Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Time was a strange thing.

At one point, it had been moving at a snail’s pace, just dragging Caitlyn Kiramman along for one hell of a ride.

It particularly slowed when the hospital loomed before her in ominous shades of white and gray. Punctuated by the ingress and egress of the Piltovan crowds, time seemed to speed up as if trying to catch up to the hustle and bustle of every other person they passed.

“Caitlyn, is this really necessary?” Vi’s voice was a whisper, but it wasn’t the forced kind that held some furtive intent.

Besides, there wasn’t anything to hide with such a simple question.

Vi was struggling to speak. She was struggling to breathe. Her condition was also apparent in the way her voice shook as she spoke, and as she leaned deeper onto Caitlyn’s shoulder, her body stiff, heavier.

Alarmingly heavier.

But this wasn’t the first time she pulled Vi from danger.

And every single time before, Vi survived.

She had only ever needed a quick rest, and maybe that one time, she had needed a little shimmer.

But every single time, Vi did survive.

Besides, Jinx had mentioned it all the way back up to Piltover. Vi had gone through worse.

Apparently, she had spent months fighting in the featherweight division in some boxing pit. And she managed to survived that.

Vi can handle this. She’d make a 100% recovery like she did it every other time before.

But just in case. Caitlyn had made enough excuses, and she had built a robust enough case.

The bruise on Vi’s cheek was larger, a purple splotch clinging to the apple of her cheek. The wound on her stomach was still bleeding, despite Caitlyn and Jinx’s attempts at emergency first aid.

Another alarming indicator, Caitlyn hated to acknowledge was that Jinx was staying close to them, her hood pulled more tightly over her face.

That young girl, Isha, who stuck close to her the whole time, had just been killed by that beast just hours ago. At first, she had expected Jinx to disappear into the shadows, to lick her wounds then fight another day. But it didn’t look like Jinx had any intention to fight at all. Her face was lifeless stone under the shadow of her hood, her violet eyes only darting towards Vi’s figure every few minutes. She stuck to them the whole way, only pulling back and disappearing as the crowds drew nearer.

Vi noticed almost immediately. “She’s gone."

“It’ll be risky for her to walk through the crowds with us.”

“It’ll be risky…all of us… Let’s just go… your house…” Vi was starting to struggle with longer sentences. At the least, she was still coherent.

“Just in case.” Caitlyn whispered to Vi, as she dragged Vi into the emergency room of the hospital in Piltover. At this point, she was struggling against Vi’s weight, but she didn’t have to for long.

Vi’s pale face and her stomach wound which continued to bleed, despite hurried attempts to staunch it, were all signs enough.

Triage worked in mere seconds.

The nurses surrounded them. Vi’s eyes drooped, and her breathing slowed as the nurses lay her on the stretcher, sending a wave of panic through Caitlyn.

“Vi… Stay with us,” Caitlyn said, from behind the nurses, though she didn’t know if Vi could still hear her.

What are you scared of? She’ll be fine. She has always been fine. She was talking to you just a while ago.

Her eyes unfocused, Vi mouthed a name.

Powder.

“Excuse me….” Caitlyn moved from behind a nurse, and leaned forward on the stretcher, till her mouth was inches from VI’s ear. “She’s outside. Didn't wanna go in. Besides, we’ll get things done faster this way.” She propped her hand over Vi’s tense one that had been gripping the railings of the stretcher the past few seconds.

Caitlyn traced circles around Vi’s thumb as the nurses inspected the wound. Back when she was a child, Caitlyn’s mother had done the same for her. She said, it helped people relax.

After a few rounds, Vi’s one hand fell back down to the thin mattress of the bed with a thud. Vi must have been tired, so tired. When was the last time she had had that long of a rest to have passed out so quickly even amidst the haze of white lights and antiseptic, and foot traffic on all different directions.

Caitlyn couldn’t be so sure, but just in case, she studied Vi’s face, as if the dark circles under her eyes could have served as some accurate indicator to how much rest Vi was even getting. Admittedly, she couldn’t even tell where dirt ended and the bruises started, then where the bruises ended and the exhaustion lines started.

Vi’s face was a product of days— hell, even months, of constant fighting.

“We’re going to wheel her in now.”

And just as the nurses secured the stretcher, Caitlyn pulled one tendril of hair that had fallen over her face, and tucked it behind Vi’s ear.

“We’ll see you in a bit. Just focus on getting some shuteye.” Caitlyn wasn’t so sure anymore if Vi had heard it, but having said her goodbyes, she didn't have much else to do but wait. She walked towards the side of the emergency room and plopped herself on an empty bench in the emptiest section of the room.

You’ll get a lot of rest when we’re out of here. Maybe tonight.

It’s a quick visit anyway.

She had mentioned those things on the way up to Piltover, a rehearsed response to any protest from Vi.

You’ll be in and out. They’ll just patch you up. Change the bandages. Disinfect the wound… I know you’ve done it yourself before… but just in case—

Eventually, the nurses would call her into one of their private rooms— as she had requested. Then she should find Vi lying irritably on the bed, with some IV hooked to her, begging to be let out.

They could stay in her house for sure. Caitlyn had already made arrangements.

She had called the servants at the next downtime to prepare an extra set of pillows for her bed. Maybe an extra bedroom for Jinx.

How deep was the wound? How long would it take to heal?

Could she change the bandages herself?

Surely she should be qualified enough to administer first aid. It had been part of her training as an enforcer.

Her father could always help.

She should ask the doctor. She made mental notes of just that as she twiddled her thumbs, scraped off dirt from underneath her finger nails, any combination of whatever would be an effective distraction.

Minutes later, a nurse approached her.

“Commander Kiramman.”

“Please— just Ms. Kiramman,” Caitlyn said. “How is she? I get that she’s settled?”

The nurse cleared her throat. “Miss— Kiramman.” She stuttered like Caitlyn’s name was a foreign language. “The doctor will see you now.”

Her ears were ringing. “What about Vi— the patient?” she asked.

“He’ll explain everything.”

At first glance, it didn’t seem strange at all. There were a hundred other explanations she could conjure for this. Maybe Vi was still asleep. Maybe they didn’t wanna wake her up.

Or maybe, they’d ask Vi to stay the night for monitoring. The wound wasn’t shallow either.

Vi is gonna kill her. She thought to herself, as she followed the nurse through the double doors deeper into the emergency room, and then into a smaller corridor of doctor’s offices.

Just in case. Caitlyn whispered to herself again. She had many reasons to take VI to the hospital, most of them, she could so eloquently back up if given the chance.

But it didn’t matter. She won. Dragging Vi to the hospital had been the best move.

But god, she wished she hadn’t been right.

Vi was supposed to be unbreakable. She had had fists to her face, a much deeper stab to her side. She had taken bullets coming from all directions, hell even the butt of her rifle to her stomach— Caitlyn shook as she thought it— and Vi had always come out of all of it in one piece.

But the picture of the wound as displayed by the doctor had attested to the complete opposite.

“...she made it out alive, but just barely.” The doctor was louder in the empty room. In fact, it was booming as it echoed from one end of the room to another, it almost put to shame the click clack of heels and the midnight bustle of the emergency room.

“But the important thing is she’s out of the woods…” Caitlyn added.

The doctor bit his lip and looked away, like he was at a loss for words. “We’ve patched up the wounds, stopped the bleeding, but I want to keep her here, just until we can get to the root of the problem”

“Problem?”

“We need to get her stabilized,” the doctor clarified.

Stabilized.

Vi had been fine every other time before. Vi had been stable every other time before. This shouldn’t have been any different.

“How long— if only until overnight, I’m sure I could just talk to her. Vi would hate to stay here. If you could let me see her—”

“Not yet. We need to get some tests done.”

“She won’t be comfortable—”

“And we’ll likely need to open her up—”

Caitlyn furrowed her brows. “Open her up —- If it’s this invasive, I’ll need to—”

“I told you, they’re already prepping her. There’s no time.”

“If you could just let me explain it to her—”

“That’s not possible. If you want to save her life, we need to act now.”

They called Vi ‘lucky,’ and Caitlyn hated to see that word so rashly associated with ‘barely alive.’

If she hadn’t been slashed by the stomach… If she hadn’t been rushed to the hospital and opened up, they wouldn’t have noticed the state of her organs.

The bruising

The unnatural enlargement of her spleen.

Untreated internal bleeding.

It turned out, there was an imperceptible gap between “barely alive” and “out of the woods,” imperceptible yet so wide that Caitlyn felt stupid for not having seen it almost immediately.

She let the doctor continue.

No, it felt like she had no other choice.

“Ms. Kiramman. If we could let you see her, we would,” the doctor said. “But this is time sensitive. The doctors will run the tests quickly, and we can take her in for emergency surgery. I’ll give you the results as soon as I have them.”

“How long?”

“A conservative estimate as at least a few hours. But believe me. We’re doing our best.”

She exited the hospital through the courtyard, and her first thought had been to locate Jinx.

A problem which seemed to solve itself, as Jinx had settled herself on one of the benches at the emptier side of the courtyard, a black beanie over her blue hair. If it hadn’t been for her purple eyes and her pale face, maybe Caitlyn would have struggled to recognize her from a distance.

“Where did you even get that?” Caitlyn couldn’t even imagine how she had fit her long braids into it.

“Some patient dropped it on the way out.”

“So you stole it?”

“Thought I’d need it more than him, especially if you plan on dragging us through Piltover.” Jinx adjusted the beanie again.

A stolen beanie was the least of her problems. “The wound was deep,” Caitlyn said as she sat on the bench next to Jinx, leaving a few inches of space between them. “She needed medical attention.”

“She’s dealt with worse in Zaun.”

“It’s due diligence,” Caitlyn said. “Besides, the wound didn’t stop bleeding… and she was lethargic. You saw her. You helped me change the bandages.”

“This could get us killed.”

“No it won’t. Not on my watch. I’m still the commander. Ambessa is still an outsider.”

So what’s our next stop then, commander? Stillwater?” Jinx didn’t have that same lilt to her voice anymore. It had taken a little more effort than usual to detect the waning sarcasm in her voice.

Having fought armies in a burning village less than a day ago, they were both as exhausted. On top of it all, Jinx was grieving. It wasn't apparent almost a day later, but the tear stains remained. Her eyes were still swollen, and her voice was as close to lifeless as a human voice could be.

“If I were to be honest, sending you to Stillwater is the last thing on my mind right now,” Caitlyn admitted.

“Of course you wouldn’t throw your girlfriend in there.”

“And I wouldn’t throw you in either,” Caitlyn said, her eyes downcast.

“That’s some development, ” Jinx said. "But you know, you don't have to avoid throwing me in Stillwater just because my sister asked you not to. Rotting in jail doesn't seem like that bad of a fate, now that I think about it."

And Caitlyn couldn’t bring herself to meet Jinx’s eyes, nor could she bring herself to comment on anything else. She was still figuring out for herself how to break the news. “They asked about Vi’s immediate family," she started.

“The hospital?”

Caitlyn nodded. “I felt almost stupid lying about a name, mentioning a sister called Powder. I didn’t mention your father because after what happened—”

“You didn’t have to. She’ll be out of there soon.”

She won’t. That’s why I’m sitting out here in the cold.

Caitlyn rubbed her hands together, then held her hands over each arm. She wanted to go back inside. Meanwhile, Jinx seemed to be handling the autumn chill better than she was, leaning back on the cured wood of the bench that was always either too cold or too hot.

“Let’s go inside?” Caitlyn said.

Jinx looked away, seeming almost hesitant. “I’ll wait out here.”

“You’ll draw less attention to yourself in a crowded building than out here.”

“Really? I thought the hat helped,” Jinx said. “It hides the braids at least.

“It doesn’t. I spotted you from a mile away,” Caitlyn said.

“Really?”

“Really.”

If Jinx saw through the lie, she didn’t admit it. Or maybe she didn’t have the time to.

Time passed too quickly, yet too sporadically when they entered. They could have been waiting by that same bench for an hour or maybe only a few minutes. Then, they were ushered into a room— a hospital room, the nurses’ soon clarified.

Vi’s hospital room. The head nurse clarified.

In the silence, with nothing much else to do, She could only ponder at how unexpected it had been for both of them to be crammed in some white box for more than hour, while not fighting at all.

In fact, they were both silent and unmoving, waiting on the same news.

And she had never expected that somehow, their minds would meet, at least to what would be the only acceptable outcome to all this.

Jinx started to play with the hextech gem, rolling it between her fingers, then catching it at the palm of her hand.

“This isn’t the time or place for that,” Caitlyn kept her voice neutral, careful not to antagonize. Jinx could still kill if she threw the gem with the right force.

And that reminded her, they had never gotten their weapons back from the battle. Likely, her gun, Vi’s gloves, they had all become war trophies looted by the surviving Noxian soldiers. Still, that never evolved to more than a passing thought.

Jinx didn’t seem to care either. Her attention had been fixed on the hex gem, then when Caitlyn called it out, she shifted her attention elsewhere. She turned behind her, and pulled open the window curtain just above the couch of the wide view. And she had managed to occupy herself, by staring out the window or counting stars or admiring the moonlight.

Caitlyn didn’t know Jinx enough to be sure.

Caitlyn would have preferred to dwell in a vacuum, devoid of any sound or moonlight, but she didn’t think it worth the argument or the fight.

Neither of them was in the best mindspace.

The doctor coming into the room, explaining the situation to both of them hadn’t helped either.

In fact, it had made it worse.

More tests, then we’ll take her in for surgery.

Systemic shutdown…No improvement.

They spoke of invasive procedures, of contingencies and of hail marys.

Then they spoke of probabilities.

They didn’t say the word. They didn’t explicitly mention any worst case scenarios, but Caitlyn had seen herself how artful doctors could be at dodging that one word that could send their worlds crashing down almost instantly.

Only months back, when her mother died, she had received medico-legal reports. The doctors had chosen to dwell more on the gory details in their report. They ran through the details of her autopsy like the unsalvageable hematoma in her brain to the perforated organs and how the systemic shock had been the clincher

The harrowing fact that her mother had been so suddenly and so forcefully taken from her? Caitlyn had to deal with that herself. She had to piece everything herself as they led her into the morgue, gave her a few contacts at the mortician’s office, and gave her a date and time to pick up the death certificate.

“She’ll be fine, right?” Alone in the empty room, Jinx’s voice echoed, and it was grating.

Caitlyn scooched a few feet farther away from Jinx, until she was at the opposite end of the room. She wasn’t in the mood for this.

“They weren’t clear.. ” Jinx said. Her voice was irritating.

She continued to press. “I wasn’t raised here. I don’t know anything about medical jargon.”

Irritating quickly morphed into infuriating. This was the same person who had killed her mother, to have put her in this situation, in this same hospital all those months ago. “Go ask them yourself,” Caitlyn said. She’d had her experience just a few months ago. Caitlyn knew what they meant.

Besides, it was easier not to act. It was easier to just relish in that hint of almost strange satisfaction that came with seeing Jinx fidget nervously with the folds of her pants before she pulled herself up with one exhausted sigh, and ran out of the room in what Caitlyn sensed to pure desperation.

But Caitlyn was just as desperate, but she didn't have to admit that to Jinx.

The door slammed shut.

Caitlyn was alone.

Her lips trembled, and tears seemed to burst at their seams, spilling warm against her cheeks.

Jinx may have killed her mother, but wishing for Jinx the same in return wasn’t so simple. Watching a child die to the claws of the beast had been traumatizing to say the least. Witnessing Jinx at the aftermath, had been a different beast altogether. She didn't scream. She didn't wreak havoc. She fell catatonic, as she helped bandage an injured Vi. She had shown hints of concern as Vi's condition deteriorated, but none of what Caitlyn had witnessed had been the satisfaction or relief she had expected.

This wasn’t a matter of an eye for an eye or a tooth for a tooth.

Jinx’s loss would be her loss. Jinx’s regret would be hers too.

If Jinx hadn’t been the one outside, her voice a faint boom against the door, maybe Caitlyn would have been the one to go out and ask— beg for something a little more straightforward.

She was in a position to witness her mother’s killer break against the same excruciating experience that had permanently broken a part of her all those months ago, but she chose to remain still and listen to the faint booms from a door away. She chose wipe her eyes dry and sit still, then follow with her eyes as the pale figure reentered the room, defeated.

The most she could do to satisfy her own vendetta was to offer no words of consolation.

Jinx didn’t seem to care about consolation anyway. She hadn’t even mentioned that little girl's name since the incident. Any sign of how she actually felt manifested in her mechanical movements were as she forewent the comforts of a chair, and settled instead for the whatever comfort she had seemed to be getting from leaning back against the wall in some corner, and pulling her legs close to her for.

Back then, Caitlyn didn’t care much for the piles of consolation letters either. In her own mind at least, Caitlyn had done the same thing in the hospital, holding herself by the arms, building a world for just herself which she could hold against the real word. She tuned everything out as Tobias consolidated the documentation of her mother’s passing. When they finally arrived home, and in the privacy of her room, maybe Caitlyn had physically taken the same position for a few hours or so, before she was inevitably pulled back to an existence she didn’t even ask for.

She hated to say it, but she had wasted the past few minutes making an intelligent guess of how Jinx was feeling, and with it, she had unwillingly pulled out memories she would have preferred remained buried.

And inevitably, they birthed new sentiments as well.

This wasn’t just Jinx’s desperation. It was hers too. “Anything new?” Caitlyn asked.

“More tests then surgery.”

“About her chances.”

“They said they have to deal with the wound. Then she’s bleeding on the inside… That she was beaten up. Her organs are a mess…”

“The doctor told me the exact same thing.”

Silence.

“You shouldn't have taken her here,” Jinx mumbled.

“What do you mean?”

“Vi never liked hospitals. She used to hate it when mom took her to the clinic back when we were kids. She hated the needles, the medicines, being stuck in your bed all day.”

“If it were up to me, she’d be out by now,” Caitlyn said

“But it shouldn’t have to come to this. She was fine. She has always bounced back."

“We don’t have shimmer anymore, do we? Or that magic healer?”

Jinx’s voice was softer, a crack in the silence. “But we don’t need any of that. Vi has always survived the worst, right?”

The curtains were still open from a while ago. The moonlight was still spilling into the room, and Jinx turned to her, her violet eyes wide. Maybe she was desperate, or maybe she believed wholeheartedly in what she’d be rambling on the past few minutes. “This is nothing. She’ll be fine. She’s always promised me she’ll be fine.

For the first time, Caitlyn could make out the “Powder” Vi had told her about so many times before. This was Vi’s little sister. She had just lost her father, then her little sister, and if everything else went wrong, If Vi d—- No, Caitlyn wasn’t going to let herself entertain such a thought.

On the floor, her legs pressed to her chest, Jinx seemed smaller. Caitlyn would even go so far as to say Jinx had shrunk back into that little girl Vi had gone on and on about protecting.

“Hey, the doctor said we’ll know in a few hours,” Caitlyn said, as if it could have been any consolation.

'A few' hours couldn’t come any faster.

Chapter Text

Only a week after their mother died, Tobias hired a therapist

For both of them. He had mentioned when he had first brought it up in the living room, as they rummaged through piles of condolence letters.

But mostly for you, Caitlyn. He had clarified over one grim breakfast of meager oats. At that point, he had rescheduled his own sessions twice.

At first, Caitlyn was hesitant. No, she had been straight up against it, even arguing how much of a waste of time it would be when there were so many other legal processes to deal with post-her mother’s death.

He had justified it by spewing some almost unintelligible lull about how if she was going to take after her mother.

You’re in a position now where one move can affect the lives of hundreds of thousands of people.

If you’re gonna run a country, I want you to make decisions with a clear mind.

Don’t run the country with your own grief, Caitlyn.

She remembered how his voice had weakened to a whisper, as he lowered his eyes on his half-eaten oats. They had kept a respectful distance at the dining table, so she couldn’t be so sure of what he said, but he had mouthed it so clearly and so forcefully that Caitlyn could still picture it months later.

I don’t trust that Noxian warlord.

But Ambessa had lost someone too, right? She’d understand it more than anyone.

When you lose someone, you’re supposed to be sad and angry, right? Caitlyn had argued back then.

Her father didn’t reply, instead lowering his eyes onto his food, his hands sullenly and mechanically mixing the oats until they resembled slush more than oats.

Ambessa had lost a son too. She had told her about it the first time that they talked.

To Caitlyn, loss bore an amalgamation of emotions, and admittedly she had felt all of them bearing down on her like weights, but each emotion seemed to manifest strongly at the most arbitrary catalysts or the slightest change of circumstances.

Wrath must be met with Wrath.

Anger—-wrath was a spirit which seemed to possess every time she donned her enforcer outfit and cocked her gun. It was a spirit channeled towards the undercity folk. After all, they needed to be put in their place.

Caitlyn, you’ll come out for dinner right?

Sadness— desolation was a spirit that reared its ugly head as twilight, before plopping its ass on her chest as she lay motionless on her bed.

Some days, she had even allowed that spirit to carry on with its agenda long after morning had gone, and by evening, she would learn that she hadn’t left the room in almost a day, nor had she eaten.

Strangely, she was never hungry.

A few sessions in, she opened up to the therapist about the incident in the vents, the raw emotion she couldn’t seem to put a name to, channeling whatever energy she had left into hitting the butt of her rifle right where she knew it would hurt.

Anger.

Raw Anger.

And when anger morphed into shame, her therapist had at least attempted to placate whatever conflict had been boiling inside her.

Anger isn’t wrong.

Eventually, her therapist had taken all the emotions Caitlyn could articulate like they were her own. As if she had some control of the recesses of Caitlyn’s mind, she had laid them out in some convenient order, where the pattern was easier to see, when it was harder to deny.

However, by the time the therapist laid everything out, by the time Caitlyn had learned to grapple with the knotted complexities of grief and loss, it had been too late.

If we don’t take control of it, it can push us to do things we regret.

By the time the therapist had pointed it out, she was already three months into therapy.

And by then, Vi was long gone.

Denial

The first thing most people will experience is denial.

Why did her mind wander to those long sessions while the doctor spoke? She was supposed to be listening.

Denial was inefficient.

It had been an inconvenient bug that had made comprehension unattainable for that brief moment it existed.

10% chance.

We’re operating in stages.

But just in case, we need her immediate family to sign off—-

But denial had been a comfortable sanctuary to run to.

The doctor had been economical with his words. Sure, he had avoided certain words, but he was clear.

“On organ donation?” Caitlyn asked. Or maybe she heard it wrong. She hoped she did.

The doctor cleared his throat. “Or at least what we can salvage...”

“She’s still using them,” Caitlyn said firmly. She would have rather the doctor didn't continue.

“Yes, but if it happens, we will only have a small window…” When the doctor mentioned ‘immediate family,’ they soon had to suspend the meeting, and Caitlyn found herself having to drag Jinx back into their private room herself, and maybe she had only come out unscathed because Jinx was tired.

Jinx couldn’t fight anymore, nor didn’t seem like she wanted to. Once again, Jinx was back in her little corner, chin over her knees. She was lifeless stone, unmoving on the linoleum. That was, until she spoke again. “Hey, If Viktor’s still out there, maybe—”

“They’re asking just in case. It doesn’t mean she’s dying. It’s just part of the process.”

No it wasn’t. Who was she kidding?

“I’m not signing off on anything. Tell them I’m not it. Whatever this immediate family is…—-I’m not it.”

“You’re gonna tell them Vi’s not your sister?”

“If Vi doesn’t make it out of this alive…. If she’s gonna leave me again, then she’s not my sister.”

The doctors still wouldn’t let them see Vi, yet they weren’t hesitant at all to call them back into the office and repeat what Caitlyn had already echoed in her mind a thousand times before.

Bruising… all over her chest and stomach cavity."

Her body is under a lot of stress.

To keep her stable, they kept her asleep.

To prevent infection, they kept her isolated.

Yet, they still had the gall to Jinx and Caitlyn into the office with no promises of when they could see her.

To add insult to injury, they brought up a very inconvenient question

"This might come as useful when deciding where to narrow down our tests… would you know what she had been up to before you brought her here?”

Neither Caitlyn nor Jinx could answer immediately.

Jinx didn’t have a confident answer. Caitlyn didn’t have one either, but they had exchanged expectant looks.

"Excuse me... but..." Caitlyn was biting back shock.

"Before we open her up again, we wanna know the nature of the injuries. It can narrow down the tests then the treatment options but..."

“I just ran into her at the camp but before that, you were the one accompanying her, right?” Caitlyn turned to Jinx, keeping her face serious. If she gave it free reign, the desperation, the distress might just leak out.

Jinx couldn’t even make eye contact with the doctor. A doctor’s office in Piltover while subject to an unnerving line of questions wasn’t at all her natural habitat. If Caitlyn hadn’t plopped one hand on the edge of Jinx’s seat, gripping hard, maybe Jinx would have pushed the chair back and stormed out of the room.

Surprisingly, Jinx didn't avoid the interrogation and she willingly volunteered the information. “She was a pit fighter in the Undercity, or that’s at least what I got, when I visited her,” she said. “But how she got there...." Her gaze shifted expectantly towards Caitlyn again.

The doctor had bought her some time at least. “This could explain the bruising and the sensitivity in her abdomen. It’s textbook abdominal trauma…”

“So you have your answer. Unless you need something else from us?” Caitlyn sensed that they needed something else, and suddenly with all eyes on her, she was starting to feel more like a criminal under custodial investigation than a concerned companion.

The doctor continued. "There's localized bruising in some of her organs but what got me curious was her spleen. It had been enlarged for a while before it ruptured…It could happen due to sickness, but with the other organs around the spleen unharmed, I can't help but imagine a force strong enough to injure a single organ... A blunt instrument, maybe…and if she was working in a boxing ring…”

“Anything can be the blunt instrument,” Caitlyn said. Especially in a boxing ring.

The doctor had been economical with his words, and he at least had found a more digestible way to explain it, something they could both understand when their brains were mush, their bodies heavy with exhaustion.

He continued. “But I can't help but theorize, that this could happened due to a slow accumulation of blood cells to a blunt force trauma against her side… Meaning this reaction could have been delayed. She could have had the rupture for months.”

Jinx hummed in thought. “She had only been fighting there for a little over a month.”

“With the nature of her injury, I’m imagining a blunt object… to her stomach. Right at her spleen? A stick…Or maybe the butt of a gun?”

Gun.

Caitlyn’s eyes shot up at Jinx almost instantly, only for her to see those same violet ones right on her.

Jinx turned back at the doctor. “Wow, my sister down— over one of those?” Jinx had let out a nervous chuckle. It had lasted mere seconds, but it was still a chuckle. Those same fucking sounds she had made as she had kidnapped her, threatened her with a gun to her face. “Growing up, she’d gone through a lot worse. There’s no way this is what’d kill her of all things. I don't believe it."

Denial

“Jinx, please, just—- please... just... Shut. Up." And if Caitlyn hadn't been in front of the doctor, if she hadn't stopped herself, maybe Caitlyn would have let her mouth run, and maybe she would have said worse things.

She immediately excused herself.

It was Jinx’s fault.

They had fought. Those months back. In the temple of Janna. Caitlyn hadn’t seen the whole fight, but one thing she was sure of in those few moments were she had gotten a glimpse: Jinx had been fighting to kill.

When they were alone in the room, Jinx spoke up again. “Wow, someone's got her panties in a bunch."

Fortunately, Caitlyn had had the time at least to calm herself. "I don't wanna hear it from someone who's clearly responsible."

Jinx furrowed her brows. "You really think I slammed the butt of my gun to her side? I haven't even seen her months."

"That fight. At the temple?"

"She destroyed my gun. I couldn’t lay a finger on her side

“You’re the one who wanted your sister dead.”

“I never said I wanted her dead!” Jinx said. “You’re the one who last saw her after what happened at the temple of Janna. When I looked for her and found her, she was alone in the Undercity. For what? Why? ”

“We—-” We had a falling out….She disappeared. Somehow, she couldn’t bring herself to even continue with what paltry excuse her brain had conjured.

After all, if she let her mouth, it ultimately meant she would be blaming Vi.

But was it really Vi’s fault?

You left her.

“Then why don’t we ask my sister what she remembers? Then, you can ask her where she got that ‘blunt force trauma?’

Because she’s not here.

She can’t answer anymore.

Jinx leaned back against the wall and slid back down to the floor. “Whatever it was. Vi probably wouldn't remember it anyway. If she starts fights every day in the Undercity, it could be anything…” She turned towards the window, and reached her hand out for the handle.

“What are you doing?

“I need some fresh air. We don’t get a lot of this back home.”

Jinx had been gentle with clicking the sliding door back into place, but still, it had been loud enough for Caitlyn to jump at the sound.

The silence was unnerving. She didn’t want to be alone, left with her own thoughts.

There was still no news on Vi.

She took a deep breath, lay back down on the sofa and stared up above. The starry sky was visible through the window from her peripherals, and a starry night was a reminder of the passage of time.

It had been more than 24 hours since they had gotten back from the Undercity.

This was her second night. She hadn't left the hospital since then, nor had she had a decent meal.

Still, she couldn’t care enough to pull herself up.

Chapter Text

Anger.

Raw Anger.

When anger morphed into shame, her therapist had at least attempted to placate whatever conflict had been boiling inside Caitlyn.

Her voice was a calming drawl in a silent room. “Anger isn’t wrong, you know. It’s a by-product of grief and loss. “

“I wanted revenge.”

“To want revenge is human. It’s a part of our natural desire for justice, but the problem lies in whether or not that revenge can bring you the justice you’re imagining.”

“It could have. She’s a crazed criminal— She could have killed hundreds— if not thousands of others. We would have killed her to keep the city safe.”

“To stop yourself from acting on those same emotions is the reason we’re here,” the therapist explained. “Back then you told me, you had the opportunity, did you act on it? Did you shoot the person who killed your mother?”

“Yes.”

“But did you kill her?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“I couldn’t?”

“You couldn’t? But you said she was a crazed criminal. What was stopping you?”

That was a kid! What if you missed?

“She stopped me,” Caitlyn muttered bitterly.

“Who stopped you?”

“My…. partner stopped me.”

“And why did she stop you?”

Caitlyn didn't respond. No, she couldn't respond. Of all things, it had been those forced therapy sessions which had Caitlyn learning and accepting, maybe she had been the one in the wrong.

Unfortunately, by then, Vi had been gone for two months already.

Jinx didn’t come home that night.

Meanwhile, sleep came and left in some unpredictable pattern, never staying long enough to give Caitlyn a good rest.

Maybe falling asleep on the sofa had been a bad idea. With the sun up, it didn't make sense to keep sleeping either.

She had been in the hospital for more than two nights already.

And how long had Jinx been gone? She pressed at the sore spot on her back and took a deep breath. She turned to her side, splaying her hands on the floor below and pushed herself up.

Still no news.

They would have woken her up if there was.

Two feet on the ground, she pulled herself up to a standing position. “Jinx?”

Who was she kidding? The room was empty. Jinx would have been curled up in some corner if she had gone home anytime that night.

Caitlyn dragged herself out of the room, and on the way out, she passed by the nurse's station.

“Good morning Ms. Kiramman.” It was almost embarrassing how the nurses recognized her immediately.

“Any news on Vi?” Caitlyn asked.

“The doctor would tell you if there is.”

Caitlyn went down to the cafeteria. She ate a small container of yogurt, then half an apple, throwing the rest into a nearby bin as her stomach turned at the sight of it. Then she gulped down the cold coffee.

All in less than 30 minutes.

How long had she been sitting there? How long did it take her to eat for coffee to turn so quickly cold.

On the way out, she grabbed an extra container of yogurt, and took the stairs two at a time back up.

Just in case, she stood by the door to the hospital room, and she called out. “Jinx… Breakfast?” There was no response.

Jinx hasn’t returned.

No news on Vi.

No news on JInx.

How else could she let time pass?

She could go home.

No, home was just a little too far. She turned back to the nurse station and stared at the clock at half past eight.

Wow, it was still eight in the morning?

She needed to pass the time somehow. She turned to the duty nurse. “What time does the library open?”

“The hospital library? It opens at nine.”

Blunt force trauma

Just in case she read it wrong, Caitlyn let the words simmer in her lips as she muttered just intelligibly enough for her to comprehend.

“Blunt trauma, also known as non-penetrating trauma or blunt force trauma, refers to injury of the body by forceful impact, falls, or physical attack with a dull object.”

A rifle couldn’t count as a dull object, right?

Like the butt of a gun. The doctor’s words echoed, reverberated and Caitlyn’s world spun.

After she finished the medical encyclopedia article, she was immediately out of her seat. She scurried through the library, her footsteps barely making a sound. For some reason, she felt like a trespasser, a criminal trying to cover up for a crime.

She was out of her seat, and within minutes, she was back again with five more books.

The butt of your gun? There were a million other blunt objects that could have caused the injury: a bat, a well-timed punch, the corner of a side table. Why did the doctor go for such a conveniently specific weapon?

She scoured her own memory, recalling every single one of Jinx’s guns. She had seen three. Only one of them had been small enough to launch a well-timed strike at Vi’s side.

But when could it have happened?

In the undercity? While it had just been the two of them?

But Jinx said so herself. She hadn’t seen Vi in months either.

Reading five other books with the same definition of blunt force trauma wasn’t enough for progress.

Progress meant showing that that tiny gun of Jinx could have been the culprit.

Soon, Caitlyn realized, it was harder to prove guilt than innocence.

So she moved the goalposts.

Progress meant proving that that last conversation she had with Vi months ago had nothing to do with it.

She turned to the clock. It was ten in the morning. She left the desk with the pile of books still unreturned. She fell back on the smallest couch and curled up in her seat , her eyes turning towards the shelf. There was a literature section, and a very familiar book.

The Count of Montecristo

Have you read the book? Her therapist had mentioned the book in passing, and Caitlyn had never intended to go further than the summary of the book.

But then and there, she had so much time.

And she had to admit, she was desperate for a distraction.

Hatred is blind; rage carries you away; and he who pours out vengeance runs the risk of tasting a bitter draught

Sleep caught up to her, on a couch at the corner of the library. It didn’t warn of its coming or its passing, that when it left her to her faculties, Caitlyn was perceiving both her dreams and reality at the same time.

The gasps had been louder than she first thought it. The grimace, then the whimper, must have seemed almost dangerous for the librarian to have to check on her.

The waking process after had been painful to say the least.

“Are you okay?”

By the time, Caitlyn had gotten her bearings, the librarian was standing by her, flashing her a look of concern. “Should we call a doctor?”

“No, I’m fine. I just haven’t been sleeping well.”

“It’s her blood in your veins.”

“Then why are you the one acting like her?”

Nightmares, then the fear of dreaming again, they made it almost impossible to ever comfortably sleep. The librarian wasn’t her therapist though. There wasn’t any valid reason at all to bring it up.

“You were reading the Count of Monte Cristo. Did you manage to finish it?” the librarian asked

Caitlyn lowered her eyes to the book. She couldn’t remember the exact moment she dozed off.

“Did you enjoy it?”

Caitlyn couldn’t be so sure she had even finished it.

“The original is a few thousand pages long. We keep the abridged version on display, just so it’s accessible as light reading to the casual librarygoer.

Caitlyn couldn't imagine how it would exactly count as light reading. If anything, a story about a protagonist ruining the lives of every single one of the people that wronged him had been more demoralizing than encouraging.

Begrudgingly, it had her thinking of Vi. More specifically, about how Vi, in that same position, didn't do the same thing.

“No thank you,” Caitlyn said. “I think I should check on my friend.”

“She’s a patient here?”

“Yes, I accompanied her to the hospital.” She lowered her voice to a soft mutter. “What time is it?” Caitlyn scanned her surroundings for any semblance of a clock. Even the weak sunlight streaming from the window was no hint.

“Four in the afternoon,” the librarian said.

“I should go back,” Caitlyn said. She ran towards the desk to clean up her books, only to find all the desks had been cleaned out.

“I cleaned it out. If you were reading, sorry about that. I could help you find it?”

Caitlyn shook her head. “No, I’ve been here for too long anyway.”

She hadn’t even eaten lunch. Yet, she wasn’t hungry at all. She carried herself towards the door, and the library had followed behind and as Caitlyn walked out, she spared a lot more than a simple goodbye.

“Whoever your friend is… I wish I could say ‘I’m sure she’s fine,’ but knowing nothing about your situation, all I can assure you is whatever happens, everything will turn out fine in the end.”

Caitlyn wondered if the sleepless nights had been apparent in her expressions. Did she have worry lines, eyebags? Did she sprawl on the couch in such an unsightly way, that it was clear she was dealing with something?

She didn’t have much time to ponder anyway.

There were more pressing matters, and one of them being the doctor from yesterday, talking to the nurse's by the station and Caitlyn's burning curiosity.

“Excuse me…. I did some reading in the library and I guess, I just wanted to ask you a little more about that blunt force trauma you were talking about?”

Why did you think it was the butt of the gun?

Because it’s more common than people think. Internal hemorrhaging can very well come from a lucky hit by a rifle.

If someone wanted to kill a person, they wouldn't hit them with the butt of their rifle. They'd shoot them.

It’s been twenty four hours, and Jinx still hasn’t returned. Would she still be back?

It was late into the evening, and Caitlyn had downed the container of yogurt. It was more sour than it had been that morning, and Caitlyn suspected it could even ruin her stomach. She considered going down to get something a little more filling, but when her mind was going in other directions, she preferred that she was alone.

Admittedly, it didn't matter if her questions were answered. 'What was killing Vi was a more pressing question than 'who was killing Vi.'

Maybe she didn’t need the answers, but if she were honest with herself, she wanted them.

She thought of her rifle, particularly the one they had issued to her when she first enlisted as an enforcer. She considered going back home and examining the rifle herself.

But what could that do? She had already memorized her gun to a T. The butt of her rifle was something she had always held close. Of course she’d know what it meant.

Commander Kiramman. I’m sure you’re aware of the possession rule on firearms, and the ballistic markings on all government-issued guns right?

It was an improvement to legislation that had first been enacted when her mother came to power, an intiative to tackle the rampant incidences of police brutality. She had explained it to Caitlyn when Caitlyn had first brought up the incident at the bridge of progress, particularly how hundreds, if not thousands had died to enforcers.

Then Cassandra explained the law to Caitlyn herself.

It helps keep our soldiers in check. If the enforcers know they’d be answerable for a stray bullet, they’ll be less likely to shoot, unless completely necessary.

And there's no way the butt of the gun could ever be enough to kill. She had a gun at home. She could easily check it for herself.

But the doctor had a different perspective.

I worked in the clinics in the undercity for a few years after the uprising on the bridge…

Caitlyn imagined the twenty minute walk back to her home through the market streets.

There was a law passed to hold enforcers accountable for every shot they take.

Or maybe she could go the scenic route, away from the bars and the after-work crowds.

I couldn’t help but notice the rise in deaths by blunt trauma…

From the entrance of her house to her room was a good minute, maybe only half a minute if she ran.

Those who were rushed to the clinic, the bruises were almost all the same size— almost all the same shape.

The government-issued rifle she carried as an enforcer would be leaning harmlessly against the hardwood of her closet.

But there's no point. The doctor's words had overcome whatever doubt she may have had.

Then and there, she gave up on checking the gun herself. There was no problem a personal examination of her own gun would have done to placate what her mind had started trifling with already.

Her mind wandered to the gun she had left on the battlefield.

It was a government-issued rifle enhanced by hextech. Jayce had borrowed a spare from the enforcer's stock, just to experiment with it for a little longer. In time, she had adopted that same weapon for herself.

Her mind then wandered to the town hall meetings attended by all enforcers.

I would say our efforts at curbing any more abuses by our fellow efforts have been successful. There has been a sharp decline in deaths by police shootings since the passing of the law.

Then Jayce’s echoed voice echoed in her head, then Caitlyn imagined the natural glint of her new hextech rifle.

It’s still the same shape as the gun issued to enforcers.

But I had to reinforce the wood so it could withstand the recoil from shooting a hextech bullet.

Reinforcing the wood... meaning it's harder than the wood of an ordinary rifle. Jayce wasn't there to clarify it for her. She thought of running back to the undercity and searching for a gun, before scrapping that idea for the utter impossibility of it.

Most don’t die immediately. Death by internal bleeding is a slow death.

Shr could have still gone home if he chose to, but she couldn’t bring herself to push herself back up, let alone even open the door to get out of the room.

Hell, she didn’t even need to ask anymore questions. The doctor had volunteered all the information she needed, even before she could ask them.

Just a theory on my part, but I don’t think the law ever solved the issue of police brutality.

It just made it a little harder to detect.

The answer was right in her face. If anything, her fault lay in her inability to grab ahold of it herself.

Caitlyn must have dozed off again, maybe for an hour or so, before she was awoken by the disturbed breathing right next to her.

A clogged nose, ill-timed exhales and inhales. It was the ugly part of grief, the subtle one that haunted her during those sleepless nights.

But really, when was grief ever beautiful?

The exhales and inhales morphed to soft sniffles.

It could have been Jinx— No, it was likely Jinx, but what Caitlyn had hated to admit, that all those months ago, she had been the same way, reducing grief to long nights curled under her blanket, ill-timed inhales and exhales, and sleepless nights with an ugly clogged nose.

Maybe she had learned, or maybe she had been too clouded with hate.

Or maybe because Vi's uncertain fate didn't feel like a loss just yet.

Because Vi wasn’t going to die just yet.

On the other hand, Jinx had just lost someone she loved, and she was facing the loss of her family too.

The blank slate of the darkness just above Caitlyn was a canvas for her matted thoughts, and with time, it had become a little easier to comprehend.

When she lost her mother, she still had her father.

If Vi was gone, Jinx would have nothing.

Jinx was human. She deserved to grieve. No, she needed to grieve.

“Are you awake?” Caitlyn asked, her voice had come out weaker than she had imagined. How long had she just silently lay there?

Jinx didn’t respond, but Caitlyn was sure she was awake. The disturbance in her breathing was enough of a sign.

“I need to tell you something,” Caitlyn continued.

Silence.

“Months ago, I hit Vi with the butt of my rifle.”

“Are you saying you think you caused her injuries?”

“Looks like it.”

“With your lanky arms, you think you can do that much damage?”

“I didn’t hold back...”

“I didn’t hold back either when I fought my sister.”

“No, I was so angry…”

The strangled cry echoed again in her mind, and it had been echoing incessantly since she first heard it. If she had paper and pen and enough time, maybe she could have found a way to articulate the gulp, the guttural croak, choke— For a moment, Vi had struggled to breathe.

Or she had been crying. One of those.

But Caitlyn didn’t want to remember, because although it hadn’t hurt her when it happened, it hurt to remember.

The dreams still haunted her, and they came at her most vulnerable, under the duvet, with tears in her eyes, her sobs coming out in heaves. And every morning, she willed herself to forget.

But Jinx deserved to know.

So unwillingly, she dug through the recesses of her mind, recalling everything from Vi’s labored breaths, the gasps, the grimace on her face as she shrunk back, and the tears.

Vi had been crying.

Caitlyn bit back the tremble of her lips. Her hands were shaking, so she held both close to her chest, so tightly, that they pressed on her sternum, until she was struggling to breathe, just like Vi had been that fateful day.

But whatever she was doing to herself then, was far from what Vi had been through. There was no way to imagine how Vi had felt that day. Thus, there was no way to ever replicate it for herself.

And maybe Vi would never be able to tell her how it felt.

Maybe she’ll never be able to make amends.

“Are you gonna keep talking? Or do I go back to sleep?” Jinx asked.

“Are you actually able to sleep?” Caitlyn murmured.

Jinx didn’t respond, and Caitlyn fell back to her thoughts.

It was a tall order to put into words the moment before she climbed up the ladder and back to Piltover, to go into detail about how her senses perceived the ruins around them, Vi’s prone figure on the floor, or the laborious climb back to Piltover.

So she stopped there, and started to dig elsewhere.

As it turned out, it was much easier to reach for the emotion than the actual experience. Almost instinctively, in the darkness, she still reached for it and she had managed to grasp it.

And she regretted it almost instantly.

A part of her had enjoyed it. Back then, a part of her had been satisfied to have seen Vi crumpled on the floor, crying.

Crying.

Vi had been crying, and she didn’t do anything about it. In fact, she liked it. It was Vi’s gasps and whimpers that had been climbing back up faster and faster, and she wanted Vi to chase after her, and maybe if she did, Caitlyn would have pushed her away with her gun again, sending her falling a few feet down and back into the ruins.

Thank god, Vi didn’t chase after her then.

But either way, it shouldn’t have been Vi’s job to knock some sense into her. It should have been her own.

“She stopped me from shooting you, and I—- I couldn’t stop myself.”

She was their villain. She had been ready to kill their father, and who was she to expect Vi back for her again, after all this?

She was a hypocrite.

“Caitlyn.” Jinx’s voice shook, her voice deeper, almost different. Or maybe, because it was the first time Jinx had ever called her by name.

“I don’t know what came over me, but I wanted to hurt Vi. I wanted to hurt your sister. You know, if I hadn’t hurt her that much, if she climbed up after me to get me back, I could have…

She’d be the reason Jinx had no family. She’d be the reason Jinx was all alone.

I could have killed her.

At first, she had been careful about saying the word like it was taboo, like it was a hexed word that at the most could start wars. Her lips were trembling. Her vision was a haze, and for a moment, she didn’t realize that her mouth had been running much faster than her thoughts.

“If she dies, then it’s because I couldn't control myself. If anyone should be liable for this, it's---"

The next emotion was anger.

It was three in the morning and Jinx was screaming, so loud. Caitlyn had been too distracted by the pounding of her senses to notice the way the shadow had gotten up in those split seconds, the way the foot steps, then screams were only inches from here.

The world was a hodgepodge of darkness and sounds until Jinx was on top of her, clawing at her face. The black beanie had fallen to the ground, and if it hadn’t been for Caitlyn’s hands splayed in front of her and if it hadn't been for the nurses’ quick reaction to the Jinx’s angry screaming, Jinx would have gotten more than that lucky scratch on her right cheek and that bruise on her left.

It didn’t take too much to subdue Jinx, as if she was the one who wanted to calm down.

A nurse dragged Caitlyn out of the room, and seconds later, she was sitting by the nurse’s station, an ice pack on one cheek, a bandage on the other, while she listened to raw crying devolve to muffled sobs then to silence.

A nurse stepped out of the hospital room, and sat next to Caitlyn.

“Your friend…” The one in it started, putting one hand on her shoulder, her hand cupping it.

Her braids.

“Ah, she’s a jinx impostor,” Caitlyn said. “We were trying to capture the actual Jinx. That’s how our friend here got injured.”

The nurse nodded in understanding. “She’s resting now…”

Caitlyn could only hope she believed such a stupid lie. She didn’t have the brain space to come up with anything more astute. “That’s good to hear,” she mumbled, burying her face deeper into the ice pack.

“She’s calmed down. You can go back in.”

Caitlyn shook her head. “I could go home for the night. I don't live far from here."”

“You don’t wanna join her?”

“I don’t think she wants me there. After what happened…”

“She doesn’t seem angry at you in particular,” the nurse added.

“What makes you say that?”

“She asked about you.”

“About me?” Caitlyn blinked back her disbelief, her ice pack falling to her side.

The nurse stood by. “We’ll be nearby… but she needs someone he probably understands what’s happening a lot better than we do.. She was mumbling about being alone… about how everyone in her family was dead…She was asking for her mom and her sister… for someone called Isha… We know the patient is her sister but her mom, this…. Isha—- but we don’t know where she is… She couldn’t tell us where they were but if we could get in contact with them— you can go home and we could—”

Caitlyn’s heart rose to her throat, and she croaked, unable to muster even a silent nod. She shot up from her seat. “At this point, it’ll be impossible to get ahold of them.

Vi and Jinx, they had been all alone, and she had called Jinx nothing but a monster. She had tried to kill her.

How many people had she unknowingly orphaned even just working for Ambessa?

“I’ll check on her myself.” Caitlyn dropped the ice pack on the table, and walked slowly back into the room. The soft muffled sobs were more perceptible, even from the other side of the door.

“I watched them kill our parents. Do you have any idea how it feels?”

“Yes I do!”

Jinx was alone.

When Caitlyn’s mother died, that didn’t mean she was alone. Her father had held her hand through the harrowing process of getting back on her own two feet.

“Jinx.” She started. She cleared her throat and spoke again. “Powder?”

She didn’t know which name would have felt better. Maybe Vi would have known.

The room was dark and silent. If anything, there was nothing before her but shadows and a glimmer of moonlight. Somehow, the sobs etched images on the blackness, where there weren’t anything, and Caitlyn could have sworn, she was seeing a shaking shadow of gray against pitch black.

“I can’t offer a lot.”

You enforcers are all the same.

“Vi had probably told you the same thing. We enforcers are all the same… She probably wasn't wrong. I was ignorant, and because of that, I betrayed Vi… started a war against your city.--- committed atrocities I can't say I'll ever be proud of….but you know… along the way, Vi taught me a lot.”

We have to keep moving forward.

The words tasted sour, and she bit her tongue before her mouth ran with those words.

Really, who was she to beg Jinx to be better than she was.

She wasn't Jinx's mom either, nor was she her sister. She had no moral ascendency.

And if anything went wrong, she had a home to go to…

Meanwhile… Jinx?

In her darkest days, she had convinced herself that the main reason Vi wouldn’t let her shoot was because it was her sister at the receiving end.

That was her family. Of course, it would be in Vi’s best interest to stop her from shooting, but if Vi didn’t really know how to forgive. If Vi didn’t know how to be kind, why had Vi willingly fallen in love with an enforcer of all people.

And when she became commander, why didn’t Vi kill her when she had the chance?

“Caitlyn, she’s a child!”

Where was Vi when she needed her?

We shouldn’t forget how to be kind.

We shouldn’t forget how to forgive.

She couldn’t tell Jinx to be kind, if she hadn’t been kind herself.

In fact, at this point, she’d probably appreciate it more if Jinx gave her another solid punch to the face. Caitlyn sighed. “I can’t offer anything, but if it'll make you feel better, I could leave.”

“No, stay.” Jinx's response was quick.

“You… want me to stay?” She cocked her head to the side in confusion and disbelief.

“You’re a lot better at talking to the doctors than I am,” Jinx said. “If Vi needs something, you’ll be able to handle it better than I would. And when she wakes up, she’ll look for you…”

Caitlyn chose not to respond. There wasn’t anything she could have contributed anyway.

“Besides, I don’t think she’s gonna die.” Jinx whispered through the dimness. “I told you right? If she dies, she’s not my sister.”

Not your sister? Caitlyn winced again. It was the second time within the past 48 hours Jinx had said it. “What do you mean by that?”

“Vander told me long ago. My sister’s unbreakable.”

Chapter Text

More than 72 hours stuck in the hospital.

Then more than 48 hours with no news on Vi, and Caitlyn gave up.

She had to go outside.

But she’d be back anyway.

She planned 6 hours out of the hospital, and she’d be back by 2. Or at least that’s what she told Jinx as she left early that morning.

Jinx didn’t ask, nor did she even hint that she cared what time Caitlyn would be back.

Caitlyn mostly decided on it for herself. The only way to hold herself accountable and the only way to make sure she didn’t spend too much time dawdling was to give herself a strict time limit and make sure somebody knew.

If she didn’t keep herself in check, she might just end up dropping dead on her bed and sleeping the days— hell, even the week— away.

She only allowed herself 4 hours at home. She took a long hot shower, slept on her own bed, and by the 4th hour, she was stuffing a week’s worth of clothes into a duffel bag with her toiletries.

She was determined to stay in the hospital for as long as it took Vi to get better.

She could never make up the time they had lost, but she could at least try.

On the way back to the hospital, she took the scenic route, through rows of shops, bustling with weekend crowds.

She didn’t even notice until she had seen the empty streets on the way back to her house, that it was already Saturday. Time seemed to move differently in the hospital. Weekdays and weekends seemed almost trivial when death was a weight, looming over every possibility she trifled with.

She passed the busier roads for a little relaxing window shopping.

There wasn’t much to buy. She had everything she needed in her overnight bag, but the display of freshly baked bread had her staring for a few seconds longer then furrowing her brows deep in thought.

She and Jinx had spent a little too much time going down to the cafe for meals, and for the days that they didn’t have energy, maybe it was high time they made use of the extra table in Vi’s room.

“Welcome.”

Caitlyn nodded. She was in no mood for small talk. God, she hoped they didn’t recognize her.

Caitlyn had on a simple silk blouse and pants, and a hat which obscured at least part of her face. With the bandage on one cheek and a bruise on the other, she was confident she’d be unrecognizable when she lowered her head.

It turned out that that hadn’t been too much of a problem. There were only two people in the shop.

The woman, that looked to be the baker was manning the counter, and she was occupied, dealing with a customer who seemed to be bargaining.

She studied the rows and rows of bread of different shapes and sizes. She considered the multigrain, the sourdough and the typical white bread, and as her eyes glazed over the cupcakes, she thought:

What would Jinx eat?

She had given Jinx pocket money to buy whatever food or toiletries she might need, but they were never gone from the room at the same time.

She could never be too sure. Still, she studied rows of breads and she wondered if she had seen anything similar in the undercity. She thought about what Vi would eat, but Vi never complained about food.

Anything was better than the slop they served in Stillwater.

Just behind her, the bargaining continued. Maybe she could even call it an altercation as voices rose.

“We can’t offer discounts this haphazardly sir. You’re asking for five loaves for the price of two. Even with the discount—”

“Your daughter forgot to send everything we ordered.”

“And that’s why we gave you what we did!”

“And you can do it again.”

“But we cannot give the same concession every time you order. You’ll put us out of business.”

“Then how about you stop having your daughter deliver the bread. She clearly doesn’t know what she’s doing.”

“She’s still learning—-”

The customer tsked. “Wiith her inability to follow simple orders, I recommend you even have her checked—-”

“How much are those five loaves?” Caitlyn knew where the conversation was going, and she’d hate to be a bystander to it.

“Excuse me?” The customer’s face was a beet red, by her rude interjection or maybe that had been his disposition since he’d arrived.

Caitlyn gave him no time to protest. She lowered her hat further over her eyes. “To save you the trouble, I’ll pay it. Just add it to my purchase.”

The baker at the counter blinked back shock. “Ma’am, you sure? You don’t have to do this?”

“No it’s fine. I’d rather let go of some short change than stand by while people fight in front of me. Just add this to the purchase.” Caitlyn didn’t bother to indulge herself in her time or choices. Instead, she had gone for the two closest loaves of bread, big and fat and dropped them on the table next to the man’s purchase.

At first glance, Caitlyn was sure the two loaves would last them a week.

The man next to her was silent from shock or maybe fear? Caitlyn had adopted the same authoritative tone she’d carry as she presided over political meetings as their commander. Somehow, it seemed to demand respect, even when she wasn’t so sure what she had offered had been the correct choice.

It ended the conflict at least, and that was success enough for her.

The man stuffed his purchase into his back and scurried out of the store.

“Thank you,”

Looking up again, Caitlyn had a better look of the baker, a middle aged woman on the heavier side, mouthed, and much more loudly, she spoke again. “If there’s any type of bread you’re hoping for, I’m sure I could spare another loaf.”

“Don’t,” Caitlyn said. “I wanted to do this.” She hurried out of the baker, wondering even for herself what had come over her to have mustered that courage. She couldn’t deny that, the past few months had left a heavy weight on her shoulders, and moments look like that had been pockets of reprieve, and they left her walking out of them just a little lighter.

Relief was like a badge that seemed to feed at her exhaustion. There was a natural spring to her step. It had been a while since she felt that way, so when it came over her, she indulged in it.

“Wow, fancy seeing you here.”

A familiar voice pierced into her reality so unexpectedly she yelped, and my god, had it been an ugly sound.

“Jinx.” Caitlyn hissed. “What are you doing out here?”

The hood was a shoddier disguise than the black beanie, but at the least, it hid some of JInx’s face. Her attempt at blending in though—-- if that’s what it had been—- was all made useless by where she had found Jinx in the first place.

“Get down from there!”

She was sitting on the roof of the shop, her legs dangling just above Caitlyn.

Hell, Caitlyn was pretty sure that loitering on someone’s rooftop constituted some crime.

“On a little field trip.”

At that point, Caitlyn remembered, Jinx never promised to stay in.

In fact, the fresh air would probably do her some good. With everything that was happening to her, she deserved whatever break she thought best for herself.

Caitlyn took a breath and turned on her heel. “As long as you make sure no one recognizes you at least.” She had walked a few steps towards the direction of the hospital, when Jinx spoke up again.

“I’m working on it.” Jinx pulled her hood lower over her face. “You wanna join in?”

Caitlyn froze on her tracks. “Join what?”

Jinx shrugged. “Just thought you’d need some distraction.”

Caitlyn refused to walk the rooftops of Piltovan buildings. There had been a law prohibiting that, she was sure, and eventually, with time, after the last few buildings and after a few more attempts at admonishing Jinx, Jinx finally gave in, and plopped herself next to Caitlyn, her hood pulled lower over her face.

“What is this about anyway?”

“I saw you exit that bakery,” Jinx said, looking pointedly at the bread bag Caitlyn held close to her side.

“Yes, I bought us bread for breakfast, so at least we won’t have to go down every morning.”

“Well, I’ve never been inside the bakery, but there’s this kid… who delivers bread for her.”

“Her daughter?”

“So you do know them.”

“Not really. I’ve been there a few times, but today, I did overhear something about her daughter…”

“About…”

“They were fighting about her daughter being unable to deliver bread.”

Jinx flashed her a knowing look, one eyebrow raised. “Really?” From neutral to brimming curiosity, her sudden change in demeanor was jarring. It was as if Caitlyn had somehow given the correct answer, without her ever knowing what the question was.

Caitlyn was left in utter confusion. Everything Jinx was thinking could all be a waste of time.

But a distraction was a distraction. If it pulled Jinx out of her stupor, then it was worth a look. “You have something in mind?” Caitlyn asked.

“The past few days…” Jinx said. “I’ve been in and out of the hospital, right? Finding something else to do… as a distraction of some sorts,” she said. “And there was a kid…” She stopped at her tracks. “Who ran around delivering bread in the late afternoons, and I guess I just got a little invested…”

“In delivering bread?” Caitlyn still had no idea where the conversation was going.

Jinx shook her head.” No, I was invested in something she lost.”

Caitlyn furrowed her brows in thought.

Jinx walked ahead.” I overheard her a few days ago, crying in the bakery as I walked through that same street, and she was crying about losing someone called Isha.”

A few back and forths later, and Caitlyn was up to speed, but left in utter disbelief. “There’s no way she’s talking about your Isha.”

“I’m not an idiot. I know she isn’t, but I couldn’t help but follow her, just because there’s still a tiny chance she is, but if it’s not, at least I get to see who this Isha was…and I guess…” Jinx turned toward the alley. “We go here.”

“You wanna find that Isha,” Caitlyn continued.

“Hey, it’s a great distraction. One good deed won’t bring Isha back to life but…” Jinx shrugged, and said with a lower voice. “When there’s nothing else to do but wait… I guess I might as well waste my time being a little superstitious….”

Bargaining.

It was an intrusive and unwelcome thought which pounced into the conversation and begged for a seat. Caitlyn was counting the stages, and she was almost ashamed to do it.

She brushed it away. “A good deed is a good deed,” Caitlyn said with a sigh.

Even if that specific thing is logically not going to come out of it.

As soon as they reached the alleyways that snaked through lower Piltover, Jinx knew exactly where to go. She sped up.

“Hey, where are we going.”

“We’re following her delivery route,” Jinx said.

“So you’re going to interrupt a child’s delivery job for—”

Jinx propped one arm on her waist and gave Caitlyn the most disappointed look. “Why are you assuming the worst intentions from me? I did mention it’s a good deed, right?”

Caitlyn sighed. Frankly, she still didn’t believe it was a good deed, but it was better that she was there to stop Jinx if needed.

Isha?

Alleys were like winding corridors that carried sounds like nothing else. Caitlyn heard them as echoes more than raw sounds. The more winding the roads, the more they intersecting, the more misleading the echoes could be.

As they spoke, Jinx followed the conversation, and Caitlyn fell right behind.

“Bingo,” Jinx whispered.

“Wait, Jinx— what are we doing?”

As they drew closer, Jinx had a little less regard for Caitlyn who was trailing behind. “It’s just a quick look. We help the kid and we’re out.”

“But—”

“And also, I think this is a good time to—” Jinx didn’t finish her sentence as she climbed over rooftops and scaffolding of unfinished buildings. She was faster, much faster than Caitlyn would ever be.

With her overnight bag and bread bag weighing on her, Caitlyn could only run awkwardly behind and climb clumsily through the emergency stairs of one of the buildings. Luckily, they didn’t have to walk far. Within seconds, Jinx was laying chest first on one roof, staring at a group of children just below. Within a minute, Caitlyn had counted five kids as she lay next to Jinx. The smallest was a young girl with a bread basket who had the same clear eyes as her mom, and notably, she had the same complexion as Isha.

But she wasn’t Isha. Caitlyn turned to Jinx, to see that the latter was leaning her chin on folded hands.

Jinx was like a panther ready to strike.

But when?

“I can’t give you any more of the bread. Mommy told me she’s losing a lot of money already.”

One kid harumphed. “Then Isha will die, then?”

From her peripherals, Caitlyn noted the slight flinch from Jinx’s figure.

The young girl hummed nervously. “What about if we can get Isha together, I’ll give you this whole basket… and we won’t have to do this anymore.”

“But that means we won’t have any free bread anymore, will we?”

Caitlyn winced. She had seen those types of bullies before. These people never planned on giving Isha back, wherever she is. Caitlyn turned to Jinx. “What’s the plan?”

JInx hummed. “We find Isha, right?”

There wasn’t much to interrupt anyway. Most of the altercation had been verbal, not until some kid mentioned something about burning a clothes line.

Then he mentioned something else, that had Caitlyn’s blood running cold.

Then your papa’s gonna die right?

The atmosphere changed almost immediately.

The little girl, almost a whole foot short than the shortest among boys, was on him, scratching and pulling hair.

Despite the boys desperate shrieks, his friends were a split second too slow at reacting.

“Hey!” Caitlyn called out, but she was a good thirty feet above the others, and likely they wouldn’t hear her. She scanned her surroundings for the quickest way down, but Jinx had been faster.

Jinx was down there, pulling the little girl back before Caitlyn could even start her descent.

“That’s my girl,” Jinx said.

“Who the hell are you?”

JInx must have been slow on purpose, as she lowered her hood, untied and pulled off her cloak. “Who do you think I am?” Her mouth twisted into a loud smirk, and her eyes were glowing a little more violet than usual. “You recognize me?”

And somehow, that seemed to work better than any threat.

“That’s Jinx! The phantom of the undercity!”

“Mother said she’s a myth.”

“Mom’s gonna kill us if we fight her—-”

It ended as quickly as it started. Within a minute, they were reduced to the pitter patter of footsteps echoing against the narrow alleyway.

“We didn’t even get to ask them where Isha is,” Jinx muttered.

Caitlyn had only landed on the cobble stoned streets, and they were on their way elsewhere.

It turned out, Isha’s location hadn’t been a problem. The little girl introduced herself as Nadia. She whispered a soft thank you right after, before pulling Jinx towards the opposite direction then into another alleyway.

“We’re going to Isha,” she said.

There was a perceptible glint in Jinx’s eyes, as Nadia spoke that name again. The little girl had a hint of an accent, that when she said the name, it rolled out of her tongue like it was a word she had grown up speaking.

Jinx was walking faster, yet still slow enough that Nadia was leading the way.

Caitlyn counted two more forks on the road, three more turns into alleys, until they reached an alley which didn’t seem so different from everything else, but Nadia slowed down until something was right above them.

Yet, Caitlyn couldn’t tell what Isha could have been.

“That’s… Isha?” Jinx asked.

Caitlyn still couldn’t make it out.

“Isha,” The young girl said again.

JInx wasn’t so good at hiding the droop in her shoulders, or the disappointed sigh, but still her reaction had been subtle enough that only Caitlyn, who had been looking for it, would have seen it. Nadia had been too busy staring at the clothesline.

Jinx scaled the walls and jumped towards the clothesline, and falling to the floor was a shabby dog stuffed toy.

“This is Isha.” Caitlyn picked it up and held it between her finger tips. It was handmade for sure.

The patches, the uneven limbs and the inconsistent stitches wouldn’t have sold in the markets of Piltover, but when Nadia got ahold of it, she hugged it close to her and she didn’t let go the whole walk back. And for a while, she had been crying.

Jinx on the other hand, wasn’t just disappointed. During their walk back, her disappointment lulled to something else, something closer to death than life.

“You okay?” Caitlyn asked.

Jinx didn’t answer.

Nadia invited them back to the bakery, excitedly pushing them from behind, and being back at the hospital by 2pm—Hell, even within that afternoon— was starting to look more like a distant dream than a reality.

Still, it felt rude to turn down an invitation from an excited little girl.

Jinx on the other hand, had her hood back on, and was leaning heavily against the wall at the closest alleyway. She made a pinky promise with Isha about a little secret between them, and she offered to stay outside.

“Mom, they found Isha!”

“They?”

Caitlyn followed behind her, and the shop had at least been empty, that the baker— Nadia’s mother, had all her attention on Caitlyn. From surprise, her expression softened. “You’re really a gift to our family, huh?”

They let her stay for a while longer, even as the baker flipped the door sign over. She offered a little more bread, meat pies, something to tide them over for dinner.

But just outside, Jinx was waiting, so Caitlyn declined everything, but at least, had given in to a homemade meat pie, that the baker promised to make then and there.

While Caitlyn waited, Nadia let her hold Isha again, and with a little more time with the doll, Caitlyn was able to trace the stitches, the bumps and the patches that seemed more like welts than intentional design. Isha was a well-loved stuffed toy, and as Nadia’s mother kneaded the dough, and laid them out on the tray, she was telling stories.

“When she was much younger, Nadia wanted a puppy. Back then, we thought she had been a little too young for it, so my husband made the stuffed toy for her as a little exercise on learning to love and care and he told her if she cherished it enough only two, said that if she loved it enough, it would come to life.”

“And she did cherish it…” Caitlyn said.

The baker nodded. “Now that she’s older, I was ready to give her the puppy she was asking for… but she was inconsolable. All she wanted was Isha back.

“Surely the live puppy could have cheered her up.”

The baker hummed. “Not when Isha is all she has left of her father.”

Caitlyn furrowed her brows. “Her father’s dead?”

Papa’s gonna die?

Caitlyn lowered her eyes onto the doll, and thumbed the oldest of the stitches, what had likely been done by Nadia’s father. “I recently lost my mother,” she admitted. “But I can only imagine losing my father at such a young age.”

“It was hard for both of us. Nadia had to grow up a lot faster. She had to help with the bakeshop a lot more, but you know, she learned quickly.”

“Nadia, could you get me a box?”

The stove was open again, the scent of meat pies wafting out, and just so things could move a little faster, Caitlyn stood up and held her rucksack over her shoulder.

“But back then, Nadia…” Caitlyn turned to the little girl who had started rummaging through boxes. “I heard you say… Papa’s gonna die. If Isha dies, papa dies.”

“Did she say that?” The baker asked as she lay the meat pie on the box. She grinned as she flashed her daughter a playful look. “You really think you’re gonna see papa soon, huh?”

“Excuse me?” Caitlyn’s eyes widened in horror.”

The baker laughed and shook her head. “It’s not what you think. The people like her father believe in reincarnation, and in their culture common for people to hold onto something, to guide the soul’s of their loved ones back to them, so at the least, they can be reborn close to them.”

“And you believe in it, too?” Caitlyn asked.

She shook her head. “No I’m a native from Piltover, just like you I imagine, we run on more secular ideas.”

Caitlyn gave her a soft smile. “It’s inspiring, that even with your husband gone, you’re still teaching her her father’s culture.”

“Because it gives her something to hope for, and with it, a reason to live day by day even through the worst. And when life’s this cruel, I’d rather she lived on hope than on despair.”

“Thank you for saving, Isha.” Nadia walked them out to the end of the street.

In the language of her father, Isha meant “life,” which explained how naturally the word had rolled off the young girl’s tongue again, as she helped Caitlyn carry the boxes out.

“You know it wasn’t me,” Caitlyn said, mustering a soft smile.

Somehow, young Nadia had convinced her mom to serve two meat pies, just in case Caitlyn got hungry along the way, but Nadia had other more hidden motives. As they made out Jinx, curled up in an alleyway, Nadia ran towards her, swinging the paper bag in one hand, and she hugged JInx…hard.

“Woah there… not like that, my back’s been hurting”

“How long have you been sitting there?” Caitlyn asked.

“For how long you’ve been hanging inside the bakery.”

“You’ll visit the bakery next time, right?”

“Maybe.” Jinx flashed a grin, albeit a lifeless one. Her voice was a rasp. She could have been crying for all Caitlyn knew. “I’m jealous, you got your Isha back, but mine is still lost. For now, I’ve got my own isha to get back, but once I do... maybe I'll visit?”

Jinx said isha with the same foreign burr as Nadia, and Caitlyn couldn’t help but note it as they both waved good bye to the little girl.

“You know Isha means ‘life,’ right?” Caitlyn asked.

“Of course I do,” Jinx said, as she stood up, and patted her dusty ass clean. “I didn’t spend a year of my life taking care of a child named Isha without asking her what her name meant.”

“Were you disappointed?”

Jinx shook her head. “No, I saw it coming, but for some reason, I still hoped that maybe it could have worked.”

“To bring Isha back?” You saw her bloodied body. Caitlyn immediately bit her tongue. She need not add insult to injury.

“Or at least… you know, do a few good deeds to pass the time… you know to bring back Powder back…” She shrugged. “Maybe that would get my sister to finally wake up.”

“You think that would work?”

Jinx shrugged despondently. “We all know that’s not how science works, but I thought it would be worth a try.”

Jinx was walking a lot slower, and it had taken some pains on the part of Caitlyn to match her lazy stride. Even if she didn’t admit it, it was apparent that Jinx had come out of that field trip with less baggage.

They weren’t going to make it back to the hospital by sundown at least, but it didn’t seem productive either to spend the walk back in silence, especially with Jinx dragging her feet through the cobblestoned streets, looking worse for wear than when Caitlyn first found her.

“You didn’t go in with Nadia,” Caitlyn said.

“And?” Jinx challenged.

“Now that I think about it, if you just wore your hood or even the black beanie, they wouldn’t have recognized you.”

“I know.”

“And I’m sure Nadia wouldn’t have snitched on you.”

“I know.”

“Then why did you stay out?”

“Because…”

“Because?”

“That stuffed puppy… made me think of my sister.”

“Vi?” It was a useless attempt at clarity, but Vi and stuffed toys seemed an almost incompatible pair.

“It’s nothing deep. My sister used to have a similar toy when we were kids, and it had gotten lodged on some wires, the same way that stuffed toy was.” Jinx said. “She told me about how she used to wait right under for the wind to dislodge it or for someone to help her get it…”

With the scars, tattoos and bruises Vi had accumulated over the years, she had been difficult to imagine as a child. It was embarrassing that the most Caitlyn could have conjured in her imagination was a generic little girl with pink hair, reaching out towards a clothesline ten feet above her. She imagined a little Nadia with pink hair. She imagined that same smile as Nadia plopped the toy on Caitlyn’s lap.

“I’m guessing she never got it back?”

Jinx shook her head. “By the time she was old enough to get it herself, she didn't find much use for it."

“Or maybe there just wasn’t much time to care anymore,” Caitlyn muttered.

How old had Vi been when she lost her parents? The violent uprising that was all over the news happened at around the time that Caitlyn was in her later years of grade school, and around the last time she had ever played with dolls.

Begrudgingly, Caitlyn would admit that she had been playing with them every now and then until her early teenage years.

How old was Vi when she actually had to grow up?

As the hospital building came into view, Caitlyn slowed down. “Did you and Vi ever play with dolls as a kid?”

Jinx hummed. “We had the shabby stuffed animals the Pilties would donate to the undercity… but to be honest… No… If we did play with that toy, I was probably too young to remember.” She tapped one finger on her chin and hummed in thought. “Maybe we did play… back when mom was still alive and maybe I’ve seen her carry it around before, but it was so long ago, so many things happened… with our parents gone… moving in with Vander.”

“You think the stuffed toy’s still there?” Caitlyn asked.

“The one my sister lost?” Jinx frowned in confusion. “It’s been years. A lot happened since then."

Caitlyn shrugged. “Maybe, if we have some more time for a field trip like this… Think of it like a treasure hunt.”

“And what would that accomplish?” Jinx challenged.

Caitlyn was silent as she walked ahead, and walked through the main entrance of the hospital. If she was going to be a tad bit superstitious, she’d rather keep it to herself.

Chapter Text

There were developments. The nurses had been familiar enough with their faces, that as soon as they entered the hospital, the nurse was at their beck and call.

“The doctors gave the go-signal.”

“Really?” Caitlyn widened her eyes.

Was Vi awake?

Was VI looking for them?

It looked to be a simple relaxation of visitation rules, but no doctor had been available to explain whether it had been a good thing or a bad thing.

He can likely explain it tomorrow.

At first, they weren’t allowed to go in together. Every single time they even passed through the ward together, the nurse would remind them ‘one at a time.’

Vi was situated in a tiny room, with only a bed and machines at her side, but there was a window that opened up to the hall, so even when she chose not to go in, she could still observe from the other side of the glass.

There had been reasons for this, and the nurses didn’t hesitate to explain themselves.

Vi was in the ICU, far from being moved into a private room, and the rows of glass windows that opened to hospital rooms, made it much easier for the nurses to keep watch.

More importantly, Caitlyn could keep watch without ever having to force herself inside. “You wanna go first?” she asked.

Jinx was leaning silently on the wall right next to Caitlyn, her eyes downcast. Right in front of them, on the other side of the room was Vi lying motionless on the bed, hooked to countless machines.

“I guess I can.” Jinx didn’t comment on the tubes that snaked over her body or the layers of bandages criss-crossing over her chest, nor did she pay specific attention to them.

Caitlyn didn’t prod either. She thought it a convenient excuse that the beeping of the machines were just too incessant, too distracting to allow her some substantive comment on anything that was happening.

Besides, Jinx wouldn’t want to hear anything from her mouth. Maybe Jinx didn’t want anything to do with her either, and it was clear with how often she was in and out of Vi’s hospital room, she’d rather be anywhere but there.

Caitlyn couldn’t blame her. Staying with an unconscious Vi had started to seem more like an excruciatingly jarring chore more than a relief. When Vi wasn’t conscious and when she likely wouldn’t be for god knows how long, it surprisingly felt worse than not having Vi with her at all.

But Caitlyn couldn't leave. Somehow, she felt she had to be there.

Once or even twice an hour, she was out, then Caitlyn would go in. Sometimes, she was probably even out of the hospital.

When Caitlyn warned her to stay low key, Jinx merely grunted with an almost unintelligible ‘I know.’

Over 24 hours, then 48 of changing clothes, forcing herself to chew every mouthful, forcing himself to swallow, just so she didn’t starve to death.

Was Vi dreaming or was she already dead? At a certain point, she found herself envying Vi.

Surprisingly, living was harder than dying.

Eventually, Caitlyn noticed. Jinx had never come back, But she wasn’t so sure how many hours had passed.

There was no window to the outside world in Vi’s room. She had been keeping track of time through short naps, and reminders from the nurses to make sure she was eating.

Her method wasn’t a bastion of precision, and Caitlyn was almost embarrassed to ask, but she made the intelligent guess of at least 24 hours.

She exited Vi’s hospital room, and gave the duty nurse a rehearsed nod. “She’s here… right?”

“She’s back in the room,” the nurse said.

Caitlyn had been a lot more careful about mentioning Jinx’s name. Admittedly, the doctor had asked about it, Caitlyn had given some explanation about a super fan, which may or may not have flown.

At the least, they’ve been too much of a bunch of regulars that if Caitlyn asked, they knew she was asking about the girl in a black beanie who was in and out of the hospital. If Jinx asked, they knew she was talking about ‘Ms. Kiramman.’

“Has she left the room?”

The duty nurse paused. “You can ask the others but…”

Caitlyn’s stomach turned. This didn’t look like it’d be good news.

She made her way to the room, and she didn’t bother to knock.

The white light from the crack of the door had been enough to make out that supine figure on the bed.

“That’s Vi’s bed,” Caitlyn said. She wasn’t interested in kicking Jinx out, nor in protecting that sanctity of Vi’s food. Hell, she didn’t even know when they’d transfer Vi to a private room.

But she had to get JInx out of there somehow.

“How long have you been lying there?”

Jinx merely grunted in response. At least she was awake.

“You’re not gonna visit her?”

“What’s the point?” Jinx croaked. It sounded like she hadn’t used her voice in years.

“She’s your sister.”

“I’d rather sleep.”

Caitlyn could have sworn she had seen that before: lying motionless on the bed, not eating for days, her voice a croak, someone on the other side begging her to get out of the room, or at least just stand up.

Suddenly she was in her father’s shoes, carrying the same weight, but with no leeway to just lie down and do the same. She let out a deep sigh as she turned back to the ICU.

Entering Vi’s room again, she leaned over the side of the bed, gripping Vi’s lifeless hand.

“For what I put you through, I know I deserve worse… Vi, since she’s your sister… I’ll do what I can, but— if you’re in there…”

I need your help.

No, she didn’t deserve Vi’s help. This was a problem she created herself. She forewent the chair, and knelt on the hard floor, running her hands over Vi’s palm, tracing rough scars. Her thumb lingered on one of the deepest ones, and she kissed it.

“Leave it to me,” she whispered. “This is my mess to fix.”

Deja vu.

A few hours later, She found herself standing over at corner of the nurse’s office, her hand pressed the handset of the phone.

Her father answered even before the second ring. Since mother’s death, he rarely left the room.

“Is everything okay?”

“I told you right? Vi’s still in the hospital.”

“Right…” Her father wasn’t as sharp as before. “How is she?”

Caitlyn fell silent. He didn’t prod. “Is there anyway I can help you, Caitlyn?

“Nothing really… I just wanted to talk to you.”

The conversation flowed a little more naturally. She didn’t need advice, or maybe her father couldn’t give it.

He hadn’t done anything spectacular or divine to pull her out of the pits of her own desolation. He had only stood there, talked to her, asked her questions, and then maybe he had asked for a little more help.

And Caitlyn remembered, everything about it had somehow worked to get moving. A little companionship had done wonders, turning what could have been months trapped in her bedroom to a week tops.

Jinx wasn’t eating.

Caitlyn had borrowed the pantry, sliced some bread and set it out next to Jinx on the bed. She came back hours later to untouched bread. “Is there anything in particular you want to eat?”

Jinx let out a muffled groan. She had changed at least fom the supine position a day ago to a prone one.

“You won’t do any good starving yourself,” Caitlyn said.

Jinx didn’t seem to care.

Caitlyn had seen it before. Just months ago, she had been in that same position while her dad left plate after untouched plate of food by her bedside.

You won’t do any good starving herself.

But really, back then, she didn’t seem to care, and she couldn’t blame Jinx for feeling the same way.

“I talked to my dad,” Caitlyn said.

She didn’t expect a response. At the most, the echoes of the small room had served as some level of companionship. The beeping of the machines, the hissing of the oxygen mask, served as some anchor to reality.

Something to push her to keep speaking— to keep her thinking.

“And I was thinking to myself… How can I help your sister?”

“It was my dad who asked you to talk to me back then, right?”

Caitlyn’s mind was a fortress. Her memories weren’t vapid per se, but she couldn’t put a finger to anything Vi had told her that night. She remembered the soft chill of the air, as her duvet was pulled away, suddenly replaced by the warmth

“I wish I could remember what you were telling me back then… Maybe you were whispering things, but for some reason I—-” Caitlyn bit her lip.

She remembered Vi’s arms around her, her face buried against Caitlyn’s back. Caitlyn remembered how that had been enough of a catalyst, to have her falling back into her reality. At that moment, she had regained control of herself.

It was a gradual process, and a lot of the minute details, she may have forgotten.

But to forget what Vi had been telling her.

It probably wasn’t important if she so easily forgot.

No, it was important.

She could have sworn that the morning after, she had awoken with a new found energy. It wasn’t enough to prance around a garden throwing seeds for birds to peck at, but it had been enough to at least sit in the living room and deal with piles of letters of condolences.

“I can’t remember,” Caitlyn whispered again. She started to indulge in wishful thinking. She had one hand gripping Vi’s arm, noting how the muscles were a little less defined. Vi was losing weight at an alarming pace.

She traced her fingertips over the rough bumps on Vi’s arms.

She had been wearing a short sleeve night dress that night, and Vi’s arms so easily rapped around hers, their arms pressed against each other.

Oil and water. A bitter joke.

Back then, Vi had smelled like day-old sweat. Caitlyn had smelled like faded baby oil.

Oil and water never mixed, but side by side, their bodies pressed against each other was a visceral experience altogether. They never mixed, but when they at least tried, things happened. And there were parts of the experience, that could only be attributed to magic.

I just can’t remember.

Caitlyn continued to trace, from the bumps on Vi’s forearm, to the tube at the back of her hand, to her raw knuckles that had hardened to calluses.

That fateful night, locked in Vi’s embrace, she found herself pressing her own hands over Vi’s. Unable to sleep, she had spent long hours tracing the calluses, picking out the larger ones from the smaller ones. Maybe if she tried hard enough, she could tell Vi’s hands from anyone else’s

Parts of Vi’s hands hadn’t changed since then. The calluses were still familiar to the touch.

She gently turned Vi’s hand over, and then she traced the edge of her pams, before her fingers settled on the lower side, only inches above Vi’s wrist. Her lower palm had the same burns and scars. Some had healed over. Others were newer.

Then another memory awoke inside her, with the simple movement of Caitlyn’s palm pressing against Vi’s.

“Cupcake, are you awake?”

A vapid memory turned visceral as suddenly as the flipping of a light switch. Their palms had been against each other’s. Caitlyn had gripped the side of her hand, her thumb over Vi’s palms, her other fingers over Vi’s knockled, and at the same moment Vi had tightened her hold over her, and breathed roughly against Caitlyn’s back.

“I know I can’t give you back your mother.”

“I know I might not be enough.”

“I know I’ll probably never be enough but I’m here.”

“I’m here for you, and I’ll be here for as long as you need me here.”

Caitlyn sat there unmoving for what felt like a minute or so. Her eyes darted towards the clock.

She had been sitting unproductively for 2 hours, and as expected, there hadn’t been much change.

At that moment, Vi had saved her from herself.

But why did it take her so long to remember?

Maybe because it had been months since then? Memories fade with time after all.

But memories like these shouldn’t have faded. No, Caitlyn should have left them.

These memories had all been residuals from the past few months, residuals to some desperate attempt to push Vi as far away from her as possible.

Caitlyn spoke up. “I could apologize all I want, but it probably won’t take back any of it, huh?” She paused. “I shouldn’t have pushed you away in the first place.

Maybe she could coax her out.

“Jinx, you okay?”

No response.

“Remember you told me about that bunny… stuck in the Undercity. You wanna tell me about it. Maybe we can go down there and get it together.”

Jinx grumbled something unintelligibly.

“It’s a lot more productive than lying here”

“Eh.”

Caitlyn was losing patience. She resisted the urge to kick the door close behind her. Slamming the door would just make it worse.

“Didn’t you tell me just a few days ago that you’d be desperate enough to try it.”

“If it could work. But there’s no logical reason it could work, right?”

“Then I’ll go down there. If you could just tell me where it’s hanging?”

Jinx glared at her for a second or so, as if studying whatever doe-eyed look Caitlyn was giving.

Caitlyn was starting to think it was a stupid idea.

And Jinx affirmed it. She turned her back to Caitlyn. “Don’t bother. Vi probably doesn’t care where it is anyway.”

With nothing else to do but sit around and stare at an unconscious Vi, Caitlyn bothered.

She had invited Jinx one more time, left a box of milk and some fruit, before taking the tram back to the undercity. She knew of the last drop. She knew that Vander came from there, but it was funny that of all things, it had been wandering alone through the streets, searching for a tiny stuffed animal with no leads or locals, that had her learning how big the undercity actually was.

Whatever stuffed bunny Jinx had been talking about was just a tiny splotch wedged between electric lines or clothes lines, and there had been thousands of them, and to go nearer to every one of them and attempt to distinguish between stuffed toy and shadow or stuffed toy and trick of the eye was time consuming.

Vi lived with Vander, Vander owned the shop, but there were just too many wires, too many tubes and too many rough edges that finding the stuffed toy would be like finding a needle in a haystack.

She was five hours in before she gave up.

On the way back topside, she stared at Jericho’s fish shop for a few seconds longer.

“Welcome…” Jericho’s accent was difficult to comprehend, but with a little more focus she got the basics.

“...Violet’s friend!” Shit, he still recognized her.

Apparently, Jericho knew everyone in the undercity. He was just that good at names.

“How’s Violet?”

“She’s fine,” Caitlyn responded.

“Haven’t seen her in a while.”

“Really? You haven’t seen her?”

He put two fingers up. “Two months ago.” If Caitlyn’s timeline was correct, that was around the time Vi joined the fighting pit. Life in the pit must have been busy then, if Vi couldn’t visit her favorite shop.

“Hope she comes back. Miss that kid.”

That sent a stab through Caitlyn’s chest.

“What can I get ya?”

The sight of the food made Cait’ stomach turn, but she was there for a reason.

“What did Vi usually order?”

Jericho gestured towards another patron sucking blue slugs mixed with orange sauce.

That was the slop she remembered. She was just not ready for that.

“Other than that?” Caitlyn asked.

Caitlyn didn’t have to press for answers. Jericho told the story in phases.

Vi, Powder, Vander and the rest of the family had been regulars at Jericho. Vi always ordered the blue slugs, but Powder preferred the toad legs, so just so they could share, Vi would order the toad legs instead.

“She loves the blue slugs.”

Oh, Jericho, how I missed these.

“That could have been genuine relief or happiness. How long had Vi been in prison?

The frog legs had been served in sticks, and Caitlyn was hyper aware that people could have been staring, at how she was separating the leg from the stick, and making makeshift cutlery with the stocks.

She was just not used to it.

Jericho bellowed in laughter. “First time alone in the Undercity?”

The undercity is gonna eat you alive.”

Embarrassingly, that had been her first time in the undercity.

“Vi was so young when we first met her… The blue slug was too spicy… she always ordered the toad legs.”

This is Vi’s childhood. You miss her, right?

She shoved one toad leg into her mouth.

You miss Vi, right? This is Vi.

Jericho had served three servings with two sticks each. Caitlyn didn’t know if she sould be proud that she had eaten all of them. Thankfully the crowd that had been staring at her had dissipated.

As she was packing her things, Jericho dropped a container in front of her, the familiar blue and orange of the slugs swimming inside. “For Violet. Tell her to visit when she can.”

This is Vi.

Caitlyn grinned at Jericho in thanks. “Vi will be back. She didn’t believe it herself, but deceiving herself had seemed like some efficient plan.”

“On the house,” Jericho said.

Jericho didn’t know that Vi probably wasn’t going to eat it, and it didn’t make sense to cheat him of some hard earned money either.

“Please take it.”

“No no. Tell Vi— It’s a gift.

Luckily Vi had taught her a few tricks. Underneath the plate she left more than enough cash.

By the time, he checked it, she’d be long gone.

Within an hour, she was back in the hospital, unwrapping the container of grubs. The odor filled the tiny hospital room quickly. “This was definitely a bad idea.” She sighed. “Just thought maybe smelling the food you missed so much would wake you up, somehow.” Caitlyn said. “But to be honest… I don’t know what else you like to eat. We’ve never been able to just sit down and eat, have we? There was always something happening.”

The large grubs were supposed to be eaten by hand, and bathed in some orange sauce, Caitlyn couldn’t be so sure how to even hold them. She attempted to grab one before it slipped from her grasp. “If you were awake, you’d probably be laughing at me over this, but knowing you, you’d probably be teaching me right after.”

She turned towards the entrance. She could probably request some cutlery and a plate, but the nurses would probably ask that she ate outside. The odor mixed so easily with the antiseptic. Fortunately, it hadn’t been too much of a problem.

“I tried looking for this stuffed bunny your sister told me about…She told me it was your favorite toy.” She lowered her voice to a mumble. “Couldn’t find it. It was like looking for a needle in a haystack.”

She lowered her head, not bothering to brush her hair from her face, as she bent down and attempted one more time to hold the slug between her finger tips. It fell back down on her bowl.

“It’s embarrassing isn’t it? I’m an enforcer yet I can’t even conduct a successful search for a stuffed toy…”

At that point, she had already silently given up on eating. She closed the container by the lid, and placed it neatly back in the plastic bag. She grabbed her tissue, wiped her hands and stared at the white wall just in front of her, her eyes merely glazing over Vi’s prone figure.

That little field trip down to the undercity was supposed to be a distraction, a break from the monotonous routine of going back and forth between Vi’s room and Jinx’s room, but the break had only done her a disservice.

She was spent, and her exhausted body soon gave way to a weight Caitlyn didn’t know she had been carrying. She had pretended too well for too long. Her elbows propped on the table, she buried her face into her hands, and attempted to breathe in and out to some rhythm, before her exhales gave way to heaves, her stiff position to shaking sobs, and her stoic expression soon gave way to tears.

She woke up again in the middle of the night to the rustle of plastic and the grumbling of her own stomach. The bag from Jericho was still there, and she wondered if it would even last the night.

She had never taken the time to think of how long slug dishes could last.

Has Jinx eaten?

She pulled herself up, grabbed the bag by the handle and dragged her heavy body to the other room.

The lights were off, like they always were. The fruit was untouched. The milk carton from that morning unopened.

“Jinx, are you serious about this? You haven’t eaten in days.”

“I’ve survived without food for longer.”

“I have food from Jericho’s”

“Jericho back in the undercity?” JInx paused for a second. “No thanks.”

“How long are you gonna lie there like that?”

“Until I don’t feel like it anymore.”

“If I told you Vi was looking for you?”

There was a pause, the rhythm of the back and forth practically broken.

“Is she?” Jinx asked.

“If she were.”

“So she’s not.”

“Then we wait.”

Kindness didn’t seem to work, and Caitlyn was starting to run out of patience. “If Vi dies, what’s your plan?”

“She’s not gonna die.”

“Jinx, she’s a vegetable. The doctors don’t understand what’s happening. They’ve been talking about giving up.”

Jinx wasn’t responding as freely as she had been a second ago. Her body stiff, as she rolled to the other side, her back towards Caitlyn.

“So what now, Jinx? You’ll go back to the undercity? You’ll help with our cause? You’ll find something else to keep you going.

Silence.

“Or will you just lie around until the nurses kick you out of this hospital? You can’t stay forever.”

Silence.

“Vi’s not your sister, right? You said if she dies, she’s not your sister?”

“She’s not gonna die,” Jinx mumbled again, her voice much weaker than a while ago, as if she didn’t believe either what she’d been saying.

“But the doctors said she’s gonna die, Jinx. Face the music for what it is.”

Face the music for what it is. She told Vi to leave everything to her. This was her mess to fix, but was she really fixing it when she was hesitating every step of the way to even confront Jinx.

For the first time in days, Caitlyn stepped towards the bed, grabbed Jinx by the shoulder, and pulled the latter towards. She slowed as her grip loosened. It was her first time touching Jinx like that, and it turned out, Jinx was much smaller than what she had imagined at first.

“So if she dies, she’s not your sister then?”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Then what did you mean.”

“If she dies, then she isn’t the sister I know. Vi would give up just like that.”

Either Jinx saw through her lie, or she believed just a little too blindly.

For once, JInx was speaking in long coherent sentences. "Vander used to tell me my sister was unbreakable. She'll get beaten, betrayed but she'll always come back in one piece."

"It's a story to help you sleep at night."

"No, it isn't. Vander wouldn't lie about things like this."

"Then explain to me Jinx, why are they talking about Vi like she's already dead?”

Jinx was shaking.

In anger? Or maybe they could have just been untamed muffled sobs.

“Even if Vi’s dead, you'll still be alive. You can choose to rot here until the nurse's kick you out or you can come with me, and we'll get through this together.”

The faster she can push Jinx to acceptance, the better. And if she had to lie to her to get there, so be it.

It could have been a lie, or Caitlyn could have been preempting the truth.

Surprisingly, it had been the lie, or maybe it could have been the slugs that had Jinx sitting up and eating. The nurse called out to her, mentioning a meeting with the doctor.

Caitlyn followed the nurse.

Jinx refused to take part at all.

The doctor was in Vi’s hospital room, hovering over her prone body, his mouth a grim line.

Caitlyn was slow to open the door, allowing every creak to sound and echo into the room. Whatever the conversation would be, she wanted every part of her to be ready.

“You must have relaxed visitation rules for a reason.”

There was a good reason and a bad reason, and just to preempt it, Caitlyn entertained the bad one like it was the only truth.

He took his time although he probably was unaware that to Caitlyn, it was outright torture. Caitlyn used that eternity that followed to study Vi’s features, to trace the faint pink on the apples of her cheeks, and search haplessly for some other signs of life.

“We tried our best to patch it up…”

She expected Vi to go out with a bang. She expected grief and loss to hit like a rampaging bus.

She didn’t expect the utter catatonia, nor did she expect the simple satisfaction, which came with just Vi’s pale yet beautiful face pressing against her face, to remain even after the news had been long accepted.

She was at peace, maybe?

Or it was acceptance.

The doctor cleared his throat, and put one hand over one of the machines pumping oxygen into her system.

God, how was she gonna tell Jinx?

At that point, Jinx could kill Caitlyn, and Caitlyn would find a hundred more reasons not to blame her.

“The damage was all over... It's unsalvageable.”

Caitlyn’s hand cupped over Vi’s cheek had fallen nearer to Vi’s chest, right where her heart should be beating. It pounded against her touch, in time to the beeping of the monitors.

We’re gonna have to—”

Suddenly he was sitting right next to her, his hand hovering over her lip— Then right in front of her, there was a wad of tissue.

“Wha—”

Sadness. Grief. They didn’t hit like a bus, nor did they explode like fireworks. They were soft and subtle like the autumn draft from an open window.

“Ms. Kiramman. It's still progress.”

How?

Grief was like the grey of the undercity, on a quest to strangle any suspecting victim .

“We operate tomorrow.”

“Operate on what?”

Her spleen has completely ruptured. We’re looking at an extremely high infection risk, so we’re gonna have to take out the whole organ.” he continued. “It’s an invasive procedure. With her condition, she might not survive.”

“But you said it's progress?”

“Because it means she’s strong enough for the surgery.”

The surgery was scheduled for early the next morning.

Since she woke up, Caitlyn had been by Vi’s side the whole time, and she intended to be by Vi’s side until they physically pulled her away.

The nurses were in the room long before the time with their clipboards and their pens, scribbling vitals. They wheeled Vi out of the room, then up the elevator, and Caitlyn went for the one detour she’d make. She knocked the door of Jinx’s room.

There was no response.

“You in there? It’s Vi’s surgery today.”

No response.

“If you wanna wait…”

“Hey.” Caitlyn opened the door, and for the first time in a while, the room was empty. The night before, she had told Jinx about Vi’s surgery, Jinx had been silent as she listened. Heck, he could have been asleep.

That morning, maybe she should have been alarmed to see an empty room, but somehow, while others saw it as a missing person, after witness how severely Jinx had spiraled, Caitlyn saw it as progress.

The ‘surgery’ sign lit up in red. The room was empty, and Caitlyn took the seat on the first row, right in front of the surgery sign.

She was ready to bend her head back and stare long and hard until the light went off. The surgeon said it could even take five hours. At that point, the long wait hadn’t been much of an issue. Her long days and nights in the hospital had gotten her used too uncomfortable cricks in her neck.

When her neck ached, she bent it from one side to the other, took a deep breath and continued to warth. For sure, days later, she’d be seeing flashes of red.

“You know, I took a walk outside today.”

Caitlyn jumped on her seat. At first, she could have sworn it had been Vi right next to her, not until she turned to her left and was greeted by purple eyes and a black beanie.

“What the—” She buried her face on her hands. “You came out of nowhere.”

Jinx shrugged. “They’re looking for their commander out there. There’s an officer named Maddie Nolan. She was asking the nurses about you… Then she ended up asking me.”

“Did you tell her anything?”

“No. Vi taught me not to talk to strangers.”

It was definitely a joke, a useless one at that. “I’m serious,” Caitlyn said.

“And I’m telling the truth.”

“Well, if you do take another walk, and run into her, tell her I’m not here, but if she doesn’t believe you, tell her I don’t wanna see her.”

“Talk to the nurses, not me. I’m not your secretary,” Jinx said.

Why did she think it was Vi?

At first impressions, Caitlyn found that they didn’t Admittedly, they sounded alike. They had the same timbre to their voice, the same characteristic burr in their accent, that hinted of the Grey and the undercity. Spending this much time with Jinx, she couldn’t put a finger on a lot of it, but she was more certain how Jinx could have been Vi’s sister.

They sat the same way. They leaned back on the chair the same way, and if there was any difference, it was in the way that Vi always looked at her with fire in her blue eyes.

Anger. Sadness.

Desperation.

Betrayal.

Hell, that catty little smirk that accompanied her when she’d call Caitlyn cupcake carried that same fire, that same life.

“She’ll make it,” Caitlyn said.

She wasn’t so sure herself. She didn’t have that same blind hope she used to, but if it could carry them through the most harrowing parts of this experience, to the turning point that could mean death or life, then she’d say it out loud, and she’d allow herself to look like a fool.

“You said it yourself: She’s unbreakable. She won’t die from something like this.”

Chapter Text

Eight hours.

They had been there for seven hours when the surgery sign finally turned dark. Caitlyn immediately turned to Jinx. The latter turned her nose up at the sign, violet eyes wide with apprehension.

“Hey…” Caitlyn didn’t know whether to call her Powder or Jinx. “Whatever happens…” Her mouth was heavy, trembling. She followed with her eyes as the doctor came out, his gloves caked with blood.

Vi’s blood.

“I hope you understand, we had to make some difficult choices.” he started, as he adjusted his glasses. “Her body was still healing from the stomach wound. It had perforated a few of her organs. We would have liked to wait until she had recovered, but the rupture of her spleen was pretty severe… We had to act immediately.”

Whatever happens, it’s your fault. Caitlyn took a deep breath.

“Her spleen was beyond repair, and we experienced some complications with the nearby organs, we had to partially remove the perforated areas, resection of others…”

Beyond repair.

“I hope you understand. We’re trying as much as possible to keep her alive.”

For the first time, Caitlyn and Jinx were staring, exchanging glances like they were reading each other’s minds, like they understood each other.

But Vi was unbreakable. You said so yourself. I said so myself too.

Vi was unbreakable, or so they believed, and there was no way, the man who had spent hours working on some life-saving procedure could so easily debunk something only she and Jinx would know and only she and Jinx would understand.

But she’ll survive, right?

The doctor let out a sigh of exhaustion, but a sigh of relief. “She has a long road ahead, but she’s stable. Things are looking up, and she might just make it.”

“Might?” Caitlyn asked, as she furrowed her brows.

Jinx spoke for both of them. “ She’s unbreakable. She’ll make it.”

They said that Vi would be waking up soon.

Maybe not within the next 48 hours, but they were weaning her off the sleeping meds, but with the list of restrictions the doctor had listed out. With the nurses, in and out of the ICU more often than before surgery, Caitlyn was starting to realize, maybe she’d prefer that Vi was asleep for a little longer.

Vi wasn’t out of the woods just yet, and maybe she wouldn’t be for a while.

As the days passed, color soon returned to her cheeks. The grease on her hair had been gone for a while, but the pink of her hair somehow seemed brighter than it had been before.

“Peaceful isn’t she? Are we really gonna disrupt it?” Jinx commented, as the nurse talked about weaning her off the sleeping draught.

Caitlyn had brushed it off at first as some thoughtless comment, but Jinx had been right, any rest Vi could get was crucial. With her spleen gone, her body had lost a key part of her immune system and even before she was even aware of it, her body was receiving the brunt of it.

Vi had a fever, and one day, when Jinx had sauntered off to god knows where, and Caitlyn had been alone, Vi whimpered in her sleep.

It could have been delirium accompanying a high fever, or a genuine awakening. Caitlyn didn’t wanna get her hopes up.

“Powder?”

“She’s not here,” Caitlyn said.

“Cait?” Vi’s eyes were only half open as she scanned the room in trepidation.

“Hey, you’re in the hospital.” Caitlyn leaned forward, pressing her hand against Vi’s warm forehead. Some of her bangs, drenched with sweat, had clumped up as tendrils and stuck to her forehead. Caitlyn gently pushed them back and let out a soft hush.

“There’s no way…” Vi spoke in weak whispers as she turned to the door. “There’s no way you’re here.”

“I’m real,” Caitlyn said. “I’m not leaving.”

Vi shook her head. “No…”

“You don’t remember? The battle at the camp?

Vi’s eyes flashed open with comprehension, and when she tried to sit up, Caitlyn had been ready to push her down.

“Easy… We brought you to the hospital up here in Piltover. With the recent battle against Ambessa, we didn’t think it’d be safe to stay in just any clinic there.”

The pain of sitting up, had been enough at least to convince Vi of the gravity of her injury. Her hands though were restless, and a few times Caitlyn had to push her hands back down on the bed.

“They had to do surgery a few times there. Don’t touch it. You might mess with the wound.” At that point, Caitlyn was starting to regret her attempts to keep Vi up to date.

Vi was starting to behave a little more at least, but she was still asking questions. Her voice however had remained a soft weak mumble

God, Caitlyn had missed her. She shushed Vi, placing one hand over her cheek, her thumb pressed over her tattoo then, her fingers a little more limber as they ran over the bruise that had yet to fade.

“Cait… What happened? Are you okay?”

Was it the eyebags, the puffy eyes, or was exhaustion just an aura that seemed to wrap around them.

“That’s the last question I wanna hear from you,” Caitlyn said. “But just for your peace of mind… I’m fine.”

“But your…” Vi’s hands flew towards her face, and it was only when VI lightly pressed on it, did Caitlyn remember.

Right. Only a week ago, Jinx had punched her and scratched her. The wounds were still scabby jagged lines, the bruise was an ugly splotch.

‘Your sister did it’ didn’t seem like the best answer, so Caitlyn settled for an “It’s fine.”

Vi furrowed her brows. “You sure?”

“You should worry more about yourself. I’m not the one lying in the hospital bed with a stomach wound.”

“Did anything happen?”

“We took you up to Piltover?”

“We?”

“Me… and Jinx…”

Understanding dawned on Vi’s features as deep lines mixing with the exhaustion.

Isha. Vi was likely thinking about Isha.

“How is she?”

“Doing better I hope,” Caitlyn said.

Vi’s eyes widened, and suddenly her focus had shifted to something behind Caitlyn.

The door creaked open. “Welcome back to the land of the living, sister.”

“Jinx…” Vi started. She still spoke her name like it was a foreign language. “How are you feeling?”

“Hmmm…” Jinx’s spry tone of a while ago immediately shifted to something a little darker. “Still alive.”

“I’m sorry… I pulled you away.”

“You saved my life.”

“Sorry about Isha.”

“You had a gaping hole in your stomach…” Jinx trailed off, as her eyes ran over Vi’s side, just underneath her thin blanket. “Besides… We would have both died there if we forced it.

Vi groaned, her hands on her stomach. Only when she had sunk lower into her pillows and wrenched her eyes close in pain, did Caitlyn notice she had tried to sit up again. It was a pathetic attempt that hadn’t looked like one at all.

“Lay back down,” Caitlyn chided. “You just had surgery. You shouldn’t even be moving,”

“How long?” Vi said.

“Just two to three days ago.”

“No, not that,” Vi said. “I meant…until I'm out of here. We have to find Vander— We don’t know where Viktor is… and if Ambessa is back in the—-”

“I’m still in charge. Their army is wounded,” Caitlyn said. “We have time. Just relax.”

“It doesn’t mean we’re safe—-”

Caitlyn gripped VI’s wrist hard. “No. You lie in bed and whatever the doctor’s say, you do it. You’re just gonna end up killing yourself if I let you run around like a headless chicken.”

Jinx sprung up from her seat. “Why even wait for her to run amok?” She walked towards Vi’s bed, and with no warning, jammed the nurse’s call button.

“Wait.. what?” Vi winced in pain, before she could finish her sentence.

“You’re in pain, aren’t you?” Jinx asked, looking pointedly towards the IV stand by Vi’s bed.

Pain lines

The IV drip was almost empty.

The nurse had explained a while back that it was pain killers.Yet, despite on a full bag, Vi was unable to sit up.

“Cait—” Vi started.

Caitlyn hushed. “You’re not invincible, Vi. Just rest for a bit.”

As a doctor and two nurses entered, Caitlyn and Jinx were ushered out of the room.

Caitlyn kept an eye on Vi whose eyes were darting too quickly in different directions, who was gripping the rails so tightly, as she searched the room, before her eyes rested on Caitlyn’s, on the other side of the glass.

Seeing Vi struggling with such a foreign environment had been unnerving to say the least.

“So Vi’s not invincible, but she’s unbreakable?” Jinx asked, an attempt to break the unsettling silence or just to make some conversation.

“‘Unbreakable is your line, right?”

“But you agreed,” Jinx said.

Caitlyn shrugged. “The doctor said so herself, her body’s broken. We can't say Vi counts as unbreakable anymore, can we?"

It must have been a joke.

No, it was probably a joke.

Vi was finally off her all-liquid diet and in her medicine-induced delusion, she asked for a cupcake of all things.

Caitlyn approached it as a simple straightforward exchange. No double entendres. No innuendos.

She’d save whatever meaning behind that subtle smirk for sometime in the future when Vi could sit up for more than a few minutes at a time.

“You want one?” She turned to Jinx, who had been staring at a display only a shelf away.

“I won’t say no to a free cupcake. Are you gonna get one for yourself?”

“No, I’ve had more than enough of these…” Caitlyn said.

Nadia was helping out at the store that day, and Caitlyn didn’t even realize that the little girl had been in one corner fiddling with a bow, not until it was right in front of them, and Nadia gave Jinx the most toothy grin.

“It’s my favorite flavor.”

Jinx returned that grin, with a slightly smaller one. “Thanks.” The cupcake inside was dark brown with a caramel brown crown of frosting, and Jinx’s grin slightly widened at the edges.

“So I guess I won’t have to buy you one.”

“I said I won’t say no to free cupcakes.”

Caitlyn shrugged. “Well, two cupcakes is still way too much sugar.”

In the end, she still bought three anyway, and with Nadia’s gift, they had four in total. That last fudge cupcake by Nadia though was one they opted to try immediately.

“It has melted fudge inside… so it’ll taste a lot better warm.”

And what better way to taste warmth, then by sitting on a cold bench while letting the autumn breeze seep into her skin. The leaves were already a bright orange, the only sign as to how long they had been too occupied to ever observe how inevitable the passage of time was.

“Has it been a week already?”

“It’s been more than a week” Jinx paused in thought “...Almost two weeks since we arrived here which means…it’s been two weeks since…” She leaned back on the bench, and she probably could have fallen deeper back, and hit her head, if it hadn’t been for how quickly she caught herself, the palms of her hands, pushing her back up on the chair.

Her eyes were unfocused. Her ashen complexion and the dark circles under her eyes were more prominent under natural sunlight. Jinx also seemed… smaller.

So small, that Caitlyn thought twice before propping one hand on Jinx’s shoulder. There wasn’t a smart way to respond. Still, she had been curious and concerned enough to want to know, and she had been meaning to ask Jinx eventually.

But that was something Vi would have probably been better at doing, and that’s why she held back.

But if she brings it up… One thing she didn’t expect was to be at the receiving end of Jinx calmly explaining her feelings to her. “Why bring it up now with me…” Caitlyn asked.

“Because… Isha likes fudge,” Jinx answered matter-of-factly “We used to get whatever leftovers the bakeries here in Piltover would throw into the Zone after a long day of work. We’d segregate the good ones from the bad ones, and Isha would always look for the fudge cakes.”

“But why…. Why talk to me about this?”

“Because you’re here. You’re the one who invited me out for a cupcake. You were always asking me how I was… so I thought you’d be okay listening— but you know, never mind, you don’t have to..”

“No… that’s not what I meant. I meant… I’m okay listening to this… it’s just— didn’t think you’d want to open up to me of all people. Didn’t even think you’d be the type to open up about it.”

“In an ideal world, I’d be telling this to Isha.” Jinx admitted. “But when she’s gone… and I wanna talk to someone about it…, who else do I talk to, and if I can’t find someone to talk to about it, do I just pretend everything never happened? Do I just pretend I’ve never felt this way? Do I brush it off?”

“Vi would probably be a better listener than I would.”

“She’s either delirious with a fever or asleep. It’s never the right time.”

So instead, you tell her girlfriend, who tried to kill you and who also tried to kill her ?

Admittedly, they were stuck together, and they were desperate, but somehow, it felt wrong to be sitting by Jinx’s side, playing big sister when it was Vi who had wanted to be the big sister to Jinx for so long.

“Hey, when she gets better, I’d rather you tell her.” Caitlyn held the bag of cupcakes by the handle and propped it on her lap. She reached into the bag feeling for the cardboard box at the top, with the polka dotted ribbon. The box was still warm to the touch, but the autumn chill was biting. If she was any slower, the cupcake might just turn cold. She dropped the box on Jinx’s lap and reached for the fork.

“If she wants to hear it,” Jinx clarified.

Caitlyn handed the fork to Jinx. “Of course, she does.”

“If it’s the right time…If I feel like it, I will…” Jinx’s answer deadened into unintelligible mumbles, and for a while, both of them were silent. Caitlyn was staring straight ahead, counting leaves on the trees, toying with a type of guilt she wondered if she should have been carrying in the first place.

Somehow, she felt primarily responsible for the rift between the sisters, and she entertained the likelihood that maybe the past two weeks had made it worse.

The squelch of pastry, the sound of hard plastic hitting cardboard were faint and easily overpowered by the rustle of leaves just above. She thought it almost commonplace, or expected. Jinx after all, was supposed to be eating the cupcake.

When she turned to her side though, she found, the cupcake was no longer there, but at the same time, it was still there. The caramel filling was peeking at the edges of the cupcake, and the cupcake— or whatever was left of it—- resembled a formless blob more than an actual cake.

One thing Caitlyn caught on to quickly: “Have you taken a bite at least?”

“I tried.”

“Tried?”

“I couldn’t bring myself to.”

“You don’t like fudge.”

“I don’t,” Jinx said.

“You should have told me a while ago…”

“But Isha liked Fudge.”

“But you’re the one eating. Why would you ask for something just because it’s Isha’s favorite?”

Jinx pouted. “Don’t lecture me like you’re the most logical person here. You’re the one who went all the way to Jericho’s in the undercity and bought Vi a bowl of slugs when she wasn’t even awake enough to try it.”

Caitlyn didn’t even expect blood to rush to her face so quickly. “Wait you…” She would have liked to argue that hers and Jinx’s were two completely different scenarios.She would have liked to point out that eating that slop had been for Vi, more than it had been for anyone else.

But maybe, Jinx could have been right.

Jinx glared at her accusingly. “Why else would a rich kid from the topside buy undercity slop?”

“So you ate it?”

“Where else did you think it went?”

“The nurses could have cleaned it up. Besides, at that point, you hadn’t eaten in days, so I didn't expect that---”

“I’ve survived for longer without food,” Jinx said with a shrug. “Besides, it was a bit of an exception. Getting to taste Jericho’s food again was comforting. The fudge... then the food you left... they reminded me of simpler times, and sometimes the only way to relive those moments is to pretend they’re still there and to order the chocolate fudge even when I can’t stand the taste of it.” She turned to Caitlyn. "...as pathetic as it is.” She added.

“Maybe I'm just as pathetic.” Caitlyn said. Of all memories, it had been scouring the undercity for half a day to search for a bunny hanging from clothesline that had blood rushing to her face. She would have liked the bench to swallow her where she sat.

Although they had spent a lot of time together, the circumstances that had them alone and just a little more talkative were few and far in-between. Their conversations in the hospital had been mostly logistics or they would indulge in complete silence in some attempt to recuperate after the sleepless nights of the previous week.

That peaceful afternoon was soon interrupted by the sound of heels against concrete, as nurses ran her direction.

“It’s Vi.” One of them said, almost out of breath. “She needs you.”

Was she back in intensive care?

Was she back in surgery?

Was she okay?

A few minutes later. he questions were all answered before her in such an anticlimactic manner, in the form of Vi’s sleeping figure, looking peaceful, the nurses panic of a while ago seemed almost like a prank.

“We had to sedate her. She was having nightmares… kept pulling all the tubes off…”

Since Vi’s surgery, it had become almost habit for Caitlyn to feel Vi’s forehead any time there was a change in her demeanor. Fevers were almost expected after spleen removal, and the recurring infections had been a big part of the reason why— despite Vi’s protests— they could not discharge her.

Caitlyn sighed. She hadn’t even told Jayce or Maddie about what had gotten her so preoccupied since she arrived in Piltover, but soon, these past few weeks would seem like nothing more than a hazy nightmare.

Slowly she was getting back to work as Commander. It would start with a meeting a week, to two, then soon, she’d have to be in the office every day.”

“Jinx, you don’t have to pressure yourself to stay. We can always delay the meetings until next week, or even next month. Noxus is going to need months to recover after the battle in the camp. Besides, none of the houses have even fielded any candidates for councilor replacements.”

“No. Get back to work,” Jinx said. “You forget, I can stay here and take care of her. She’s my sister after all.”

The progress the houses were making in appointing heads and councilors were slow going at least. Only an hour later, her father had forwarded a letter to the hospital postponing the appointment meeting to two weeks after.

And Jinx grabbed the first opportunity to leave. “Just for the weekend,” she clarified.

Caitlyn didn’t really mind. A weekend by Vi’s side would be a weekend well spent, especially since when the council got underway, Caitlyn might not have any more time with Vi.

“Where are you going?” Caitlyn asked as Jinx was on the way out.

“Treasure hunting,” Jinx answered.

“Where?”

“Wherever the treasure can be found…”

Jinx seemed in a hurry. She was gone even before Caitlyn could even clarify what that it was.

It was Friday evening and Caitlyn was left in the hospital room with three intact cupcakes and one ruined fudge cupcake.

“Your cupcake’s gonna get cold… Vi?” And for a good few moments, she said fuck it to all the rules she had learned about manners. She made sure to rustle the plastic as she slammed it on the wooden bedside table. She borrowed a few plates from the nurse’s station and a few pieces of metal cutlery, making sure to line the cutlery up on the saucer with a little less finesse than she was used to.

She emptied the cupcake box into the saucer ruining the frosting in the process, making sure to rustle the plastic and throw it into the rubbish bin with a thump.

Somehow, that had Vi turning in her sleep, but not enough to wake her up.

“I wanna talk to you, but I want you to sleep. Call me conflicted,” Caitlyn mumbled, mostly to herself.

The first signs of Vi waking up had been the slow and awkward way she had propped her left hand against the railings. Caitlyn had been watching every slight movement of Vi’s like a hawk that that something as groundbreaking as that, had her almost jumping in her seat.

“So you don’t want the company, do you?” Vi whispered, her voice a rasp.

“But you need to sleep”

“I’d rather be awake.”

“I’d rather your condition doesn’t get worse,” Caitlyn said. “Your fevers have been on and off this past week.”

“I’ve survived worse in the undercity.”

“And you almost died of unchecked internal bleeding.”

“Still not worth it… Whatever they have me on… It gets me all loopy.”

The way that Vi had settled for such a hapless retort was sign enough. Caitlyn had won the argument before it had even started. And she went for the coup de grâce“Well, if you’re going to fight them and risk reopening your wounds then maybe sedating you was the smart move.”

Vi took a deep but ragged breath and stared back up at the ceiling. “It’s either the fever… or the drugs they have me on. It brought me back to the pit.You and Jinx… You were both gone— I…” Vi sighed, as she fidgeted once more on the bed. “I— I just dreamed I was back in the fighting pit…. Back on the floor— no, Back to sleeping in the quarters– and there were trespassers, I had to fight.”

“You’re not there anymore.”

“I was there for long enough.”

Caitlyn didn’t even notice how subtly Vi’s had moved towards her, not until it was gripping her hand so tightly, it almost hurt.

Almost.

Vi was still far from a full recovery.

“It was dangerous, you know,” Caitlyn started. “The doctors said, a lot of your other injuries what they had to fix was from the abdominal trauma you got from whatever arena you joined in the undercity. Back then in the pit, they didn’t let you rest, did you?”

“We had a rest day every two weeks…”

“There’s a reason activities like that aren’t sanctioned in Piltover.”

“Yes, instead of dying in boxing pits, people from the undercity should die from starvation or gassing, huh?”

Even with her fever, Vi hadn’t lost her crass humor. Caitlyn shook her head in surrender. “Just know, you almost died, and if you did, I wouldn’t know what to do. Jinx wouldn't know what to do either. We’d be lost ducks… No, I’d be a lost… mongoose.”

Vi was smiling again, albeit weakly, this time her hand was gripping Caitlyn’s a little harder “Hey… even if it’s just for the night, could you stay?”

“I’ll stay..” Caitlyn pulled her hand slowly from VI’s weak grasp. Vi had more scars than before. She had scars that ran from one side of her hand to the other. Her hands had always felt like sandpaper, but this time they were rougher. They bristled against her touch.

There was a deep line that ran through her lips, touching the middle of her chin. Caitlyn could have sworn it hadn’t been there before.

Whatever they had her doing in the pit had changed Vi, even if these changes were too minute, too sporadic to ever paint a bigger picture. One thing was for sure, none of this would have happened if Caitlyn hadn’t pushed her away. She should have been the one to protect Vi.

She leaned forward on the bed, pressing her forehead on the back of Vi’s hand. Her hands smelled of a mix of antiseptic and sweat, but those hands were still Vi’s. She only realized then how long it had been since she’s last touched them, when her body seemed to shudder as Vi curled his fingers, her jagged nails gently brushing against Caitlyn’s forehead.

Vi’s breathing slowed again, into an almost relaxing pace.

“Vi, you asleep?”

No response.

“I’ll stay.”

And she would like to have promised for the day after tomorrow too and then the day after that, but she decided that these were the types of promises she’d rather show than tell.

It was Sunday, and Jinx wasn’t back yet.

Jinx had said that she’d be gone the whole weekend, and Caitlyn trusted her enough not to hurry her. Jinx was as concerned about Vi as she was, but with no way to contact her, Caitlyn could only stand helplessly by as the nurses placed a cold towel over her head, replaced the IV bag with some new antibiotic.

“Powder…” Vi muttered under her breath. “Powder… Come back…I’m sorry…”

“Powder?” The nurse asked. Her fingers had been on Vi’s IV line the past few minutes,

“Her sister,” Caitlyn explained.

It was a nightmare.

Vi’s eyes were shut tight, her teeth were gritting, Her hands shut tight, nails digging into her palms.

The beeping of the thermometer sounded, and Caitlyn couldn’t wait for the news. She was watching the nurse the whole few seconds as the nurse shook her head and tsk-ed.

“How is it?”

If it hits 40, it’s sepsis. We take her back to the ICU.”

The doctor hadn’t given a release date, and whatever timeline Caitlyn had in her head seemed to fly out the window with every development.

So she can just die?

"Ms. Kiramman, she isn’t out of the woods just yet. She lost her spleen. Since she’s immuno-compromised…"

They mentioned a concept called ‘sepsis.” If the wounds didn’t kill her, it would be a systemic infection that could shut down her whole body, which had been a reason they were hesitant to let her leave.

Had the nurses and the doctors even mentioned it to Vi. Did Vi know the gravity of how big the loss was?

Apparently, hospital-acquired infections were common. With Vi, coming up with a new fever every day, it was starting to feel like everything could cause an infection.

That night, when Vi fell asleep, and the nurses took over, Caitlyn found an opening out of the room. She grabbed her overnight bag, showered at the nurse’s quarters and changed to a fresh pair of clothes. It had been a habit to scrub her hands twice, when washing her hands, but that time, she counted five times, then she decided it wasn’t clean enough.

She counted ten rounds, until her hands were starting to twitch at the cold tap and the half a bottle’s worth of soap. She grabbed antibacterial gel on the way out and she grabbed a mask from the nurse’s station.

Vi was awake when Caitlyn got back in the room. “When will I get to leave? The doctors can’t even give a proper answer.”

Caitlyn sighed. “Did the doctors or nurses ever tell you what happened?”

“They tried to explain it,” Vi clarified.

“Did you understand it?”

“When the nurses gave an easier explanation. They had to remove an organ, and now I have stitches and a hole on my side, from where it used to be, and a stern warning to be careful of infections for the rest of my life.”

“They took out your spleen,” Caitlyn clarified. “It was swollen and bruised, and during the battle at the camp, it ruptured… and it almost killed you, if loss of blood from a stab wound didn’t, maybe the infection would have…” She was beating around the bush, more than she would have liked. She had to get herself together. “Did they tell you why it happened?”

Vi was still talking to her, so likely no.

Vi shook her head. “To be honest, understanding the medical jargon behind it is the least of my problems.” She seemed uninterested, and she had channeled her focus elsewhere, particularly to a piece of dirty tape at the back of her hand. “God, I can’t wait to have this out.”

“You’re still running a fever, and they have to monitor it… Besides while we’re in the hospital—”

“Where’s my sister? Haven’t seen her in a while.”

“So you’re not gonna listen?” Caitlyn raised one eyebrow in challenge

Vi sighed. “If you’re gonna talk to the doctors for me, you know what I’d pick. Just pump me with drugs and I go home.”

Caitlyn had almost forgotten. A restless Vi is a cranky Vi.

Also, hadn’t Jinx mentioned it, Vi hated hospitals.

Vi was in a bad mood. It was obvious, by how violently she was scratching at the tape on her wrist, and when Caitlyn reached out to stop her, Vi brushed her away.

“They just need to monitor your condition–-”

“Until… when? I can’t stay here forever. What can they do here that they can’t do at your home, Cait?”

There had been a lot. Even before Vi woke up, the doctor had been mentioning something about vaccines, which turned out hadn’t been available to a majority of the undercity. Apparently, Vi needed vaccines and antibiotics for the rest of her life to survive.

“Until the doctor tells you you can leave.”

“Then why can’t he give an answer, Cait?”

“Because… it’s a complex case. You almost died. “

“And I’ve almost died countless times before. I’ve been stabbed in the gut, punched in the head, beaten until I was coughing up blood, and I’ve survived every single one of them, and now the doctors are telling me I’m gonna have to be careful for the rest of my life, because apparently, even a paper cut is enough to kill me.”

“Vi… they’ll explain it.”

“They tried. I don’t get it. We don’t have these same fancy treatments back home.”

“I’ll explain it.”

“Then explain it to me, now.”

Caitlyn’s breath caught at her throat and she found herself unable to speak, or admittedly, she had nothing to say at all.

There must be a better way to explain it. She could probably ask the doctor for advice on how to break it to Vi, but there were parts of it— major parts of it, Caitlyn would have to figure out on her own.

“I’m waiting…” Vi said.

“I don’t understand it well myself… so if you could just give me sometime to—”

“Clearly you understand it more than I do.”

Caitlyn was paralyzed where she sat, and suddenly she found herself, shifting her attention completely. Instead of looking at Vi, she had suddenly found interest in the box of cupcakes that had yet to be eaten.

“Caitlyn.” Something in Vi’s eyes changed. She cocked her head to the side in suspicion. “Are you hiding something?”

Caitlyn bit her lip and shook her head. “I hope not.”

“You know… if I’m gonna be stuck in this bed , being poked every hour like you’re some sort of pin cushion until god knows when… It would be nice to know why… or you know… I could break out here myself.”

“Vi, one infection can kill you.”

“It won’t.”

“Do we take the chance?”

“Your sister won’t forgive me either if I let you die like this.”

Despite everything, Vi had a soft spot for her sister. The fiery anger of a while ago mellowed to something more reminiscent of cinder in a fireplace.

“Jinx is in on it.”

“She wasn’t the one talking to the doctors, but she understands enough.”

Vi leaned back on the bed, and pressed herself deeper into the pillows beneath her. “Why’re you wearing a mask? Is the air toxic? Am I contagious?”

“No. It’s a measure to protect you, not me.”

Comprehension and confusion, two opposing emotions had somehow manifested in Vi’s face, particularly in her crumpled brows and her half open mouth. “How bad is it? You’re telling me that after surviving years in the underground, and years in the city, suddenly, I’m weak enough that I have to be protected by topsiders."

“For now… while you recover.”

“They mentioned medicines, Caitlyn. Apparently whatever shit they’re pumping into my veins, I’m gonna be taking these for the rest of my life…” Vi was vulnerable, and she was desperate. Even after Caitlyn looked away, from her peripherals she could see Vi following her gaze as she crossed to the other side of the room.

Caitlyn had become a little more adept at reading Vi, and the look Vi was giving her then, Vi was begging Caitlyn to prove her wrong.

Caitlyn situated herself in some uncomfy chair on the far side of the room, and even before she dozed off, she knew she had resigned herself to a very uncomfortable awakening.

And she had been right. The nurses entered the room early the next morning, and Caitlyn was awakened by whispers, and by the muffle groans as Vi was awakened early that morning for a quick temperature check.

Caitlyn was tired enough to fall immediately back to sleep, and maybe she would have, if it hadn’t been for her aching neck and her left leg which was starting to fall asleep.

“It’ll just take a min—”

“No more!”

There was a clatter then the shattering of glass.

“Vi?” Caitlyn croaked.

The nurse bent over, and carefully gathered the broken shards. “Should I leave you two to talk?”

“Please,” Caitlyn said.

“Cait, can I tell you something?”

“Tell me.” Her heartbeat reverberated across her whole body, even her ears were pounding incessantly.

“It feels like Stillwater again.”

Of all things, Caitlyn’s first thought had been the irony of it. When they first met, she had been the one to break her out of Stillwater, and then and there, with her own actions, she had forced Vi back into a prison.

“Vi…” It was hard to breathe. It was also hard to speak. “Do you want me to stay here with you?”

“I feel like I wanna be alone first.”

How much of it had Vi figured out?

She was with the doctors, with the nurses, and Vi wasn’t stupid. She had probably noted the pain at her side, then she had probably thought all the way back to their fight at the temple.

With her mind running in all directions, Caitlyn couldn’t keep anything down. She settled for a plain black coffee, and had particularly requested the strongest one, something to match whatever sullen mood she had found herself in.

Caffeine wasn’t doing anything for her that day.

Four in the morning so quickly became six, Caitlyn couldn’t even remember experiencing the gradual change of the view out the window from pitch black to lush green.

“Rise and shine, cupcake.”

It wasn’t Vi. She had been thinking nonstop about Vi since she had left the hospital room, that she could spot a shoddy imitation from a while away.

Still, the voice was terribly familiar.

“Jinx?”

“Thought I could prank your sleepy ass,” Jinx said, as she sat in front of her on the table. “How’s my sister?”

“I’m surprised you didn’t go straight there yourself.”

“I tried. Nurses wouldn’t let me.’

“Why?”

“Told them I just came back from the undercity, and that I came back with a treasure.”

“Treasure?”

Jinx plopped a shabby bunny on the table. “I found it in the factory ruins, right where I left it.”

“You— you had Vi’s bunny the whole time? You said she never got it back?”

Jinx cocked her head to the side in confusion. “Did I say that? I said a lot has changed since then—-” She shrugged. “Well surprise, surprise, she gave it to me.”

Caitlyn rolled her eyes. It was too early in the morning to be gaslit by Jinx.

It was Vi’s bunny, as what was made clear by the words Violet stitched on her left ear. She held the bunny in her hands, and gently caressed the ears, and pulled lightly at the legs. She couldn’t bring herself to push or pull any harder. One wrong pull and it could break at the seams.

Still, she completely understood why Jinx hadn’t been let in.

The bunny was filthy. Caitlyn couldn’t even make out if the bunny had been originally pink, white or hell, even gray. It was another infection waiting to happen, and the nurses’ strict prohibition against Jinx entering was a reasonable certainty she should have foreseen.

“Let’s go to my place.”

“Why?”

“Will have our servants clean the bunny up.”

“We can just clean it ourselves.”

“Nope, I don’t trust myself…” Caitlyn said. “Besides, after all that time in the undercity, you’ll need a bath.”

Naturally, it had offended Jinx at first, very apparent by the wounded look Jinx had given her.

“They won’t let you in, otherwise,” Caitlyn said.

That had been enough at least to have Jinx following behind as they exited the hospital.

There was something Caitlyn had wanted to ask Jinx, since Jinx first appeared in front of her in the hospital cafeteria. The question was like the tide at the beach, receding and overflowing from her mind at some predictable intervals.

When Caitlyn believed she was ready to ask it, she’d eventually decide against it, and every few minutes, when hse had mustered the confidence, there had been just too many people around her.

From the hospital cafeteria to the market streets of Piltover on a Monday morning.

So she held onto the burning question the whole walk back to her house.

Jinx had prattled on and on about how someone had ruined her tea party set up. How somehow, she had to dig through ruins to find it.

Which explained the two day trip.

But Caitlyn’s mind was far from there. What’s done was done. They had the stuffed bunny. She handed it to her servants, and brought Jinx to her room.

“Woah, so Vi has been here before?”

“A few times,” Caitlyn said. Have you?

She bit her tongue before she could say. That was a stupid question, Jinx has been there before. Strangely, the JInx she was talking to then, and the Jinx who had kidnapped her almost a year ago, seemed like two different people.

“Brings back memories,” Jinx said, as she ripped of her hat and plopped down on Caitlyn’s bed. Caitlyn made a mental note to her request for her servants to change the sheets.

Caitlyn closed the door, then the windows, and she felt safe enough.

It was just the two of them, and almost immediately, the question resurfaced begging to be asked.”

“Jinx… I just wanna know, ” Caitlyn started. “Did you tell Vi about me hitting her with the butt of my rifle?”

“About what?” Jinx said.

“About what the doctor’s said, that aftereffects… like the…” Caitlyn hovered both hands over the left side of her stomach, the same exact place Vi’s scar would have been.

Jinx had seen Vi hover her own hand over the surgical wound as she had been recovering. She knew what Caitlyn was talking about. She furrowed her brows in confusion. “Wait, you haven’t told her yet?”

Chapter Text

“So, you’re scared to tell, Vi?”

Jinx was definitely judging her.

“So you didn’t tell her anything?” Caitlyn pressed.

“No?” JInx spat. “Vi was asleep half the time when you left me with her. She could barely keep a conversation with me about the weather, and you think I have the time to tell on you?

Caitlyn had been paranoid, and in retrospect, she had definitely looked stupid. She looked away, as she felt blood rush to her cheeks. “It’s just…. I feel like this is something I should be telling her. After all, everything that’s been happening to her was my fault.”

Jinx lay back down on Caitlyn’s bed. “You don’t have to tell me twice. So how long are we gonna be here? I don’t mind taking a few more hours to sleep on this schmancy bed. Is Vi expecting us back?”

“She told me she wanted to be alone.”

Jinx groaned. “Another lover’s quarrel?” She rolled over on the side of the bed, and gave Caitlyn an accusatory look. “Why? Lemme guess, coz Vi can tell you're hiding something?”

Are you hiding something?

I—I hope not.

Jinx was surprisingly astute when it came to Vi-isms, despite the long years those two sisters had spent away from each other.

The exchange replayed in Caitlyn’s mind, once then twice, and Caitlyn was tempted to throw herself off her balcony in utter shame at such a shitty attempt to deflect the conversation.

“Oooh, now that’s something I can hold over my sister’s girlfriend. You just don’t have the years of experience I had with my sister.” Jinx waved her hands in front of her in mock emphasis. “Vi hates it when people lie to her.”

“She never seemed like the type… Like I’ve seen her lie in the brothel—-”

Jinx hummed in thought. “Maybe to a random passerby, Vi would probably lie, but you know, when we were growing up, we used to fight a lot. My sister’s hot headed, she’ll scream at me, she’s even punched me once, but the only times VI’s gotten really mad at me, as in not talk to me for days mad? Probably the few times I lied to her.”

Jinx held her hand in front of her

She raised her pinky first. “There was this one time I was being bullied and the bullies threw all my toys into the river. Told my sister I’d lost them. ”

Then she raised her ring finger. “There was that one time I didn’t tell Vi or Vander that my elbow was swelling after I fell into a ditch. Turned out it was a broken elbow, and—”

Caitlyn sighed. “Okay, I get your point. There’s no need for any more anecdotes.”

“What a waste really, the next finger was gonna be the middle finger you shot off. Could have definitely come up with a good pun.”

“Look if you're not gonna get to the point—”

“The point is… everytime we made up, I was in for that same lecture from my big sister,” Jinx said.

“Look Powder! I’m angry because it hurts that you don’t trust me!”

Caitlyn had to stifle a laugh at the way Jinx had wrinkled her nose and widened her eyes, while mimicking Vi’s intonation to a T.

They were definitely sisters.

Yet.

Jinx was her sister. Of course they’d find a way to make up.

How important was Caitlyn Kiramman to Vi? She was an enforcer. They had only known each for a week, then she rode some romantic high, they kissed, but Caitlyn had quickly betrayed her.

But had that even been a break up? Was there anything to break?

Really, who was she to Vi? Caitlyn continued. “She’s gonna hate me more when she finds out I caused everything. If I’m going to risk ending this relationship, I at least wanna be able to do it on my own terms.”

Jinx grunted, as she pulled herself up so her back was on the headboard of Caitlyn’s bed. “Well, I don’t even think Vi would consider hating someone over that.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“You know…” JInx started. “Despite my sister’s macho, I-can-take-on-red-brambleback-in-the-jungle type of attitude, she’s a softie. Way too nice for her own good.”

“She’s your sister, of course you’d think that.”

Jinx raised one eyebrow. “Really?” She raised one arm high up and pointed down at herself in emphasis. “You have mass murderer and war criminal Jinx here, and for some reason, my sister still pulled me back when I ran to my death to save Isha.”

It wasn’t just that. Vi never wanted to join the enforcers in the first place. She had pressured Vi into it, and if it hadn’t been for the attack on her the councilors’ memorial…

Caitlyn lowered her head in surrender. “Now that I think about it, I don’t think Vi was ever capable of killing you. I feel like she only joined enforcers because…”

“Because of you maybe? But I thought about it too, you know. I watched Vi in the undercity, fighting with all those big burly men. My sister has mad aim. She’s got quick reflexes and back and in the pit, she’s actually gotten people unconscious in one punch. She was pretty popular among the betters. I even bet on her myself.”

You joined an illegal betting pool and bet on your own sister? Unable to hide the judgment in her face, Caitlyn looked away.

Jinx didn’t seem to notice, at least, too busy cleaning out the dirt underneath her fingernails “Then I thought about my fight with Vi back in the temple and how she kept missing these same punches. She punched once or twice, but sure, they were jarring, but all they left were bangs and bruises, And I couldn’t help but think, if Vi was fighting with that same fire she fought in the other city with, I could have probably died with one punch. If Vi wanted me dead, I’d be dead.” Jinx fell back down on the bed, and the shadow of the canopy of the bed obscured Caitlyn’s view of her expression. Jinx spoke again And you know what the sad part about it is?”

A pang rose in Caitlyn’s chest, and she swallowed the knot in her throat. “The bathroom is open. Just go in and shower already.”

“You sure you don’t wanna hear it?”

“I feel like I know what you wanna say already,” Caitlyn said.

“Okay.” Jinx pulled herself up and walked towards the bathroom door.

“You need a towel.”

“Cait, I’ve been here before. I think I know where the towels are already.”

Of course she did. Just the mention of it brought back bitter memories of being rudely abducted in her own bathroom. Still, it felt like a memory from a different dimension and a different aeon, and she quickly expunged it as she and Jinx made eye contact.

As she had learned over those past weeks, there were things she and Jinx with just a knowing glance at one another.

I was ready to kill her.

We both were. Caitlyn whispered this last part to herself.

When Caitlyn was sure she was alone, she opened her wardrobe, the third dresser from the top was where she kept her enforcer-issued rifle. She held it, weighing it with one hand, and she positioned it over the left side of her body.

It had been a simple thought experiment more than a reckless attempt. Caitlyn had been slow and gentle as she touched the rifle against her chest just hard enough to have her chest shaking. She doubled over, coughed, and practically gagged her meager breakfast of coffee.

She was barely at 5% her actual strength. Once again, she held the gun, closed her eyes, and imagined that it was just the two of them, back in the ruins of the temple.

Then why are you the one acting like her?

It would be impossible to replicate. The fury from back then, the anger and confusion at losing her mother—- everything that propelled her to lunge her gun behind her was sui generis

The rifle was light when she held it up to shoot, but when she wanted to push it behind her to understand her own strengths, it started to weigh heavy over her palms.

And when she tried to hold it, just hovering a few inches over her life, and when she tried to let go and hit, she couldn’t.

Even when she willed her body to stay, it was like her left side had sensed the danger and recoiled at the slightest movement.

The first thing, any human would learn about survival: No body would allow itself to get hurt, even if the person wills otherwise, the body will still aim for self preservation above all else.

My sister’s too kind. She’s too trusting.

That’s where human instinct came from, that natural drive for self preservation, and Vi had had enough years living in the undercity and in prison to build just that.

My sister has mad reflexes.

She’s a featherweight champion. If she were quick enough to dodge punches in the undercity, enough to be declared champion, she should have been quick enough to recoil at the threat of a gun lunging behind her, aiming for her gut. She could have dodged that if she had seen it coming.

If she had seen it coming.

“How could you not have seen it coming?” Caitlyn whispered through gritted teeth

My sisters's too trusting.

Why are you the one acting like her? Vi’s desperate voice sounded in Caitlyn’s head.

But did Vi at all expect that day to end with the blunt end of the gun smack against her gut?

Or did Vi expect that argument in the ruins to end with some peaceful compromise?

It should’ve. Maybe if it did, Caitlyn wouldn't have been looking at the past six months as anathema.

Maybe at the end of the day, Vi had just trusted Caitlyn wouldn’t hurt her.

Then why are you the one acting like her? Vi’s voice echoed again in her mind, and it could have echoed for all eternity if she let it. Her memories of the incident were vivid. All five senses were at high alert.

Everything from the way Vi pulled at her arm, and gripped tightly as if she had no plans of letting Caitlyn, from the way her slid down Caitlyn’s wrist, and how Caitlyn channeled all her emotion into one strong blow.

Which months later, she couldn't seem to replicate.

Hell, she could have sworn the rifle had been much lighter then.

Caitlyn flung her gun back into the dresser with a satisfying thump, with little regard for any scratches she may have caused. She slammed the door of her dresser shut and jumped back onto her bed.

At that point, she’d rather Vi stayed angry. She didn’t deserve her.

Caitlyn needed to go for a walk, anything to take her mind of that memory in that temple, which kept replaying and replaying…

She considered going all the way out, but she didn’t want to run into anyone either. As she exited her room, she lingered for a moment at the entrance, her eyes scanning the wing at the other end.

The wing she never had much time to go to, nor did she have much business in.

Kiramman manor had changed somehow since the last time she had been there.

Caitlyn didn't notice it at first, instead she lightly attributed it to the change of seasons or to the routine cleaning that came with it.

Her own curiosity had her going the opposite side of her room and down to the opposite wing, rudely reminded of how much things could actually change by a pile of boxes, so tall they touched the ceilings, so wide, Caitlyn had to maneuver her way through tiny gaps to get to the other side.

And these boxes, they weren’t there before.

Caitlyn froze on her tracks.

“There's now way… no way…”

Why had it taken her more than a few seconds to figure it out?

Some quick maths and Caitlyn should have known, it's been more than half a year.

Tobias Kiramman had been left with the harrowing task of going through her mother's affects and only a week after her death, he had shared to her his to-do list.

I start with the study. Then the bedroom…

One month in, and her mother’s study in the first floor was reduced to a showroom stripped of any of its original character and before they had been moved, boxes were littered just outside the door, a tripping hazard for any unsuspecting bystander.

Then her mother’s personal library was next.

Anything you wanna keep from the library?

I don’t even think I’ll have the time to read anymore.

But if it were up to a Caitlyn with a clearer mind and a little more time to think, maybe she'd have voted to leave everything where they stood.

Tobias had other ideas, and he had been the one with the time to act on it. Everything was reminding him of Cassandra. He was slow and subtle with the cleaning that Caitlyn could never put a finger to each change until it was drastic enough to compromise the quickest way from her room to the dining room, then from the dining room to the main entrance of the house.

Months later, and it turned out, she had forgotten about the library.

Of her own free will, maybe?

At present, all she knew was that the sight of the boxes outside the library was a rude awakening of sorts.

These were her mother’s belongings.

Her mother was gone.

Real life distractions were distractions, but a loss was still a loss. Every clean up, every slight change in the. layout of the house, every loss of some special something that had made this house Cassandra’s was tantamount to losing her mother again.

And the library—- the sight of the boxes just outside… then when she had rushed in, double doors swinging behind her, Caitlyn could have sworn she had been punched at the gut, as bile rose up her throat.

The job wasn’t even half done. Only one or two shelves had been cleaned out from the tops.

The centerpiece of the room was a display table which used to contain tiny trinkets, music boxes, porcelain, ‘mommy’s toys’ as her mother used to explain to her a long time ago when she admonished a young Caitlyn for touching them. The last few weeks, it had been emptied. The porcelain cats and dogs she had grown up only admiring, could have all been broken in some box for all she knew.

The funny part was, she hadn’t thought about any of it for years. The last time the library had been something important to her was when she was ten, and back at a time the shelves were like titans, towering so high over her that her neck ached just trying to get decent glimpse of them.

Since then, Caitlyn was years older, whole feet taller, but scanning the whole library, she felt like a little girl again, faced with losing her one hiding place, losing a piece of her childhood.

Her legs were jelly, and she fell back on one of the sofa chairs that had probably been pushed askew by the recent developments. She didn’t even know if they’d be taking the chairs too, but even something as minute as their change in position was unnerving.

The library had remained untouched for as long as she knew. Admittedly, even at her age, she’d visit at least once a year if only just to play a little game of hide and seek, particularly when she didn't wanna be found.

No one would check Cassandra’s library.

Besides, being a small person in a giant room had its own calming effect It served as some good reminder that the world was bigger than whatever she was facing.

Then and there, an empty room seemed bigger, and Caitlyn was rudely reminded: This wasn’t the biggest problem out there, nor was it close to it. Still, emotions and rationality weren’t so easily harmonized.

Whoever had been cleaning had gone for the highest shelves first. A lot of the books in the lower shelves hadn't been evicted just yet, sitting peacefully like they did all those years ago, painfully unaware that within weeks, they might just forever be torn from their homes.

Caitlyn’s hand abruptly flew out in front of her, and she traced spines, and followed them across the room, her hands landing on of the bigger ones.

Thousand page epics.

Musty, old hardbound books were lined up next to each other, on a shelf, four levels above the ground, and Caitlyn remembered, this had been the forbidden shelf.

Back when she was a child, her mother had never let her touch those hard bound one thousand page epics, although she had at least ten of them.

She had mentioned something about how those books could kill if dropped at the right position or if thrown at the right speed, and back then, Caitlyn had been small enough that she had to reach out to grab them, that she had to hold them with two hands and grip them hard to just to be able to get the books a few inches from the shelf.

Which explained the paranoia.

But it’s been years, and The shelf was at shoulder height, and her years training with a rifle, meant that she could reach out and pull the back without even so little as a stumble.

The Count of Montecristo.

Caitlyn pulled it close to herself and curled back on the sofa chair.

One last time.

Two months into the martial law declaration, and two and a half months since her session started, and Caitlyn was finally a little more appreciative of how comfortable the therapist’s office was.

It could have been mistaken for a library. Shelves were lined up side by side, decorated with hard bound books with metal inlays.

Every therapy session she’d sit on the same sofa, the coffee table only inches from her, that there was never enough space to stretch out her legs, but it would have been moot anyway. Caitlyn had naturally closed her legs and leaned forward admiring the beautiful leather bound book on the table.

“It’s the Count of Monte Christo. Just in case you wanna borrow it.”

She shook her head. Since becoming commander, Caitlyn didn’t even have the time to read.

“Our session have been going towards the direction of revenge, so I thought of getting your thoughts on the book, just to facilitate our discussions.

“If time permits,” Caitlyn said briefly. That had been the polite answer. With her busy schedule, Caitlyn couldn’t even muster some intention to go out of her way to read a thousand page book.

“It’s a good example at least, of how embedded in humanity the concept of revenge is,” she explained. “To seek vengeance is human.”

Her therapist had repeated that phrase countless times before, yet Caitlyn struggled to say it

Maybe because if she did, it could serve as some tacit admission that at the end of the day, what she sought back then as she formed the enforcer’s group, gassed the chambers, had not in fact been justice.

What she had sought was retribution.

Retribution under some convenient guise of justice.

The therapist hadn’t phrased it that way, but the way she had so conveniently laid out the words retribution and justice right next to each other, in some challenge Caitlyn hadn't understood so well just yet, was almost maddening.

“Revenge has been in people’s minds since time immemorial. There’s a reason why this book rose in popularity.. It’s naturally satisfying. People back then were eager to see Dantes exact his revenge.”

The therapist pushed the book closer to Caitlyn, and Caitlyn could feel the therapist observing her as she opened the book to the first page. “You can borrow it if you need to.”

On the 24th of February, 1815, the look-out at Notre-Dame de la Garde signaled the three-master, the Pharaon from Smyrna, Trieste, and Naples…

“Cait?”

Footsteps echoed.

“You in here?”

The voice of her mother’s killer.

Jinx was the one who killed her mother.

Grief and anger were so intertwined. For the first time in weeks, Caitlyn’s hands were shaking at just the sound of those voicesteps, as the annoying timbre of Jinx’s hum.

“Woah, shmancy. Who owns this?” Jinx’s voice was only mere feet away from her.

“My mother,” Caitlyn said. Her jaw was stiff, and if she hadn’t placed the book on the coffee table, she might just drop it.

Jinx was walking towards her. Then she was only inches away from her… No, she was right in front of her.

“This library, it was my mother’s.”

Was.

The person you killed.

The mother you killed.

She’s not here, because of you.

Jinx’s demeanor changed in those few seconds. The playful chirp of a while ago, replaced with the sight of unmoving stone.

It was a wonder how in one second, one quick exchange and in some long drawn eye contact, had been enough to have Caitlyn feeling these same raw emotions from months ago.

“Jinx… my mother’s dead. You killed my mother.” She held her hands over her face and buried her pressed her forehead on the palms of her hands. From in between her fingers, she could Jinx stepping back slowly.

“It happened. I regret it. I’m sorry.”

“You can’t bring her back.”

“I know I can’t, but what do you want me to do. Do you want me to leave?”

No.

“You know, when I shot at the tower. I didn’t see people. I saw the monsters who killed my parents. I saw topsiders… who stole my sister from me, and I saw red—” Jinx explained.

“You couldn’t stop yourself? You couldn’t stop and think at all, that maybe this could have caused anyone unimaginable pain?” Her voice was shaking, and Caitlyn had to navigate every syllable like it was hot stone.

Jinx gave her a wounded look. “I’d think you’d understand it more than anyone else. How many people have you tortured, since you got into power Commander Kiramman? You think all the Jinxers you captured came home in one piece? You think you’re the only one who can experience this unimaginable pain, you’re talking about?”

The pain of Jinx was apparent, by the worry lines that seemed almost permanent, the dark circles and the rims of her eyes an almost permanent pink. How many times has Jinx cried since Isha died? Since Vander had gone.

And since Vi….

She couldn’t imagine.

Caitlyn was still thumbing the edges of the pages. The paper smelled like old wood.

Some parts of this exchange had been familiar. Caitlyn had heard this conversation before, not too long ago, and that time, she had been the one offering to leave, knowing full well there wasn’t much she could do to change the past.

This conflict wasn’t between her and Jinx any longer. It was between Caitlyn and that monster inside her she created when she first donned the commander’s cape.

“Jinx, could you leave me alone for a bit, please?”

Caitlyn had fallen asleep, and she could have been asleep for hours, or thirty minutes before she woke up to the sound of familiar whistling.

Familiar, but strangely nostalgic.

Tobias Kiramman was whistling again, and Caitlyn couldn’t help but note, it had been months she’d last heard it. He had shaved off some of his beard, and he had gone back to work emptying shelves, likely before he had even noticed Caitlyn curled up on the sofa.

Caitlyn waited until he was down from the ladder before she poke up. “You’re the one cleaning out mom’s library.”

Tobias almost tripped on himself. “Caitlyn… You’re home?”

“Just to get some things cleaned… but I didn’t expect the house to change so much since I left.”

“It was a high time we did. We’ve been meaning to clean these out for months.”

Caitlyn bit her lip. “I just… didn’t expect everything to be so sudden.”

“I guess I had just started to work a lot faster. Back then, when I had first started cleaning out her study, I was cleaning out one object a day, putting them into boxes. Then I’d take a whole week off, then work on another part the next day, but I guess… these past few days, something changed inside me. Suddenly I want everything out.”

“Where’re they going?”

“To the attic.”

“Then what’s gonna happen to this room.”

“We’ll find a use for it.”

“The rooms I get.. But what about mothers’ things.”

Tobias Kiramman sighed. “Caitlyn, we’re just boxing them. We both agreed to this.”

Caitlyn didn’t know how to respond. Admittedly she hadn’t thought long and hard about that aspect of grief.

Was she grieving the loss of the piece of her mother? Was she grieving the loss of her mother anew? The emotions were too complex, and at the same time too raw, to make sense of just yet. Caitlyn leaned back down on the sofa bed, opened the book again.

Anger, sadness and confusion mixed together and left to simmer on a boiler plate inside her. One tear trickled down her cheek, falling on the back of her hand. The words in front of her started to blur.

She hadn’t been in the mood to read a while ago. And her run in with her father hadn’t done anything to fix it.

Still, she found herself certain of at least one thing, she was stuck in her sofa chair for the next three hours if just to process everything herself.

“We have wars for a reason,” the therapist explained. “Someone like you who has worked so closely with the enforcers should understand it already. You must have seen how easily the enforcers have ordered the death of hundreds in the Undercity in exchange for some promise for peace. Cait, why did you join the enforcers?“

“Because I saw the potential for Undercity. I saw a future for the topside and bottomside.”

“And how many people would you be willing to kill to make it happen.”

Caitlyn shook her head. “If possible, no one.”

“But people will resist, right? And if they do— if they resist violently, will you be willing to---”

“Yes. I would.”

She would have wanted to mingle on the fence for a few seconds longer, maybe even a minute but the recent memories of gassing the undercity, flashes of torture, and of Ambessa coming to her for an order, Caitlyn signing off on raids on the other city to stomp rebellion, on the torture methods of prisoners…. She had signed them off already, and for what— peace? Or had it been for something a little more selfish…

Your mother will have justice.

The therapist had been quiet.

“Is there something wrong with my answer?” Caitlyn asked.

“There’s no right or wrong answers in therapy.

“Then why’d you go silent.”

“I was thinking…”

“About what?”

“About the evil of bureaucracy, how it trivialized death. Suddenly, people were killed from a signature on a kill order, yet if somebody comes rampaging with the baseball bat and kills in retaliation, they’re a monster. But you know maybe it’s this same evil that reduces other human beings to numbers which made it so society never devolved into complete anarchy. Our institutions have trivialized death, but it doesn’ necessarily mean it takes away so easily what makes us human.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Caitlyn asked.

“Because I don’t want you beating yourself up over this.

“Beating myself up over…”

“Over the past few months… since you’ve lost that partner of yours.” The therapist looked pointedly at Caint. I don’t want you to think that just because you’ve let yourself be blinded by anger, and just because you believe you’ve turned into a monster, it doesn’t mean you have to keep walking the same way back just because you’ve made that choice before. It’s not a failure to stray from that same road you’ve committed to, Caitlyn Kiramman. Besides, with how many lives are in your hands, maybe the people of Piltover and Zaun would benefit from a more human leader.”

“Your father's calling you.”

Late afternoon sunlight was streaming through the window.

Shit.

She had been reading for that long.

The world she had created had consumed her for at least a good few hours, that she had lost track of time, and sitting back down on the chair, studying the way light had scattered against the carpeted floor of the library, Caitlyn was slowly getting her bearings.

She was back in the real world with real problems.

How was Vi?

She should get back to the hospital soon.

“Lady Kiramman.”

Where’s Jinx?

“Lady Kiramman.”

“Your father’s calling you.” Looking back at it, maybe inviting the person who killed her mother into the house, had not been such a good idea.

Really, how was she supposed to explain it to her father?

Oh, we may have been indirectly responsible for the death of their family in the Undercity so…

Her heart was pounding.

If her father confronted Jinx, would Jinx fight back? If they fought, would Jinx get arrested? Would they send Jinx to Stillwater?

Will she have to sign off on this herself?

How was she going to explain this to Vi?

She rushed down the stairs, and on the sofa, a cup of tea on his lap was Tobias Kiramman. “The stuffed bunny you asked the servants to wash is ready.”

Had he noticed Jinx?

Yes he did, very apparent by how JInx was sitting in front of him, her hat was off, and her long braids were spilling on the sofa,

“This… is who you brought home with you?”

“Father— it’s complicated.”

“I’ve lived in this world for at least thirty more years than you, Caitlyn. I’m perfectly aware the world is complicated.”

“I’m sorry…”

Caitlyn had leaned her elbows on her thighs, and lowered her face on her hands. She looked vulnerable, like she had been in the hospital, and Caitlyn could only wonder what Tobias had told her.

How he hadn’t been eating well for six months?

How he hadn’t gone out of the house for three months since her death?

Or had he called the cops on her, and they’d be there any second?

But the tea laid out in front of Jinx, the untouched cookie had betrayed at least half of the possibilities Caitlyn had come up with.

Unless it was poison. It was a far-off possibility that Caitlyn entertained for a mere second. Her father wasn’t evil. In fact, Caitlyn would argue that she had never seen him livid over anything.

Yet…

The death of your wife? The death of my mother?

“What’s going on?” Caitlyn asked.

“I saw her walking along the hallways, and I invited… her for tea.”

She killed our mother. You’ve been catatonic for months. Caitlyn blinked back confusion. “Why… would… you?”

“I just wanted to ask her about it.” He stirred his tea. “About why she did it.”

Caitlyn turned to Jinx. “And you told him…”

Then to her father. “And you just listened.”

Her father set down his cup. “We have a justice system, so broken, that it rewards the abuser and leaves no recourse for the victim, and sometimes it forces the victim to take justice in their own hands.”

“But… she’s my mother. She’s your wife,” Caitlyn said in disbelief.

“And others have lost wives and mothers without ever seeing that same justice, haven’t they?”

My parents were killed by enforcers.

Vi.

I watched them kill my parents, do you have any idea how that feels?

If Caitlyn could, she’d prefer to maintain a poker face during therapy sessions. “That seems like a miserable way to live, to constantly expect to be betrayed by every single person you cross.”

“It has worked to keep people in check for centuries,” the therapist said. “If someone believes, any person they cross is the Count of Monte Cristo, they’d be less likely to do wrong, right?”

“Which is also a miserable way to look at good deeds,” Caitlyn said.

“Not everyone thinks that way, Caitlyn. I’m sure of it.”

“But you said it yourself, to seek vengeance is human.”

“But even among us mortals, I like to believe there are a few divine,” she trailed off. “It may be rare, but I’m sure there are people out there who can take every form of beating and abuse, lose everything, yet still sit with their enemy and try to understand.”

Then and there, just imagining herself sitting in front of Jinx, after everything, after being kidnapped, after witnessing her mother killed, had her hurling.

The therapist grinned. “You don’t believe me.Why do you think, despite the unending wars and conflicts, people are still able to travel from city to city, write about love, life and family, sing songs of love? Why is it that despite everything, there are still people who see beauty in this world? Why are people still able to experience unconditional love?”

“Because there are people who’ve never experienced pain. It’s easier to be kind when everyone has been kind to you.”

“And you think, every single kind of person has never experienced this same pain, or even something worse?” The therapist’s expression softened, but she had a knowing look, as if then and there she was going to dismantle and rebuild Caitlyn’s beliefs in seconds.

Her next move thought hadn’t been to go into some long newfangled explanation. Instead she put down her clipboard and leaned back on the chair, and nodded. “ During our sessions, you’d mention a partner in passing, but strangely, we’ve never actually delved into her. Since we got the time, could you tell me a little more about this partner of yours?”

“Isha has a new friend!”

Nadia’ voice registered in her mind, before Caitlyn could even figure out with the little girl had been talking about. Caitlyn’s bag was stuffed till the reams were visible that Caitlyn had no choice but to leave a little air open where some part of it could stick out, like a head with floppy ears.

“Violet…” Nadia read out the name stitched on the side. The handiwork of the servants had made it very readable once again.

“Is that her name?” ” Nadia asked.

Jinx hummed. “You could say that.”

She placed Isha next to Violet. “So Violet and Isha… they can be friends?”

A sardonic smile seemed to play on Jinx's lips. “In another world… maybe.”

Caitlyn wished she could have let Nadia play with it, but for Vi’s sake, she found herself pushing the bunny deeper into her overnight bag. “Sorry Nadia, This is a gift for a sick friend. If we let anyone play with it, it’s gonna get dirty.”

Nadia at least, had a thousand other things on her mind. A simple ‘no’ had her seeking preoccupation elsewhere.

Are the cupcakes still in her room?” Jinx asked.

Caitlyn hummed. “Probably. We haven’t even touched them.”

“Day-old cupcakes? Yum.”

Caitlyn sighed. Jinx clearly wanted more, but Caitlyn’s basket already contained the two loaves she had planned to buy. The cupcakes… she was hoping to avoid it.

“You can get one cupcake.”

“Two cupcakes. Vi never got to eat the cupcakes, and if she’s as sick as they say she is, you think it’s safe for her to eat day-old cupcakes?”

Two cupcakes.

Money had never been the issue. If anything it had been the backlog of cupcakes back home they had yet to finish.

But it wasn’t that big of a problem.

A minute later, a fudge cupcake and a vanilla cupcake were on the counter ready to be punched.

“Nadia, be careful on your way out—”

As she dashed out the door and onto the entrance, she waved at Caitlyn and Jinx from behind, a bread bag swinging from her left hand.

“She’s doing deliveries again?” Caitlyn asked.

“Just a special delivery” The baker answered as she made her finishing touches on the bow of the cupcake box.

“A special customer?” Caitlyn continued.

The baker hummed. “You can say that. It turned out, one of the boys who had been stealing bread was desperate. Their father lost his job, with no money coming in, they were facing starvation. That’s why they did what they did.”

Caitlyn did her part, packing the cupcakes onto the paper bag. “So it’s charity.”

“Charity…” the baker paused in thought. “ I prefer to call this our share of the community work. Nadia and I are just doing our part for this company, if we can help it, we’d rather people weren’t desperate enough to resort to crime.

“It’s been a while,” Vi said. “Missed you.” Her voice was weak, her expression deadpan, and she was playing with an uneaten bowl of steamed vegetables. Vi was cranky and that was all sarcasm.

“One day is far shorter than the six months we were away from each other.”

“Whose fault was that?” Vi was just making it harder to get to that conversation.

But if it were up to Caitlyn, she would have ripped it off like a band-aid.

There was another extraneous circumstance.

“Where’s my sister?” Vi asked.

“Powder?” Jinx’s voice echoed, with the rattle of the door behind them. “Just stopped by the gift shop on the way in.”

“For what?” Caitlyn asked.

“Just to add a little more effect.” Jinx walked forward and plopped the gift bag on the bed. “She missed you.”

Vi didn’t seem to get it. Her face, a mix of pure confusion and utter resignation, as she rifled through the bag. Then quickly, her face morphed to surprise… disbelief.

But Caitlyn couldn’t tell if she was happy.

“It’s… Mr. Bunny.” She turned to Jinx in disbelief. “You kept him.”

“Of course I did,” Jinx said. “You two didn’t notice it back at the factory, when..." Jinx trailed off, and she probably knew she didn't have to continue. "I lost it after that, but back when we were kids, you gave it to me for safekeeping.”

“You don’t have to give it back—”

“Just take it,” Jinx said. “I didn’t spend a whole weekend retracing my steps in the factory ruins and the lair for you to reject it.”

Vi didn’t give any express thanks, but it was apparent in her face, in the way that she held the bunny close to herself like she was a little girl again. “But… why give it back?”

Jinx simply looked at her, before her eyes lowered onto the bed. “Cause it reminded me of my sister, and because I wanted my sister back.”

Jinx could have left because she wanted to, or maybe she had noticed Caitlyn's restlessness, or maybe it had been Vi leading them there unknowingly with an innocent question.

“You can sit down, you know?”

Caitlyn wouldn’t. Not when she couldn’t be sure, she’d be welcome a few minutes later.

Jinx seemed to get the message. She muttered something about dinner as she put her beanie over head, and how it would probably take her a convenient hour or so to find that Shuriman food joint she had wanted to try.

“I need to talk to you about something,” Caitlyn said.

“You looked like you've been wanting to for a while.” Vi was starting to look as nervous as she was.

“You’re angry with me?” Caitlyn asked.

Vi frowned in confusion. “For what?”

“For everything.”

“You’ll have to be more specific.”

“The past six months.”

“We were broken up.”

“But before that, I—” Caitlyn’s hands flew to her side.

Vi lowered her eyes on hers. “Maybe I deserved that punch in the gut.”

“You being stuck in the hospital...”

“You’re not the one who slashed my stomach back there in the camp.”

“You heard the doctors… you’re not here for this long just because of that.”

“I’m here because they had to remove an organ, and somehow it fucked up my whole body.”

Caitlyn still hadn’t moved from her place a good few feet away from Vi’s bed, nor did she intend to. “They had to remove your spleen… and why do you think they had to do that?”

“They talked about a rupture.”

“And you know what can cause a spleen to rupture from right underneath the ribcage? A lucky punch," Caitlyn said, still a good few inches worth of distance from Vi. “Or a lucky hit from a blunt object to just that perfect spot in your stomach— A lucky strike from a hard and sturdy rifle.”

Vi cupped her wound and took a deep breath. She wasn’t the type to show it, but Caitlyn was sure it was still hurting her, if the dosage of painkillers they had administered hadn’t been proof enough. “It’s been almost a year since then if that really fucked my body I should have felt it earlier.”

“That’s what I tried to convince myself but… a delayed reaction isn’t medically impossible.”

“So it’s those long nights in the undercity, getting punched till i was blue and black every night huh?”

“Which worsened it… but I gave the inciting blow. I shouldn’t have—-”

“I should have dodged it. Imagine, a featherweight champion, can’t even dodge an almost fatal blow from a rifle.” Vi closed her eyes. She looked exhausted. "I knew you were a good shot. Turns out, I was still underestimating you.”

“No, I feel you overestimated me. You trusted me enough not to take a hit at you…”

“A hit I deserved,” Vi said. “We had a mission. I promised to help you hunt down my sister, and I guess when I hesitated, when I stopped you from shooting, you probably felt betrayed.”

The conversation wasn’t going where Caitlyn had hoped it would. Vi was slow, so slow, that Caitlyn’s built-up frustration had to go somewhere. She slammed her overnight bag on the floor just behind. “For gods’ sake Vi, even just for a minute, could you please be angry at me? Kick me out of the room, tell me you never wanna see me again. I’ll give you my rifle, hit me like how I hit you—” Caitlyn couldn’t keep a straight face, she could feel the blood rushing to her cheeks, making it impossible to just look at Vi, the same way Vi had been looking at her since a while ago.

Vi’s face was a clean slate. There was no anger in Vi’s face or conclusion. Surprise, maybe genuine concern, painted her features, but every part of it had been frustrating. Vi was supposed to be angrier than this.

“Getting butted in the gut like that felt like shit, Cait,” Vi said “I don’t think I’d want anyone to experience that.”

“At least be angry?”

Vi’s face crumpled into a wounded look. “I wish I could be angry, but I’m not. You had your reasons, the same way I had reasons for failing that mission. Losing your mother like that—”

“Your mother died too —- Why can you still sit there without pulling a punch when the embodiment of everything that is wrong with your life is right in front of you?”

Vi darted her eyes towards the window, as if self-conscious, yet Caitlyn realized this shouldn’t have been something Vi should be embarrassed.

But even among us mortals, there are a few divine.

“Because…” Vi whispered.

And Vi was divine, even if she couldn’t explain why herself.

“I can handle this. I deserve this. Say what you want to say. Curse me. Punch me on the face,” Caitlyn said.

Vi had never hit her, and Caitlyn couldn’t imagine Vi ever doing this to her, but she deserved the pain. Hell, she’d appreciate something to just knock some sense into her.

Vi shook her head. “No. I won’t. What would hurting you back solve? It might just make everything worse. Back then, you were dealing with your own grief.”

“You and Jinx—- you were also both dealing with your own grief.”

“But it has to stop somewhere… right? We’ll just be causing more and more grief, and those struggling with it will just cause other people’s grief, and it will just continue and continue…”

“I don’t think I can forgive myself as easily as you’d forgive me.”

“Then just forgive yourself because I'm asking you to. The last thing I wanna see you do is beat yourself up over this."

“You won’t eat the cupcake?”

Caitlyn shook her head. “I think I’ll save it for VI.”

“Her sister likes the vanilla ones. She downed the last one in the house.”

Caitlyn lowered her eyes on the plate. They had gone through a dinner at a nearby cafe in utter silence. They were never the particularly talkative ones in their family, but they were constantly silent either. Maybe it had been the fact that only hours ago, the cafe had been bustling with the dinner crowd that discussing the forgiveness of a wanted criminal seemed almost counterintuitive, or maybe because none of them had been in the mood to talk which had been commonplace for both of them since their mother died.

It had always been Cassadra Kiramman setting out the agenda for their nightly dinners.

“Let’s take out the dessert for them?”

“I suppose we could,” Caitlyn said. She took one look around her, at empty chairs and tables. The cafe store owner had left the bill, and was in the kitchen probably preparing to close up shop.

“Are you okay, Caitlyn?”

“I just find it strange, is all. You’re taking out dessert for Jinx? The person who killed your wife and my mother.”

“And you’re the one who’s been helping her through her own loss. Can you explain that to me?”

“It’s different. I’m doing this because of Vi, and….” She couldn’t find a way to explain it, but somehow it felt like something she had to do. “because Jinx needed it, and she was all alone… But you? You didn’t have to. You could have called the cops.”

Tobias stirred his half empty cup of tea that had long since gone cold. The clink and the clank had done its part to fill the silence, making time crawl just a little bit faster. “She asked me to call the cops, and I guess that’s why I couldn’t. It’s been almost a year since Cassandra’s death, and strangely I didn’t feel anger when I saw her, if anything, I was more curious how a young girl, much younger than even my own daughter, would willfully aim her gun and pull the trigger, killing multiples, devastating families.”

He took a sip and continued. “But it’s an easy question to answer. I saw what you became, Caitlyn. You never told me yourself what you and Ambessa have been up to, but I’ve read the news. I know what the enforcers were doing in the Undercity. I know you’ve been signing off on military raids, on torture orders, to keep Piltover safe. Yet I couldn’t hate you, could I?” He dropped the cup back on the saucer with a clatter. “Your mother wasn't innocent either. You don’t rise to the top and become a councilor without being complicit to the system, without signing off on a few questionable laws, and I knew one day, it might just catch up to her, and it might just be her fault— or Piltover’s fault I’ve had my life to come to terms with this.”

That was the most talkative her father had been in months, and little by little, Caitlyn was starting to wonder, had he closed himself off because of grief or because of fear? Had Caitlyn really been somebody else the past few months?

“They say, wives tend to outlive their husbands, but since before we got married, I used to joke with her about “she’s gonna die to a gunshot wound by a crazed rebel, and I probably wouldn’t blame them. When I proposed to your mother, I knew that one day, I could lose her to her own choices.”

The cafe owner was at the counter again, and Caitlyn saw that as an end to the conversation. Her father took out his wallet, and slapped a few bills on the table. “The cupcakes are also my treat,” he said.

Caitlyn lowered her eyes on the table. “Whatever I became, I'm sorry for that.”

“Just learn from it, change for the better, and about Vi… take care of her. People like her only come once in a blue moon.”

On their way out of the shop, her father had rearranged the cupcakes by the counter. He had a vanilla one for Jinx, a fudge one for Vi, and Caitlyn had taken him up on the offer and had gotten caramel for herself. “Do they still accept visitors now?”

“They should. Vi’s doing a lot better at least, so they should be less strict.”

“Thought I’d pay her a visit, give the cupcakes myself.”

Caitlyn let out a demure laugh. “She’d probably appreciate it.”

“I should be thanking her personally for everything she’s done for my daughter.”

The door to Vi’s hospital room had been left half open, the crack just wide enough for an eye to peek through with no more than a slight jostle at the hinge.

But Vi and Jinx were in the middle of a conversation, and Caitlyn awkwardly stood there. The right time to enter should come eventually, right?

There was a rustle of plastic, then the smack of a cardboard box against the wooden table.

"... the same fudge cupcake Caitlyn got me a few days ago. Since you like it… I bought a few more.”

“Where did you buy it?”

“This bakery nearby and there’s a little girl there who reminded me a lot of Isha, and I guess I’ve been spending some time there, but if you’re tired of it, we could look for other food.’

Jinx had asked for some money just that morning, and Caitlyn gave enough just for a good meal around the city. Jinx deserved something for her troubles.

“....Cupcakes are the only break from whatever slosh they serve here. Besides, the chocolate that oozes out…”

“Isha liked it too.”

“Hey, Ji—”

“Powder.”

“It still hurts, doesn’t it?”

“I don’t think it’s never not gonna hurt.”

“I’m sorry for pulling you away… back then, when you tried to save her…”

“No, we would’ve both died there if you didn’t pull me back…” Jinx said.

The sound of soft chewing filled the room.

“Is she okay?” Tobias asked.

Caitlyn put one finger to her mouth in shush

“...It starts to make sense now… Why you wouldn’t let me join you all those years ago when you raided Silco’s factory to save Vender? Can’t believe it, I’m starting to understand my big sister.”

“Or maybe Silco could have killed all of us… I don’t know…It was too far in the past… I don’t even know if I could still be angry about it anymore…”

There was a soft yawn, then soft unintelligible whispers.

Then JInx’s voice, low and monotone. “Take a rest, sister. Will be here when you wake up.”

And Caitlyn had placed her handle on the door, ready to pull it back, if it hadn’t been for the soft whimpers, and the heaves then the outright sobbing.

It wasn’t her first time seeing Jinx cry, and maybe she would have sent Tobias out, or she would have had gone in herself if Vi hadn’t reached out a hand, and caressed JInx head gently, pulling Jinx towards her.

“Hey, I’m your sister. I won’t leave you again. I won't let you go through this on her own... Let it all out.”

At that point, Caitlyn didn't know when the right time to enter the room would be, but one thing she was sure of, she no longer wanted to stand in the way of the sisters anymore.

"It looks like we're staying in the cafeteria for the next hour or so," Caitlyn said with a stretch as she turned towards the stairs, her father trailing from behind.

Vander used to call my sister unbreakable.

Caitlyn used to believe that Vi was unbreakable. Jinx had admitted to believing the same.

As she said goodbye to her father for the night, walked through the hallway, mulled over her thoughts for a while longer, Caitlyn picked out three certainties.

First, Vi was broken on the bed. The doctors had said so herself. Vi’s body was broken, her chest cavity stockpile of distended organs, her blood, a cocktail of medications and her muscles and bones, pulled away from each other yet pulled together by a sheer will to leave.

Second, Vi was talking to the people who had hurt her beyond repair like they were human, like they were the friends she had made.

Third, and most importantly, Vander was right. Vi was unbreakable. Caitlyn had been right in sensing it, and Jinx had been right in believing it.

Vi was human. Her bones could shatter. Her muscles could tear. Her body would bleed, and she could find herself stuck to a bed unable to move for weeks, fighting off fever after fever, infection after infection, but Vi's spirit was unbreakable. She was divine, and it manifested in the gentle way she had her sister close to her as Jinx bit back muffled sobs despite everything that had transpired between them.

When Caitlyn had come back to the room hours later, Vi gave her a weak and faded smile. "Hey cupcake," she whispered. "Long night?"

Whatever that smile had been had been the most genuine one Caitlyn had seen in months.

Vi was divine in a way that overtime, she had gotten Caitlyn believing that she could be forgiven, and believing that she could actually change.

God, those past six months, she had missed Vi, and then and there, she was sure, she wouldn't trade her for the world.

That was Vi’s tenth fudge cupcake.

And there was going to be an eleventh once Jinx came back that afternoon with another three boxes

Which technically wasn’t a lot anyway, given that she had been in the hospital for almost a month already.

“Next week,” Caitlyn said. “By next week, we’ll get you out, and you can rest and recover in my place."

“And Powder?”

“We have a guest bedroom of course. She’ll be fine."

Vi sighed and stretcted her arms gently over her face. “Then finally I can get a real cupcake.”

“We went against doctors ten times over your fudge cupcakes.”

“Well, when all I’m eating every day is hospital slop, ten cupcakes isn’t a lot.”

“Hey, just because you’re in my house, doesn’t mean we’re going to run around completing missions, okay? You have a long recovery ahead of you. You have a vaccine schedule and antibiotics you need to take.. I promised the doctor I’d— ”

“So, you stopped by the enforcer’s office. Any updates?” If she was strong enough to dodge medical talk, she was probably doing better. Besides, the medical talk could wait until she had to take the medicines.

"They’ve reported sightings of a bearded man with a hammer running amok in the city.”

“Jayce…” Vi asked, but even she couldn’t hide the confusion from the frown she had shot Caitlyn. Caitlyn couldn't offer any remedy unfortunately, she was just as confused. “Ambessa will be back, probably with a larger army from Noxus… a full scale invasion, but we should have six months months at least.”

“And you’ll be leading…”

“I’m still their Commander. I’m the only one from the councilors left. Sallo is missing. Mel is missing and her mother… Ambessa… We know what happened.”

“I don’t know how else I can help but— You know I’ll be here. At least, if you want me to be here.”

“I do,” Caitlyn admitted.

“Great. At least it’s clear.”

Silence followed, and Caitlyn's attention was back on the book.

Vi's chewing was white noise to her, comforting proof that she was alive and kicking. She was slow with eating the cupcake, but she had been steady. One bite, a long chew, and another. “You’re still reading that one thousand page book?” Vi asked.

“It passes the time,” Caitlyn said. “Especially since you’re asleep half the time.”

“I am not.” Vi wouldn’t admit it, but Caitlyn gladly would, after all, she had been counting the hours herself. Vi was asleep for at least twelve hours a day.

Caitlyn had the facts and the numbers to win, but she wasn’t in the mood to win an argument just yet. She turned back to her book, just until the end of the chapter. “I’m about to finish the book.”

“I wish I could tell you a better story.”

“You have, multiple times before. I’d just rather not tire you out.”

“Just ask whatever question. Give me a prompt.”

She had suspected it for a second. Vi was restless, and she wanted something: either a conversation or an argument.

Caitlyn closed the book with a thud. “Fine, answer this, do you think there’s still beauty in this world?”

Vi almost spit out her cupcake. “What the fuck kind of unicorn question is that?”

“Well, give me a good answer. You’re the one who wants to talk?”

Vi thought for a second before flashed her a winning smile. “I have beauty right in front of me.”

“I’m serious, Vi.”

“Why ask that question?”

“Because, there must be a reason you’re still… able to be kind to people… after everything you’ve been through?”

“Is that even related to beauty?” Vi shrugged. “I think treating people like humans and helping out when we can is what we’re supposed to be doing. People in the undercity go through shit every day yet for some reason we still care about each other. You’ll only survive when you stick together. Are people from the topside so separated from struggling to survive that they can’t understand that?”

“Why do you still want me next to you, after everything you’ve been through?”

“Coz you’re hot.”

“Seriously.”

Vi sighed. “I’m eating a really good cupcake, the fudge is getting all over my fingers, and I’m being interrogated like I just committed a crime.”

“Or we don’t have a conversation at all.” Caitlyn opened her book once again.

“I just don’t have an answer,” Vi said. “You know, I just don't see you as just an enforcer. I see you as Caitlyn.”

“And when I pushed you away, and hurt you all those months ago.”

“I saw a young innocent girl who lost her mother, just like I did all those years ago.”

Caitlyn shook her head. “I shouldn’t have pushed you away in the first place. I’m sorry I couldn’t keep my promise.”

“The promise not to change… you mean?”

“I know… I changed… It's a broken promise, but looking back at it, I’m glad I changed,” Caitlyn said. “That Caitlyn… That Caitlyn Kiramman, who gladly compromised her morals in the face of the slightest adversity doesn’t deserve you, Vi. You deserved much better.”

“Caitlyn your mom died—”

“But it wasn’t any justifiable reason to go on a rampage of revenge, was it?”

“Cait, you don’t—”

Caitlyn quickly pressed her pointer finger to Vi's lips in a hush. “Just shut up and accept the apology.”

“But I understand what you’re going through and It was my fault for what happened to my sister.”

Caitlyn knew the script already. She had spent a month trapped with that self-loathing buffoon to know when an apology was coming, to know the exact moment would Vi would draw the blame towards her, and she knew exactly what she was going to do.

Caitlyn leaned forward on the bed, and Vi knew the drill, scooching a bit to the side, gently setting aside the tubes. Jinx wouldn’t be back for the next hour, and they had some time.

The next few minutes, their foreheads were against each others, and Caitlyn took the opportunity to press her lips against Vi’s. She held one arm behind Vi, propping her hand against Vii’s back, pulling her gently towards her, yet carefully enough to react quickly at the slightest wince or jostle.

Vi had had enough time to recuperate at least, enough that an embrace had become bearable, if not painless.

Or Vi could be just hiding it.”

“You’ll make sure to tell us if it hurts right?”

And the alarming part was Vi didn’t even deny that maybe that embrace had been a little too hard. Maybe it could have hurt, but Vi shrugged it off. “How can it hurt? I’ve been missing this for months. Also, when we get out of here, you promise you’ll get me the real cupcake, right?”

Caitlyn rolled her eyes. “You’re unbearable.

Even long after that kiss was over, Vi had her fingers caressing the in-betweens of Caitlyn’s.

In that world they had created between them, Caitlyn had never left, nor had she ever hurt Vi.

But Caitlyn wouldn’t forget.

It was her belief that Vi was unbreakable that had hurt her when she shouldn’t.

But it was that same unbreakable spirit that had Vi accepting her again, like it had all never happened.

But Vi was only human, and that one month had taught her just that.

Don’t you dare break her. Caitlyn whispered to herself. Don’t even consider it, Caitlyn Kiramman.