Chapter Text
STEF POV
"Well, baby, I'm glad the force is treating you well. I know it's not an easy time." Mama Debbie says as she flips the burgers on the grill along with the hot dogs.
I smile at her and sip my beer, feeling the warm breeze in the air. It was a nice night, and I was just enjoying the time with my Moms. I always did and family had always been important to me. I still made it a point to check in with my grandmother weekly, because regardless of her viewpoints, I still loved her.
She was still in Michigan and never did fully recovered from the fall she took when I was a kid. She lived in assisted living and Mama Fran made the visit to see her once a year. I had yet to do that and had not laid eyes on her since I came to LA as a kid.
I wasn't sure why, but when I spoke to her on the phone, she was still asking how 5th grade was and if Mama Fran was still a sinner. She had no idea I was a cop, and she had no idea I was gay. If she found out either, it might put her in the ground.
"Yeah, it's good. Long days, unpredictable days. But I knew partly what to expect." I smile and she turns to look at me, nodding her head.
"I know. You watched your Mama Fran. You took it all in, baby, and you are an amazing cop, just like her." She compliments as I take another sip of my beer.
"Thank you. Ma, can I ask you something?"
"Sure honey, what's up?"
"How did you feel about cops? Before you met Mama? Or how did you feel when you knew she wanted to be one? I mean, it was a weird time and I know it's kinda no different now, but I don't know. How did you feel about being with someone that was white?"
Looking at me, she puts the tongs down and grabs my hand. We both sit at the little patio as I put my beer down, and she looks right into my eyes. Mama Debbie had always been honest with me, from day one, but I was pretty sure there were many, many things she never told me. Which I understood.
Everything I told Lena on the boardwalk that day was true. But there was more to that story, that I couldn't even say. Not because I wasn't allowed, but because it was so painful. To this day..
"I know as a kid you, you taught me a lot, Mama. And I saw a lot. The mistreatment you faced, prejudice, discrimination. How you and Mama Fran couldn't tell anyone about your relationship. That couldn't have been easy, Ma."
"It wasn't. And Mama Fran and I were always honest about things with you. Partly we tried to shield you from certain things, but we didn't want you to be ignorant to the world."
"But to answer your question, baby, I think I was a tad weary when I met her. And it took time for me to see past her being white. If I'm being honest with you, which I always was. I see her as white, obviously, but I started to see who she was. She was kind, gentle, understanding and so much more than her skin color. I gave her a chance, and I already had feelings for her. And my family back home didn't know, because I knew how they would feel. Honey, those Jim Crow laws I great up with made things very difficult. And it was an everyday thing for me and my family."
"Did you feel like you were betraying them or being disloyal?"
"In some sense, I felt that way. I struggled. But I loved your Mama Fran. It wasn't black and white. We knew we had to hide our relationship, and that wasn't easy. But we love each other very much. Still do. And when she decided to be a cop, I was worried about her safety. And there were barely any women. Maybe one. But she was loyal to me, and I know what she heard in the locker rooms and on the street and with her coworkers. It was hard for us in different ways." She says and I nod, sipping.
"But, who has your nose turned up? Who have you met?" She asks and I look at her and laugh.
"Oh, no one Mama."
"Mm. I beg to differ. Someone has your eyes and ears open. A woman you met at work or on a date?"
"Well, just, I helped her daughter. Her little girl Diamond got jumped by some girls on 103rd."
"Oh no, is she okay?"
"Yeah. Mike and I were driving by and saw it, so I took Diamond home after. Then Lena's other daughter, whose about 12, I busted her for shoplifting and a few days after she tossed a brick at me when her and her friends decided to sneak up on us one night by the Dunkin on 104th. I almost took her to the station, but when I saw her ID, I saw where she lived and found out Diamond was her sister. So I've bumped into Lena three or four times now. And a few weeks ago I saw her at the boardwalk, and we talked. Well, mostly I talked, but um, she hates law enforcement. She doesn't car for me and I found out her brother was killed by a cop and her daughter's friend and..." I fade off now as I feel her grab my hand and I look back at her.
"And you like her."
"No." I blush. "Mama, I wanted to try to get her to see that we aren't all violent or beat up on black people. That I'm not like that. I kinda asked her to let me take her to lunch if we bump into each other again.I don't know, Mama, I...I'm not sure why I did that." I shake my head, feeling her squeeze my hand.
"You are just like your Mama Fran. 100 percent. Listen, if you happen to bump into this Lena, who is from where?"
"She's from Watts, and I think she lost her job. I don't know why I...
"Why you like her?"
"I don't think she's gay, Mama. I just wanted to know how it was for you when you meet Mama Fran."
"Not easy, but if this Lena is gay, and you happen to see her again, I think it's up to her if she wants to be open, and see you for who you are. Stefanie, I know it's in your nature to try to show people who you are. Alway was. If it's meant to be a friendship, then it is. But I want you to be careful. I don't want you getting hurt, okay?"
"I know."
"You have a heart of gold. You are wise, and intuitive and obviously something about Lena has opened your nose. But be who you are. And who you are is beautiful, my Stefanie Marie. Any woman would be blessed to have you. I love you, sweetheart."
"I love you too." I smile as I see Mama Fran walk into the back and gently squeeze my shoulder. I knew I was getting ahead of myself here, and I just wasn't sure why I was still thinking about Lena.
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I think Stef likes Lena already. You guys think Lena likes her?