue."

The light turned green and she continued driving. 

"I promise I'll do better."

He smiled. It really was nice to have simple problems. He glanced over at Pearl again, analyzing the more human features she now had. Her skin was no longer perfect. Her nose was a bit smaller and less angular. Her hair was more of a strawberry blonde than an orange-pink hue. 

“Is everything okay?” she asked. 

“Yeah, everything’s okay.” He paused and added, “I’m really sorry I dropped the ball with my math homework, and I really do need to wake up earlier so you’re not late for work.” 

A weak grin formed as Pearl took a right turn. “I really appreciate that. Thank you.” 

They drove next to William Dewey Middle School, a large brick building with a modern addition, and Pearl pulled over to a side street, stopping the car. 

"So, I know this isn't the right drop off location," Pearl said. 

"It's probably fine," Steven said. 

"No. It's not. The PTA president, Lauren Myers, already complained to the principal about it. It was addressed in yesterday's caregiver newsletter." 

"Who cares about what Lauren Myers says about you?" 

"I don't care about me. It's about you." 

"Me how?" 

"It's not entirely important. I just wanted to make a point about doing better." 

"Like how if I was on time, we could have used the correct drop-off location and procedure?" 

"Yes. It's exactly that." 

Steven grabbed his backpack from the car floor. He looked at Pearl and said, "Seriously, though, since when do you care about what people say about us?" 

Pearl's sunglasses slid to the tip of her long but upturned nose. "Since when do you not care? Especially since Matt Myers is your best friend?" 

"My best friend?"

Pearl stared at him. It was unnerving. She seemed disturbed in some way. "Are you sure you feel well?"

"I mean, yeah? I'm fine. Do not worry."  

"Are you sure?" Again, she felt his forehead. Why was she suddenly doing that? Did it magically turn mothers into thermometers if they felt someone's forehead? 

"Yes. Never been better."

"Okay, then why do you think we do things for you?" Pearl pointed to herself. "I don't care what Lauren Myers thinks of me. In fact, she can go f-herself. What I care about, more than anything in the world, is you and your happiness." 

Steven wasn't expecting Pearl to pour her heart out like that. Usually she was the most closed-lipped person he knew. But that was his mother's fault. Pearl seemed to be holding in tears. She sniffed her nose, and Steven realized that this might not be the idyllic simulation he assumed it to be. 

"I care about you more than anything, too," Steven said. Everything he did was for her and Garnet and Amethyst and his dad, too. 

"Thanks," Pearl said as tears welled up in her eyes. 

"I love you." 

"I love you, too, Steven."  

Her hugged her. Her embrace in return was tighter than he could imagine. Like he hadn't initiated a hug a long time. For some reason in his gut he realized that in this universe Pearl was probably his main parental figure. Even though he had both his mother and father in this universe -- simulation! -- it was a simulation. There was something about Pearl being human that...made it easier to connect with her. Or was that always true?  He thought about the first time she was poofed and he waited by her gem for almost two weeks until she came back. How he feared she was gone forever when Amethyst and Garnet dismissed his concerns. Because they got it. Because they were gems. And, he was and he wasn't all at the same time. 

"Have a great day at school," Pearl said. "Text me if you don't feel well." 

"Okay. I promise I will." 

"Also, no phone calls today, please!" she added, quick, almost frantic. 

No phone calls? What did that mean? He grabbed his backpack and hopped out of the car onto the sidewalk. Pearl waved as she pulled away from the parking space. Steven walked toward William Dewey Middle School. Students buzzed around him. All talking. Some yelling. Some of them linked arms. Giggles erupted from a brunette girl shrieking as a blonde boy tried to squirt her with a plastic water bottle. 

"Bro!" the blonde guy yelled toward Steven as he tossed the green, plastic Gatorade bottle at him. 

Steven watched it fall to his feet and roll away. 

"Bro, what the hell? You always catch it!" the blonde kid said. 

"Wait, why were you throwing it at me?" 

"Um, so you could catch it and get her." 

"Get her?"  

"You know, spray it at Julianna?" He tilted his head. "Bro, you okay?"

The blonde kid picked up the water bottle from the ground. 

"Hey, Steven!" Julianna said, waving. 

"Hi," Steven said. 

"Let's talk in the bathroom," the blonde kid said. 

Steven followed him to the bathroom. Inside, the blonde kid said, "You got that high school senior whose mom dated your moms's friend to hook us up, right?" 

"Hook us up?" 

"Seriously, bro. Are you okay?" he said, almost yelling. 

"Um, I don't...What are you talking about?" 

"The sour guy." 

Steven stared at him with wide eyes. What was he talking about? Steven asked. "Sour Cream?"  

"Yeah, did he hook us up?" 

"With what?" 

"The shit." 

"What?" 

"Can you stop fucking with me?"

"I'm not...doing that." 

"What the sigma?" Matt said with a sigh. He looked under the bathroom stalls and lowered his voice to a whisper. "The vodka handle and the weed. For the sleepover tonight after the dance. Are you getting it from him?" 

"I'm doing that?!" What was wrong with this version of him? "Aren't we in eighth grade?" 

Matt's mouth dropped slightly. He tilted his head. "Did you like fall on your head or something?" 

"No. I...Let me check." Steven checked his texts for any from Sour Cream, but did not see anything. "I don't see anything from him in my texts, and..." 

"Don't you talk to him on Kik?" 

"On what?" 

"OH MY GOD!" Matt dipped his head back. "Did one of your moms find the message or something? Is that why you're being weird acting like we haven't been trying to set this up for weeks!? I thought you fucking had it in a hidden folder. It was the college professor mom who found it, right?" 

"Pearl?" 

"Yeah, did she find it?" 

"No, I don't think Pearl would look through my phone." 

"Well, I think she is the exact type of mom who would look through a phone." Matt crossed his arms and shook his head. "Now we're going to have to invite Brayden for this shit. He's is so fucking annoying." 

"Brayden? Oh, yeah, he's annoying," Steven said, not knowing who Brayden even was, but wanted to stop talking to Matt. He did not exactly want to drink alcohol and smoke weed after the dance. Maybe he could go back to the real world early? Or fake an illness? Pearl already thought he was sick anyway. 

"Whatever. If Sour Cream ends up contacting you and you figure it out, let me know so I don't have to invite Brayden." He sighed. "Better get to class before the first period bell." 

They both left the bathroom. Steven paused as he saw the previously filled halls empty. Matt turned and went down the hallway. 

"Matt! Wait," Steven said, walking behind him. He caught up with Matt. 

"What bro?" 

"Where is first period?" 

"Look, I know you want to try and make-out with Julianna tonight, but you should go to the nurse. You're acting weird. Like maybe you had a life threatening concussion weird." 

"Julianna?" Who the hell was Julianna? Wait, the girl from the water bottle incident earlier? What about Connie? Where was Connie? 

"I just cant right now, bro," Matt said, rolling his eyes. He left Steven standing in the middle of the hallway alone. 

Panicked, Steven took out his phone and scrolled though his contacts, desperately trying to find Connie in his messages. However, before he could adequately look, a voice said, "DeMayo! This is the fourth time this week!" 

"What else did I do?" Steven asked, exasperated. He turned around. A man in khakis and a polo shirt motioned for Steven to come closer, but his body language only made Steven want to stay in place. 

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but this is the fourth time you've been late for first period this week. And, I can't even count the number of cell phone referrals I've got from ALL of your teachers this week." 

"I--I, um..." Steven had no idea how to explain himself. Also, what was wrong with this version of himself? He was an apathetic mess. 

"You need to go to first period. Now." His badge said, Assistant Principal Johnston. 

"I don't know where that is." 

"Very funny." 

"I'm serious." 

"You know what? Please hand me your phone." 

"What? My phone? No. I'm not giving you my phone." 

"You need to give me your phone now. If you do, you will be able to retrieve it from the office at the end of the day, or, I can call your mom and have her come and get your phone and you." 

"Call my mom?" 

"Yeah, and not the one who dodges my calls. The one that actually comes and deals with these problems." 

"Pearl?" 

"Yes. Pearl." 

So that was what she meant earlier about no phone calls. 

"No, don't call her! Her class has a final she's proctoring, and it's important to her job and... I'll give you my phone!" He handed it to the assistant principal.

"Thought so," he said, smug. He paused, holding the phone. "I'm glad you're actually empathetic about inconveniencing her for once." 

"Actually empathetic?" 

"Please, DeMayo, any time I say I'm going to call her, you say to me, 'Go ahead,' with more confidence than anyone I have ever witnessed in my entire life. Then she comes in, frazzled, upset, tells me you will receive a consequence. Last time she was nearly in tears. But the next week? Or even day? You're back at it. Like now. Only you tell me your other mom, the one who I'm pretty sure has blocked the school phone number, let it slide."  

"I made Pearl cry. What's wrong with me?" 

"I've asked myself the same question many times." 

"Look, I'm going to go to class, but, please, believe me, I don't know where first period is!" 

"That's it, I don't need you to be smart with me. I wont call her, but I will escort you first period." 

Principal Johnston motioned for Steven to go forward. Steven walked, but in a daze, slow, as he literally had no idea where he was going. This school was a maze. Every corner looked like the last. All the lockers were the same color. The signs and posters hung up were all almost the same. He had seen an Ally Michelson for Best Eyes flyer at least three times. 

Johnston led him into a science class. Steven walked in, and stood, stunned, as the entire class looked at him. A middle aged brunette woman, who he presumed to be the teacher said, with much disappointment, like she was upset he showed up, "Oh...Hi Steven. All right, take your seat. We are going over photosynthesis." 

Was he the cause of all this?

Johnston nodded to the science teacher and left, closing the door. 

Steven glanced into the crowd of nearly thirty other kids his age. For a moment, he freaked, and froze. But then he saw a familiar face. In the back of the room sat Connie, who took notes as she still looked at the board, completely ignoring Steven's entrance to class. Thank the stars he found her. He made his way to the back of the class. Heads turned as he strode down the aisle. When he took the seat next to Connie, eyes stared at him. The science teacher said, "Steven, that's not your seat." 

"Oh, uh, sorry. I thought I would do better here." 

Most of the class giggled at him, like they expected this ridiculousness out of him. Almost everyone except Connie and a few other kids. 

She tilted her head, considering it. "You know what? I think you will do better there. Go ahead." 

He sat down, set his backpack on the floor. "Connie!" he said, whispering. "I'm so happy I found you." 

Her brows twisted at him. She pushed her glasses back up to the bridge of her nose. Steven realized he never had the powers to heal her nearsightedness, so she still had to wear glasses. After a brief, dirty look, Connie went back to focusing on the board and taking notes. 

"Connie," he whispered again. 

Again, nothing. She acted like he wasn't even there. Her hand shot up in the air to answer a question about chlorophyll . After the science teacher went on to explain more, she then directed the class to explain in their own words photosynthesis to their neighbor.

A long sigh left Connie's mouth. She turned toward him and said, "Photosynthesis is a chemical process where plants use light, carbon dioxide, and water to make sugar, which is basically their own food. This allows them to convert light into energy. AKA oxygen; the reason organic life exists." With annoyance she added, "Your turn." 

"Did I do something wrong? You seem upset with me." 

"Are you serious?" A short, spiteful laugh left Connie's mouth. "This is the first time you've ever talked to me." 

Chapter Text

"I've never talked to you before?" Steven asked. 

"Is this a joke?" Connie asked. "Is this like the time you asked out Riley Williams as a prank? Which was not funny at all by the way. She cried in front of the whole school at lunch." 

"I did that?" 

Connie's jaw dropped a bit. It shifted to the side, like she was both trying to think and say an immediate thought at the same time. "You're really going with this 'amnesia' bit, aren't you?  Why don't you get a life and stop making other people's lives difficult?"

Before Steven could answer, the bell rang. Connie mumbled "Thank God," and shoved all her school supplies into her bag. 

Steven froze, realizing there was no point to being in this simulation if Connie didn't like him. The whole point was to go to the dance and pretend he was "normal" for once. He just wanted to have a simple day at a normal school. 

"Mr. DeMayo, I believe you have second period to get to," the science teacher said, waving her hand for Steven to pick up the notebook and pencil on the lab table and put it in his bag. 

After he left the science class, Steven had no idea where he was going. He navigated through the crowded school hallways, past the green lockers and brick walls with posters advertising for the dance and for Ally Michelson for 'Best Eyes,' and went to the front office and asked for a copy of his schedule. He stood under the florescent lights and stared at the middle-aged brunette woman who was the office assistant. Glasses hung at the tip of her nose, and they had strings on the end so they could hang by her neck. Her name plaque said, "Mrs. Sachs." 

"You're joking, DeMayo," Mrs. Sachs said. 

"I swear I'm not." 

"Have you looked on your Chromebook?" 

"My Chromebook?" 

"In your backpack." She let out an audible sigh and started to type on the computer, ignoring him. 

Steven got his Chromebook out. It took him to the next bell to find his schedule, but when he did, he ran to his English class. 

He walked into the English classroom as the teacher with long silver hair and a chunky cardigan sweater spoke. As he sat down at the only empty desk, he learned her name was Mrs. Patterson. She glared at him for a brief moment and then continued on about some book about teenage runaways in a gang. Steven listened, fascinated with the tragic story of a fourteen year-old boy named Ponyboy whose friends either committed murder in self-defense or they themselves were killed by someone else. And nothing had to do with how good of a person they were. Instead, it all had to do with the circumstances of their lives. Steven never considered that before; that where someone was born and who their parents were affected a person's life that much. It made them who they were. But a person could not let that define them. Ponyboy realized he had to make things right when nothing would ever be right again.

This class didn't seem so bad. At least the teacher was nicer in the sense that she ignored him instead of glaring. Steven opened the book and began reading the passages she directed the students to. When they discussed the church scene, he almost cried. But he held it in because, at this point, this whole scenario felt more like a "mission," and less like "real life."

What was the difference, though?  

Next was gym class, which he was apparently good at because the teacher, Mr. Griggs, kept blowing the whistle and yelling at him for not trying. To be fair, Steven had never played pickle ball before and the rules were extremely confusing. Why call part of the court a "kitchen"? There was no oven in there! Why were there alternating serves? He never knew if it was his turn or if he was "allowed" to score a point. 

At lunch, he stood in a long cafeteria line. The smell of old pizza and oil lingered in the air. He grabbed a tray as he waited in line. Around him, people chattered on about the dance, about who they were going to vote for yearbook superlatives, and what other plans they had that weekend. When it was his turn to get served, he was given some of the most inedible food he had ever encountered in his life; a soggy piece of paper disguised as a slice of pizza, a cup of preserved peaches, green vegetable mush, and a carton of milk. Who wanted to drink milk with pizza? How was that considered reasonable? 

After fumbling with finding his student ID number to pay for his food, he stood looking around the green and grey tiled room for where to sit. Groups of people sat together, all talking or yelling loudly to each other even though they were just across the table from each other. To be honest, it was a bit overwhelming. However, when he spotted Connie in a quiet corner, alone at the long table near tall windows that looked out to the baseball field. Connie read Unfamiliar Familiar, the first book in the Spirit Morph Saga series as she ate the lunch she brought from home. And, that was his 'in'! He could talk to her about Lisa and Archimicarus,. 

When Steven tried to make his way over to sit with Connie, Matt intercepted him by putting his hand on Steven's shoulder and directing him toward their click's table, a full table where two guys were throwing pretzels at each other while three others were trying to convince a boy with shaggy dark hair to drink a concoction of chocolate milk, peach juice, ketchup, and a blob of the green mystery vegetable. 

As they walked over, and Matt turned Steven away from Connie, Matt said, "Bro, have you heard from-"

"No. I lost my phone. Well, Principal Johnston took it."

"Wait, you actually gave Johnston your phone? Why?"

"What other choice did I have?"

"Um, not give it to him. Those things are like a thousand dollars. No way they actually take them if you refuse and bring up how much it costs. I mean, I never give them mine."

"Don't they call your mom though?"

"Yeah, my mom just complains and tells them it was a ridiculous thing to call her about. Then they send me back to class"

"Well, my mom actually comes here."

"When has that stopped you before?"

"She's been really upset about it lately." 

"Again," Matt said before laughing, "when has that stopped you before?" 

"I don't want to really talk about this anymore. Look, we're just going to have to invite Braedon."

Matt's head dipped back. He sighed. Then he sat down at the table and said to the poor shaggy haired kid being pressured to drink the disgusting mixture, "Don't be a beta pussy, Nate. Drink it!" and slammed his hand down on the table. 

This was going to be a long afternoon. Steven sat with he group and stared off over at Connie, who read by herself. Quietly, she turned the pages, adjusted her soundproof over-the-ears headphones. Why was she alone?  He unconsciously took a bite of the rancid pizza and immediately spit it out the remnants onto the tray. 

"Bruh, great idea!" Matt said as he took the chewed tan and red clump and dumped it into the drink mixture. To poor Nate, Matt said, "I'll give you fifty-bucks." And then he added a salt packet in. "Actually, seventy-five." 

Stars, Simulation Steven's group of friends were psychopaths. Steven huffed and got up from the table. He did not want to witness Nate succumbing to peer pressure and most likely vomit once he drank the brown and green (now kind of grey?) mixture. Steven made his way across the cafeteria to Connie's table and sat down next to her. Connie's eyes shifted to him and then back to the text, barely acknowledging his existence. With a passive aggressive page turn, she sighed and kept reading, like he was never there. Like he was invisible. 

"Um, hey!" Steven said, nervously as he waved his hand in front of Connie's face. A crooked smile forced his way across his face. His heart pounded, and, for a moment, he forgot he was even in a simulation. It felt real like Connie never knew him and he was going to lose her because, apparently, he was a jackass in this universe. 

Connie rolled her eyes and took her headphones off. "What do you want?" 

"I just wanted to talk about the book you're reading." 

She glanced down at the cover. "You like this series?" 

"I love Spirit Morph Saga. " He wanted to add that she was the reason he knew about it, but held back, reminding himself this was not his normal universe. 

"This is my third time re-reading it," Connie said. 

"Third time! What do you think about the ending?" 

"Well, that's actually why I'm re-reading it again. I have this theory that's a little crazy... Want to hear it?"

"You called it crazy, so, yes, now I need to hear it." 

"Okay! Here it is: I think the ending of the final book is censored, so I'm annotating every book in the series for evidence." 

"You don't like the ending?" 

"It's..." Connie smiled and let out a breath. "Well, first, let's talk about the fifty page description of the wedding cake in the last book." 

"And, you don't like cake?" 

"Not that much," Connie said with a laugh. "You can't tell me you like that part." 

"I actually think it's my favorite part of the whole series." 

"Wow, then you must really like cake," she said, sarcastically to tease him.  

"I like the extended metaphor of the cake. It represents their relationship. And now that they're together, they're like a cake; their relationship has layers and now the best parts of each other are one." 

"Extended metaphor? Didn't you fail Language Arts last year? You used to pretend to read with a book covering your phone." 

"I dunno. Maybe I did. It apparently sounds like something I'd do," Steven said, eyes shifting up at the ceiling as he thought about the simulation's version of him. In this universe Simulation Steven failed English class, but in the real world he loved to read. 

But growing up in the real world, Pearl also wouldn't let him play video games or watch TV all day. She would kick him out of the Beach House and told him to go outside, ranting about how this was one of the most beautiful planets in the universe and he was taking all the natural wonders for granted by playing video games all day. 

"I guess here's my issue with the ending," Connie said. "It's too perfect. It's unrealistic. And, why do they need to be 'one'? They're like barely eighteen and married? Crazy. Who would do that?" 

"I mean, I think it's kind of romantic, especially after everything they've been through together. It makes it a bit happier as an ending, especially because before that they find out Lisa's father is a ghost and that she can't save him after all." 

"But that is realistic. Most heroes always accomplish their quest. The fact that Lisa can't save her father is a realistic tragedy. She loses her childhood to this quest she can't even accomplish...and that's why it's such a cop out to end it with a wedding." 

Wow. Steven's stomach sank. This conversation was hitting too close to home. In his mind, he tried to stop thinking about everything that happened, and how things barely did change. At least they saved Earth...

"I never thought about her finding her father like that; that the quest causes her to lose her childhood," Steven said. He thought about the book instead of real life. About how Lisa spent three whole books trying to find her father, only to discover the one-eyed man killed him. All those years lost only to get married right away the second Archimicarus turned human. "The wedding is a tragedy then."

"Okay, this I have to hear."

"If you think about it the way you explained it, that Lisa lost her childhood, then getting married to Archimicarus is just another step toward adulthood. It's like she doesn't even know how to be a kid at all because she never could and everyone has all these like adult-like expectations of her, so it makes sense to her, even though she's still really young."

"That is a really cool way to think about the wedding. Still don't think that means it warrants a fifty page cake description, though." And then it happened. Connie smiled as she looked him in the eyes and said, "I never thought you would be a fan of a fantasy book series. " 

"Yeah. I feel like I've cared so much about what people think, and I want to stop doing that. You know? I want to be a better person; be me." 

"I think that's really cool." 

"Thanks," Steven said. He looked down, away from her and at the light blue cafeteria tables. "I'm sorry if I've been a jerk." 

"Thank you," Connie said. 

The fact that she didn't deflect and try to say he wasn't a total scumbag was all Steven needed to realize that he truly was treating everyone like dirt. Simulation Steven thought he was cool, but he was actually a guy who was so afraid of what people thought of him that he pushed people who he could have a real friendship with away. 

"Are you going to the dance tonight?" Steven asked. 

"Me? Dance? Ugh, no. No way," Connie said, shaking her head. 

"Why not? I bet you'd have fun." 

Connie shook her head. "No. I'd have to go alone. Everyone usually goes to someone's house before to get ready and show up together." 

"You can come to my house." 

With a snort, Connie said, "With you and them?" She jerked her head to Matt's table.

The group of boys drummed their fists on the table, in unison, taunting poor Nate to drink the now-grey slime. When Nat finally relented and started to chug the plastic cup, Steven could see the gagging in his throat and his eyes crease into a wince. 

"I think some other girls are going to come, too," Steven said as if he was also trying to convince himself it was true. 

"Oh, like Juliana?" Connie said, condescending but poking fun at him. Her head tilted. 

"I don't like Juliana," Steven said. 

"You don't?" Connie tried not to grin. "Then who do you--" 

Before she could finish, Nate had finished the drink and it came back just as fast as he had chugged it. A green and brown pool of vomit splashed onto the cafeteria table. Matt was cracking up and dramatically chastising Nate for how gross he was being. 

What a total jerk. Steven stood up, and with a brisk walk, made his way back to the table. The custodian had already sprung into action, emptying a bag of sawdust onto the table. Nate's eyes were red like he was about to erupt into tears and die from embarrassment. Steven asked Nate if he was okay, and Nate buried his face into his hands and muttered, "I don't know."

Steven glared at Matt and yelled, "Why did you do that?"

Still laughing, Matt said, "Are you kidding me, bro?"

"No. I'm definitely not 'Kidding you, bro.'"

"Chill, Steven. It's pretty fucking hilarious."

Like it was right on cue, Nate started to throw-up again. This would haunt him all throughout high school, maybe even beyond. 

"It's not! Look at him!" Steven said. "You're--You're a jerk! No, actually, not just a jerk. You're an asshole!" 

Matt stopped chuckling. In an instant, his blue eyes glowered at Steven, silent like a predator waiting for the perfect moment to pounce and escalate the whole situation. His arms hung by his sides and his fingers twitched. The whole cafeteria subsided into an almost dead silence besides the whispers about what would happen next. Instinctively, to match the contempt in Matt's eyes, Steven stared back.

Steven had fought aliens, otherworldly beings, some of who had the power to literally possess minds. He survived his light had being separated from his body. This was a stupid middle school confrontation. This was nothing. This was also a very immature thing to get punched in the face over. 

Now the cafeteria was so quiet that Steven could not even hear the whispers. Several people had their phones out, waiting for the eventual physical part to start. Off to the side, a teacher started to try and deescalate the stare-down, but Steven tuned her out. He could tell Matt was going to fight him. He looked at Steven like Jasper used to, back when she wanted revenge. 

Without warning, Matt charged at Steven and attempted to grab him, but Steven stepped out of the way. The dodge sent Matt to stumbling into another table, almost falling on top of the group of kids sitting there. Matt steadied himself and, again, glared at Steven.

Steven was so focused on defending himself from Matt that he didn't realize two other guys from the lunch table group were behind him. They grabbed his arms, constricting him in place so he couldn't avoid Matt's attack. The teacher, panicked, yelled into the radio that there was a fight in the cafeteria. 

As Steven tried to squirm out of their grip, his face stung as Matt punched him several times. Eventually Steven was able to shake one of the guys off, but realized to be free of the second one he needed to hit him, so he did. The second guy let go and fell to the floor. Steven's fist throbbed after. That never happened in the real world. But in the real world, he wasn't a regular human. He didn't realize what it actually felt like to be matched with another human of equal strength. He flicked his wrist to relieve the sting in his knuckles, but Matt seized him by the shoulders, and tried to strike him again. But Steven grabbed Matt back and forced him off of him, pushing him down to the floor. 

Blood trickled out of Steven's mouth. It tasted like metal. He sniffed in his nose, inhaling snot. He had never wanted to actually hurt someone before. When it came to Gem things, he usually found talking it out or finding creative solutions was always an option. But now? Matt looked at him like he was going to wipe the floor with his head. So, this time when Matt charged at him again, Steven did it. He wound up and punch Matt square in the face.

A fountain of blood poured out of Matt's nose. He let out a wail that broke out into crying. 

Steven probably broke Matt's nose and made him cry, and now Steven felt like he was going to cry, too. His tried to apologize, saying he was sorry. But at this point the school resource officer, two male teachers, and Principal Johnston were guiding Steven to the office as the school nurse was looking at Matt's nose with the assistant principal. 

Principal Johnston's office was in the corner of the first floor of the school. His walls had large windows that overlooked onto the school parking lot and the main entrance walkway. The sun poured through. A large desk was in the corner. On it was a picture of Principal Johnston and a woman Steven presumed was his wife. On the bookshelf a few "Teacher of the Year" from the mid-2010s plaques were displayed. 

Steven sat at a small conference table in the middle of the room. Across from him, Principal Johnston sat. He offered Steven a water, and Steven accepted. When Johnston came back, he set down a cup of water and an icepack for Steven's face, which pounded like his head was going to explode. 

Pearl was going to kill him. Now he probably wouldn't even be able to go to the dance. He just wanted to go back home; to his real universe and out of the simulation. But he couldn't figure out how to get the wrist control device to come back. He stared at his wrist, trying to figure out if there was a hidden button or something he misses. Peridot barely explained how to use it, and he didn't realize it would disappear like this. 

"Your mother is on her way," Johnston said. He sighed and stared at Steven across the table. "I just don't understand." 

"Understand what?" 

"Why you do these things. From what I understand you made Nate drink some vile mixture, made him throw--" 

"I didn't do that! That was Matt!" Steven said. 

"Come on, DeMayo. This isn't the first time this has happened." 

"I didn't do anything. Matt was the one who made Nate drink that gross stuff! I just called Matt an asshole, and then he was the one who started to fight me! I was--I was def--" 

"Enough!" Johnston said. "You need to start taking responsibility for your actions." 

Steven buried his face into his hands. He looked at the clock. It was around noon. At least Pearl's final exam was over. Maybe he didn't ruin her day too much? 

After the nurse looked at him to make sure he didn't have a concussion, the office assistant from earlier, Mrs. Sachs, opened the door to Johnston's office and let Pearl in. 

Pearl still wore her oversized dress shirt and and a pair of jeans. Her sunglasses were still on. A leather messenger bag hung from her right shoulder. With a stone face, she said hello to Principal Johnston, shook his hand, and sat down next to Steven. She did not even address his black eye, which was so unlike her. Was she really that mad? 

"Dr. Carroll, thank you for joining us." 

"Oh, Robert, you know I always look forward to our impromptu weekly meeting," Pearl said with sarcasm as she took her sunglasses off and set them on the table. Her eyes were red like she was trying to not cry.  

"I think Steven has some difficulty regulating his impulsivity," Principal Johnston said.  

"Yes. He gets that from his mother." The disdain in Pearl's tone made a chill radiate up and down Steven's spine. 

"And, this is the, um, I believe the fourth time in two months Steven has been in a physical altercation." 

"It's actually the fifth," Pearl said with a huff. 

"Unfortunately, with the consistency of these altercations and the fact that Steven broke the other student's nose means he will get a week-long suspension instead of just one day." 

"I promise he will get consequences at home. I don't have to work next week, and I will be there the whole time." Pearl glared at Steven. "You're grounded." 

"Wait! What about the dance?" Steven said. 

"The dance?" Pearl began to laugh. "Oh, there's no way you're going to the dance." Her eyes, empty, turned to Principal Johnston. "How-how can we make this work better?" 

"To be honest? I think it would be better if we talked one-on-one about some options." 

Pearl nodded, and Principal Johnston asked Steven to go and wait in the chair outside of his office. 

In the main office area, Steven sat with the ice pack against his eyes. The main office phones rang and the office assistants typed on keyboards. The florescent lights started to give him a headache and his cheekbone ached. As he waited and looked at his wrist, trying to figure out how to get the device to come back so he could get out of the simulation early, he heard a panicked woman's voice say, "Hi, I believe the principal is meeting with my wife about our son, Steven," and charm the office assistant by adding, "Oh my God, I love your glasses chain." 

As the office assistant thanked her for the compliment, Steven looked up and saw her; his mother. Her pink hair was up in a ponytail, curls spiraling down her back. She wore dirty tan work overalls and a light green long sleeved shirt. It was odd to see her in normal clothes instead of her iconic dress.    

When she saw Steven sitting in the chair with an icepack against his face, she said, "Steven! Oh, my God," and rushed over to him. She knelt down so they were eye level and embraced him. She was warm and smelled like dirt and the earth and a citrusy floral deodorant scent. Her arms, her presence, calmed Steven somehow just by being next to him. He loved it.

And for some reason, he felt like everything was going to be okay. That his mother would save him, that he didn't need to do anything else because he had her. 

He stayed in her arms as she pulled back and took a look at the bruise on his face. "Oh, sweetheart, that black eye looks painful. Are you okay?"  

He nodded, and she kissed his cheek. Told him she wanted to take a look at it. Examined his face, wincing at the pain he was in, and lightly caressed his cheek. Made a "shshsh" sound, told him it was going to be okay and brushed his hair with her fingers.  She looked so human. Brown eyes with long, fluttery eyelashes blinked fast. Light freckles dotted across her nose. She had rosy cheeks formed a dimple on her right side as her pink lips pursed.

"What happened?" she asked.  

He forgot to remind himself this was a simulation; that this was a ridiculous thing to be upset about. It wasn't like the world was going to end. He conveniently forgot because this Mom wasn't like the one he dreamed up in her room. This was one different. This one felt like a person. This one felt like the closest thing to her he would ever experience. 

Chapter Text

Steven knew this was not real. Although, it felt real, and because of that he had to keep reminding himself, catch himself from getting too excited. After all, if couldn't figure out how to get the wrist thingy back, he might as well enjoy the world until his time was up. So, momentarily, he allowed himself to forget it wasn't real. Instead, he focused on the warm hug from his mother. How her smell made the knots in his chest disappear. How he was just a regular person here, and so was she. 

And, for some reason the idea of her being a person made Steven start to cry. All of it came out. The bad start to the day. Matt being a total jerk. How he wasn't even at the table when Nate threw up. That he was trying to help Nate and called Matt an asshole (and he was quite sorry for that). How Matt was the one who attacked him first.

His mother told him it was going to be okay. Squeezed him in a hug again, and then stood up and asked the office assistant where Pearl and the principal were.

The office assistant knocked on Assistant Principal Johnston’s office door, poked her head in, said Ms. Diamond was here. Then the door closed. Steven waited alone, and asked himself if that really happened. He just wanted his mother to hug him again. It was nice. He felt safe; like everything was going to be okay. 

But he also had to question why was he crying about something so childish. It wasn't like he ever had to come back here once the time was up. It wasn't like the world almost shattered. It wasn't like The Cluster was about to destroy Earth or the Diamonds took his dad into space. It was just stupid, middle school friend drama. Immature issues. 

A few minutes later Principal Johnston's door opened, revealing Johnston's head peeking through. "Steven, why don't you come back and join us?" 

Back in the office, his mother had a smug smile on her face. However, Pearl looked pissed. Her arms were crossed and a sour expression made her stiff upper lip tremble like Amethyst just unloaded a junk pile into Pearl's room in the temple. He took the seat next to his mother, who sat between him and Pearl. 

Mr. Johnston began with, "Your mother, Ms. Diamond, told us what you said outside and suggested we look at the cameras. On the footage we saw that you weren't even sitting at the able when Nate vomited. It actually looks like you were trying to see if he was okay, and then the altercation with the other student happened, and that the other student was the instigator."

Before Principal Johnston played the footage, Rose reached over for Pearl's hand, covering it with her palm. Pearl remained frozen. Her face was still like a stone statue as she watched the video for what Steven presumed to be the second time. 

Steven saw himself on the video footage. Wow, that was a great dodge. Pearl would have been proud of him for one like that. However, she would have pointed out Steven's disregard for more people entering the fight. She would have a tip for him to prevent that from happening in the future. But, he had to give himself the credit; he did a great job shaking the other two guys off. And, Matt was definitely not expecting a hit to his face like that. Overall, he deserved several stickers for it, even though Pearl had stopped that years ago. 

"See?" Rose said, gesturing to the computer screen. "He even dodged the first strike." Then she mouthed, It was a good one to Steven, tapping him with her elbow, making him smile and his whole heart fill with joy.  

But the footage only made Pearl roll her eyes and pull her hand away from his mother's. What was actually going on here? Steven's mouth dropped as he thought about how the real Pearl would react if she could hold his mother's hand just one more time, and here was this human simulation of Pearl who looked like she wanted to crawl out of her skin from the touch of Rose's finger tips. 

"Rose, he broke Matt's nose," Pearl said, hitting her fist into the palm of her hand for effect. 

"Matt was the one who decided to charge at him. Steven didn't even try to hit him at first. He only did it after they held him down and repeatedly hit him!"

Pearl gripped the arms of her chair. She squirmed in her seat like she wanted to pace around the room and yell at his mother (much like how she argued with Amethyst), but knew she had to restrain herself.

"Matt went to the hospital," Pearl said. "And, this is Steven's fifth fight in two months." 

Fifth fight in two months? And Pearl was the one who had to meet with the principal every time? Dang, poor Pearl. 

"Seriously, Pearl, you can't tell me that--" Rose began to say. 

"He's also addicted to his cell phone and failing math," Pearl said, rushed, almost manic like she needed to get it out before Rose interrupted her again. 

"And Language Arts," Mr. Johnston added. 

"And, Language Arts?" Pearl shot Steven a look, arching her eyebrows. Her eyes were like daggers, and her jaw slacked, opening her mouth in disgust. 

Steven shrugged as he gave her an apologetic smile. What else could he do? It wasn't like him, the actual Steven was failing Language Arts, it was the Simulation Steven. 

"Rose, before you got here," Pearl started to say, slow like she was dancing around a sensitive topic, fingers pressed together in anxiety, "Robert and I discussed some--" 

"You're on a first name basis with the assistant principal?" Rose said, scoffing in disbelief. 

With a sigh, like this was the dumbest thing for Rose to be in uproar about considering the reason why they were in the office in the first place, Pearl said, "That point just adds to my argument. It's been suggested for Steven to see the school psychologist. And I ag--" 

"You know what? Steven looks really tired and his face is bruised. We really should take him to the doctor to check for a concussion," Rose said, cutting off Pearl like she knew what she was about to say and did not agree with it. She stood up like she was going to leave. 

"The nurse checked him and, besides the black eye, he's fine," Pearl said, her voice wavering in exasperation like she was about to shatter. 

Was Pearl of all people really not worried about if he might have a concussion? How often did stuff like this happen that she was more concerned about other things than the fact that Steven had a bruise from being punched in the face? 

And that was when Steven realized this family dynamic was not what he expected. What did Peridot say about real life? That it was boring? This was definitely not boring. This was definitely not exciting either. It was...something he could not fully explain, only that his chest twisted into knots as he saw his mother and Pearl interact with each other. It was like when he was little and the Gems argued while he tried to cheer everyone up or talk them into forgiving each other. Was he the one doing this to them? Wait, no not him, Simulation Steven. They were different. He had to remember that. 

To save the conversation, Principal Johnston said, "In all seriousness, Steven's impulsivity is not isolated to this particular incident. He gets at least three cell phone referrals a day. Today, I had to take his phone away. He runs in the hallways. Teachers also say he has a tendency to ignore or not hear directions and blurt out--" 

"Steven, let's go," Rose said.

Steven did not know what to do. Pearl was seated like she had no intention to leave, legs crossed, arms crossed, as she sat comfortably in the chair, while his mother was egging him on to leave the office with her. He looked over at Pearl, whose eyes begged him to stay seated so he did. 

When he didn't move, Rose smiled with malice at Pearl, like she was about to laugh in disbelief, and then she shot a look back at Steven. "Really?" she asked him. 

"I don't, um, I-I..." What should he do or say? 

"Let's, um, table this discussion," Principal Johnston said as he gave Steven the first sympathetic look he probably had ever given Steven. "Think it over and schedule a meeting for next week on Monday or Tuesday? We can discuss Steven's return to school then." 

"Greg can't make it next week," Rose said, folding her arms. "I don't want to have this discussion without him here." 

"Understandable," Principal Johnston said as he tried to maintain a polite grin.

Pearl shook her head. "Really? Using Greg to stall?" 

"Are you kidding me, Pearl?" Rose said. 

"How about this?" Principal Johnston said. "I'll send an email reminder to everyone and we can coordinate what days and times work best. Sound good?" 

They left the office without saying a word to each other. Out in the parking lot, he realized that Pearl and his mother, both coming from work, had driven separately, and he didn't know what car to get into. 

He stood in the parking lot as they both went in different directions. His mother called him over, to get into the car. He glanced over at Pearl, who nodded for him to go with Rose. He listened and got into the car, again trying to figure out how to get the device on his wrist to come back so he could go home. 

Rose did not get into the car immediately. Instead, she went over to Pearl and started talking to her. Steven could not hear well and could not catch it but he did hear Pearl's reply. 

"I'm sick of you deflecting away from this topic every time it comes up! It makes me the bad guy, and I'm not!" Pearl said, almost yelling. "Oh, and by the way, they know you blocked the school's phone number, especially since you only responded and came when I finally texted you about what happened!" 

"They call about the most ridiculous things!" 

"Well, those 'things' have compounded to the point where they're not ridiculous! You can't just block the school number!"

"Hard disagree." 

"What if there's an emergency?" Pearl said before her voice became unintelligible. 

"You saw them in there. They didn't even believe him!" Rose said. 

"They don't believe him bec--"

"Don't make it 'them.' You didn't believe him either." 

"That's because things like this happen at least once a week. Something has to be done before, before--" 

"You can't just make unilateral decisions." 

"I can't make decisions? You're kidding me? I'm the only one who shows up when there's an issue. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. And he hates me! I can tell. He won't even look at me half the time when I talk to him. He hates me..." Pearl started to cry, letting out a small sob. Rose tried to hug her, but she stepped back with her arms folded, palm up against Rose's chest. 

"Oh, baby, he doesn't hate you," Rose said, this time wrapping her arms around Pearl who did not reciprocate. 

But then his mother whispered something into Pearl's ear as Pearl nodded into his mother's side. Rose kissed Pearl on the top of her head and stroked her hair. Then Rose looked down, mouth moving like she was saying something to Pearl. Finally, Pearl looked up, mascara and makeup smudged below her eyes. With her thumb, Rose wiped it away as she still talked to Pearl. 

When Pearl glanced up, Rose's lips met with hers and the contempt disappeared as they kissed. For some reason, it made the pit of Steven's stomach drop like when his floating powers failed him and caused him to fall to the ground. 

After his mother got into the car, she smiled at him and checked his bruise again. Her fingers lifted his chin up as she analyzed his face, his eyes. Then, palm on his forehead, she checked for a fever. "You feel warm," she said with an almost whisper. "Are you sure you're okay? 

"I'm okay." 

"All right." She put on a pair of sunglasses and started the car. Then she leaned back in the seat and sighed. When she started driving out of the school parking lot, she said, "You're not grounded, you know that, right?" 

"Um, okay." 

"And, Mr. Johnston said you could go to the dance because it was obviously self-defense." 

"Cool," Steven said meekly. 

"And, I'm also pretty sure he's going easy on this because he has a crush on Pearl. Like come on, they're on a first name basis?" Rose exhaled and sucked in her cheek, brushing her hair back away from her face, shaking her head. She turned the steering wheel and her demeanor changed like she buried the thought deep inside of her, away from the surface. "You're going to have a fun time at the dance, especially since Matt Myers got suspended. You wont have to worry about him." 

"Yeah. Fun." 

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?" 

"Pearl seems really upset." 

"Well, you know how she can be..." With a half-grin she looked over at him, like she was waiting for his mutual agreement. Steven had seen that smile before; he had the same one. 

"Mom?" 

"Yeah?" 

"I think...I think I've been kind of a jerk lately." 

"What? No, you're not a jerk." 

"Then why do you have the school's phone number blocked?" 

"I don't have it blocked...I screen it," she said with a cringing, half-apologetic smile. Her eyes winced. "And, half the stuff they call about is ridiculous. Like I don't need a phone call to be told you're running in the hallways again." 

Then, a memory flooded Steven's brain. Only, it wasn't a 'real' memory. It was from this simulation's Steven. Him and Matt Myers ran down the hallways with sports water bottles, squeezing the water at other students in the hallways. Both laughing as they got Juliana and her friends. As they kept running, Steven did not look ahead of himself, and crashed into a teacher as he sprayed the remaining water in the bottle all over the poor woman's face. Principal Johnston then yelled, "DeMayo!" as he speed-walked over to them. 

With guilt pressing on his chest, Steven said, "Mom, I don't think it was simply running in the hallways." 

"You're a kid, Steven. I don't know what they expect from you." She shook her head. "You're not a jerk. Okay? Middle school is such a weird time. Like it's really hard for everyone. It's probably the worst years in anyone's life." 

"I guess." 

"But," she said, her voice practically singing, "it's almost over! Hu-freaking-way, huh?"

"Yeah. Hurray." Steven had no enthusiasm in his voice. 

When they pulled into the driveway, Rose put the car in park. "Listen, Steven, I love you, and I'm glad you're okay. All right? You were standing up for someone else. That is the opposite of what a jerk would do. Think about it that way." 

"But I could have stopped it before it happened, but I was...I was..." How was he supposed to convey that he was too preoccupied with Connie and going to the dance to stop Nate from drinking the foul drink mixture. 

"Talking to that girl?" Rose smirked at him. Off his panicked look, his mother said, "What? I saw the security footage. It's okay. Don't be embarrassed. You know, I thought we could talk about stuff like this. Like how you told me you liked Juliana. Has that ship sailed?"

"I...Mom, I don't think I want to go to the dance anymore."

She pushed his hair back. "Sweetheart, don't let this one bad incident ruin the last dance. Okay?"

He nodded.

Rose looked at the time on the car console screen. "I have to go back to work. The nursery is getting a huge shipment of top soil and I need to make sure they don't screw up the unloading process like they did last time." 

She gave Steven a hug, squeezing him like he would disappear. And he embraced her back like it was the last time he would ever see her. 

And, it probably was. He needed to get out of this simulation. However, he liked this; having a mom to hug. It made every single anxiety, all fear, leave his body. He felt safe. It wasn't always like this with his dad. Well it used to be like this with his dad, but the feeling disappeared once he started going on missions with the gems; usually Steven was the one protecting his father, not the other way around.  

"Do me a favor?" she asked. 

"Okay." 

"Apologize to Pearl. She's trying her best, and sometimes that means her taking things way too seriously. But that just means she cares. You know?" 

"Yes, I do." 

"I love you," she said, smiling like everything in the world would be okay because she was there. 

"I love you, too, Mom." 

"Wait," Rose said, as she dug through her bag, revealing Steven's cell phone. "Got this back for you." She smiled and handed it to him. 

He had hundreds of notifications from apps he had never heard of. He thanked her, said goodbye again, and then went inside. 

Inside, Pearl stood in the kitchen, leaning against the white quartz countertops and drinking a glass of white wine. She was drinking something? And, alcohol nonetheless. What time was it? 2:00PM. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Steven enter the kitchen. He stopped in front of her. 

"Pearl?" 

"Yes?" she said, exhausted. 

"I don't hate you." 

"Oh, God. You heard that?" Her hand was over her mouth. 

"You were yelling. It was kind of hard not to." 

Pearl buried her face into her free hand. 

"I'm sorry I've been a jerk lately," Steven said. "I shouldn't be doing stuff that makes you come to school on a weekly basis, especially since Mom screens the school's calls and...does the school even have Dad's phone number?" 

"Not the current one," Pearl said rolling her eyes. Her voice strained like she was trying to stop herself from collapsing into sobs.  "I had them update it today." 

"But, um, I just want to say thanks for showing up and caring about it." 

Pearl's lips curled up. Eyelashes fluttered like she was trying not to cry. "Of course." She sniffed in and added, "It's not 'caring about it.' It's caring about you."

"Thank you," he said, giving her a hug. "I love you." 

When returning the embrace, she said, "I love you, too." When she let go, she said, "Better get some rest before you have to get ready." Then she felt his forehead again.

"Pearl, I'm fine."

"I know. Just checking." She switched to the back of her hand and mumbled to herself, "Maybe I'll go get the thermometer?"

"I'm fine."

"You should still ice your face so it doesn't get swollen." Pearl got him an icepack from the freezer and wrapped it in a clean dish towel. "Hold this here," she said, pressing the cold cloth against his cheek as she looked into his eyes like he was the most important thing in the world to her. 

Steven went upstairs to "rest" but really made it his mission to get the wrist device back so he could go home. He paced around his bedroom, staring at his wrist from every angle imaginable. Took a picture of it with his phone and zoomed in close to try and find it. No luck. Then he whispered, harsh like he wanted to emphasize 'HELP,' "Peridot! Peridot! I'm ready to go back! It's awful here! Well, not completely awful, but this Steven in this simulation, the one I'm being, is awful!" When he got no response, again he said, "Peridot! Please!" 

After no luck, he decided he was going to make the best of this. Maybe he could make Simulation Steven's life better. If he could only get Connie to go to the dance. Then he could make it perfect like he wanted. How would he even go about that? If he showed up at her house, her parents would definitely not let her go. They would think it was too forward of Steven, a kid they had never met, to just show up and expect their daughter to get ready for a formal dance with no warning. 

But then he wondered if Connie had the same phone number in this universe. He decided to send a text, ignoring the slew of social media notifications on his phone. 

Steven [3:47PM]: Hey! This is Steven Uni DeMayo. Just wanted to say, hi.

He waited in anticipation, watching the ellipses appear and then stop. 

Connie [3:50PM]: Hey! Are you okay after what happened today? That was an insane dodge! People can't stop talking about it. It's all over TikTok. 

What was that? Must be one of those apps that kept sending him notifications. 

Steven [3:52PM]: I'm good. Just got a black eye, but that's nothing. 

Connie [3:53PM]: I'm glad you're okay 😀. 

Connie [3:55PM]: It was really cool talking to you at lunch about The Spirit Morph Saga, even though you liked the ending 👀

Steven [3:58PM]: Hey! I can't help it if I thought it was sweet that Lisa and Archamicarus got together in the end! They were always so thoughtful towards each other, and I was so happy when they found the spell to make him human. It's nice...

Connie [4:01PM]: 😂 Like when? 

Steven [4:03PM]: The volcano in Book 3! He was so worried about her, he cried. 

Connie [4:04PM]: I thought that was because they lost the sword. 

Steven [4:06PM]: 😮What? No, it's because he cares about her. 

He waited in anticipation for Connie to respond. After ten minutes, he had almost given up and contemplated to just go for it and ask her to the dance. But then he got another message from Connie. 

Connie [4:11PM]: I just reread that part! Okay...maybe you're right 🤯. I was way too into the anti-authoritarian subtext of the novel and what Lisa's cloak represents (how she must hide who she truly is). 

Steven liked her text and then sent over the invite to the dance. 

Steven [4:14PM]: I know you said you weren't going to go, but I just wanted to check and see if you wanted to go to the dance? ☺️

He pressed send, tossed his phone out of view across his bed so he didn't have to see the response right away, and waited, lying on the bed and staring at the ceiling. 

Then he heard the ding. 

Connie [4:18PM]: Not gonna lie. I did buy a dress weeks ago...

Steven [4:20PM]: So...yes? 😅

Connie [3:22PM]: All right 🙂

Steven fist pumped and jumped up to dance around before texting her the details to meet up before at his house. 

However, after a brief moment of celebration, he realized this was not real. This was not actually Connie. She didn't remember anything they had done together. She didn't remember saving the world, going to Homeworld, or flying through space. 

He was going to have to get to know her again. This time he was nervous though. For some reason the idea of taking her to a dance terrified him. This wasn't like hanging out on the beach or getting a donut at the Big Donut together. 

So, he practiced; how to dance, how to ask her questions, how to stand like a 'cool guy.' He felt a bit ridiculous. 

After a few hours, he was hungry, so he went down stairs. Pretty soon he would have to get ready. According to the dozens of texts he received, a decent number of people were coming over to his house before. 

Downstairs, he heard voices in the kitchen, but they were not loud enough to make out their entire conversation. He did hear Pearl laugh at something though. As he made his way into the kitchen, he heard more clearly. 

"Rose, he can't continue doing things like this." 

Mumbled speech. 

"I'm serious," Pearl said. "I think we should get him screened for ADHD or--" 

"It's just him being fourteen," his mother said, now clearly. 

"No, it's not. I'm worried." 

"Greg did stuff like this all the time back when he was Steven's age." 

"Again, we should get him screened for ADHD," Pearl said dryly.

"Greg did fine."

"Well, he's not Greg. And I want him to do better than fine." 

Mumbled speech 

"That tickles... No, this isn't about medicating him. I think if--" Pearl let out a laugh, almost a shriek. Then she giggled again while saying, "I'm serious. Just because your doing that to my ear doesn't mean..." A pause longer than he ever wanted to experience in this situation. Pearl then said,  "He could come downstairs any minute." Another long pause. "Enough. Rose, please listen to me. I'm worried about him." 

"Can we talk about it later? When he's at the dance?" Rose said. 

"I guess..." 

He decided it was now or never. He stepped forward, leaving the hallway. In the kitchen, he saw Pearl cutting vegetables and the back of a tall woman with curly pink hair, holding Pearl from behind, whispering something into her ear, making Pearl laugh again. Rose then held Pearl tighter and rocked back and forth.

Had he ever seen Pearl this calm and happy before? Of course not, she was a nervous wreck plagued by PTSD.

Pearl put down the knife she was using to cut vegetables, and turned around, still in Rose's embrace, to look up at her. Then, they kissed, which, even though he had seen it happen earlier made Steven's mouth drop. Pearl pulled away and buried her head into Rose, resting her cheek against Rose's chest. Rose kissed the top of her head. When Pearl realized Steven stood at the edge of the hallway, looking into the kitchen, she simply said, "Hi Steven. Did you have a good rest?" 

Then his mother turned her head, pushing back the curtain of hair that hid her face behind her ear. "Hi sweetheart." She let go of Pearl. As she washed her hands in the sink, she asked, "How's the bruise? 

"I'm feeling okay," Steven said, very slowly.

Rose gave him a hug. Steven could smell her perfume or body wash. Probably took a shower after work. She put her hand on his forehead, like Pearl had done several times earlier that day. "Pearl, he's fine," she said without looking back. She winked at Steven and smiled like they had an inside joke together about Pearl being anxious. "Well, except about..." She turned back to Steven, hands on his shoulders.

"I know it's the dance tonight and today was pretty dramatic, but we really need to talk about this math grade problem." She motioned her head for him to sit on a stool at the kitchen island.

As Steven sat at the counter, he realized his mother wore a grey crewneck sweatshirt and black leggings. Pearl, who continued cutting vegetables, still wore her jeans from earlier and now had on a more casual, long-sleeved, light green gauze Oxford-style shirt, with the buttons open to reveal a white crew neck tank top. He noticed a bottle of white wine, one-third full, and a wine glass, a quarter full, on the counter next to Pearl. 

"Is it the phone? Is it distracting you?" Rose asked. 

"It might be," Steven said. This was odd, but exhilarating. He was being scolded about not doing math homework! Nothing about training or learning Gen Glyph or messing with one of the gem’s things. He was a normal kid with math homework problems. Of course, there was the fight with Matt, but that was also still pretty normal! It wasn't like when he had to fight Jasper after she returned to Earth.  

"I think we should take the video games out of his room at night," Pearl said before sighing and adding not-so-subtly under her breath, "In addition to other things....Many other things..." 

"Do you think that would help, Steven?" Rose asked. 

Why were they asking him what he thought? 

"Maybe," he said. 

"All right. It's settled then. No video games on weeknights for the rest of the school year." 

"So a month?" Pearl deadpanned, not impressed with the consequence. 

"Pearl, I'm not going to ban video games in the summer," Rose said. 

Pearl pursed her lips and went back to cutting vegetables. 

Rose smiled at Steven and stroked his hair. "So, tell us more about today." 

"Tell you about today?" 

"Yeah, what happened? Besides the shiner." 

"Um, okay..." Steven smiled back before recounting what he learned in his class, and how he really liked Language Arts that day even though he was apparently failing the class. 

After they talked about the book they were reading in class, his mother said, "Also, your dad texted me. He said he isn't going to get back from Illinois in time to spend the day with you tomorrow. I traded him a day next weekend instead." 

"Third time in a row," Pearl muttered. 

"Why is Dad in Illinois?" Steven asked. 

Rose's forehead crinkled. Again, she put her palm on Steven's forehead. "Are you okay? You're acting odd." Her lips pursed. "Your pupils are fine, so it's not a concussion."

"The nurse already checked for that," Pearl said, slightly annoyed as it was at least the third time she had told his mother this. 

"I'm going to get a thermometer," Rose said before leaving the room. 

Pearl turned around to reveal a vegetable tray. She put it down on the counter and popped a carrot into her mouth. She smiled at Steven. "I can't wait to see you in your suit for the dance. You're going to look so handsome." 

"Thanks," Steven said. 

"It's too bad your father couldn't be here. I'll take pictures to send him though." 

"Why is he in Illinois?" 

"Steven," Pearl said, "it's extremely concerning that you forgot your own father is on tour with his band...because they've been touring for the better part of a year now." 

"Tour? He's successful?" Steven paused and realized since his father was not the only one taking care of him, he never needed to quit his band. 

Pearl, now eating a second carrot stick, scoffed, "Successful? That's too funny." 

Suddenly, Pearl stopped chewing. A blank look overtook her face. Then, her expression contorted into one of nervous panic. 

"FINALLY!" Pearl said. "I've been looking everywhere for you!I even—“ Her mouth scrunched up in disgust, and her tongue moved around. "Is this food?" she said, mumbly like she was trying to not swallow any of the chewed carrot. Pearl grabbed a paper towel and spit the carrot out.

“Why was I eat-- never mind, it doesn't matter," she said. "I searched everywhere. I even got desperate and warped to Homeworld. Ugh, and I had to interact with Yellow Pearl because none of the Diamonds would 'receive me.' The audacity!" She rolled her eyes. "It was miserable. And of all places, you're here" She looked around. "I absolutely need to see the code Peridot wrote for this." Then she realized he had a black eye and put her hands on Steven's shoulders. "Stars! What happened? Are you okay?" Her eyes narrowed. "Who did this to you?" 

"Long story. It's fine, Pearl. It's just a simulation anyway."

After a pause, she tilted her head. “Wait. You have really bad bruise on your face, and...why was I eating food?” Then she looked around again like she had new eyes, scanning the kitchen. Then she felt her own forehead. "My gem is gone." She glanced down, analyzing her outfit, fingers pinching the fabric of her cotton shirt. With a slow, cautious cadence, she said, "Steven, what did you have Peridot simulate?" 

"Um, well..." 

“You know what?" Pearl said. "It doesn’t even matter. I just came here to say I was sorry, and that I know you’re probably stressed about going to space, and, in truth…” She began to tear up. “I’m going to miss you so much.” 

“I’m going to miss you too.” 

When Pearl hugged him, he momentarily forgot they were in the simulation. It was like now she, the real Pearl, was here, he could somehow get out of this and go back to the real world. Like the knots in his chest loosened and he felt happy and calm. He was going to miss this when he left.

After she released the embrace, she stood up and took a step back. She held up her wrist and said “Device.” The coder appeared on her wrist. 

"What? That’s how you get that thingy!” 

“Yes, and we really should be getting back. Not because I’m going to make you study, but it would be nice to do something with Garnet and Amethyst. Just us four...and Greg, I guess, if he has nothing to do. Like old times? Before everything changed. Not that I don’t like the change or that I want the gems to be corrupted again, but I think we all just miss the simplicity of it all. You know?” 

"All right Steven, let's take your temp and pray that it's normal so you can still go to the dance," Rose's voice sang behind Pearl, who eyes widened and mouth dropped. 

Pearl felt her forehead again and let her fingers linger in amazement. Her eyes widened. As Rose walked by, she pecked Pearl on the cheek. Pearl's hand moved to her cheek, flabbergasted that she could actually feel Rose.

"Open," Rose said to Steven. “Under the tongue until the time goes off." She put the thermometer in Steven's mouth, and then she looked over at Pearl. "Pearl, where did you get that watch? Looks high tech." 

Steven waited for the timer and to see what Pearl would do next. He could see her chest rising up and down, breathing in deeply even though she didn't technically need to breathe...but this form of her did. Without warning, she wrapped her arms around Rose, holding her tight. 

Rose, surprised by the hug, smiled and said, "I wasn't gone that long," and giggled. But when Pearl wouldn't let go, with concern, Rose held her head, caressing both her cheeks and whispered, "Hey, honey, are you okay?” 

As she cried Pearl said, "It's you." 

And Steven knew Pearl could feel a person behind the simulation of his mother too. Just like he did. 

Chapter Text

“It’s you,” Pearl said.  

“Who else would I be?” The thermometer timer went off. Rose rubbed Pearl’s back as Pearl clung to her, and said, “Steven what’s the temp?” 

“98.9”

“Great.” She pulled Pearl in closer, allowing her to cry into her shoulder. Smoothed her hair. “Steven, how about you go shower? You know, so you can smell nice if you end up dancing with someone?” 

Steven paused. He did not want to leave Pearl alone with this simulation's version of his mother. “I just want to see if Pearl is—“ 

“Steven. I’m serious. Please listen to my directions” Rose said. Her voice was forceful, warning, like she had told him this before in similar situations. 

“But—“ 

Rose waved her hand, pointed out of the kitchen, and mouthed “Now!” to him. She then whispered something to Pearl and kissed the top of her head.

Steven obeyed the directions, but decided to pretend to go all the way up the stairs to the bathroom, wait at the top, and see if he could listen and make sure Pearl was okay. 

“Baby, what happened when I left?” Rose asked. 

“Nothing,” Pearl said.

"Was it about what happened today?" 

"What happened today?" 

“Maybe we should take your temperature, too,” Rose said. 

"What do you mean? My body temperature?" 

"What other temperature is there to take?" Rose asked. A pause. Steven imagined Rose was feeling Pearl's forehead. 

"I don't see that as necessary," Pearl said.  

"You don't feel warm. Look, we've had a bad day. But that means there's so much potential for it to get better," Rose said. 

"I guess that's true," Pearl said. "You've always been adept at identifying the approbatory conditions of situations." 

“Are you getting emotional over Steven’s first big formal dance?” 

“A formal dance?” 

Another pause. His mother asked, slow with caution, "Baby, are you sure you're okay?" 

“I’m fine,” Pearl said. Her voice sounded calmer. “I apologize if I alarmed you.” 

“Come on, I know you’re going to be so excited to take pictures of him all dressed up. And, the shiner just adds character.”

”Yes, it does,” Pearl said, her voice half exhausted and amused. "It reminds me of the time he got a scratch on his face, and I went a little overboard and bandaged his whole head." 

"What? When did that happen?" 

"Um, when?...I am not sure?" 

"Did it happen when I was at work?" 

"Maybe...I don't know. He was obviously fine though." 

Another pause. 

"You just want him to be safe.," Rose said. 

"Yes, I do." 

“Also, we know it's going to get better because while he’s gone you and I can have some alone time.” 

Then they went quiet again.

Now Steven felt like an intruder so he listened to directions and went to the bathroom to shower. 

Steven rushed in the shower and changed into his dress pants and shirt. After, he ran back downstairs to make sure Pearl wasn’t losing her mind. As he descended the stairs, he stopped when he saw his mother and Pearl, not Simulation Human Pearl, his universe's Pearl, curled up on the couch together. 

“Steven, you should get dressed. Your friends are going to be here soon,” his mother said. 

“I, um, I...” Steven stammered in panic, looked down at his starch Ralph Lauren shirt. “Tie! Yes, help with the tie. Pearl?” 

“I think the words you are looking for are, 'Pearl, would you please help me tie a tie?'” Pearl said. 

“Yes, please help!” 

Rose nudged Pearl with her elbow. “He’s just nervous.” 

“I’ll be right there,” Pearl said. 

Again, Steven hurried and searched through his closet to find a tie, successfully discovering a pink one that would be a perfect match for his blue suit.  He put the tie over his shoulders, the two ends hanging limp and swaying as he paced around the room. 

When Pearl opened and then closed the bedroom door, Steven said, “What are you doing?!?” 

“The same thing you’re doing,” she said, crossing her arms. 

“What about going back to hang out with Amethyst and Garnet?”

”They won’t miss us if we’re gone for a few hours.” Pearl tilted her head at him, smirking. 

“So, now you want to stay?!” 

Pearl sighed. “We both miss things being normal. This is a nice, uh, what's the word I'm looking for...distraction. Yes, a distraction.” She shrugged her shoulders.  

“She is not Mom!” Steven said with a harsh whisper. He felt like he was talking to himself six hours ago. 

Pearl looked down at the ground. “I looked at the code…not that you could read it since you don’t know Gem Glyph.” She said into her wrist, “Device.” The wrist device appeared on her forearm. She pressed the touch screen until it projected a hologram visual containing code. “If you want to get existential about it, we are light. This is a quantum computer. Every gem is essentially a quantum being.” 

“I don’t get it.” 

“There's two ways to look at it. Basically you could say we and the universe are advanced AI, and are essentially code, just like Peridot's computer.” 

“What?!” 

She rolled her eyes. “Or if you want to get all 'human' about it, the light is like our soul. Our soul can go into the computer, which is an exact copy of everything that has ever existed.” 

“Meaning?” 

Pearl smiled. “She is her. Kind of. Like a copy of her.” 

“This isn’t real!” 

”It feels real, so why can’t it be?” 

His eyes got wide. “Come on Pearl. You hate humans. In this simulation, you literally are one.” 

“It’s not so bad.” She shrugged. "I mean, I know I won’t be eating carrots again any time soon, but I can live with this.” 

"You're going to get hungry and have to eat at some point." Got her, he thought.  

"I'm aware." Pearl sighed. "I'll figure it out when the time comes. Maybe try a smoothie?" 

"A smoothie?!" Steven nearly threw himself onto the bed in frustration. “You just want to...“ He winced. “Be alone with Mom, don’t you?”

Pearl turned off the wrist device. It disappeared again, leaving her forearm bare besides Simulation Pearl's actual Apple watch. “And?” 

“It’s not real!!”  

"The one thing she ever wanted, besides you, was to be like humans because you are able to grow and change. In this world, she is one. And you’re here too…and everyone is safe. Things are boring, but boring is nice. I used to think otherwise.” 

“Are you kidding me?” Steven said. He face-palmed. 

“Come on, it’s kind of beautiful. No gems stuff. No hierarchy. No one telling me a Diamond won’t ‘receive’ me.” Pearl smiled. "I teach other humans physics as a profession. It's pretty exhilarating to think about!" 

“Pearl, this is like a -- like a video game. Peridot coded this.” 

“You do realize you’re talking to someone who was made with a start menu?” 

Steven’s heart dropped. Stomach turned. Like all his light had left him. He thought about the thousands of years Pearl spent learning as little about human culture as she could, how she did not understand why he wanted to go to school, or how it confounded her why people (even Amethyst) ate food for enjoyment and not just for survival. 

“Because how am I any different from her? I have a gem? Well, whoopie. That’s it? We're both still light.” 

“Pearl, I didn’t realize…” he paused, not knowing what to say. Maybe she was right? Maybe his mother was kind of real? She felt real, especially her hugs and the way she cared about him. 

“You don’t-- no -- can't understand how this works. It’s one of the reasons why I was trying to help you learn Gem Glyph.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“Let’s just pretend." Pearl gave him a weak smile. "At least until it’s time for you to go back.” 

As he looked into Pearl’s eyes, Steven saw the pain that never went away. “So, Pear-Mum? How do I do this?” He gestured to the tie. 

Pearl grinned and directed him on what to do; how to loop and knot it the fabric correctly. When he had it tied. Pearl looked at him quizzically with her hand holding her chin and said, “We need to do something with your hair. I’ll be right back.”

When she came back, she left his bedroom door open. She put some type of product into his hair, smoothing it. “You look great.” Pearl started to tear up again. As she hugged Steven, she said, “I love you.” 

“I love you too.” 

“Shall we show her?” 

Downstairs, his mother was vacuuming the area rug in the living room. When Rose saw Steven at the stair landing, she said, "Hold it there! I need to get a picture of you." 

As Pearl stood next to his mother taking pictures, she watched, staring at Rose with loving amazement and realized she should also take pictures. Out of her back pocket, she took out her phone and took several pictures of him, encouraging to do some poses. "Steven, come on. You look so handsome. Be more confident! Don't slouch." When Steven strengthened his posture, Pearl said, "Like that!" 

In what seemed like a flash of time, a slew of dings on his phone resulted in knocks at his front door, and, before he knew it, his house filled with people he recognized from school and their parents. 

But the only person he wanted to see was Connie. 

After indoor pictures and his mother pushing the vegetable and cheese trays Pearl apparently made earlier on the guests, Steven and his friends were outside. All the parents took photos of them, lined up, but he was worried about Connie not being there. He sent her a text asking her what her ETA was. After hitting send, Julianna, wearing a black and pink dress, came up to him. 

"Your suit is giving," she said. 

"Uh, thanks?" Steven said. 

They stood awkwardly, heads nodding a bit. Steven desperately wanted out of this conversation. He had no idea who this person was, and he certainly was not stuck in this simulation to be with someone who was not Connie. 

"Are you excited?" Julianna asked. 

"Um, yeah, it seems like it's going to be a good time." 

"What are you guys planning on doing after now that Matt is banned from the dance?" Julianna asked. 

"Oh, I didn't even think of that." 

But then Nate butted into the conversation and said that they were now all going to Braedon's, which made Steven's stomach spike with nausea. Braedon was supposedly the guy who could get all the illicit substances. 

"Then we're still on to meet you guys at the Buddy Park playground?" Julianna asked. 

Before Steven could answer, Nate said, "You know it, bro." 

Then they were shuffled into various cars to go to the dance. Apparently, Steven was going with Nate and a few other guys from their group in Nate's mom's car.

Still no response from Connie. Before getting into the car, he looked for his mother, who was talking to another group of parents, making them laugh. However, Pearl was nowhere in sight. He told Nate's mother he needed to get something inside and that he would be right back. 

He found Pearl in the kitchen doing dishes. Almost mechanically, she was washing and drying, humming to herself. She did this all the time at home, but his mother interacting with the other parents while Pearl did chores alone was off-putting. 

Pearl shut the faucet off. "Who knew water temperature varied this much?" Pearl said with a light chuckle like she was trying to make a joke. But the humor was undercut by Pearl staring at her human hand and all the feelings of the change in temperature that went along with it. 

"Why aren't you outside?" Steven asked. 

Pearl paused and then completed drying the dish. Turning toward him, she said, "Why would I want to talk to those human parents about children's soccer games and degenerative bone disease?" 

He shrugged. "I don't know. Isn't that what adults talk about?" 

"Maybe humans ones do," she said and then sighed. "Steven, you're going to miss your ride to the dance." 

"Yeah." He looked down and leaned on his heel. "Connie never came." 

"She didn't?" Pearl frowned and nodded. "Did you compose and send a text message to her?" 

"Yeah. She never answered." 

"Maybe she got delayed?" 

"Maybe." 

"Going with her was the only reason you wanted to come here." 

"Yeah." 

"I'm sorry." 

"It's okay. Figures. The Steven in this universe is kind of -- well not kind of-- is, he is a jerk." 

"A jerk?" 

"Oh, you wouldn't believe it, Pearl. Apparently, you're always at the school dealing with the shenanigans he gets up to." 

"Me?" 

"Yeah, Mom screens their calls." 

After a pause, with a nod, Pearl said, "She would do that." 

"Really?" 

"I used to always had to act as proxy at the Moon Base when the other Diamonds checked in through the Communication Hub and she didn't want to talk to them."

"She's jealous you're on a first name basis with the assistant principal." 

"She's jealous?" Pearl said it with a small grin, like she was shy about it, but then added, "Wait, what is an assistant principal?" 

"The person in charge of school discipline." 

Pearl nodded. "And you're always in their office?" 

"Yeah." 

She paused to think, hand on her chin, and then said, "Perhaps this human simulation of you is a jerk." 

"Hey!" 

"I'm just kidding," she said, smiling. "In all seriousness, maybe he just wants someone to listen to him about how he is feeling...but no one truly is...?"

"Yeah...maybe..." Was Pearl trying to tell him something? Why couldn't they both be more candid with each other? Well, there was the last 'order' his mother gave Pearl, which totally messed up the way they communicated. Being direct in a way that did not involve Pearl disciplining him was fewer and far between. Sometimes he wondered if she ever saw him as 'Steven' or just saw him as a Diamond. He didn't even want to be one. However, not being one could mean the devastation of the entire planet, and not just any planet; his planet. "Or maybe they have these expectations of him and he's afraid he can't live up to them?" 

"I'm sorry, Steven," Pearl said, tears filling her eyes. 

"And maybe a big part of his life is going to change, and he's afraid of that?" 

"Are you afraid of going into space without us?" Pearl asked. 

Before he could answer, his mother's voice sang from the other room, "Steven! Mrs. Kaplan needs to leave!" When she got to him and Pearl in the kitchen she paused, eyebrows knitted together wondering what was going on. "Everything okay?" 

"I'm just emotional about Steven's first formal dance," Pearl said, wiping under her eyes. 

Rose nodded and smiled, as her eyes reddened too. "Me too." Then she turned to Steven, "Bud, you better go." 

"Have a great time," Pearl said, nodding. 

His mother gave him one last quick hug, and then he left the house. Back on the lawn, just as he was about to get into Nate's mother's car, a dark teal van pulled up. Rushing out of the car, Connie, wearing a red dress, her hair in loose curls, ran up to Steven. 

"Sorry!" she said. "I-I...okay, it's a bit embarrassing, but I couldn't get my contacts in correctly. It was a whole thing. I never really wear them, and I was out of practice."

He simpered at her. She had makeup on, making her eyelashes long and delicate. On her eyelids was a dusty gold color. Blush made her cheeks a permanent shade of pink.  

"That's okay..." He could feel himself actually blushing. "You look...uh...really, uh, pretty." 

"Oh! Thanks," Connie said, looking away but smiling. "You look really nice in your suit." 

"Um, thanks..." Steven put his hands in his pockets and looked down at the ground before asking, "Ready to go?" 

"Wait!" Pearl said, now almost jogging from the house. "One more picture."  She directed him and Connie to stand next to each other and snapped a photo on her phone. Beaming at the phone screen, she said, "Perfect. Have fun!" and then waved them off. 

For the dance, William Dewey Middle School's gym was different than earlier that day. The lights were a bit darker. Strobe lights of various colors lit up the room. A DJ played dance remixes of top forty songs. 

Standing against the wall, Steven and Connie talked a bit about The Spirit Morph Saga, debating the thematic elements of the chapter from book one called "The Swordmaster's Path." 

"But the point ends up being that she can't be the protector of the realm all on her own," Steven said. 

"Why not?" Connie scoffed. "Are you saying she's not strong enough?" 

"I'm not saying she can't do it. It's just that it's a difficult job and she doesn't have to do it alone because she has people who love her and want to help her. It's extremely stressful!" 

Connie did not respond, but when Steven looked over at her, she was smiling at him. 

"What?" Steven asked. His face became warm, his palms sweaty, and he all he could think about was how pretty Connie's hair looked.  

"Nothing." She was still smiling. "I just never thought you would be, well, this passionate about something like this. It's really cool." 

"Oh, uh, thanks?" Before Steven could continue their conversation about The Spirit Morph Saga, a slow song came on. The lights lowered, and he cleared his throat before nervously asking Connie if she wanted to dance with him. 

He had danced with Connie on countless occasions. Usually, it ended up with them fusing into Stevonnie. But here in this world, they obviously could not. Instead of their carefree, giggly selves, they were both stiff. Steven worried about where to put his hand. How close should they be? Why was this so anxiety inducing? Should he be looking directly into her eyes or would that be too awkward? How much eye contact was normal in this situation? Why didn't he ask his dad for help before this whole thing? Oh, yeah, he was in Illinois...what a dumb universe. 

Connie was warm and she smelled like vanilla and salted caramel. Somehow that made it even more awkward. Why did she have to smell so good? 

The song ended and they separated. Steven tried to find something to say. Grabbed the back of his neck as he contemplated what to say after. A "Thank you," was all he could muster before Nate tapped him on the shoulder. 

"Bro!" Nate said. "Matt is here in the parking lot, and he says he's going to kick your ass when this whole thing is over! Says, you're cooked." 

"What? Didn't he get grounded?" Steven asked. 

"You know his mom doesn't believe in groundings," Nate said. "Are you gonna go out there and face him?" 

"Whatever," Steven said, waving his hand. "He can wait for the next few hours." An electronic dance music song started to play. He gestured his hand to Connie, indicating that he wanted to dance with her. When her hand settled into his, he pulled her into a spin. Impressed with his smooth move, the shaky uneasiness he had felt before dissipated. 

Now, dancing with Connie, was almost like it was in the real universe. They giggled and held hands as they spun around together like when the first time they fused. Steven thought about how different it is when that's not possible. He liked Connie, even this Connie, but something felt off here. They didn't have the same shared history. He thought about if Lisa would have married Archimicarus if they hadn't been through everything together. 

The wedding at the end was a tragedy. 

After all he had been through with Connie, being there with a Connie who did not share these experiences with him only made him lonelier. Only made him feel like he was too mature for this...like it was silly. 

But he was there to have fun, so he stopped trying to have a transformative experience and started to pretend like Pearl told him to. He and Connie danced the whole time to the point where Steven forgot about Matt waiting for him in the parking lot. 

At the end of the dance, outside the front of the school while they wait for their rides, Connie kissed him on the cheek and said, "You're not a jerk, Steven. You might act like one, but you aren't truly one, deep down. I wish you'd show everyone the side of you I got to know today." 

Steven decided he just wanted to go home now and see the Connie from his universe; the one he had a shared history. Because his Connie would know he's not a jerk to begin with. 

Instead of riding to Braedon's with everyone else, he decided to walk home. He was over this experience. Pretending was not the same as the real thing. It was only five miles. 

In the parking lot, as he anticipated, Matt, now wearing a nasal splint, and some of his goon friends were waiting for him. 

"Look who it is," Matt said. "It's the mamas' boy. Get it? It's plural." 

Steven tried to walk by him, but Matt only purposely got into his way, body checking him aside with his shoulder. Matt's breath smelled like a strong malty alcoholic beverage. However, Steven knew how to withstand a hit as if it did not affect him at all (and it didn't), Steven walked by him, only for Matt to call him more names far worse and offensive than the first one. 

"Had to have your moms get you out of it? Blame it all on me?" Matt said. 

"I'm not going to fight you," Steven said and started walking away from him. But, he turned around to say, "Aren't we supposed to be best friends?" 

Matt began to laugh, said to one of his goons, "Best friends? Bro, he thinks we're best friends!" Then he howled into an uncontrollable laugh.  

"Why is this funny?" Steven asked. 

"You fucking asshole, you knew I liked Julianna!" Matt said. 

"I don't even like her!" Steven said. "Ask anyone. I didn't even talk to her for the entire dance." 

One of Matt's friends muttered, "Cause she was in the bathroom crying over you the whole time."

Why was it that even when Steven tried to be "good," he always upset someone?  It was like he couldn't do anything that would make everyone happy. 

Pearl was right, he also missed "The simplicity of it all.'" 

Because even if his life was "normal" and he wasn't about to go to space, he would feel like his whole world was collapsing from underneath him. Maybe this was just what being fourteen felt like? Like nothing was easy and everything was the end of the world? (Except for him it was the literal end of the world).  

"You didn't even appreciate her!" Matt, obviously drunk, was slurring his words.

When Matt charged at him, Steven easily dodged him by stepping to his left. 

"Stop being a fucking beta," Matt said as he steadied his balance and turned around to face Steven again. 

"I'm not going to fight you," Steven said, only for Matt to go for him again. This time stopping right in front of Steven to try and punch him in the face. Steven ducked, successfully avoiding him. "You can't beat me!" 

Where had he heard that before? 

However, he had no time to contemplate that memory because Matt was swinging at him, frantic, like one of the punches had to land. A large group of guys had formed around him, amazed at Steven still evading Matt's punches. From the crowd, Steven heard someone call him "John Wick," whoever that was...

In a last ditch attempt, Matt tried to kick him, but Steven just caught Matt's foot and held it. The crowd around him started to cheer and call him "badass" or "alpha" or "Chad." Even though he had no idea who Chad was, he did know he could literally break Matt's ankle now, but he thought about what this universe's Pearl had said earlier that day where she emphasized, Rose, he broke Matt's nose. 

All Steven had to do was quickly turn Matt's foot clockwise to break his ankle. But he knew Pearl would lose it if that happened. And, giving Matt a shiner to match his own would be against everything he stood for since it wouldn't be a punch in self-defense. He was above this childish violence. And, it was wrong to end another's existence...and, yes he knew this was merely a black eye and not Matt's demise, but if he put his real universe's stakes into this one's, it would equate to this showdown right now. 

He let go of Matt, who fell flat on the ground and said, "Fuck!" 

The crowd around them chanted for Steven to "Hit him!" Instead, Steven looked down at a drunk Matt on the ground. He thought about offering a hand to help him up, but knew it would probably be a bad idea. 

The only way to get out of this was to run. He bolted, pushing his way through the crowd, and sprinted down the street until he was certain Matt couldn't catch up with him. 

As he walked down the dark streets of Beach City, he thought about space and being alone, well not truly alone, he would have a group with him, but not his Gems. Not the Crystal Gems. He looked up at the sky, at the darkness and the bright dots. So many bright dots. Each one might even have its own solar system. How many worlds had the Diamonds destroyed and how many did he have to go and save in addition to Earth? 

The house was dark when he got home. The front door was locked and so was the back door. Why was that? It wasn't like Beach City was dangerous. He checked his wallet to see if he had a key and realized he didn't. 

Figuring Pearl was awake, he knocked on the door. Light by light, each room in the house illuminated until the kitchen glowed a faint yellow. When the door opened, his mother, wearing a robe and her pink hair up in a messy bun, said, "Steven, what are you doing here?" 

"Oh, I didn't feel like sleeping over Braedon's. Apparently, he's kind of annoying." 

"Yeah. But the dance ended over an hour ago." She looked outside, up and down the street. "Did you get ice cream after or something?" 

"No. Came straight here." There was no way he could tell her about the fight with Matt. 

"...How? Who drove you?" 

"No one." 

"Then how did you get here?" 

"Oh, I walked," Steven said, casually like he did this all the time. (Because he did). 

"You WALKED?" Rose said, almost yelling. "Get inside now!" She stepped aside, gently pulled him toward her by his shoulder and pointed inside the house. 

Head down, Steven walked inside. 

Moments later in the kitchen, Rose closed the door and said, raising her voice, "What on Earth were you thinking?"

Steven shrugged. "I didn't want to go to the sleepover, so I came home." 

"You walked five miles in the dark, alone, on roads that don't even have sidewalks?!" Rose paced back and forth, shaking her head. "It's so dangerous!" 

"Dangerous? How?" Steven asked, genuinely confused how this was dangerous. 

"You could have gotten hit by a car or a wild animal could have been in the woods or someone, God forbid, someone could have grabbed you!" 

"Grabbed me? What do you mean?" 

"You don't know who could have been out late at night like that!" She shook her head. Eyes reddened like she was going to burst into tears. "Go upstairs to your room! We'll talk about this tomorrow." 

"But, Mom, it wasn't a big deal," Steven said.

However, this just made his mother start sobbing. "Please go upstairs," she said. 

"Okay," Steven said, small and meek like he had no idea what he did wrong. 

As he made his way to the living room, Pearl was descending the stairs. "What's going on?" she asked, standing on the landing.  She wore a T-shirt that was way too big for her because it was probably his mother's and a pair of pajama shorts. 

"Steven walked home from the school!" Rose said. 

"O-kay," Pearl said slow like she was trying to understand why this was a problem. 

They both watched Rose clean up two stem glasses and an empty bottle of wine from the coffee table. 

"That's all you have to say?" Rose asked Pearl. 

"Should I have something to say?" Pearl asked, genuinely confused. 

"'Should I have something to say'? Are you kidding me?" Rose asked through tears. "That's it from the person who wanted to sew AirTags into the tongues of all his sneakers?!" 

"An air tag?" Pearl asked Steven with a whisper.

"A tracking device."

"Oh!" Pearl said, nodding. "That would be actually be useful if your phone died." 

"I thought you were being overprotective!" Rose said. "But, as usual, you were right!" 

Louder, to Rose, Pearl asked, "Do we tend to lose him a lot?" 

"What is wrong with you?!" Rose said, almost yelling as she held an empty wine glass by the stem and pointed it toward Pearl. Then she went into the kitchen.

Pearl sighed and then turned to Steven. "I believe her heightened emotions coincide with her her blood alcohol content, which is well over the legal limit."  

"Did you have any?" Steven asked. 

Pearl smiled. "I did actually. It was...interesting. A very enjoyable 2017 California cabernet with pronounced aromas of dark cherry, layered with subtle hints of blackcurrant, cedar, and a touch of graphite. The dark cherry core was lush, expressive, which lent to a juicy yet refined fruit profile. Firm tannins, and a thread of acidity to--" 

"Did you like memorize a wine tasting book?" Steven asked. 

Tilting her head, Pearl said, "No..." Her forehead crinkled. Hand held her chin in deep reflection. "I'm not sure how I know that. I don't even know what cherries taste like." After summoning the wrist device, Pearl looked at the holographic screen and began pressing on it, like she was changing settings, only to reveal lines of Gem Glyph she began to scroll through. "Hmmm," she said. 

From the kitchen, they heard the banging of the cabinets like his mother was emptying the dishwasher and putting the plates away. 

"She sounds mad," Steven said. 

"Well, she believed your life was in danger," Pearl said as she scrolled through the code.  

"It was only five miles," Steven said. 

"Yes, but you don't have your abilities in this universe, as demonstrated by that black eye you can't heal with your tears." She tilted her head at the holographic screen display. 

"But even when you guys didn't know if I would get abilities, you didn't think I was going to die from walking." 

"Well, that's simply not true," Pearl said, nodding at the light display before shutting the wrist device off and focusing on Steven. 

"What! I was free range," Steven said. 

"On the beach and boardwalk. During the day. And, Garnet has future vision. We'd also make Amethyst shapeshift into an owl and fly around to check in on you." Pearl sighed. "And, I used to watch you sleep at night because I was afraid you would stop breathing, even though Garnet said you'd be fine." 

"You thought I would stop breathing?" 

"It can happen," Pearl said before cringing at the sound of pots and pans being shoved into the cabinet. "I should probably talk to her." 

"Maybe I can apologize?" 

"Probably best saved for tomorrow when the alcohol has mostly left her bloodstream." 

"But my time ends at like seven." 

"I guess you're just going to have to get up early." Pearl paused like she was listening to Rose banging pots and slamming cabinets closed as she most likely unloaded the dishwasher and put stuff away. "Steven, do you remember the score of your lacrosse game last weekend?" 

"18-13. I got a hat trick," Steven said without thinking at all. "Wait...how did I--" 

"Our memories are integrating," Pearl said. "It's probably why I know what cherries taste like." 

"I did have a weird flash memory today." 

"That's probably why Peridot put a timer on how long you should be in here." Pearl shrugged. "You're going home in the morning anyway." 

"What do you mean 'you are'?" Steven asked. 

"Oh, I'm going to stay a bit longer," Pearl said. 

"How much longer?" Steven asked slowly. 

"Not that much," Pearl said. 

"That's very vague." 

"Steven, there's nothing to wor--" 

Rose, still obviously upset, marched out of the kitchen. Out of the corner of her eye, she looked over at Pearl and Steven standing on the landing. 

Whispering, Pearl said, "You should get some sleep. I'll talk to her." Pearl gestured for him to continue upstairs with her head, and then went down the rest of the stairs to talk to Rose. 

Steven waited at the top of the stairs to listen, their voices a bit muffled as usual. 

"I don't need help, Pearl," Rose said. 

"Okay," Pearl said. 

"Why are you just standing there?" 

"I want to see if you are okay." 

"Do I look okay?" 

"No. You don't. That's why I want to help."

After a silent pause, he heard whimpering sounds and assumed his mother was crying.

Pearl continued to say, "I talked to him and he now understands what he did is dangerous." 

"Great, glad you convinced him," Rose said with sarcasm. 

"Did I do something wrong?" Pearl asked. 

Silence again.

With a strained voice, like she had erupted into tears, his mother said, "I'm so bad at this!" 

"At this?" Pearl asked. 

"Being a mother," Rose said. "Why are you so much better at it than me?" 

"Sometimes I think he hates me," Pearl said. "Like I'm a constant thorn in his side making his day worse. A constant pain reminding him of his failures. But it's not because I want to be critical. It's just I want him to be better than..." 

"Than me?" Rose asked, finishing the sentence. 

"Not just you. All of us." 

And, then Steven deeply regretted breaking Matt's nose at lunch that day, even though he deserved it. 

In his room, Steven stared at the ceiling, thinking about how he needed to take learning Gem Glyph more seriously; how he, like the Steven in this universe, also made Pearl believe he hated her sometimes. 

Chapter Text

The next morning, Steven woke up early, starting at the ceiling as he counted the minutes he had left in this hellscape alternate universe. If Pearl had not mentioned staying longer than him last night, then he would have asked her how to get back early. 

Pearl surely wouldn't stay here, right? 

A a sweet, cake smell permeated throughout the house. Steven went into the kitchen to find out if someone was making pancakes or waffles. 

When he entered the kitchen, he had forgotten how it looked like it came out of a home design magazine; sage cabinets, white marble countertops, and a rustic oak hardwood floor. 

Still wearing her pajamas from last night, Pearl stirred what looked like pancake batter in a bowl. She didn't wear any shoes, bare feet on the floor. Her toenails were painted pink.

Steven still had not gotten used to seeing Pearl as a human, especially now that he knew Gem Pearl was in there. It was off putting to see her in human clothing, especially since it was oversized. 

"Morning, Steven!" Pearl said, cheery as she poured a blob of batter onto a griddle. Flour dust settled onto her way-too-big navy blue shirt that said, Diamond Botanicals in pink with a compass shaped pink star.  

"Hey," he said. He wondered over to the cabinets, looked through to find a glass, and got some orange juice from the fridge. 

"Guess what?" Pearl asked. 

Steven yawed and asked, "What?" 

"I fell asleep for three hours! It was so restful. I mean, I've fallen asleep before, but it's never been been relaxing. Usually more anxiety inducing than anything, but this time it was...it didn't feel like three hours. It was like I lost time. Like getting poofed, but I didn't have to focus on reforming. I was so relaxed!"

"Yeah. That's what Amethyst says," Steven said. He sat at the table and lay his head down. 

Pearl served him a pancake, set down maple syrup on the table, and sat down next to him at the kitchen table. "Let's talk about how to frame this apology to your mother." 

"Okay." Steven's eyes were glazed over. He also only had three hours of sleep, but, apparently even as a human, Pearl was able to function as usual with the same minuscule hours. 

Pearl asked him to frame it like he wasn't thinking clearly, and he did not mean to upset his mother. "Just admit your were wrong. Don't try to frame a justification." 

"Matt tried to fight me again after the dance," Steven said. Why did he even say that? It wasn't like Pearl knew who Matt was. 

"Steven, Matt is a jerk who doesn't value an actual friendship. He just wants to use you for his own personal gains, and you should stop hanging out with him and find real friends who actually care about you and have similar interests." 

"Pearl?" 

"Yes?" 

"Why are we talking to each other like we're going to stay here?" 

Pearl let out a small, nervous laugh. Hands folded together.  "I've been thinking..." 

"About what?" 

Before Pearl could elaborate, his mother half-asleep and wearing a robe, entered the kitchen. Her pink hair sat on top of her head in a messy bun. She said good morning to Steven and stroked the curly hair on top of his head before kissing Pearl on the cheek. 

Pearl's hand lingered where Rose's hand had kissed her. She blushed; smiled like it was the best day of her life. At this point, it probably was, and that worried Steven. 

Rose served herself some pancakes and sat down with them. She said to Pearl, "Baby, thank you for making pancakes," and then leaned into Pearl, resting her head on Pearl's shoulder to bury her face into Pearl's neck. "I love you." 

As Pearl told Rose she loved her back and stroked her hair, Steven shot Pearl a look of irritation, to which Pearl mouthed, "Apologize." 

Steven mouthed back, "We need to go HOME," and pointed at his wrist.  

Pearl put one palm up to him. Nodded her head like she was telling him to Calm down or We'll get to that. She narrowed her eyebrows at Steven. Again, she mouthed, "Apologize. Now." 

"This is RIDICULOUS. This isn't REAL," Steven mouthed back. 

"It's as real as your black eye!" Pearl mouthed as she pointed to her eye, right before Rose turned her head away from Pearl's neck. 

"What are you two talking about?" Rose asked. 

"What? Nothing..." Pearl said, smiling apologetically like she wasn't used to lying. 

"I know you both do this when I'm not looking." Rose sighed. "Steven, are you failing another class in addition to math and English? Or did something happen at the dance?" 

"I don't know," Steven said, shrugging. 

"Not knowing if you're failing a class is one thing. But, you don't know what happened at the dance?" Rose asked. Her eyebrows arched like she did not believe him. "There has to be a reason you walked home and didn't go to the sleepover." 

He was just going to have to apologize. Before he began to speak, he looked at the oven clock and saw that it was 7:15a.m. He only had thirty minutes left. And, Pearl had no plans to go back with him.  

"Mom, I'm sorry I walked home. I wasn't thinking. But...but there is a reason why I didn't go to the sleepover. Matt was waiting for me in the parking lot to fight me, and..." 

Rose sat up, head off of Pearl's shoulder. "He was in the parking lot? Why didn't you text or call us for a ride home?" 

"My phone died." 

"Why didn't you go tell a chaperone?" 

"Mom, can I just explain?" Steven sighed. "He tried to fight me again. I just dodged his hits. When he tried to kick me, I grabbed his foot. Instead of breaking his ankle, I let go, he fell on the pavement, and I ran home. Sorry. I guess I panicked." 

This was a total lie. He was always going to walk home, but this was a terrific excuse. 

Why did this even matter? In less than ten minutes Peridot's retrieval code would kick in and he would be back home. 

"Instead of breaking his ankle?" Rose asked, slow, unsure, a bit scared. Her forehead wrinkled. 

"I mean, I could have easily done it," Steven said, shrugging. 

Rose looked over at Pearl with wide eyes.

As if she already knew what Rose meant, Pearl closed her eyes as she nodded.

When Rose's gaze met back with Steven's, she said, "Well, I'm glad you made a good choice. Just please don't walk home in the dark like that again. Call us instead." 

"Okay," Steven said. 

"What else happened at the dance?" she asked before taking a bite of her pancakes. 

Now this was what he came here for; a normal experience of telling his mother about his night. He described how he had fun with Connie, that they danced together and he forgot all about the problem with Matt. 

Rose smiled at him as he told her how Connie also liked the same book series he did. The whole time, she listened intently. Laughed at his jokes. Prompted him to wipe maple syrup off his face. 

As the time neared 7:45 a.m., Steven realized time was slipping away. In the middle of his mother pouring her second cup of coffee into a mug, he hugged her, tight, like she would be gone again. She was so warm, and she smelled like a bouquet.

She rubbed the back of his head and said, "Sweetheart, are you okay?" She put the coffee pot down on the counter and held him tight. 

He wished he could tell her everything; how she left him with this mess to clean up. That he was afraid to go into space without the Gems. How he was going to miss Dad. How he was afraid Connie would forget about him. Hot tears escaped from his eyes. 

"Steven?" she asked again. "Are you okay?" When he didn't answer, she said to Pearl, "Honey, can you get the thermometer?" She kissed the top of his head, and whispered, "Hey, it's going to be okay." 

Then the warmth of the hug faded, and when he opened his eyes, he was in the barn. Peridot's face invaded his view.

"How'd it go?" Peridot asked. 

"It was okay. The dance was fun, but the Steven in that universe is a huge jerk," Steven said. 

"I assumed you wanted to be popular. In Camp Pining Hearts everyone wants to be popular, so I found a universe where that is true for you." 

"You found a universe? I thought you said it was a code."

"I coded the program that found and accessed the universes. That's how a quantum computer works. Isn't that what you wanted?" 

"I thought you had to code the whole thing like with the Camp Pining Hearts stuff you do." 

"Well, yes, that is more complex, but why would I spend hours writing code when it already existed?" 

"Wait. That place is real?!" Steven asked. 

"Define 'real,'" Peridot said. 

"Like...you know."

"I don't." 

"It's...it's..it feels...I can't explain it. You know what?" Steven said. Sliced the air with his hands. "I don't have time for this. I have to go see Connie and then study Gem Glyph later." 

"You wasted a lot of time sleeping, didn't you?" Peridot yelled as he marched out of the barn. 

Steven met up with Connie on the beach, and she debriefed him on the dance.She ended up going alone, but hung out with a group of girls from her English class. They had a lot in common to the point where they asked her to an impromptu sleepover. 

"I'd never been asked to sleepover someone's house before!" Connie gushed as she sat in the sand and hugged her knees. "It was fun. Marnie let me borrow pajamas, and we watched like terrible comedy movies about cheerleaders and popular girls. Oh, and we also like ordered a ton of pizza. It was super fun!" 

"I'm glad it was a good time," Steven said, his gaze staring at the ground. "Did you, uh, do any dancing at the dance?" 

"Um, yeah. With Marnie and her friends. But that was it! And it wasn't nearly as fun as dancing with you." 

Were his cheeks red? He felt flushed. His eyes shifted up to her. She grinned at him and any doubts he ever had faded away. 

"Yeah. It's always fun dancing with you. It's always awesome to be Stevonnie with you, " Steven said. "I don't ever have as much fun with anyone else." 

"I feel the same." Connie blushed, hugged her knees even harder. Now she was looking down at the ground. "I wish I could have taken you," Connie said. 

"Yeah. Me too." 

They both stared out at the quiet ocean. The waves lapped to the shore and made the water crinkle. It was nice, and Steven knew it was real. 

Connie's hand reach out to him. He took it in his own, and they stayed like that for a while. 

When Steven got home that day, the beach house was empty. He grabbed Pearl's Gem Glyph translation book off the kitchen table and sauntered into his room to collapse on his bed; his real bed. He had to show Pearl he was serious about this. After all, she was just trying to make sure he was safe in space. It was perfectly understandable. 

However, as his eyes focused on the pictographs and what they apparently meant, his eyed drooped and sleepiness set in. 

For what Steven thought was the past week, he constantly attempted to study the Gem Glyph book with no luck. None of it made sense when he tried to translate it into any human language. Pearl had made it like a middle school foreign language textbook. In the middle of some pages, an illustration of Pearl's face and a speech bubble gave "tips," that apparently built on each other. Only issue was that he couldn't figure out the first animated Pearl tip. 

That week when Connie came over to visit, he showed the textbook to her.They sat next to each other on the living room couch. Close, but not close enough for their knees to touch. 

Connie spent several long minutes with her fingers flipping through the pages and her eyes darting back and forth. After mumbling something, she took out a notebook from her bag and began taking notes. 

On the "easy" first example sentence, Connie said, scratching her head with her pencil eraser, "I think this says, 'I want cheeseburger'?" 

"That makes no sense. There's no article. Pearl wouldn't write it like that, and she wouldn't write sentences about cheeseburgers." 

"Well, didn't she write it for you?" 

"I mean, I guess..." He shrugged his shoulders as he briefly flipped to the first page that said in Pearl's loopy, perfcet handwriting: For Steven. Love, Pearl. Feeling guilty, he went back to the page for the first beginner's lesson.  

"So, maybe she included fun sentences about cheeseburgers to keep you entertained? My Spanish teacher does the same thing." 

"Maybe," Steven said slowly. "Gems, except like Amethyst, don't really eat though, and it still doesn't explain cheeseburger lacking an article before it." 

"Does Gem Glyph have articles?" Connie asked. 

"Um...Wait, do some languages not have articles?" 

"Hindi doesn't. Also, Latin, Chinese, Russian. Most actually don't." 

About to pull his hair out, Steven said, "Crap! I don't know if Gem Glyph does or doesn't." 

Connie looked around the empty living room. "Why don't you ask Pearl?" 

"I can't"

"Why? Isn't she in her room?"

"No. She's uh, she's on some...thing...some mission. Yeah, that's it," Steven said, stumbling over his words. 

"Steven, I know you too well at this point. You're obviously lying. What's going on?" Connie crossed her arms. She tilted her head as if she was saying, I know you way too well to take that as an answer. 

"She's...It's a long story that involves a Gem quantum computer. She's fine. It's like this simulation thing, and she wants to stay there for the week. I guess it's like a vacation, and Pearl's never really had one before unless counting that time we went to Empire City with Dad, but that was more like a soul bearing trauma dump." 

"Like most of your vacations?" 

"Most of my vacations?" 

"The time Garnet split into Ruby and Sapphire, the time you and Amethyst went on that No Home Boys train adventure, Watermelon Island, like every space and Homeworld adventure you've been on...I'm sure there's probably more, but you've never had a relaxing trip in your whole life."

The fact that he knew going into space to dismantle the Diamond Colonies would also not even begin to enter the realm of relaxing made this worse. 

But, this was his Connie. She understood him like no one ever could. She was there for everything. She also subtly understood that Pearl happened to be at the core of all of those incidents, but he had never blamed Pearl solely as the reason for it. No, instead, he blamed his mother. He always did. He could blame the Diamonds, but everyone else already did that, and he knew his mother had a hand in what happened to Earth and the predicament he was in now. 

Why did he have to clean up her messes? 

"Wow..." Steven said in amazement. "Have I never been on an actual vacation? 

"I mean everyone who goes on vacation with family is going to have issues at some point. But, eventually, at least one vacation ends up being relaxing." 

"Leaving Beach City has never been relaxing for me." 

"Why do you think that is true?" 

The Gems had been through so much for thousands of years before he was even born. They never been allowed to know if was okay to be upset and feel emotions true to themselves. 

"Because it's home. And, home is safe." 

His father once told him that his mother said she never missed home, and Steven never stopped empathizing with the dread if it meant she had never felt relaxed or safe on Homeworld. 

However, he had never considered if Pearl had felt the same way; he knew she had wanted to go back to Homeworld even if she never explicitly stated it besides the time she attempted to take him into space. 

Why didn't he ever ask her? 

Connie didn't respond to that. Instead, she rifled through the pages of the Gem Glyph book again. Between her eyebrows knotted together. Lips curled into a slight smile as she said, "Gems don't eat." 

"Except Amethyst." 

"Well, yeah." Connie glanced up at him. Her hair fell over her face. She pushed it back. Brown eyes met with Steven's. "Because they don't eat, there's no Gem Glyph symbol for cheeseburger." 

"Then what does it say?" 

"Cheeseburger." 

Steven paused, confused. "I don't get it. How?" 

"Look at the Pearl animation on page 5." Connie pointed to animated Pearl and the the speech bubble that said, Gem Glyph uses a symbolic logographic writing system. "Pearl made up the symbol for it." 

"Why?" 

"For you." 

His stomach sunk into depths that were almost unrecoverable. Were his eyes watering? He said, "She thought it would make learning it more fun?" 

"I think so." Connie paused. Her hand slid over to his. Held it. "Steven, are you sure you and Pearl are okay?" 

"Define 'Okay.'"

"I don't know." 

"Then, I don't know if we've ever been okay." 

"That can't be true." 

He breathed in deep, inhaling, held it in, and then exhaled, hoping his feelings would leave with his breath. "I know she doesn't expect me to fix it...the stuff my mother did. However, it wasn't fair to her. But, she also still loves Mom. But... but..." He sighed. "I can't learn this on my own." 

"No," Connie said. "But why would you think you'd have to in the first place?" 

"I was pretty awful to her. I was a jerk." 

"You're not a jerk." 

"I have to learn it on my own to prove to her that I do care." 

"Okay, well that's just ridiculous," Connie said, standing up. "Let's go find her so you can apologize. You'll feel better and then she can help you." 

"You don't get it. I did apologize. It's that she's on vacation, basically. I want her to stop stressing about teaching me things so I don't die when I'm alone in space." 

"You think you might die while you're in space?" 

"I don't know! She seems to think it's possible!" 

"Didn't she also watch you sleep in case you stopped breathing until you were like ten?" Connie giggled as she said it. 

"Who told you that?" Steven asked. Forget space, he was about to die from embarrassment. 

Before Connie could respond, Garnet and Amethyst appeared on the warp pad. Amethyst cackled at something Garnet had said before they got there. 

"Oh, G, I love that joke. Somehow it just gets better and better each time," Amethyst said, hopping down off the rock platform and into the living room. 

"Garnet!" Steven said. He rushed over to her with the Gem Glyph book. "Can you help me understand if I translated this right and let me know if Gem Glyph has articles?" 

"Articles?" Garnet asked. 

"A, the, an...like the other ones I can't remember right now," Steven said. 

"It's a symbolic system that works more like functions than words," Garnet said. 

"Dude, even I knew that," Amethyst said. 

"So this doesn't say, I want cheeseburger?" Steven pointed to his translation on the page. 

Garnet took a look. Lifted her sunglasses up as Amethyst peeked over her shoulder. Garnet said, "No. It does." 

"Great!" He turned to the next page and asked, "Can you help me with the rest?"

"No."

"No?"

"It's not my job. That's Pearl's job."

"Job?"

"Yeah. Besides, I only know basic stuff. Pearl knows how to use for complex coding, which is what you need to know." She patted him on the head, and then left the living room for her own in the Temple.

"Dang it," Steven said, almost throwing the book across the room. 

"Why don't you just stay blissfully ignorant like me?" Amethyst walked into the kitchen, grabbed a bag of chips and sat on the counter. 

Connie glanced at her watch, and said, "Jeez. I'm going to be late for dinner. I better go. Steven, I'll text you later." 

After Steven and Amethyst said goodbye to Connie, Amethyst swallowed the entire bag of chips and belched. "Where is Pierogi anyway? G and I were looking for her." 

"I don't know" Steven said, sighing. Deniability was better than lying. Plus, it wasn't technically lying because he really only knew Pearl was in the simulation, but not where exactly she was in the simulation. She could be anywhere in there.  

"I haven't seen her in like...a while. Neither has Garnet," Amethyst glanced down at the ground. Lilac hair fell over her right eye. "Did she poof or something? She's spends a stupid amount of time on her form." Yelling out into the room, like Pearl's Gem was somewhere and she could actually hear her, Amethyst said, "Like, Pearl, you don't have to look all like Vogue fashion shoot quality. You're like already made gorgeous!" 

"She's not here," Steven said. 

"Where is she then? We tried looking everywhere. I even tracked her phone but it was in the barn and she wasn't there. And, she never loses stuff like that." 

"That's because she's in Peridot's Homeworld computer," Steven said. 

"Ugh, what-now?" Amethyst asked. 

"Peridot has this quantum computer that she coded to make Camp Pining Hearts fanfiction scenarios so she could self-insert herself into the story--"

"What the fuck..." was all Amethyst could utter before laughing. "Of course Perri would use Homeworld tech to create fanfiction she could live in!".

"Wait! There's more. Creating the fanfic also meant she could create or find or--I'm not sure how it works, but she has a copy of the universe but with a slightly different reality, so I asked to go into a human version of our universe, and Pearl had been looking for me to apologize, found me in the simulation, and then found out Mom is alive there." 

"What? Hold on, did you say Rose is alive in there?"

"Yeah, and in a human-only world version of ours," Steven said.

"Pearl hates -- no, actually," Amethyst said before putting on an impression of Pearl, "strongly dislikes humans."

"She drank wine and..." Steven made a sour face.

"Wait, alcohol? What? When did she get fun?" Amethyst couldn't stop giggling about the whole situation. 

"I don't know. Mom probably asked her to and she wants to be with Mom--simulation Mom so..." 

"Stars! She's hanging out with the fake Rose, too?" Amethyst asked. "Dude! No wonder she's feeling loose enough to try and drink!" 

"I don't want to think about it." Steven shook his head, and lay his head on top of his Gem Glyph book that rested on the table. 

Amethyst laughed as she held her stomach from cramping, and then a look of sudden stoicism overtook her face and ceased her laughter.  "Wait, how long has she been in there?" 

Steven's head rose up from the table. "I don't know. Like a week at least." 

"You can't be serious?" Amethyst said. "You're telling me that neither me or Garnet have tried to speak to or find P for like a week?" 

"Well, what have you been doing?" 

"Sleeping, wrestling, hanging out with some of the other amethysts, garage show with Greg, played cards with Vidalia, planned some human culture lessons about cards for the Homeworld refugee gems, reorganized some piles in my room...shit."  Amethyst sat down and held her forehead in her hands, elbows resting on the table.

For a second, Steven thought she was going to cry. 

"Remember when it was just the four of us?" Amethyst asked. 

"Yeah." 

"It was kinda nice." 

"Yeah, but that's how it always is when a family has a little kid. Your whole life revolves around them. When the kid grows up and gets their own life, well, you see each other less."

Amethyst sniffed in like she was trying not to cry. "Dude. When you're gone, will Pearl and I even have a reason to speak unless it's about video calling you in space?"  

"I don't know. I guess that's up to both of you." 

With a sigh, Amethyst sat up. Her hand ruffled her hair before she said, "Steven, we should really find out the exact day you went in there." 

After looking at a calendar on his phone, with wide eyes Steven said, "Oh no! It's been like two weeks, not one! And, and..." 

"And what, Steven?!" Both of her hands were on his shoulders. She shook him gently in panic. "And what?! Why did you say, 'Oh no!'?" 

"While we were in there, our memories and the versions of us in that universe's memories were like both becoming one brain!" Steven said. 

"Well then," Garnet said, standing in front of the Temple's door to their rooms, "we should probably go get her before she loses herself." 

"How'd you--" Steven began to ask. 

"Future vision," Garnet said. 

Why did he even ask?

They entered the new barn, and the smell of fresh wood filled the air. Seeing the bright, new wood was calming, especially since Steven had entered panic mode once he realized how long Pearl had been gone for. Peridot was at the computer while Lapis stayed outside to relaxed in a hammock. 

When they explained the situation to Peridot, she said, "What a clod! She came here looking for you, and I covered for you and said you weren't here. She said she tracked your phone to the barn. Then I told her to basically leave and check Homeworld." Peridot kicked a wood beam and then said, "She must have snuck back in here when she realized what the computer could do."

"Perri, what's the plan?" Amethyst asked.

"We can just make her come back." Peridot started to look through lines and lines of Gem Glyph on the holo-screen.

"What if she doesn't want to come back?" Garnet asked.  

Tilting her head, Peridot said with irritation, "What did Pearl do to my code?!" Furiously, she began to type. 

"What's wrong?" Steven asked. 

"Besides Pearl being a clod?" Peridot asked with sarcasm. "She jailbroke the permissions and now I can't force her to leave. Darn it. What other unauthorized modifications did she make?" 

As Peridot typed, Garnet, Amethyst, and Steven looked at each other with concern. Steven's eyes shifted over to Peridot. "So what do we do?" Steven asked. 

Seething, Peridot said, "We're going to have to go get her," through gritted teeth. "If I fix the code while she's in there, it could get dangerous for her." 

"Whaaaat? I don't want to be human!" Amethyst said. "The limitations of their bodies is like so fucking lame. No offense, Steven." 

"Dangerous how?" Steven asked. 

"She could end up being deleted," Peridot said. 

"Deleted?" Amethyst asked. "Like poof deleted?" 

"The code for her light," Garnet said. "It could get deleted."

"How do you know about this?" Amethyst asked. 

"I have a vague understanding of how the quantum physics of the computer works, and I can read Gem Glyph," Garnet said. 

"Why does everyone know how to do this but me?" Amethyst said, head dipping back as her arms went lax. 

"You never tried to learn," Garnet said. 

"You never tried to teach me!"Amethyst said. "You and Pearl only started to care when only when Steven needed to learn it because White Diamond could literally suck the light out of our gems and permanently poof us!" 

"Can we stop these arguments about regret and parenting mistakes and figure out how to fix this?" Peridot asked as she handed them all wrist devices.  "A few things before we go: since we will be human in this universe, we will be where our human counterparts are. We need a meeting place." 

"Pearl and my mom don't live at the beach house. I don't think it even exists. But I do know the address of the house in the simulation." 

"Party at human Pearl's house?" Amethyst asked. 

After Steven gave them the address, Peridot fitted the simulation devices on their arms. "Okay, plan is, we find Pearl. We tell her it's time to leave. We leave." 

"It's not going to be that easy," Garnet said.

"Why?" Peridot asked.

"Uh, the love of her life is in there. Alive," Amethyst said. 

"See! This is why I told her to get lost when she was looking for Steven earlier," Peridot said, throwing her arms up in defeat. 

"Can we all at least agree not to bombard her with telling her to immediately going home? Like ease her into it?" Steven asked. 

Amethyst sighed and said, "Fuck, we're not getting her out of there, are we?" 

"Let's just this over with," Peridot said before opening her wrist device so the holo-screen projected into the air. 

Steven took a deep breath as he braced himself for the situation Simulation Steven had gotten himself into. He hoped it was something simple like brushing his teeth. Instead, once Peridot activated the light and the warp pad, Steven found himself running on a grassy field. A helmet cage distorted his view. He had a lacrosse stick in his hands and was cradling the ball and making his way toward the net. Cheers from a crowd bellowed in the distance. However, Steven had no idea how to keep this momentum up. How did the movement work? He could feel the ball slipping from the net, but before he dropped it, out of nowhere, an opposing player body checked him to the ground. 

When he fell, his shoulder landed awkwardly, and he winced as he lay in the cool, itchy grass. His shoulder throbbed in pain, and his helmet had almost been knocked off.  The crowd yelled for him to get up until the referee blew his whistle. He had forgotten how real pain was for him in this simulation.