Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Thanks again for letting me stay here until my apartment is ready. I really underestimated how difficult a cross-country move would be. I know space is a little tight, and you have a lot going on.” said Cameron from across the room, throwing the last of the party's trash into a faintly scented Hefty bag. She looked strikingly similar to her cousin in virtually every way except for her height. She was lucky to hit 5’2 “in heels.

“That’s what family's for. Even if we haven’t seen each other in over a decade.” Buck shot back at her, the subtle but playful sarcasm in his voice. Cameron could tell it hurt him, even if he was joking, it hurt her too. The two were inseparable throughout their childhood, Buck was only a few years older so they were always running off together at family functions, at school, whenever they could really. Sure they had the family group chats, but aside from the occasional Facetime catch-up or texting each other an old photo or Facebook memory they just didn’t talk anymore.

“Oh, it hasn’t been over a decade, the last time we saw each other was at my high school gradu…Oh, God. Wow, it really makes me feel old when you put it like that.” Cameron came into Buck’s living room with two solo cups and a cheap bottle of the overly sweet blueberry wine that they used to buy from a sketchy liquor store, near their high school. Mr. Novak, the man behind the counter, never carded the high schoolers, he would mumble in his old raspy indistinct European accent “No hard liquor.” For that reason, they went for the cheapest wine the store had. The type that has a cartoonish vineyard on the label and a plastic twist top instead of a cork. She curled up into one corner of the couch mirroring her cousin in the other.

“Right? I know thirty isn’t old but sometimes I look back and feel like things were so long ago.” Buck laughed before spotting the bottle, when he did, his expression changed to a smile that only the fondest of memories can bring: “I can’t believe you brought that with you. I haven't seen that wine in forever. ”

“Oh, I know, I saw it at the store and got smacked in the face with nostalgia. It won’t get ya shitfaced for $3 anymore…but it will for $7.” She giggled while leaning over and giving Buck’s cup a heavy pour. The two clinked their plastic cups “To Mr. Novak, you are still the oldest-looking person I’ve ever seen and are surely dead by now, so this one's for you.” and took synchronized gulps. Suddenly it felt like Thanksgiving and they were hiding in her parent’s basement closet. Indistinct chatter and the smell of turkey, pecan pie, and cheap wine emanating through the air.

Buck laughed. “That’s actually kinda good, I wasn’t expecting it to hold up.”

“ Well, you’ll be happy to know I bought two more in case we decide to continue reminiscing, so there’s plenty where that came from.” She motioned towards a few suitcases by his front door. “Your friends seem really nice by the way. Thanks for sharing them with me, I’m glad you and Maddie found them. Her and Chimney seem perfect for each other, I can’t wait until I get to meet Jee-Yun next week. “

“Yeah…they are, and of course! Everyone is welcome at the 118 hangouts.”

“Speaking of Maddie, did you notice that she wasn’t drinking and that she and Chimney kept whispering to each other? I might be way off base, but my money is on baby number two,” she said while holding up two fingers.

“Hmm, I don’t know. She gets kinda weird like that with alcohol sometimes.” Buck said, desperately trying to move past the conversation.

“Since when? You can call it women’s intuition if you want, but they were being hella obvious and your friends Eddie and Karen were speculating too.” Cameron pursed her lips and gave a whatcha gonna do hand gesture.

“Just don’t say anything, okay? it’s still pretty early…they don’t want anyone to know.” He pleaded, putting his free hand up between them.

“Wow, you still fold so easy when it comes to gossip, you blabbermouth.” she teased while swatting his hand away. “Don’t worry I won’t confirm nor deny any baby rumors.”

Thank you, that’s a relief. He said as his hand now on his forehead.

****

Chapter Text

Cameron had caught Buck up on the family drama back in Hershey, and he gave her more of a backstory on all his found family in L.A. The two were halfway through the first bottle of wine, and since both had already had a couple of drinks during the party, they were right at that perfect level of buzzed, where those deep meaningful late-night conversations happen.

“Oh, I’m pretty sure I saw that guy you dated in high school, on TikTok.” - Buck while grabbing his phone off the table.

“You’ll have to be a little more specific, I had two. Was it the one with curly hair and freckles or the one who looked like every douchebag in a 90’s sitcom? ” - Cameron

“The one with curly hair.”- Buck

“Aww Dallas, he was so sweet. I still miss him sometimes. Do you remember his handle…I’d love to touch base. I hope he’s doing well, he deserves the world; at least the high school version of him does. Did I ever tell you that when I had my appendectomy he made me rock candy, he MADE IT…BY HAND because he knew that sugary drinks were all I could hold down, and thought that rock candy might help too. How much fucking cuter can you get? If I’m being real, that’s still probably the kindest thing a guy has ever done for me.” Cameron reminisced

“He seems pretty happy,” Buck said showing her his TikTok profile. She took his phone and clicked on his username from the TikTok search engine; he was older and his curls were now much shorter but it was him. Her eyes moved to the bio it read: “Dad of two, husband to a beautiful wife, dog dad to a Saint Bernard, high school English Teacher. Copyright 1994”

“Aww that’s great, he was my first everything, even my first kiss, spin the bottle in 7th grade. We didn’t start dating for years, but the universe sent us to each other, and we were exactly what the other needed at the time.” she took a sip, “We only broke up because of college, long distance would be hard now, but at 18, it just doesn’t work. We lost touch a few years ago, I’m glad to see he landed on his feet.” Cameron recalled fondly. Cameron looked over at her cousin. Pouring himself another glass and seemingly trying to stifle a cry. “ Hey, it’s okay, Both of us are happy”

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have even brought it up, I’m going through a breakup right now and I should’ve known this would have made me upset,” Buck said, taking back his phone.

“ how long ago was the breakup?”Cameron’s face was empathetic and comforting to him

“ 3 weeks.” Buck was using his free hand to rub the back of his neck in a self-soothing gesture.

“Who broke it off?”She asked

Buck pulled further away from his cousin, to guard himself. He already knew before he even told the 118 that they would be accepting, but he hadn’t been around her in so long that he didn’t know how she would take it. He still wasn’t quite sure how his parents were taking it, they hadn’t even spoken much since they went back home after the wedding, and certainly not about his love life. He exhaled “Can, I be honest with you?”

“ Of course, you can.”- She reassured.

Buck looked over at his cousin as he nervously stuttered his confession, “I had a… boyfriend, and he broke up with me. I’ve been kind of a wreck since then…I…I Can’t stop baking…and you don’t look even remotely surprised.”

“That’s probably because I’m not surprised,” Cameron admitted mater-of-factly while finishing the wine in her cup.

Buck now looking down at the floor sheepishly questioned “How come nobody seems surprised when I tell them? Is it that obvious to everyone but me?”

Cameron exhales and fills her cup with the last of the first bottle. “Well, not everyone. I’m sure if Grandma was still here she would have been a little taken aback..but she was a prude old hag. you know she had to have been wild in her teens and 20s, the crotchety ones always were.” Buck chuckled while looking at the floor. “I’m sorry if that was a bad joke, but in my defense, my goal was to make you laugh, and it worked.” She moves closer to him on the couch now holding his forearm, “Evan?” She tried to regain his attention, but he kept his eyes on the floor. “In all seriousness, all I’m trying to say is… the reason a lot of people you love can seemingly tell is because you don’t hide yourself from them you… you allow yourself to be vulnerable, in a way most people don’t. We could see you were struggling with something… and while some if not most of us couldn’t pinpoint exactly what IT was, it probably just made sense in hindsight.”

Buck looked up and made eye contact. “That Grandma joke was pretty funny, she was a prude. didn’t she join that Facebook group for “Grandma’s Against Spongebob?” “ Buck Laughed

“Oh fuck, that’s right! She did.” She cackled almost choking on the wine “How could I forget that?”

“Are you okay?” Buck asked Cameron patting her on the back

“Yeah, I’m okay.” she coughed out still clearing her throat.

“ Good.” Buck chuckled, his attention went back to the conversation but, much more relaxed, “Can, I ask you something else?”
She nodded. “Were you one of the people who pinpointed it?”

Cameron made an exaggerated facial gesture and nodded. “Well I mean, I was pretty sure when I saw you check out that exchange student’s ass. I knew for sure when I read that 11-paragraph dissertation on how that gay couple who died together in a car accident helped you discover the true meaning of love and the importance of finding your place in the world.”

“ Hey…they only had each other.”Buck defended.

“That’s fair, it is a very sweet love story. Now, can I ask you something?” She asked

Chapter Text

“I guess, what do you want to know?” Buck replied cautiously, suddenly feeling like he needed to guard himself.

“Did he treat you well?” She was so concerned in her questioning.

Buck was so relieved by the softness of her question, but his body language was still very guarded. Even still, Cameron could tell the alcohol was helping him feel safe enough to get some of the weight off his chest. “Tommy… yeah, Tommy was amazing. He was so patient and understanding that it was my first time in a relationship with another guy, but I Bucked it up like usual.”

Cameron used her free hand to shake away that comment, “ Okay, first of all, let’s not use our name as a self-deprecating verb. Sometimes breakups just happen. Second, why do you think you MESSED it up? ”

“ It’s not important.” He dismissed

She could tell he was uncomfortable and didn’t want him to become more upset. “Okay, If you aren’t ready to talk about it, forget I asked. You can tell me about some of your calls. I don’t want to feel pressured to talk about it before you’re ready. ”

“It’s not that I don’t want to talk about it… I do. I just don’t know where to start, because I don’t understand what went wrong… it just... it doesn’t make sense?” He asked the statement more like a question, making him sound so much like his younger self, that she could practically see the thirteen-year-old version of him sitting in front of her.

“ Maybe I could be a good sounding board then. I’ve never met him, and since we haven’t seen each other in so long, I probably won’t be coming in with the preconceived notions Maddie or your friends here would have,” she tried to reassure him.

Buck thought for a second and took a sip from his cup. “Okay. I think I messed things up because I asked him to move in here and he immediately broke it off. We just celebrated our 6 month anniversary, I thought that we had something special. He even got us Laker’s tickets…” -Buck

“I thought you hated basketball?” Cameron interrupted.

“ I tried to get his attention by going to a pick-up game with him, Chim, and Eddie. He came here after the game because I got freaked out and hurt Eddie…” Buck was defending the tickets so ferociously that the last of his wine flung out of his cup, the pair tracked it in unison as it landed on the floor. He leaned over to the table to grab a napkin and soak it up. “...long story short he kissed me, so it’s kinda sentimental to us… and that’s not even remotely the point.”

“You’re right, I’m sorry. Continue. ” Cameron said shaking him off.

“ I just don’t know why people keep up and leaving me. I’m doing something wrong.” He mumbled, scared she would come up with a reason.

That’s not necessarily true…” She reassured.

“...It’s not necessarily untrue,” Buck interjected

“ Will you stop that?” she scolded. “Who else left you?”Cameron leaned over and set her cup on the table.

“Maddie has left me…” Buck began listing people and holding up his fingers to count.

“ …Evan…” she repositioned herself closer to her cousin, taking his free hand in hers. ”Maddie didn’t leave you. She was just surviving an abusive marriage, and she was scared. You were the only person when she got out that she felt safe trusting.”

“Okay maybe but she still left, and we lost touch,” Buck said moving his finger between the two of them.

I never wanted to leave you, I’ve missed you so much and I should’ve made a bigger effort to stay in touch. I promise I won’t let it happen again.” She was failing at comforting him.

“Eddie and Christopher.” His dismissal wasn’t a rude one, just an attempt to defend his thought process.

“I don’t know the full story with Eddie, but he did say he is moving back to El Paso to be closer to Christopher. He said he hurt Chris and Chris reacted by asking his grandparents if he could move in with him, right?” she clarified. Buck nodded. “I don’t know the details and it’s probably not my business but just by knowing that, It’s pretty clear that neither Chris or Eddie is leaving you. They are both probably just trying to find a way to process what happened. Does that sound more like what is probably happening?”

“I don’t know.” he shrugged.

“ Buck, you are not disposable, you know that, right? ” she questioned

“Realistically, I guess. But part of me keeps telling myself that everyone will leave.” He admitted

“Have you talked to them about this?” she asked.

“Kinda, but I know it’s stupid and I don’t want them to have to coddle me.” He said.

“ Having a fear of abandonment isn’t stupid, it’s a normal way to process trauma and I’m not saying they should coddle you, but they could help you find tools to not get as triggered by it.” Her statement actually did calm him down this time.

“I just don’t know why I struggle with this so much. It’s not like I’ve had that many people walk out on me.” he acknowledged

“I don’t think that’s where it comes from,” she stated

“Then where?” he asked

“Mom told me about Daniel, and I just wanna say that… I am so sorry…” she squeezed his hand. “The fact that Uncle Philip and Aunt Margaret would do something that cruel, is beyond words…”

“...I didn’t even know Daniel, it’s not fair to blame him or my parents for that.” he pulled away.

“ Buck, There’s a big difference between not knowing and not remembering. You might not remember him, but your subconscious does. He was with you for the first year of your life, you heard his voice, saw him, played with him, and then he left.” Cameron explained wiping away tears from her eyes.

Buck was crying a little bit too. “ I guess that would make sense… I still just don’t understand why they would keep him a secret. I felt so unwanted my whole life, and I never really thought I’d be proven right… especially in that way.

“I don’t understand it either, first thing first your parents may not have had you out of love, but you were not unwanted, I know Maddie and I have ALWAYS wanted you from day one we knew you were meant to be part of our life, the same with your found family here in L.A. It is so clear that they adore you, and they are your true family. She took his hand and squeezed it again.

“You really think so?” he asked squeezing it back this time.

“ Mhmm and I only I’m even bringing Daniel up is because when I found out about him… I was angry and I researched how losing a sibling like that could affect you… and there is some evidence that shows that infants who lose a loved one can develop abandonment issues later in life. “ She explained

“That makes sense, I think Tommy might’ve had issues like that too.” His facial expression and body language showed some relief, almost as if he was starting to not blame himself.

“You do?” she asked.

Chapter Text

“ Maybe, He said, “As much as I’d love for it to be true, I’m your first not your last.” I tried to say it wasn’t true and that he could be my first and my last, but he said that seldom happens and that if we stay together I’d probably end up breaking his heart.” Buck replied. “Don’t a lot of people with abandonment issues push people away?”

“Yeah, they can, and I don’t know him but it does sound like he could’ve been self-destructing. Does he have a good support system outside of you?” Her expression was soft and comforting, similar to how Maddie looks at him. Buck responds by shaking his head and going to get the second bottle of wine. Cameron follows him.“I think he…”

“I just really miss him and I’m worried about him.” Buck interrupts. He is standing in the kitchen now, the freshly opened bottle of wine on the counter. Cameron takes a seat on the barstool and pours it into each of their cups.

Cameron looks at her cousin across from her. “I know you are. You can get to know people a lot in 6 months, so it’s completely normal to be worried about him and to miss him. I think him breaking it off that way shows that he's probably struggling more with his self-worth than with your experience level.”

“ If it is about his self-worth, I don’t get why I couldn’t help him. It’s not like Maddie and I had the most emotionally vulnerable parents.” Buck was trying to comfort himself, by rubbing the back of his neck

She reached for his hand across the table, “I know you like being able to help people solve their problems, but, he’s not broken, It’s not something that can just BE fixed, some people need real… professional help before they can allow themselves to be happy. Especially when they don’t have good support systems outside their romantic relationships.”

“I don’t want him to be alone, he needs someone in his corner. ” It was like he was asking her for permission to be that person.

“Evan, he has to be willing to let people in. You can’t force happiness on someone who doesn’t think they deserve it.” Her assertiveness was like Bobby, and that helped to ground him.

“You really, don’t think it was something I did? He asked through shaken breath

“ I don’t think this happened because of any one thing. I think he was trying to protect himself, but ended up self destructing instead.” She said mater-o-factly.

Buck still didn’t believe that it wasn’t his fault, he wasn’t sure he ever would. but It was only half past midnight and he wasn’t ready to go to bed yet, so he just said “Okay.” and asked if she wanted to order a pizza.

“Sure, pizza sounds good. You still like sausage and pepperoni?”

“Yeah.” He exhaled wiping his eyes as he dialed a number he got off a refrigerator magnet.

After placing the order the two took a short break from the conversation to get cleaned up and changed into their pajamas. Buck splashed some cold water on his face over the kitchen sink, while Cameron went to the bathroom to take off her make-up. When she came back Buck had moved them back into the living room. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

He shrugged. “I just still feel like it was a mistake.”

She leaned closer to him resting her arms on the back of the couch, “I know, but if it is, it’s not your mistake to learn.”

“I really wanna text him.” he was grasping at his shirt above his heart.

“ Okay, but don’t do it right now, you’ve had too much to drink and odds are nothing you say right now will be helpful towards closure.” her hand now stretched out on his arm.

“ I don’t want closure, I want him.” He was starting to have a panic attack, no doubt exacerbated by the alcohol.

“Drunk texting isn’t going to help with that either. How about we talk about something else for a little bit?” She was trying to stop the panic attack, but it wasn’t working. He took multiple glugs of his cup and swiftly refilled what he drank.

Buck shook his head, “I don’t want to talk about anything else.”

“Okay.” she began motioning for him to take deep breaths. “ We can keep talking about him, but you need to calm down or you’re gonna make yourself sick.” Buck mirrored her breaths a few times. “No, more wine at least not until you get some food in you. Okay?” She took his cup and set it on the table. “Why don’t you tell me more about him, what made him so special?”

“He made me feel safe…” his voice was shaky.

“I’m listening.” She went to the fridge to grab a bottle of water.

He accepted the bottle and continued “… I don’t know why it just felt different with him.”

“You said he was the first guy you’ve been with, right?” Cameron motioned for him to take a drink, “Do you think that might be why it felt different?”

“I don’t know. That’s probably part of it.” The last gulps made him hiccup.

“I’m not …” started

KNOCK. kNOCK.NOCK. “ Pizza.” Buck started to get up.

“No. I got it. Drink some more water, " she demanded, walking over to answer the door. “Thanks, drive safe,” she said, exchanging the pizza for a cash tip. “You’re in luck. The pizza man just told me that greasy pizza is the best cure for drunkenness and broken hearts. It’s a proven fact.” She once again was able to get a small chuckle out of him.

“ I thought that was chocolate.” he rebutted

“He said that was on the list too, along with ice cream and french fries.” she got a real laugh out of him this time. The two each grabbed a slice and took a bite. “What was I saying?” she asked in between chews.
“We were talking about how my relationship with Tommy felt different than my other relationships, and you said “ I not…”.” Buck reminded her.

“Oh, right.” she took a bite, “ Not gonna lie, I have no idea what I was going to say, but how did it feel different?”

“ I just felt content.” He took a bite. “I could just be next to him on the couch watching a cooking show, and it would be the best part of my day. We didn’t even have to do anything; just being near him made me happy and safe.”

“ You didn’t feel like that with any of your exes?” she asked finishing her slice.

“Not really, I think the closest I got was Abby.” he grabbed a second slice. “ Surprise, Tommy dated her too.”

“ Plot twist.” she chuckled as she finished the wine in her cup.

“It’s not funny!” almost laughing himself, making her laugh even harder.

“It’s a little funny. What are the odds? When did you find out?” She asked while trying to compose herself.

“I found out first…” He was talking with his hands again and smacked the slice of pizza into his sweater. “...and I told him a few days later, right before I asked him to move in.” he poured a little water on a napkin and dabbed away the grease on his sweater.
“ You didn’t think to mention that, in the reason why he might’ve broken things off?” Her question came off harsher than intended.

“No. He said flat out that it was because he was my first boyfriend. why are you blaming me?” Buck defended

“I don’t blame you, and I didn’t mean for it to come across that way, I’m sorry. All I’m saying is that I think his relationship with Abbie, might have contributed to the breakup.” Cameron apologized.

“ I really don’t think that’s it. Yeah, It was awkward but it wasn’t the reason. He made it VERY clear, that it was because he was my first. I can see it being self-destructive but I can’t see it being about Abbie.” Buck leaned over and grabbed his cup of wine again.

“Okay…Okay, I believe you.” She could tell that he was on still on the verge of a panic attack. “Have you ever heard of invisible string theory?” Buck gulped his wine and shook his head. “It might seem silly, but I believe in it, and I think you might find comfort in it yourself.” she took a sip of her wine and grabbed another slice of pizza, “It’s the idea that the universe will always send you the people that you are supposed to be with because we are all tethered together by an invisible string. Does that make sense?”

“No.” he said as he shook his head.

“ So, you guys share an ex, right?” she started.

“Yeah..” the confusion still on his face.

“Do you know of any other ways you two have “crossed paths” or impacted the other’s life?” she continued.

” I guess him being in a relationship with Abby kinda caused a chain reaction in my life.” The confusion started to dissipate.

“See? I told you it’s almost always the case!” she was giddy, wiggling in her seat while she took a bite. “How so?”

“Well, he left the 118 after the breakup… and I took his slot which is how I met Abby, but she wasn’t in a good place for a relationship, so she ghosted me, leading Maddie to take her job at the call center.”

“See? Now, I’m not saying you two are destined to end up together, But I do think your souls or spirits… whatever you want to call them… are connected and were meant to intertwine even if it was just for a little while.” she took a sip.

“Okay?” Buck nodded along.

“ Think about it like this, Without his actions, You would’ve never got the job at the 118 meaning, Maddie and Chimney would never have met each other, so Jee and baby number two wouldn’t exist. And there are probably so many other ways you impacted each other that you don’t even realize.” Cameron was moving her free hand further down her leg with each point to give a visual of the chain reaction that it caused.

“ Shit,” he exhaled visibly processing the information.

“Right!?” she exclaimed, “ Now, if this is something you want to live by, you can’t stop living, you need to let yourself be happy and trust that the universe will bring you the right people. Romantic and platonic.”

“So you're saying I should start dating again?”

“ Well, you can give it another month or two, it’s okay to mourn the break-up. Do what makes you happy… but maybe for your wallet’s sake, you should take a break from baking.” She teased. “Steal Jee for the day, and do all the fun uncle stuff, have a beer with Eddie, Go to karaoke with Chim and Maddie.”

“Well, Chimney said I should get back into the pond, but I don’t even know which pond I want to go in,” Buck said taking a drink.

“You realize you don’t have to flip a coin, right? You can be attracted to both men and women. You don’t have to pick one over the other.” she explained

“ I guess, I don’t think I understand what my attraction to guys outside of Tommy means to me yet. ” He admitted.

“That’s understandable. I think you just need to trust that the right person will come along. Cameron responded

“That’s what Maddie said.” Buck chuckled.

“You should listen to us.” her hand gestures playfully indicating that it was obvious.

“You're probably right, I think it’s just hard for me to figure out what I want since I’m still hung up on Tommy.” he shrugged

“That’s probably a big part of it.” she sipped her wine

“When I am ready to start dating again, how should I go about talking to my dates about my sexuality, without turning people off?” He asked.

“You could put that you are interested in both men and women or you could put that you are trying to figure out your sexuality. I don’t think you should feel pressured to define it before you’re ready,” she answered.

“I don’t know.” He took a drink of the wine.”I think that would turn off a lot of people.”

“If that turns them off, they aren’t the right person for you. Cameron answered

“Okay fair”… buck said refilling his wine and taking a big glug. “you said you suspected I was into guys since high school, right?”

“Yeah.” she sipped at her wine.

“Did you think I was gay?” he asked

“No.” she shook her head. “I always thought you were Bi.”

“You did?” he seemed shocked, that someone could see him so well.

“Yeah, and I know that might not be the right identity for you, and I will respect whatever you tell me, but that is just what I always felt fit you.” She nibbled at the slice of pizza on her plate by taking off a piece of meat at popping it into her mouth.

“I think bisexual is probably the right identity. But I still don’t know for sure, part of me thinks that maybe I feel so comfortable with Tommy that I’m supposed to be with a guy, but I know I’m attracted to women too.” He explained running his fingers through his hair.

“Buck, you can have a romantic preference,” She said.

“I think part of me is scared of saying anything because I know people will say that I’m lying, especially, if I only seriously date men,” Buck admitted.

“I know this goes back to the rejection and abandonment issues, The only people whose opinions matter are the ones who you love.” She poked his chest. “Nobody here in LA cares whether you are straight, gay, or bi. They want you to be loved.”

“I know, I’m not scared to tell any of them…I don’t even know why it freaks me out,” he said rubbing his eyes.

“It’s a normal defense mechanism, but just remember you are the only person who knows and gets to determine how you identify, alright?” She yawned.

“Alright,” he said catching her yawn.

“Do you feel better?” she asked while picking up the pizza box and walking it over to the fridge.

“Yeah, I do.” he followed her with the empty wine bottles and glasses.

“Promise?” she said holding out her pinky.

“Promise.” He chuckled wrapping his pinky around hers.

“Good. Let’s get some sleep then. You’re gonna need it if you don’t want a hangover tomorrow.” She said patting his arm.

He laughed.

“You aren't going to go drunk text Tommy while I make up the air mattress, are you?”

“No, I do wanna reach out, but I’m going to wait until tomorrow. I don’t want to scare him off anymore than I already did.”

“Okay, good. Now go and get some sleep. I love you.” she shooed him off.

“ I love you too Cami,” he said swallowing her in a hug.

Chapter Text

Buck woke up around 11:30 AM to Cameron making brunch. “Hey how is that bottle and a half of wine treating you?”

“Not great.” He said as he thanked her as she set a loaded breakfast bowl infront of him.

“Hopefully some food will help. Coffee?”

“Please.”

“Here ya go.” She said, handing him a coffee mug. “ Alright, I got to head to do the walkthrough with the landlord, he said the other day, all goes well and it should be ready for me to start moving in a week from today.”

“Thanks Cami, goodluck.” he said.

“Thanks!” she grabbed her purse and closed the door behind her.
Buck grabbed his phone and navigated towards his text thread with Tommy, still unsure of what to say. He sat there looking at the blank text bubble and took a few bites of his food.
…
Bite
…
Hey Tommy,

I just wanted to let you know that I miss you. You helped me find the part of myself I was searching for, and I will always love you for that.
I still believe that we are supposed to be together, but if I’m wrong I’m really glad I got to experience feeling loved by you.

Love,
Evan

Send. Buck closes out the chat box and slaps his phone down on the table and continues eating.

Bite.
…
Bite
…
Bite
…
Ping!

Hey Evan,

I don’t know what the future holds, and honestly, I don’t know if I’m in a good enough place to find out, right now.
I really hope you’re right!
If you aren’t, I’m really happy I got to experience you loving me too.

Love,
Tommy.

THE END.