Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

‘Don’t run your mouth like that. People like you only look like fools when they say stuff they don’t mean.’

“Ugh—! Fuck, I feel like I got hit by a damn bus…” 

Waking up after dying was like taking in a breath of fresh air, just to choke on the smell of something unpleasant. There was a great deal of pain in the back of Delisaster’s head, and everything felt too loud around him. His right cheek still hurt from where it had been sliced open by that serious guy and his brother’s crazy combination attacks, and his heart beat rapidly in his chest from the leftover adrenaline.

Wait. That wasn't right.

Since when did Delisaster’s heart last beat?

He sat up again and fumbled with his chest. It was solid— no fresh injuries or anything bad enough to scar over— and there was something beating underneath it. Out of pure curiosity, Delisaster dug his fingers into flesh, and—

“Fucking ow ,” he said aloud, blinking rapidly when tears sprang to his eyes as he kept clawing at his chest, chunks of his own skin and blood building up underneath his fingernails. The angry red on his chest never faded, no matter how long he stared down at it, willing it to close up. The beating in his chest was quicker, now, and it felt like it was crawling its way up his throat. “It’s not healing…?”

This must have been before Father gave me a demon heart. So, then… I’m around eleven at the oldest? 

He looked around rapidly, sighing when he found no mirrors or windows. It had to have been sometime in his early childhood, then, for it to be like this— as the youngest of Father’s children, he hadn’t been allowed to keep so as much a reflective surface in his room lest he grow attached to his own reflection. Of course, after he had been given a demon heart and raised into one of Father’s weapons, his room had been changed, and he had been given the chance to start life anew as one of the Devil’s Quintuplets.

Or, well. At this point… it’d probably be the Quadruplets, right? Had Domina and that magicless Mash Burnedead been born yet?

Either way, it didn’t matter too much to him. But… living life like this had been lonely, back when he was younger. He didn’t really want to spend much time cooped up in this room if he could help it.

Delisaster readjusted the robes he wore to hide the bloody marks splayed across his chest as he went to reach for the door, and— as expected, it was locked. 

“So Father’s still being so meticulous about this sorta thing? God, I forgot how much of a control freak he was back then,” Delisaster frowned to himself. He figured that in adolescence, Father would have loosened up a little by this point— not that he would have known, having not paid attention to much of Father’s affairs in his past life either. “Eh, maybe if I…” 

He looked in the direction of his desk, fumbling around for a moment in the dark before he found the familiar feel of his wand. 

“Ascalon!” Surprisingly, the blade that came from the wand was that of his adult self’s capabilities. Delisaster would have figured that his magical ability would have declined with age, but it was just as strong as before… which meant that his door was more or less destroyed now.

Before any of the maids or servants came running, Delisaster was already out of the room and down the hallway, ducking behind empty suits of armour and hiding in crevasses from the faceless guards that patrolled the halls. He didn’t really know what he was searching for— maybe the citadel, where he had been killed by that stiff guy after he teamed on him, or maybe Doom’s room, just to peek in on his brother, or even to find Cell War, who had once been his primary caretaker in childhood…

But eventually, he found himself standing in front of a room he knew all too well.

This room… yes, Father had mentioned it before, hadn’t he? Delisaster had been here. The night that they had been granted their Devil’s Hearts and stripped of their regular hearts had been the night that their youngest brother, Mash Burnedead had gone missing from the nursery, right next to Domina… and they’d been in the nursery itself when Father had given them their new hearts.

For some reason, Delisaster felt the urge to make sure his own heart was still beating away in his chest.

This is stupid. Why am I even here? I should just go back to my room and sleep it off…

He pushed open the door. 

The morning sun streamed through the open windows of a small cottage on the edge of the forest clearing, bathing the kitchen in light. Regro Burnedead sat in an armchair by his living room, tapping a finger anxiously on the armrest.

“Delisaster, have you seen where Mash went?” 

“Huh? Nah, I haven’t seen him today…” The young man ran downstairs, dressed down in a loose shirt and floor length skirt with his hair thrown up in a haphazard ponytail as he tried balancing several boxes of objects in his arms. “He’s probably outside training… kid's a bit of a gym freak now, so it's not like it's out of his norm. Don't think it’s anything to worry about, Pops.”

“...If you say so,” Regro sighed, resolving to let the matter drop— at least, that was what he was probably about to do when there was a loud crack at the entrance to the cabin, and both Delisaster and Regro Burnedead turned to look at the door, before it flew completely off its hinges.

“AAAAGHHHHH!” 

“Sorry, Pops…” Mash stood in the doorway, holding the broken door in his hands. “I can never remember if it’s push or pull…”

Delisaster stared at his little brother for a second before he heaved a sigh and walked over, signaling for Mash to hand the broken door to him. Fifteen years ago, he wouldn’t have even imagined this sort of life, living outside in the woods with the sibling that Father had commanded him to murder— and especially not right after he’d woken up after being killed by one of the Divine Visionaries. 

It was so much nicer than he’d expected it would be.

“Mashie, you know you’ve gotta be more careful, right? If something like this happens again, you’re gonna give Pops a total heart attack.”

“Oh… Right, I’m sorry, Pops. I didn’t mean it…”

“It’s alright, Mash,” Regro came over to ruffle the boy’s mushroom-like hair. “You’re a very polite boy, so as long as you don’t do it again…” 

“Don’t say that, Pops. The universe’d probably explode before the little guy stops destroying doors,” Delisaster shook his head as he guided the door back onto its hinges, grinning triumphantly when it connected with the frame. “ Any -way… didya finish your training today, kid?”

“Yep,” Mash said. “Are you going out again today?”

“Ehh, depends,” Delisaster looked over at Regro, who had settled himself back into his chair. “Pops, do you need to go into town for anything today?”

“Oh, yes…” Regro shot out of his seat, “I need to get a few things from downtown. Delisaster, did you want anything?”

“Not really,” Delisaster shrugged. “Just wanna go head out and see what’s new, ya feel? I’ll grab some creampuffs and wine if I can. D’you want me to just get your stuff for you? Like, I dunno, meds and stuff?”

“Ah, if you can…” Regro said. “Here, take this. And remember to take care of yourself when you go out, alright?” 

“...Of course, Pops.” 

The easy affection that Regro Burnedead showed Delisaster always weighed heavily on him, for whatever reason. 

Maybe it was because of his now human heart that he had to feel this intense guilt for deceiving the kind old man that had taken him and Mash in that night. 

The night that he'd entered the nursery, part of him had wanted to kill Mash at first. It would fix everything, wouldn’t it? Without someone for the rest of the Magic World to rally behind, they could easily win…

But the child had opened his eyes, and with more strength than Delisaster had expected from a five month old, had tugged him forwards by the finger, falling asleep again while wrapped around his hand like a koala even as sirens blared in the hallways— clearly, Delisaster had been noticed already.

And, well, it was a difficult situation for anyone to be in. For someone who had just returned to his eleven year old body with the knowledge of fifteen years to the future, Delisaster made the logical decision:

He ran.

After he’d stolen the magicless baby from his cradle, jumping out an open window and escaping into the night with no second thought, Delisaster had been running on nothing but fumes, and when he reached a point where he figured it was better to just turn back and have Father kill him quickly and painlessly, he had stumbled across Regro Burnedead’s cabin.

Now, fifteen years later, Delisaster had grown used to the life he lived in the forest. He still drank wine— that was a habit that even hermit life couldn’t take from him— and when Regro first came back with a skirt and heels similar to the ones he’d worn before, Delisaster had taken to wearing the outfit around the house whenever he could until Regro went out to buy him more varied clothes… but habits of his past life— carelessly messing with his subordinates or going  on drug and alcohol binges— were all gone now.

For the first time in the two lifetimes he’d lived, Delisaster felt like life really had some sort of ‘meaning’. He had once flippantly mocked Mash Burnedead for his lack of power, but seeing the boy train (and giving his own tips) had been one of the highlights of his second childhood and adolescence. 

What had started as a make-believe game of playing family had grown into some almost fungal-like attachment that had latched onto the human qualities of his old-new heart and fostered them until they practically smothered Delisaster.

How quickly the trajectory of his life had changed scared him a bit sometimes, but he couldn’t imagine going about without the burst of warmth in his chest whenever Regro referred to him as his ‘son’ and when Mash called him ‘big brother’. As simple as they were, they felt better than any other sort of satisfaction he’d gleaned from his previous life.

(Still, one thing that didn’t change was that Delisaster held a seriously huge grudge against that uptight prick. He knew Mash would eventually have to meet the bastard and get his help, but it was annoying to think of him…)

When Delisaster returned, a few bottles of wine and creampuffs in hand, he had expected to see the cottage as it always was: the half-broken front door that Pops had to keep fixing over and over, Mash’s equipment strewn messily over the lawn, and the other usual clutter. That wasn’t the case this time, though, he realized with a jolt as he looked at the ruined grass in front of the lawn and the half-destroyed wall of the cottage he’d lived in for the past fifteen years.

Wand in hand and ready to cast Ascalon on whatever interlopers Father might’ve sent their way, Delisaster burst through the wall, only to find Mash choking out a few Bureau employees while their Pops sat in the corner, looking as bewildered as he was whenever Mash broke their door straight off its hinges.

Delisaster lowered his wand a little.

“Huh. Uhhh… so, Mashie, do you have everything covered here…?” Delisaster waved a hand around and gestured at the carnage, blinking when his brother simply gave him a thumbs up. “Cool… gotcha. I’ve got your creampuffs here, and Pops, I have your renewed driver’s ID.” 

“Delisaster—” Regro was about to speak, before he shut his mouth and instead just shook his head quickly, staring at the people opposite him.

“W–wait!” One of the figures Mash had knocked to the floor choked out as he slowly got up, clawing at the wall and setting himself upright. “Hold on, you also live here?”

“Uh, yeah. Duh?” Delisaster raised an eyebrow, narrowing his eyes and re-readying his wand. “That’s my Pops, and that’s my little brother. Who the hell are you?”

“ Delisaster, don’t tell them—”

“I… I’m from the Bureau of Magic! And you’re both harbouring a lackmagic! T-that’s against the law, you know!”

“Oh, are you now?” Delisaster raised his wand higher in a threatening way, summoning a flurry of Ascalons to trap the man against the wall. He lifted his wand, pointing it against the man's throat. “Well, unfortunately, I happen to have a thing against cops, Magic Bureau lackeys or not…”

“S-stop! I— I have a proposal for your brother, if you actually want to see him and your Pops here live even after breaking the law!” 

Delisaster narrowed his eyes. He suddenly felt a very intense sense of wanting to beat the old loser up. I’d almost forgotten… everyone here hates Mash for not having magic, right? Is this the reason why he even went to Easton in the first place? “Mashie, you wanna hear this guy out?”

“Sure,” Mash shrugged. 

“Tch. Fine, then, wizard cop. Speak.” 

“E-eek…” The man launched into a spiral of terrified rambling, saying how he needed someone to become a Divine Visionary and that it would be a ‘mutually beneficial’ deal for them. All the while, Delisaster stared him down with a dead-eyed glare. “Done yet, dickface?”

“Y–yes! Yes, I’m done!”

“Oookay. Mashie, what do you think of his proposal?” Though he'd lowered his wand and stepped away, Delisaster still didn’t let the man out of the cage, instead turning to look at his brother, who seemed to have been staring at the bag of creampuffs in his hand the entire time.

“Hmm… well, it sounds like I’ve got no other choice, unless I want you and Pops to get taken into custody… I’ll do it,” Mash decided. Delisaster frowned— he wanted to see if there was some sort of other solution, but this was clearly more or less how it must have gone in his previous life too, and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t want to see a more properly trained Mash beat up their older brothers. “When do I start?”

“The Entrance Exams for Easton begins in a week, so…” The Bureau Man said, “We’ll have to start preparing you for it now.”

“Oh. Okay,” Mash nodded. “I’ll get started, then.”

“That’s great… now, if you could get your brother to let me out of here…?”

“My big brother won’t do anything unless he feels like it,” Mash said simply. Delisaster almost wanted to laugh, but he managed to maintain a straight face for the intimidation factor. “You might have to say please, I think.”

“Could… could you please let me out of here?”

“He means you gotta get on your knees and beg, old fart,” Delisaster snickered. “Seriously, you broke into my house, beat up my Pops and tried to kill my baby brother and you’re thinking I’ll let you out if you say a few sweet words? Bro, you’ve gotta be bonkers.”

“Delisaster…” Regro came over to put a hand on his shoulder. “It’s alright. You shouldn’t detain someone like this, even if they did do really bad things.”

But I saw that serious guy do this to his brother once… Delisaster wanted to grumble, but no one would understand and he’d just make Regro upset. “Fine, fine. I’ll let it go this one time, but if it ever happens again, I’m so not going nice-guy on your ass. That okay with you, Pops?”

Regro just smiled. “Yes, that’s alright. You’ve grown into such a kind young man… I’m so proud.”

Haha… if you only knew, Pops. Would you still say that to me if you knew what I’ve tried to do? What I already have done?

Delisaster turned away before familiar tears could start pricking at his eyes. “Well, Mashie… looks like we’re shipping you off to magic school! Let’s go get you all ready to become a real wizard, yeah, little dude?”

“Can I have creampuffs first?”

…What the hell was I even worrying about? Delisaster just laughed. “Course you can, little man. They’re all yours.”

Chapter Text

“Why are you still here?” 

Keeping sane the past week had been a Sisyphean task for Delisaster, who had to come home to see the face of the man who’d nearly put his Pops and Mash to death casually sitting in the kitchen and being served a cup of tea by Regro more or less every day of the week. He refused to learn the bastard’s name just on principle, and also because it was funny to see the man struggle to tell him off because of his crippling fear of Delisaster. “Man, can’t you go and piss off already?” 

“It’s the day of your brother’s entrance exam,” Beta said simply, though he still flinched when Delisaster made to move closer to him. “We’re going to go spy on him. You should come too, in case you need to do some sort of fakeout for him.”

“Fakeout? The hell d’you mean?”

“If you need to perform magic to cover for him, I mean,” Bitchfuck explained. 

“Mash won’t need any of my or Pops’ help,” Delisaster waved a hand dismissively. “He can bullshit his way through any tests they throw his way no problemo. Well, I guess that’s as long as they don’t put a door somewhere in there.”

“And if they do…?”

“Then he’ll break it,” Delisaster said, as if it was something normal to declare. “But I’m for sure coming along, ‘cause I don’t trust you enough to leave you alone with my Pops. You should be staying, like, five feet away from him at all times. Actually, make it six.”

“That’s such an unreasonable standard…”

“Uhhh, ex cuse me? You wanna talk unreasonable, do you? Who’s the dude that broke into our home and tried to beat a senior citizen up? If my Pops wasn’t such a forgiving guy, I’d have torn you a new asshole already with my Ascalons! …Though, I wouldn’t do that inside. Then we’d have to clean that mess up, and that’d be too much trouble to leave to Mashie or Pops.”

“Huu… my kids are so good…” Regro wept away a tear for dramatic effect, ignoring the silent-one-sided-staring match that Delisaster was very clearly winning. He grew contemplative as he looked down at the table, “I can’t believe Mash is really going to go to a magic school, though… I never got to go to one when I was younger.”

It’s not really all it's cracked up to be, Delisaster grimaced, remembering his days at Walkis. Hopefully it would be different in Easton, but as he’d never gotten to properly meet Mash face-to-face in his last life, he wouldn’t know whether he’d turned out angry and jaded like the rest of them. “Hey, cheer up, Pops. I’m sure he’ll do great at school— I mean, who doesn’t like emotionally closed off, creampuff obsessed neurodivergent kids with no filter?”

“...He’s doomed,” Regro looked at his teacup with a thirty-yard stare. Delisaster decided to leave him alone for the time being and whirled around to go pour himself a glass of wine.

“Well, he doesn’t need to make friends,” Bigot said, looking like he was about to pat Regro on the back before immediately thinking better of it (suck on that, loser) and taking his hand back. “All he needs to do is pass the Visionary Exam, and then he can come back to live life out in the middle of nowhere!”

“Uhh, Mash doesn’t want that, though,” Delisaster said. He was only half lying— even if it was only information he had gleaned from his past life’s events, that ‘Mash Burnedead’ had an army of people who were willing to give their lives and their magic power to help him… it would be sad if he didn’t get to meet those same people and touch them the same way in this life too. “And the hell did I say about staying six feet from my Pops?”

At that moment, Mash came down the stairs, a creampuff in his left hand and a creampuff balanced on his head. “Good morning, Pops, big brother. Are we going to school now?”

“ You’re going to take the exam, Mushroom Head. And your Pops and brother will be there to cheer you on.” Bastard told Mash, who nodded. “Got it?”

“‘Kay.”

“Alright, come here. I need to draw on your fake line.”

“Don’t make his line look ugly, or I’ll kill you, gotcha?”

“ Delisaster… ” 

“My bad, Pops!”

“ This was your big plan for ‘scouting’ on Mashie’s behalf?” 

Delisaster stood concealed by magic behind a tree, while Regro and the old bum hid in the bushes (the original plan that Bumfuck had come up with was even worse, and Delisaster had only managed to yell them out of it after threatening to put an Ascalon up Burden’s ass). “Aren’t you just gonna get Pops and yourself caught immediately?”

“Not all of us can be double-liner prodigies like you, you little shit…” Bingus muttered under his breath, yelping when Delisaster kicked him with the heel of his stilettos. Piece of shit couldn’t even get his insults right… Delisaster was a triple liner, thanks very much.  Ahem. Not that anyone knew that right now. Bassinet batted back fruitlessly, unable to see where Delisaster even was. “Fu ck— okay, kid, seriously, the entrance exam’s about to start. You don’t want us to get found out already, do you?”

“I want you to leave us alone and go disappoint your fuckbuddy instead,” Delisaster shot back, but he stayed silent as he watched the examiner commence the start of the exam. It wasn’t someone he recognized, so they probably hadn’t mattered much in the grand scheme of things. It was unfortunate that someone with such low personal value would be the one to decide whether or not Mash got into Easton, but if everything had gone right the first time, then surely it would be alright now too.

They watched from the bushes as the first test was handed out. “Are those written tests…?” Regro muttered, concerned. “But Mash can’t…”

“What can’t that Mushroom Head do?” 

“He’ll be fine,” Delisaster shrugged with more confidence than he felt. “He’ll probably force the letters to do what he wants.”

“He can’t do that, that’s not… possible…” Burger trailed off as he peered through the binoculars he held, blinking rapidly. “That’s… that’s… it’s not…”

“What’d he do?” Regro asked, snatching the binoculars away to look through them himself. “...Ahh… ahh… d-d-did he just…”

Delisaster blinked, then turned to look at his brother, who was standing up at the podium and presenting his paper to the examiner. “Huh? What’d he do?”

“You– How did you know he would do that?!” Bread looked in Delisaster’s direction with an accusatory glare. “He just— he just told the letters to stop moving on his paper and they did!”

…Maybe I underestimated that kid’s ability to fuck shit up, Delisaster considered idly. “Hmm. Ve ry interesting.”

“Hey, you can’t just ignore me!” Delisaster ignored him anyway, eyes firmly fixed on Mash, who had walked over to the side to sit down and start snacking away on one of the creampuffs he had packed that morning. It’s nice how he never changes.

From that point on, Mash somehow managed to find a way to pass each and every test. Delisaster observed with a prickling of awe as Mash ran across a whole lake of water with nothing going for him but his personal strength and triumph over physics. If Mash had been like this at fifteen in his other life, then it was no wonder Domina had lost to him. Doom must have seen his potential too, for him to be so worried.

So when it came to the labyrinth, Delisaster couldn’t muster up the energy to feel worried. It felt a little more like a chore than anything, waiting for his brother to hurry up and get out of the maze so he could go home and take some time off for himself. But as the timer ticked down for the maze’s exit, Delisaster felt a sense of foreboding.

“Do you think they’re trying to keep him out of Easton, somehow…?” Delisaster glanced over at Blister, voice low. His eyes narrowed as a thought occurred to him. “Did they find out about the fake line?”

“No, I made sure it was indistinguishable from a real one… if they’re going to try and keep him out for any reason, it’s probably just because that examiner doesn't like him.” Beryllium answered. It looked like he was worried, too.

Delisaster frowned. “Uh, I could like… I dunno, kill him or something. Would that help?”

“Don’t kill the examiner, Delisaster,” Regro chided.

“Sorry, Pops. Seriously, though… Mash’s cutting it close, isn’t he?” Delisaster had once looked through a book that warned about the consequences of using time magic, but he’d never really taken its words to heart because his only reference of time magic had been Father’s magic, which to him was infallible. But now, he was wondering if there was a possibility of something having gone wrong when he went off course and came to live with Mash and Regro.

There wasn’t any time for him to think on that, though, because Mash came crashing through the maze walls not even a moment after he started having an existential crisis. 

“He just broke through the walls?!” Regro and Buttface yelled alongside the rest of the flabbergasted students, having watched Mash resurface with a blond student behind him.

As the rest of the students started chanting for Mash to ‘ go home’, Delisaster tightened his grip around his wand, knowing that neither Regro nor Brad– oops, wait, that was his real name— Booger could stop him from casting a spell if something went wrong for Mash. He didn’t have to, though— it seemed that the female student standing behind Mash was defending him, even after the examiner started to threaten her to keep quiet. He really only felt shocked after seeing Mash break the examiner’s wand straight in half. Wow, I would not have wanted to fight him after seeing that…

“He just… broke his wand… just like that…?” 

“I almost feel bad for him…” Regro and Balls muttered among themselves as Delisaster kept watching intently. His grip on his wand grew tighter when the examiner started to threaten Mash, but before he could pull out his wand and strike the man down, Wahlberg appeared from the sky and took over the examination.

“Hmm. Well, looks like that’s all wrapped up. Are we good to go home now? I’m tired. ” Delisaster asked to no one in particular, looking over at Britches and Regro.

“We should be ready to go now, yeah—” Bookshelf cut himself off when Regro slumped against him, cold sweat slowly starting to bead at his brow when the old man didn’t move. “Uh, wait. Gramps? Hey, old man…? Seriously, uh, wake up. Your son’s gonna kill me!” 

“Ugh, stop freaking out, dude… your panic is so cringe to listen to.” Delisaster let the invisibility spell around him drop as he knelt down and supported Regro from the side. “I’m familiar with this kinda thing. My Father… uh, the one before Pops… used to do this voodoo doll thing to take out the soul of someone’s most precious person. It’s probably some high level mage like Wahlberg trying to test Mashie or something.”

“That is… not at all comforting,” Beachball said, very obviously. “You’re not worried or anything?”

“ Of course I am,” Delisaster said, with perhaps a little more force than needed. “But I think Mash will be able to deal with it, and if Wahlberg ends up killing Pops because of this silly little test of his, I’ll slice that old relic’s face right in half.” 

“Hahaha… has anyone ever told you how scary you are…?” 

“Oh, no. Not at all. Pops says I’m a bright star of a person and Mash says I’m the best big brother on Earth. Honestly, I think there’s just something wrong with you,” Delisaster said with a shark-toothed smile. “Your face is really ugly when you’re scared, by the way. It looks a bit like you’re gonna piss yourself. You should go do something about that, yeah?” 

He would have said more, but at that moment, Regro’s body seized up, and he suddenly stood upright once more. “Pops, are you alright?” 

“Ah—! Delisaster, oh, yes, I’m fine… I swear, for a moment, I was stuck in some sort of nightmare realm… everyone around me was a creampuff for some reason, and Mash was about to eat us all!” 

“Hmm… sounds like a pretty scary dream. Let’s go home, then.” Seems like Mash’s passed his trial after all, huh? That kid’s really going to go places…

A few weeks after Mash’s entrance exam, Delisaster happened to be downtown shopping again when he happened to spot a familiar figure inside a fairly new pet shop that’d opened a little bit ago.

Is that that serious guy…? Delisaster narrowed his eyes as he got closer to the shop, and… yep, it was the guy who’d killed him. Looking at a bunch of rabbits. What the hell…? Whatever, might as well try and annoy him. Since he shouldn’t want to kill me this time around, I could probably get away with being a nuisance.

Still, even though his mind had been made up to be an obstacle and an annoyance, he hadn’t expected to nearly immediately barrel into the guy as soon as he’d stepped into the shop, knocking into one of the bunnies he’d been holding in his arms. 

“Shit—!” Delisaster grabbed the rabbit before it could fall onto the floor, quickly cradling it in apology and patting its head to calm it down. God fucking dammit, what kind of shitty timing is this? “Sorry, little guy… uh, and, sorry for bumping into you too. You good?”

“...Yeah, I’m fine. Are you alright?”

I’m feeling better than when ‘you’ shot a bunch of swords at me, asshole, Delisaster wanted to say, but it wouldn’t make sense to this version of the guy, and also, he had just barreled into him and the little menagerie of bunnies he’d been carrying around. “Oh, don’t worry about me. I’m doing a-okay. Here’s your little guy back, by the way. Think he’s a bit scared of me.”

“It’s a she,” the serious guy said. “Her name is Chouxe. It said on the display.” 

“Oh,” Delisaster said, feeling a bit embarrassed. He hadn’t expected to be roped into a conversation about bunnies, and he was feeling entirely too awkward to be staying here and having a casual talk with his murderer (on a technicality, but it counted to him ). Still, it felt impolite to suddenly start acting rude to him— and maybe this was also a side effect of his human heart (or maybe a side effect of growing up again with Mash and Regro?) but he also didn’t really want to leave the bunnies, either. They were sorta cute. “Are you gonna buy her? I mean, if she’s up for adoption or something. I don’t go to pet stores often.”

“I already have a lot of bunnies at home and at my office. If you want her, you can have her.”

He did sort of want her, but… “You get to keep pets in your office? What kinda job d’you even work?” Well, I know… but, like, seriously, getting to keep bunnies in your office? Isn’t that way too much leeway for even a Divine Visionary? 

The serious guy looked taken aback for a moment. “Do you… not know who I am?”

Um. Well, this was awkward. Delisaster quickly racked his head for the serious guy’s name— he swore he’d heard Freckles say it during their battle, but maybe he was just too worked up at the time to care…? He turned to look outside, hoping he’d see an advertisement somewhere with the guy’s name (celebrity status and all), but… nope. Nada. Ugh. What a pain… I should’ve just not come to talk with him. “Sorry. I dunno.”

“...Well, I guess it’s better that way. My name is Rayne.” Oh, good. Finally, Delisaster could put a name to the face of his killer. Hooray! That was a totally celebratory cause! 

“Well, I’m Delisaster, but you can call me Delisa. I still dunno what your job is, though?” I already look like an idiot, there’s no harm in digging a bigger grave for myself.

“It’s… a unique job. I get special privileges.” Rayne looked a bit off kilter, but he returned to looking at the bunny Delisaster was still holding. “If you want her, I think she’s up for adoption.  …Have you ever owned a bunny before?”

“Ahh… nope,” Delisaster said. Why the hell am I still talking to this guy…? “I mean, my Pops could barely look after me and my brother. It’d be a bit much to ask for a pet alongside that… but since my little bro’s up and gone off to school now, I could probably get, like, a small animal or something. Rabbit-shaped, preferably.”

“I see… if you need pointers, I could help.” 

“Nah, it’s all good. Wouldn’t wanna disturb you and your busy office-bunny-dad-job life, y’know?” Delisaster grinned, even as his hand twitched at his side, wanting to grab his wand. “I’ll just, like, figure it out myself. You know if they can just ring me up at the counter or do I have to undergo some sorta survey first to check if I’m fit to be a bun parent?”

“This shop is rather new, so I don’t know much about them… I can go and ask with you, if you want.” 

Ugh… whatever. I’m not getting out of this one, am I? Fine, whatever. I get a rabbit out of it, so I don’t care. “Sick! It’ll probably be way easier with Mr. Rabbit Expert by my side. I’m counting on you, man!”

“...I’ll try my best.”

An hour later, Delisaster returned back to the cottage with several bags of rabbit feed, a new cage, and a rabbit in his arms. Regro and Blimp, who were having tea together, had two synchronous heart attacks seeing them, and while Delisaster helped Regro back onto his feet, he just left Blister to lie twitching on the floor.

This Goddamned human heart… it’s so annoying, even after fifteen years. …Still, I guess it’s better than living under Father’s thumb.

Chapter Text

A month or so passed before something seriously of note happened. Delisaster had been chilling in the clearing surrounding the cottage, practicing his magic while making sure to field Chouxe’s attempts at climbing up his polearms when Brick had burst through the door, panting and sweating as if he’d just run a particularly grueling marathon.

“Huff… huff… Hey, Gramps, crazy kid, have you guys heard the news?”

“The hell did you say? Don’t call me that. What’d you do? And Pops isn’t home right now, he’s out downtown.” Delisaster glared at Billiam, who shrunk back slightly from the force of his glare but ended up staying his ground. 

“Your brother… got called in for an official inquest by the Bureau of Magic!”

Delisaster raised an eyebrow as he turned to pluck Chouxe off of where she was attempting to climb up the blade of a stray Ascalon. “And what’s that supposed to mean?”

“It’s… don’t tell me you don’t know what the Bureau of Magic is.” Delisaster stared at him. The name was familiar, sure, but he didn’t have to pay attention to magic realm politics in his previous life, nor had Regro chosen to tell him about the political climate in this life. “Look, it’s like… the government. You know that, right? Even if it’s only for the bit? Well, they know he’s magicless. It’s basically going to be a death sentence, if the Visionaries are on his case…”

Mash must’ve been through this in the past life, too, Delisaster reasoned to himself, but his hand still shook slightly as he stared at Bruno. “I mean, they can’t just, like, sentence him to death or anything, right? Wahlberg seemed like he liked him, and that old fart’s pretty important in the magic world, as far as I remember…”

“Just Headmaster Wahlberg’s vouch probably won’t be enough,” Bichard sighed. “And… in this case… he’s the one who sent for them. Whether he knows it or not, they’ll probably sentence Mushroom Head to death, no matter what anyone else thinks.”

“...He’s not even sixteen yet,” Delisaster muttered. “They’re just gonna sentence a kid to death? What, just like that?”

Brunch shrugged helplessly. “It’s the law. And the Visionaries have to uphold it, no matter what.”

“...How long does it take for the execution to go through? Do they do it immediately?”

“No, I think it takes a few days until they can actually go through with it.”

“Then I’ll just… I’ll just break in and nab Mash. I’ll kill them all if I have to, I know I can do it,” Delisaster said, partly to himself. 

Twenty-seven years and then fifteen more of training his magic had helped him grow exponentially from the skill he’d possessed in his previous life, so he felt rather confident that he’d be able to at least knock out a few Visionaries if not kill them himself… though, he couldn’t remember if he’d ever faced one besides Rayne in his previous life. Had that woman he’d killed in the citadel been a Visionary? 

Well, probably… Father had probably said something about it at one point, but he hadn’t been listening. 

Anyway, he wouldn’t have to do any of that if they didn’t sentence Mash to death. Which they probably wouldn’t. But… it was comforting to think he’d probably be able to help break the kid out if he had to. 

“Still, though… I’m gonna need to get Mashie some sorta communication device. Do you have the funds to buy stuff like that?”

“Uh… I have two rabbiphones you could use…?” Bethesda held up two rabbit-shaped communication devices.

“Yeah, ‘kay, that’ll do,” Delisaster snatched them straight out of his hand, juggling them between his hands idly. “Gimme that. I’m dragging that kid back home and making him take this with him so he can call the next time he gets nearly sentenced to death.”

As it turned out, he didn’t have to drag Mash back home, because his brother returned not even three days after the whole ‘execution scare’.

“Hi, Pops, big brother— oof.” Mash barely managed to dodge the Ascalon that Delisaster sent flying at him when he came back, and then barely managed to dodge the rabbiphone he sent flying at him immediately after. “Sorry. Are you mad about me getting almost executed?”

“Mad? Course not! What could possibly make you think that I’m mad, Mashie?” Delisaster said, madder than he thought he’d ever been before, even when he'd been on the verge of dying. Regro and Beyonce both stood at a safe distance behind him, motioning for Mash to be quiet. “I am so incredibly happy to see my precious, sweet little brother who keeps trying to get himself killed before he even turns sixteen !”

“Sorry… I brought creampuffs.” Mash held up a bag of creampuffs at Delisaster, who just stared at him.

“Do I look like Pops to you, Mashie? Creampuffs are so not gonna cut it.” 

“...I brought my friends with me?”

The door opened from behind, and four people, who seemed like they were waiting outside just for the right moment to enter came in. “Excuse us…” / “Huh, is that Mash’s older brother? They don’t look really alike…” / “Who cares if they don't look alike? Don’t be an idiot about it, they’re brothers!”

“I-It can’t be… friends…?! My boy… I can’t believe he’s finally got friends…! Delisaster, look! Your little brother’s got friends!” Regro burst out into tears from behind, shocked and relieved. Delisaster was shocked too, but it was a different reason for him— that was, seeing Freckles in the group of ‘friends’ that had come with Mash was a rather shocking sight for him. So, this meant that Mash was friends with his killer’s brother…? Wait, actually, that made a lot more sense. Delisaster had pegged him as sorta a coward, so it hadn’t made sense that Rayne would bring him into battle with him. 

Regro was still blubbering from behind him when Delisaster finally finished his pondering to realize that he had been staring for the past minute at the group, who looked a little unnerved. “U-uh, hi, sir… we’re Mash’s friends… uhm. Sorry, part of the reason his identity got exposed was because of us…” Freckles spoke hesitantly, the rest of the group nodding along with him.

“Don’t worry about it, honest!” Regro said, striding forward to hug Mash and greet the rest of the kids. “I’m just glad my boy finally went out and made friends… we were so worried he wouldn’t be able to socialize, but he’s gone and found himself a great group of people to be around…”

Delisaster rolled his eyes when they still didn’t speak, waving a hand. “What, are you all nervous cause of me? You kids are fine. Mashie, I’m upset with, cause he didn’t even think to tell us that he was getting detained and possibly executed and I had to hear that all from this freeloading bastard… but, y’know, it’s nice to hear that he’s got friends. Woulda sucked if he was some sorta shut-in loner at magic boarding school.” 

“Oh, actually, we’re not all technically friends. I’m his rival,” the red haired one said. 

“He’s even got a rival…” 

“Oh, yes! It’s nice to meet you, father and brother-in-law! My name is Lemon,” The blond girl who had been with Mash in the entrance exam bowed to Delisaster and Regro, who looked at each other with a sense of foreboding in their expressions. “I’m Mash’s future wife!”

“Right…” Delisaster squinted and looked over at Mash, who was stuffing his mouth with the creampuffs he’d denied earlier. “You’re engaged?” Predictably, his brother didn’t respond.

“Mash has a fiancée already…?! …I would’ve expected this from Delisa, but…”

“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean, Pops?”

“Ah, don’t worry— we haven’t held hands, so we remain pure.”

Alright, so he isn't actually engaged… she’s just delusional. Cool, cool, that’s cool… Delisaster shook his head, relieved. “Well, what about the rest of you, then?”

“W-we’re just regular friends!” Freckles bowed. “Um, I’m Finn, by the way… this is Dot, and that’s Lance,” he pointed to the red and blue one respectively. Delisaster filed their names into the back of his head, but he didn’t think he’d be using them anytime soon. On purpose, just to fuck with them. “You don’t have to worry about Mash’s grades, he’s doing rather well in school.”

“He is?” Delisaster looked back over at his brother, considering. Freckles looked dismayed at his lack of faith in Mash. “I’d expect that for his physicals, but… ah, well. As long as he’s not failing, then I guess anything counts as good.” 

“Yes… as long as it’s not a failing grade, it’s all good,” Regro nodded sagely. “Ah, you guys should sit down! We weren’t expecting guests, but…”

“Oh, I’ve brought herbal tea, for housewarming purposes.”

“Stop it, that’s not your shtick,” the blue one told the red one, who glared at him. “Here. This is from me.” He pulled out a pile of printed t-shirts, fans and photos with a little blue-haired girl’s face on them and handed half each to Delisaster and Regro. “It’s merch.”

“Er… of who, exactly?” Delisaster questioned.

“My little sister.”

“ WHY?!”

“He hasn’t learned yet that everyone’s got different priorities,” Mash chimed in. 

Deliaster narrowed his eyes at the kid, who ducked apologetically. “Right… and speaking of ‘different priorities’, take this rabbiphone. You’re gonna use that thing to tell me and Pops the next time you nearly get yourself declared an enemy of the state.”

“They didn’t make me an enemy of the state, though…” Mash muttered. 

“Just take the damn thing, kid,” Delisaster sighed, shoving the thing into his stubborn little brother’s hands. “Oh, speaking of rabbits, do you want to meet Chouxe? She’s a bunny I took in after you left for school. Named after your creampuff obsession, fittingly enough.” 

“Sure. Can the others see her too?” 

“She’s not some sort of magical artifact, you don’t need to ask to see her, y’know,” Delisaster nudged Mash playfully. “Chouxe’s in the room over. I’ll go and take—” He cut himself off as he felt a tremor underneath his feet, narrowing his eyes at the odd feeling. “Did you hear that, Mash?”

“Hear what?”

“...Right, you go and take your friends to see Chouxe. She’s over by the kitchen. Feed her some carrots and lettuce, she really likes that sorta stuff. I need to go out and check if someone’s set off some sort of trap outside.”

“Alright. You’ll stay safe, right?” Mash asked. Rather hypocritically, for the record, but Delisaster decided to humor him anyway.

“Yeah, yeah, I will. Have fun with your friends.”

It took a bit of wandering before he finally stumbled across the source of the noise. A piano… and a bald kid? Oh, that’s Mr. Serious. What the hell is going on here? 

“Oh, I wouldn’t attack, if I were you. They’ll explode in response to your casting.” Delisaster had no idea what the kid was talking about, considering he couldn’t see too much from his position in the trees, but he bet it was some sort of spell. Why the hell was this kid and the serious guy fighting in the forest? Did it have something to do with Mash?

“Rayne Ames… do you know why we desire stimulation? Art, love, sports, drinking, gambling…. None of these things are necessary to live a normal life.” Who is this guy? Maybe we should hire them as Famin’s therapist. God knows that freak needs it. 

“So why do we seek them? It’s simple. Because boredom… is death.” Never-fucking-mind! They’re just as unhinged as Famin is!

“We live our lives in pursuit of that rush.” No the hell we don’t. “But you… you’re awfully easygoing, meddling in others business. You bore me. I can’t imagine someone like you could ever fulfill me.”

For some reason, Delisaster felt a level of indignance at those words. It was the serious guys like Rayne that made living fun! How could you possibly ever go your life without knowing one straight man? (In the comedy aspect, but sexually straight men were fun to mess with too.) Still, this wasn’t really his problem.

“Be a dear and move aside, will you? I’ve just got to see Mash Burnedea—”

Delisaster’s wand was in his hand before he even registered the words fully, an Ascalon immediately landing on the spot where the bald kid had been standing the second before.

“Oho? Who’s there?” The bald kid called. Tch.. looks like I didn’t get them after all. “Yoohoo! Mysterious interloper?” 

“Mysterious interloper? Shouldn’t I be calling you that?” Delisaster frowned as he stepped out of the cover of the trees, another shower of Ascalons falling down on the kid as he glared darkly. “What business do you have with my kid brother, huh?”

“...So, Mash Burnedead has an older brother, does he?” A wide grin split across their face, and Delisaster felt a shudder of revulsion at how closely it resembled his older brother. Estranged older brother, that was. “I see… how fun. Now, things have gotten interesting.”

“Get the fuck away from Mash. I’m not asking.” 

A hand landed on his shoulder just as Delisaster raised his wand and cast another shower of Ascalons. He whirled around violently, hand only staying still because of the tight grip Rayne kept on his wrist.

“Let me take care of this. You’re a civilian, so you shouldn’t fight them. They’ll just pin a crime on you if you try to defend your brother.” 

Delisaster stared at him. “Aren’t you… also a civilian?” Please just think I’m stupid and let me fight. Please. I need to beat this kid up for what he said about Mash.

“That’s… no, I…” Rayne just shook his head, sighing. “I’m… I have special permission. From Wahlberg. So I’ll take this battle.” Goddammit.

“Take this battle, Rayne? It seems to me that you should just be leaving us two alone,” the bald kid smiled, before turning his gaze onto Delisaster, who scowled, though his wand hand stayed down. “ You certainly seem like a more fun opponent than Rayne. How about we—”

“I said, I’ll take care of this.” Rayne glared at the bald kid as he moved in front of Delisaster, as if he was trying to shield him from view. It was a bit of a hopeless endeavour, considering Delisaster was wearing eight inch heels, but he supposed it was the thought that counted. “Mash Burnedead… he’s a brazen kid. Brazen enough to look me in the eyes and tell me he wants to change the system… I’ll make sure he goes as far as he can.”

Delisaster watched with minimal (okay, alright, an average amount of ) awe as the serious guy’s face split as his third mark grew, privately impressed by his resolve. 

Was this event also what had triggered his third line awakening in his past life? It clearly hadn’t been his first time wielding a God’s power when he’d done it in their fight, so… huh. It was fighting against this Famin ripoff that had awakened it for him… somehow, that made more sense than it should’ve.

“Ahh… the summer… of bliss…” The weird kid was crying tears of joy now. Delisaster really didn’t want to be here right now. “What a blessing it is… to see such a miracle happen in front of my own eyes…”

“Did Orter Madl put you up to this?” Rayne asked, completely ignoring the insane ramblings of the kid in front of them. “It’s not like you to take an interest in school affairs. This pretty much has to be Orter’s doing.”

“Dear me, what are you inferring?” I’d like to know that too. 

“The kid you’re after, Mash Burnedead… he can’t use magic. He might as well have no rights. Who wouldn’t despair at that reality? Becoming jealous of those who could use magic… regretting that he was ever even born… hating society… those would all be reasonable reactions. But Mash Burnedead doesn’t think like that. That kid… he fights against his fate.”

Delisaster opened his mouth to add something to the conversation, too, but… there was something to his left, out of the corner of his eye. He frowned, eyes widening when he realized who was there. Just the peek of the giant creampuff he was holding his hands was enough to identify Mash.

“Little shit…” he muttered under his breath, turning his attention back to Rayne and the bald kid. I’ll deal with that misbehaving little brother of mine when they finish their little pissing contest.

“Ahh… I can hear the sounds of the crowd now. Sounds Orchestra! ” A loud, harmonious string of music suddenly blasted through the area. If Delisaster hadn’t been a triple liner, he probably wouldn’t have been able to stand his ground under the assault of such powerfully wielded magic. “You’ll have to cast now. And it’ll be quite difficult for you, trying to protect someone as well… haha. The match is practically in my hand… check. ”

A blast of magic from Rayne cut off the kid’s musing, and Delisaster too raised an eyebrow at the display. At the time, when he’d been fighting the serious guy, it hadn’t seemed like anything at all, in comparison to the skill of his brothers or even his own abilities, with how injured he was. But now, he could see the brilliance of the polearm that Rayne held in his arms. 

“Summon… Ares, God of War! Black Partisan!”

A large blade crafted of dark magic suddenly swung down on the forest clearing in front of them, splitting the forest floor in two and releasing a large cloud of black miasma. Once it cleared, the bald kid was nowhere to be seen.

“Checkmate.”

Delisaster blinked, before he brought his hands together in a polite clapping motion. “You’re very skilled. I didn’t expect that.”

“It’s nothing.” 

I can’t believe he’s trying to be humble after he just said something that cringe in front of me… Delisaster almost wanted to laugh, but looking at the way Rayne looked away embarrassedly, he couldn’t bring himself to make fun of the poor guy. “Well, thanks for looking out for me and all. I wouldn’t have wanted to end up in wizard jail.”

“...Yes, and I wouldn’t have wanted to see you there either,” Rayne said. “Well, I guess I should get going. I have some bunnies I need to take care of.”

“Ah, before you go…” Delisaster held out a hand to stop him, and turned back toward the forest. “Mashie, don’t you have something to say to Mr. Partisan here?” 

His brother sheepishly stepped out from behind the clump of trees he had been hiding in, looking at Delisaster with a hesitant expression. “Um… thank you… and sorry, big brother, for coming out here…”

“Don’t apologize, it was all fine in the end. Now, if you’d gone out here and no one had been here to help you and you’d been hurt… I’d have you writing apology letters til your hand fell off, little man. But it’s all good. Thanks for your help, Rayne. Really.” It hurt his heart a little to say thank you to the man who had killed him, but he supposed it had to be said, if only for Mash’s sake.

“It’s nothing. Don’t mention it.” He started for the exit of the forest, before pausing. “The selection exam is soon, Mash Burnedead.”

“...Yep.” Mash answered. 

“I’ve never been good at encouraging people. But I’ll say this: you’re embarking on a challenge the likes of which this world has never seen. Nothing good will come of your failure. So win, and give your challenge meaning.”

“...’Kay.”

Rayne nodded, and turned around again. “Just remember that. And, also… you should stop worrying your brother so much. It's lucky to have someone who loves you that much.”

Delisaster blinked at the retreating figure. “Huh. I didn’t know he was chill like that.”

“So he does like rabbits…” Mash mumbled quietly from behind him. 

“What was that?”

“Ah, nothing…” They both stared off into the distant trees for a moment before Delisaster gave the kid a rough noogie, purposely messing up Mash’s hair.

“So, about school… you're doing well then, I suppose? Having fun with your friends?”

“Yeah. They're nice.” Mash thought for a moment. “It'd be nice if you and Pops were with me at school, but I thought it was fun getting to know them.”

“That's good, then,” Delisaster nodded. “That's all I really wanted to know. Bring your rabbiphone with you for the next stage of the exam, alright? Just call me if you need anything.”

“I will.”

“You won’t.”

“I’ll… try my best to?” Mash tilted his head.

“Well, good enough,” Delisaster sighed. “Alright, then. Let’s get back home. I’m sure your friends are worried about where you’ve run off to this time.”

(They weren’t, but Regro scolded both of them for running off to God knows where. Even though it was hardly the first— nor would it be the last, Delisaster felt a bloom of warmth in his chest at the gesture.)

Chapter Text

A day before Mash’s next exam stage, Delisaster went back to the pet store. 

It was for a purely business thing that he’d come— Chouxe had run out of the rabbit food mix he’d gotten when he first bought her, so she had been grazing on the grass outside their cottage for the past two days, and Delisaster was starting to worry about her diet. He hadn’t expected to see Rayne idling around in the rabbits section again, but when he stepped inside, that was exactly what he found. 

“Huh. You’re here again?” 

It had been a few weeks since Mash’s visit at the start of his end-of-semester break, and Delisaster hadn’t expected to see the guy out and about so soon after, with his government duties and all. “Do you just come to visit the bunnies here every chance you get?”

“Well, more or less.” Rayne said. Delisaster thought for a moment that he was just going to leave it at that, and made to turn, before he spoke again. “They’re good for my… mental health. And this shop specifically… sometimes there’s good company.”

Delisaster blinked. 

He hadn’t taken the serious guy to be the type to hit people up at a rabbit shop, but he supposed that it made sense, when he thought about it a little more. After all, it wasn’t as if he was drowning in sex appeal while working 24/7 shifts for the Bureau. Maybe it was the introverted aura he had around him, but he had figured that Rayne had only come here to look at the rabbits. “Oh, I get that. Then I guess you know all the stock and stuff here well? I’m here to pick up feed for Chouxe, but I’ve got, like, absolutely no clue where I should even start looking, ya feel? The little guy’s just been grazing on the grass outside and Pops is starting to get concerned about her diet.”

“I don’t think there’s anything to worry about if she’s eating grass, but…” Rayne led him deeper into the store until they happened upon a wall of pet food, and selected a package that he handed to Delisaster. “This should last for a little longer next time. Most of my rabbits like this specific pet food, but some of them are pickier and will only eat raw vegetables.”

“Picky eater rabbits, eh? Well, now I guess I’ve seen everything,” Delisaster chuckled. He took a few more packs of the food, just in case. “Thanks for the save, though. Seriously… this is, like, the second time you’ve done me a big favor? I’ll have to pay you back sometime.” 

Wait. Why the hell did I just say that???? I do not want to owe him shit! That guy chopped my head off!! 

“It’s nothing. I was just doing my job.”

“Well, this one time, then. You don’t work here, do you? So it’s not your job to point out the rabbit feed… which means I totally owe you for this one, at least!” I need to go and wash my mouth out with bleach. Eugh… I can’t believe I roped myself into owing my murderer.

“...If you say so.”

“You’re terrible at ending conversations, you know that?” Delisaster laughed. “Alright, though. I won’t keep you longer— let me know if there’s anything I can do for you, though. Seriously, you’re a huge lifesaver.” More like a life- end er.

“I…” Rayne paused, as if he was about to say something. Delisaster paused, waiting for him to finish. “Is… do you have any other places you like to frequent downtown?”

“Uh, like… what d’you mean? You want a recommendation for like, a restaurant or something?” Delisaster paused, thinking for a second. “Mmm… I get creampuffs from the one confectionery down by the railroad intersection for Mash. Dunno if they’re actually any good, because he likes anything so long as its creampuff shaped… and, ah, I do like alcohol from Dumont Place. Their aged wines are super good. For cooking and for drinking, in case you were wondering. I think most of the time when I’m downtown I’m actually at the bookstore, cause Pops likes to read a lot and he’s been getting on in age recently, so I’ve been the one to go out and get his materials. They don’t have, like, a bad pick of books, and they’re not too expensive, either, so if you ever get bored of defending teenagers from mean opera conductors you can go and check them out.”

“...I see. Thank you. I’ll take that as a favor repaid,” Rayne said, and before Delisaster could even tell him to wait, he’d left the store with a bunny still in his arms.

“...Did he just steal a rabbit from the pet store?”

Well. At least he didn’t owe a favor (that he had originally imposed upon himself) to his murderer anymore. Delisaster would take a win where he could get it.

On the actual day of Mash’s exam, Delisaster had dragged out three large-panelled magic Rafflesian mirrors onto the lawn outside Regro’s cottage and plopped himself cross-legged on the grass in front of the mirrors, Chouxe cuddled up in his skirts. 

“It’s bullshit that they don’t let anyone watch the exams unless they’re inside the Academy, honestly.” Was it like this when I went to Walkis? He couldn’t remember, it was all a lifetime ago. “Are you gonna watch too, Pops?”

“I feel like I owe it to Mash to,” Regro said, dragging a chair over to the mirrors where Delisaster sat in the grass. 

Like this, on a sunny day in the middle of the clearing, Delisaster almost felt he was eleven-slash-twenty seven years old again, having run out in the middle of the night with nothing but a thin cloak over his shoulders and a baby in his arms. The scars on his chest had never quite healed properly where he’d scratched and torn at his skin, the angry gashes of dark red serving as a further tether to the humanity he thought he’d lost years ago.

It was still such a wonder to him, how Regro had taken in the two children on his doorstep so readily. Eleven year old Delisaster was still a double liner, even if he was injured and panting, and Regro had taken such a large risk to think that he wouldn’t stab him the moment his back was turned.

“...Pops, do you ever regret taking the two of us in?” 

He’d been wondering that since the moment Mash had been found. In his last lifetime… had the old man also stood by Mash’s side even after he’d been found out? Even after his life had been at risk, several times, just for the crime of taking in a magicless child? He hadn’t even known about Mash’s past, had he? 

So if he’d known, if he’d grown to see the dangers of keeping them around…

“I don’t. I could never.”

Why?

As if Regro could see Delisaster’s confusion written out on his face, he laughed lightly as he settled into the seat beside him. “That day that I found you and Mash… I had been contemplating simply leaving this earth. You know, your old Pops wasn’t very good at much of anything… I came from an old noble family, and they were more than unimpressed with my lack of magical skill. Even with this single line, I may as well have been a lackmagic myself.”

“When you and Mash had showed up at my doorstep that day… well, I considered it fate. There was no way I could simply leave two children to fend for themselves, no matter how talented and skilled you were.” Regro looked solemn for a second, his voice growing softer as he continued, “And… you probably don’t remember, but there was a bit of a scary look on your face the day I found you. It was… I’m not sure how to describe it, but… you looked lonely. What sort of adult would abandon a child with that sort of look in their eyes?”

“Lonely, huh…” Delisaster considered it, idly rubbing at Chouxe’s ears as he thought aloud. “...You know, Pops, there are a lot of adults out there who wouldn’t even have given us a second glance. I don’t think it’s something natural that you did… but I’m glad you took us in.”

I’m glad to have found this peace, even if it was only for a few years. His human heart beat inside his chest, almost like an omen— 

Father is coming back for us soon.

“I am too,” Regro said. “I could never regret taking you two in, no matter how much trouble you caused.”

There was something else Delisaster wanted to say to the man, but he was cut off by the sound of cheering coming through the mirror, and they both turned their attention to it. The announcer had started to narrate the proceedings of the match, quick and to the point.

“Elimination’s the name of the game! What better way to do that than with a survival match?!” 

“I feel like there’s better ways than trying to hunt down highschoolers with monsters, but you do you, I guess,” Delisaster muttered to himself, but he watched intently all the same as the mirrors followed Mash’s path through the Deadervant’s Haunt. When everyone else in the audience— including Regro— screamed at Mash’s decision to punch the Deadervant out of commission, Delisaster simply laughed. It was rather concerning to see the redheaded boy stabbing himself to take Mash’s teammate out of commission, but Delisaster comforted himself by reasoning that the kid wouldn’t be able to hurt Mash no matter how much he tried. 

“Are they not even going to give them a chance to rest…?” Delisaster muttered as they watched the students clearing out of the arena as the announcer set up the next trial. “If they’re running the next match in thirty minutes they won’t even have a chance to rest after the preliminaries.”

“It should be fine, for Mash…” Regro commented hesitantly, though he was also clearly nervous. “He’s always been a strong boy. Surely he’ll be able to get through this.”

“I know, but…” Delisaster sighed. “Well, he’ll do well for sure. Even if he gets a little roughed up, it’s nothing Mashie can’t take.”

Of course, once Mash and the rest of the competitors were back in the view of the Rafflesian Mirrors, he (and the red-headed kid) immediately dropped their crystals, breaking them. “...So, looks like it’s all up to Freckles now.” 

For the next hour, Delisaster and Regro were basically on the edge of their seats (metaphorically, because Delisaster was actually in the grass) as they watched Mash (and Freckles) struggling against the red-headed boy. Delisaster grimaced when the boy stabbed himself over and over, each and every injury reflecting onto Freckles, who writhed in pain on the floor, completely helpless to each strike. 

He wondered idly why Freckles didn’t heal himself… before remembering that he hadn’t yet been able to do that until the two brothers fought against him.

“Wouldn’t it have been so much easier if he’d just learned to heal here?” Delisaster whispered to Chouxe. Predictably, she didn't respond, because she was a rabbit. Still, whether or not he was making solo commentary with an audience of one furry animal, it was definitely entertaining to watch Mash crashing in like a knight on horseback just to tennis-racket Nurse Boy in the head. “He should try doing that to Doom… I think he’s got a Master Cane too.”

“Who’s Doom?”

“No one important.” Delisaster’s eyes fixed on Mash as they exited the course, narrowing his eyes when he noticed the way that the bald kid he’d seen in the forest looked at his little brother. “Pops, on a scale of one to ten, how mad would you be at me if I went and beat that kid up?”

“Which one?” Regro asked, sounding a little worried as he waited for Delisaster’s answer.

“The bald one. With the music marks on their eyes.” 

“Oh, well… I would rather you didn’t beat up a high schooler, but if they hurt Mash, then…” Regro frowned. “I’ll look the other way.”

“Pfft… really? You’re giving me a lot of leeway here…” Delisaster laughed. “Well, then again, I might not have to do anything after all. Mash’ll probably get through this all on his own.”

For a little bit, it seemed like Mash had everything under control, too. The bald kid— well, no longer bald kid after their metamorphosis, Delisaster supposed— had been beaten rather soundly, and it was clear that Mash would be the winner of their round. That was, until the image on the mirrors froze in place, as if someone had pressed ‘pause’ on the world’s surroundings.

“What just happened?” Regro furrowed his brows, looking confused and concerned. “Did the Rafflesian mirror stop working?”

“No, that’s not it…” Delisaster felt his heart drop as he saw a familiar figure walk on screen. He gently picked Chouxe up, setting her on the grass and getting to his feet, albeit with a shaky stance. “It’s… Pops, get back inside the building. I’m going to go help Mash.”

“Wait, what? Delisaster, what is going on?” Regro grabbed him by the arm, but the feel of his adoptive father’s frail limbs on his wrist did nothing to calm Delisaster down. It only served as a reminder as to how fragile this peaceful life of his was. “Delisa, please… tell me what’s going on. I want to help you and Mash, no matter what.”

“Pops, just… I’ll explain later, alright? I… Mash is in big trouble, and I need to go and help him.” Delisaster’s eyes were fixed on the image of his Father. It was a similar feeling to the way he’d felt fifteen years ago, staring down at Mash’s cradle and thinking about the inevitable fallout of his next decision, but somehow it was the complete opposite at the same time. A feeling of awe, but twisted inside out and emptied. 

Father had always felt cold to him, even before he had died, but now, miles away from the stadium Mash was trapped in and staring at the image of his Father with the support of the too-kind old man who had taken in a boy with blood on his hands…

He felt frozen down to his feet.

“I understand, but…” Regro chose that moment to step forward and pull Delisaster into a hug. 

It was awkward, given the height difference between them that was only amplified by Delisaster’s large platform boots, but it filled him with warmth anyway. “You should stay safe as well, Delisaster. I don’t want to see either of you two hurt.”

“...I’ll do what I can.”

He had already wasted enough time by now, and he really didn’t want to break down crying in front of his Pops (nor did he want to break down crying in front of the enemy, really, but it was probably better to cry on a battlefield and throw off your enemies than cry in front of your dad ), so Delisaster let himself indulge in the hug for a moment longer before ripping himself away and performing a quick teleportation incant, landing in the middle of the stadium frozen in time, only to see a few of the students already fighting away at the monsters Father had planted in the stadium, and…

“Delisaster. So you were here all along.” 

What the fuck was Doom doing here? Delisaster’s eyes widened, but he tried not to let his surprise show. He couldn’t remember Doom having been sent to the attack on the stadium last time, but then again, his memory was blurry… either way, this pondering of timeline mishaps was something he could dwell on later. Right now, he had to make sure that his older brother didn’t get it in his head to go after any of the kids on the battlefield.

“Uhh, dunno how I feel about the phrasing there, big guy… I’m not the one creeping around a highschool and going after a teenaged boy.”

Doom clearly didn’t take his joking well. “Delisaster. Not only did you run away from home and take two of Father’s precious hearts with you, but you also want to make a fool of Father’s wishes?” 

“There’s really no getting through to you at all, is there?” Delisaster sighed dramatically. “Seriously, could you stop being such a daddy’s boy?”

Doom’s fists clenched, and that was the only warning Delisaster got before his sword swung down at him. 

He had barely a second to react, a large Ascalon just barely managing to drive off his brother’s Caladbolg. Living two lifetimes had given him ample time to refine his technique, but even still… Doom was still a formidable opponent, and he wasn’t sure if he could beat him if Doom’s personal magic came into play— besides, he’d only ever fought against Doom in a non-lethal combat situation, and he’d always gone easy on him, so there was no way of knowing just how far he had to go to surpass his brother’s power. Delisaster’s only option here was to drive him off before he took notice of the others fighting below them.

“Wow, old man, are you getting rusty or something?” Delisaster smirked as he parried the swings of Doom’s sword. Even though the insult probably wouldn’t affect the man at all, it was nice to get in a snarky remark or two. “Father’s teachings don’t seem so infallible if you’re losing to your baby brother, huh?”

“You’re far too overconfident in your own skills,” Doom said, pulling back before readjusting his stance. Even from a distance, Delisaster could tell that he was starting to get serious. “ Twenty percent … even if you’ve improved since childhood, it means nothing to me.”

“Tch…” Delisaster frowned, also backing up and maintaining distance by flying up on an Ascalon before waving his wand and continuing to cast. “Aren’t you the overconfident one, blindly swinging your own sword without putting any sort of skill behind it?”

Doom frowned. “What would you know about skill?”

Of course, he’d bring up meaningless anecdotes from childhood because it’s all he remembers of me… Delisaster grimaced. 

Out of the corner of his eye, he suddenly noticed the small figure of Mash standing below him, a questioning look on his face, and he minutely shook his head to convey to him to keep at his own battle. Which… seemed to be with Cell War…? He'd almost forgotten about his old caretaker… Delisaster wasn't sure what to feel about that. He quickly returned his attention back to Doom when the older man swung particularly hard at him, hissing when the blade struck flesh.

“You’re distracted,” Doom noted. “Is it that child that Father wants? He’s defeating Cell War right now, isn’t he?”

“Seriously, sometimes I doubt that you’re blind at all when you say shit like that…” He scowled. “Yeah, it’s him.”

“He seemed skilled. Quite good at thinking on his feet, and his strength is impressive for a mere student… it’s even more impressive to see his lack of magic. It seems that Father’s ability runs deep… he might even be able to defeat Cell War, difficult though it may be.”

“It’s not Father’s doing that Mash is so skilled,” Delisaster snarled back defensively, his attacks suddenly increasing in power. Doom seemed taken aback by his sudden change in demeanor, adjusting his stance into a defensive position as Delisaster’s Ascalons began to rain down on him harder. “That’s his own ability and training, not some deadbeat’s blood amplifying his power. You called me unskilled? If you and Mash went up against each other, he’d dust you. Even after fighting another powerful student, he can easily take down Cell War.”

“I didn’t think I’d ever hear you of all people saying that,” Doom said, at once sounding contemplative, his voice staying steady even as they both continued to fight. “What a change you’ve had, from that spoiled youngest child who used to throw fits and tantrums when he didn’t get what he wanted. It’s a shame that you’re still not strong enough to challenge me on an equal playing field… but your improvement has been good. Fifty percent… I'll stop you here.”

Delisaster grit his teeth, his hand clenching his wand tightly. There wasn’t enough space now to cast Gigantomachia… if he did try and cast his Thirds, he could very well hurt the crowd down below, which included a few of Mash's friends. There was no choice but for him to keep fighting back normally.

And yet, as he readied his next attack, Doom suddenly turned to the sky, completely disregarding the fact that Delisaster still had a wand in his hand. It was more or less the height of disrespect Doom would give anyone, a way of saying that no matter what attack they made while his back was turned, he could counter it. 

“It seems that Cell War has been defeated by Mash Burnedead. Father needs me… so I suppose that I’ll take my leave for now. The next time we meet, I hope you can improve enough to truly face me, Delisaster.” 

With that, his oldest brother and Father were gone, presumably having taken Cell War and the others they'd brought with them. 

“What a jackass… can’t believe I used to think he was all that. Ugh… wish I had some fucking scales on me right now. It could at least be funny. ” Delisaster muttered, letting himself fall back to ground level, before he noticed the ‘gift’ Father had left for the stadium after time unfroze. 

He barely had enough time to register the monster’s presence and the cheering of the stadium before Mash pulled the giant abomination backwards by its chain, suplexing it and knocking it out and down for the count. A distant explosion sounded from the mountains where they had landed, and the cheering grew even louder when they noticed.

“Huh… well, I guess that’s one problem down.” He turned to approach his younger brother, who was busy celebrating with his friends.

“I see Cellie wasn't much of a problem for you,” Delisaster said to Mash as he approached the teens, who turned to look at him.  “Hey, little guys. Listen, can I talk to Mashie alone for a moment?” 

“Oh, yeah!” / “It’s all fine, we’ll go.” / “Don’t worry about it!” 

The group of kids went off to talk among each other, and Delisaster turned back toward his brother, ruffling the kid’s hair. “You did a good job, Mashie. It looks like I wasn’t really needed here after all, huh?”

“I did manage with the thorny guy, but I don’t think I could’ve fought against the vent guy you went after,” Mash said. “You helped a lot. Thanks, big brother.” 

“You get a lot sweeter after you finish beating someone up, huh?” Delisaster laughed a little, though he grew somber again. “Listen, that big guy… wait, did you call him vent guy?”

“Yeah. Cause he’s wearing a vent cover on his face.”

“Pfft… okay, yeah, I’ll use that. Vent guy is actually… our oldest brother, technically,” Delisaster shrugged. “We have three other brothers, and they’re all rather annoying, but he’s the worst. He’s always going on and on about power and strength… anyway, they’ll all stand in your way, later on. It’ll be annoying, but… don’t try and get everything done yourself, got it? I’ll be here to help you, and you’ve got friends who want to support you too. Do your best to rely on the people around you… not that you haven’t been doing that already, but I don’t want you to forget that. Alright?”

“‘Kay. And, just for the record…” Mash started, “No matter what sort of blood relation we have, my only family is you and Pops. So, I’m not going to think of them as my ‘siblings.’ If anyone disagrees, I’ll have to talk to them with my fists.”

“Well, that’s…” Delisaster shook his head fondly, laughing just a little. It’s exactly as he always was. “Right, I should’ve expected that from you. Well.. watch out, anyway. Do your best to have fun at school, alright? I’ll do my best to help if anything else happens. And call, next time.”

“...Oops. I forgot I had that rabbiphone… oof.”

“If you forget again, I swear to God I’ll feed you to Chouxe.”

Chapter Text

Somehow, Delisaster found himself bumping into Rayne again. It was starting to become a noticeable (and, to his surprise, a not all too unwelcome) pattern, and Delisaster didn’t know what he thought about it. This time, it wasn’t at the petstore, but rather in the bookstore he had recommended to the guy last time. 

He’d been there to pick up a new copy of the latest book series Pops had taken a liking to— this one newly very popular comic about a boy avenging his father’s death, and had grown popular rather quickly, so Delisaster had resolved to arrive early to get a copy in before fans started to swarm. Surprisingly, though, when he arrived, it was practically empty— unusually so, considering the new releases it had on its shelves. The only people he could spot at first glance were the cashier and an old lady milling around mindlessly looking at the newspapers.

Soon enough, though, he’d found the culprit of the emptiness rather quickly. Rayne stood in front of one of the bookshelves, the exact book that Delisaster had meant to grab for his Pops in his hands.

“Hey, Mr. Serious! You actually decided to check out my recommendation?” Delisaster greeted Rayne, who seemed surprised by the ‘new’ nickname, but didn’t react otherwise. “Huh… I didn’t peg you as a comic book type of person.” 

“You’d be right. I’m… not really a comics sort of person,” Rayne admitted. “My coworker recommended that I try comics, though… her exact words were for me to, ‘read some shoujo manga so that I could experience having feelings.’” 

Delisaster snorted despite himself, looking away to hide his amusement. “Well… can’t say it’s not a solid plan, I guess. Cheesy romance comics are pretty fun to look through, right?”

“I wouldn’t know. I didn’t get to read many books when I was young. I didn't have the time nor the money.” Rayne flipped through the comic book again, looking forlorn as he scanned the expressions of happiness on the character’s faces. “...Sorry, I hadn’t meant to bring that up so bluntly.”

“Eh, don’t worry about it.” Delisaster was surprised Rayne had decided to say anything about his childhood in front of him, even if it was just vaguely melancholic lore dropping, but it wasn’t like he couldn’t relate to having a rather abnormal childhood. “I didn’t really read too many books when I was younger, either. My Father… the one I had before Pops… he didn’t give us too much leeway.”

“...Are you talking about Innocent Zero?” 

“Ah, so you knew already? Did Mashie tell you?” Delisaster forced himself to laugh a little, feeling a bit awkward. The reality of the situation started to sink in for him once again— he’d become much more comfortable around Rayne than he’d realized, apparently. So much so that he’d nearly forgotten who killed him last time. “Yeah, well. He's not exactly Father of the Year material, if you know what I mean.”

“...I heard you fought him in the arena at the Divine Visionary Exam.”

Did he want to know more about what happened with Father and Doom? Makes sense to root for information, but… Delisaster just couldn't figure this guy out. First lore drops, now government interrogation tactics? Talk about major whiplash. “I didn’t fight Father. I couldn’t have possibly won against him.”

Rayne looked confused, so Delisaster elaborated. “I fought my older brother. My… oldest brother, that is. He was… more difficult of a challenge than I’d expected.” 

It was a bit of understatement to say that, really. Even now, the wounds that Doom’s Caladbolg had left on his arms hadn’t yet healed, still raw and burning to the touch even under the layers and layers of gauze and bandages Regro had helped dress him in. When they did heal, they'd probably scar along with the lashes on his chest. 

Part of Delisaster almost missed the quick healing that his demon heart had afforded him when he thought about the pain that kept coursing through his veins with every breath he took, but at the same time… it was something that set him and Mash aside from his other brothers, and Delisaster couldn't be more thankful for that.

When Rayne didn’t respond, Delisaster shuffled his feet awkwardly. 

“Anyway… well, I imagine that Father isn’t very pleased with me. Or Mash, I guess. He’ll probably start making moves soon. We were all born for the sole purpose of giving him our hearts, so, if he gets all of them, then we’re sorta fucked. Pretty sure my brothers’ hearts have already been used.” They’ve been used at the time of the Eclipse, to be exact… but that’s not something I should know. “Domina Blowelive is participating during the Divine Visionary Exam, right? He’s the youngest… if he wins, then Father’s plan will be complete. You should… probably go and tell your colleagues that.”

“I will. But… when did you find out that I was a Visionary?” 

For whatever reason, Rayne somehow seemed tenser than before. Seriously (pun intended), the hell was up with this guy? The whole world knew he was a Visionary, but somehow Delisaster ‘figuring’ it out made him upset? He’d known since the beginning, too, he just hadn’t remembered his name… 

“Saw your face on an advertisement after the whole summer break fiasco with the music kid. I figured that it wasn’t really my business if you wanted to LARP as a normal person— and it isn’t , still, but this is stuff regarding the end of the world, basically. I have to think about a little more than treating you like a casual person, right?” 

“Fair enough.” Rayne looked a little more relaxed now, and he fiddled with the book in his hands idly, as if he wasn’t sure what to do with it. “...Did you come to get anything today?”

“I came for a book my Pops wanted,” Delisaster said. The change of tone was a welcome shift, but it was also jarring how quickly Rayne had switched gears. “Actually, it’s the one you’ve been ‘reading’ for the past few minutes.”

“You can have it, then.” He passed it to Delisaster gently, as if the book was worth much more than the twenty Lond it cost. “I think this one is the last copy.”

“Huh. So it is. See, what’d I tell you? Literal lifesaver.” Delisaster hummed, smiling as he put the book into his bag. He turned around, ready to check out and bring the book home to Regro. “I’ll see you later, then…”

Rayne grabbed his arm at the last second, fingers closing lightly around his wrist. “I’ve already paid for it, so there’s no need for you to go to the checkout.” 

“Uh?” While Delisaster wasn’t the type to say no to free things, this felt a little immoral. Which, was ironic, coming from the guy who had murdered hundreds of people just like Rayne in his past life, but Delisaster didn’t dwell too much on that philosophical quandary. “You’re just gonna give this to me?” 

“It’s twenty Lond.”

“Right, but… ugh. Nevermind, I guess.” Delisaster frowned. “But I’ll have to find some way to make it up to you.” 

“Don’t bother. You already did.” With those cryptic last words, Rayne left the bookstore. 

He just keeps finding ways to get even more cringe… Delisaster thought as he watched the guy leave. 

Three days before Mash’s final exam, Delisaster was called in to testify in front of the Divine Visionaries.

Well… testifying might've been a strong word. Maybe detainment was more like it? Yeah, detainment in a cage made of very densely packed sand.

“Ehh, this all feels a little excessive,” he grumbled, but no one answered him, not even the also very clearly bored Visionary who was practically falling asleep at his station. A quick scan of all the other Visionaries— Rayne being conveniently missing— showed that most of them also didn't look like they wanted to be there. “I guess I just don’t really get why I need to be put in a cage just to talk to you guys?”

“Well, it's a safety precaution…” One of the Visionaries started to say. Delisaster thought he recognized her— that was the one who had confronted him in the citadel, right? It had been a lifetime ago, at this point… but that didn't make him any less annoyed at the insinuation.

“For who? D’you guys think I'm gonna like, jump out of this thing and maul you to death with my teeth or something? I’m not a feral animal or anything,” Delisaster glared. “Are a bunch of Divine Visionaries scared that they can't take down even one guy trapped in a cage? I don’t even have a damn wand, for fuck’s sake!”

“Alright, alright. We don't mean you any harm,” a man who reminded Delisaster faintly of Father spoke. He had to squint to look at the guy— for whatever reason, there was some sort of omnipresent halo of light behind his head. “It would be utterly unmanly of us to continue this Q&A session with our guest locked up in a cage, right?”

Without even waiting for any of the other Visionaries to answer, the blond man raised his wand and made a sweeping motion, collapsing the cage around Delisaster. One of his colleagues turned to glare at him— probably the asshole who put it up in the first place— but he simply didn't seem to care. Fuckin’ bigshots… never thinking about anyone but themselves.

“Now, then! So, Delisaster Burnedead, is that right? I'm told you're the older brother of that charming Mushroom Head?” 

“Uhh. Don’t you already know the answer to that?” Delisaster said with a flash of irritation, trying to shake the loose sand out of his hair and skirt. “I thought you called me here cause you guys wanted to threaten Mashie or something. I mean, like, hasn't one of your guys been trying to kill him all year?” 

Sand guy looked away at that, and Delisaster's eyes narrowed as he glared up at the man. “Don't you feel even a bit of shame for trying to murder a fifteen year old? I mean, seriously… you're supposed to be one of the upstanding pillars of society and you're out here, killing kids and detaining people trying to give you information?” 

(If someone from before could see him now, they'd definitely be calling him a hypocrite, but, well, Delisaster had learned, alright! He was doing his best!) 

“Well, that’s true, but…” Light guy looked hesitantly over to the sand guy, then back down at Delisaster. “As it stands, it’s the opinion of the majority against Mushroom Head. Our hands are tied when it comes to deciding his fate— though, Orter, sending people after the kid isn’t very manly of you either.” 

“No shit, bro,” Delisaster rolled his eyes. “Get to the point.”

“We wanted to verify the information you gave Rayne,” the woman— Delisaster was going to call her the Nerd Cane if she spoke one more word— stepped up. “This… trial… was a little unorthodox, but it was the best way that we could thinki of to get the truth from you.” 

Oh, so they did do all this without letting Mr. Serious know, Delisaster thought. Kinda wanna see the fallout of that, but also I don’t really want to be stabbed again, so… that’s maybe not a good idea to stick around for. “Okay. So how’s this gonna go, exactly?”

“Just drink this, and you’ll be set to properly testify,” another Visionary came down, holding a bottle of what looked like honey in his hands. Delisaster wrinkled his nose at it— growing up with Epidem constantly trying out his experiments on him had forced him to develop a third sense for when he was getting weird substances tried on him. “Is that actually any sort of potion or are you just trying to poison me?”

“No, it’s a truth–”

“Wait, no, he’s got a point. Kaldo, isn’t that just one of your honey-fied concoctions that you’re trying to get him to taste-test?” 

“It’s not! Why are you so insistent about this?”

“Ugh, what did you put in it? I can smell it from here!”

“I-I have an actual potion we can use… brr…”

Delisaster watched with boredom as the Divine Visionaries started to argue among themselves. Unsurprisingly, giving a bunch of twenty year olds absolute power over state authority would have grand consequences. Who could’ve thought? 

“That’s enough.” It was Sand Guy who stood up this time, adjusting his glasses as he came to floor level with Delisaster. A pillar of sand sprung up from behind him, standing like some sort of sleep paralysis demon, encircling him but never getting close enough to touch. “It’s always easier to get the truth through force. About the events of the Eclipse… is what you said to Rayne true?”

“Oh my God, what shitty reason would I even have to lie about that? Dude. It’s my heart getting taken away and used for Father’s purposes,” Delisaster scowled. His heels hurt. “And haven’t you guys been having suspicions about Domina’s origins for like, for-fucking-ever? I mean, what sort of middle schooler could beat a Visionary to death? Have you guys just been looking over the evidence piles with your ass or what?”

“Watch your tongue,” Sand Guy warned. Delisaster, on principle, stuck it out at him. 

“Look, man, it’s not like I’ve got any experience with it or anything, but treating me like a prisoner isn’t exactly the best way to get an informant on your side, y’know.” Delisaster felt a little bad for whichever brother of his had had to fight this guy in the past, even if he didn’t really like any of them. After all, he was fucking annoying.  

“Who’s side are you on, then? You would have been eleven when you ran away from Innocent Zero, and while that’s plenty of time to change allegiances, we don’t even know what your reason for leaving was.” I want to spit in his face so fucking bad. God, give me patience… or strength. Preferably strength.

“I left because I didn’t want to stay in a gloomy old murder castle with people who treated me like an object and reanimated servants with their faces taped over and a father who didn’t love me. Okay? You don’t have to believe me about anything else— probably shouldn’t, I don’t even know how outdated it all is— but I’ll always be on Mash and Pops’ side. If you’re going to be on their side then I’ll tell you all there is I know about Father’s plan and his wishes. But if you’re not, then I am your enemy.”

Sand Guy’s expression hardened, and he raised his wand as if to do something with it. Delisaster wasn’t particularly worried if he was going to attack him, but that would definitely be a breach of contract (and the Law), so he’d let the guy hit him a few times before defending just so that he could get that sweet sweet court case money. 

“Okay, Orter, I think it’s time you step back,” Light Guy came down now— unfortunately he just had to step in before Delisaster won a sweet mil, God knew why he didn’t do it before— and pulled Sand Guy (Orter? Nah, that was too good for him. Sand Guy it was) back, stepping forward to let Delisaster out of the cramped remains of the cage he’d been sitting in for the past thirty minutes. “Sorry about that… we definitely went overboard. Not very manly of us, I know… but, the bright side is, we got to confirm our information about you—”

Light Guy cut himself off when the doors to the trial room were broken open. Delisaster turned just in time to see a very angry looking Rayne wielding his God’s wand. 

“Black Partisan!” Delisaster made to duck at the attack— the lack of the Devil Heart’s automatic healing made it difficult for him to take each attack head on as he used to— but it seemed he didn’t have to, because the attack wasn’t meant for him at all. Instead, it flew straight at Sand Guy, who countered with a wall of sand. Unoriginal, but it worked well enough.

Light Guy seemed like he was going to try to run to Rayne— that was, before he threw another wave of black magic at them. “Rayne! This is totally unmanly of you!”

“‘Unmanly’? Ryoh, you all went and detained an innocent civilian all because you couldn’t trust my information,” Rayne said, eyes blazing. “Are you sure you want to be using that sort of argument on me right now?”

“We had to make sure, Rayne. You can’t just rely on hearsay—”

“You’ve been trying to kill a highschooler for the past two months, Orter. You’re not exactly innocent in this either. Especially not when you caged up his brother and threatened him.” Another wave of Black Partisans came raining down on the man, who countered with a strike of sand magic that Rayne easily dodged.

“Okay, okay, come up, let’s go,” Light Guy suddenly came over to Delisaster’s side, dragging him out of the way of the carnage. “Just stay on the sidelines for a while, yeah? We’ll have this wrapped up with in a moment.”

“Kay.” Delisaster just shrugged before he turned his attention back to Rayne and Sand Guy. 

At this point, the other Visionaries had come down from the theatre boxes to stop them: the bored guy he’d seen earlier had somehow lost an arm already and the really tall one looked like he was moments away from falling to his knees and reciting the Hail Mary. 

“You two, stop fighting,” the Nerd Cane said in a loud voice to be heard over the fighting, that book she’d used before flipping open as the enchanted letters poured out and bound around her colleagues. It would be impressive if Delisaster didn’t already know how to counter her magic, but he supposed it did the job considering the Visionaries probably weren’t supposed to fight against each other on a daily basis. “Orter, you did go too far. But Rayne, attacking Orter isn’t—”

“Isn’t what ? Wasn't he the one that he threatened violence first?” Rayne glared at the other Visionaries, his expression dark. “I don’t know if attacking an informant— no, a civilian is something you should be defending him for.”

“The ‘civilian’ you're referring to was one of Innocent Zero’s sons—”

“He left when he was eleven! With his infant brother, because he didn’t want Mash Burnedead to suffer a life under Innocent Zero! Orter, are you even listening to anything I’m saying or is it all pouring out of your ears like sand? Do I have to start cussing you to get you to understand?”

“Hey, there. You alright?” Light Guy leaned in to whisper to Delisaster, who was watching the conversation with a dazed expression. “If this is too much for you, we can go outside…”

Delisaster, who was wondering when the hell anyone— much less Rayne, who he’d talked to a total of three fucking times— had even had the time to dig up this much dirt on him, didn’t at all process the question and ended up very confused when he finally registered that he was outside in the hallway bundled up in someone else’s jacket with a mug of warm tea in his hands. Well, whatever. None of this was really his problem, so he could just chill for the time being.

That said, when a stretch of time had passed and the hallway had grown quiet instead of being filled with yelling and metal clangs, Delisaster started to get a little bit antsy.

“Uh, are they.. y’know, done yet?” He looked over at Light Guy, who was busy flipping through a small photo album. “I can’t hear fighting anymore, so they might be, like, dead or something.”

“That’s a good point. Let’s hope it’s not that,” Light Guy said, as if it had just occurred to him. He walked back over to the double doors and creaked them open just a little to peek inside. It seemed like he liked what he saw— or at least, he didn’t see several corpses laying about in the courtroom. “Looks like it’s time for us to go back in.” 

“Hmm. I don’t really wanna, though?” Delisaster said. “Could I like, stay out here while you decide on a sentence?”

“A sentence? We didn’t bring you here to prosecute you, though?” 

… Right, this was supposed to be an interrogation for my information. How the hell did it get to this point??? Delisaster wondered to himself. “Uh, then in that case, can I stay outside while you talk it out with Rayne?”

“Well, it seems like it’s already been talked out.” Light Guy said, then added on, “If it makes you feel better, none of us want to have to go through another interrogation thing, and after Rayne came crashing in, I don’t think anyone else will be doubting your words.”

“Ugh… Fine. Do you want your jacket back?” It was similar to the one he’d owned in the past, and while Delisaster didn’t often have mementos that he clinged onto, it did help him feel more confident.

“Hmm… well, I would like to have it back after today, but I don’t blame you if you want to keep it longer. After all, I am the greatest creation of humanity…” Right. Delisaster was not listening to all that. “Just take it back.” 

He walked into the courtroom, only minutely surprised by the large piles of sand and swords lying around the place. The Visionaries were all standing and talking in a big clump of people, and when they noticed Delisaster and Light Guy standing beside him, they all immediately turned to look.

“Delisaster Burnedead,” Nerd Cane said, turning to look at him. Delisaster raised an eyebrow, waiting for her to go on. “On behalf of all of the Divine Visionaries, I’d like to apologize for the injustices done to you and your family. We should have gone about this a different way, and Orter shouldn’t have been given free reign over the way he conducted his behaviour around your brother.”

“Pfft,” Delisaster snorted, trying to play it off as a small cough when he saw the bunch of Visionaries staring at him. He couldn’t really help it— it was just such a surreal situation. The woman he killed fifteen years ago apologizing to him, while the guy who killed him tried to defend him from their crazy child-killing fellow Visionary… it sounded like some sort of crazy book plot. “It’s fine. You’ll stop going after Mashie now then, right?”

“Yes. Mash Burnedead should have had the same rights as any normal civilian before. We’re just doing what we should have from the start.”

“Okay. So, are we done here?”

“That depends. Is there more that you know?” Sand Guy stood up, and Delisaster noted the several blade wounds on his arms and legs that had been iced over (literally… that was probably the small one’s doing). He was glad that the serious guy was no longer going to be fighting him in this life, because wow, did that look painful. Not exactly an experience he wanted to go through without the Devil’s Heart as a buffer. (Also, Rayne’s glare at Sand Guy was honestly sorta scary. The hell did he need to be that intense for?) “We need to know all there is you know about Innocent Zero’s plans.”

“Uh…” Delisaster racked his brain. “Well, I did tell you already that he needs me and Mashie’s hearts, right? It’s cause he wants to become God, or something. So he’s doing forbidden magic. And…” He snapped his fingers, remembering the job runs he’d been sent on in his past life. “Right, he’s gonna get this big ass army of creatures to fight against you guys. Elves, madjinn, giants… all those sorts of creatures.”

“And how d’you even know this?” The guy who’d lost an arm a few minutes ago asked. “What, are you in contact with In—”

“Renatus.” Rayne glared again— seriously, that guy was going to contort his face into a constant scowl if he kept doing that. Delisaster felt a little worried for the guy. Did he even know how to properly smile?

“I’m just joking, dude. Don’t look at me like that… seriously, the hell are they feeding you Easton kids?” He shivered, “No, seriously, though, Goldilocks. Is this like, accurate information?”

“I don’t know if it’s entirely accurate,” Delisaster said, lying straight out his ass, “ But it is what I was taught to do. Father raised us fighting monsters to accumulate our magic power and acclimated us to fighting more powerful opponents than ourselves… so if I had to take a guess, the others are probably out there gathering those subordinates.” It's not ‘entirely accurate’ for my sake, but you had better treat it like the gospel if you want to live to see the end of this.

“Subordinates, not allies?” Honey guy pointed out.

“Haha, are you kidding me? Good joke, dude.” Delisaster grinned, letting his sharp teeth show before dropping the grin and giving them a flat look. “In what world would Father ever let anyone stand equal to him? He raised his own sons for the sole purpose of harvesting their hearts for sustenance. The whole ‘getting to commit even more genocide’ thing was just a bonus. That scream ‘ I love equality ’ to you?”

The Visionaries exchanged concerned looks, before Light Guy turned back to Delisaster. “Do you know anything else?”

“Not really. I mean, guess I’d tell you to be careful of Father’s sons,” Delisaster thought about it for a second, then shrugged and decided to spill the beans about their fighting styles. After all, I’m not one of them anymore. Who cares if they get fucked over by this? I don’t.

“Doom’s the most powerful— he’s got a Master Cane that turns his magical power into physical strength that’s about as physics-defying as Mash’s is… it’s not really a good idea to face him alone. No matter how strong you think you are, he’ll beat you. He scales his power up percentage by percentage… which is good, since if he ever faced someone at full power he’d probably, like, unleash the force of an atomic bomb onto them, but— even though this sounds contrary— it does help if you can corner him quickly and get him to unleash his full power immediately. It tires him out, even if he doesn't look it. Famin’s… eugh. He’s a creep. That’s really all I have to say about him— if we did a psych evaluation, he’d probably be the first one labelled legally insane. He can turn invisible, so watch out for that. Try and stop him before he uses his Thirds, because that’s when he becomes basically completely imperceptible. And, Epidem… he’s the mad scientist of the fam. He's always been weirdly obsessed with pudding, but he never bothered with me much, so I don’t remember a lot about him.”

“You sure know a lot about your brothers,” Orter said, ignoring the glare Rayne once more threw his way.

“I’ve only got one brother,” Delisaster rolled his eyes, “And his name is Mash Burnedead. So don’t get all cocky with me, child-murderer. Can I go now?”

“Yes, you’ve been a great help, Mr. Burnedead,” Light Guy said. “Rayne, why don’t you go ahead and get our guest back home?”

An awkward silence permeated the hall for a moment, before Delisaster realized Rayne was staring at him. “Um. Hey? What’s up, Mr. Serious?”

“Is it okay with you? For me to bring you back?”

“Uh… yeah, duh,” Delisaster said, very much aware of the fact that everyone else in the room was watching them like some sort of freakshow. What’s up with you?? Why are you getting upset about going somewhere with me now? “Why wouldn’t it be?”

“...No reason. Let’s go,” Rayne grasped him by the wrist, dragging him out of the courtroom and summoning a Partisan as soon as they were in the clear of the Bureau offices. “Can you… no, do you want to go by your own magic?”

Delisaster raised his empty hands to show Rayne. “Didn’t bring my wand with me. The inquest told me not to… I should’ve just ignored it.”

“Ah. Right…” Rayne looked askance for a moment, “Then, make sure to grab onto me tightly. I’ll make sure you don’t fall off, but it might be a bit awkward with two of us on one Partisan.”

“Nah, it’s fine,” Delisaster waved his hand. “If it’s too much trouble, I can just go back by bus or something, it’s no biggie.” 

“It’s alright. Don’t bother doing that, they’re too crowded at this time of day. I’ll just be careful.”

“Are you sure?” When Rayne nodded, Delisaster shrugged. He didn’t really want to go on public transport either, so this was a win-win. “Alright then, sure. Can I hold your arm, then? Don’t wanna accidentally choke you or anything.”

“Go ahead. I’ll wait for you to be ready.” 

It won’t take me twelve years to adjust my position, you know… “You can go now.” 

Despite the initial uncertainty Delisaster had about this whole thing, he found himself relaxing on the ride back to the forest Regro lived in. Flying high above the city on a sword was a more therapeutic feeling than he had thought— it wasn’t too late in the evening, but just late enough so that the sun was setting above the cityline and the lights of the streets were shining brightly above the horizon.

It was a sight that reminded him how wonderful it was to live as a human, that steadily beating heart in his chest a stark contrast to the stillness from before.

“Hey, Mr. Serious. Are you listening? …I don’t want Innocent Zero to win,” he said aloud out of nowhere. It felt a little like betraying his past self— despite all the years he’d lived with Regro and Mash, all the time he’d spent with them, thinking of them as family… he had still loved his Father. Still respected him, even if that respect was tainted with fear and pain. But living a life without the indulgences he’d had before (not including wine, that was a requirement) had been eye-opening, to say the least.

“He won’t.” Rayne replied after a moment. “We’ll make sure of that.”

Delisaster just smiled.

He was scared for the day of the Eclipse, no doubt— whether or not Father would win, or if he would lose, and what would happen to him and Mash either way… if Regro would be safe… even if Freckles and Rayne would make up.

But, even if he lost in the end… it had been a second life worth living.

“The sunset is beautiful, isn't it?”

“...Yes, it is.”

Isn’t it wonderful to look at the setting sun, with both my eyes clear and a plan for the future with less faceless people and more of those I love?

Chapter Text

Much to Delisaster's disappointment, for Mash’s final exam, Bimple had decided to join Regro at the little makeshift cottage-watch party setup. Delisaster, for his part, had decided he’d sign up for a permit to watch in Easton’s Grand Hall: partly because he wanted an easier route to Mash in case things went wrong (the ‘arena’ they’d be using to fight was, according to Rayne, located not far off from Easton and easier to get to from there) and partly because, since he hadn’t gone to Walkis in this lifetime, this would be his first time watching the Divine Visionary exams in person.

“...And, Pops, if this… ‘guest’ gives you or Chouxe a hard time, you can just press this button and I’ll get a notification. I’ll come right back,” Delisaster said as he slung a thin jacket and small rucksack filled with overnight clothes, perfume and a flask (AKA essential items) over his shoulders. He bent down to pet Chouxe on the head gently, “I’ll try and get you something from the city if I can. Or steal a souvenir from Easton itself.”

“Oh… my son’s grown to be such a good young man,” Regro cried, sobbing into Barack’s (who was standing very still and awkwardly, staring at Delisaster like he was a wild animal) shoulder. “Don’t worry… your Pops will be safe here. You’ve already done enough to ensure that… after all, 008 is here now. And Brad isn’t that bad a person…”

Delisaster tuned out Regro’s lecturing him to be ‘nicer’ to Bretchen and instead turned to look at the servant beast idling about the garden of the cottage, looking for all the world like it had no clue why it was there. It had originally been Sand Guy’s, apparently, but the morning after Rayne had sent him home, the Visionaries had shipped the little thing over in a box as an ‘apology’ for their fellow Visionary’s actions. He’d at first thought that it was meant as a surveillance device, but it seemed to have taken to Regro, so he would leave it be as long as it continued to protect his Pops.

“Right, then… yo, kid, if the unpleasant intruder over there gives my Pops any trouble, you’ve got full permission to maul him to death,” Delisaster called over his shoulder to 008. It was only after he got a decisive nod from the little creature and handed Chouxe over to Regro safely and securely that he finally exited the forest clearing, calling into the thick of the brush.

“Hey, Mr. Serious? Did I keep you waiting?” 

The Rayne that he was greeted with upon leaving was one who looked like he hadn’t slept in five days— well, five more days than usual, probably due to the importance of the exam and how tense everyone felt with Domina being part of the competition. It was still a bit weird to Delisaster, the whole interacting with Rayne like normal people thing… but he figured he was selling it well enough. Maybe with time he’d actually begin to believe it. 

“You’re fine. Early, even… it starts at twelve.”

“Twelve? Eeh… feels a bit late, for an all-day competition…” Delisaster said. Wasn’t it? Or were my year’s Visionary Candidates just horrible?

“It starts tomorrow. Today is just the introduction to the candidates… unofficial betting more or less starts today. It isn’t allowed, technically, but it happens every year.” 

“Oh? How many wagers did you get for yourself?” Delisaster asked, laughing when Rayne just shrugged. “Okay, fair, I guess you wouldn’t know. Can I bet on Mashie?”

“If you find the right people.”

“But you won’t tell me who that is, will you?”

“You’re technically not allowed to bet. We’re supposed to be keeping an eye on you at all times, and the betting pools are… well, usually not very legal.”

“Right…” Delisaster had almost forgotten. 

The terms of his being allowed to show up to Easton in person had been set in place by the Bureau of Magic. Father needing his heart (and Mash’s, but that wasn’t a really big concern with how much of a ‘cheat character’ his brother was) to become a God had more or less made Delisaster a high-priority escort in the eyes of the Bureau, which was why Rayne had been told to ‘stay with him’ during the duration of the exam. It was, in Delisaster’s opinion, a stupid way to try and safeguard him— like putting him on some sort of child leash and hoping that it would stop him from being kidnapped.

…Well. It was sorta rude to refer to Rayne as a child leash, but, still. Point was, if Father himself decided he wanted Delisaster’s heart right that moment, there would be no way to stop him. The only thing that could stop Delisaster from having his heart ripped out his chest would be if Father wasn’t yet feeling well enough to come in person, which was very likely. 

But getting to annoy Rayne for a whole day wasn’t exactly an unwelcome consequence of the Bureau’s incorrect assumption, so Delisaster wasn’t about to tell them the truth.

“Though… If you want to go to a betting pool, I’ll turn the other way.”

“Huh? Wait, wait, really?” Delisaster blinked. “But aren’t you supposed to be watching me right now?”

“I can watch you without noticing the betters,” Rayne said. Even though his voice was even and his face blank as always, Delisaster noticed that his ears were red. “Hypothetically, that is. If you wanted to.”

“Pfft…” Who let the serious guy be so cute about pulling one over on his superiors? This is some crazy gap moe… Delisaster had to laugh. “It’s a-okay, don’t worry. I came here for Mashie, so it’s whatever if I can’t bet or anything. Wouldn’t want to have you pleading the fifth in court or anything.”

“If you say so.” 

The heart of the city seemed crowded with people today— though Delisaster couldn’t tell if it was good or bad, it certainly seemed more alive than it did on his usual excursions out to town. Flowers bloomed in the public square, probably fostered by magic as street entertainers played music. Children ran past him and Rayne as they made their way down Marchette Street, squealing with laughter as they pointed out decorations put up to commemorate the Divine Visionary exam. 

“It’s a wonderful day today, isn’t it?” Delisaster commented. He itched to reach for a swig of the flask of wine he’d brought along, but thought better of it. “It sorta… sucks.”

“Huh?” 

The surprised look on Rayne’s face made Delisaster burst out into little snorts of laughter despite his own melancholic mood. “S-sorry, sorry… nah, I was just messing with you a bit. It is really pretty, but, ah, I just meant… Mash has to put his life on the line today. So, it’s just a bit of a mood dimmer, y’know? To know that your baby bro might be executed if he fails this final test.”

“...Mash Burnedead won’t fail. From what I’ve seen… I doubt that kid will even consider the possibility of failing when the price includes you and that old man of yours.”

Delisaster side-eyed Rayne for a moment. This guy… if he hadn’t watched Rayne monologue to his own estranged little brother about pushing him away for his own sake, he’d think that he was insulting him and Regro. “Well, duh. Logically, I know Mashie’s probably gonna be a-okay, but, if it were you, wouldn’t you also be worried?”

Rayne turned away. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You don’t? D’you not have one or something? It’s funny, cause I could've sworn that the kid who got injured protecting Mashie’s crystal in the preliminary exam looked almost just like you…”

Rayne stayed quiet, but his fist clenched when Delisaster mentioned the exam. Delisaster sighed. “Look, I’m not going to ask why you’re pretending Freckles doesn’t exist when I’ve literally met the kid… but you get it, right? If there was a chance of him being hurt, you’d also be worried. No matter what you might think about him, aren’t you guys family?”

“...I get it.” 

“Alright. That’s all I wanted to know,” Delisaster raised his hands. “Anyway… I think we should go and hurry over to Easton now. It’s ten to twelve.” 

Without looking at him, Rayne summoned a Partisan. “We’ll go quicker like this. Hold on.”

“Yes, yes. Whatever you say, Mr. Serious,” Delisaster laughed.

It was five to twelve when they entered Easton’s Grand Hall, hurrying into one of the box seats that sat high above the sea of students below. Delisaster had barely settled into his seat when the trumpets and drums announced the introduction to the final exam.

“ God provided us with two gifts. The wicked power of knowledge, and the sacred power of magic. Magic is everything in this world. Those with absolute control over magic are revered as the closest to God! And now… we shall decide which of these magic users is the closest to God’s Divine vision! Let the Tri-Magicathalon Divine Visionary Exam… begin!”

“ Presenting… Easton!”

The doors at the end of the hall slammed open to the rhythm of the music as Mash and his two friends entered the hall, to a grand round of applause and cheering. Delisaster craned his neck over the box’s edge to look at Mash, who waved at him when they spotted each other. 

“Don’t lean that far over,” Rayne told him. Delisaster just stuck his tongue out at him and went back to waving at Mash. 

“Walkis!”

The west-end doors slammed open this time, and Domina walked in with two of his classmates trailing after him. The applause this time was more muted, but there was still a great deal of cheering and whooping.

“They’re not really well-liked, are they?” Delisaster muttered. “It’s a kinda lame showing, coming from Innocent Zero’s son. And I’m saying that with someone who grew up with that guy… drama is sorta the whole point with him.”

“ Saint Ars!”

This time, the east-end doors opened, but no candidates entered.

“...Huh? Will the candidates from Saint Ars please enter!” 

There was no response. Delisaster and Rayne exchanged a glance, before they both returned their attention to the candidates standing in the Grand Hall.

“Domina’s holding something in his hand,” Delisaster whispered to Rayne.

“Can you see what—?”

Before he could finish his sentence, the announcer spoke up again. “ Wait! What’s this?! We’ve just received a letter from Saint Ars! It’s…. It’s unbelievable! The Saint Ars candidates are withdrawing this year! Just what is going on?!”

“Oh, yeah, I wonder…” Delisaster muttered, eyes fixed on the little brother he'd had a lifetime ago. He truly is Father’s son, huh?

Domina was smiling, now. Delisaster had almost forgotten how creepy the kid was— after hearing that he’d lost to Mash in his previous life, he’d just written him off as a smaller, weaker copy of his Father. Now, though… to Mash and his friends, the kid must’ve seemed to be a complete sociopath. “Haha… The candidates for Saint Ars seem to have chickened out.” 

Domina opened his fist, and the broken and bloodied wands he had been holding fell out in a clump on the ground before he stepped on them, crushing them into splinters. 

“Easton Academy. Are you ready?” He grinned. “You’re next.” 

“H-He’s smiling! Those are the wands of the Saint Ars candidates! He’s a monster!” Someone from one of the lower boxes yelled. By the harsh look on Rayne’s face, Delisaster gathered that it was probably Freckles— yeah, almost definitely Freckles, on second thought. After all, who else would have enough rational thought in them to call out psychotic behaviour? Realistically, Freckles was the only non-insane person in the entire Easton student body.

“Hey, look at that…!” Another student called out, pointing at the south corner where Mash and his friends were sitting. “It’s— it’s a tea party! They’re having a tea party!” 

It was true. They were sitting around a table ( how did it get there? ) and drinking tea. Well, the redheaded one was drinking tea. Mash was eating creampuffs. “Ready for what?”

Domina’s expression darkened, and Delisaster reached for his wand. If that kid was going to attack Mash… well, he probably wouldn’t get anywhere with it, but if he did… Delisaster wasn’t about to sit around and wait for him to try and hurt his brother.

Everyone’s attention was drawn back to the announcer when she started speaking again. “ A-Ahem! The letter from Saint Ars… states that they ‘relinquish their seats to Walkis’! ”

Muttering and whispering started around the Grand Hall, as people turned to talk to their friends. In the middle of it all, Domina stood with an easy confidence that Delisaster hadn’t before associated with his second-youngest blood brother. “It was quite smart of them to drop out after realizing that they aren’t fit to be Visionaries. We gladly accept their seats.”

Three whirling torpedoes of dark-magic imbued water suddenly appeared next to Domina and his two classmates, coalescing into the forms of three more students before it melted away like a cocoon, showing the three Walkis students who Domina had brought into the arena. 

“You know any of them from your year?” Delisaster asked Rayne, who shook his head. 

“Not from last year's exam, but I do know one. The blond kid is Lévis Rosequartz. He’s one of the Head of the Bureau’s twin sons… the other one fell ill some time before I joined the Bureau,” Rayne said. “It had something to do with that new disease that spread around a while back, the one that took away the victim’s magic.”

“Huh… I see.” He faintly remembered something about a disease that Epidem was working on in his past life, but if it wasn’t concrete, there was no point to bringing it up just to give Rayne false hope. Delisaster returned his attention to Domina, who was introducing his companions. Probably.

“We six from Walkis will enter this tournament to prove we have what it takes to become the next Divine Visionary,” the kid said to the applause of his fellow Walkis students and the rage of Mash’s friends. The red one had already started yelling about fairness, and Delisaster figured he would just tune it out until the announcers decided what to do… that was, before Mash spoke.

“Hmm? Wait, if there’s nine total… and three dropped out, plus three more…” The kid appeared to be trying to wrap his head around the number of opponents that they had. “We’ve got… 18 guys?” 

“...” Rayne didn’t say anything, but Delisaster could feel a judgmental glare on the back of his neck. 

“Look, alright, you can’t really expect an eleven year old to be a good teacher…” You can’t expect me to be a good teacher, was what he really wanted to say, but Rayne wouldn’t understand why.

“I’m not. But surely, your old man…”

“Pops was kicked out by his parents when he was young,” Delisaster said, defensive on Regro’s behalf. “Why else d’you think he lives in the forest, all alone? He’s tried his best, but it’s not easy, having to take care of two children and giving them adequate education… Anyway, I’m just glad that Mash can take care of himself.”

“...Did you ever get to go to school?”

“What, do I seem stupid to you?” Delisaster laughed, waving a hand as Rayne looked about to protest. “Uh, technically, yeah. I had tutors back living with Father, but it was a pretty shit learning environment, what with all the faceless servants and everything. I am literate, though, if that’s what you wanted to know. And I know how to add and subtract, unlike a certain somebody.”

Speaking of that certain somebody… Delisaster went to lean over the edge again even as Rayne pulled him back by the arm, listening closely to what Mash was saying.

“I don’t want to fight, if we can avoid it,” Mash said. “But this is for Pops, my brother and my friends. I’ll curbstomp as many of you as I need if it means they can live in peace.”

“So you’re doing this for those important to you? I sympathize,” Domina replied. His grin grew sharper as he continued, “But bravery won’t help you defeat me. Our superiority was decided by our birth. I mean… when has a younger sibling ever surpassed their elder in this world? And considering you don’t have magic, well…”

“Sibling??? My family’s just me, my Pops and my brother… Don’t project your weird family dynamic onto me.” 

“...I taught that kid well,” Delisaster wiped away a fake tear from his eye, ignoring the judgemental glare Rayne once again directed at him. 

Just then, the doors to Saint Ars’ entrance slammed open, and a student stood in front of them, his limbs bent at awkward angles and blood dripping down his face. It was clear he’d been beat up by someone before, and Delisaster was willing to bet that it was Domina who had inflicted such severe injuries on him. “I’m Kingruss of Saint Ars. People of Easton, please, hear me out!”

“I competed against him last year,” Rayne said, voice quiet. “What in the world…?”

“It was Domina’s fault, no doubt,” Delisaster answered. He looked back at Rayne, whose face was unreadable, and sighed before he backed away from the ledge and put a hand on his shoulder. “Only a child raised by Father… by Innocent Zero… would be able to do that much damage to a previous Visionary Candidate. Don't start thinking something ridiculous like you should have prevented it or something.”

“I know.” And yet, he looked upset anyway. Delisaster looked away, not sure what to do or say to make it better but unwilling to subject himself to the ache in his chest that grew stronger at Rayne’s sorrow.

Down in the Hall, Mash had knelt down to support the injured student, helping him up as he pleaded with them to beat the Walkis students. 

“I’m so sorry! Please, defeat them… they can’t be allowed to represent us at the top…”

“I don’t like liars. And those are all dirty lies,” the student that Rayne had pointed out before— that Bureau chief’s son— stepped forward, pointing his finger down at Mash and the Saint Ars kid with a condescending sneer on his face. Delisaster realized with a bitter taste in his mouth that the kid actually resembled him somewhat, and flipped the little shit off in his mind. “Coming here, talking about school pride and apologizing… you think that makes you look pretty good, don’t you? But quitting to protect your family? That’s weak. I’d never be caught dead doing that! If you aren’t ready to fight, then step down, chump!”

He flicked his wand upward, and a hole shot through the Saint Ars’ student’s shoulder, knocking the kid unconscious. Delisaster tightened his grip on his wand, standing up as he got closer to the edge, but as he was about to raise his wand and cast Ascalon, Rayne pulled him back.

“We’re not supposed to interfere in their fights.”

“They’re not supposed to be attacking other candidates right now, either!” Delisaster hissed back, his eyes fixed on Mash, who had been surrounded by the Walkis kids. A wall of smoke suddenly appeared around Mash, and Delisaster’s arm grew shaky as he scanned the grounds for even a sign of his younger brother. 

For a moment, he contemplated whether or not it would be a good idea to simply strike Domina and his group of sycophants dead right there and then, but—

“Mash will be fine. We called in ahead of time to make sure he wouldn’t be bothered.” Rayne said, voice calm despite the shakiness of his grip. “And if he isn’t, then I’ll let you go down to deal with them yourself.”

Delisaster couldn’t answer, his eyes fixed on the gloating figure of the blond kid. If the smoke cleared and Mash wasn’t there… “I’m gonna kill him.”

“That’s not something you should be saying in front of me.”

“I don’t care .”

“I know you don’t. Still, you shouldn't—”

“Look, Mr. Serious, you don't gotta worry about me. If what I’m saying gets me in trouble with the Bureau or whatever, let it. I’m not about to let my little brother die for nothing .”

If the smoke cleared… if Mash wasn’t there, if he hadn’t been able to dodge the attack… Delisaster really was going to kill again. 

He hadn’t killed in fifteen years, he realized.

But if I had to kill again, for Mash’s sake, wouldn’t it be worth it?

As the haze slowly dissipated, Delisaster scanned the grounds with shaking hands. His eyes widened for a moment when he saw the large magnets stacked atop each other, fingers slowly tightening around his wand— but then he noticed the doll faces they had struck, and the tiny figure hiding behind one of those doll’s heads. He slumped back into Rayne’s hold, his heart beating rabbit-quick in his chest, barely even noticing the three other Easton students entering the Hall. 

“Ugh… This stupid fucking competition is so not good for my heart…” Delisaster groaned, pressing a hand to his forehead. 

“Maybe you should stop watching then. That heart of yours is rather important.”

“Huh?” Delisaster blinked. Caught off guard by the completely unexpected humor, he looked back at Rayne, whose ears had started to redden the longer he stared. “Did you… just make a joke, Mr. Serious?” 

When Rayne didn’t respond, Delisaster grinned. It was weak, but it was something. “Well, thanks anyway. Rather sweet of you to value my heart so much… at least there’s someone who appreciates it for something more than an ascension material for Godhood.”

“...They’re ending the opening ceremony now, I think.” At this point, Rayne’s ears were more or less entirely red, and Delisaster couldn’t help but grin at the sight.

“Alrighty then… should we get going, or what?” 

“Yes. We’re going back to the Bureau for the night, since it’s too risky to let you stay overnight at any hotel in town that could potentially be compromised.” Rayne said as he summoned a Partisan and helped Delisaster on. They were once again operating on flawed logic, since if Father really wanted Delisaster dead he could very easily just break past the Bureau’s defenses… but whatever. A place to stay was a place to stay, and getting a chance to screw around in the Bureau while he was at it sounded like a good deal to him. Though… 

“You guys have sleeping areas in the Bureau? For real?” 

“Well, it’s a temporary rest area. It’s just as comfortable as one of the high-end hotel rooms would be, but it’s located near my office in case anything happens.” Noticing the question on Delisaster’s face, Rayne quickly clarified: “I’m usually the only one staying behind after-hours, besides Orter, and it was rather unanimous on our part to keep you guys away from each other.”

“Ah…” Delisaster blinked, then winced as he pictured the possibility of having to sleep next to Sand Guy’s office. He’d probably try and choke me to death in my sleep… no, he definitely would. “Yeah, ‘kay. That totally checks out. Hey, wait… Does that mean that you’ll be sleeping in your office later?”

“I have a pull-out couch.”

Delisaster side-eyed the man. “Uhh… dude, is that even comfortable?”

“It works well enough. Better than a lot of places I’ve tried sleeping,” Rayne said, avoiding Delisaster’s very direct glare. “And I don’t get too much sleep at night, anyway. There’s a lot of work to be done.”

“...Is there really no way to get another bed in there?” Delisaster asked, pulling out his wand. 

“There’s enough space for one, but it isn’t as if I need… wait, what are—?” Rayne’s eyes widened, realizing what Delisaster was about to do a second too late.

“ Ascalon!” Delisaster hopped onto his own summon, heading down into town at mach speeds to look for a mattress store as Rayne flew after him, yelling at him to stop flying away and forget about the bed .

(In the end, Delisaster got his way and Rayne had another temporary bed moved into his office. It was as good a win as he would take.)

Chapter Text

The actual day of the Final Visionary Exam started off with a very, very tense morning.

Delisaster woke up to a faint knocking sound on his door, which, as it turned out, was connected directly to Rayne’s office. That had sure been something for the both of them to find out last night— which, it turned out that Rayne hadn’t known either, and while it had made moving the extra bed in easier, it was a lot more awkward getting to sleep knowing that Rayne was in the next room over. “Ah, give me a second, ‘kay? I’ll be out in a moment!”

“Hurry up. There’s something you might want to see for yourself outside.” 

Delisaster didn’t quite know if he liked how that sounded, but nonetheless, he rushed through his morning routine anyway, pulling a simple long dress over his head instead of wearing the leather jeans and jacket he had planned on wearing before rushing into Rayne’s office. “What is it?” 

There was barely any light in the dark office, just slivers of early sunlight coming in through the blinds, so when Rayne motioned for Delisaster to look outside, he fixed him with a deadpan stare. “I can’t see anything.”

“Outside, there’s a crowd of people protesting your brother’s existence.” Rayne frowned. He looked tired, more than usual. He probably hadn't slept at all, despite the bed. “Last night, when we returned… apparently, they were also up in arms about it then, and even before the last stage of the exam started… but the old man— Wahlberg— managed to calm them down then. Now, before the first day of the final exam, they’re back and at it, protesting against Mash Burnedead’s right to live. This is the crowd whose opinion he has to change. They’re the people who you have to fight for against your Father’s rule.”

“...Did you call me out here just so I could see those brainless idiots milling about or something?”

“When you told us about Innocent Zero’s plans for the Eclipse… and his ascent to godhood… most of the other Visionaries agreed that it would be best to have you join in the fight against him. Logically, it would of course make sense to have someone who knows him best on our side, but…” Rayne sighed. “I felt like it would be a disservice to you if you didn’t know what it was you were getting into.”

“What, protecting these guys who wanna kill Mashie?” Delisaster scoffed. “Don’t get me wrong. I’m honestly all on board that plan— a bit pissed they didn’t think to run it past me or anything, but, like, whatever, it’s all fine since I’ll get to at least try and kick Father’s ass— but it’s not for the reasons you guys might be thinking. As a Visionary, your job is to protect the people, so you’re probably thinking of this in terms of lives saved… but I couldn’t care less about them. The only people who I care about are Pops and Mash, and those who are important to them.” 

He pulled up the blinds a little more, scanning the streets filled with protestors, irritation building in his chest. For a moment, staring down at those abhorrent people, Delisaster felt a little like he did a lifetime ago: bitter and nihilistic, only managing to dull the emptiness in his chest with laughter, drugs and alcohol.

He had been granted a second chance to live as a human, and it had been everything Delisaster hadn’t known he’d needed. And yet, there were people who were born human and died human, so ignorant of the reality they lived in that they wanted to destroy a child’s life for nothing but the sin of being born without magic. 

If he could kill Father without having to protect them, he would.

“Why in the world would I want to protect people who hate a teenage boy this badly? They’re getting up at the asscrack of dawn just to protest his existence, and I’m supposed to not want them dead? That’s crazy talk. But if Innocent Zero wins, and Father gets his way, then Mash dies for good. All the sights I’ve gotten to see, the people Mash got to meet, Pops and Chouxe, they’re all gone. And I’ll be all alone… if I even get to keep my sanity, at the end of it all. I’m not stupid enough to think that Father and my brothers will ever be able to forgive me for what I did. Fighting against them is a selfish thing, that I’m doing only to protect those close to me. It’s nothing like what you think it is.”

Delisaster sighed. “So, like… you really didn’t have to show me this. But I mean, it’s nice that you thought to, anyway. If I had the same sorta thought process as you, I’d probably be pretty upset about it all… so, y’know. Thanks. You’re a pretty stand-up person, aren’t you, Mr. Serious?” 

“I don’t know what you’re referring to,” Rayne said. “...For the record, though, I can’t say I don’t understand where you’re coming from. Still… you still have the option to back out.”

“I won’t, so don’t even mention it again. Can I go back to sleep, or are you going to go down there and clear them out or something?” 

“The latter. You can come if you’d like, but the exams start at nine today, so it’s best if you go back and get some rest.” 

Delisaster raised an eyebrow at Rayne, slightly pissed that he would even consider going without him to screw the eugenics protestors over. “It’s like, ugh, I dunno… six right now? So that gives us, I dunno, three hours of time before the actual exam. Heading to Easton a few minutes late isn’t gonna make too much of a difference, besides the fact that we’ll miss that annoying announcer’s introduction. And aren’t two heads better than one? Or like, I guess, four hands are better than two…? …Er. Actually, I think I’ll just stick to the heads metaphor.”

Rayne just shook his head, but Delisaster thought he noticed the faint upwards slant of a small smile on his face. “If you’re sure.” 

Being bashful doesn’t really suit him…

It turned out that, while four hands were better than two, Delisaster had way underestimated the resilience of the crowd. He’d also overestimated their intelligence, but that was another problem that was better left undiscussed. He and Rayne ended up making it to Easton just as the exam started, hurrying up to the audience boxes they’d sat in the day before. 

The Rafflesian mirrors floating in the center of the Grand Hall displayed the two teams separately, and Delisaster scowled when he heard that blond kid mock Mash and his friends, though the tense atmosphere quickly dissolved when the red kid called him friendless.

“I mean, the kid’s not wrong,” Delisaster snorted. “That dude totally gives off ‘emo pirate king’ wannabe vibes. I wouldn’t be surprised if the whole of Walkis made fun of him behind his back.”

“You’re just making things up at this point,” Rayne said, though he also seemed amused. 

On the mirrors in front of them, the two groups were separated into different parts of the mansion as the announcer’s voice boomed over the magic speakers. “ Now… let the test begin!”

Delisaster, who had been busy subjugating the elf race this time in his past life, felt a little bit like he was replaying some sort of important cutscene he'd skipped the first time around. While watching everyone scramble around to catch some stars wasn't exactly the most exciting, it was certainly fun to watch Mash fuck with people's brains.

“The obstacles here are way beyond what they gave us in our year. Lévis Rosequartz definitely has something to do with it,” Rayne muttered from beside Delisaster. 

“Ehh… you sure it wasn't just easy for you? Don't be so quick to judge others just cause you’re skilled, Mr. Serious.” 

Rayne looked away, but he could see the redness of his ears. Score. “I'm not judging them, it’s an objective fact… You're the one not paying enough attention to the competition.”

Delisaster was going to protest, but then, realizing that Rayne was in fact right and he was not at all paying attention, focused on the mirror showing Mash’s challenge and did a double-take when he saw a shadow eater summon. “Huh. Those are pretty difficult to get ahold of, aren't they?”

“Tsurara’s division creates artificial shadow eaters. They aren't as dangerous as…” Rayne trailed off as the guardian of the room ordered its summon to suck the life out of a rabbit, his hands gripping the armrests of his viewing chair tightly. “...Nevermind.”

“...You alright?” Delisaster also felt a little queasy at the sight, remembering Chouxe. He didn't know exactly if rabbits had enough conscious thought in them to understand something bad happening to their fellow rabbits, but he hoped Chouxe was dumb enough to not realize. Or that Pops had taken her inside the cottage and out of the view of the Rafflesian mirrors. 

“I'll be fine.” Rayne grimaced, “But I will be having a talk with Agito after this.” 

Delisaster, not knowing who Agito was but wanting to show support for the serious guy, patted Rayne on the shoulder before turning his attention back to Mash, who was starting to turn up the crazy against the shadow eater. He contorted his body on the floor to face upward, sucking down the creature onto his level before choking it out. 

“Oh, he did a triangle choke… Pops is probably having an aneurysm back home,” Delisaster laughed lightly. “I remember he walked in on me trying to teach Mash how to do that once and he got so scared because he had no clue what we were trying to do.”

“...Were you letting him try to choke you? ”

“Nah, I’m not suicidal. I was doing it on a pillow to demonstrate. Though, to Pops, it probably looked like something else… it was pretty funny to watch him freak out in the moment, but he scolded me for a while after that, so I didn’t do that again.” 

They watched as the mirrors showed Mash’s group meeting back together, then discussing ways to get around the house the quickest. 

“It’s unfortunate that the mics aren’t the best with picking up sound,” Delisaster muttered. “I’d like to know what the hell they think they’re doing.”

“It looks like they’re trying to form a battering ram foundation… Though, I have no idea what they would use it for.”

“Oohh…” Delisaster had a revelation. “I think… I might have a bit of an idea.”

Just as Mash had crashed through the walls of the maze at his entrance ceremony, so too did he and his friends end up crashing through the walls of the manor— just, in a way more fortified manner, with their entire team standing atop Doll Guy’s summons and using their magic to accelerate the speed of movement. Delisaster had to take off points for them having used Mash as a battering ram, though… he admired the innovation, for sure, but giving their team leader brain damage was not the way to go.

“ I realized it would be easier to get the stars after beating the snot out of you,” Mash said on the mirror. “ I’ll try to go easy on you too. ”

“Mashie, please, you’re giving your big bro second-hand embarrassment…” Delisaster groaned as he sank into his seat, covering his face with his hands. “I think blondie’s cringe is rubbing off on him. I can’t watch this anymore. Tell me if anything exciting happens.” 

“...They’re about to get in a fight.”

“Oh, shit.” Delisaster straightened up and returned his attention to the screen, squinting as he tried to make sense of what he was seeing. Mash was straightening out the heavy wand he had, stretching its metal into a longer stick reminiscent of a cue stick. With the large, very circular bugs buzzing around the room, Delisaster had a pretty clear idea of what was about to happen.  “...I don’t really think this is much of a fight, though? Mashie’s just going to play billiards with them.”

“ That’s what he’s doing?” 

“Learn to appreciate the unexpected more, alright?” Delisaster laughed, clapping his hands together joyfully as Mash, just as he'd expected, started to knock away his opponents with his enlarged wand. “Oh, wow, he put a bit of a spin on that last one!”

“Unfortunately, he didn't manage to get rid of Rosequartz. It might be difficult for him to manage.” Rayne noted.

Delisaster pursed his lips and stayed silent as he watched Mash battle it out with Blondie on the mirror’s broadcast. The blond kid’s magic was clearly something to do with magnets— not necessarily something he’d think of as being ‘strong’, exactly, but in practice… it seemed rather formidable in the blond kid’s hands. He kept creating large spiked balls and obstacles to attract to and hit Mash, and even though Mash himself was able to counter the magnetic forces with sheer brute strength, it seemed that Blondie was gaining on him.

When Mash managed to launch one of his magnets back at him, it seemed that was the breaking point for Blondie, who pulled a second wand straight out of his ass (figuratively, though the literal bit was still on the table here). “Cute. Here’s a little trick of my own that I’ve been saving.”

A large metal box spawned from out of nowhere, crashing down atop Mash. Delisaster grit his teeth— he knew more or less what that was, though he’d never seen one in person. “Hey, how the actual fuck did that kid have enough experience wielding two wands to cast a confinement cage?”

Rayne looked troubled too. “The wand is probably his brother’s, but Lovie Rosequartz only fell ill about two years ago. Learning that spell in two years…”

A picture was forming in Delisaster’s head that he didn’t quite like. “Ugh, lemme take a guess. The kid’s got daddy issues of some sort?” 

“...Well…”

Delisaster sighed, slumping back into his seat. He didn’t really want to watch the rest of the match— even if Mash would no doubt make it to the end of this in order to beat Domina, it was still not very fun to watch the kid suffer.  “Wonderful. So Walkis has two psychopathic little crazies with daddy issues and no self control, and the Bureau is just letting them beef it out with my lil bro because your egomaniac of a colleague decided eugenics was the way to go?”

“To be clear, Orter wasn’t the only one that approved of the plan, but he was the main driving force behind it.” Rayne sighed. He looked more tired than before as he continued, “I might be one of the stronger Visionaries in terms of magical power, but the fact is that I don’t have enough sway among the rest of them to change their opinion in that regard.”

“Nah, don’t apologize. I get it.” Delisaster put a hand to his forehead, rubbing circles into it to calm his anxiety. It was good enough knowing that he had at least tried to protest against letting Mash fight. “You’re doing your best and all, for yourself and Freckles and the rest of those poor little guys out there who didn’t get handed the best cards. It would just be easier if the other government losers could do something good too.”

“...You would make a good addition to the Visionary Ranks, you know.” 

“ Huh? ” Delisaster turned to look at the guy slowly, almost not believing what he heard. Of all things that Rayne said, this was probably the most ridiculous. Seriously… a former warcriminal and mass murderer who had taken out three hundred stiffs just like Rayne… being told that he’d make a good Visionary? This wasn’t even fucking touching the fact that he was Innocent Zero’s son, or that he had a bit (okay, alright, it was just plain alcoholism, what ever, who gave a shit) of a drinking problem. “Expand on that?”

“Your magic is strong. You’re very resilient, and you’re good with people. If you’d gone to a magic school before Mash Burnedead was found…” Rayne trailed off. 

“What, like I coulda just changed the law to stop Mashie from being persecuted? It isn’t that simple, or else we wouldn’t be killing hundreds of magicless kids every year.” Delisaster frowned, ready to fire back with a rebuttal.

“That isn’t what I meant to say. It’s… if you had gone to Easton, or Walkis, or even Saint Ars… you could have easily been able to outshine even Ryoh in terms of magic power and performance.” Rayne looked away. “And… I would have liked working alongside you.”

“...You are really shit at giving people encouragement, aren’t you?” Delisaster covered his face with his hands, biting his lip when— despite all his best efforts— his face grew hotter. “Ugh. Just cause you think I’d be a good Visionary doesn’t mean it’d actually happen.”

“Well, maybe not in all cases. But when it comes to this… I think that I’m correct,” Rayne said. A hand came to rest on his shoulder, and even though Delisaster scooted away from Rayne, the grip he held just grew tighter. “You’re even trying to run away after being given a compliment… if anything, I think you’re just bad at receiving praise.”

“Shut the hell up, you goddamn brat!” Delisaster whisper-yelled while shielding his reddened face from Rayne, though his attention was quickly recaptured by the sounds of loud explosions coming from the mirror display.

“Wait, hold on, what happened?” 

“What’s going on, I can’t see anything!” 

Murmurs spread through the Grand Hall as all the spectators struggled to make out anything through the cloud of haze being displayed on the Rafflesian Mirrors. 

“Ehh.. is it that kid’s personal magic?” Delisaster wondered out loud, keen to move past the awkward conversation from before with Rayne.

“Which one?”

“The red-headed one. Ah… you know, wears a bandanna for a hair tie… looks a bit like a hedgehog… makes good tea?”

“Ah, you mean Dot Barrett. Yes, he was the one left behind when your brother was trapped in the box.” Rayne squinted as the mirrors finally cleared, just to reveal Mash standing in front of Lévis Rosequartz and shielding his fallen friend from the mirror’s view. “It seems he managed to get the key needed to free Mash Burnedead.”

“Yeah-huh. And now… ooh, looks like Mashie’s about to beat the shit out of that poor, unsuspecting little elitist,” Delisaster muttered. “I’m still sorta hung up on that weird two-wands thing, though, ya feel? Seriously, what is the Bureau Head making his children do?”

“Probably something along the lines of what you said Innocent Zero made you do… of course, on a smaller scale. I doubt the Bureau Head’s trying to raise supervillain kids to take over the world, though… Lévis Rosequartz does have a bit of a problematic past.” Without even needing Delisaster to ask, Rayne continued, “He used to be an Easton student, but he was expelled in his first year. It was a big deal among the upperclassmen… apparently, he’d injured a teacher so badly that he’d nearly killed them. The only reason he managed to get away with it was thanks to his father’s interference.”

Delisaster scrunched his face up as he looked back to the screen at the blond kid who seemed now to be engaged in the middle of a scuffle with Mash. “Yeah-huh. So… Mr. Serious, care to tell me again about how this Bureau Chief guy isn’t trying to raise supervillain kids?”

“Look, his first son is normal as far as I know,” Rayne rebutted. “Most of what I know about him was from Wirth Madl, since they were in the same social circles when they were young…”

“Don’t know who that is, but, eh. Go on.”

“Aristocrat of the Madl family. Orter Madl’s younger brother… though, they are estranged. I don’t know how much of that is because of Orter’s… unique personality… but I wouldn’t be surprised to hear that Wirth was trying to distance himself from Orter because of that and the values he holds.” 

“Yeaaah… not really much of a surprise that Sand Guy’s brother hates his ass. I totally would too in his shoes.” Delisaster returned his attention to Blondie, who was standing motionless in front of Mash and Red-head. His hunched-over posture made it difficult to see the entirety of his lines and face, and Delisaster felt a lurch of disgust rise up in him as he realized just how similar they really looked. 

“ You’re rubbish… I will never accept an idiotic clown like you.” A third line carved itself open on his face, and Delisaster felt his frown grow deeper as he watched the kid cackle. “ Summon… Adamas, God of Magnetism!”

“Well… looks like he’s got you beat for youngest recorded guy to get a third mark,” Delisaster remarked. He was worried for Mash still, but he doubted it would take his brother much to punch through the defense. If a suit of armor was all the third line bought him, then there was no way this kid was anywhere near Mash’s level. “Though, I mean, you’ve totally got him beat in terms of cool-looking summons. Like, seriously, what the hell even is that loser-ass tinfoil suit?”

“...You shouldn’t be comparing a student’s magic to a Visionary’s magic. It’s… an impressive suit of armor that I’m sure fits its purpose…” Rayne said, his ears red. 

Delisaster just snorted in reply. “Sure, whatever you say. It’s cute, watching you try and be all humble.” 

Rayne just turned away, ignoring Delisaster’s snickering. “Mash Burnedead is gaining on him.”

“Told you,” Delisaster sing-songed, looking over at the mirrors as well, watching with pride as his little brother punched through Rosequartz’s defenses, landing one that broke apart the magnetic suit completely. “Not that there was any chance of him winning against Mashie in any case… ah.” 

Blondie’s voice echoed loud and clear over the speakers. “ You’re up against Domina next. You don’t stand a chance of winning. ”

Delisaster’s expression flattened out into an unpleased grimace. He knew what was coming next, and even though both his lives knowledge told him that it was more or less a decisive victory for Mash, there was still a strum of panic in his heartbeat.

“Why is that?” Mash asked. 

“ He’s inhuman. I’ve seen it firsthand. He’s even tougher than the Visionaries… actually, a long time ago, someone wrecked one of the Divine Visionaries so bad there was no hope for them. They say it was Domina who did it. And he was just a kid at the time… What’s worse is that he has the literal power of a god behind him.” Blondie, who was still monologuing, hadn’t yet noticed that Mash had already left. “ Strong as you are, you won’t… huh…?”

Delisaster burst out in a fit of giggles despite the gravity of the situation, snorting at his brother’s pragmatism being put on full display. “Ahaha, oh my God, of course Mashie would just leave in the middle of a monologue… Oh, gosh. Do they even know where he is? The Rafflesian Mirrors don’t even know where to turn— jeez, this whole thing is a mess.”

“Looks like they’ve found him.” Rayne pointed at the south-most mirror that showed Mash right at the precipice facing the platform that housed the Wand of Beginnings. “...I have no idea what Kaldo was thinking, allowing the Wand of Beginnings to be used even when we knew Domina Blowelive would be participating.”

He probably wasn’t thinking to begin with, Delisaster thought, but he held his tongue. “It’s fine. Mash’ll definitely beat that little poser. He’s got it in the bag.” 

But even if he wins, Father will get the wand anyway… wait. How did this go again…? A sudden thought occurred to him, and Delisaster shot straight up in his chair, turning to face Rayne. “Hey, quick question. D’you know the quickest way to get to the, the… oh, you know, the arena place? Where they’re currently duking it out?” 

“It takes twenty-five minutes from Easton to get to Grief Manor if we go by broom, but if you’re riding on a sword then we might be able to shorten it to fifteen.” 

Delisaster pursed his lips. “Oookay. Gotcha. And if I leave now, are you gonna make me explain my reasoning in front of a courtroom again?”

“No, but if you’re going to leave now, I’d ask to come along. And if it’s something urgent, it’d be a good idea to send out a message to the other Visionaries as well.”

That was as good a ‘yes’ as Delisaster would get, he supposed. It didn’t take long for the both of them to discreetly leave the box seats and pry open a window in the upper hallway to exit through. He was honestly surprised Rayne hadn’t asked more questions— though, in retrospect, maybe that was just the sort of person Rayne was… if he trusted someone, he would take their word to face value no matter how dangerous a situation it might be. 

And by the way, that was a whole other can of worms that Delisaster didn’t really have time to unpack right now, but… it was a source of comfort, at least, in the moment as he was racing to try and help his younger brother(s, possibly). “Why is it so difficult to get there? Wasn’t there some sort of teleport thing that took the contestants into the Depression House in the first place?”

“There was, but it was a one-use thing. The Magical Items Administration had the waypoint prepared months in advance, since they’re difficult to set up and have to go through rounds of rigorous testing before they can be considered safe enough to ferry multiple people through,” Rayne explained over the rush of the wind, completely ignoring Delisaster’s purposeful slip-up. “It doesn’t matter now, we’re drawing close. Keep close to me.”

“Huh? Sure, but why…” Delisaster trailed off as they drew close to the manor, his eyes narrowing as he sensed the thrum of the magic barrier around the manor. Rayne pulled him closer with a loose arm wrapped round his waist, forcing the two of them to stand side-by-side while passing by the barrier.

From what he remembered, Doom had come to interfere in the competition at the very last second, once it became evident that Domina would lose. And he’d simply been able to walk right through the barrier— hell, Delisaster could easily get through this barrier, even without Rayne nearby. It was clear that the Visionaries, despite the warnings he’d given, were nowhere near close enough to resist if this was the extent of their ability. “Ehh… Mr. Serious, I can get through this myself, y’know.”

“Just humor me.” 

Inside the barrier, they both touched down on the grass, staring up at Grief Manor. Delisaster took a second to memorize his surroundings in case they needed a quick retreat, then headed in.

“Y’know, I thought you’d ask at least once what we were doing here,” Deliaster commented as they made their way through the winding hallways, following the trail of destruction that Mash and his friends had made throughout the once grand manor. 

“I don’t make a habit of distrusting those close to me,” Rayne said… and again, that was something Delisaster would have to come back to and possibly have a chit-chat about not trusting people so easily after only a few meetings… but that should really wait until after he’d managed to retrieve Mash and Domina safely. Assuming Mash had already beaten Domina, which wasn’t necessarily guaranteed, given how impressive that kid’s magic was for his age. 

“There. That’s the control room we saw before. The entrance should be… right through there.” 

“Yeah, alright… we shouldn’t waste any more time.” Delisaster said as they both ran in.

I don’t want to find out what’ll happen if we’re too late.

Chapter Text

Fifteen years ago, in a lifetime that was no longer his, Delisaster had been closest with Doom out of all his brothers. It had puzzled Cell War to no end and Father had been privately intrigued by their relationship. In their eyes, it seemed like Delisaster and Doom being close was some sort of anomaly— and right now, it sure would be, but back then, it was just common sense.

Famin was always fighting with Doom— well, fighting ‘with’ would be an incorrect use of the term, considering it was always Famin provoking Doom and simply dealing with the consequences— and Epidem had always been the lone wolf of the family, as stupid as that sounded. Not that it didn’t make sense, because who would want to hang out with that pudding-obsessed maniac? Doom was the only relatively ‘normal’ one out of his brothers, and whether it was because Delisaster had been a particularly endearing child or because Doom had a hidden parental side to him, they'd both been attached to each other by the hip in childhood. 

Back then, Doom had almost been a sort of ‘second father’ to him.

Now, though, as he and Rayne rushed into the middle of the torn up and damaged battlefield, both of their wands drawn, Delisaster couldn’t even bring himself to feel any sort of admiration at Doom’s refined technique as he and Mash clashed fist to sword. Instead, all he felt was a burning rage. They'd come just in time to see Doom and Father break into Grief Manor, after all. “ Ascalon! ” 

Father was the first to realize his and Rayne’s presence, just barely managing to direct the flurry of polearms away from him and Doom in time. Doom glanced back at them over his shoulder carelessly, before re-engaging Mash in a fight. “Delisaster… my dear son. Have you decided to come back home as well?” 

Rayne narrowed his eyes as he charged forward, summoning a cascade of Partisans to aim at Father. “Don’t address him so familiarly. He isn’t your son any longer.”

Father raised an eyebrow, easily dodging the swords and Rayne’s own physical attacks with minimal effort. Before, Father’s affinity for magic and power had been something of a point of pride for Delisaster, but now, it was just a major annoyance. “Repeating one lie a thousand times will not make it more true than if it was to be said only once. You must be my dear son’s companion… well, I’ll tell you this right now. Delisaster, as all my sons are, is part of me. Made for me. And he has finally realized that this little… ‘teenage’ rebellion of his can no longer continue, and that his true purpose is back home, with me. With us. Why else would he be here?”

“What fucking reason do you think, old man?” Delisaster grit out. Part of him still couldn’t spew any actual insults at Father, as much as he wanted to tell his shitty excuse of an actual parent to screw off and let him and Mash live in peace. “ Ascalon! Tell Doom to get the hell away from my baby bro! Let him pick on someone his own fucking size for once, would you?” 

Father simply smiled. Nonchalant as ever… “Well, if you’re so insistent on it, how could I deny such a heartfelt plea from my dear son? Doom, finish this quickly.”

Rayne looked like he was about to do something— either lunge forward at Father or try to pull Delisaster back from lunging at Father— and while Delisaster would normally encourage stupid decisions, this was 1) not really the time for it, and 2) totally not in character for Rayne. He pulled the serious guy back by the arm, leaning over to whisper in his ear. “Hey. Go get Domina and Mashie out of here for me, would you?” 

“But you—”

“Oh, pssh. I’ll be fine. Father has this sort of complex, you know, where he’s just gotta degrade his opponents before they lose? He and Doom will drag it out. There’s enough time to get the two of them out and come back for me, so don’t worry about it.”

“Are you done chit-chatting, Delisaster? It’s not good to keep your brother waiting.” Father called. Delisaster pushed Rayne in the shoulder gently. “Go on, yeah? I’m a-okay staying here, so go and worry about the kids instead.” 

“...Fine. But you’d better be safe by the time I come back for you.” Rayne said, and though it was already a lost cause, Delisaster stood in Father’s path when he made to stand up and go after the already leaving Rayne. 

“Hm. Protecting your companion, Delisaster? It’s good to see you’ve made such fond connections… how unfortunate that those must come to pass because of your rebellion. Well, no matter. Your brother can set you straight.” Father waved a hand haphazardly in Doom’s direction. “Doom, come here. Another one of your younger siblings needs disciplining.”

“I’ve only got one little brother, and his name’s Mash Burnedead, not Mash ‘Marcus’. Doom’s just your son.” Delisaster narrowed his eyes, readying his wand. 

“And I suppose after this you’ll be bragging that you no longer have any brothers at all,” Doom said. There was no emotion to the statement, just something that he regarded as pure fact about Delisaster’s finicky sort of personality. It was just another straw on the camel’s back that would easily collapse soon under the stress. “Considering that child back there was holding back his strength, he would make a worthy opponent if he had the chance to live longer… but since you can’t beat me, you’re only buying time for him to slowly succumb to his injuries.”

This version of the man— no longer an older brother, instead just 'Father's eldest son’— was an enigma to him.

“The hell did you do to Mash?” Delisaster asked, casting first. “ASCALON! Tell me, you sonuvabitch. What did you do to my brother?” What he saw of Mash didn’t seem that injured, but if Doom had used his magic power, maybe… 

“I did as Father asked,” Doom answered simply, and though that was more or less the answer Delisaster had expected from the man, it still brought a sick feeling into his mouth. He swung with Caladbolg, and Delisaster hurried to counter with an Ascalon. It barely stood up under the weight of the sword, and he was forced to push back, throwing another Ascalon to fend Doom off. “Which is what we all should have done… and yet, you disobeyed Father and even stole not one, but two hearts. Do you have any idea what happened after you left?”

“How the fuck would I know? Magol Castle isn’t exactly, like, celebrity hot gossip or anything.”

“Father was beside himself when he noticed the two of you missing,” Doom said slowly. He moved forward and swung again, barely missing Delisaster’s arm. The screech of Caladbolg on the floor grated on Delisaster’s ears. “ Thirty percent. It was Famin who was the first to speak up when Father asked. He said he saw you leaving the nursery in the night with that child wrapped in your arms, and that you’d run away before he could catch up to you.”

“Oh, yeah? Sounds like a him problem, personally. I totally could’a done it,” Delisaster snarked, hissing when Caladbolg scratched the side of his cheek. It hurt— a large, thin cut had already opened on his face, a burning intensity that seared into his cheek. And yet, it only made him want to go further, try harder to at least hold Doom off, at least for the time being. “And I didn’t see Famin at all. Couldn’t you do something about that ‘creeping on others’ habit of his?”

“It doesn’t matter whether or not you saw him. What matters is that he was there, and he hadn’t stopped you.” Doom swung again, harder, this time. Delisaster’s eyes widened, and he barely managed to shield himself with a wall of Ascalons. His shoulder hurt. 

“You’re trying to say that…”

“He’s recovered now. It’s been many years. But you wouldn’t truly understand… what it’s like to face Father’s displeasure.” No, that wasn’t true. In his past life, Delisaster had been at the receiving end of Father’s upsets a number of times, though it hadn’t nearly been as much as Famin, who had been dragged kicking and screaming into insanity when he’d been a teenager. But… to think it’d happened earlier this time… all because that man hadn’t ratted him out when he’d escaped?

It felt like there was lead in his mouth as he tried to get out his next words. “You should have left with me.”

Doom didn’t reply for a moment, too caught up in their fight to respond. “All that is in the past. It was selfish for you to leave, but it would be worse of us if we had left with you. One child and a magicless whelp missing is nothing… but if all six of us had gone, that would have been a problem. In any case, all of that is futile. Father’s word is absolute. Sixty percent. ”

“For you, maybe,” Delisaster replied. He looked back for a second, and once he realized that Rayne, Mash and Domina were nowhere to be seen and leapt to make space between the two of them. “But that’s not true for me or Mash, or hell, even the rest of this already Gods-damned world! Summon Athena, God of Combat! Gigantomachia! ” 

A flurry of spears rained down on Doom, who looked caught off guard for a moment before readjusting his stance and deflecting the spears with Caldalbolg. For each one that he knocked away, another larger, sharper and more piercing polearm took its place, moving so fast that they were nearly invisible. Well, to Delisaster, at least. Mash could probably see them as clear as day. It was a much stronger version of the Thirds summon that he had used to beat Rayne to near-death, amplified by two lifetimes of experience, and yet… when the spears cleared, Doom still stood straight. A polearm had been lodged into his shoulder, and one had evidently knocked off his helmet, but otherwise, he was more or less unharmed save for a few scratches.

“You’ve gotten much stronger, I see. Then, in that case… I should give you the same regard. Take this as my acknowledgement, then. Not as a younger brother, but as my sole opponent.” Doom’s blank white eyes narrowed. "I'll face you at one hundred percent power.”

Delisaster recoiled as the wave of power rolled over him, staggering backwards as Doom readied his Caladbolg again. The force of the magic power was unbearable . He didn’t think he’d ever felt this much pain before, and yet… still, he mustered up the strength to stand straight, blood dribbling from his mouth as he bared his teeth in a shark-toothed grin. It was a futile fight— Doom had made it clear many times before that at even just ninety percent, Delisaster’s polearms would be unable to pierce him wholly.

But if he was going to die, then why not die like this? It would at least be less embarrassing than dying to Rayne and Freckles…

“Gh— Fine, then. If you insist on being this annoying… I’ll just have to beat you all over again.”

“Hold on. Doom, yield.” Father held out a hand, looking around. Doom stopped in his tracks at the motion— if Delisaster was in a better state, he’d probably take the chance to stab him. “This time isn’t right. I can sense several presences approaching… hm. It seems the Divine Visionaries have arrived. We’ll finish this up later. Come, Doom. There’s no need to waste your time on petty trifles here.”

They went to leave, but before Father opened the portal, he turned to look back at Delisaster, who was busy trying to stifle the blood from his wounds. “And as for you… Delisaster. What you choose to count as ‘family’ is no problem of mine. So long as your heart beats steady, know that you will always be my son. I’ll take it back sooner than later, but until then… know that your ‘peace’ will be short lived.”

Delisaster couldn’t make himself speak. He simply watched in silence as Father and Doom left, staring off into the blank space where they had vanished, sitting down on the ground to stabilize himself— and then deciding to lie down and curl into a ball. His limbs ached, his sides ached, there was a burning wound in his side and he was faintly aware of the frenzied thumping of the heart in his chest. The sound of footsteps echoed in the hallway, growing closer and closer, but Delisaster couldn’t bring himself to get up. World hard and cold, floor… also hard and cold, but easier to curl up into a ball on.

“Delisaster!” The first person to enter the destroyed room where he and Doom had been fighting was Rayne, who rushed over to his side as soon as he’d spotted him, kneeling down to take Delisaster into his arms. “You said you’d be fine .”

“I said I’d be safe,” Delisaster shot back, grunting in pain as he jostled a cut on his side. “Which I am… for, like, the next few weeks or something til the eclipse.”

“You…” Rayne knitted his eyebrows together, before presumably remembering exactly what he’d said, and sighing. “...You should go and rest. Your brother and Domina Blowelive are both being treated right now. Mash Burnedead asked me to help take care of you, since he believed you wouldn’t do it yourself.”

“Well, that’s not very nice of him. I need to talk to that kid soon…” Delisaster pressed a hand to his head, fumbling around until he found the large cut on his cheek, stifling the flow of blood as he sat up.

“We saw the broadcast while rushing over,” the Nerd Cane said, coming to help as well. “Innocent Zero said he was going to take your heart, did he not?” 

“Yeah. On the Eclipse… and if he can’t take my heart, then he can’t ascend to Godhood. So… oh, actually, I think that means I’m gonna get hunted for the next few weeks. Ugh. That’s not good for Pops or Chouxe…”

“Who’s Choose?” Detached limbs guy came up to them, whistling when he saw the state of the room. “Your fight was impressive, y’know. That vent-guy looked like a pretty hard challenge. That’s Innocent Zero’s first son, yeah? The one you told us about?”

“That’s my rabbit… she's named after… after creampuffs. Uhh… not Doom, that dude is Fa… Innocent Z’s son,” Delisaster slurred, leaning into Rayne’s embrace. It was probably better for him to lie down instead— he was a bit dizzy from blood loss, having kicked in once the adrenaline factor had left— but Rayne was comfortable, and it didn’t seem like he minded having to hold Delisaster up much. “Very… very difficult guy to fight. Your best chance is probably ganging up on him all at once… though, of course, if Innocent Zero’s round, he's totally gonna stop you.”

“Alright, alright, back up! Let’s give our super manly savior here some space, everyone!” Light Guy came up, separating the small throng of Visionaries before steering Delisaster— and Rayne, who came along to help steady him— away from them. “Oh, yikes. You look pretty roughed up. You think you need emergency care?”

Delisaster considered it, then shrugged. 

“Ehh… I should be fine in a bit.” The bandages on his arms covering the wounds he’d received from his last fight with Doom definitely told another story, but he had long sleeves on, so it wasn’t as if anyone would be able to tell that he was lying. “Maybe something to patch up my face? Cause, y’know. I can’t go looking round like I had a real bad shaving accident or anything.”

“Ah, I understand,” Light Guy nodded sagely. “Alright. I’ll go and get that arranged for you, but in the meantime, you should go head home and rest. Say bye to your Pops, and stuff..”

“Wait, what?” Delisaster lurched forward suddenly, groaning when he jostled one of his injuries. Rayne quickly moved to help adjust their position, wrapping an arm around his waist and hoisting Delisaster’s left arm over his shoulders. “What do you mean I gotta say bye to Pops?”

“Didn’t you just say yourself that Innocent Zero needs your heart to become immortal? We don’t exactly want the biggest crime lord of our century becoming a god, you know… and if you stay with your Pops, aren’t you just putting him in danger?” The Undead Cane snapped his fingers. “We’ll give you a suite in the Bureau and all, y’know, put you under surveillance and stuff… or, at least, like, a shitton of protection spells. And we’ll do it for your Pops, too, but if you decide to just stay with him in the forest, it’s just gonna get you both killed.”

“But…” Delisaster sucked in a breath. He’s right. I can’t put Pops in danger just because of my selfishness. There’s Mash to consider too… “Ugh… Fine, then. Do I still get to fight Father?”

“You’re actually still willing to do that?”

Despite the pain, Delisaster gave a shark-toothed grin to the woman who had asked the question. (He still wasn't saying her name, not because he didn't remember it... totally, it was totally out of spite.) “Are you kidding me, man? After all that, you think I don’t want to make him have a taste of the hell we had to go through?”

“Now that’s a manly answer!” The Light Cane snapped his fingers jovially, “The more the merrier! Rayne, I assume you’d like to be the one to train with Mr. Burnedead?”

“If he agrees to it.”

Delisaster glanced over at Rayne, who gave him an honest look. “It’s your choice on what you want to do. I won’t interfere.”

“It’s just funny that you thought I was gonna say no in the first place,” Delisaster laughed. “Yeah, I’m in. When do we start?”

Light shined through the giant stained glass window in the subspace that Delisaster had recreated from his own memory of his wing in Magol Castle. The light source came from some sort of fake sun that Delisaster hadn’t really thought about much further than ‘ooh, shiny’ when he’d decided to put it in, but it did help with mood lighting for sure. 

It’s exactly like the day I died. Delisaster ignored the voice in his head and instead stared straight ahead at his opponent. He and Rayne stood facing each other, both of them covered in a thin sheen of sweat. “Ready to go again, Mr. Serious?”

“Once more, and then we’ll take a break,” Rayne agreed, readying his wand. 

“Kay-kay… alrighty, I’m good to go. Three… two… Ascalon!” 

Delisaster struck before he reached one, though Rayne was already prepared for the switch up, casting a wall of Partisans to counter Delisaster’s Ascalons. Though his Partisans still broke under the pressure of Delisaster’s unending flurry of polearms, it wasn’t anything like the Rayne he had faced a lifetime ago. That, or Delisaster was unconsciously holding back on the guy, which was… not too likely, probably. 

“ Partisan Surf!” Rayne leaped atop one of his swords when it became apparent that avoiding Delisaster’s Ascalons wasn’t a viable option, instead weaving his way through the air erratically to try and avoid Delisaster’s attacks— a habit he’d picked up after Delisaster had knocked him out of the air one too many times with a well-timed Ascalon.

“Think you can keep up with me, serious guy?” Delisaster taunted as he dodged and ran around the attacks that Rayne threw his way. 

He didn’t touch his wand to cast another Ascalon, even when Rayne started to lob Black Partisans at him— after all, there would be no way in hell Delisaster would be able to actually fight Father or any of his sons one-on-one if he couldn’t even manage to dodge Rayne’s attacks. The healing of the Devil’s Hearts would be annoying to try and override, but he wouldn’t be able to overpower that regeneration at all if he was fucking dead.

“You know, you keep saying that you and Mash Burnedead are on different levels of physical prowess, but from what I can see, you’re just as well-rounded as he is,” Rayne noted as if it was some sort of fact and not his own delusion. 

“Just because you can’t catch up to me while I’m running on foot doesn’t reflect on me so much as it does on you,” Delisaster shrugged. (In fairness to Rayne, Delisaster actually wasn’t wearing abnormally high heels for once, so that could have had something to do with it.) “We’re not playing tag , y’know.”

“No, we aren’t, but…” Rayne started, trailing off. Delisaster looked back to where he had been standing a moment before, narrowing his eyes when he saw no trace of the man at all. For a second, he thought he was seeing things, but then, a large cloud of black magic obscured his sight, and Delisaster coughed as he quickly whipped out his wand.

“ Ascalon!” 

“ Black Partisan!” Rayne’s Secondth smashed into the floor, five large swords teeming with black magic clanging against Delisaster’s polearms and finally breaking through, just barely managing to corner Delisaster into a box of blades.

“Ugh… you’re so not playing fair, y’know that?” Delisaster shook his loose hair out of his face, glaring at Rayne, who just shrugged, a privately amused smile on his face. “I told you I wouldn’t be using as much magic, and then you went ahead and used that to screw me over!”

“I didn’t do anything,” Rayne denied. “It was you who let your guard down. Besides, this is the only time I’ve been able to beat you. Shouldn’t you at least let me celebrate that?”

Delisaster tsk’ed, “Ugh. Fine, fine, whatever! …That’s what I get for thinking you’re a standup guy. Tricked and bamboozled by the Sword Cane himself… just kidding. That sorta stuff would totally make headlines, wouldn’t it?” 

“Don’t go around spreading rumors,” Rayne said. The guy was probably trying to go for a ‘reprimanding’ sort of tone, but it wasn’t working very well on Delisaster, who very rarely felt any sort of shame. “If you start making rumors, then I’ll have to match that.”

“Haha, what kind of threat is that?” Delisaster laughed as he approached the exit of the pocket realm, pulling Rayne through the dimensional door with him and flopping backwards onto the couch they returned next to. “You can’t lie for shit, Mr. Serious. It’s, like, your main character trait.”

“I don’t need to lie to start a rumor. You’ve been doing enough rumor-spreading on your own,” Rayne said. “The other day, Sophina came to ask me if you’d decided to drop out of the operation against Innocent Zero after all, because some of the employees were saying that you had been flirting with people on break.”

“Huh? Huh???? Who the hell said that?” Delisaster straightened up on the couch, giving Rayne a glare as he simply waved him off. “Hey! Mr. Serious, I’m talking to you! You can’t just ignore me!”

“Don’t worry about it. I already took care of it for you, so there’s no problem.”

“There’s definitely a problem if people are talking about bullshit like that! All I’ve ever done with your government lackeys is ask them what fucking time it is… so how the hell does stuff like that turn into flirting!? If I was flirting with someone, they’d know it for fucking sure!” Delisaster huffed, collapsing back into the couch. 

“Which is why it isn’t your fault. Most of the blame lies with the employees themselves… the sort of people who haven’t ever had an attractive person speak to them, so they assume the most of something small.” Rayne said casually. “In any case, it’s resolved, like I said. I dealt with it myself, in case you don’t trust me.”

“Ugh…” Delisaster pouted. “Now you’re guilttripping me. Fine, whatever. I'll let it slide this one time.”

“If you say so.” Rayne's faint amusement was subtle but clear in his voice and Delisaster couldn't just let that slide, so he flipped him off as he folded his free arm over his face. “...By the way, how are your injuries?”

“They're not infected or anything, which is… eh, probably as good as it's gonna get,” Delisaster shrugged. He sat up, rolling up the sleeves of his shirt to show Rayne his bandaged arms. “At least the cut on my cheek’s healing well. Oh, speaking of recovery, how's the kid doing?”

“Domina Blowelive or your brother?”

“Uhh, Domina, but if you know anything about Mashie’s time with Meliadoul I’d be stoked to hear about how he's doing.”

“I only know things about Mash Burnedead’s training, not how he’s personally doing. As for Domina… last I heard from Ryoh, he was thinking of taking him in to raise with his son and helping rehabilitate him,” Rayne answered. “He said that Blowelive took a liking to Mash and you, after you went to fight Doom so recklessly for their sakes.”

“Are you seriously still holding a grudge over that? Get over it already, dude,” Delisaster pouted. “I mean, act nonchalant all you like, but if it was Freckles in Mashie’s place you would've done the same damn thing.”

“...I'm going out to get lunch. Is there anything you want?”

There he goes, changing the topic again…  those two are never gonna make up at this rate, unless something happens while they’re fighting Father. Maybe I should look into setting up some sort of outing for them. “A glass of wine?”

“I'll get you a sandwich.”

“With fries and a glass of wine…?” Delisaster asked pleadingly, trying his best to make puppy eyes at the stoic asshole standing in the door.

“With fries, no wine. I'll be back in twenty minutes.” Rayne said. Delisaster collapsed back into the couch dramatically, but Rayne paid no attention to his antics and shut the door to his office behind him.

With Rayne gone, Delisaster didn’t really have anything he had to do. Operating on autopilot, he got up and went into the side room off Rayne’s office (the Bureau employees had reportedly been relieved that they hadn’t had to renovate another room for his quarantine in the government building) and took off his shirt, frowning when he saw his image in the mirror. 

His entire chest was covered in layers and layers of bandages— and when they healed, which would probably take months at this point, considering the ones on his arms had only just started scarring— there would be a patchwork of marks from where Doom had managed to only nick him slightly. 

Delisaster hummed quietly as he started picking away at the tightly bound layers of bandage, unwinding a new wrap to reapply a clean layer. Whenever he had to repeat this routine, it felt like his room was shrinking to trap himself inside of a blank white box, no escape in sight.

This past month living at the Bureau had been more difficult than Delisaster expected. Well— no, that wasn’t right. He had expected it to be difficult, expected Father to come after him at least a few times, but none of that actually happened. Instead, it felt more like Father was trying to blueball him, dragging out the process without actually doing anything just to keep Delisaster on his toes.

Well, the joke was on Father, cause while he was playing 4D chess, Delisaster was busy losing minesweeper. 

The more difficult part about having to live in the Bureau was actually how much he missed Pops and Mash. Chouxe, at least, he’d been able to bring with him, since Rayne already kept a pen of bunnies in his offices, and she’d been getting along surprisingly well with the other rabbits Rayne kept. Well… Delisaster thought they did, at least. (He had tied a yellow bow atop her head to differentiate Chouxe from the rest of the bunnies, but he always caught her trying to chew it off. Was there such a thing as rabbit peer pressure? )

But Pops had went to live with Brastrap for the time being, in a ‘hidden base’ for his protection— Delisaster had yelled about it for a few days afterward, and Rayne had gone to personally ‘audit’ the two of them just to shut him up— and Mash was busy training with Meliadoul 24/7, so Delisaster couldn’t even see either of them or call (since it was only Mash who had the rabbiphone) when his schedule was free. Though he’d never admit it out loud— and only barely admitted it to himself— Delisaster felt lonely, away from his family.

It was good that Rayne was here with him, or else he really would’ve been driven crazy in the past two weeks he’d spent cooped up in the Bureau.

Speaking of which… Delisaster groaned as a notification pinged on his rabbiphone, shrugging on a sweater before he rolled over to pick it up. For real, these Divine Visionaries were actually just lining up to try their hands at landing him in an insane asylum. “‘Sup? Who is this?”

“ It’s ya boy, Renatus,” Undead Guy said over the line. Delisaster cringed just listening to him (nevermind the fact that he was copying Delisaster’s manner of speaking! Seriously, what a lame ripoff.) “ Ryoh just wanted to check in and confirm the date you said I-Z was gonna try and take us all out. It was two days before the Eclipse itself, yeah?”

“Yep,” Delisaster said. “That gives ten more days to get the evacuation process over with… but, you guys already started that a week ago, right? So you should be almost done finalizing it by now?” 

“ Yeah, yeah, we got it, don’t worry. You just worry your pretty little head about that whole beefing up to fist-fight your shit dad thing.” 

Delisaster scowled, about to yell at the guy, before a knock sounded at his door. He looked up, then back at the rabbiphone. Rayne was probably waiting on the other side, and he didn’t really want to waste time talking to this jackass. “‘Kay, whatever. I’m gonna go now. Toodles, bitchface.”

“ What did y—” Delisaster hung up on him, hurrying over to the door. 

“Mr. Serious, did you—?”

Delisaster’s eyes widened as he saw the man standing in the doorway, cutting himself off in the middle of his sentence.

“Hm. Your hair is different from before.” A smile spread across Famin’s face as he leered at Delisaster, who reached for his wand, only to have an invisible card slice his hand open as he went to lunge for it.

“I want it.”