Archive of Our Own ^beta

White painted walls accented with grays and blues occupied her vision as she fiddled with her stuffed bunny’s ears. Its fluffiness should have soothed her by now, but the weary atmosphere brushed on her as if to put her on edge, uneasy feeling bubbling in her stomach. It was an endless hallway to her at least, only decorated by dull oil paintings hanging on the walls she’d rather splatter paint on if her father was not sitting beside her to guard themselves in the waiting area.

Looking up, she noticed her father’s dark circles around his eyes, age wearing him off as the stress of waiting for his wife weighed on him. Anyone passing by would ignore his sleeping stature, having his arms crossed as he leaned himself on the bench and keeping their necessities in a bag close to him. Isha was always obedient, staying put when she was told to do so, but her boredom overtook her and the smell of antiseptics bothered her enough to get her legs going.

She did not stray away from Ekko, in fact she was interested in observing the vending machine that was miles high from her tiny perspective. Chocolates, candies, salted peanuts, sodas– anything she could think of to give her mother when she comes back. Ekko told her beforehand that her mother would be away for a while inside the cramped room somewhere in this building. She never understood what “labor” meant and assumed it was some kind of business. All she knows is that it is when a baby will come home to them– whatever that means.

She never once thought of having a sibling, not because she did not want to, but her parents seemed to be satisfied with the life they had. It was a simple one, albeit a bit chaotic during friday nights when Jinx cooks spaghetti and serves it on a table cloth with a cake in the center, no utensils. Was it disgusting? Probably for Ekko, but it was memorable for all of them. Her mother was adamant about giving her great memories she would cherish for years on end.

Which is why the topic of having a sibling was brought up on the table months ago. Gentle as they are, she could not shake off the feeling that her decision would determine a great outcome; it was either a nod or a shake in the head.

“Trinket, what do you say about having another member in the family? Do you want a playmate?”

And she nodded without hesitation.

But now, she was not sure if she wanted one. For the past months, her parents became busier and moodier. Their usual family nights became silent when both of them slumped on the couch right after coming home from work or picking her up from school, leaving her with take out food for dinner instead of hearty meals they cook. None of her recent drawings got put up on the fridge because, well, she is pint-sized. Recognitions were waning, and so were their interests in her crafts. It only went on the bigger her mother’s stomach got, which was bizarre.

Perhaps they got bored and they went off to play at the beach without her because she was certain her mother was hiding a giant beach ball under her dress, she thought.

“What’cha doing there, kiddo?” a low gentle voice belonging to a man approached from behind. He wore his signature long green coat to combat the freezing temperature in the hospital. “We’re gonna see her soon.” Ekko said, yawning as he covered his mouth. Isha looked up to her father and pointed at the candy row in the machine, to which he shook his head. “There’s some snacks in the bag.”

Pouting, she hugged her bunny close to her, following the man walking back to their spot and opened the bag. She was given a sandwich that smelled of her favorite chicken filling and a bottle of water, gesturing to his adoptive daughter to eat. Ekko grabbed some of his own as they resumed waiting, 

“She must be so exhausted.” He mumbled, taking a bite of his food despite the cold air drying his tongue. “I should’ve packed more food. She must be hungry.” His muffled voice was enough to hear within an earshot. She saw how he took care of her mother, often worrying about Jinx’s health due to her frail state.

Isha tugged his sleeve.

[“How long is she gonna be there?”]

Ekko intercepted her sign language and softened his eyes. “Any time soon.”

[“But it’s taking forever!”]

Her father pursed his lips, unsure what to answer. Jinx was a determined woman at most, but doubts come flooding in when her loved ones are not around to anchor her. In most cases when that happens, it manifests as a physical ailment. He never doubted her even if she was showing signs of breaking down, but she can only do little without encouragement. 

“We’ll have to be patient.” he explained, rewrapping his sandwich and putting it away. “Mama is trying her best.” as he patted her head, he cannot help but to let out an exasperated sigh. 

The small child simply nodded, not wishing to prod her tired father. After finishing her food, she began to yawn and rested her head on her father’s lap, waiting for god knows how long.

—

“Mr. Perez?” A nurse called. “Ekko Perez?” 

Ekko jolted awake, startled upon being called. As soon as he saw the nurse in the hallway, he shook Isha awake and stood up. “Is she okay?” his voice came out panicked.

“She’s doing alright. She requested for you to come in.”

With that, the father and the daughter walked hand in hand to the designated room where Jinx was resting. As the door opened, they saw her lying on the elevated bed as shallow breaths escaped her lips. Strands of hair were plastered on her forehead by her own sweat, while the rest of her blue locks were tucked away by a low bun. Her body was paler than usual, decorated by her sunken eyes and ivy tubes on her arms. Isha rarely saw her mother in a weak state, or at least Jinx refused to let her daughter see in such light. Part of her wanted to jump up and hug the woman to comfort her, if it wasn’t for the bundle she was holding.

In her arms secured a white towel, housing something that made cooing noises.

“There’s my little trinket!” Jinx weakly cheered, beckoning her oldest child. “You miss mama?” her free arm opened for the toddler to embrace her on her bedside. Isha nodded wildly to answer.

Ekko settled the bag on the floor and went to kiss his partner, wanting an embrace after being away from her for hours. “You taste salty.” He humored in her fashion.

“Oh shut up.” she snickered. “I gotta feed this little rascal with my udders soon. Got any grub?” The way she expressed herself after hours of labor, crass as it is, astounded him. Despite the grueling moments she had endured during the operation, she still had the energy that lit up the room– one of the reasons why he loved her so dearly.

“Yeah yeah, I got them.” Ekko chuckled, synching with her humor while leaning close to her and his child. “Take it easy.”

Jinx carefully extended her arms towards her husband, showing their newborn. Ekko’s reaction was something Jinx could picture forever: ever so proud that they were able to make it happen. She never thought she could go through it due to her fragile health even at the age of twenty-seven, but it was outweighed by the happiness they radiate. His teary eyes had to be held back for him to marvel at the joy in his arms. 

“Isha? Do you wanna meet your baby sister?” Ekko called, cradling the newborn with utmost care. Millions of thoughts ran across his head, partially on excitement to welcome the infant in their family, and the other being the pressure of becoming a father to the youngest– at least for now.

The little girl reluctantly moved forward to see the bundle. She was skeptical about this baby, no doubt, but her curiosity got the best of her. Tiny hands reaching out in the air from the wrapping, aiming at nothing until Ekko’s fingers came to view. The infant wasted no time to grab on them to get a sense of her surroundings. He lowered the baby down for Isha to see her sister clearly.

The babe’s eyes were closed, puffed and shut. Her complexion shared that of her father, but her hair was taken from the mother. She is as cute as a button, something that made the little girl smile. 

[“What’s her name, mama?”]

Jinx and Ekko looked at each other, unsure what to answer. They have been debating on what to call the child for some time now; both of their mother’s names sounded nice, but it was too old fashioned. The same goes for modern names– it was either too complicated or too stupid, according to Jinx.

Isha stood by as her parents thought of what to call the baby, taking out her sketchbook as she sat at the edge of the bed. It was filled with colorful doodles and bold shapes she replicated from her parents' old graffiti when they were still in their old town. Much has changed since then, and she had to adapt to her new environment.

One of the sketches caught her eye, for it was drawn by her father; a blue flower they once saw at the park where they had their picnic. Isha interrupted her parents and pointed at Ekko’s drawing.

“Is that my drawing?” he asked, to which she nodded. She kept tapping at the page in hopes of getting her idea.

“Oh! Do you want to name her?” Jinx reciprocated and turned to her partner. “What flower is it?”

“Iris.” He answered. “It’s beautiful.” 

“‘Guess we gotta keep that tradition in our family.” The woman snorted, remembering how her uncle named her sister ‘Violet’ while her own mother was also named after a flower group. Not to mention, her dead name rhymes with the word ‘flower’. “You got a knack for this, kid.” She ruffled her daughter’s brown hair.

Isha quickly grabbed the crayon in her bag and wrote on a blank page to show it to the baby:

[“Hello Iris!”]

But the baby only blinked even when she approached. She kept showing the sketch book to the baby until she heard Ekko chuckle.

“She can’t read or speak yet.” He ruffled her hair. “You’ll have to wait until then.”

Isha took a glance at the baby again. Is this going to be her new playmate? 

Suddenly, a soft knock on the door interrupted the family. The doctor announced himself to come in and check on the mother and the baby, proceeding to read them the test results for the newborn which were all good news. Jinx and her child were expected to be discharged after two days according to the doctor, exciting the couple.

But Isha just wanted to go home.

—

A week has passed since her mother got out of the hospital. A celebration was held at their little home, attended by her aunts and uncles and other friends of her parents. Gifts were stacked up high in one corner of the room for the baby, all of which were for daily needs and toys that would take years before her baby sister could even use them. It was no surprise the biggest wrapped gift came from Caitlyn, her least favorite aunt.

A tricycle? Really? She can’t even walk yet!

As much as she hates to admit it, Isha can’t help but to feel a pang of jealousy. She never had this kind of attention on her birthdays, much less inviting people over other than her aunt Vi and some of their neighbours. Somewhere in her chest she starts to feel the cold shoulder from her parents, feeling invisible when around them.

“Heya, kid.” a woman spoke as she approached the stairs where Isha was sitting. “Got you come cake. Figured you need it to cheer you up.” Vi offered the girl a plate of sliced chocolate cake. “Something on your mind, bun-bun?” she said, referring to the rabbit hoodie the small girl was wearing. It took minutes before deciding to take the sketchpad that was tucked beside her and wrote to her aunt.

[“I don’t think mom loves me anymore.”] 

Taken aback, Vi sat her plate down. “What makes you think that?”

[“They love her more than me.”]

The woman sighed and gave a chuckle, seemingly understanding why her niece was upset all morning. She sat beside her and slumped back on the steps..

“Y’know, I used to feel that way when your mother was born. I really thought our mom forgot about me when she had Powder.” Vi chuckled, remembering the tantrums she had thrown as a toddler. “But your grandmother told me I could be the best big sister she could ever have. I just wasn’t able to see the bigger picture yet back then.”  

[“Do you like being a big sister?”] Isha wrote.

“I love her.” A simple reply. “No matter if I was born before or after her, I’d still love her the same. Even if we’re worlds apart.” 

Isha intently looked at the sketch book, contemplating on what to feel now that she was given a new perspective. She may not share blood with her parents, but Vi always saw the resemblance of Ekko’s responsibility and Jinx’s fierceness within her, a good mix of both. 

“I heard you picked your sister’s name. How amazing is that?” Vi added, ruffling her head. “They trust you enough to name her. You should count on it.”

Adjacent to them was the living room where her parents and guests sat. Baby Iris slept peacefully in her mother’s arms, unaware that she was fawned over by many.

“Vi! Come in here quick. I need help with the refreshments.” Caitlyn called from the kitchen. 

“Oop– gotta leave you here for now, bun-bun. Enjoy the cake!” Vi picked up her empty plate and headed to her wife.

Once again, the girl was left all alone with her own words and an uneaten piece of cake.

— 

Night has fallen over the Perez household; guests have left hours ago, giving plenty of time for the family to tidy up for dinner and retire to bed after a long day. Isha felt a sense of closure after having a talk with her aunt earlier, no longer needing to harbor complicated feelings over the new member in their family.

There she stood in front of the mirror, wearing her pink bunny pajamas and using a stool to reach for her toothbrush on the sink. Soon, the cabinet will have another set of belongings alien to her. 

“You’ve been occupied lately. Is something up?” Jinx appeared on the bathroom door as she brushed her teeth. The small child only gave a dismissive shake.

“I cooked your favorite meal earlier, but you didn’t touch it.” the woman leaned on the door. “I’m worried, trinket.” 

The sudden shift of tone in her mother’s voice struck something in her. It was the same when she scraped her knee by accident; her mother caught tears first instead of her, feeling her pain ten times worse. Isha wiped the water and foam from her mouth and turned around to see her mother having that familiar melancholic expression decorating her face. Soon enough, Isha instinctively hugged her.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t able to hang up your drawings.” Jinx broke down in tears, reciprocating the embrace as her warm robe enveloped her daughter. “I’ll make it up to you.”

Isha let her mother squeeze her, breathing in her calming scent from her blue locks. How she missed this, she thought.

“I’ll go get your papa so we can read you a story later, sound good?” Jinx caressed her face, a gesture reserved only for her children. “Just like before?” The little girl nodded wildly, having her forehead kissed before going to her room.

As soon as she arrived in her room, she immediately rushed to her small book corner and searched for her favorite story.

But no matter how much she ignored, her focus wavered in the crib’s direction. The two light sources in “their” room were the night light and the star carousel Ekko made for her, spinning its projected shapes to the ceiling. Her feelings for the baby changed as Vi’s words danced in her memory. It was up to her when she could adjust and accept her sister.

Somehow she was warming up, but she doesn't know how to show it. Not when the baby can’t understand her, nor could Isha say “I love you” directly.

Noticing the book wasn’t there, she assumed it was left on the coffee table this morning. Without a moment to lose, Isha rushed downstairs quietly only for her to catch a glimpse of her parents talking in the kitchen.

“-No, you can go to bed. You need more rest.” The man submerged the last batch of plates onto the sink. Chores were the least he could do after months of her enduring the pregnancy.

“-Ekko, I’m capable of washing the damn dishes.”

“-And so am I. Babe, just let me wash them.”

“-If this is one of your hot attempts at being a hubby, I’m not gonna fall for it.” Jinx crossed her arms and leaned on the counter.

“-No attempts needed– you’re already watching~” Ekko smirked.

Seeing their flirtatious conversation going on, Isha gagged and sneaked into the dim living room. Flipping through the stack of magazines and books on the coffee table, she overheard her parents again.

“I’m starting to think I’m bad at this parenting thing.” Jinx looked down at her glass. “I can’t believe I fell short of being a mom.”

“With how we raised Isha, I wouldn’t dare say you’re anywhere near that.” Ekko patted his hands dry with a towel and proceeded to comfort her. “You’re not the only one who noticed. I felt like I’ve been ignoring her too.” Her shoulder slumped down, realizing how big of an issue it was. “We did our best giving everything for them. It’s okay to breathe.” Ekko assured, and so she breathed.

“I’m just worried she’ll get frustrated. I don’t want her to end up like…you know…”

Isha peeked her head out from the doorway, holding the storybook in her hand. Before Jinx could continue, a gentle hand cupped her face. Her lips found their way towards his, indulging the moment they weren’t able to have for a long time. 

Kissing on the mouth was gross, Isha thought. Her parents explained it was only for them to share, as well as her aunts alone, but there were times it was done on her forehead or her cheek before bedtime or for goodluck. She didn’t mind though, it was nice to receive affection from both her parents when she needed it. The current thought that her baby sister would receive the same attention entertained her; how can they give it without hearing an “I love you” back?

Then it clicked— she doesn’t say it back exactly either.

Maybe they do have something in common.

“I’ll wash up, then we can tuck her to bed.” Ekko said.

Isha ran back to her room and carefully closed the door. She was supposed to lie on her bed if it weren’t for the baby cooing loudly. Wide awake, Iris babbled at Isha to get her attention. One side of the crib was pulled down, leaving it exposed for an access. She assumed her mother was too tired to notice she left it that way, seeing the clean change of clothes and diaper supply placed on the table beside it. 

As she attempted to put the railing back up, the baby stretched her arms toward her. Isha halted and looked at the baby, impressed at her energetic state that even outshines her ecstatic nature during one of her soccer games. For someone who does nothing but sleep and eat all day, she figured she harbored a lot of fuel to last the entire night. No wonder her parents woke up groggily— was this why they put her in her room?!

Isha scrunched her face, observing the infant. Surely, her parents loved her enough to not put her in the same turmoil hearing this baby cry all night, right?

[“We’re gonna set up some house rules here.”] Isha firmly gestured.

[“Cuteness is not gonna save you, that’s my tactic! That won’t work on m—“]

The baby successfully patted her hand, stopping her from acting her words. Iris was intrigued by her sister, far from what Isha thought was intimidation. The small fluff of the baby’s hair began tickling her face as she moved closer to prevent her sister from falling. So tiny, she spoke to herself; helpless and tiny.

And yet here she is, doing her duty as the eldest child. 

Iris stared at her with much adoration, wanting to grab some of her brown locks. Spit rolled down from her chin, unable to grasp basic motor skills but was determined to catch her sister’s attention. Somewhere in the girl’s brain told her this was what her mother felt like when she was the one craving it. 

So she leaned in and gave her a kiss on her forehead.

The baby responded with happy noises and begged to give her more attention, Though unfortunately, Isha was half way closing the crib and was ready to go back to her side of the room. Eventually, Iris began sobbing at the loss of her source of endearment. 

She wanted to ignore, but she couldn’t stomach abandoning her. Even though she was tired, she forced herself to walk back and opened the railing again, climbing up to satisfy the baby’s need to be held. Miraculously, it worked.

Was she this needy with her parents? Probably, but she can’t complain. 

As soon as the baby closed her eyes, Isha yawned and felt giving in to the night’s embrace.

—

“I’m beginning to regret moving the baby in her room. What if she cries?” Ekko said, walking beside his partner as they headed towards their daughter’s room.

“You worry too much. Iris doesn’t cry that bad!” She confidently remarked, but earned a glance from him. “Okay, maybe I like not being woken up in the middle of the night. Don’t point fingers now, you want peace too.”

“Not at the cost of Isha losing sleep!” He sighed, reaching the doorknob. “I’ll finish the nursery this weekend.” 

“I’ll have Vi over. I told her to get the paints ready—” she was cut off by her husband’s raised palm.

“Jinx, look.” He beckoned her to peek inside the crack of the door. 

In the crib lies the sisters; Isha and Iris sleeping peacefully as stuffed toys surround them. The dream-like ambience of the room from the carousel toy added to the level of endearment in Jinx’s lense. If only she had her camera, she would capture this perfect moment.

 Without a word, the couple quietly checked on the two and tucked them in, securing the crib so the children wouldn't fall off while sleeping. They both gave the two a kiss on the forehead before leaving the room, excited that they get to spoil two kids from now on.

Or more.