Chapter Text
The gaming setup is an atrocious RGB colored nightmare.
The case is garish, a glowing mess that always jumpscares Kaeya whenever he walks into the basement to do laundry while all of the lights are off and it suddenly comes to life. It is, however, a great computer— he logs on to see that the last family did indeed wipe all the data, and so, with an open evening with nothing to do, Kaeya boots it up and downloads an old game he and Diluc used to play as kids— Nightfortress 2. He doesn’t know how many seasons it’s been since he last played— at least eight or nine years, but a familiar character greets him on opening the game. Him and his brother’s favorite character, decked out in fancy, expensive cosmetics.
He sighs, clicking through the new menu options to get to the game mode. To his surprise, a message pops up.
Now, he and Diluc shared a primary account, because their father did not see the point of buying the same skin twice (but also, to teach them about sharing)— so imagine Kaeya’s surprise when a stranger he never met messages him to play.
“Dude! Where were you last night? Were you busy again :(“
…?
“Last night? I haven’t logged on in ten years.”
“ lmao good one Lulu. Anyway are you free???”
Kaeya freezes.
He immediately logs off the game and grabs his phone, hitting Diluc’s number in his contacts list. When Diluc answers the phone, Kaeya’s barely restrained laughter erupts in full.
“Hel—”
“YOU STILL PLAY NIGHTFORTRESS???”
Click. Diluc hangs up.
(He also changes his password, booting Kaeya out of the game, but somehow, Kaeya doesn’t seem to mind.)
Today feels like a perfect day to see some old friends.
He’s still in the same group chat from the Host Club, though he found out that Mona graduated from the club in a surprisingly similar way to him. When he sees her at the cafe down the street, she has a designer bag on her arm and he quirks an eyebrow, wondering if it’s real— but he realizes that’s the latest one from that line. There wouldn’t be a bootleg of it yet…
“I see your sugar daddy is treating you well,” Kaeya muses.
“Don’t call her that.”
“Huh?” He blinks— Mona said she found her own high-ranking Fatui partner, thank you very much, and now Kaeya is very curious which one it is. Would Ajax know them…?
“What’s her name?”
“Lynette. Adopted daughter of one of the harbingers,” Mona beams with pride. “She’s the cutest thing, honestly… she came to the host club with a few of her coworkers and wouldn’t stop staring at me the entire night. Even though I knew it was risky, I exchanged numbers with her…” She gives a light shrug of the shoulders, “and here we are.”
… happenstance is weird. Kaeya looks to Thoma and Kokomi.
“Anyone else with an inexplicable Fatui partner?”
Thoma laughs at that, and Kokomi shakes her head.
“It’s just Kokomi working there now, right? Er, at the Host Club,” Kaeya takes a seat at the table, placing an order for a caramel macchiato.
“That’s right,” Kokomi sips her bubble tea, a playful smile on her face. “Thoma got a very generous sponsor, didn’t he?”
“… well, I suppose that’s one way to put it,” Thoma says, arms crossed over the table as he leans forward. “Ayato is pretty fun, though… not something you’d expect from the heir to the Kamisato Corporation. He’s playful and just a bit mean—”
“A rich guy is mean,” Kaeya grins, “What a shocker.”
“Not — specifically mean. Mischievous? Mischievous.” Thoma shakes his head. “In any case, Kaeya— you are a rich guy, now.”
Mona’s eyes light up briefly, wondering if she can push the check onto him…
“You are?”
“Brother forced me to take my inheritance. I got a house now. And what I said stands, even knowing that.”
“Really?” Kokomi’s voice is inquisitive. “… You’re talking to Diluc again?”
“Mmhm.”
“How did that happen?”
“…” Kaeya sighs, jaw slightly set. “He bought my workplace, then found out where I live because of it… came over, and it gradually opened a dialogue, I guess. He told me some things… it helped. It doesn’t fix anything, but it helped.”
Thoma pats Kaeya’s shoulder.
“I’m glad for you. You missed him, right?”
Kaeya scoffs, but it doesn’t sound honest. “… Not really, I got used to him not being here.”
Thoma knows that a lie is still an indirect answer in the opposite direction, and drops it. “In any case…”
The conversation takes on a lively tone of them ribbing one another, teasing gently and laughing. Grateful that Thoma dropped it but not so grateful that he won’t tease him, Kaeya pokes fun at Thoma for his infatuation with the heir to the Kamisato Corporation… though doing so invites questions about Ajax. The group chat knows about the scare the two shared, and while Kaeya sips his drink, he endures a little bit of bullying over that, too.
Somehow, Kokomi is the sweetest one amongst them, but has the most devastating comebacks if you push her just a bit too far. Kaeya loves his friend group— they shared misery together, and misery loves company. He wants to get Kokomi out of that place, too, but it’s a little bit harder, considering it’s a family member of hers who runs the club.
When it comes time to pick up the check, Kaeya pays for all of them… he figures it’s the least he can do when they’ve helped him out by doing the same in the past. As they begin to disperse, Kokomi pauses when Thoma and Mona go their separate ways, leaving only her and Kaeya behind.
“… Kaeya…?”
“Hm? What’s up Kokofish?” The playful nickname escapes his lips as he writes down the tip amount on the check.
“You look a lot happier, these days,” She says with a smile. “I’m proud of you.”
… somehow, Kokomi’s words, even when he’s come to expect hearing things like that from her, hit deeply. Maybe it’s because that while Kokomi is kind, she reserves words like this for occasions when she really means them— and wants him to know that, even if she’s always been proud of him. … Kaeya does not have many people telling him they’re proud of him for whatever reason, unless it’s Adelinde or Ajax, so he smiles at her, feeling a bit touched.
“… thanks.” He says, standing up. “I’m… happy to be happier.”
She’ll bid him farewell, telling him to keep in touch with all of them as she walks off… Kaeya shrugs his shoulders with a smile, saying he’ll try, and heads on home.
Work can sometimes be such a pain.
Ajax’s job sometimes requires him to travel, to go all over the world and finalize business deals. It takes him away from Kaeya’s side, but he can’t take all of his vacation days just for his sake. After being jet-lagged from a trip to Inazuma that then went to Fontaine, he finds himself exhausted in a way that caffeine can’t fix. He slips his phone out of his pocket and quickly texts his boyfriend, asking if he can visit.
🦊: back home
🦚: Ah! You are? That was a long trip… you okay?
🦊: yyyeah tierd :*( tird 00 tired**
🦊: can i come over after i pick up my dog?
🦚: Yeah, of course.
Ajax smiles softly… he can’t wait to pin Kaeya to the sofa and curl up with his head on his lap, maybe fall asleep like that. He drives to the bougie kennel where he set up Buster and pays his fee before taking him back to Kaeya’s place, Buster excitedly whining in the back seat, happy to have his owner home. His training isn’t anywhere close to being finished yet, considering he jumped up on Ajax the moment he saw him, but he’s made some great strides. He knows Dalmatians are harder than most pets to train.
… He got a message from his family earlier. They want him to come back up north— and to bring his new partner with him. It sends a shiver up his spine, because they expect a girlfriend, emphasis on girl. When he told them he was gay ages ago, his parents said ‘no you’re not’ as if… as if that was the end of it? Like, they decided, not him? Mostly his father— but his mother follows his father in everything he says, so…
He needs to talk to Kaeya about it— about… that.
As he pulls in front of Kaeya’s house, he’ll let Buster out after attaching his leash, walking him up to the front door, trusting him but not trusting him enough to let him walk freely beside him when a squirrel could run by. He gives his signature knock, and Kaeya opens the door with his hair in a lopsided bun.
“Ajax…! Welcome home.” He’ll lean in and kiss his cheek, and the whole thing feels so domestic… he’ll walk in and Ajax will follow in step, closing the door behind him and letting Buster run free off his leash. Kaeya got a dog bed just for him when he comes over, and though Kaeya offered to watch Buster while he was gone, Ajax insisted on the kennel for now, because Kaeya’s house is very new and he does not want his dog to chew it up.
“So how was your trip?” He asks as Ajax takes off his work jacket and loosens his tie on his neck, and all of a sudden, Ajax is seized with terror— because while Ajax would not mind cutting ties with his parents, cutting ties with them would mean cutting them with his little siblings, too, and he absolutely can’t do that. He realizes he’s up against the first dealbreaker for their relationship— homophobic parents, who would no doubt be pretty transphobic too, either because they would or wouldn’t consider Kaeya a man, thinking of him as the girlfriend Ajax brought home. It’s lose/lose.
… Kaeya… wouldn’t want to go through that, would he? … He’s already been through a lot in life, what if this is where he calls it quits? Ajax swallows dryly and realizes he hasn’t answered his question.
“Fine… it’s— fine.” He nods. “It was fine. Inazuma’s pretty this time of year— cherry blossoms and stuff. I got you some snacks from there… I found the ones you wanted, too. Was kind of hard, since I couldn’t read the packaging, but I pull through—” He gives a playful laugh, and Kaeya seems to notice that something is off… but at the prospect of finding that treat he’s always wanted to try, he’ll let it slide for now.
Ajax will hand him the convenience store bag of Inazuman snacks and Kaeya will look through them, giving a ‘yessssss’ when he finds the little dark chocolate squares he wanted. He’s going to break out his best wine for this so they can both try it, he’s heard it pairs magnificently with a vintage from Dawn Winery. Ajax will flop on his sofa while Kaeya hurries to the kitchen, the clinking of bottles and wine glasses distracts him momentarily from his predicament.
… he can’t… do this to Kaeya, right?
Like… force him to endure bigotry from his family in one direction or another just because he wants to have his cake and eat it too. Ajax has never wanted anything as much as he wanted Kaeya, but he adores his little siblings, and can’t imagine not being their big brother, or waiting until they grow up to see them again.
… should he break up with him?
The color drains from Ajax’s face as he realizes that that’s probably what he should do. Maybe… he should ask him first, though? Or is that cowardly? Or is not asking stupid?
Kaeya sits next to him with the glasses of wine in hand, giddily opening up the box of chocolate for them to share. He takes a bite of one of the squares and sips his wine immediately after, giving a pleased shiver at how the wine pairs. He encourages Ajax to try it too, and he does— but Ajax tips his wine glass all the way back, pounding it down in a way that surprises Kaeya.
“… you okay?” He asks, an eyebrow raised.
“Kaeya,” Ajax begins. “About my family…”
Kaeya hasn’t heard much about them. He knows Ajax adores his siblings— Kaeya even helped him pick out their gifts for the most recent holiday, listening to his stories about them and how cute they are. He does not mention his parents, but Kaeya always presumed that was because there was little to say. Kaeya, after all, does not often bring up his, even though there’s a lot to say.
“Yeah…?”
“… they want me to bring you home.”
“Well, I can go with you to Snezhnaya. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“No, there is. When I told my dad and mom I was gay years ago, they brushed it off and told me I was being rebellious. If I tried to bring it up ever again, they told me to ‘drop that nonsense’ and wouldn’t hear it. Then, they would ask about girlfriends, and… I don’t think I need to tell you what their opinion of me bringing home a trans boyfriend would be.”
Kaeya pauses… resting his hand over Ajax’s, though it’s hard to keep the hurt out of his voice.
“… are you ashamed—”
“… no, I could never be ashamed of you, Kaeya. I’m ashamed of them. Ashamed that in order to keep my siblings in my life, I have to play nice with them. And ashamed that the best thing that ever happened to me has to deal with the fact that I have such a— such a … dealbreaker.”
Ajax’s voice is tired and morose, his deep blue eyes turning up to look at Kaeya sadly.
“If it is a dealbreaker, then…”
Kaeya shakes his head.
“Ajax… do you think someone’s shitty parents are the first time I’ve ever dealt with those two phobias? … I had to go up against doctors who thought I was lying and were desperate to convince me I was a girl, and my father was my only advocate— and he was stinking rich, and could afford the most supportive doctors. The most supportive doctors were still pricks. I dealt with people in school that Diluc fought with on my behalf on a daily basis— your parents are not the first gauntlet I’ve ran.”
He squeezes Ajax’s hand gently… he knows Ajax is not like his parents, despite being just a little bit uninformed about some things.
“… what do you want to do, though?” He asks, and Ajax pauses.
“… I don’t want to take you to them. I really don’t. The idea that you would have to put up with it—”
Kaeya shakes his head.
“I’m not about to make it so you can’t see your siblings, awkward visits aside… maybe bringing them proof of who and what you are would be an act of defiance? Of proving to them that their smart, cunning, immensely successful son can choose his own damn life? If you let them put you under their thumb, they will.”
“…” He knows Kaeya is right, but to subject Kaeya to that— the coldness that he’d face, the shallow politeness that would change the moment he left the room, to even risk him overhearing… he doesn’t want to open up old wounds for him.
“I just don’t want you to suffer because of me,” Ajax says, tiredly, fidgeting with his hand. “You really are the favorite part of my life. The person I look forward to talking to every day. A reason I get up in the morning and work hard… to put you through that, is…”
“Let me ask you something, then. If your parents said the worst things imaginable to me, would you stand up for me?”
“Huh?”
“Let’s say they call me a girl. Would you correct them? … Or they call me something else— would you tell them off? Ajax, I can face that kind of thing, but I do it better when I have backup. If you can’t, then … it might not work out between us. But if you can… I don’t have any problem going with you and listening to whatever they have to say. Sticks and stones.”
Ajax thinks of his little siblings… his brows knit in worry.
“Of course I would… I guess I’m just afraid.”
“Of?”
“… of losing contact with my siblings.”
Kaeya nods… that is the trickiest part of this… that Ajax wouldn’t be able to see them until they grew up if things went from bad to worse. At the same time, though, if Ajax shows his siblings that he will not back down when it comes to the things that make him happy in life— it will inspire them, too. He is their favorite brother, after all, and his kindness would not be immediately forgotten just because their parents would tell them to forget.
“I understand… think about it, okay? … If you need to push the trip off for a while, you can while you weigh your options.” Kaeya guides Ajax to rest his head in his lap, and Ajax feels tiredness creep up into his bones. He wants to sleep… wants to let this topic fade from his mind. To be stuck between a rock and hard place is an unenviable position.
No matter how much Kaeya protests, says he can take it, he doesn’t want him to be put through that. It’s not fair of Ajax to even ask it of him… Ajax is not used to letting other people take hits for him, even to make a statement. The last thing he’d want to do, ever, is cause Kaeya pain in any way.
…
He never thought he himself would be the deal breaker. That Kaeya wouldn’t be the one to break up with him, but that Ajax might have to. Not because he loves him any less, but because he can’t hurt him.
The guilt gnaws at him for a little bit before he drifts off, having restless dreams while Kaeya turns the TV on at a low volume, letting Ajax catch up on his sleep in his lap and wondering about the things he’s said.
He just hopes he doesn’t do anything reckless, but reckless and Ajax go hand in hand, partners in crime. To ask him to play it safe is to ask him to do something he doesn’t know how to do.
His fingers card through his ginger curls, biting his bottom lip…
He hopes Ajax trusts him, enough to let Kaeya help him, but that’s a tall order. Kaeya himself struggles with it on his end, too, so it’s not as easy as asking… but he’ll hope and pray that he will. It’s all he can do.